I really appreciate Aylana's voice and input in these podcasts. As someone who recently discovered I'm not straight, there's this huge wave of validation when she talks about her own experience.
you know what’s painful? being afraid your female friends will misread you being tactile because you’re gay. I don’t want to freak them out cuz when I am comfortable with someone I’m very cuddly but at the same time always afraid I’m too much yk
Yes! I can't help but be physically affectionate. It's bad enough that men misunderstand my intentions, but it's heartbreaking when it makes my female friends uncomfortable.
Do you think being honest with your friends about that fear would help clear anything up? if you have good supportive friends it’s unlikely that they feel that way, and an honest discussion about it might help reassure you
Thank you to Mak for sharing that traumatic story and thank you to all three of you for having the rest of that conversation. These are the thoughts I’ve been having as an American in Florida and the feeling has been so isolating because it feels like not enough people around me are having these discussions anymore. People are really becoming jaded and it hurts and it is such a lonely feeling. So to come here and listen to this podcast episode not expecting this conversation, I feel a little less hopeless today. Thank you.
@Ville It sure feels that way, sometimes. The movie, " Don't Look Up" was written to communicate with comedy about climate crisis, cultural complacency, and denial. That last part might apply to a number challenges we currently face. Sometimes, reflecting on eras of strife in history, as awful as it feels to imagine we might slide backwards, there is hope that we can endure. If other people had collectively stopped trying, we wouldn't have gotten through it. No one can change the world all by themselves, but participating in the relay race of history does gradually shift circumstances.
I love how I actually have a gay family (raised by two moms and a queer older sister) but I still watch this every week. You guys are incredible, the podcast is so amazing, comforting and funny
No literally like every other person in my family is gay which I am endlessly grateful for in a way but also like I present masc which is hard being in a britch high school so this posdacst is so reassuring reaffirming and just safe
The BB gun incident happened to a friend of mine who was walking on campus. The guys that shot her just watered down the incident as a joke and just emphasized that it wasn't a real gun. It was racially targeted because the incident happened in a historically white university . There are countless incidents where we are reminded we are not welcomed at the university.
That is terrible! It doesn't matter what kind of gun it was or if they labeled it a prank, that is assault. And it is one step off from a 'real' gun....
If I were to identify as one of them, it would totally be Mac. Kinda dyslexic, stares off into space and passive. I love her! ❤️ ❤️❤️ And Alayna reminds me of my school years best friend and Ashley, the girls I've hooked up with! Such representation!!! 🌈❤️🌺
@ville__ if you don't care about solidarity and family, what are you here for. @RebaStrazzy I care, and so does every decent person seeing your comment.
Honestly, my first ever same-sex relationship was toxic. The break up felt like the feeling of missing an organ. But what really helped was focusing on stuff I put aside in order to be with that person. Whatever that is for you, you can start any time. ALSO, be gentle with yourself when you do. Spending time with family and friends is important, too.
Man I’m so tired I literally cried at this episode, a lot of it really hit hard and close to home. I am a teenager and I’m already riddled with anxiety and have no energy left, in general, but especially to do with the topics talked about today. Also right now I’m trying to get over loving someone who doesn’t love me back and even though we didn’t brake up (because we were never together), I still get that pain and ache in my chest all the time and sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe properly and that I’m getting sensory overload just from being around them or thinking about them. I appreciate this podcast so much, it’s such a comfort for me when I’m feeling overwhelmed (which is often because I have pretty bad anxiety). I really feel so safe when listening to this podcast so thank you.
I don’t know if this will help but channeling anxiety into a craft has helped me. Good luck to you on your journey. We’re here for you. edit: Easy street; just buy some wood and and a whittling knife. I promise you those afternoons on your porch will heal you enough to approach therapy in a healthy way. And after 3 months your gonna be good to go on your own (if you're anything like me. It might take longer but you won't be there forever)
Positive comment time for Mx. Metrics. Alayna: I always appreciate your empathetic takes and your ability to keep things light. Maybe try Momma instead of Mommy? Not a fan of mommy either. Mak: I appreciate how attentive you are and how you actively listen. Also, great comedic timing in this episode. Ashley: Your gap moe (cringe word but idk a better english term) always makes me so happy. Reverse Ellen indeed. Going from the 9-11 jokes to thanking Mak and being deeply empathetic is so endearing and shows how great your range as an entertainer is.
As someone on the queer spectrum, who has BPD, I relate heavily to relationships feeling like drugs. Emotional pain has been shown to be just as bad if not worse than physical pain. Makes it so hard to give up on someone, or to restart. This podcast has been my new favorite healthy thing.
I'm 6 months into transition. I should be happy and social and living life and being all smiles. But I'm afraid to go outside and it's depressing and lonely. This isn't what transition is supposed to be like. But this is what America has created. Relentless fear
Cis ppl, even cis gay ppl don't understand that trans people live in a very different world from them, a world that largely wants you dead and erased. Of course gay people are being preyed upon as well but they can hide their gayness easily if necessary. As a trans person you either have to pass extremely well or be a celebrity, to be somewhat safe everywhere.
i relate to this comment so much. i am scared for my life everyday. just know that you are not alone in this struggle and that so many queer and trans people WILL love and welcome you with open arms!! i live in a very small town and have found other queer people that i can share this fear with and we have made love and community out of it. i hope that you can find the same :) love you 💕 and wishing you good days! congrats on 6 months!!
So much fear :( im so sorry dear... Would it be possible to have a group of other lgbtq folks to go out and about together so you get used to going outside without having to do it alone?
Love you ladies, and I really feel that hopelessness, too. The past 5 years have really solidified the fact that nobody is doing anything ever. Including politicians we vote for. Voting isn't the necessity we are brought up to believe. Wielding power with the leverage we have is the only way to effect change. Support workers on strikes, join a union and push proposals, show up to town halls, and call out politicians on their hypocrisy. That's how we win. I've personally joined Socialist Alternative and worked with them to do these things, but there are plenty of other orgs out there. We gotta get on the street ladies! Peace and love
Ashley, you know I can be very picky, so believe me when I say this is the very best pod there has ever been. You hit the nail right on the head. 10/10 PERFECT. I love you.
Voting is such a great actionable way to make a change. I love your show, sometimes, I do get a little dissassociated as a black,queer, woman. Still enjoy the banter.
Dad Mother and Junior. And I’ve never watched a Batchelor or Ett. I’m an Aussie and I haven’t seen any of our shows. I’ve had two break ups that were physically painful. But the last one was the worst. The physical pain was unbelievable to me. It was like someone had died. I started drinking just so I could sleep, but I’m not a drinker at all so that wasn’t very good for me. I started going to the gym. It worked wonders for me. And we have to vote by law, or you get fined.
What about Favorite Gunkle (Gay uncle) and Favorite Gaunt (Gay aunt)? Mak I **hate** that this happened to you and am reaching across the miles to give you a comforting hug. Please consider continuing to talk about what happened to you and your sister to help your nervous system regulate. And not only is voting crucial- but run for office- join the local school board, learn about local seats available. I challenge every person reading this to go to a local city council meeting.
Okay, anyone else freaked out that Mak and Mattea were shot at? And they don’t know if it was random or a hate crime or targeted?? Feeling pretty choked up about it. Glad you’re both okay. Whoa 😳
Like Ashley, I feel very deeply. My last partner was very unhealed and took that out on me, gas-lit me a lot. Really emphasized that I was being "dramatic" when I said that their actions physically hurt me. That pain in your chest and stomach is called the Vagus Nerve. So... butterflies, anxiety, that "gut feeling" is your brain physically telling you something's wrong.
I have dark brown eyes and recently bought teal contacts. At a glance, they look like they could be natural, though they're really striking with my black hair and caramel skin tone. They're a fun accessory, but I definitely prefer my big brown eyes.
in brazil (where im from) the life expectancy of a trans person is 27 years. as a trans teen, i feel like even my hopes and dreams are affected by this and people don't talk about it enough. i feel like i wouldn’t be successful in my field because i wouldn't live long enough to be able to be recognized, and that's not even a a fear im aware is stopping me from doing what i want. i have this constant anxiety of doing all of this work for nothing, or just the everyday fear of going out alone and suffer some kind of violence, even though my town is pretty safe (but conservative). idk, the last part of the episode made me think about these worries i have (btw just found the chosen family podcast through ashley's youtube shorts and im loving your dinamic, it really feels like a safe space!!)
Can I just say I LOVE when Ashley gives those tidbits of life in a serious way. I love the joking but when she gets serious it’s like seeing a different side of her. Love it💚
I've gotten that horrible chest pain with really bad fights too, it's fuckin terrible. My first queer breakup was a double whammy because not only did the first girl I loved say that she is more or less disgusted by me, but my then primary partner also left me for her!! *sigh* this happened like a decade ago and it still creeps into my mind -.-
When I went to go vote for my recent local election, my partner and I were the youngest people we saw by at least a couple decades. At 30 years old it felt sad to see what an unbalanced ratio of voters there was. Where were you gen z? We need you out there!
I mean it’s more where are millienias?! The oledat gen z are ~24 so there should be more pressure on millenials where everyone is abowe legal age. I dont mean this against you personaly but i’ve seen a lot of people say this so i wanted to respond somewhere. I also live in sweden so idk yea :)
@@stelladenhoed997 I get where you’re coming from. At that specific time everyone around me looked at least 50. That means a lot of younger gen x folks could be included in my sentiments. But I have seen people around my age voting before. I’ve never in all my years of voting seen someone significantly younger than me. I live in a red state and the young people are the ones we need. I love my home and it won’t get better unless we work together.
I really do feel like I'm a part of ya'lls family. I have watched ya'll individually such as Ashley's podcast, Mak's UA-cam and tiktoks, Alanya's UA-cam. I can't express how much it's helped me in guidance I just don't get. 🏳️🌈❤️
I really really enjoy this podcast cause these represent so accurately the conversation i have with my gay friends. These are so emotionally intelligent and entertaining. This helps me and validates my feelings. I am so grateful for this podcast and this is why representation matters. Thank you
Thank you Ashley, Mack, & Alayna for producing these podcasts. I like to listen to them in the evenings during supper prep etc. and there's always (besides the funny and heartwarmingness) great tips about self care that me as an introverted late bloomer gay 64 year old man finds SUPER valuable. Thank you Thank you, thank you!
i relate to mak's story about being shot at with a bb gun so much. i was at a music festival in PA last summer with my family and some guy must've been drunk and pulled out a handgun to show off but accidentally shot it and everyone started running (i didnt see the gun or the guy but i saw the people running and screaming about a gunshot and i just took off). in the end the only person that got hurt was himself bc he accidentally shot himself in the abdomen (he lived) but it was SO terrifying and traumatic and even though it wasnt a real active shooter situation i am still so much more anxious and hyper aware of my surroundings in large crowds because of it
The advice for that social interaction when you are going through a heartbreak is something to always keep in mind for sure. I have to make myself do it even when I don't want to, but it makes it even harder because my ex is also a part of the same social circle and they want to stay close and have that bond, but I still try to make myself because if I don't I will spiral so much more. 💔
Omg, Ashley’s not only plugging her other podcast any chance she gets, she also never hesitates to promote her own self if there’s the tiniest of windows available to do so. I still can’t be mad about it. she’d make a nasty sales person, loaded, but nasty :)))
They all talk about the other stuff theyre working on- like in the same episode alayna mentions a series shes doing on her youtube. Its ok! We all know them already from different platforms so it would be strange if they dodnt acknowledge those other projects
Watched this in 2023 without having experienced real heartbreak like Alayna (no relationships with girls till that point) and now I know how that feels, it's so hard to let go, I relate to Ashley saying it feels like a drug to her, Idk if it's related to my adhd but I have the same problem. Thank you even more now for this episode! I'll try to keep myself as busy as I can
After break ups with men: relief/re-establishing my sense of self & identity/ processing genuine trauma/briefing who I had been Queer break-ups: grieving the loss of them, grieving the future with them, the biochemical DROP
Just found this podcast and I’m literally head over heels 💜 woof queer breakups are no joke. Keeping busy definitely helps but also giving yourself space to feel.
Ashley as a Soft Dom is making me sweat 🥵🫠 This podcast is my absolute favorite, it's so healing to listen to. Physical touch is so important, and platonic intimacy rocks.
Currently bingeing all the podcast episodes and I cannot believe Ash said she had 77k followers just 3 months back and it's now 300k! Way to go Ash. While I found you recently, I really thought this was an old thing and I just didn't know you
Concerning Voting- The Senate ratified the Right to Marriage Act yesterday- 61-37. Now the bill heads to the House where it will be approved, then on to Biden to be signed! Once this happens the Supreme Court can't override Gay Marriage! Nice to have a victory!
27:31 I think I made my best friend after asking them to the homecoming dance this year. Like I don’t think I have ever felt closer to anyone even though it didn’t work out as a romantic relationship I just had a thirty minute conversation with her, which I’ve never done before. And I may be a little bit in love with them but that’s fine. It’s cool. A platonic relationship is really what I need no matter how much I yearn for a romantic one.
I’m going through my first heartbreak currently. It’s rough, this has been great advise! I ended up taking on an additional part time job to keep my mind busy and that has been a huge help! It forced me to manage my time, forced me out of myself, I felt productive. Everyone’s different tho
"I will kill the spider but... I will scream like a little girl for one second before I kill it." That is one of the best descriptions of my gender I have ever heard and I will be using it regularly. Don't worry, I will make sure listeners know it came from you, Ashley, and this podcast! Thanks!
Really love the dynamic on this pod. I think you all should plug your other outlets! Who wouldn’t want more content from you all. You all are hilarious
This podcast has been so amazing to listen to so far. This dynamic trio is incredible! I adore Alayna so much and I love listening to you in this format, I could listen to you talk endlessly
This is very helpful. I recently found out one girl I like has a boyfriend, and one of my best friends is dating a previous crush that I hadn’t gotten over. I was really just avoiding this girl as much as I could, but now it’s pretty much impossible.
258k, Ashley!!!???!!! CONGRATS! 🤾♀️🎆🏆 Just chkd when u mentioned "70k subscribers" & my jaw dropped at where u are now. Been a sub forever. So happy 4u!😛💜
Thank you for saying the brown eye thing. I am blonde with blue eyes and everyone says how they like that combination but honestly brown hair and brown eyes is so freaking pretty
Hearing you all talk about how bad your heartbreaks work makes me wonder whether it's actually what I and quite a few of my friends have claimed about friendship breakups often being just as devastating as romantic breakups, because there's not that biochemical component (I think). Makes me wonder whether it's an ace and/or aro thing, since I am ace and arospec and most of the people I've talked with about that are also either or both of those. I'm currently going through my first true queer heartbreak from a queerplatonic relationship and while I was sad and cried in the months *before* the breakup happened because I saw us drifting apart and noticed they needed space for their mental health and things I couldn't give them as a long-distance partner, I've been strangely "stable" during and after we actually talked about it. It was all very calm and we're still friends, still talk now and then, basically the kindest way it could have happened, but I can't believe it would actually affect me so little because that makes it seem like I didn't actually care about the relationship. So my working theory is that I'm subconsciously repressing everything because I can't afford to lose my concentration because of sad feelings and processing, since I've got a master's thesis and internship and other research papers and presentations on my plate while still recovering from a burnout. So I should probably find *less* distraction. Heartbreak is strange because I do miss them, but it feels superficial because of the lack of pain, so I wonder if I miss being in a relationship more than I miss them, because I never had someone I could talk to in the same way before them, and now we don't have that anymore.
I have only had one relationship in my life it’s a long story and she died 15 years ago suddenly. There are no words for the death of a soulmate. At times I literally felt like I was having a heart attack my heart literally hurt so bad. There were times and even still I have to remind myself I am okay it is just my grief. Dying from a broken heart is real. I never want to feel that pain again and so I have not dated or had sex since by choice partly because of the pain, mostly to heal and life events made it harder to heal. I am a strong person and always have been for everyone in my life so I got through it but it took longer than expected. Love is addictive and why everyone wants to stay in the honeymoon phase because we love that rush of happy chemicals in the brain. It is also why recovering addicts are strongly advised not to date in the first year because they would be trading one addiction for another. Or it use to be that way not sure if it still is. I went through alcoholic withdrawal as a baby. The doctor prescribed it for my mom along with bed rest another long story hahaha. I do not remember it but my body does. So when around alcohol other then wine I shake at the smell and my body hurts. It is such a fucked up feeling. Sadly it did not occur to them I was going through withdrawal so I was left to just go through it. So yeah this was a great episode and thank you all for sharing! Oh and Mak I am with you I could listen to Alayna say sorry all day!!! My late wife’s eyes were brown 🥰 when she was happy they were a really light brown that was soooo beautiful but she mostly had dark brown eyes and they were just as beautiful! To all you brown eyed people your eyes are beautiful too! 💙
I just enjoy watching these three talk about the bachelorette to 9/11 jokes. This podcast is so real and fresh. And I would spend my rest days listening to them.
We need to establish a “mommy” jar for Ashley. Every time she calls Alayna “mommy” outside of the intro, a dollar goes into the jar.
Want her to go broke huh
@@chaillevan Absolutely. If I’m broke, everyone’s going down with me.
There aren't enough dollars in the world
What are you saving up for, an aircraft carrier?
Mak’s trust fund would be MADE 😂
I really appreciate Aylana's voice and input in these podcasts. As someone who recently discovered I'm not straight, there's this huge wave of validation when she talks about her own experience.
yes yes yes, 1000% agree💛
you know what’s painful? being afraid your female friends will misread you being tactile because you’re gay. I don’t want to freak them out cuz when I am comfortable with someone I’m very cuddly but at the same time always afraid I’m too much yk
Yes!
I can't help but be physically affectionate. It's bad enough that men misunderstand my intentions, but it's heartbreaking when it makes my female friends uncomfortable.
@@FZ-bk9kh I’m so glad we aren’t along in this! sending virtual hugs🤲🏽
@@marycopper4463 🤗🤗🤗
I have the same issue but I’m bi and have came out to my friends to I feel that way with all of my friends
Do you think being honest with your friends about that fear would help clear anything up? if you have good supportive friends it’s unlikely that they feel that way, and an honest discussion about it might help reassure you
This podcast= instant happiness
Meeeee
@Ville huh?
YEESS, I’ve been looking forward to watching this all day!
For real tho
@Ville you seem to care a lot since you're taking the time to reply mean things to everyone
We all really gonna ignore that she said, "i feel like my 9/11 jokes got shot down?"
The sheer punnery
I just want to say longer episodes would be amazing. I know it’s a lot of work and logistics and shit, but I could listen to you guys talk all day.
We're working on it!
YES PLEASE
*patiently waiting for alayna to continue reacting to the australian bachelorette*
Same!
Thank you to Mak for sharing that traumatic story and thank you to all three of you for having the rest of that conversation. These are the thoughts I’ve been having as an American in Florida and the feeling has been so isolating because it feels like not enough people around me are having these discussions anymore. People are really becoming jaded and it hurts and it is such a lonely feeling. So to come here and listen to this podcast episode not expecting this conversation, I feel a little less hopeless today. Thank you.
@Ville It sure feels that way, sometimes. The movie, " Don't Look Up" was written to communicate with comedy about climate crisis, cultural complacency, and denial. That last part might apply to a number challenges we currently face. Sometimes, reflecting on eras of strife in history, as awful as it feels to imagine we might slide backwards, there is hope that we can endure. If other people had collectively stopped trying, we wouldn't have gotten through it. No one can change the world all by themselves, but participating in the relay race of history does gradually shift circumstances.
Comedy can help the brain cope. Wishing you comfort and inspiration in surprising moments.
I love how I actually have a gay family (raised by two moms and a queer older sister) but I still watch this every week. You guys are incredible, the podcast is so amazing, comforting and funny
No literally like every other person in my family is gay which I am endlessly grateful for in a way but also like I present masc which is hard being in a britch high school so this posdacst is so reassuring reaffirming and just safe
the physical pain that comes with the break up IS SO TRUE i didn't even imagine that it was possible
The BB gun incident happened to a friend of mine who was walking on campus. The guys that shot her just watered down the incident as a joke and just emphasized that it wasn't a real gun. It was racially targeted because the incident happened in a historically white university . There are countless incidents where we are reminded we are not welcomed at the university.
Thats horrible!! Im so sorry :((
That is terrible! It doesn't matter what kind of gun it was or if they labeled it a prank, that is assault. And it is one step off from a 'real' gun....
That is unacceptable! Targeting anyone with anything like that on a campus should be disciplined severely.
Sleeping in the same bed with someone platonically is so underrated.
I love how Mak is being guided by Ashley and Elena
It's spelled Alayna, not Elena
If I were to identify as one of them, it would totally be Mac. Kinda dyslexic, stares off into space and passive. I love her! ❤️ ❤️❤️
And Alayna reminds me of my school years best friend and Ashley, the girls I've hooked up with!
Such representation!!! 🌈❤️🌺
I don't know why I find it so hilarious that Ashley is obsessed with the bachelorette
This podcast genuinely helps my anxiety, and it makes me feel SO much less alone. Thank you guys, seriously, so much.
@ville__ I care and so do 31 other people 🖤
@ville__ if you don't care about solidarity and family, what are you here for. @RebaStrazzy I care, and so does every decent person seeing your comment.
as a somewhat newly-realized aroace, it was so validating to hear you talk about having platonic relationships that *are* fulfilling
I know right!!!
And I'm not even aro
"I have a line; I don't know where it is though 🥺" relatable 😂
Honestly, my first ever same-sex relationship was toxic. The break up felt like the feeling of missing an organ. But what really helped was focusing on stuff I put aside in order to be with that person. Whatever that is for you, you can start any time. ALSO, be gentle with yourself when you do. Spending time with family and friends is important, too.
Man I’m so tired I literally cried at this episode, a lot of it really hit hard and close to home. I am a teenager and I’m already riddled with anxiety and have no energy left, in general, but especially to do with the topics talked about today. Also right now I’m trying to get over loving someone who doesn’t love me back and even though we didn’t brake up (because we were never together), I still get that pain and ache in my chest all the time and sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe properly and that I’m getting sensory overload just from being around them or thinking about them. I appreciate this podcast so much, it’s such a comfort for me when I’m feeling overwhelmed (which is often because I have pretty bad anxiety). I really feel so safe when listening to this podcast so thank you.
I don’t know if this will help but channeling anxiety into a craft has helped me. Good luck to you on your journey. We’re here for you. edit: Easy street; just buy some wood and and a whittling knife. I promise you those afternoons on your porch will heal you enough to approach therapy in a healthy way. And after 3 months your gonna be good to go on your own (if you're anything like me. It might take longer but you won't be there forever)
Positive comment time for Mx. Metrics.
Alayna: I always appreciate your empathetic takes and your ability to keep things light. Maybe try Momma instead of Mommy? Not a fan of mommy either.
Mak: I appreciate how attentive you are and how you actively listen. Also, great comedic timing in this episode.
Ashley: Your gap moe (cringe word but idk a better english term) always makes me so happy. Reverse Ellen indeed. Going from the 9-11 jokes to thanking Mak and being deeply empathetic is so endearing and shows how great your range as an entertainer is.
My fav thing to do is smoke my bowl and watch old chosen family podcasts
Mommy in a safe way 💕 absolutely. You have a gift for empathy and compassion and communication. And compersion 💕 it’s a very safe space around you
Hell yessss. I was just thinking "hmm, it's Wednesday, I wonder if Chosen Family is out yet." And here it is!!! Yesss. New favorite podcast
As someone on the queer spectrum, who has BPD, I relate heavily to relationships feeling like drugs. Emotional pain has been shown to be just as bad if not worse than physical pain. Makes it so hard to give up on someone, or to restart. This podcast has been my new favorite healthy thing.
Going trough the same ,good luck
I have adhd but it's happening the same to me, it is being so hard to quit..
Im going through the same,sending you hugs
I'm 6 months into transition. I should be happy and social and living life and being all smiles. But I'm afraid to go outside and it's depressing and lonely. This isn't what transition is supposed to be like. But this is what America has created. Relentless fear
Cis ppl, even cis gay ppl don't understand that trans people live in a very different world from them, a world that largely wants you dead and erased. Of course gay people are being preyed upon as well but they can hide their gayness easily if necessary. As a trans person you either have to pass extremely well or be a celebrity, to be somewhat safe everywhere.
i relate to this comment so much. i am scared for my life everyday. just know that you are not alone in this struggle and that so many queer and trans people WILL love and welcome you with open arms!! i live in a very small town and have found other queer people that i can share this fear with and we have made love and community out of it. i hope that you can find the same :) love you 💕 and wishing you good days! congrats on 6 months!!
@ville1315 don't look into a mirror then
So much fear :( im so sorry dear... Would it be possible to have a group of other lgbtq folks to go out and about together so you get used to going outside without having to do it alone?
@Ville kinda sounds like you are though
omg the chest pain that comes with heartbreak - so brutal
Love you ladies, and I really feel that hopelessness, too. The past 5 years have really solidified the fact that nobody is doing anything ever. Including politicians we vote for. Voting isn't the necessity we are brought up to believe. Wielding power with the leverage we have is the only way to effect change. Support workers on strikes, join a union and push proposals, show up to town halls, and call out politicians on their hypocrisy. That's how we win. I've personally joined Socialist Alternative and worked with them to do these things, but there are plenty of other orgs out there. We gotta get on the street ladies!
Peace and love
Ashley, you know I can be very picky, so believe me when I say this is the very best pod there has ever been. You hit the nail right on the head. 10/10 PERFECT. I love you.
hey virgil, means a lot coming from you :)
Voting is such a great actionable way to make a change. I love your show, sometimes, I do get a little dissassociated as a black,queer, woman. Still enjoy the banter.
i wish there were more comments like yours! why is no one talking about the back half of the episode!!
Dad Mother and Junior. And I’ve never watched a Batchelor or Ett. I’m an Aussie and I haven’t seen any of our shows. I’ve had two break ups that were physically painful. But the last one was the worst. The physical pain was unbelievable to me. It was like someone had died. I started drinking just so I could sleep, but I’m not a drinker at all so that wasn’t very good for me. I started going to the gym. It worked wonders for me. And we have to vote by law, or you get fined.
They're so respectful towards each other I love it
What about Favorite Gunkle (Gay uncle) and Favorite Gaunt (Gay aunt)? Mak I **hate** that this happened to you and am reaching across the miles to give you a comforting hug. Please consider continuing to talk about what happened to you and your sister to help your nervous system regulate. And not only is voting crucial- but run for office- join the local school board, learn about local seats available. I challenge every person reading this to go to a local city council meeting.
First queer heartbreak: I grieved for a girl I dated for three weeks for WAY longer than guys I'd dated for three months. 😂
One of the few pods where if I listen on Spotify first, I have to watch the video too because I feel like I missed something 😂 so funny
i love women, all three of u have taught me so much about lesbianism ily.
the paperbag behind Ashley saying "DICK" distracting me the whole time lmaoooo
No bc same I laugh each time I see it 😂
did anyone else just die hearing alayna talk about her girlfriend?❤im so glad yall are happy:)
Okay, anyone else freaked out that Mak and Mattea were shot at? And they don’t know if it was random or a hate crime or targeted?? Feeling pretty choked up about it. Glad you’re both okay. Whoa 😳
Like Ashley, I feel very deeply. My last partner was very unhealed and took that out on me, gas-lit me a lot. Really emphasized that I was being "dramatic" when I said that their actions physically hurt me. That pain in your chest and stomach is called the Vagus Nerve. So... butterflies, anxiety, that "gut feeling" is your brain physically telling you something's wrong.
22:14
I have dark brown eyes and recently bought teal contacts. At a glance, they look like they could be natural, though they're really striking with my black hair and caramel skin tone. They're a fun accessory, but I definitely prefer my big brown eyes.
in brazil (where im from) the life expectancy of a trans person is 27 years. as a trans teen, i feel like even my hopes and dreams are affected by this and people don't talk about it enough. i feel like i wouldn’t be successful in my field because i wouldn't live long enough to be able to be recognized, and that's not even a a fear im aware is stopping me from doing what i want. i have this constant anxiety of doing all of this work for nothing, or just the everyday fear of going out alone and suffer some kind of violence, even though my town is pretty safe (but conservative). idk, the last part of the episode made me think about these worries i have
(btw just found the chosen family podcast through ashley's youtube shorts and im loving your dinamic, it really feels like a safe space!!)
3 episodes recorded in 1 day from 3 months ago. I appreciate the hustle💪🤜🤛
"That is offensive to me" such a sensitive top, I love it
FINALLY!! this is the only podcast I wait for
Can I just say I LOVE when Ashley gives those tidbits of life in a serious way. I love the joking but when she gets serious it’s like seeing a different side of her. Love it💚
I love the depth and levity this podcast brings. Just a range of topics, and the editing brings how each persona. ❤❤
I've gotten that horrible chest pain with really bad fights too, it's fuckin terrible. My first queer breakup was a double whammy because not only did the first girl I loved say that she is more or less disgusted by me, but my then primary partner also left me for her!! *sigh* this happened like a decade ago and it still creeps into my mind -.-
This podcast is so funny, goofy, heartwarming, healing, informative and important. Truly a treasure 💖
When I went to go vote for my recent local election, my partner and I were the youngest people we saw by at least a couple decades. At 30 years old it felt sad to see what an unbalanced ratio of voters there was. Where were you gen z? We need you out there!
I mean it’s more where are millienias?! The oledat gen z are ~24 so there should be more pressure on millenials where everyone is abowe legal age. I dont mean this against you personaly but i’ve seen a lot of people say this so i wanted to respond somewhere. I also live in sweden so idk yea :)
@@stelladenhoed997 I get where you’re coming from. At that specific time everyone around me looked at least 50. That means a lot of younger gen x folks could be included in my sentiments. But I have seen people around my age voting before. I’ve never in all my years of voting seen someone significantly younger than me. I live in a red state and the young people are the ones we need. I love my home and it won’t get better unless we work together.
I really do feel like I'm a part of ya'lls family. I have watched ya'll individually such as Ashley's podcast, Mak's UA-cam and tiktoks, Alanya's UA-cam. I can't express how much it's helped me in guidance I just don't get. 🏳️🌈❤️
All that I’ll ever need from a podcast!
I really really enjoy this podcast cause these represent so accurately the conversation i have with my gay friends. These are so emotionally intelligent and entertaining. This helps me and validates my feelings. I am so grateful for this podcast and this is why representation matters. Thank you
Thank you Ashley, Mack, & Alayna for producing these podcasts. I like to listen to them in the evenings during supper prep etc. and there's always (besides the funny and heartwarmingness) great tips about self care that me as an introverted late bloomer gay 64 year old man finds SUPER valuable. Thank you Thank you, thank you!
I didn't know how much I needed this podcast and chosen family until I found it ❤
i relate to mak's story about being shot at with a bb gun so much. i was at a music festival in PA last summer with my family and some guy must've been drunk and pulled out a handgun to show off but accidentally shot it and everyone started running (i didnt see the gun or the guy but i saw the people running and screaming about a gunshot and i just took off). in the end the only person that got hurt was himself bc he accidentally shot himself in the abdomen (he lived) but it was SO terrifying and traumatic and even though it wasnt a real active shooter situation i am still so much more anxious and hyper aware of my surroundings in large crowds because of it
The advice for that social interaction when you are going through a heartbreak is something to always keep in mind for sure. I have to make myself do it even when I don't want to, but it makes it even harder because my ex is also a part of the same social circle and they want to stay close and have that bond, but I still try to make myself because if I don't I will spiral so much more. 💔
Omg, Ashley’s not only plugging her other podcast any chance she gets, she also never hesitates to promote her own self if there’s the tiniest of windows available to do so. I still can’t be mad about it. she’d make a nasty sales person, loaded, but nasty :)))
She's made jokes about being a "company man" so I think there's the tiniest bit of Boomer work ethic in there lol.
bro what
They all talk about the other stuff theyre working on- like in the same episode alayna mentions a series shes doing on her youtube. Its ok! We all know them already from different platforms so it would be strange if they dodnt acknowledge those other projects
Watched this in 2023 without having experienced real heartbreak like Alayna (no relationships with girls till that point) and now I know how that feels, it's so hard to let go, I relate to Ashley saying it feels like a drug to her, Idk if it's related to my adhd but I have the same problem. Thank you even more now for this episode! I'll try to keep myself as busy as I can
After break ups with men: relief/re-establishing my sense of self & identity/ processing genuine trauma/briefing who I had been
Queer break-ups: grieving the loss of them, grieving the future with them, the biochemical DROP
Omg I'm an Aussie gay~~lol and my girlfriend and I watched that season of the bachelorette as it was airing and we cried so much lolll
Alana. Pain in the chest, That's why it's called Heartbreak. I felt it when my ex and I split up back in 1990. Scared me.
Just found this podcast and I’m literally head over heels 💜 woof queer breakups are no joke. Keeping busy definitely helps but also giving yourself space to feel.
Ashley as a Soft Dom is making me sweat 🥵🫠
This podcast is my absolute favorite, it's so healing to listen to. Physical touch is so important, and platonic intimacy rocks.
maks roadkill joke was so overlooked
i was CRYINNN
Currently bingeing all the podcast episodes and I cannot believe Ash said she had 77k followers just 3 months back and it's now 300k! Way to go Ash. While I found you recently, I really thought this was an old thing and I just didn't know you
Ashley saying she likes a southern accent 😻 never in my life heard anyone say that.
17:14 toxic relationships are either the easiest breakups or the absolute worst, there is no middle ground
Concerning Voting- The Senate ratified the Right to Marriage Act yesterday- 61-37. Now the bill heads to the House where it will be approved, then on to Biden to be signed! Once this happens the Supreme Court can't override Gay Marriage! Nice to have a victory!
This is my new absolute favorite podcast. I've known for years im bi but I have been internally exploring recently and this podcast is so comforting
27:31 I think I made my best friend after asking them to the homecoming dance this year. Like I don’t think I have ever felt closer to anyone even though it didn’t work out as a romantic relationship I just had a thirty minute conversation with her, which I’ve never done before. And I may be a little bit in love with them but that’s fine. It’s cool. A platonic relationship is really what I need no matter how much I yearn for a romantic one.
@Ville Your mom didn’t think so
It’s been 2 weeks, Ashley went from 77k to 266k 😮! Get ittttttt! 15:28
Lmao, the bag in the back of Ashley’s room. I laughed out loud I’m sorryHAHAHAHAH
southerner checking in….accent is just a littttttle bit cute 🤣
I’m going through my first heartbreak currently. It’s rough, this has been great advise! I ended up taking on an additional part time job to keep my mind busy and that has been a huge help! It forced me to manage my time, forced me out of myself, I felt productive. Everyone’s different tho
"I will kill the spider but... I will scream like a little girl for one second before I kill it."
That is one of the best descriptions of my gender I have ever heard and I will be using it regularly. Don't worry, I will make sure listeners know it came from you, Ashley, and this podcast! Thanks!
Franchement j'adore ! C'est mon rendez vous de la semaine. 😉 vous avez des fans jusqu'en Nouvelle Calédonie 🇳🇨🏳️🌈
I needed this more than you know. Laughing is so healing
i love you guys sm, i always listen when im feeling really bad, a good laugh always makes me feel less overwhelmed ❤
I can confirm you're killing the shorts. I don't use yt shorts often so my algorithm is pretty mainstream but it's how I found you!
10:00
I'm the person who is friends with the spider. Puts it in a cup and takes it outside.
obsessed with how funny you guys are and that you can also be so serious and deep
If voting was done online, GenZ would rule the world.
Really love the dynamic on this pod. I think you all should plug your other outlets! Who wouldn’t want more content from you all. You all are hilarious
This podcast has been so amazing to listen to so far. This dynamic trio is incredible! I adore Alayna so much and I love listening to you in this format, I could listen to you talk endlessly
This is very helpful. I recently found out one girl I like has a boyfriend, and one of my best friends is dating a previous crush that I hadn’t gotten over. I was really just avoiding this girl as much as I could, but now it’s pretty much impossible.
Good to see a new episode :) Makes my day!
omg omg proud aussie moment, if you get brooke blurton on here, ill have a smile from ear to ear
25:10 definitely. I became over dependent and giving that space back to my partner was so tough. But they need the space even when living together.
258k, Ashley!!!???!!! CONGRATS! 🤾♀️🎆🏆 Just chkd when u mentioned "70k subscribers" & my jaw dropped at where u are now. Been a sub forever. So happy 4u!😛💜
rewatching this, i am realizing how much i see alayna as my queer mum
i cant get enough of this... love you guys
Thank you for saying the brown eye thing. I am blonde with blue eyes and everyone says how they like that combination but honestly brown hair and brown eyes is so freaking pretty
You three are pure magic together!!🥰🔥🪄
three months past my wlw breakup and I am dying this helps a ton still!!! thank you always mwah mwah
I'm so glad this podcast exists :D
Hearing you all talk about how bad your heartbreaks work makes me wonder whether it's actually what I and quite a few of my friends have claimed about friendship breakups often being just as devastating as romantic breakups, because there's not that biochemical component (I think). Makes me wonder whether it's an ace and/or aro thing, since I am ace and arospec and most of the people I've talked with about that are also either or both of those.
I'm currently going through my first true queer heartbreak from a queerplatonic relationship and while I was sad and cried in the months *before* the breakup happened because I saw us drifting apart and noticed they needed space for their mental health and things I couldn't give them as a long-distance partner, I've been strangely "stable" during and after we actually talked about it. It was all very calm and we're still friends, still talk now and then, basically the kindest way it could have happened, but I can't believe it would actually affect me so little because that makes it seem like I didn't actually care about the relationship. So my working theory is that I'm subconsciously repressing everything because I can't afford to lose my concentration because of sad feelings and processing, since I've got a master's thesis and internship and other research papers and presentations on my plate while still recovering from a burnout. So I should probably find *less* distraction. Heartbreak is strange because I do miss them, but it feels superficial because of the lack of pain, so I wonder if I miss being in a relationship more than I miss them, because I never had someone I could talk to in the same way before them, and now we don't have that anymore.
I have only had one relationship in my life it’s a long story and she died 15 years ago suddenly. There are no words for the death of a soulmate. At times I literally felt like I was having a heart attack my heart literally hurt so bad. There were times and even still I have to remind myself I am okay it is just my grief. Dying from a broken heart is real. I never want to feel that pain again and so I have not dated or had sex since by choice partly because of the pain, mostly to heal and life events made it harder to heal. I am a strong person and always have been for everyone in my life so I got through it but it took longer than expected. Love is addictive and why everyone wants to stay in the honeymoon phase because we love that rush of happy chemicals in the brain. It is also why recovering addicts are strongly advised not to date in the first year because they would be trading one addiction for another. Or it use to be that way not sure if it still is.
I went through alcoholic withdrawal as a baby. The doctor prescribed it for my mom along with bed rest another long story hahaha. I do not remember it but my body does. So when around alcohol other then wine I shake at the smell and my body hurts. It is such a fucked up feeling. Sadly it did not occur to them I was going through withdrawal so I was left to just go through it. So yeah this was a great episode and thank you all for sharing!
Oh and Mak I am with you I could listen to Alayna say sorry all day!!! My late wife’s eyes were brown 🥰 when she was happy they were a really light brown that was soooo beautiful but she mostly had dark brown eyes and they were just as beautiful! To all you brown eyed people your eyes are beautiful too! 💙
every time i open youtube i get one of your shorts 💚💚💚
Dude! Hell yeah platonic intimacy! So stoked that that was brought up! It's so important!
I just enjoy watching these three talk about the bachelorette to 9/11 jokes. This podcast is so real and fresh. And I would spend my rest days listening to them.