The #1 Thing You Can Do When a Man Won't Commit

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  • Опубліковано 27 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 68

  • @BernMendez
    @BernMendez  Рік тому +6

    [Take My Free Quiz]: What's the #1 Reason You're Single: bit.ly/youresinglequiz

  • @Avoid_Low_Frequency
    @Avoid_Low_Frequency Рік тому +18

    Your advice has helped me walk away from the thing that could not ever give me what I desired

  • @helenbraswell1272
    @helenbraswell1272 Місяць тому +2

    Thank you, I needed to hear this. I’ve been no contact for 2 weeks now

    • @BernMendez
      @BernMendez  Місяць тому

      Glad you found this helpful.

  • @cloudslady3400
    @cloudslady3400 7 місяців тому +4

    Bro you nailed it on the lack mentality reason…I still think and my life proves it that I won’t be that secure again..I’ve NEVER met a guy that isn’t abusive in any way…and in fact communication with him tends to go so smoothly…my boundaries are never crossed…he is truly a very kind human and someone I feel tons of safety around…
    but I just accept that he isn’t happy enough or satisfied with the entirety of our relationship he wants something different but he’s scared he won’t find that and end up losing me too…so he is staying until the better comes !! I broke up with him…I wish him that ideal relationship he’s seeking..my peace was worth it ❤❤

  • @charlieosko4151
    @charlieosko4151 Рік тому +25

    Thankyou for articulating the reason I left my ex. Being dazzled by the pool but no kitchen is a perfect analogy.

    • @BernMendez
      @BernMendez  Рік тому +3

      You're welcome, glad you liked that analogy : )

  • @Borinquena1973
    @Borinquena1973 Рік тому +9

    Boy, I’ve been thinking about this video since I watched it on my commute to work. What I love about your videos is that there is no anger or vindictiveness that goes along with making decisions to part ways with someone. Too many people on social media, today are spitting fire, encouraging people to ghost and to block and to cut off when in reality, it could be that two people just are on different pages and you part ways in a civil way even With the possibility of staying friends and reconnecting later after things can be thought through. Sometimes in the beginning of every relationship, we are so obsessed with the person we can’t be apart, and we could never see ourselves being away from them, and we compromise and adjust to keep them. But after a while, if you do the self work you realize that you should really stick to what you want because the other person With their inaction and indecision is sticking to what they want. If these are discussions, we’ve had in the past, it shouldn’t be a shock when you say it’s time to go your own way.

    • @BernMendez
      @BernMendez  Рік тому +1

      Thank you so much for your thoughtful share. I'm grateful you found my channel and hope it's giving you a new perspective on what's possible. Big hug!

  • @Sparksflymich
    @Sparksflymich Рік тому +29

    DELUSIONAL OPTIMISM OMG YES THAT IS MEEEEE

    • @BernMendez
      @BernMendez  Рік тому +3

      Hopefully not for long ;)

    • @Aqm917
      @Aqm917 Рік тому

      Me right now 😩

  • @sjgbrighton
    @sjgbrighton 7 місяців тому +2

    Thank you. Brilliant video. You made me cry. I just ended a 7 month thing with someone who I connect with very deeply but for some reason he feels scared. I had to walk away. We are both very upset.

    • @sophiamears9329
      @sophiamears9329 5 місяців тому

      stay away too, you'll feel tempted at times to go back. you got this

  • @shellydavis7684
    @shellydavis7684 2 місяці тому +1

    This message is a GEM ! ❤❤❤ THANK YOU !

    • @BernMendez
      @BernMendez  2 місяці тому

      Glad you found this useful : )

  • @elizabethf8078
    @elizabethf8078 Рік тому +8

    You're a treasure. I think in pictures and love the imagery you use.

    • @BernMendez
      @BernMendez  Рік тому +1

      Thank you so much Elizabeth. I'm glad the images help you get the message of the video 😀

  • @jeanniefelix6534
    @jeanniefelix6534 Рік тому +8

    What it is, he's nothing serious, ur just for his comfort, nothing more

  • @lunas2551
    @lunas2551 Рік тому +6

    I love the perspective of thinking about how our future self would approach this now 💗

  • @dawnm9161
    @dawnm9161 Рік тому +12

    Social Media Dating Sites make it to easy for men to not want to make the effort. And I feel it's to easy for people to present themselves falsely. How do you know when presenting 12:18 youself in all honestly to know the other person is as well?
    Why does finding love have to be so difficult? Love shouldn't be so hard. But everyone seems to be searching for it.

    • @BernMendez
      @BernMendez  Рік тому +3

      The only way to know the other person is real is through experience and getting to know them.

  • @De_Los_Her
    @De_Los_Her Рік тому +10

    You always nail it 🎯

  • @celiaescalante
    @celiaescalante Рік тому +6

    The hard part is to look at things objectively.

  • @Megs658
    @Megs658 Рік тому +3

    This is the best video I’ve seen on this topic. Very helpful!!

  • @reneesmith5403
    @reneesmith5403 8 місяців тому +1

    This is a great eye-opener. Thank you for this topic and video and your words and guidance.

    • @BernMendez
      @BernMendez  8 місяців тому

      Glad it was helpful, Renee. ;)

  • @reemsaif3105
    @reemsaif3105 Рік тому +7

    For now am choosing the silence of the universe until am feeling healthy from the inside out.

  • @emmacowles50
    @emmacowles50 Рік тому +1

    Such a helpful analysis thankyou!

  • @deannapaquet4638
    @deannapaquet4638 Рік тому +6

    Bern, you dah man

    • @BernMendez
      @BernMendez  Рік тому +1

      Deanna, Thanks for your kind words. Hope you found the video useful : )

  • @theartistjodievans
    @theartistjodievans Рік тому +2

    Thank you! 🙏🏼

  • @MsUnknown007
    @MsUnknown007 Рік тому +3

    Damn u are spot on …its scary

    • @beestreet9996
      @beestreet9996 Рік тому

      The women of 50 years ago would never put up with a man being all sweet and then suddenly pulling away and then coming back around when they think the coast is clear because the women didn't put up with that the men didn't do it the men have no standards now they're just having a free for all and they're laughing at us women behind our backs so ladies wise up please please please wise up

  • @christrinder1255
    @christrinder1255 Рік тому +6

    I think a guy who you’re “that sexually attracted to” initially in a relationship is a red flag….and boy have I chosen to ignore those 🚩🚩🚩 I’m now looking for someone that at first I really like as an individual…..…as well as not being actually unattracted of course…..and hopefully the desire to have sexually intimacy with them …..will grow as a relationship does ….

    • @BernMendez
      @BernMendez  Рік тому +5

      I don't think being sexually attracted to someone is a red flag. I do think that not being able to wait can cause devastating consequences though : )

  • @derserval
    @derserval Рік тому +4

    1:55 NO MORE HALL PASSES wow wtf - this comes out ON THE DAY I ASK CHATGPT ABOUT HIS COMMITMENT LEVEL WTF 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

    • @BernMendez
      @BernMendez  Рік тому +2

      Glad this was helpful. Have a kind and compassionate conversation with him.

  • @Goldilocks444
    @Goldilocks444 2 місяці тому +1

    True he won’t call me his girlfriend lol over two years so I said he can take time out think over it as I’m not continue a sexual relationship anymore without the commitment and title. He may never come back and that’s ok because I finally see my worth and I’m a three course meal and he treated me like the dessert. 🍨 I’m way more than delicious. I’m not broken I’m stronger. I love him but I love myself more now.

  • @jenniferlorence185
    @jenniferlorence185 Рік тому +7

    He's Breadcumming her; that's Cruelty.

    • @BernMendez
      @BernMendez  Рік тому +3

      The good thing is she can say, “no more” :)

  • @celiaescalante
    @celiaescalante Рік тому

    I don't want him back. I don't want to care about him at all. He tried to get back into my life. We aren't even in a relationship. He probably read old things I wrote to him.

  • @lee8797
    @lee8797 Рік тому

    Who says I want to get out of it?

  • @Sparksflymich
    @Sparksflymich Рік тому +1

    new subscriber here!

  • @terriesbrook
    @terriesbrook Рік тому +2

    i don't want to go to a gala with or without him
    not my thing

    • @BernMendez
      @BernMendez  Рік тому +5

      Haha, it's a metaphor for allowing a man to get all the benefits without commitment...

  • @musicas8549
    @musicas8549 Рік тому +2

    Best advise ever. ❤thank you.

  • @catherinenzungnjume7822
    @catherinenzungnjume7822 11 місяців тому +1

    😢😢😢

    • @BernMendez
      @BernMendez  11 місяців тому

      Thanks for watching.

  • @maggiehaines2203
    @maggiehaines2203 Рік тому +10

    Why would u give a guy wife status when he keeps u as just the girlfriend for years and years Diamond ring Standard Only 🎁🔑❤️

    • @Antoinette-dl1by
      @Antoinette-dl1by Рік тому

      I make myself wife material by doing all the wifely things and the men included my husband that I've separated from have certainly enjoyed themselves by allowing me to financially support them and give sex anytime and be not nagging or dependent.
      I've wasted and (still is) nearly 30 years of my life.
      I want out but....,.
      Fear of being by myself
      Thinking this is the best I can get
      Thinking that I should be in a relationship
      Wanting to be loved and appreciated
      Want to feel needed
      Etc.
      My life story.
      But I really want a successful relationship and I am praying for one

    • @overlordextras
      @overlordextras 9 місяців тому

      Get out huni you are worth more you are doing everything on your own so go have a good rest of your life ❣️ ​@@Antoinette-dl1by

  • @northofyou33
    @northofyou33 10 місяців тому

    Yeah, he's breadcrumbing me all over the place. I don't want the silence of the universe! In my age group there aren't many single men. Yikes!

    • @BernMendez
      @BernMendez  10 місяців тому +1

      Make a different choice, you can do this.

    • @greaterishe7197
      @greaterishe7197 5 місяців тому

      ​@@BernMendezAnd that choice was I chose ME.