Narcissists Exist In A Vacuum
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- Опубліковано 12 січ 2024
- In this episode, The Little Shaman discusses self-focus in narcissists.
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One will NEVER experience a single day of peace when living with a narcissist. Even if things are calm, one will be waiting for the shoe to drop. They don't change, but to get worse. Leave now. Your life is waiting. . .
Yep, I think that's true. It's just so sad, isn't it. For them, the damage was done a long time ago, and it's like a footprint in cement - it can't be undone. If you try to help them, it will cost you EVERYTHING. You will lose your money, your self worth, your job, your friends, and ultimately your life. And after all that, they still won't be fixed.
Thank you for this
They don't just exist in a vacuum, they ARE absolute vacuum.
be wary of anyone being cruel in any way, to you, or to anyone else. be careful.
Thank you, Little Shaman. As usual, this is so on point. I think one of the most confusing aspects to these personalities is that their self-centeredness goes completely against the grain of what it means to live within the human community.
Youre welcome. And yes. It definitely does. That's why they're considered antisocial.
Spot on.
They destroy the people around them.😢
After the fact, I see any attempts to reason or explain my perspective were futile. My only role was to agree and placate or be banished, tarnished, and ignored. In the end, standing my own ground was to defend my own character and rebuke his attempts to tear it down. No longer engaging with someone who cannot be trusted because they don't even trust themselves.
Spot on!
There are so many Pod Casters now on Narcissists. I'm now very selective on the podcasts I listen to.
You are one that is a keeper.
Thank You
RIGHT ON!
I unsubscibed from a bunch.
I'll.just stick with this lady now❤
Cheers.
Christi
Out front. On point
A narcissist does not know that other people have a mind which is separate from the narcissist, so the narcissist is unaware of any causal connection between their actions and other people's reaction to their actions.
Sometimes they punish us for that because we can't & don't think exactly like them or how they want us to think😢😮 and we can't always be ourselves around them😮
This is unbelievably accurate LS. Empaths and even Normals find the degree of self centred ness tough to understand. So many times through out my sentence with one- I saw it-and spoke about it frequently to him - watching THE STARE, to follow with the usual response…”well I never really thought about that”. Or “That never occurred to Me” and sadly- that turned out to be the only truth- he ever spoke.
The know ZERO TRUTH
YES. It sounds very innocuous when put that way, doesn't it? Like just a perspective shift is all that's needed. The translation is, I don't consider you at all.
@@thelittleshamanhealingconsideration = love
Facts! 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
I love your phrase, "throughout my sentence with one". That is exactly what it is, prison time.
Working against you and themselves. FACTS
Thank you Little Shaman for helping me understand this terrible disorder...
Your voice has become like an old friend over the past several years. Your information and wisdom is always welcome and appreciated
External locus of control & lack of self awareness, & no consequences; exactly! 👍 Thank you! Awesome talk!❤
Yeh, to give my mother the benefit of the doubt, she underestimates her power to be hurtful.
Sorry about that. I had to go no contact with mine 5 years ago. I just couldn't take it anymore.
@@denisedevoto5703me too, about 2 years now
No she does NOT underestimate it. NOt at all.
Your commentary still confronts truth/reality in a More descriptive way than many so called "Bible faith" communities. Thank you for your very important work!
It's actually good to hear that the narcissist can't love. All my life people have told me that my mother loves me and that I just didn't understand her.
I’m sorry you got stuck with one as a Mom🩵I am guessing YOU-on the other hand will be an amazing Mom.
@kathrynhogan3387 thank you that is a very kind thing to say
@@HollyStoneChannel you’re welcome-as an Empath you already know what it feels like to have a Mother like that and you’ll make sure you are the opposite💪
You continuously describe my former friend in video after video. Cause and effect? Impossible for him to see. he told me I keep making up reasons to be mad at him.
This video surely reinterates.So much now living in peace.
Very true...you'll die trying
My experience is that my narcissistic family member absolutely believes that I am the narc. They have seen these kinds of informational videos and therefore use the “how to deal with a narcissist” on me. It’s maddening…. Maybe I am the narcissist. I don’t know! All I know is that I’ve tried to fix our relationship for years. My heart is broken.
Your interpretation of their behavior is so spot on!
This is one of the best explanations on narcissism I’ve ever heard. Amazing work. The part on the explanation of you being a mirror and will always be a mirror for them and never ever a separate human being. Rationalizing that is just heartbreaking to the core and the truth to the core. So painful it’s beyond comprehension but it is real life.
0 self awareness. One of the most fascinating things about narcissists is that they put you in life situations that you would never witness otherwise. One of the most amazing things to witness is the moment people realize something is seriously wrong with this person and they run. My ex would be clueless, CLUELESS as to why people wanted nothing to do with us (him). I was alienated from my friends to match his friendlessness of course but that’s another story.
I have struggled so long with having had an Nmom and finding I had developed some of those traits after a lifetime of being isolated w/her. I say isolated with her bc everyone else left. Older sibling, dad, grandparents. Sibling cut her (and me ) loose and became quite successful.
Before I understood what was happening, I looked back at my foolish but sincere passionate life and realized it was a fake life based in confusion. My life lacks meaning. I worry that I am irreparably narcissistic yet have awareness of it. I acted out codependency for decades but didn’t realize it. My mother is controlling, cold, and domineering, and I am so ashamed that I let it happen, but I see now why it did happen.
I am determined to more fully heal from this, but at 60 it gets daunting surveying the wreckage- all the self sabotage, shame, limitation, failures. I see how I repeatedly messed things up and feel to be simultaneously the bad guy and the good guy- bc my intentions were good but the behavior I was modeling and reacting to from a young age was immature. Reading what I now just wrote, it seems like an echo chamber of negative commentary which is destructive.
Thanks for your insight, it’s helped me go no contact over time w/Nmom.
The acceptance is the key. Even when you have understood, even when you know, whe you are 100% aware, it's so awful that you refuse to accept what they are. For me, I needed a total metaphysic reboot. To accept, you need to change your conception of the whole world. There are non-humans with a human appearance. Some are sadistic and it's less rare than you think. There are 2 different species in the human kind. It's mind blowing but once you ave accepted that, you can accept "your" narc is one of them, like in the Brian de Palma movie called "They live". This channel is like the glasses in the movie. Yes. They live and it's horrible.
What about people who got better themselves, mitigating their own narcissistic behaviour somehow?
@@flaviovms People who get better over time were probably not narcissists to begin with.
They are some with traits but not the full disorder. But you can't say before they change and persist. Protect yourself is your first duty. @@flaviovms
Redemption is very rare. It exists but it's like a miracle. @@flaviovms
Yupp, their perspective is reality. Yours is "detached from reality"
The narc broke your leg but if you bring it up, they would think it ludicrous to mention it due to the potential shame they might feel. Golden ✌️ 💯 facts
I wonder if we need a new vocabulary to describe these people because terms like "self-centered" and "selfish" really do not capture the extent of the traits.
Maybe chronic self-absorption and pathological selfishness?
Pathologically self-focused, maybe?
@@thelittleshamanhealing Yes, or "exclusively self-focused".
Self-obsessed.
Seems like we resist reality because all of us had in the past at least one narcissistic behaviour, and life pushed the right buttons, so we got rid of it. Now we try finding a way to discover a healing method! Something less susceptible to luck or randomness. Maybe one day the technology will be available!
And they're bringing all of us with them.
I see them as partly severely underdeveloped. There is a lawyer Rebecca Zung who says in her youtube channel that there is research which shows that the limbic system in the brain is underdeveloped and ever time they go into survivalmode (which is often) the limbic system takes over. Have you heard about this and if so what is your opinion?
May the Lord help these lost souls 🙏
If not demons what they are then
Demons is what they are.
Thank You For 🔯
Your Service 🌞🌈
Allah Hu AUM ❤️🔥
Everything youve said is 1000% accurate!!
We, who deal with Narcs. should never, ever forget the horrific murder of PLAYBOY BUNNY : Dorothy Stratton. Her husband the ultimate control freak . DOrothy Stratton had no lessons in any of thie Personality Disorder. I had no idea how dangerous Narcs were. None at all until I began to learn these lessons of the Narc. This is all so damaging and heartbreaking for al involved.
tHEY DO NOT CARE BECAUSE THEY CANNOT CARE. They do NOT have any level of appreciation of how thier weird behaviours affect others. Then if the weird behaviours DO NOT ELICIT the expected response thye get very, very angry. It's like the Narc. wants the disgust, the anger, the hurt to pour forth so they feel something about themselves. So bizarre.
Much greatitud thank you.
Namaste 🙏💖🌍🙏
Thanks!
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you find it helpful.
@@thelittleshamanhealing You are welcome Sindelle!
Why is Narcissism so common these days? Or has it always been this way?
What’s the reactionary feeling they’re trying to create in themselves?
It depends on the situation. Usually it would be a reacrion to counter a negative feeling. For example if they are feeling powerless, they may attempt to control or bully someone to feel powerful. Etc.
@@thelittleshamanhealingit’s interesting that being ignored is so painful to them they will stop communicating because it isn’t working but carry on other stuff
I've listened to your podcasts for as long as I've been aware of my spouses covert narc personality (3+ years). As an experienced gray-rocker now this thought occurred to me. I may just be crazy from dealing with all this but I have to ask. Have you come in contact with people who got so comfortable and good at gray rocking, they actually started playing offense instead of defense? They, in a humane way of course (because they posses empathy), used the obvious weaknesses of their partner to get what they wanted accomplished? If such rare people exist, you could coin a new term and help them get more efficient in their offense. Guess I'm just looking for the silver lining. Thank-you for what you do!
No empathy....not human.....period......they are like an alligator.....
Thank you very much for talking about this, Little Shaman. Question: If a person doesn't have the self awareness to realize how they are coming across to another person, how can you know if it is due to the narcissistic lack of self-awareness/external locus of control you described or someone who is on the autism spectrum? Is there a way to know the difference?
Excellent question
it can be both. I'm not saying that it's the usual case at all, but autistic folks can have personality disorder.
I was thinking that as well since I was just watching a video of autistic people describing what they experience and how they can be perceived negatively.
Thing is, maybe there is a theoretical difference, but at the end of the day, you'll have to deal with it the same way.
@@flaviovms Not sure about that haha, autistic people aren't trying to extinguish the light of your soul.
nothing like a narcissist to show you your own low self worth.
I've been seeing it as wild animals who cannot be tamed. Perhaps insightful traits like empathy and understanding of cause and effect are functions of more highly-developed and complex brain structures which is a primary differentiation between domesticated animals, including humans, and wild or feral animals.
Growing up in a society challenges us to develop such brain structures, like building muscle through exercise, and lacking these capacities simply reflects an underdeveloped brain, or rather a more natural, simpler brain that simply hasn't been nurtured to function on levels higher than primal instincts.
Maybe they are blocked from developing these higher-level ways of thinking by their fear of being exposed as naturally-flawed human beings just like the rest of us. Maybe we all start out in this simpler state and the key to maturing into more sophisticated and civilized thinking is whether we have the insight to understand that being flawed is ok and natural and everybody else is just as flawed as us, and having the courage to accept it. When we make a choice to humble ourselves to our flawed humanity, only then can we start growing better than our primal instincts and developing higher intellect. People who achieve this make it such an everyday part of life that they forget they too once faced the dilemma of coming to grips with their flawed humanity in early childhood and fail to understand that some people just can't do it and spend their lives hung up on it. Don't see that they've been working that muscle and how strong it's become relative to those who don't exercise it.
We don't punish wild and feral animals for their inability to function in civilized society, but we do punish narcissists for their inability to do so. Maybe they should be viewed in the same way we view wild animals, which is mitigating the danger by staying clear of them, and certainly not taking them inside and expecting them to be tame. Think of when wild animals get hurt or stuck and you try to help them. They don't know you're trying to help them so they get dangerously defensive as you try to rescue them. That's how to handle a narcissist.
They're like wild animals taken indoors and told to act civilized. They can't figure out how to do it and are freaking out over a lifetime of everybody getting so mad at them for it. It's no wonder they're paranoid and defensive. They don't belong indoors, so to speak, yet are forced to live in civilized society and constantly punished for being unable to do so. We really are being unfair to them--by demanding wild animals act civilized.
Well, yeah, except we have animal control to get rid of feral animals. There is no such thing to get rid of a narcissist. ETA: There is but it’s not socially acceptable.
In other words, just cuz you put a litter box in the room with those wild animals doesn't mean he is gonna use it. I hope your perspective on N has helped you maintain your own sanity.
Except that dogs have empathy and ‘see’ you.
@@fainitesbarley2245 I agree. Which is why I'm careful to put humans in the same category as all animals because conscience is not a strictly human trait. Some animals have it and some don't, including humans. Some of us are intellectually civilized and some are intellectually feral.
Narcs punish us for not thinking how they want us to think😢😮❤❤❤
And they're bringing all of us with them.