Why You've Got to Face the Truth, Even When It Sucks | Sara Kuburic on Women of Impact
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- Опубліковано 6 вер 2024
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Best known as the “Millennial Therapist”, Sara Kuburic has built quite an online following by posting hard truths in ways that allow people to actually accept and learn from them. Needless to say, that balancing act requires an unusual combination of a strong moral center, a non-judgmental attitude, and a whole lot of empathy.
Thankfully, she brings all of those qualities to this episode of Women of Impact with Lisa Bilyeu. Lisa and Sara discuss self-sabotage, self-awareness and personal growth. They talk about how to give and receive hard truths, why toxic positivity is so insidiously harmful, and the reasons why we judge ourselves and others.
SHOW NOTES:
Why do we self-sabotage, and what constitutes self-sabotage? [2:03]
How to deal with the desire for instant gratification [4:10]
When we reenact patterns we feel in control, but that can be dangerous [6:16]
Sara hopes to spark interest in improvement with her social media posts [8:22]
Hard truths don’t have to be harsh truths, but a lot of suffering comes from avoiding truth [10:48]
If you find yourself resisting a hard truth, ask what you need to be open to that truth [11:57]
When is it our place to tell someone a hard truth, and when is it not? [14:00]
Sara explains why we avoid believing people when they tell us who they are [16:14]
Sara and Lisa discuss why you should put your true self forward even on a first date [18:45]
Sara talks about why you might seek relationships with emotionally unavailable people [21:08]
Sara and Lisa discuss why taking responsibility hurts your ego at first [23:01]
Blame and self-judgment are never the point of self-awareness [25:03]
Most of the time when we judge others it’s because we are triggered [26:36]
Judgment also comes from a lack of understanding or real moral conflicts [29:25]
Sara describes what moral injury is, and how it relates to infidelity [31:36]
Lisa and Sara discuss how deeply personal morality is [33:59]
Lisa asks why people invalidate themselves so much, and Sara discusses toxic positivity [35:58]
Sometimes we try to make people feel better but it’s actually for us [40:06]
Instead of telling people to calm down, try to understand them [42:10]
Lisa and Sara discuss asking permission to give someone advice or truth [45:06]
Sara says her superpower is adaptability [46:39]
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: bit.ly/2TIsoKh
UA-cam: bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: spoti.fi/2IEajGW
FOLLOW SARAH:
WEBSITE: sara-kuburic.com/
INSTAGRAM: bit.ly/2A2Nig8
FACEBOOK: bit.ly/2V81XOg
TWITTER: bit.ly/3i2kfKT
"You can have the negativity *and* acknowledge the positive. You don't need to replace it."
I needed this so much
Z Ma 🙏❤️
Nice video...I feel procrastination is the most popular form of self-sabotage. It's a mental tug of war that is so frustrating. I'm just about getting on top of it and feel so empowered each day when I get things done, which as a result leads me closer to achieving my goals...
Finding the good in any given situation isn't toxic positivity. You can always find a lesson from every negative experience. Toxic positivity would be bypassing the "negative" emotions completely. When you feel through them and find the lesson that's intended, that's where you raise your vibration. ❤️
Earplugs for the Soul 🙏❤️
BOOM!! You have to go thru it to get over it. The trick is not getting stuck in it. On the other side of darkness awaits the equivalent amount of lightness only every time. :D
yes, believe them when they tell you, or show you, who they are to others. Eventually they will do to you what they do to others. Just keep that in mind.
Dope
We must face...sit in... the hardships in life. Life SUCKS and life will continue to suck. But guess what, I am a stronger, humble, self aware, empathic person BECAUSE I wrestled with my crap and the crap of the world. It is necessary.
This was epic. I agree with her. Toxic positivity is real thing!
Rachel Eriquez 💯
"The truth you dont wanna see now you'll see down the road"wow
When I realized
Maybe *I* am the emotionally unavailable one...
What am I gonna do about it?
I got real about my own crap as an avoidant workaholic.
I met my husband at 46, we married 3 years later.
cthornton523 LOVE THIS! Thanks for sharing ❤️
I would love to start realizing when I am self-sabotaging. Hard to tell whether you are just trying to be realistic - not setting unrealistic expectations - when you are accepting harsh trues, or when you are actually self-sabotaging.
vignel0013 Yep! It’s hard to identify for sure! 💕
Great great conversation,it flew by. Her quotes are great but just for reference “believe people for who they are” is close to Maya Angelou’s “when people show you who they are, believe them.” Also, “ you can’t date potential” is very close to the phrase used by Iyanla Vanzant and/or Tracy McMillan. They are quotes worth repeating. I am glad they are reaching new audiences.
Your "hard truths" aren't too hurtful. Appreciate you!
Another episode that resonated with me. Especially the bit about asking what a person wants in time of need rather than telling they what to do. Thank you.
Amazing! So glad to see Sara representing Balkans so well! 👏
Literally my friend!! She wanted to be positive all the time when she was in toxic relationships and i told her no, we can have both ends not just positivity to make you feel better 🤦🏾♀️ THANK YOU for this video
Thank you for these rich conversations! Consistantly great content. Wendy
"You cant date potentials"👌
Telling da hard truth to close ones is super tricky n this conversation has helped me a lot with my understanding of the right timing and situation for spilling da truth.
Such a wonderful young woman, really enjoyed this conversation!
Great interview, loved every second of it! Thank you Lisa for introducing another great person 💜🧚🏼♀️
zuzana linduskova pleasure! So glad you enjoyed the episode 🙌💕
I had a problem with my mother about her smoking. This is giving me some insight. I was totally wrong with how i handle it
Real Talk ❤️❤️
❤️❤️
Thank you so much Lisa! I appreciate these discussions so so so much. I Love love love the different and unique perspectives coming together to help us all work on ourselves so we may help others! You and Tom are amazing! Thank you 🙏
sarah elias 🥰 thank you! ❤️
omg i needed this bc i’ve been skipping my work out !
did that mistake cuz I thought I'd hurt his feeling if I say no. I suffered for 15 yrs. In the end, I walked away, when I realized it's wrong, I sentenced my life for those experiences.
I loved listening to her, she has great work! Thank you for featuring her!
Sunethra she’s sooo good! Glad you enjoyed 💕
I so needed this! ❤️ The hard truth doesn’t have to be harsh. 💕
The zoom-in on, "How *dare* they..."
SO GOOD!!
cthornton523 🤣 I know!!! 🔥🔥
@@LisaBilyeu I watched this 3xs yesterday & again this morning...So. Many. Clips. In this video...!!
Look I'm 50 so when I see "Millennial Anything" I can feel my eyes glaze over like a doughnut.
That stuff about moral injury however was just a special slice of genius.
Good on ya!!
cthornton523 haha! I’m a 70s baby myself so feeling you, 😉🤣 but there’s definitely something to be said for the next generation!! Sara is a great example 💕
Just Wow! This was amazing, it made me take a real hard look into my own self. Thanks for this content, I've been watching your videos and I can honestly say it has changed my life, for the better of course
Awareness + Acceptance + Action => Transformation
Im just tooo obsessed with da way Lisa interviews the guest
What a resume/CV!
This was like an amazing gift an angel dropped in my lap, it was so full of wisdom! SO grateful for you introducing us to this amazing woman and for both of you and the work you both do! I litterally did the same as you going down a rabbit hole on Sarah's Ig page, like I had to pause the video because it pulled me in to, just reading post after post! I can already tell i have much to learn from her, thank you so much!
Sara has a curious but yet sexy laugh before she explains her reasoning. To me I take that as she extremely confident woman. Not to mention an amazing smile.
This was such great content!!! I have a situation I don’t quite know how to handle. I have this coworker who tells everyone in her path who will listen about a horrible situation she’s going through involving her child, frankly to the point we are tired of hearing it. So when she had asked for advice from me or others, she doesn’t take it nor does she really listen to the advice. I want her to understand accountability but at the same time I don’t want to keep hearing it again and again. Does that make me horrible cause I no longer want to listen to talk about it? I’ve even limited conversations with her to avoid those talks.
So interesting, thank you 🙏🙌
This is so good! Very unique content, haven’t seen this kind of thing anywhere else 👏
Kerry Needs thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed the episode ❤️
Great interview!
great talk, I took so many notes!
Love this ❤️❤️❤️
love it !! 🧡💜
love it !!
How do you know where the unavailability comes from?
anyone got any advice for an 18 yr old going to uni this yr?
Don't waste your time falling in love with someone else. Find yourself, and learn to love that woman first. Solely focus on your studies, and envision yourself graduating. Know what you want to study, so you can stay focused, and waste less time in school. Set goals that will help you achieve your bigger goals. Make a vision board, and meditate. Get some exercise in everyday, something that you love to do. Learn how to budget your money and your time appropriately. Do what you have to do for you, and don't give up on yourself. Ignore the haters, and/or tell them to kick rocks. Take classes during winter and summer sessions, so that you can meet your goals faster.
listen to your gut and allow yourself to follow it, even if it isn't the popular mode or mindset. Know what you know as you remain open to learning new things. Try on new ideas like a T-shirt, and see which parts fit; toss out the rest.
Good stuff!!!! ♡♡♡
Elissa Griffin Davis ❤️
cosmic beauty
Toxic AF is hearing, OH I'm sure your (narcissistic bully ) mother did the best she could. That is so invalidating! NO, she did not. Those words don't help one iota.
Calm down reminds me of "if you don't stop crying I'll really give you something to cry about." Oh good Lord. That invalidation parlays into really bad relationships that mimic those same events / training from our parents.
😭
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Find a neutral 3rd party who can provide insights from the outside. Typically, an outsider sees more than the participant.