I Can’t Afford My Daughter’s Birthday Party!

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  • Опубліковано 23 сер 2024
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 946

  • @saralange1230
    @saralange1230 7 місяців тому +43

    I had pizza with my 3 friends for my quinceañera… I didn’t die, life is good…

  • @rosmac8431
    @rosmac8431 8 місяців тому +340

    I'm Mexican and my daughter just turned 15, she only had a small party with her friends at home, the same when me and my sister turned 15 in Mexico, we only had small parties at home when most of the girls had big parties (even poor girls), they cost as much as a wedding, instead my dad gave me and my sister money to start a bank account to learn to save money. In Spanish we say "these people threw away the house through the window" which means they spent money they didn't have just to impress everybody else. My parents did not care about social pressure or the "culture".

    • @dudeorduuude5211
      @dudeorduuude5211 8 місяців тому +33

      Sounds like your parents are very wise. To me, that is exactly how this should be done. Why blow the money on 1 day, when you were given a start, tools, for a lifetime.

    • @satyannair4837
      @satyannair4837 8 місяців тому

      Well, you did celebrate the day, didn't you? That means you DID care about the "culture." And that's a good thing, because a lot of Godless liberals don't have "culture", which is why they focus their energies on things that no one elsewhere in the world ideally gives a hoot about.

    • @JustinCase780
      @JustinCase780 8 місяців тому +17

      Plenty of people make an amazing 15 fiesta in a public park with a parrilla, balloons, etc. It's actually more fun than a formal event for everyone.

    • @derekd1510
      @derekd1510 8 місяців тому +20

      Exactly. This is not really about Hispanic culture. A quincenera does not have to be grossly expensive. This is about a selfish and materialistic woman trying to impress her selfish and materialistic peers, reinforce those characteristics in her daughter, and spite her ex husband.

    • @retirementbudgettravel699
      @retirementbudgettravel699 8 місяців тому +7

      Well done!! You have awesome parents!! 🌷

  • @zzzarkka
    @zzzarkka 7 місяців тому +20

    My sister wanted a car instead. Parents got her a $8k car.
    Way better than a one day 15k party.

  • @gdolly166
    @gdolly166 8 місяців тому +288

    I am Hispanic and even at 15 I knew this was a total waste of money. We opted out. Put $ towards education/car. Pretty much a wedding style party, such a waste.

    • @derekd1510
      @derekd1510 8 місяців тому +13

      Traditionally, the quincenera was not just a girl's birthday celebration, but her "coming out" announcement. As in, her formal announcement of availability for marriage. It was important to make it an event that the most well to do men in the community would find acceptable to attend, thus attracting for her the best possible suitors. With today's Instagirls, it may be not so important anymore...lol.

    • @charleenmerced9451
      @charleenmerced9451 8 місяців тому +13

      I opted out of the party. We all went in a week long cruise with several other classmates. Best spent money. Had a blast and made great memories with my family.

    • @jungersrules
      @jungersrules 8 місяців тому +5

      I was just wondering how many Hispanics do it. How many people do you think are all in, verses those like you who opted out? I just find quinceañeras fascinating! It's almost like the budget of a wedding?!

    • @MNcoquicoqui
      @MNcoquicoqui 5 місяців тому +2

      There was a 100k Quinceanera that prior to Covid was on the news paper. Girl was gifted a 40k vehicle. 40k!!!!

    • @rustyshackleford6637
      @rustyshackleford6637 5 місяців тому

      I'm Mexican too

  • @Abelram1153
    @Abelram1153 8 місяців тому +17

    I am hispanic, I am a pastor that does the religious part of the 15añera. I have done many of them.
    There is 0 justification to spend 15k on one. Not even 5k.
    Actually, a 15añera is not even needed! Please, please do not spend your savings on this.

  • @rudyeksh8217
    @rudyeksh8217 8 місяців тому +82

    Nobody is going to remember 3 hour party 15 years from now. But they will remember blowing 15k

    • @milofonbil
      @milofonbil 8 місяців тому +4

      The daughter will remember blowing 15k on the party. When she turns 16, she will expect another 15-20k on a new car. When she turns 17 ... when she graduates ... when she gets married... etc.

    • @amireallythatgrumpy6508
      @amireallythatgrumpy6508 8 місяців тому +1

      They probably won't remember anything.

    • @PepeToTheMooon
      @PepeToTheMooon 8 місяців тому +1

      It’s going to be 100 likes on instagram, then it’ll be completely forgotten about.

    • @TumblinWeeds
      @TumblinWeeds 2 місяці тому

      Really? Most people remember their weddings. It’s a once in a lifetime event. I agree it might not be worth $15k but it’s a stretch to say they won’t remember

    •  2 місяці тому

      Is just because American can’t party. I still remember those parties, they were great. We could had a good time with a lot less anyways.

  • @jumpiam8477
    @jumpiam8477 7 місяців тому +34

    I never have a birthday party in my entire life and I'm ok with it. Just spend time with my family is enough. My BD is the day I celebrate my mom achivement in giving birth of me. So I usually take her out for dinner, give her a hug and tell her that I love her. 😊

  • @RCGuitar982
    @RCGuitar982 8 місяців тому +106

    "I can't afford to do this but will do it anyway because I don't want to be judged by people who don't get a vote"

    • @Scarface_445
      @Scarface_445 8 місяців тому +12

      You ain’t never been judged by the Mexican tias 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @patriciagazey4693
      @patriciagazey4693 8 місяців тому

      I bet​@@Scarface_445

    • @dyates6380
      @dyates6380 8 місяців тому +1

      Exactly. This guy and his money are easily parted, as you can tell.

    • @TonyCox1351
      @TonyCox1351 8 місяців тому +4

      My wife’s family is Mexican but fortunately they are poor so we don’t have to worry about any of this kind of shit 😂

    • @satyannair4837
      @satyannair4837 8 місяців тому

      Well, you forgot the daughter. You forget a woman's ability to influence and brainwash her children, particularly daughters, against their father. Refusing to pay would be easily used by the ex-wife to poison her daughter's mind.

  • @edhcb9359
    @edhcb9359 8 місяців тому +83

    Same daughter and ex-wife will be coming to him for a wedding he can’t afford in a few years. 😂

  • @Ka_Gg
    @Ka_Gg 7 місяців тому +24

    This guy sounds like he's scared to tell his ex wife and daughter "no".

  • @Chet_24
    @Chet_24 7 місяців тому +32

    Whatever happened to being a parent and telling your child 'no'?

    • @DMS20231
      @DMS20231 Місяць тому +3

      Move to the U.S. and do what we do with our daughters when they’re 15: buy them a present, kiss them on the forehead while telling them you love them, and eat cake.

  • @VMayB
    @VMayB 8 місяців тому +100

    I’m glad Rachel showed sensitivity towards the different cultural expectations on celebrating birthdays, weddings, etc. It’s never ok to drown in debt over celebrations but, there’s no right way to spend on a party.

    • @gpeg3076
      @gpeg3076 7 місяців тому +9

      Yes there is a right way to spend on a party. If you have it you spend it, if you don't have it you don't

    • @SilvD3X
      @SilvD3X 7 місяців тому +4

      There's always a right way. It's called discussion and budget, like 2 adults with a kid. No right way when there's more that 1 kid (a parent)

    • @saralange1230
      @saralange1230 7 місяців тому +4

      Yes, there is a right way… budget for it!

    • @DDDD-of3hv
      @DDDD-of3hv 5 місяців тому +1

      geezz stoopidity like your statements shouldn't shock me...... right way to spend is.... if you can pay for it, you can afford it, if you can't pay for it, you can't afford it.... VERY basic..... you are NOT the government that gets unlimited spending

    • @sierra7534
      @sierra7534 Місяць тому

      I feel bad for Latinos. There is massive, massive, massive pressure to throw a full on wedding for a daughter's sweet 15. It's crazy. I was at one earlier this year that was easily $20k and that was the third one I've been to that was nicer than my wedding

  • @symlexbrn5396
    @symlexbrn5396 8 місяців тому +83

    It's the opposite case with my daughter, she refused a party and just asked to go for bowling with her friends, the whole event with their food and drinks was very affordable.

    • @wreckers_band8825
      @wreckers_band8825 8 місяців тому +7

      Yep, I asked my daughter whether she wanted a quinceañera party at home with her friends or plane tickets to go back home and hang out with her cousins for a week. She chose the plane tickets.

    • @talyahr3302
      @talyahr3302 7 місяців тому +2

      Same. My parents wanted to give me a sweet 16 and I refused.

  • @thomasjorge4734
    @thomasjorge4734 7 місяців тому +21

    My Wife kept our Wedding costs to $1,500.00. She is FANTASTIC!

  • @luispatino3180
    @luispatino3180 8 місяців тому +167

    Last quince i went to cost close to 100k. They didnt tell us it was, but after recently getting married and knowing costs of venues and vendors and guest headcount, it had to be at least $250 per person who was there. It was a one day event, and done. It still boggles me how someone can blantantly spend that much on essentially a glorified birthday party.

    • @ignitionSoldier
      @ignitionSoldier 8 місяців тому +13

      Wow! That is absurd. Why not put that money in a custodial brokerage and save for her future? The decisions some people make are baffling.

    • @ebonneenelson2325
      @ebonneenelson2325 8 місяців тому

      😮😮😮😮

    • @tdgdbs1
      @tdgdbs1 8 місяців тому +12

      Must be cartel's money.

    • @bigcahuna42366
      @bigcahuna42366 8 місяців тому +2

      They probably participated in looting some higher end retail shops to "pay" for it

    • @Ladymac-eq9rz
      @Ladymac-eq9rz 8 місяців тому +2

      We all are a particular age once. Crazy you spend that kind of money and 5yrs after that you’re struggling. Worth it?

  • @JustinCase780
    @JustinCase780 8 місяців тому +71

    Her dress and invited friends are the most important. Forget renting an expensive venue, and overpriced restaurant, etc. You can do an amazing special 15 party for $1K.

    • @oldhag2881
      @oldhag2881 8 місяців тому +9

      The expensive parties are for the parents' bragging rights.

    • @JustinCase780
      @JustinCase780 8 місяців тому +2

      @@oldhag2881 Not at all. It's for their daughter.

    • @Sunflwrbtch
      @Sunflwrbtch 8 місяців тому

      I could do it for $300

    • @alisons9740
      @alisons9740 7 місяців тому +1

      Her dress alone could easily cost over $3K. It’s no joke. Important to define priorities and be practical. Teach her good financial management more important than a big party, but do both. 💃🏻

    • @JustinCase780
      @JustinCase780 7 місяців тому +1

      @@alisons9740 Are you high? 3K? 😂

  • @Cathy-xi8cb
    @Cathy-xi8cb 8 місяців тому +136

    NO mention of how the wife and daughter can hold him hostage emotionally with this? This is a HUGE moment where the wife can twist his boundaries into him caving to equate love with money to their daughter.

    • @lexalee5795
      @lexalee5795 8 місяців тому +6

      YES!!! So sad

    • @Mr.Boring_Man
      @Mr.Boring_Man 8 місяців тому +4

      Perfectly stated.

    • @TRC19999
      @TRC19999 8 місяців тому +1

      She said she’ll pay half. While going thru a divorce with him. That promise is as good as Joe saying he’ll payback everyone’s studentloans.

    • @lexalee5795
      @lexalee5795 8 місяців тому

      @@TRC19999 🤣😂🤣😂🤣 I’m cracking up! So True

    • @barnabusdoyle4930
      @barnabusdoyle4930 8 місяців тому +9

      And set the precedent to have both the ex and daughter be able to do this again for other milestones. New car for getting the driver license, graduation party or trip to Europe, and so on

  • @bigcahuna42366
    @bigcahuna42366 8 місяців тому +75

    A $120K income living in LA with dependents is classified as just barely middle class, if not lower than that. A $15K birthday party with not much money saved isn't something that is reachable for people in his economic status.

    • @HoneyDooDoo
      @HoneyDooDoo 8 місяців тому +3

      Traditionally the girl is suppose to ask relatives to become “god-parents” and cover certain items of the event. This would reduce the finally costs by 60-70%.

    • @daveblackman816
      @daveblackman816 8 місяців тому +4

      That’s what people aren’t understand. And he’s going thru a divorce on top of that. Even if he agrees to pay half (which is doubtful) that’s way too much for him.

    • @ptulip
      @ptulip 8 місяців тому +4

      Agreed. Problem is mother will throw a fit and be upset. Which will make the daughter upset and she'll think her dad doesn't love her. The divorce is worse than the price of this party. I would give her 3K if he really can, and put a limit on it.

    • @daveblackman816
      @daveblackman816 8 місяців тому +4

      @@ptulip and it’s bad enough he already sounds like a pushover. That divorce is going to take so much from him, alone. Yet alone, the party.

    • @ALo-yv2pj
      @ALo-yv2pj 8 місяців тому +2

      @@ptulipLol I forgot all about the Mothers side😂 yeah, this is gonna get ugly.

  • @barrbarr31u
    @barrbarr31u 8 місяців тому +136

    This crap drives me nuts in my Mexican American culture. We wil go into debt to spend 15k on one night for a teen girl and then when college time rolls around they have to borrow and go into student debt or have a car ro drive. It's ass backwards and when O bring it up folls say things like "Well, it's tradition." So silly.

    • @tdgdbs1
      @tdgdbs1 8 місяців тому +4

      Not just here, I am living in Mexico and seeing people go in to debt for the most ridiculous "traditions"; one savior is most Mexican's houses are paid for.

    • @Mansini77
      @Mansini77 8 місяців тому

      Funny thing is, most girls that live in Mexico probably don’t have quinces because the family can’t afford it. It’s the Chicanas that live here in States that get the quinces because her dad is a roofer or carpenter working 80 hours a week and will bend over backwards for his kids.

    • @EJleon96
      @EJleon96 8 місяців тому +3

      I’ll be having a traditional “Mexican wedding” no bachelors party, no groomsmen/ bridesmaids, and a simple and sweet Catholic wedding with tacos at the reception. I’ll have a more meaningful wedding for half the cost😂 sure our 15s can get out of hand but at least our weddings aren’t ridiculously blown out of proportion

    • @derekd1510
      @derekd1510 8 місяців тому +2

      Traditionally, the quincenera was not just a girl's birthday celebration, but her "coming out" announcement. As in, her formal announcement of availability for marriage. It was important to make it an event that the most well to do men in the community would find acceptable to attend, thus attracting for her the best possible suitors. With today's Instagirls, it may be not so important anymore...lol.

    • @John-du2mq
      @John-du2mq 8 місяців тому +7

      Then she gets pregnant 1 or 2 years later and needs help and money for that

  • @alladreamwedreamed
    @alladreamwedreamed 7 місяців тому +46

    For those who don't know, the quiňce is a HUGE deal, on par with a wedding in scale and scope. I can feel in this dad's voice that he wants the best for his daughter and is pained to not easily be able to afford the quiñce she hopes for. I hope they can all come to a good solution and still have a great party.

    • @Drenwickification
      @Drenwickification 7 місяців тому +14

      Yeah but a lot of people want nice fancy weddings but shouldn’t have them if they can’t afford them. This kind of stuff is just stupid, spending that much on what is a party is just insane if you’re not very wealthy imo.

    • @baiqi44
      @baiqi44 7 місяців тому +5

      No event of any kind should ever take place if it puts someone (such as a close family member) in great financial stress. There are much smarter things to spend money on and this is not one of them. Weddings also shouldn't be one of them if the person/people paying for it is going to get into a lot of financial stress.

    • @GlassJack
      @GlassJack 7 місяців тому +5

      It's not a "huge" deal. It's a silly tradition that clearly has this dad under a lot of pressure. Blow your money on whatever you want, as long as you have the money.

    • @jessicalopez9629
      @jessicalopez9629 7 місяців тому +1

      My daughters quince is in 3 years and 3 months and we started saving this month. It will cost around $15,000. It is a huge deal in the Hispanic community more than weddings where we live as most don't have weddings but will have a quince. I'm just glad I have 1 girl I have a friend with 4 girls. Also we are doing diy things and 3 other people will be pitching in to help pay for a few parts.

  • @LetsGoYall
    @LetsGoYall 8 місяців тому +20

    Some people just cannot say the word "No"........

  • @Jdonaleshen
    @Jdonaleshen 8 місяців тому +37

    I understand these are cultural parties but watching the TikTok videos of them is mind blowing! I didn’t even have a wedding 1/2 as elaborate as these events.

    • @stevenporter863
      @stevenporter863 8 місяців тому +5

      The diamond industry made the diamond engagement ring costing three months salary tradition too. Just because it is tradition it doesn't get a blank check

    • @Jdonaleshen
      @Jdonaleshen 8 місяців тому

      @@stevenporter863100% and that is why I have a zirconia … and also have an emergency fund

  • @whitneyw.7919
    @whitneyw.7919 8 місяців тому +118

    I gotta be honest I make a lot, and I could definitely afford the party but without a principal I would never do that because I don’t want my kids to feel spoiled and entitled, put that 10k in a college fund, and when she’s 30, she will be far more grateful if she’s reasonable at all

    • @derekd1510
      @derekd1510 8 місяців тому +6

      Traditionally, the quincenera was not just a girl's birthday celebration, but her "coming out" announcement. As in, her formal announcement of availability for marriage. It was important to make it an event that the most well to do men in the community would find acceptable to attend, thus attracting for her the best possible suitors. With today's Instagirls, it may be not so important anymore...lol.
      FYI: It's "principle"

    • @Aki_Lesbrinco
      @Aki_Lesbrinco 8 місяців тому +5

      It's not. We live in modern times, women don't need to announce that they are of a suitable age to have marry. They can, you know, meet people until they find the one, like most of us do.

    • @adrianaespanarecio1687
      @adrianaespanarecio1687 8 місяців тому

      ⁠​⁠​⁠@@derekd1510 What’s the principle? Coming out announcement? This is not the Gilded Age who have old money and marry within social classes.

    • @derekd1510
      @derekd1510 8 місяців тому

      @@adrianaespanarecio1687 I believe the OP principle was, "don't spoil your child so they grow up to be principled, not entitled and materialistic." Plus, girl's have Instagram now. They don't need quinceneras anymore...LoL!

    • @kurtjames9487
      @kurtjames9487 8 місяців тому +1

      ​@@derekd1510lol. The principle and tradition are both GONE at this point.

  • @TheSafetyMarshalPSF
    @TheSafetyMarshalPSF 8 місяців тому +27

    If you have to ask you cant afford it. Kids DONT understand the value of 15k because on social media it looks like everyone just has it. IM planning my wedding now and my fiance gave me a budget (cash we do not believe in debt) and i laughed at him and told him i will use less than half of it. Id rather go without and have a simple ceremony.

  • @dking1362
    @dking1362 8 місяців тому +12

    Years ago I was invited to a lavish party for a BABY! The parents were Puerto Rican; Mom was 16. It was a rental hall, full-out band, alcohol - the words. All in honor of his christening. Insane.

  • @Jch833
    @Jch833 8 місяців тому +40

    How do parents even ALLOW their children to expect this type of stuff? What in the living HECK, dude?!!!

    • @PharmersConsulting
      @PharmersConsulting 5 місяців тому

      Exactly you creste a financial awareness and culture in your home that sets the tone in advance and means no one brings up ridiculous demands

  • @RafaelHernandez-vt8fu
    @RafaelHernandez-vt8fu 8 місяців тому +26

    As a father of two little girls I can emphasize with this dad. Wants to give the world to his girl but knows it’s not the right call right now. Shame on the mother holding him hostage to this. I hope the daughter understands later on in life what a caring and loving father she has. It’s obviously weighing on him.

    • @sandrab.3538
      @sandrab.3538 7 місяців тому

      And if the father is able to have an open and loving conversation, the daughter will remember that and learn from it. Courage to him!

    • @neolithic3
      @neolithic3 7 місяців тому +1

      Give your daughters the world by loving them, teaching them to be strong independent and educated. Teach them how to save and invest as early as possible.

  • @ryancraig4811
    @ryancraig4811 8 місяців тому +8

    Feeding the industries that have been created around significant life/ cultural events.

  • @diggernash1
    @diggernash1 8 місяців тому +7

    You can side step the budget spiral by setting an amount and then transferring it tomorrow. I did this with my daughter's wedding. I gave her x dollars almost a year ahead of the wedding and did not allow any further discussion regarding money. I also stipulated that I was not to be brought into any planning discussions outside of my direct role.

  • @southerncoinhunter
    @southerncoinhunter 8 місяців тому +16

    I am sorry, we did my Daughter's 16th birthday for under 1k by doing our own cooking, supplied the music, hall rental decorations. We had over 100 people and had a great time

    • @warrioroflight3813
      @warrioroflight3813 8 місяців тому +2

      100 guest for under $1000? Did you feed them hot dogs from the dollar store? Why even invite so many people if you don't want to spend money?

  • @gpeg3076
    @gpeg3076 7 місяців тому +7

    The best parties sometimes are the ones that don't cost much.

  • @barryisa7353
    @barryisa7353 8 місяців тому +8

    My old coworker was a stay at home mom who went to work for a whole year to fully fund her daughters quince. I always admired Anna for that

    • @paigeangeljones
      @paigeangeljones 6 місяців тому +4

      So stupid to waste a year of life working for a one day party when they could have been spending that time in actually quality time with their daughter

  • @HHmz-rp8ht
    @HHmz-rp8ht 8 місяців тому +35

    I thought Ken would be the sound of reason to say that $10k for a birthday party is ridiculous but him and rachel didn't even bring up the idea that this shouldn't be done

    • @Richard-wl2nh
      @Richard-wl2nh 8 місяців тому +30

      I guess they didn't want to crap on someone's tradition and culture, they just danced around it.

    • @johnwilburn
      @johnwilburn 8 місяців тому +9

      1) I bet Dave was glitching over this 2) I bet Dave wishes he’d had a Hispanic host at that moment who could have ripped on it.

    • @ykook7000
      @ykook7000 8 місяців тому +3

      ​@@Richard-wl2nh exactly political correct rather than financial advice

    • @melanieb2132
      @melanieb2132 8 місяців тому +6

      It's kinda like telling brides that they shouldn't spend any money on a ring or wedding.
      Yeah, culturally, it's a right of passage.. set a high but reasonable budget and go for it

    • @MrLalasd
      @MrLalasd 8 місяців тому +2

      He did ... did you listen?

  • @BrianW211
    @BrianW211 8 місяців тому +80

    $15K for a Quinceanera? What's he gonna do when she wants a $100K wedding?

    • @sehoujay
      @sehoujay 8 місяців тому +2

      The husband and wife pay for it

    • @j800q
      @j800q 8 місяців тому

      @@sehoujayfunny

    • @amgooder
      @amgooder 8 місяців тому +1

      A BIG loan🤔🤣

    • @janetd254
      @janetd254 7 місяців тому +4

      In Hispanic culture the brides family isn’t expected to pay for weddings. The husband is to provide for the bride starting with the wedding But they may go half

    • @grammarguru554
      @grammarguru554 7 місяців тому

      Have her pay for it lol

  • @PepeToTheMooon
    @PepeToTheMooon 8 місяців тому +532

    He wants to take 15k of his savings for a glorified birthday party?? LOL it’s no wonder people drown in debt. People are hilarious.

    • @tkdevlop
      @tkdevlop 8 місяців тому +16

      Best my daughter if finance are like him is a wish & a cake from Costco

    • @Scarface_445
      @Scarface_445 8 місяців тому +33

      LMAO! Yup, that’s a quinceañera for you, it’s a planned party. With months and months of prep. 😂😂
      My family couldn’t afford it, so my parents solution: the party or braces? :)

    • @reese85
      @reese85 8 місяців тому +6

      He only has to come up with half of that amount and the mother is going to pay the other half. I see no problem with that

    • @PepeToTheMooon
      @PepeToTheMooon 8 місяців тому +32

      @@reese85 he’s going thru a divorce lol. He’s definitely gonna end up paying for all of it.

    • @ebonneenelson2325
      @ebonneenelson2325 8 місяців тому +25

      That is too much for a party

  • @robertsquared2916
    @robertsquared2916 8 місяців тому +26

    I use to work at the largest catering hall on the East Coast, the amount people are spending on Sweet 16’s is nuts. I worked a Russian one that was well over 120k.

  • @TownspersonB
    @TownspersonB 8 місяців тому +48

    It's really easy to plan big and spend money when most or all of it isn't coming from your wallet. That helps explain why the wife and daughter are so ready to plan such a big birthday party.

    • @reese85
      @reese85 8 місяців тому +6

      The ex wife agreed to pay half. Did you not listen to the call?

    • @milofonbil
      @milofonbil 8 місяців тому

      Exwife is an entitled spend-a-holic

    • @TownspersonB
      @TownspersonB 8 місяців тому +4

      @@reese85 You don't think the bill would be 1/2 or less the money if the guy didn't have to pay up?

    • @reese85
      @reese85 8 місяців тому +1

      @@TownspersonB no. I’m sure this wasn’t something that just happened out of the blue.

    • @turtleanton6539
      @turtleanton6539 8 місяців тому

      Yes😮

  • @carojames6776
    @carojames6776 8 місяців тому +8

    He should put that money away for her EDUCATION.

  • @EatMyPropwash
    @EatMyPropwash 8 місяців тому +50

    My most “expensive” birthday party was when my mom bought me and 15 friends general admission tickets to go ice skating and they all got rental skates…… and we had pizza and soda after…… $150 total. What happened to THOSE days!?

    • @johnwilburn
      @johnwilburn 8 місяців тому +1

      That sounds like so much fun! I miss those days! It was awesome being a kid in the 80s.

    • @SRTBOAT
      @SRTBOAT 8 місяців тому +1

      That sounds like a kickass party tbh.

    • @beebbeec280
      @beebbeec280 8 місяців тому +1

      Grown man… what has the world come too.

    • @georgewagner7787
      @georgewagner7787 8 місяців тому +4

      I was a kid in the 70s. I spent my sweet sixteen at slumber party.

    • @derekd1510
      @derekd1510 8 місяців тому +2

      Expensive quinceneras are not something new. Traditionally, the quincenera was not just a girl's birthday celebration, but her "coming out" announcement. As in, her formal announcement of availability for marriage. It was important to make it an event that the most well to do men in the community would find acceptable to attend, thus attracting for her the best possible suitors. With today's Instagirls, it may be not so important anymore...lol.

  • @roolyfe
    @roolyfe 8 місяців тому +14

    Dr. John’s advice McDonalds is hiring at $20 per hour! 😅

  • @patmichael8519
    @patmichael8519 8 місяців тому +22

    If I were that daughter, my parents would have had a one-word answer - NO!!!! Times sure have changed. I can't imagine why you'd spend even $1000 on a birthday party, unless you were going to a very expensive restaurant with lots of guests.

    • @leandramelo1030
      @leandramelo1030 8 місяців тому

      Exactly 😂 same here 😅

    • @OopThereItIs77777
      @OopThereItIs77777 8 місяців тому

      Times haven’t changed lol Hispanics have been doing this for forever. They’ve been telling their kids yes for years

    • @Trudloops
      @Trudloops 8 місяців тому

      I wouldn't even have raised the idea, as I knew my parents' thoughts on such events.

    • @joywebster2678
      @joywebster2678 6 місяців тому +1

      Because it's an expected cultural event based on the Presenting the "now available" daughter to her social circle for in the old days planned marriages, and family business connections. So you had to show the girl off, your hosting capabilities, it's very old world, unfortunately they've kept this wedding sized event for no reason, because they don't arrange marriages anymore. Just like Caucasians don't do expensive coming out balls at 16 except in high society. Sorry the middle class fami.ies don't scale back expectations in this new age.

  • @Mansini77
    @Mansini77 8 місяців тому +15

    Yup. I’m married to a Mexicana and our daughter’s quince cost around 18k. 15k is pretty middle of the road. As an outsider, it seems ridiculous, but it’s part of their culture. Unfortunately, the quince girls look online on instagram and TikTok looking at over the top extravagant quinces and want that for themselves. Rachel is correct, set the boundaries and limits.

    • @RepentImmediately
      @RepentImmediately 8 місяців тому +3

      I always find it interesting when people who claim to be committed to their culture don't marry within their culture 🤔 My late father was a black and was big into racial activism but, although he went through at least a dozen girlfriends after my parents' divorce, none of them were black, nor is my mother, who he was married to for 17 years.

    • @markg999
      @markg999 8 місяців тому +1

      Which is why it's usually a party for the mom to throw the kids usually don't care.

  • @kiki11974
    @kiki11974 8 місяців тому +27

    Folks need to stop going into debt for BS

    • @angel-ij4xv
      @angel-ij4xv 7 місяців тому

      exactly this is why i stay away from credit cards

  • @eurekahope5310
    @eurekahope5310 8 місяців тому +17

    A family threw an elaborate quince. A few yers later their FAFSA was around $1,000 a year. The benefits of working under the table so they can get SNAP, free medical, and state aid while soending many thousands on a party to impress their friends.

  • @chrisengletx
    @chrisengletx 8 місяців тому +2

    i love that they recognized both the divroce guilt and the cultural stuff, were sensitive to it but still held firm on the great principles of the Ramsey method. really great job guys.

  • @AmericanWears
    @AmericanWears 8 місяців тому +17

    Planned by the mother, your ex wife. It was her idea she can pay for it. I stopped having birthday parties at about 12 years old, she doesn’t need a party she’ll be okay I promise. Get her a nice gift maybe and a cake, that’s it.

    • @oldhag2881
      @oldhag2881 8 місяців тому +3

      Even without the party, I'm pretty sure she'll turn 16 next year.

  • @DisabilityExams
    @DisabilityExams 8 місяців тому +5

    "No" is a complete sentence.

  • @Mr.Boring_Man
    @Mr.Boring_Man 8 місяців тому +21

    This is culturally a big deal. I've gone to a lot of them. The divorce decree should count his contribution towards alimony. This is emotional abuse and financial abuse being done by the wife upheld by the courts. I don't envy his position as a father.

    • @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303
      @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 8 місяців тому

      The courts do not know how to do math, they just take money from one party and they give it to another. This party should be a prepayment of child support for her until 18.

    • @KS-cl8br
      @KS-cl8br 8 місяців тому +3

      no this isnt alimony or child support, college car surgury braces weddings etc all need to be accounted for ... you know this when you have a kid

  • @klt9874
    @klt9874 8 місяців тому +25

    Rachel did a great job balancing sound advice but recognizing that culturally this is important to him and his family.

    • @naomirachel9161
      @naomirachel9161 8 місяців тому +1

      Agreed

    • @ghostbird92
      @ghostbird92 8 місяців тому

      She's a lot nicer than most of us would be

    • @TonyCox1351
      @TonyCox1351 8 місяців тому +3

      “Culturally” these cultures don’t plan for retirement, and rely on their children to care for them when they grow old. And going into debt when the kid is 15 is playing into that. We need to acknowledge that not some traditions are bad and need to be dropped.

    • @milofonbil
      @milofonbil 8 місяців тому +2

      Culture is why we spend a lot of money impressing our family, friends, neighbors, church members and work colleagues. First the communion, then the quincenera, then the car, then the graduation present, then the wedding, then the baby showers, etc. Where did baby step 4 and 5 come in?

    • @klt9874
      @klt9874 8 місяців тому +1

      I think that culturally the party is a part of tradition so Rachel gave him a way to continue to do it but in a responsible way. I know that personal finance is personal and all advice does not work for everyone. There is a way to be financially responsible and do the things you value.

  • @beesknees213
    @beesknees213 8 місяців тому +15

    Mom and Dad had 15 years to figure this out.

    • @Jarlus
      @Jarlus 8 місяців тому +4

      This is real. A quinceanera by definition is not a surprise.

    • @emilyavery5970
      @emilyavery5970 8 місяців тому +2

      the divorce probably effected that savings fund. Lots of people do vindictive things during a separation

    • @milofonbil
      @milofonbil 8 місяців тому

      @@Jarlus a quinceanera is not a surprise ...hopefully all of our kids reach 15. But the expected lavishness can certainly be controlled.

  • @Operation9595
    @Operation9595 8 місяців тому +11

    The problem is that's enough money to get her at 16 years old a party, a used vehicle and plus cash in her pocket..😢

  • @tubenachos
    @tubenachos 8 місяців тому +3

    Ken with the light-hearted roast at the end 😂 ❤

  • @sierraolsen3177
    @sierraolsen3177 8 місяців тому +18

    So glad this video came up to me honestly could not imagine spending 15,000 on a birthday although I guess to me I don’t even remember my 16th birthday today. I turn 21 today my parents are making a small salad bar for my birthday maybe cost 30 bucks the greatest gift my parents have given me is helping me pay for a car and my education been moved out for / years and have 8 roommates most who have to pay for everything themselves and many who are older struggling to pay off loans as fast as possible. Thing is make it small but nice and your wife and daughter will thank you all later. So excited to have 33 credits left of graduation and 150 total credit hours enough to earn my CPA my hard work and with my parents help(they are Ramsey-ish) will lead me on this journey to become a babysteps millionaire and can retire comfortably I started watching Dave at 17 my dad said he is to extreme we will see if he laughing when I have a nice 3 bedroom house, am giving outrageously generously(I already do give now and volunteer as an org. leader at my church, but elated to give more), and have amazing retirement(plan to open a retirement account this summer where I practice as an intern the full-time life).

    • @dyates6380
      @dyates6380 8 місяців тому

      Thanks for not making it all about you. BTW, based on your spelling, punctuation and grammar, you may want to see if you can get some type of discount on some of that education you're bragging about. Third grade errors in there ......... Damn.

    • @georgewagner7787
      @georgewagner7787 8 місяців тому

      Awesome

    • @MrsEJV
      @MrsEJV 8 місяців тому

      You go, girl!

  • @misstrice84
    @misstrice84 8 місяців тому +8

    I pray he finds the courage to have difficult conversations because it sounds like there's a lot that hasn't been said in his family.

  • @TRC19999
    @TRC19999 8 місяців тому +15

    That’s just a huge waste of money. It’s a quenceanera and all, but idk of anyone who dropped that much for one. Maybe 1K max. Dude needs to look at his priorities. He’s throwing money away on one day.

    • @riceball777
      @riceball777 7 місяців тому

      with the prices of everything i cant even throw a part for a 5 year old at Chuck E cheese for $1,000.

  • @thesuperdingos
    @thesuperdingos 8 місяців тому +21

    So you’re spending 15k for some pictures that will go on instagram/facebook that will be forgotten about 2-3 days after the party. Smart.

    • @Cathy-xi8cb
      @Cathy-xi8cb 8 місяців тому +1

      These events are not only remembered, they are currency in the community. They could determine jobs, friends, even marriage partners. You don't understand that culture.

    • @thesuperdingos
      @thesuperdingos 8 місяців тому +4

      @@Cathy-xi8cbthey’re remember for how wasteful they are with that money.

    • @TRC19999
      @TRC19999 8 місяців тому +5

      @@Cathy-xi8cband then they wonder why they can’t ever get out of poverty:

    • @reese85
      @reese85 8 місяців тому

      @@TRC19999 don’t blame a onetime party he prob knew about for years on poverty

    • @TRC19999
      @TRC19999 8 місяців тому +4

      @@reese85he can spend $500 dollars on it. Not 15k of money he doesn’t truly have. She “says” she’ll split it, but yeah right.

  • @katyedwards3935
    @katyedwards3935 8 місяців тому +1

    Happy belated birthday, Josie 🎂🎉🥳🎈🍰🕯️🧁🎵🎶

  • @lexalee5795
    @lexalee5795 8 місяців тому +22

    Instead of a Quincenera, that money could be used for a nice vacation for him & his daughter or a nice cheap car for her or something. People need to get their priorities

    • @kiki11974
      @kiki11974 8 місяців тому +3

      That’s exactly what I was thinking.

    • @georgewagner7787
      @georgewagner7787 8 місяців тому +1

      She doesn't need a vacation. She needs a college fund.

    • @derekd1510
      @derekd1510 8 місяців тому

      Traditionally, the quincenera was not just a girl's birthday celebration, but her "coming out" announcement. As in, her formal announcement of availability for marriage. It was important to make it an event that the most well to do men in the community would find acceptable to attend, thus attracting for her the best possible suitors. With today's Instagirls, it may be not so important anymore...lol.

    • @lexalee5795
      @lexalee5795 8 місяців тому

      @@georgewagner7787 yes we know that! Damn! But parents want to make memories for their kids too! Damn Simpleton

  • @andresortiz560
    @andresortiz560 7 місяців тому +2

    As a Hispanic I’m telling you right now buddy you’re spending $15k on training your daughter to expect another $30k for her wedding in 10-20 years.
    Best wishes.

  • @charlesburkhart800
    @charlesburkhart800 7 місяців тому +3

    These parties and weddings are crazy expensive. That is just not sane to use that much money on something other than education.

  • @milofonbil
    @milofonbil 8 місяців тому +5

    OMG $10,000???? for the Quinceanera? According to my research -- $5,000 to $20,000. WoW That's a good part of a college education! Step 5: Save for your children’s college fund. Quinceanera or college? I would say no and say college is more important.

  • @abelvillarreal5383
    @abelvillarreal5383 8 місяців тому +2

    Quiences are basically everything a wedding reception is buy for 15yr Olds. Expensive dress, catering, dj, venue, photography etc

  • @scoobie8amg
    @scoobie8amg 8 місяців тому +2

    The venue I got married in hosts quincineras too. The events look crazy similar! 😂

  • @harrychu650
    @harrychu650 8 місяців тому +4

    The East Asian families would spend that money on academic tutoring and college savings funds. Just different priorities. Either way children become very expensive into their teenage years. It is what we signed up for as a parent, no one asked to be brought into this world. Man up...

  • @ldv02
    @ldv02 8 місяців тому +13

    I’m Puerto Rican, we do them too, we call them quinceañero. At 15 I told my mom I don’t want one, that’s ridiculous. Some of my cousins had had it and it was nonsense. I asked for a trip and was way less expensive than that. That trip was a great experience for me and opened doors for me. So glad I only have boys! 😏

    • @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303
      @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 8 місяців тому

      Oh yeah, those ceremonies. Different cultures have them. Jewish have something for the boys (Bharmitzva, sp?) . Indians have something for the boys (thread ceremony).

    • @ldv02
      @ldv02 8 місяців тому

      @@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303
      Oh yeah but going into debt for it? No way! I didn’t go into debt for my wedding

    • @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303
      @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 8 місяців тому

      @@ldv02 Is there anything in the culture that states that unless this ceremony is done, it is going to be sin for God or something? Like the clock is ticking and if the daughter turns 16, she should have had this ceremony done? If it is not that big of a deal, then yeah, I do not think one should go into debt over it. Then again, it is not like the ceremony has a mandated expenditure.

    • @ldv02
      @ldv02 8 місяців тому

      @@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 no, nothing like that. Its just celebrating that she’s becoming a woman basically. Not having the party won’t stop that from happening. You can spend whatever but ppl like to outperform others

    • @strangeroamer3219
      @strangeroamer3219 8 місяців тому

      ​@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303It actually has nothing to do with God. It's more of a Catholic tradition. They have the girl go through a little ceremony at church, and the rest of it is in the reception. You know, eating, drinking, dancing, things that have actually nothing to do with God.

  • @ideasmatter4737
    @ideasmatter4737 Місяць тому

    In my extended family those who can truly afford the big events, host a big event. Those who can’t, don’t, and we can all love and respect one another! Im so thankful for that understanding.

  • @alanbirkner1958
    @alanbirkner1958 7 місяців тому +1

    We've been to weddings that didn't cost that much. Get a room ( or a backyard) and have various people contribute dishes, rent a tent?, and have a dj. There's still
    college, and a wedding. Tina, Al's wife

  • @PInk77W1
    @PInk77W1 8 місяців тому +6

    Imagine if he put $15k in a
    S&P 500 account for his daughter
    How much she would have for retirement age

  • @DadinWA
    @DadinWA 8 місяців тому +6

    funding a kids milestone like a quinceanera, bar/bat mtitzvah's is such a tough decision. especially this guy is going thru a divorce. He wants to make sure his kid will be happy during the divorce..I've been thru this and it's such a tough call. looking back, very few kids hold a grudge how small the party was. they appreciate the effort and will understand the circumstances during that event like a divorce. thanks for sharing

    • @CynthiaIvers
      @CynthiaIvers 8 місяців тому

      it's so obvious he can't afford it though.

  • @licoreen
    @licoreen 2 місяці тому +1

    My Mexican mother-in-law was telling me about a quinceañera she had recently attended. She said the parents spent $90k. They make good money here in the US, but they got a loan to pay for part of it. She, on the other hand, always had simple backyard celebrations for all her kids’ birthdays.

  • @pattyajones
    @pattyajones 5 місяців тому

    I love when you guys address other culture's expectations with money. You educate me.

  • @Budgetznmore
    @Budgetznmore 8 місяців тому +3

    My parents didn’t waste no more than $500 in my 15th. I knew about my parents situation and I was still do not understand why my community feels like its a need 😅its crazy!

    • @AbdalMalik-ye1df
      @AbdalMalik-ye1df 8 місяців тому

      $500... lool is that the amount of love they had for you ? sad ! dont be jealous of this daughter just because her dad loves her more

  • @cmdtrigun
    @cmdtrigun 8 місяців тому +13

    Imagine feeling you have to go into debt for old cultural obligations. Sad that people are reluctant to ditch culture when it burdens them

    • @michaelc8760
      @michaelc8760 8 місяців тому

      You mean the same way people go into debt for weddings?

  • @Fred1294
    @Fred1294 8 місяців тому

    0:06 I love there faces when Jason sounds like he needs a Jumpstart 😂

  • @jennyhammond9261
    @jennyhammond9261 8 місяців тому +1

    Ken, a quinceaños is the equivalent of a wedding (as far as the party, goes, just nobod'y is getting married). There's a ceremony and then something as elaborate as a wedding reception with dj/live band, catering, decorations, a very expensive dress, etc. I'm not saying it's justified, just giving you a better idea. Jason, amigo, you gotta find some padrinos.

  • @WinS392
    @WinS392 8 місяців тому +4

    my parents probably qualified as upper middle class but i doubt they ever paid close to $1,000 for a birthday party. birthday parties for me usually meant movie tickets, pizza hut, and cake with 6-7 friends. never felt deprived. that's way more than a lot of kids get. i was surprised that the hosts didn't push back on the $3,000 number. the guy isnt a financial mess but he does need to improve his savings before spending that much IMO

  • @princessgemz271
    @princessgemz271 8 місяців тому +7

    My girl will be 15 soon as well. We are looking into the cheapest way to throw this party. No way we’re even getting close to 10-15k. Our wedding wasn’t even that expensive.

  • @PeggyGarduno
    @PeggyGarduno 3 місяці тому +1

    Any daughter worth her salt would HUMBLY accept what her family is able to do.

  • @benjaminhough8804
    @benjaminhough8804 8 місяців тому +1

    Why is this even a discussion?? 15k is absolutely absurd, mind-bogglingly incomprehensible for me to imagine. I can maybe wrap my head around a wedding, but a 16 year birthday party? Absolutely not.

  • @franciscoobregon1644
    @franciscoobregon1644 8 місяців тому +3

    I have been to many 15s and the range in cost has been from 5k to 30k, from what i heard after. Some of them could afford them, based on their jobs and homes they had, but some could definitely not. I never agreed with any of it, just don't see the point in spending so much on a birthday party. Hey if that's how they want to spend their hard earned money it's all up to them.

    • @Kennethstef
      @Kennethstef 7 місяців тому

      I totally agree that it’s their money and they can do whatever they want with it. That being said, you can clearly tell from the guys stress in his voice that he clearly is not able to afford it at least at this stage of his life.

  • @dnah02
    @dnah02 8 місяців тому +6

    Invest that 15k cancel the party do a small family get together

  • @TinMan445
    @TinMan445 2 місяці тому

    I’ll never forget the dinner where my twin sister asked what kind of car she was getting for her 16th birthday. I’ve never seen my dad laugh harder.

  • @zuhalter0071
    @zuhalter0071 7 місяців тому +1

    My wife and I wanted to get married sooner. We shopped around, and holy crap, venues are expensive!
    So, we saved our money five years for a down payment on some property, held our wedding overlooking the mountains at our new home, paid the DJ a handle of whiskey, and my Father's speach basically was "Finally!"
    But hey, we technically put all the money into us.

  • @rickwalker5203
    @rickwalker5203 8 місяців тому +4

    A cake and punch. That’s it. Save the $14k and help pay for College later.

  • @Smallvillefreak
    @Smallvillefreak 8 місяців тому +5

    Nope

  • @hollybardoe4075
    @hollybardoe4075 8 місяців тому +1

    In Chicago a Latina journalist suggested that parents, instead of funding the Quincianera, should fund college savings instead. She got death threats.

  • @nsr60ster85
    @nsr60ster85 8 місяців тому +3

    A lot of people can't afford $15,000 birthday parties for their kids. That's why they don't get one. Nor do they need it.

  • @DJRiyzen
    @DJRiyzen 8 місяців тому +7

    I paid $20 for my daughter's last birthday. It was for the pizza, and cake. 😁

    • @reese85
      @reese85 8 місяців тому

      Why are you guys so happy about being so cheap? It’s one thing if you don’t have the money but it seems like yall take pride in this smh

    • @bettysmith4527
      @bettysmith4527 8 місяців тому

      Pizza and cake for 20 bucks, highly doubt that!!

    • @AbdalMalik-ye1df
      @AbdalMalik-ye1df 8 місяців тому

      @@reese85 you will wake up one day

    • @reese85
      @reese85 8 місяців тому

      @@AbdalMalik-ye1df no it’s called I have a job and you literally have a year or years to plan for stuff like this smh

    • @reese85
      @reese85 8 місяців тому

      @@AbdalMalik-ye1df again it’s one thing if you don’t have the money but to take pride in being this cheap is ridiculous

  • @GratefulDeb270
    @GratefulDeb270 8 місяців тому +1

    Great responses! Good job! 👏

  • @cherylpeterson1
    @cherylpeterson1 2 місяці тому +1

    Get a prepaid credit card, follow/track every purchase.
    When it’s gone,
    that’s it!!!

  • @chewyskyline1394
    @chewyskyline1394 8 місяців тому +4

    I asked my daughters if they want a quinceañera just a barbecue on the backyard. Or a couple thousand dollar car that they can use .they both choose the car. I explained to them that a party is a one day thing, no one seemed to get please.

    • @Mansini77
      @Mansini77 8 місяців тому +1

      I offered my daughter a vacation to Costa Rica instread of a quince. She still wanted a quince.

  • @creolelady182
    @creolelady182 8 місяців тому +3

    This is ridiculous. Have a small party in the park on your back yard

  • @margaretsnewtoylynnparks5336
    @margaretsnewtoylynnparks5336 2 місяці тому

    Birthday / Christmas gifts-small gathering- great gift (future vacation/car/camp/redecorate room). Age appropriate! A little reality per age/event!

  • @Maurinusa
    @Maurinusa 8 місяців тому +2

    It’s amazing how much money people will blow because they overvalue the opinions and expectations of others

    • @tristan2332
      @tristan2332 8 місяців тому

      Yep it's all ego driven they can't look worse than someone else. Social media just tosses fuel on the issue.

  • @rhondavigil795
    @rhondavigil795 8 місяців тому +15

    $15,000 birthday party and zero in an education fund.

  • @gdolly166
    @gdolly166 8 місяців тому +3

    Ken the money goes towards alcohol for the adults, dj, limo, catered food, pics etc...money down the drain.

  • @SDPtor
    @SDPtor 8 місяців тому +1

    When I was 15 in 1988 my mom made me a cake and my family came over….perfect!

    • @melanieb2132
      @melanieb2132 8 місяців тому +1

      Culturally, the quinceanera is a huge deal.. like a wedding. So it will be more expensive

    • @cmdtrigun
      @cmdtrigun 8 місяців тому

      @@melanieb2132 Cultures change all the time

  • @amadoudicko552
    @amadoudicko552 8 місяців тому +2

    I wish Dave was there to answer this call 😅

  • @kevgret
    @kevgret 8 місяців тому +10

    Sounds like he doesnt know how to say no

  • @markg999
    @markg999 8 місяців тому +3

    Poverty mindset...because someone that can afford it does it and its a very small percentage of networth....another follows and they can scrounge up the money allright but its a huge percentage of networth if not all. Having the money to drop 10k on a bday party doesn't mean you actually can afford it.

    • @robr268
      @robr268 8 місяців тому +1

      With no debt...6 months of emergency fund and making 120k a year, this dude can save up 5k within a few months. The way he started this off you would think he made under 40k and had 100k debt. Just save.

    • @markg999
      @markg999 8 місяців тому

      @robr268 Possibly...they should asked him what his networth was now that would answer the question for me.

    • @robr268
      @robr268 8 місяців тому +1

      @markg999 Plus, he's from the culture....he knows the deal. He sounds defeated, and I don't know why lol