"Emotional Tsunami" - I don't think I've ever heard a more accurate description. I often use the word "overwhelmed" but it falls short of how debilitating these numerous emotions actually are.
Hi Candice, you may also want to check our video on 2 Reasons Why You Should Care About Your Emotions at ua-cam.com/video/cMfQSYDrSm8/v-deo.html. In this video, we cover the 2 main reasons why you should care about your emotions including their influence and their impact.
When someone or a thought, triggers me, I feel overwhelmed, mentally drained, exhausted. I can't shake off the feeling that I'll probably die alone. Nobody will ever put up with this shit
Anyone cry really easily? I feel like my whole life I fear confrontation because no matter what I will cry. I notice there is a difference between myself and the average person. 💕
That's because we're not learning how to analyse and validating our feeling its just feels to much for us. Just remember whatever you feel is valid that is ok. Now to react, first we need to think before react.
Pauline, I'm so ashamed of how I am crying all the time. Mostly, when I'm having thoughts of family who never saw me as anything but a cry baby and trouble maker. Attention seeker, etc. Always telling me to STOP being so sensitive, STOP CRYING, It's not that bad, or it's alright, thoughts can't hurt you! That's a lie! I'm crying now writing this now
I cry at the least little thing everyday. Whenever I feel questioned, unheard, put on the spot, definitely when I'm feeling overwhelmed or anxious. The worst is trying to discuss my thoughts and feelings with my therapist, daughter or best friend (ex-husband). I can't stop feeling like I'll never be able to have a conversation about myself to anyone. So that's led me to stop going around strangers (out in public) unless necessary, but never discussing my real personal life or issues. I have no one left to talk to about anything that really bothers me. I feel ashamed about sharing all the time with my ex and some things with my adult child. They don't want to nor need to worry about me. I want to be mean and hateful like so many people have been to me. Acting like I could care less about what's being said or done to me. It would be so much easier to live life.
May b do na the MBTI personality test . See what you come up b with and see if thats you . Will make sense and hopefully give you some good food for thought
I’m showing my boyfriend this. I struggle with the tsunami emotions when I’m feeling “insulted” in my head and I hate it so much. I know better and I know he doesn’t mean to hurt ME and it’s not a personal attack... maybe just constructive criticism taken the wrong way. Ugh it’s rough but he’s a patient guy and I’m very lucky.
This might be off topic but I've been reading research that says for women who experience PMDD and BPD, their BPD symptoms will be much worse during this time (around 10-7 days before a period). I just wanted to put that out there in case it might be helpful to someone.
I have BPD & I've personally noticed a connection with my mental health worsening in the time frame before my cycle begins. I feel a sense of relief after my period starts and for a few days after my cycle I feel leveled out/ level headed/ somewhat normal.. If that makes sense? So really I only have a few days out of a month that I feel like a fully functional human. I always wish that feeling would last but it doesn't. The rollercoaster starts right back up. It's exhausting.
I absolutely loathe when people minimizes the validity of my feelings. I try to use the skills I have picked up from DBT and Anger Management. This week, I have attempted to address what is a very valid issue of lack of communication and disrespect. I kept being put off and did give space, and attempted to address it in a non confrontational way, but got put off and it felt very invalidated. I made it 5 days before ripping into the person who rebuffed me and cut really deep. The next day, I am so embarrassed and remorseful. I am sure that friendship is unsalvageable at this point. I have been in bed crying all day hating that I'm like this.
Its not tour fault the person disregarded your emotions. You had every reason to blow up after multiple attempts to say something. Don't hate yourself just because this person didn't respect you.
My triggers are when the guy I am dating is checking out other women in front of me, when I am criticized or put-down and disrespected in any other way. My physical symptoms are I feel my heart racing and a heaviness. My mental symptoms are anger, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, rage, uneasiness, unable to calm down, racing thoughta, mood swings and unable to sit still.
Sandra DiBiaso - are you sure he’s doing that? I used to be with a guy with bpd and he would create those types of situations totally in his head - and then blame me. It was ridiculous.
This brings up an interesting topic, I think. In the past I dated some people who weren't always that kind and I let them off the hook because I thought it was probably my distorted perceptions and not accurate. But in other relationships there were times when it definitely was my distorted perceptions and they weren't doing anything wrong. It made it very hard to trust myself to judge whether someone was treating me right. That has gotten easier but it took a lot of work.
@@kindnessreminder I can totally relate to what you're saying; but I haven't found a way to trust myself; any tips or insights based on your experience?
Sandra DiBiaso it happens to me too!! I start to tremble and shake and stuff can’t control my breathing and it makes me feel crazy and he thinks I’m just “jealous” but idk how to explain that it’s deeper
I've watched many of your videos before but literally am doing a netflix like binge. This is probably also my first youtube comment ever but I really respect the way you approach bpd and it's comorbidities. With so much stigma on our shoulders even by professionals it's heart warming to watch someone who obviously is passionate about their profession and also treats us (the borderlines) with kindness, educating and factual information. I currently admin three bpd groups and making a bpd website hub of info (included many shares to your videos) lol, to help people, well hopefully to have not feel one minute of the suffering I've lived with. I've been through the wringer in a subpar public health system with the list of illnesses I've found myself with.,,,so if one person can be helped brilliant. Anyway got a lifetime subscriber, it's dedicated and non judgemental people like yourself that gives hope.
So many UA-camrs do a great job describing BPD and where it comes from and how it manifests, but you are the only one I’ve really found who provides ways to cope. I appreciate your videos so much ❤️
I 100% support the suggestion of writing it out. I write letters to people who upset me without giving it to the person. Gah, I wish I had done that this week.
I feel like most of my Turmoil are stemming from powerlessness as I did not have voice and choice in very long time. I will try to apply some of what you suggested. Side note, I really like your background
I was thinking of being an organic toothpaste, I'm thinking and orange box, and I'm so over peppermint so let's make it aniseed flavour. It can't be too cheap and not too expensive. And a chemical free packaging Anyone want to buy.... ? All my love to you Ohhh and Mr Fox was that an isle of window seat? From your friend in Australia... Perfect video thank you.
Yep! I'm so empty and lonely, isolated, no friends or family trying to raise 2 boys on my own, not working etc. I'm in a constant state of emotional turmoil that I've now completely physically and mentally shut down. Can't even leave the house due to paranoia. I'm experiencing extreme anhedonia. After watching this I'm going to go get out of the house and try a little walk. Have to push myself for my boys. Thanks Dr. Fox 👍
I’m so glad to have language to put to what I’m feeling. I’ve been calling these emotional turmoils breakdowns because I didn’t know what else to call them. Thank you!
I watch your videos every day. Sixteen years ago, when I was 21, I was diagnosed with BPD when I was in the Marine Corps. I am pretty much the poster child for the disorder since I have every symptom and my actions and history only prove it. As far as I can remember, even before my diagnosis, I had all the signs and symptoms of BPD. Fast forward until a few months ago, at 37 years old and a very destructive history and a tremendous amount of loss due to my decision making, mostly with intimate relationships, I have decided to learn all I need to learn about BPD and seek treatment. I cannot find a therapist that's available and I'm on a waiting list, so in the meantime I ordered your workbook and watch your videos all the time. I didn't realize the severity of this disorder and I let it go... It's gotten to the point where it's ruined my life and the lives of other people by the hurts and chaos I created in their lives. I will never use this disorder as a crutch and blame it for any of the decisions I made in my life, BPD or not, I accept full responsibility for the where I ended up in life and the lives I hurt along the way. However, by me letting it go, it has caused me to make my life and lives of other people very difficult. I just want to let you know that all you're doing for us, the one's that feel as though we're always fighting this internal battle alone... The constant war we fight every day in our hearts, you know and understand and encourage us that there is hope and we can control it. I lost everything, but your insight and knowledge you're sharing with all of us with BPD has been helping me tremendously. I know there's no cure for this disorder, but I've finally gotten to the point in my life where I want BPD to be apart of me... And not me be apart of it. I just wanted to say thank you for helping so many of us out that are just looking for answers and to finally be in control of BPD and our lives. Once again, thank you for being so self less and doing what you do for so many of us.
M.VanFleet.84, Can you share with me how you have been able to not blame your BPD for the bad decisions and things you have either done or still do? I am about to turn 50 in a few weeks and I was only diagnosed about 4 years ago. I have a nurse practitioner who prescribes meds, and a therapist I talk to for 15 minutes every 2 weeks, (Government facility on a Grant), so I have only the internet and books to get good information about my disease. How are you not angry and how do you seriously not blame a disorder you didn't know you had for being a tornado of devastation to your life? Thanks
@@kellimihalic116 Hi Kelli, I apologize for my late response. I'm not sure if there's a way I can personally message you on here or just give you my response on here. First, find out what your subtype is; mine is attachment. Looking back at my history and my pattern, that's definitely my issue. Then I look back at the types of people I have allowed into my life and let me put it kindly, they were by no means the type of people anyone should have in their lives. They were demons in the flesh. I always went feelings first with everything in my life and always ignored any signs that these were not good people (thinking this will get better, but it never does). I also made major life choices and commitments out of impulse that were by no means the best for me; all because I didn't know who I truly was and with relationships, I wanted that bottomless pit in my stomach to be fulfilled. I also never saw the big picture of the huge decisions I was making that affected my life and future drastically. I've also learned that no human being can fill that void in your heart. After my last heartbreak and loss over a year ago (it was a blessing) I chose to break my pattern, learn to be alone, and allow myself to grieve out the heartbreak, and get myself into healthy behaviors. I wrote down my patterns of the types of people I attract (all Narcissists. Borderlines attract Narcissists for some reason) so I started studying narcissism. Even though BPD has been apart of my life for as long as I can remember, I was still responsible enough to make my own decisions and I can't blame a disorder for that. It all comes down to a choice basically. You're not crazy, you are loveable, you do have a lot to offer, and you do have worth. Borderlines are people that aren't complete. We love hard and it's always the wrong people... All because we don't wait. There is a piece in our lives that didn't develop because of trauma we've experienced. Once you know your enemy (BPD) you learn to govern the disorder and not the other way around, you will finally begin life. In any area in our life long journey, we need to give things time. Our views of love and relationships are by no means what real love is. Find out who and what you really are and stick with it no matter how you feel. For example, I love to read the Bible, play bass, and box. I was once a competitive boxer 15 years ago (I had 40 fights), so I decided to get back into that and stick with that regardless of my age or my "feelings". I carry a ton of anger, especially from the people in my history, but you have to take responsibility for who you allowed into your life and move forward. Those people will not change, but you can and you will; but it's up to you. Find your toxic pattern and learn from it. Surround yourself with the right people and please... Take your time. Do not be transparent right away because people will use any information they have about you against you; especially a narcissist, they are not your friend and will use a manipulation tactic called leveling (bringing up your past) against you and no matter what you'll always be the villain. Your life is not over. Take the time to truly find yourself; find what you like, make some goals, and never lose sight or stop until you get there. Learn to BE ALONE. When you're unhealthy mentally, you'll just keep repeating your pattern with toxic relationships. Not sure if I answered any questions. Maybe personal message me if you're able to.
@@M.VanFleetI.. am amazed by your post. It's so crazy and amazing how understanding and insightful you talk about your bpd. I read in a previous comment that you are still waiting for therapy, but it seems to me that you have been through it for a long time. I'm kind of amazed and I say to myself - it's really on me, right - from time to time - I've been working for decades and at the same time I haven't achieved such a shift as you? 😏 What does that say about me?
@@M.VanFleetAnd the second thing that interested me - that we often end up in a relationship with a narcissistic person. How is it possible? I've been going through a very difficult breakup for several months now and it's completely destroyed me mentally. I've never really been at such a low point before. I also don't understand that in the first years I didn't see his manipulation, lies, fraud at all. Just appalling stuff. I have bpd of course because of a bad childhood, but the way this person masterfully, purposefully and callously played with my mind was basically encouraging me to kill myself. I have never experienced so much hatred, pain, contempt in my life. And what I am most afraid of is that it has disturbed me (an already disturbed personality) in such a way that I will not be able to heal myself. My thinking, self-worth, faith, reasoning, thoughts are heavily polluted by all those bad words. I also feel like I can't be helped because those around me can't understand how deeply it has affected me when they say "cough on him" etc. It definitely needs a video for those of us suffering from narcissistic relationship toxicity. I also can't really find anything on the topic of emotional pain in bpd due to emotional abuse. Mostly UA-cam will generate a video on how "normal" people are supposed to protect themselves from bpd. What is completely missing are videos about what, why, how to live with it. For me, this is probably the biggest topic regarding BPD. Emotional/mental suffering.
Thank you so much Dr. Fox for this topic, it's literally the first time I feel like someone is talking about what I'm going through without stigmatization, blame, and at the same time you're bringing concrete solutions. What I personally perceive as the worst and double damage is that after this emotional tsunami subsides, after this exhausting event subsides, we remain misunderstood by those around us, rejected and condemned by those around us, we lose friends, partners. We end up believing that we are the problem and treat ourselves in the worst way. And at the same time, what we are constantly longing for and thirsty for is acceptance, understanding, compassion. So thank you for speaking openly and non-judgmentally to us. I consider this topic to be the most important for therapy.
I am having an episode for the past few days. Cut my hair off (trich) I’d say it’s severe on the verge of extreme. I bought your book. I’ve been diagnosed w bpd depression anxiety adhd bipolar ocd haha. Ive been thinking bout hurting myself but i think of my mother and that’s how i stop it. I talk to everyone i can. I also act outwardly and harm others. I feel im stuck with this flawed, undesirable personality. It feels really hopeless. I can’t hold a job. Im a felon. I’m unpredictable and therefore unreliable. I’m really lucky to have my family because they understand me and are able to help support me. The government doesnt give a shit about bpd. Cant even get dbt covered by my insurance. Anyway. Thanks for the vid. Ur a helpful hand
This is great. I've actually tallked about the tsunami/avalanche feeling when trying to express how I feel but of course, nobody gets it. Also the toothpaste analogy is brilliant, like everything is trapped inside and being squeezed but s lid is stopping it coming out. Brilliant. Dr fox really gets it.
Thank you. I never listened as a kid. Now that I’m legally an adult, I’m trying to beat this storm each day without a therapist or any tools because I never listened. You helped me a lot.
Dr Fox is so accessible, I love how succinct and focused these videos are, thank you so much. they're great for dealing with my own BPD and for sharing with those close to me
This has been extremely helpful. I've improved a lot since I started therapy, but so far I hadn't been helped yet to find a way to avoid these emotional turmoils to happen. I felt them coming and couldn't prevent them. Now I've learned new strategies. Thank you.
When I feel like I’m in an emotional tsunami I tend to starve myself and restrict my eating even more than I regularly do. I have no idea how to combat these feelings when it triggers a whole other problem in itself that oddly makes me feel in control and proud of myself.
It's obvious that you do these videos because you truly care about others & want to help people understand themselves & live their best life. Thank you for these, Dr. Fox. I've been binge watching your videos-- they are so helpful & informative! ❤️
Dr. Fox, Thank you for your hope for BPD patients and families. You are a blessing and more medical practitioners should only be as compassionate as you are to others. I only wish you lived in New Jersey so my son could meet with you. Maybe we should come to Texas. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all of your videos of hope.
30min ago...I felt hot shaky wide eyes. Really concerned about the future and how I need to stay firm with boundaries. Anxious scared. The rush has passed. 20min passed beginning of event. I'm sad crying some. I feel betrayed. Your video was 1st on UA-cam. Thank you for helping me through this
Thanks for this compassionate wonderful video. I believe this video will help me to watch repeatedly. I experience this turmoil. It is awful to say the least. To have anything to help is going to be incredible. You are a blessing. Thank you!
It's really helpfull, it really is Dr. Fox. This video couldn't actually come at a better time for me. I just pre order you Workbook on BPD. Anxious to start working with it. Greetings to you nd keep doing your videos.!!!!
will try that too thankyou so much it is much helpful now i used to go in turmoil stage even after standard triggers as it got mixed with emotional buttons but from now onwards i can identify them and hopefully will manage myself to go in to that turmoil of emotions
Thanks for your help.My companion and I play cards.Because of videos like yours I'm making baby steps to childhood abandonment issues.She doesn't understand the rage if I lose.. It's real and my default from 1955! Seventy and understand Forgiving and Humbleness.Cant give up if I default.It certainly pays to have your partner , therapist and the ones you love work with you.How cool would it be if people weren't shamed and could work on stuff together because we all have self work to do if we truly want.inner. peace ✌️
I really like your work, I have learned a lot. You said something that really clicked with me, and I know it is True. My vision gets narrowed, it gets naroowed, after a few days everything is fine, answers come, I understand, my vision opens up. Soooooo, I think next time my buttons get pushed I am 'like a mantra' tell myself "my vision is narrow right now, I don't see the full picture' I rhink it is really going to help me separate from the buttons getting activated In fact, going to practice it even in meditation, so I know I can call on it when I need to. I really think this will help me..... lets see
Thank you Dr. Daniel Fox sooo sooo much for caring enough to make these videos!!!! 💚The videos you make on mental health are the only thing that have helped me get through my emotions.
Thank you for creating this channel and informing the world about this disorder. I was just diagnosed with it recently and your videos are SO helpful, so thank you 🙏🏻
I'm so thankful for this channel. 🖤🖤🖤 I know I'll always struggle but now I can process the management of my emotional turmoil so I can prevent negative consequences. It's the negative consequences that I want to grow out of. I've been feeling like w/bpd I'll never be happy or be able to function normally.
I have watched several of these videos and can usually relate to them. This video is literally like if you had just sent me a synopsis of my therapy session today. It really helped having it reworded and reinforced like this. Along with the breathing techniques he taught me today, writing down my triggers is my homework for myself!
I'm extremely grateful for your videos and support. I have been in a marriage with a narcissist or possible sociopath for decades. 3 adult daughters and grandchildren. It breaks my heart that I stayed and watching them suffer from the issues we all have now combined with their challenges. My therapist told me its like getting a diagnosis of a slow torturous extremely painful cancer. Dosen't leave me with any hope. Thank you for your kindness and help for so many. 🙏🏼
what i have noticed in my 2 years of treating bpd on my own is that there are "long-term emotional trends" and "short term emotional fluxes". what i mean by that is, that there are some triggers (usually more long lasting example-living/family situation, world situation) that dictate the long term trajectory of your "baseline flux" (i say this since i feel that my "baseline" is variable), and with the short term fluxes i think most of us are aware of what they are (specific momentary triggers). i have found it very helpful to be aware of my long term trend i.e be aware of what my surrounding will dictate as norms, so i can prepare proactively for the severity and trajectory of the short term fluxes. for example, when visiting family im sure of a downwards trend in fluxes, so i plan my stay to be as short as possible, plan in advance meetings with family members and friends, and feel out how much i will tolerate. while on that note, ive noticed that the further i build the sense of what i tolerate, the better off i am (thank you for the affirmation of that strategy Mr.Fox)
Thank you so much, Doctor Fox. This video's brought hope to my life. Living with BPD it's not easy. But recovery, development skills to deal with all emotional turmoil and experience a healthy life is possible. For me, for everybody! Thank you for showing me this. Awesome video!
Your videos are outstanding. You demonstrate great insight and perception and you enunciate the concepts, ideas and strategies eloquently and economically. You must be helping people enormously. Thanks for sharing your knowledge in the manner that you do. You’re a good human being
And you’re NOT a good human being Graham Thomas! You are a serial cheating loser and liar that emotionally abused and took advantage of someone with BPD!!
2/28/24 - though this vid is from Mar 26, 2019 (5yrs) For 5days I've felt the emotional turmoil Boulder crushing pressing weighing completely on me I got to know my triggers buttons And felt the explosive negative squeezing Thank you for conversating explain talking about BPD I am journaling what has triggered and pushed my buttons I do gym exercise 6days, 1.5 to 2hrs This helps get me out of myself Once again thank you for the insightfulness
I have CPTSD and yes I did have emotional turmoil and overwhelmed me. I learn that it's come from my childhood trauma and abuse memories but it's very good I am glad I can experience it because you know what, before I can able to feel this, I was not even able to feel or always feel like I can't understand emotions and didn't know what I feel
i always freak out and push them away then cry because i pushed them away. and they get tired of it and leave it always is my fear of them leaving that’s makes them actually leave they liked me for who i was before i became obsessed
Squeezing...that's a great description of how I feel physically when I'm being overwhelmed with negative emotions..I've always struggled to put this into words..thanks for your helpful videos
Writing down triggers is a great idea. This would help me a lot. When I write stuff down, it helps with "head hamsters". I think in a more linear way. Thank you, Dr Fox!
With me it's usually frustration that immediately turns to anger. Usually to regain control I goto our really small bathroom downstairs and I try to calm down by splashing cold water in my face,and pray for help calming down.
Is destroying important relationships a form of self harm? Because that seems to be the "outcome" for me when I slip into emotional dysregulation. My carotid begins to ache (trauma related). I am diagnosed officially with PTSD (knife attack) but am not totally at ease with the diagnosis myself as I continue to grow and groan sometimes in self awareness. Not to mention all the other traumas along the way and there were many. Where I Ilive we essentially have a "one stop mental health shop" (not knocking it as I am on my third dbt stint). There is pretty much only talk therapy with ( thank you Marsha Linehan) DBT. I think I need work with core content issues. CAN I do that by actually using worksheets like your own to start working on how for example I am communicating with my inner child?. And how to build healthier forms of self talk..My therapist is young. Is it unreasonable to think my therapist could help me in this journey while (herself) being on a learning curve? I guess only she could answer that one with any accuracy. Us Canadians eh? So many questions...so many issues.
I am getting more information here on UTube with you, than I ever got in counseling once a week for years. My 'doctor ' was going higher in her studies and moving up the ladder. 45 minutes of asking how I feel, with no feed back was so disappointing. She was learning while I was over medicated. I stopped going and began my own research. Now I am trying to decide if the meds will help or hinder. I am working on my self and working to understand what I must Stop doing and looking for the ' better' way to get alone with others.
I’m not sure if you’ve talked about this but could you do a video on the flip side of emotional turmoil? I used to be extremely emotional and reactive but for the past year I’ve experienced chronic emptiness & a general lack of ability to feel anything but mild anxiety or frustration. I’m not sure if there’s a reason for those feelings so it’d be great to hear your thoughts
I ROAM ALONE it’s definitely wayyyy easier to cope with than the emotional extremes, but it makes it difficult to enjoy anything or have meaningful relationships. I wish I could be somewhere in the middle rather than too emotional or too empty
Got a good example of extreme. That one time when my BF was at a bar with friends and was supposed to be back at 9, well of course he wasn't. So I called at 9 to see what's up and got told "We'll be back soon", which I interpreted as "I don't care that I'm not respecting my word and I'll just have fun with other people while you're miserable at home all alone". So what did I do? I said "okay! see you then!" and then proceeded to dismantling our sectional couch in order to build a barricade in front of our apartment's door in order to prevent anyone from entering. You wanted to stay out? Well enjoy your night out babe! BTW, I do realize how childish and crazy that is and I don't feel good about it. But gotta admit, the banging on the door and the ensuing "WTF" were priceless.
I have a Q. How important is it for a person who finds themselves on the Borderline spectrum, to if possible, understand what is the root cause, the source, of their condition. How beneficial is that knowledge and understanding, in assisting the healing process?
Hi Dr. Fox, thanks so much for this valuable resource. Some of my personal triggers include difficulties in the work place when I don't feel valued or accepted. This typically leads to my maladaptive attempts to regain control of the situation. I've identified a pattern of inappropriate behaviors that I use as coping mechanisms such as voicing my discontent immediately without much thought to my surroundings or unintentionally stating hurtful comments towards the 'offender.' I just watched your other video on Emotional Reasoning which I learned some important steps there as well. I'm seeking some work-place friendly coping skills for these tougher in the moment situations, please!
Dr. Fox, It would be helpful with some of your videos if you could have someone acting out the topic especially on this video. It can be difficult to practice these techniques if you cant identify or relate to practicing these techniques especially if you mostly in a dissociative or disconnected state. Thank you
I also struggle with schizoaffective disorder bipolar type and alot of depression. I pull away from anyone in my life when it gets bad, not to harm others but to recover quicker. I still havnt found anyone who can understand what im dealing with, so when it gets bad, my experience so far is the pick up your bootstraps/buckup whammy. The hallucinations get bad i really withdraw so i can work through it without being put down, told i need to be in a mental hospital, and reduce anxiety before hypervigilance takes over which prolongs recovery. When im extremely depressed i try to reach out by hanging out with those in my life doing what activity they want or just watching a movie with them or talking about all sorts of stuff. Havnt had luck with that either, get blown off alot. Then when manic everything is peachy from them. I get the comment "why cant you be like this all the time, its all in your head" alot. Drives me crazy because i know this cycle do whats within my ability to, for lack of a better word, calm before i go manic and reach out for emotional support before i become suicidal. Throw in bpd discouraged and adhd and its quite a rollercoaster. Especially since ive been on every antidepressant, mood stabilizer, and antisychotic available with no improvement and other treatments havnt helped. So maybe now you might be able to see how a helper acting out topics could help others and myself who have alot going on.
This so resonates and it absolutely intensifies for me during PMS and I just constantly feel slighted and that people are way nicer to everyone else in their life than they are to me. I’m a very soft-spoken person and struggle with boundaries anyway, but the emotional tsunami during PMS often begins with feeling like I’m not being treated correctly. So prone to headaches and physical soreness during this time. It’s like this sense of panic along with desperation for a person (often my bf) cycling with anger over the fact that I do way more for him than he does for me. I see BPD as being misunderstood as a disorder of selfish and manipulative people and all I can say is that in my case, the emotional tsunami centers around a problem that is the opposite of that-that my relationships are so unbalanced and I do it all
Hi I feel this. I have bpd and i found a supplement called DIM that helps with emotions i try to take it every day but norm try to take it the week before and week of. it helps cramps be a little less bad but its the emotional rediculousness it helps me with i think it helps the body metabolize the estrogen or something idk im not a dr. i just noticed it helped me idk if anyone else has ever used it with bpd and noticed any difference
I am internal. Keep my mouth shut, Do as little damage as posible. Just get through it with th tools that I have. Mindfulness is big. Cycling is excellent. Mostly I just keep to myself because I know that is not the truth it is just passing storm.
Thank you very much for the video. I really needed this today as I've just had a conversation with my husband, some 'buttons' as I will now refer to them, were hit, and I went mental at him. Your videos have truly changed how I view my BPD so thank you from the bottom of my heart. Question though, how do you distinguish the difference between a mild, moderate, severe and extreme emotional turmoil tsunami? I have extreme written down as self harm, throwing things, destroying furniture etc, but I don't know how to work out what a mild tsunami would look like, for example. So the argument I just had, thanks to your videos, I quickly realised after I hung up what I'd done because I noticed the tension in my chest amongst other things and then worked to calm myself down. Would that be a mild one as I was able to calm myself within about 15 minutes and didn't engage in any destructive behaviour despite having overwhelming urges to do so, like punching a wall etc? Or is it severe because I knew I wasn't in a good place to have the conversation, felt myself getting worked up but couldn't control my surface behaviours when I was on the phone? Or is it dependant on how intense the physical and mental sensations are, and thats how the severity of the emotional turmoil is worked out? Sorry for the rambling!
"Emotional Tsunami" - I don't think I've ever heard a more accurate description. I often use the word "overwhelmed" but it falls short of how debilitating these numerous emotions actually are.
Hi Candice, you may also want to check our video on 2 Reasons Why You Should Care About Your Emotions at ua-cam.com/video/cMfQSYDrSm8/v-deo.html.
In this video, we cover the 2 main reasons why you should care about your emotions including their influence and their impact.
When someone or a thought, triggers me, I feel overwhelmed, mentally drained, exhausted. I can't shake off the feeling that I'll probably die alone. Nobody will ever put up with this shit
…I feel you smh
Anyone cry really easily? I feel like my whole life I fear confrontation because no matter what I will cry. I notice there is a difference between myself and the average person. 💕
Yes! I cry very easily… my family always looked at it as a sign of weaknesses. It was so hard …
That's because we're not learning how to analyse and validating our feeling its just feels to much for us. Just remember whatever you feel is valid that is ok. Now to react, first we need to think before react.
Pauline, I'm so ashamed of how I am crying all the time. Mostly, when I'm having thoughts of family who never saw me as anything but a cry baby and trouble maker. Attention seeker, etc. Always telling me to STOP being so sensitive, STOP CRYING, It's not that bad, or it's alright, thoughts can't hurt you! That's a lie! I'm crying now writing this now
I cry at the least little thing everyday. Whenever I feel questioned, unheard, put on the spot, definitely when I'm feeling overwhelmed or anxious. The worst is trying to discuss my thoughts and feelings with my therapist, daughter or best friend (ex-husband). I can't stop feeling like I'll never be able to have a conversation about myself to anyone. So that's led me to stop going around strangers (out in public) unless necessary, but never discussing my real personal life or issues. I have no one left to talk to about anything that really bothers me. I feel ashamed about sharing all the time with my ex and some things with my adult child. They don't want to nor need to worry about me. I want to be mean and hateful like so many people have been to me. Acting like I could care less about what's being said or done to me. It would be so much easier to live life.
May b do na the MBTI personality test . See what you come up b with and see if thats you . Will make sense and hopefully give you some good food for thought
I’m showing my boyfriend this. I struggle with the tsunami emotions when I’m feeling “insulted” in my head and I hate it so much. I know better and I know he doesn’t mean to hurt ME and it’s not a personal attack... maybe just constructive criticism taken the wrong way. Ugh it’s rough but he’s a patient guy and I’m very lucky.
Lucky you
This might be off topic but I've been reading research that says for women who experience PMDD and BPD, their BPD symptoms will be much worse during this time (around 10-7 days before a period). I just wanted to put that out there in case it might be helpful to someone.
Thank you, i will research this further.
I have PMDD and BPD I spend up to 2 weeks before my period extremely depressed regardless of how well my meds work
Thnkyou for bring this up
I have BPD & I've personally noticed a connection with my mental health worsening in the time frame before my cycle begins. I feel a sense of relief after my period starts and for a few days after my cycle I feel leveled out/ level headed/ somewhat normal.. If that makes sense? So really I only have a few days out of a month that I feel like a fully functional human. I always wish that feeling would last but it doesn't. The rollercoaster starts right back up. It's exhausting.
I can confirm this from personal experience.
This should be taught in school.
Yes
Ohh and perfect timing I was running out if toothpaste. Xxx
And how to do taxes, consent, and proper nutrition 🤷🏽♀️
Not where I went to school. Not enough brain power there to zap a moth.
More specific, public school..
Maybe I would pay attention lol
Depressed anxiety anger and fear all at once some times
Yes. After experiencing this I experienced what is called "dark night of the soul".
I absolutely loathe when people minimizes the validity of my feelings. I try to use the skills I have picked up from DBT and Anger Management. This week, I have attempted to address what is a very valid issue of lack of communication and disrespect. I kept being put off and did give space, and attempted to address it in a non confrontational way, but got put off and it felt very invalidated. I made it 5 days before ripping into the person who rebuffed me and cut really deep. The next day, I am so embarrassed and remorseful. I am sure that friendship is unsalvageable at this point. I have been in bed crying all day hating that I'm like this.
Its not tour fault the person disregarded your emotions. You had every reason to blow up after multiple attempts to say something. Don't hate yourself just because this person didn't respect you.
My triggers are when the guy I am dating is checking out other women in front of me, when I am criticized or put-down and disrespected in any other way. My physical symptoms are I feel my heart racing and a heaviness. My mental symptoms are anger, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, rage, uneasiness, unable to calm down, racing thoughta, mood swings and unable to sit still.
Sandra DiBiaso - are you sure he’s doing that? I used to be with a guy with bpd and he would create those types of situations totally in his head - and then blame me. It was ridiculous.
This brings up an interesting topic, I think. In the past I dated some people who weren't always that kind and I let them off the hook because I thought it was probably my distorted perceptions and not accurate. But in other relationships there were times when it definitely was my distorted perceptions and they weren't doing anything wrong. It made it very hard to trust myself to judge whether someone was treating me right. That has gotten easier but it took a lot of work.
@@kindnessreminder I can totally relate to what you're saying; but I haven't found a way to trust myself; any tips or insights based on your experience?
He's disrespecting you honey, don't blame shitty behaviour of another on your own mental illness. You're allowed to have boundaries.
Sandra DiBiaso it happens to me too!! I start to tremble and shake and stuff can’t control my breathing and it makes me feel crazy and he thinks I’m just “jealous” but idk how to explain that it’s deeper
I've watched many of your videos before but literally am doing a netflix like binge. This is probably also my first youtube comment ever but I really respect the way you approach bpd and it's comorbidities. With so much stigma on our shoulders even by professionals it's heart warming to watch someone who obviously is passionate about their profession and also treats us (the borderlines) with kindness, educating and factual information. I currently admin three bpd groups and making a bpd website hub of info (included many shares to your videos) lol, to help people, well hopefully to have not feel one minute of the suffering I've lived with. I've been through the wringer in a subpar public health system with the list of illnesses I've found myself with.,,,so if one person can be helped brilliant. Anyway got a lifetime subscriber, it's dedicated and non judgemental people like yourself that gives hope.
If only we could chat over a coffee.
I love coffee.
@@DrDanielFox drug of choice. I'm at least made of 75% coffee.
So many UA-camrs do a great job describing BPD and where it comes from and how it manifests, but you are the only one I’ve really found who provides ways to cope. I appreciate your videos so much ❤️
Tsunami is a brilliant way of putting it... this is a brilliant way of describing the feelings...
I 100% support the suggestion of writing it out. I write letters to people who upset me without giving it to the person. Gah, I wish I had done that this week.
@ Amber Anderson : this is brilliant ! Thank you ! 🥀🍁🍄🌹🌻🦋🌼
I feel like most of my Turmoil are stemming from powerlessness as I did not have voice and choice in very long time. I will try to apply some of what you suggested. Side note, I really like your background
Your videos are great and extremely helpful. Also that world map in the background is THE BEST MAP EVER. :)
I was thinking of being an organic toothpaste, I'm thinking and orange box, and I'm so over peppermint so let's make it aniseed flavour.
It can't be too cheap and not too expensive. And a chemical free packaging
Anyone want to buy....
?
All my love to you
Ohhh and Mr Fox was that an isle of window seat?
From your friend in Australia...
Perfect video thank you.
Yep! I'm so empty and lonely, isolated, no friends or family trying to raise 2 boys on my own, not working etc. I'm in a constant state of emotional turmoil that I've now completely physically and mentally shut down. Can't even leave the house due to paranoia. I'm experiencing extreme anhedonia. After watching this I'm going to go get out of the house and try a little walk. Have to push myself for my boys. Thanks Dr. Fox 👍
hey, am going through the same. can we be friends plz whatsapp me on +25413826676
I’m so glad to have language to put to what I’m feeling. I’ve been calling these emotional turmoils breakdowns because I didn’t know what else to call them. Thank you!
I watch your videos every day. Sixteen years ago, when I was 21, I was diagnosed with BPD when I was in the Marine Corps. I am pretty much the poster child for the disorder since I have every symptom and my actions and history only prove it. As far as I can remember, even before my diagnosis, I had all the signs and symptoms of BPD. Fast forward until a few months ago, at 37 years old and a very destructive history and a tremendous amount of loss due to my decision making, mostly with intimate relationships, I have decided to learn all I need to learn about BPD and seek treatment. I cannot find a therapist that's available and I'm on a waiting list, so in the meantime I ordered your workbook and watch your videos all the time. I didn't realize the severity of this disorder and I let it go... It's gotten to the point where it's ruined my life and the lives of other people by the hurts and chaos I created in their lives. I will never use this disorder as a crutch and blame it for any of the decisions I made in my life, BPD or not, I accept full responsibility for the where I ended up in life and the lives I hurt along the way. However, by me letting it go, it has caused me to make my life and lives of other people very difficult. I just want to let you know that all you're doing for us, the one's that feel as though we're always fighting this internal battle alone... The constant war we fight every day in our hearts, you know and understand and encourage us that there is hope and we can control it. I lost everything, but your insight and knowledge you're sharing with all of us with BPD has been helping me tremendously. I know there's no cure for this disorder, but I've finally gotten to the point in my life where I want BPD to be apart of me... And not me be apart of it. I just wanted to say thank you for helping so many of us out that are just looking for answers and to finally be in control of BPD and our lives. Once again, thank you for being so self less and doing what you do for so many of us.
You’re welcome and I wish you well. I’m glad my material is helpful for you.
M.VanFleet.84,
Can you share with me how you have been able to not blame your BPD for the bad decisions and things you have either done or still do? I am about to turn 50 in a few weeks and I was only diagnosed about 4 years ago. I have a nurse practitioner who prescribes meds, and a therapist I talk to for 15 minutes every 2 weeks, (Government facility on a Grant), so I have only the internet and books to get good information about my disease. How are you not angry and how do you seriously not blame a disorder you didn't know you had for being a tornado of devastation to your life? Thanks
@@kellimihalic116 Hi Kelli, I apologize for my late response. I'm not sure if there's a way I can personally message you on here or just give you my response on here. First, find out what your subtype is; mine is attachment. Looking back at my history and my pattern, that's definitely my issue. Then I look back at the types of people I have allowed into my life and let me put it kindly, they were by no means the type of people anyone should have in their lives. They were demons in the flesh. I always went feelings first with everything in my life and always ignored any signs that these were not good people (thinking this will get better, but it never does). I also made major life choices and commitments out of impulse that were by no means the best for me; all because I didn't know who I truly was and with relationships, I wanted that bottomless pit in my stomach to be fulfilled. I also never saw the big picture of the huge decisions I was making that affected my life and future drastically. I've also learned that no human being can fill that void in your heart. After my last heartbreak and loss over a year ago (it was a blessing) I chose to break my pattern, learn to be alone, and allow myself to grieve out the heartbreak, and get myself into healthy behaviors. I wrote down my patterns of the types of people I attract (all Narcissists. Borderlines attract Narcissists for some reason) so I started studying narcissism. Even though BPD has been apart of my life for as long as I can remember, I was still responsible enough to make my own decisions and I can't blame a disorder for that. It all comes down to a choice basically. You're not crazy, you are loveable, you do have a lot to offer, and you do have worth. Borderlines are people that aren't complete. We love hard and it's always the wrong people... All because we don't wait. There is a piece in our lives that didn't develop because of trauma we've experienced. Once you know your enemy (BPD) you learn to govern the disorder and not the other way around, you will finally begin life. In any area in our life long journey, we need to give things time. Our views of love and relationships are by no means what real love is. Find out who and what you really are and stick with it no matter how you feel. For example, I love to read the Bible, play bass, and box. I was once a competitive boxer 15 years ago (I had 40 fights), so I decided to get back into that and stick with that regardless of my age or my "feelings". I carry a ton of anger, especially from the people in my history, but you have to take responsibility for who you allowed into your life and move forward. Those people will not change, but you can and you will; but it's up to you. Find your toxic pattern and learn from it. Surround yourself with the right people and please... Take your time. Do not be transparent right away because people will use any information they have about you against you; especially a narcissist, they are not your friend and will use a manipulation tactic called leveling (bringing up your past) against you and no matter what you'll always be the villain. Your life is not over. Take the time to truly find yourself; find what you like, make some goals, and never lose sight or stop until you get there. Learn to BE ALONE. When you're unhealthy mentally, you'll just keep repeating your pattern with toxic relationships. Not sure if I answered any questions. Maybe personal message me if you're able to.
@@M.VanFleetI.. am amazed by your post. It's so crazy and amazing how understanding and insightful you talk about your bpd. I read in a previous comment that you are still waiting for therapy, but it seems to me that you have been through it for a long time. I'm kind of amazed and I say to myself - it's really on me, right - from time to time - I've been working for decades and at the same time I haven't achieved such a shift as you? 😏 What does that say about me?
@@M.VanFleetAnd the second thing that interested me - that we often end up in a relationship with a narcissistic person. How is it possible? I've been going through a very difficult breakup for several months now and it's completely destroyed me mentally. I've never really been at such a low point before. I also don't understand that in the first years I didn't see his manipulation, lies, fraud at all. Just appalling stuff. I have bpd of course because of a bad childhood, but the way this person masterfully, purposefully and callously played with my mind was basically encouraging me to kill myself. I have never experienced so much hatred, pain, contempt in my life. And what I am most afraid of is that it has disturbed me (an already disturbed personality) in such a way that I will not be able to heal myself. My thinking, self-worth, faith, reasoning, thoughts are heavily polluted by all those bad words. I also feel like I can't be helped because those around me can't understand how deeply it has affected me when they say "cough on him" etc. It definitely needs a video for those of us suffering from narcissistic relationship toxicity. I also can't really find anything on the topic of emotional pain in bpd due to emotional abuse. Mostly UA-cam will generate a video on how "normal" people are supposed to protect themselves from bpd. What is completely missing are videos about what, why, how to live with it. For me, this is probably the biggest topic regarding BPD. Emotional/mental suffering.
Thank you so much Dr. Fox for this topic, it's literally the first time I feel like someone is talking about what I'm going through without stigmatization, blame, and at the same time you're bringing concrete solutions. What I personally perceive as the worst and double damage is that after this emotional tsunami subsides, after this exhausting event subsides, we remain misunderstood by those around us, rejected and condemned by those around us, we lose friends, partners. We end up believing that we are the problem and treat ourselves in the worst way. And at the same time, what we are constantly longing for and thirsty for is acceptance, understanding, compassion. So thank you for speaking openly and non-judgmentally to us. I consider this topic to be the most important for therapy.
I am having an episode for the past few days. Cut my hair off (trich) I’d say it’s severe on the verge of extreme. I bought your book. I’ve been diagnosed w bpd depression anxiety adhd bipolar ocd haha. Ive been thinking bout hurting myself but i think of my mother and that’s how i stop it. I talk to everyone i can. I also act outwardly and harm others. I feel im stuck with this flawed, undesirable personality. It feels really hopeless. I can’t hold a job. Im a felon. I’m unpredictable and therefore unreliable. I’m really lucky to have my family because they understand me and are able to help support me. The government doesnt give a shit about bpd. Cant even get dbt covered by my insurance. Anyway. Thanks for the vid. Ur a helpful hand
You bring hope, thank you.
This is great. I've actually tallked about the tsunami/avalanche feeling when trying to express how I feel but of course, nobody gets it. Also the toothpaste analogy is brilliant, like everything is trapped inside and being squeezed but s lid is stopping it coming out. Brilliant. Dr fox really gets it.
Thank you. I never listened as a kid. Now that I’m legally an adult, I’m trying to beat this storm each day without a therapist or any tools because I never listened. You helped me a lot.
.. you're a good man, thank you Doc.
Last time I felt completely trapped in a baaaaaaaaaad way, I noticed that I was able to distract myself by washing my face and brushing my teeth.
you're a gift!! thank you
I really needed this right now, thank you.
Dr Fox is so accessible, I love how succinct and focused these videos are, thank you so much. they're great for dealing with my own BPD and for sharing with those close to me
This has been extremely helpful. I've improved a lot since I started therapy, but so far I hadn't been helped yet to find a way to avoid these emotional turmoils to happen. I felt them coming and couldn't prevent them. Now I've learned new strategies. Thank you.
When I feel like I’m in an emotional tsunami I tend to starve myself and restrict my eating even more than I regularly do. I have no idea how to combat these feelings when it triggers a whole other problem in itself that oddly makes me feel in control and proud of myself.
Yes me too !
It's obvious that you do these videos because you truly care about others & want to help people understand themselves & live their best life.
Thank you for these, Dr. Fox. I've been binge watching your videos-- they are so helpful & informative!
❤️
I’ve had the toughest time getting help. I am so grateful for your videos. God bless you immensely.
Do an MBTI personality test it may well help b alot . It did me . 😢
Pls do a video on Jealousy and BPD!😚
Thank you for sharing this video. I didn’t know about the scream pillow
Dr. Fox, Thank you for your hope for BPD patients and families. You are a blessing and more medical practitioners should only be as compassionate as you are to others. I only wish you lived in New Jersey so my son could meet with you. Maybe we should come to Texas. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all of your videos of hope.
Thank you Dr. Daniel!
Your videos are calming and give us hope.
Much love to you
30min ago...I felt hot shaky wide eyes. Really concerned about the future and how I need to stay firm with boundaries. Anxious scared.
The rush has passed. 20min passed beginning of event. I'm sad crying some. I feel betrayed.
Your video was 1st on UA-cam. Thank you for helping me through this
I'm glad i get to come back and hear you tell me again. I'm overpowered by emotion right now.
Thanks for this compassionate wonderful video.
I believe this video will help me to watch repeatedly. I experience this turmoil. It is awful to say the least. To have anything to help is going to be incredible.
You are a blessing. Thank you!
I still need to work on identifying my triggers, it seems that my emotions go off randomly without warning.
It's really helpfull, it really is Dr. Fox. This video couldn't actually come at a better time for me. I just pre order you Workbook on BPD. Anxious to start working with it. Greetings to you nd keep doing your videos.!!!!
Dr Fox you are such a kind person. Giving sound practical advise freely.😊
will try that too thankyou so much it is much helpful now i used to go in turmoil stage even after standard triggers as it got mixed with emotional buttons but from now onwards i can identify them and hopefully will manage myself to go in to that turmoil of emotions
Thanks for your help.My companion and I play cards.Because of videos like yours I'm making baby steps to childhood abandonment issues.She doesn't understand the rage if I lose.. It's real and my default from 1955! Seventy and understand Forgiving and Humbleness.Cant give up if I default.It certainly pays to have your partner , therapist and the ones you love work with you.How cool would it be if people weren't shamed and could work on stuff together because we all have self work to do if we truly want.inner.
peace ✌️
I have watched a lot of channels on youtube with this kind of content, and this is probably the one which makes me feel most understood.
This video is great for anyone who is highly emotional - thanks 🙂
I really like your work, I have learned a lot. You said something that really clicked with me, and I know it is True. My vision gets narrowed, it gets naroowed, after a few days everything is fine, answers come, I understand, my vision opens up. Soooooo, I think next time my buttons get pushed I am 'like a mantra' tell myself "my vision is narrow right now, I don't see the full picture' I rhink it is really going to help me separate from the buttons getting activated In fact, going to practice it even in meditation, so I know I can call on it when I need to. I really think this will help me..... lets see
Thank you Dr. Daniel Fox sooo sooo much for caring enough to make these videos!!!! 💚The videos you make on mental health are the only thing that have helped me get through my emotions.
Thank you for creating this channel and informing the world about this disorder. I was just diagnosed with it recently and your videos are SO helpful, so thank you 🙏🏻
I'm so thankful for this channel. 🖤🖤🖤 I know I'll always struggle but now I can process the management of my emotional turmoil so I can prevent negative consequences. It's the negative consequences that I want to grow out of. I've been feeling like w/bpd I'll never be happy or be able to function normally.
I have watched several of these videos and can usually relate to them. This video is literally like if you had just sent me a synopsis of my therapy session today. It really helped having it reworded and reinforced like this. Along with the breathing techniques he taught me today, writing down my triggers is my homework for myself!
I'm extremely grateful for your videos and support. I have been in a marriage with a narcissist or possible sociopath for decades. 3 adult daughters and grandchildren. It breaks my heart that I stayed and watching them suffer from the issues we all have now combined with their challenges. My therapist told me its like getting a diagnosis of a slow torturous extremely painful cancer. Dosen't leave me with any hope. Thank you for your kindness and help for so many. 🙏🏼
I hear you
what i have noticed in my 2 years of treating bpd on my own is that there are "long-term emotional trends" and "short term emotional fluxes". what i mean by that is, that there are some triggers (usually more long lasting example-living/family situation, world situation) that dictate the long term trajectory of your "baseline flux" (i say this since i feel that my "baseline" is variable), and with the short term fluxes i think most of us are aware of what they are (specific momentary triggers). i have found it very helpful to be aware of my long term trend i.e be aware of what my surrounding will dictate as norms, so i can prepare proactively for the severity and trajectory of the short term fluxes. for example, when visiting family im sure of a downwards trend in fluxes, so i plan my stay to be as short as possible, plan in advance meetings with family members and friends, and feel out how much i will tolerate. while on that note, ive noticed that the further i build the sense of what i tolerate, the better off i am (thank you for the affirmation of that strategy Mr.Fox)
Thank you so much, Doctor Fox. This video's brought hope to my life. Living with BPD it's not easy. But recovery, development skills to deal with all emotional turmoil and experience a healthy life is possible. For me, for everybody! Thank you for showing me this. Awesome video!
Thank you for your videos. I was getting anxious about no new video
Your videos are outstanding. You demonstrate great insight and perception and you enunciate the concepts, ideas and strategies eloquently and economically. You must be helping people enormously. Thanks for sharing your knowledge in the manner that you do. You’re a good human being
And you’re NOT a good human being Graham Thomas! You are a serial cheating loser and liar that emotionally abused and took advantage of someone with BPD!!
Your Compassion ❤️
2/28/24 - though this vid is from
Mar 26, 2019 (5yrs)
For 5days I've felt the emotional turmoil
Boulder crushing pressing weighing completely on me
I got to know my triggers buttons
And felt the explosive negative squeezing
Thank you for conversating explain talking about BPD
I am journaling what has triggered and pushed my buttons
I do gym exercise 6days, 1.5 to 2hrs
This helps get me out of myself
Once again thank you for the insightfulness
You’re very welcome. Be well
Experiencing emotional turmoil while watching this, just feel shame and intense sadness 😣
It you can beat it.
Good juju your way, the feelings will pass as clouds in the sky pass my dear
Thank you Dr. Fox these videos are very helpful!
I have CPTSD and yes I did have emotional turmoil and overwhelmed me. I learn that it's come from my childhood trauma and abuse memories but it's very good I am glad I can experience it because you know what, before I can able to feel this, I was not even able to feel or always feel like I can't understand emotions and didn't know what I feel
Another great helpful video. Thank you so much for making your help available to us!
I love your background tapestry!
i always freak out and push them away then cry because i pushed them away. and they get tired of it and leave
it always is my fear of them leaving that’s makes them actually leave
they liked me for who i was before i became obsessed
that's the exact cycle of my life how are you now? I'm gonna try and make myself happy before I fall in love again
Excruciating black hole in chest & stomach. I’ve often said I feel as though I’m tossed by huge stormy waves.
It’s hell.
Squeezing...that's a great description of how I feel physically when I'm being overwhelmed with negative emotions..I've always struggled to put this into words..thanks for your helpful videos
I have currently been in my emotions and this video is helping solve that
Writing down triggers is a great idea. This would help me a lot. When I write stuff down, it helps with "head hamsters". I think in a more linear way. Thank you, Dr Fox!
With me it's usually frustration that immediately turns to anger. Usually to regain control I goto our really small bathroom downstairs and I try to calm down by splashing cold water in my face,and pray for help calming down.
Is destroying important relationships a form of self harm? Because that seems to be the "outcome" for me when I slip into emotional dysregulation. My carotid begins to ache (trauma related). I am diagnosed officially with PTSD (knife attack) but am not totally at ease with the diagnosis myself as I continue to grow and groan sometimes in self awareness. Not to mention all the other traumas along the way and there were many. Where I Ilive we essentially have a "one stop mental health shop" (not knocking it as I am on my third dbt stint). There is pretty much only talk therapy with ( thank you Marsha Linehan) DBT. I think I need work with core content issues.
CAN I do that by actually using worksheets like your own to start working on how for example I am communicating with my inner child?. And how to build healthier forms of self talk..My therapist is young. Is it unreasonable to think my therapist could help me in this journey while (herself) being on a learning curve? I guess only she could answer that one with any accuracy.
Us Canadians eh? So many questions...so many issues.
I'd love to know more about your process of destroying important relationships as a form of self harm. Please?
Hey I also have cptsd and I did working on inner wounded child, identifying my own feeling, journaling for inner wound trauma and it's really helpful!
Thankyou dr fox ....u have changed my life for the better...bless you xx
This is absolute gold! Thank you
This was insanely helpful! THANK YOU so much Dr. Fox.
+J C you’re welcome. Glad it was helpful.
💯 Accuracy every time ♥️
"Emotional tsunami''🌊🔥...this term has everything in it..
I am getting more information here on UTube with you, than I ever got in counseling once a week for years. My 'doctor ' was going higher in her studies and moving up the ladder. 45 minutes of asking how I feel, with no feed back was so disappointing. She was learning while I was over medicated. I stopped going and began my own research. Now I am trying to decide if the meds will help or hinder. I am working on my self and working to understand what I must Stop doing and looking for the ' better' way to get alone with others.
Dr. Fox you have the most helpful and spot on analogies. Thank you!! For all you are doing to help me and I am sure many others.👍
I’m not sure if you’ve talked about this but could you do a video on the flip side of emotional turmoil? I used to be extremely emotional and reactive but for the past year I’ve experienced chronic emptiness & a general lack of ability to feel anything but mild anxiety or frustration. I’m not sure if there’s a reason for those feelings so it’d be great to hear your thoughts
I'd take that instead of my tsunamis
I ROAM ALONE it’s definitely wayyyy easier to cope with than the emotional extremes, but it makes it difficult to enjoy anything or have meaningful relationships. I wish I could be somewhere in the middle rather than too emotional or too empty
Sounds like depression
Oh God. I hear this. Then it comes back as a wave again. It's like you try to dissociate
Got a good example of extreme. That one time when my BF was at a bar with friends and was supposed to be back at 9, well of course he wasn't. So I called at 9 to see what's up and got told "We'll be back soon", which I interpreted as "I don't care that I'm not respecting my word and I'll just have fun with other people while you're miserable at home all alone". So what did I do? I said "okay! see you then!" and then proceeded to dismantling our sectional couch in order to build a barricade in front of our apartment's door in order to prevent anyone from entering. You wanted to stay out? Well enjoy your night out babe! BTW, I do realize how childish and crazy that is and I don't feel good about it. But gotta admit, the banging on the door and the ensuing "WTF" were priceless.
The short-term rewards for giving into core content and maladaptive patterns is sometimes very powerful. Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks for all of your help
I have a Q. How important is it for a person who finds themselves on the Borderline spectrum, to if possible, understand what is the root cause, the source, of their condition. How beneficial is that knowledge and understanding, in assisting the healing process?
Hi Dr. Fox, thanks so much for this valuable resource. Some of my personal triggers include difficulties in the work place when I don't feel valued or accepted. This typically leads to my maladaptive attempts to regain control of the situation. I've identified a pattern of inappropriate behaviors that I use as coping mechanisms such as voicing my discontent immediately without much thought to my surroundings or unintentionally stating hurtful comments towards the 'offender.' I just watched your other video on Emotional Reasoning which I learned some important steps there as well. I'm seeking some work-place friendly coping skills for these tougher in the moment situations, please!
Dr. Fox,
It would be helpful with some of your videos if you could have someone acting out the topic especially on this video. It can be difficult to practice these techniques if you cant identify or relate to practicing these techniques especially if you mostly in a dissociative or disconnected state.
Thank you
I also struggle with schizoaffective disorder bipolar type and alot of depression. I pull away from anyone in my life when it gets bad, not to harm others but to recover quicker. I still havnt found anyone who can understand what im dealing with, so when it gets bad, my experience so far is the pick up your bootstraps/buckup whammy. The hallucinations get bad i really withdraw so i can work through it without being put down, told i need to be in a mental hospital, and reduce anxiety before hypervigilance takes over which prolongs recovery. When im extremely depressed i try to reach out by hanging out with those in my life doing what activity they want or just watching a movie with them or talking about all sorts of stuff. Havnt had luck with that either, get blown off alot. Then when manic everything is peachy from them. I get the comment "why cant you be like this all the time, its all in your head" alot. Drives me crazy because i know this cycle do whats within my ability to, for lack of a better word, calm before i go manic and reach out for emotional support before i become suicidal. Throw in bpd discouraged and adhd and its quite a rollercoaster. Especially since ive been on every antidepressant, mood stabilizer, and antisychotic available with no improvement and other treatments havnt helped.
So maybe now you might be able to see how a helper acting out topics could help others and myself who have alot going on.
Thank you for your videos ❤️🔥 they've been incredibly helpful to me
I'm so glad!
This so resonates and it absolutely intensifies for me during PMS and I just constantly feel slighted and that people are way nicer to everyone else in their life than they are to me. I’m a very soft-spoken person and struggle with boundaries anyway, but the emotional tsunami during PMS often begins with feeling like I’m not being treated correctly. So prone to headaches and physical soreness during this time. It’s like this sense of panic along with desperation for a person (often my bf) cycling with anger over the fact that I do way more for him than he does for me. I see BPD as being misunderstood as a disorder of selfish and manipulative people and all I can say is that in my case, the emotional tsunami centers around a problem that is the opposite of that-that my relationships are so unbalanced and I do it all
Hi I feel this. I have bpd and i found a supplement called DIM that helps with emotions i try to take it every day but norm try to take it the week before and week of. it helps cramps be a little less bad but its the emotional rediculousness it helps me with i think it helps the body metabolize the estrogen or something idk im not a dr. i just noticed it helped me idk if anyone else has ever used it with bpd and noticed any difference
@@Wut-A-Trip Omg thank you so much for the wonderful suggestion! Looking this up right now!!😁😁
Great advice from a great guy.
I am internal. Keep my mouth shut, Do as little damage as posible. Just get through it with th tools that I have. Mindfulness is big. Cycling is excellent. Mostly I just keep to myself because I know that is not the truth it is just passing storm.
Thanks Teach🌹
Thank you for your videos! This is my second one now. I just typed in bpd and emotional outburst.
I love the artistic map background it is original and colorful, I love your videos. I think exercise would help me. Thank you so much!
Great information! There is hope for us!
Thank you for all your videos
Thank you very much for the video. I really needed this today as I've just had a conversation with my husband, some 'buttons' as I will now refer to them, were hit, and I went mental at him. Your videos have truly changed how I view my BPD so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Question though, how do you distinguish the difference between a mild, moderate, severe and extreme emotional turmoil tsunami? I have extreme written down as self harm, throwing things, destroying furniture etc, but I don't know how to work out what a mild tsunami would look like, for example. So the argument I just had, thanks to your videos, I quickly realised after I hung up what I'd done because I noticed the tension in my chest amongst other things and then worked to calm myself down. Would that be a mild one as I was able to calm myself within about 15 minutes and didn't engage in any destructive behaviour despite having overwhelming urges to do so, like punching a wall etc? Or is it severe because I knew I wasn't in a good place to have the conversation, felt myself getting worked up but couldn't control my surface behaviours when I was on the phone? Or is it dependant on how intense the physical and mental sensations are, and thats how the severity of the emotional turmoil is worked out? Sorry for the rambling!
Dude your videos are so so good. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I wish you well.
Thank you Dr fox
Best description!
This is soothing and helpfull. Thankyou
my bpd GF ...calls it her emotional mine field
I’ve read “eternal turmoil and drowning in your emotions” haha that would fit too
I’ve been scanning the comments. It seems that a lot people like your work 😉
Love the map behind you!