Today's video is a highly asked question from you guys! Rather than interpreting these as "rules," we suggest you take each of these ideas with a grain of salt. The intent is simply to highlight a few areas to think about before entering a relationship. We're not condemning anyone who is in a relationship and doesn't have these things all figured out. Truth is, that we're all still "figuring things out" as we go. Hope this conversation is some good food for thought! Let us know what you think below!!!
ThatChristianVlogger Hello team Justin and Emily! I am sure we are all thankful how God is using you for His church, His own body. To be honest, my schedule is a bit packed this season. Hence I am not available to watch you guys every day even I would like to. Remembering you guys, your viewers and your families in prayers. You are blessed by our Abba Father in Christ Jesus!
ThatChristianVlogger Brother in Christ! Remember it's not good to be unequally yoked, but I'll pray for you two to put Christ in the center of your relationship. 💛
Dating doesn't have to be expensive. It can be a day at the beach, a downtown tour, attending a cultural event, bike rides, hikes, or time at a museum. Imagination is more important than money.
“Just because something is good doesn’t mean we should pursue it right now. We have to remember that the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.” From the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris
I've actually never been in a relationship, never dated or kissed a girl, and I just turned 23. But what I've learned from having that kinda life was to really pay attention to all kinds of relationships, and how you're managing them.Your familial relationships, academic, friendship-based, in the workplace. All these these key relationships are also relationships God has with you as well, so that'd be my advice. Seek godlier ways to manage all these relationships, which is through your own relationship with God by the Word cause there's a few; Parent-child, Teacher-student, Counselor-patient and King-servant.
Wise? Check. Now to balance with something juvenile... hmm--AH! I got it: That face when you have when a 15-year-old says they've never kissed someone before, and you're like "Bruh, please. Get up on my level" ;)
thank you so much. thus was so helpful. I personally am 18 and a senior in high school and like ur wife was saying i see all my friends dating and with boyfriends and sometimes it makes me feel alone but also a part of me knows that its not the right time to date and to seek god first.
Ashley Mendoza I can 100% understand you. I felt the same. But I'm slowly getting more comfortable trying to build myself under God first and enjoy my life being single to the fullest, until God tells me it's time to settle down.
1) The right age preferably 20's onward 2)The best possible health 3)Schooling completed 4)Maturity 5)Experience in practical life 6)Financial stability, Most importantly to have a rich relationship with Christ and to be single and satisfied in Christ!
I'm 21, and I have never been in a relationship. I have never even held a guy's hand. I believe that I have a lot of growth left to do spiritually, emotionally, and physically before I can even consider a relationship. It has been hard not to just go for a relationship just because everyone around me has been in multiple relationships, but I don't want to start anything until I am truly ready. That being said, I have learned a lot from my limited experience and also from observing other peoples' relationships. My best advice would be to never start a relationship because you are looking for something from that other person. If you are insecure or sad, don't look for security or happiness in another human being. The same applies to friends. Look to God for help in these areas first, because God is the only one that can give you true, unconditional love and support and God is the only person who will never leave you or forsake you. Also, if you are in love with the potential that person has, don't start a relationship with them. You cannot change a person, only God can do that, and that person won't change until they make the decision to do that themselves. If you want to start a relationship with someone, be prepared to love like Jesus. That means to love them for where they are right at that moment, flaws and all. Don't be attracted to who you think they could be if you were in a relationship with them.
I agree with you on the whole "when" question. I remember thinking I was ready to date and get married when I was 18 or 19, and now that I look back, I can see that I was far from ready. Since then, I have learned a whole lot about myself, finished school, moved to a new city, started working, paid back all my student debt, built a solid network of friends and acquaintances, etc. I'm 25 now, and I just started dating a few months ago. I do believe that the experiences I had in the last few years prepared me for this relationship, and I have a good church family that supports me too. I can also see how relationships take time, and how I wouldn't have had this time when I was in university.
I've learned that it's very important to learn how to be a good friend first. I feel like the qualities it takes to develop and maintain a friendship, are a great foundation for a romantic relationship.
I completely understand what you're saying it makes logical sense. but I was 17 when I met my husband and 19 when I got married and was in college for the first two years of marriage, we prayed about it a lot and got confirmation from God. God actually used this time to make us a team and learn to put faith in him during financially hard times. I agree in theory with what you're saying but I think sometimes it doesn't just happen that way, and sometimes that not what God wants. Also yes me and my husband changed a lot in these years but we learnt to grow together.
That's awesome! I believe God can show us His power and light through difficult times! God helps us to see the silver lining in every dark situation. That's why people do a lot of growing and learning when they go through tough things!
Yep. It definitely depends on each person, specifically. Some ppl find their soul mate at 18, others at 24, and another maybe at 35. God knows what’s best for the person.
I love videos with both of you, you have such a great dynamic - so wonderful to see! And I have to mention these VEDA videos are great. I just love the casual feel of these videos. What a blessing your channel is! Many thanks!!
learning to respect others when they are talking. A huge part in affective communication is not always so much as talking but as well as effective listening. Giving others the ability , respect and space to express their point or perspective, without interruption. It's so overlooked and many people don't realize that they don't possess this necessary attribute. It builds trust and patience for you and your spouse. ☺☺ Thank you for you channel #new subbie#
This is good. Spot on in my opinion. I am 20 and just got out of a relationship knowing that I needed more Jesus in my life to be able to hold onto my identity in Him during the dating period. I feel that without a strong trusting foundation in Christ (which can take a while) it is almost inevitable that you will begin to develop a relationship based identity. And waiting for all the financial reasons, career experience, and natural development to be well balanced is such a wise choice. Awesome insight, thank you for this video.
First off, I really enjoyed this video! Since both of you asked for comments or anything else that Christians should do before dating, I have a couple things in mind that fall under personality: Myers Briggs personality types and Gary Chapman's 5 love languages. I love talking about these two things and I understand that it's not exactly required to know, but I personally feel that it is quite important to know your own and your (potential) partner's personality type and love languages to help get to know each other better. Knowing that if they these things do or don't align can help be factored in to an individual's decision to continue to pursue the other person or not.
How would you answer those who doubt God because He doesn't intervene when it comes to natural disasters, violent casualties, or just deaths/sicknesses of loved ones in general? I'm rooted enough in Christ to put my trust and faith in Him, but I don't know how to help others see things the same way/accept that there are some things we just don't understand, but He is still good. What would you suggest? :)
In my opinion, God doesn't intervene in these terrible things, but God is with us through it all. The bad things in life are there so that God can bring out the light in the darkness. God wants us to lean on him during times of struggle and allow him to give us strength. Also, a lot of evil exists because God allowed for humans to have the freedom of choice, and sometimes this freedom of choice makes room for Satan to lie, cheat, steal and destroy people. Despite this, I believe that the fact that God allows us to choose light or darkness is beautiful because it means that God loves us enough not to dictate every choice we make. It also makes the decision to follow Christ that much more meaningful. This is a lesson that was difficult to learn for me, and I do need a constant reminder of this when I see disheartening things in the news or when I'm hurting.
Michaela Azure Thanks for your response! It is an incredible gift that God gave us: free will - and it is so true that that makes choosing Christ all the more powerful! God bless, and yes, always remember all of that!
Michaela Azure Yeah, I love that we're able to connect on this level - as brothers/sisters in Christ! :) Also, you know what the crazy thing is? This video was one of the responses from God I was needing, and your comment brought me back to this video! Thanks for allowing God to work through you 😊
just like to let you know that my sister is in her 3rd year of med school and got all of her college paid for by scholarships and will be over half a million dollars in debt😬 so it is more than $300,000😉
Can you please talk about what to do after a hard break up. I been watching your videos and It gave me a reasons to brake up up with my ex. Now what's next? It's been so hard, hopefully you guys have words of wisdom.
I'm so sorry that you are going through a tough time. What always helps me when I'm going through something difficult is to draw closer to God, friends, and family. Also, to spend some time reflecting on how I can personally learn from and improve from the situation. I also tend to do things that are fun but also heal me emotionally and physically, and intellectually, like going to the gym, spending time in nature, reading a good book, or helping someone in need. Putting things into perspective is really helpful for me. When I am down, seeing those that are struggling and doing things to help them in any way I can is super healing. Spreading love and light is really important when you are going through difficulty. Use your struggles to connect with people on a deeper level and to help them through their struggles.
At the end of the day, God's in control and he will keep you and hold you! We do not need to worry about the future only the present day which God has gifted you! Furthermore, Jesus is the greatest love that you could ever have.
I have a question. Depending on the field a person may take, like myself. I plan on going to Med school and getting a residency. By the time I finish school I would be 31. Should I just wait and start my career after all of that? Or what if I meet someone during those years, for example during my residency? Also I really enjoy watch it your videos, they have really been a blessing to me, and I am learning things that I feel sometimes people are too afraid to talk about.
I and I totally get what you're saying but how do suppress that feeling to want to be with someone for so long. I am a guy and i have good principles and morals but it is just really tough ignoring how i feel.
That is a good video. It helps me a lot. Thank you for making it!! God uses you guys to speak to me to wait patiently for my future husband. I agree with the part that Christians should develop godly characters first. I am at the age of 16 and there are lots of things to work on. I pray that God can help me to be a godly and loving girl. I pray that he can show me calling that I work for the glory of Christ. God, please also help me to guard my heart and wait for my future husband. In Jesus' name,Amen
Given my current situation I don't have much hope to ever marry. I have a decent job, but I'm going back to college cause I know I'm going to need more money to take care of my aging parents who have nothing to their name. How would I date with a bleak future as a caretaker?
Non dating exists in the bible , u can go from being friends , to Fiances to Married . But for my opinion there shouldn't be any dating as it comes with alot of temptaions (Kissing , fornication , jealousy etc) which can let u to sin
Today's video is a highly asked question from you guys! Rather than interpreting these as "rules," we suggest you take each of these ideas with a grain of salt. The intent is simply to highlight a few areas to think about before entering a relationship. We're not condemning anyone who is in a relationship and doesn't have these things all figured out. Truth is, that we're all still "figuring things out" as we go. Hope this conversation is some good food for thought!
Let us know what you think below!!!
ThatChristianVlogger Hello team Justin and Emily! I am sure we are all thankful how God is using you for His church, His own body. To be honest, my schedule is a bit packed this season. Hence I am not available to watch you guys every day even I would like to. Remembering you guys, your viewers and your families in prayers. You are blessed by our Abba Father in Christ Jesus!
ThatChristianVlogger Brother in Christ! Remember it's not good to be unequally yoked, but I'll pray for you two to put Christ in the center of your relationship. 💛
Dating doesn't have to be expensive. It can be a day at the beach, a downtown tour, attending a cultural event, bike rides, hikes, or time at a museum. Imagination is more important than money.
Very very true
“Just because something is good doesn’t mean we should pursue it right now. We have to remember that the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.”
From the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris
oh how cool! unintentional quote!
I've actually never been in a relationship, never dated or kissed a girl, and I just turned 23. But what I've learned from having that kinda life was to really pay attention to all kinds of relationships, and how you're managing them.Your familial relationships, academic, friendship-based, in the workplace. All these these key relationships are also relationships God has with you as well, so that'd be my advice. Seek godlier ways to manage all these relationships, which is through your own relationship with God by the Word cause there's a few; Parent-child, Teacher-student, Counselor-patient and King-servant.
Very wise!
Wise? Check. Now to balance with something juvenile... hmm--AH! I got it: That face when you have when a 15-year-old says they've never kissed someone before, and you're like "Bruh, please. Get up on my level" ;)
thank you so much. thus was so helpful. I personally am 18 and a senior in high school and like ur wife was saying i see all my friends dating and with boyfriends and sometimes it makes me feel alone but also a part of me knows that its not the right time to date and to seek god first.
awesome!
Ashley Mendoza I can 100% understand you. I felt the same. But I'm slowly getting more comfortable trying to build myself under God first and enjoy my life being single to the fullest, until God tells me it's time to settle down.
1) The right age preferably 20's onward 2)The best possible health 3)Schooling completed 4)Maturity 5)Experience in practical life 6)Financial stability, Most importantly to have a rich relationship with Christ and to be single and satisfied in Christ!
Yup!
I'm 21, and I have never been in a relationship. I have never even held a guy's hand. I believe that I have a lot of growth left to do spiritually, emotionally, and physically before I can even consider a relationship. It has been hard not to just go for a relationship just because everyone around me has been in multiple relationships, but I don't want to start anything until I am truly ready. That being said, I have learned a lot from my limited experience and also from observing other peoples' relationships. My best advice would be to never start a relationship because you are looking for something from that other person. If you are insecure or sad, don't look for security or happiness in another human being. The same applies to friends. Look to God for help in these areas first, because God is the only one that can give you true, unconditional love and support and God is the only person who will never leave you or forsake you. Also, if you are in love with the potential that person has, don't start a relationship with them. You cannot change a person, only God can do that, and that person won't change until they make the decision to do that themselves. If you want to start a relationship with someone, be prepared to love like Jesus. That means to love them for where they are right at that moment, flaws and all. Don't be attracted to who you think they could be if you were in a relationship with them.
Michaela Azure Thank you for this.
It seems like you are answering all the questions I have in mind.
Haha, that's convenient :)
I agree with you on the whole "when" question. I remember thinking I was ready to date and get married when I was 18 or 19, and now that I look back, I can see that I was far from ready. Since then, I have learned a whole lot about myself, finished school, moved to a new city, started working, paid back all my student debt, built a solid network of friends and acquaintances, etc. I'm 25 now, and I just started dating a few months ago. I do believe that the experiences I had in the last few years prepared me for this relationship, and I have a good church family that supports me too. I can also see how relationships take time, and how I wouldn't have had this time when I was in university.
I've learned that it's very important to learn how to be a good friend first. I feel like the qualities it takes to develop and maintain a friendship, are a great foundation for a romantic relationship.
Absolutely! At a young age, that's definitely worth investing in
I completely understand what you're saying it makes logical sense. but I was 17 when I met my husband and 19 when I got married and was in college for the first two years of marriage, we prayed about it a lot and got confirmation from God. God actually used this time to make us a team and learn to put faith in him during financially hard times. I agree in theory with what you're saying but I think sometimes it doesn't just happen that way, and sometimes that not what God wants. Also yes me and my husband changed a lot in these years but we learnt to grow together.
That's awesome! I believe God can show us His power and light through difficult times! God helps us to see the silver lining in every dark situation. That's why people do a lot of growing and learning when they go through tough things!
Yep. It definitely depends on each person, specifically. Some ppl find their soul mate at 18, others at 24, and another maybe at 35. God knows what’s best for the person.
I love videos with both of you, you have such a great dynamic - so wonderful to see! And I have to mention these VEDA videos are great. I just love the casual feel of these videos. What a blessing your channel is! Many thanks!!
This has really helped me out.I'm really trying to make up my mind concerning dating & stuff... Thanks guys!!
Awesome! Glad it's helpful :)
learning to respect others when they are talking. A huge part in affective communication is not always so much as talking but as well as effective listening. Giving others the ability , respect and space to express their point or perspective, without interruption. It's so overlooked and many people don't realize that they don't possess this necessary attribute. It builds trust and patience for you and your spouse. ☺☺ Thank you for you channel #new subbie#
I love how practical you are in approaching topics! Thanks for your perspective on life!
This is good. Spot on in my opinion.
I am 20 and just got out of a relationship knowing that I needed more Jesus in my life to be able to hold onto my identity in Him during the dating period. I feel that without a strong trusting foundation in Christ (which can take a while) it is almost inevitable that you will begin to develop a relationship based identity. And waiting for all the financial reasons, career experience, and natural development to be well balanced is such a wise choice. Awesome insight, thank you for this video.
Very helpful video thanks for your thoughts
Happy to share!
That gum chomping though..
First off, I really enjoyed this video! Since both of you asked for comments or anything else that Christians should do before dating, I have a couple things in mind that fall under personality: Myers Briggs personality types and Gary Chapman's 5 love languages. I love talking about these two things and I understand that it's not exactly required to know, but I personally feel that it is quite important to know your own and your (potential) partner's personality type and love languages to help get to know each other better. Knowing that if they these things do or don't align can help be factored in to an individual's decision to continue to pursue the other person or not.
Great job Emily on the outro!
Thanks as always, you two, for these videos!
Aww thanks!
Its so nice to hear Emily s story... relatable ❤️❤️
I believe God brings people into iur lives to be blessing and a lesson the same time to mold us for his future plans
For women, domestic skills are also very useful. Cooking, financing, cleaning, etc.
Agreed, but they are also very useful for men! Adulting skills are super useful for any human, male, female or other!
Cali Christmas y
I agree!
Awesome vid as always!!
Dang. This is quality advice! Love it.
xD
How would you answer those who doubt God because He doesn't intervene when it comes to natural disasters, violent casualties, or just deaths/sicknesses of loved ones in general?
I'm rooted enough in Christ to put my trust and faith in Him, but I don't know how to help others see things the same way/accept that there are some things we just don't understand, but He is still good. What would you suggest? :)
Really great question!
In my opinion, God doesn't intervene in these terrible things, but God is with us through it all. The bad things in life are there so that God can bring out the light in the darkness. God wants us to lean on him during times of struggle and allow him to give us strength. Also, a lot of evil exists because God allowed for humans to have the freedom of choice, and sometimes this freedom of choice makes room for Satan to lie, cheat, steal and destroy people. Despite this, I believe that the fact that God allows us to choose light or darkness is beautiful because it means that God loves us enough not to dictate every choice we make. It also makes the decision to follow Christ that much more meaningful. This is a lesson that was difficult to learn for me, and I do need a constant reminder of this when I see disheartening things in the news or when I'm hurting.
Michaela Azure Thanks for your response! It is an incredible gift that God gave us: free will - and it is so true that that makes choosing Christ all the more powerful! God bless, and yes, always remember all of that!
No problem! I love talking with believers because we strengthen each others' beliefs and lift one another up! God bless you too!
Michaela Azure Yeah, I love that we're able to connect on this level - as brothers/sisters in Christ! :)
Also, you know what the crazy thing is? This video was one of the responses from God I was needing, and your comment brought me back to this video! Thanks for allowing God to work through you 😊
What I'm so confused I just came from a video about how to be humble and then this comes on 😂🤷🏽♀️
+Ruzi Mena lol!!!
Also I would encourage people to talk about important things before marriage like should the woman work outside the home do you want children etc..
great suggestions!
just like to let you know that my sister is in her 3rd year of med school and got all of her college paid for by scholarships and will be over half a million dollars in debt😬 so it is more than $300,000😉
Can you please talk about what to do after a hard break up. I been watching your videos and It gave me a reasons to brake up up with my ex. Now what's next? It's been so hard, hopefully you guys have words of wisdom.
solid question!
I'm so sorry that you are going through a tough time. What always helps me when I'm going through something difficult is to draw closer to God, friends, and family. Also, to spend some time reflecting on how I can personally learn from and improve from the situation. I also tend to do things that are fun but also heal me emotionally and physically, and intellectually, like going to the gym, spending time in nature, reading a good book, or helping someone in need. Putting things into perspective is really helpful for me. When I am down, seeing those that are struggling and doing things to help them in any way I can is super healing. Spreading love and light is really important when you are going through difficulty. Use your struggles to connect with people on a deeper level and to help them through their struggles.
I'm enjoying your VEDA videos!
We're so glad! It's been fun for us to make!
At the end of the day, God's in control and he will keep you and hold you! We do not need to worry about the future only the present day which God has gifted you!
Furthermore, Jesus is the greatest love that you could ever have.
Brilliant video
thanks Benji!
I have a question. Depending on the field a person may take, like myself. I plan on going to Med school and getting a residency. By the time I finish school I would be 31. Should I just wait and start my career after all of that? Or what if I meet someone during those years, for example during my residency? Also I really enjoy watch it your videos, they have really been a blessing to me, and I am learning things that I feel sometimes people are too afraid to talk about.
I and I totally get what you're saying but how do suppress that feeling to want to be with someone for so long. I am a guy and i have good principles and morals but it is just really tough ignoring how i feel.
Inlove with your videos with emily!!! But i just wish she wasnt eating bubble gum while filming this lol peaaaceee and God bless ❤️
Tips on how to minister to others?
theres a video on it in the archives :)
That is a good video. It helps me a lot. Thank you for making it!! God uses you guys to speak to me to wait patiently for my future husband. I agree with the part that Christians should develop godly characters first. I am at the age of 16 and there are lots of things to work on. I pray that God can help me to be a godly and loving girl. I pray that he can show me calling that I work for the glory of Christ. God, please also help me to guard my heart and wait for my future husband. In Jesus' name,Amen
Given my current situation I don't have much hope to ever marry. I have a decent job, but I'm going back to college cause I know I'm going to need more money to take care of my aging parents who have nothing to their name. How would I date with a bleak future as a caretaker?
That's truly challenging. I'm sorry for the position you're in, but prayer & hard work seem to be the answer
Do not let he make god not in your life
Non dating exists in the bible , u can go from being friends , to Fiances to Married . But for my opinion there shouldn't be any dating as it comes with alot of temptaions (Kissing , fornication , jealousy etc) which can let u to sin
what mic do you guys you use?
We're currently using for this series a Rode Mic Pro
I know this video is old but what about dating someone that is not a Christian?
Exotic can two walk together unless they be agreed!? amos 3:3
You speak a lot(No offence but just saying) .....Do you speak more than your wife in real life???
+Ruatfela D34 yup
Stop!