I work at Wal-Mart...I hear this every day..Mom's think they are keeping track of their kids this way. It is sad when they say Marco and I say Polo and they say " Where are you?" ...I say around the corner then they come around the corner and their kid isn't there. Just trying to get them to realize that is not a safe way to keep track of their kids.
When credit card companies continuously mailed applications I would stuff all the papers including the envelope into the return address envelope after writing “Stop sending these!” In red marker (written like a crazy person). Mailed it all back to them, probably five times. They finally stopped :)
My dad, who was also my high school principal, had a wicked sense of humor. His office had a bathroom in it. When the county superintendent of schools came by for a visit, he was ready. The superintendent was also a very good friend of his. He asked to use my dad’s restroom, and what did he find on the commode? Annie, the high school CPR dummy dressed in clothes with panties down around her ankles! (This was in 1982) He immediately said excuse me and then realized what it was. I can’t tell jokes and funny stories like Dad could, but it was hilarious! I miss him so much. I loved having him as my principal. He was loved and respected by all. 🥲
When I was about 4 years old I said the same thing to my dad. He tried to explain that "There is no number three" and with a perfectly straight face I looked my father in the eye and said "There is now." My mom had an asthma attack. 🤣🤣🤣
When we first got married I made my husband's lunch. I put peanut butter and jelly around the edges and nothing in the middle. He called on his lunch break and said I forgot something. I just laughed. Another time I put 2 eggs in his lunch. One was hard boiled the other raw. I didn't know he ate at his bosses desk. Husband called and said very funny. I bought his boss a new desk mat.
The back and forth between Jimmy and Higgins is just the best!! Love you guys. Don't ever stop. :(PS: Doesn't Jimmy look so young in these old clips! )
Yes! When he wants me to pet him, my dog always puts his front paws on my left thigh. It's like he doesn't know how to do the same on the other side, or only likes to be petted on his right side or something...
Me and my boyfriend in the past went thru a taco bell drive thru backwards lol the employee's were so shocked they gave us our food for free, apparently it was the best thing they've ever seen lol later i told a co worker about it , he tried it and the cops were called hahaha
A Hispanic co-worker once stopped me on the way to the bathroom. He asked where I'm going and laughing I said" look out! I gotta' take a 💩." He gave me a seriously inquiring look and said "Oh. Caca out? 😮😄😆😁
My younger brother used to signal to drivers leaving a parking lot, to lower their window, then point to a back tire, calling. out, ' Hey, you're back. wheel is going forward. '
I had to laugh at the 'car is rolling back' trick. Years ago, (I'm talking late 50s-early 60s) my dad and his buddies used to go to stock car races. Of course, being rednecks, they also got roaring drunk. One time, when leaving the racetrack, there were many lines of traffic. The car in front of them moved forward, as did the cars on either side. The whole carload full of drunks were yelling for the driver to put on his brakes because they were rolling backward. The driver, as drunk as the rest of them, was stomping down the brake pedal so hard that Dad said it was a miracle that the brake cable didn't snap.
I know this is just out of left field, but it would be great if you and Paul Rudd did a side by side video of T-Rex "Get it On" from the 70's . It would be epic, Lol
I don't know what the Fraggles are (I'm French) but when I was little, my older sister and my cousin told me the Smurfs lived in our lawn, to get rid of me. I spent the entire summer on all four looking for them with a magnifying glass and was devastated everytime my dad mowed the lawn because he was going to decimate them 😭
It was an old show of these cute tiny Muppets by Jim Henson that lived in a cave, sang & danced! The show was called Fraggle Rock. Check it out on UA-cam it's adorable!
I Once Overheard a 3 year old boy saying "Mom, next time, can I buy the beer?" I Once Overheard a college-aged girl saying on her phone, "No mom, I did sleep with him--DIDN'T! I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM!" Wedding Fail, I shot 6 rolls of film; when I went in to develop the rolls in the college's photo lab, I forgot part of the cannister, and exposed all the film to light.....
I live in Rochester NY, about 90 minutes from Buffalo. My dad and his friends used to do a weekend Buffalo trip once a year for football games before Covid. On one trip, one of his friends got drunk, attempted to jump a fence and fell on his ass. Some other drunk guys in the area yelled "FUMBLE!".
There was a “shy guy” in the bathroom at work who stayed silent while I was washing my hands. When I finished I opened the door and let it close, still standing inside the bathroom. When the door closed I heard him say “ohh thank god” as he proceeded to release a loud gassy discharge. I fist pumped and left the bathroom laughing.
Sounds like the joke was on YOU!! -I hope you learned that if ever someone is holding something back till you leave, you really really don’t want to be there!!
Once overheard two college students in a study room having the following brilliant idea: - You know what we should invent? Vegetarian wine! - Dude, that is so brilliant! How come noone ever thought of this?
My best prank was in college, I switched my roommate's mattress with a feminine hygiene product with a note attached. The note read, "In our beginning efforts to refurbish the dorm, we had the mattresses dry cleaned. Sorry your's shrunk." I made her look for the mattress all day.
Side-kick Fallon is funny. If he ever sees this - look dude, I apologize, I don't watch the show that much, I don't know your name. Don't know the band's name, sometimes I can't remember Seth Myers name and the other guy's name either. Considering everything, you should realize I'm a mess, and disregard everything I say except that I think you're really funny.
When I learned that my sister has a fear of buttons (she flat out refuses to wear any item of clothing where they're featured, whether decorative or functioning because they make her skin crawl), I couldn't just leave it alone. While she was taking a nap, I got the (enormous) bag of spare buttons out of my mom's sewing basket & taped them to EVERY surface in our shared bathroom. I think the people three blocks over could hear her screaming at me!!!
My friends and I played a game in middle school where we basically did the equivalent of hot potato with a book. I don’t know why but one day I took a fake cockroach from my dads house and the best thing I did with it was put it in the book and give it to one of my friends. That was the only time that book ever got dropped and I’ve had it for years.
2:49
The "pulling up along either side of car and go in reverse at stoplight" was so great 😂😂😂
That prank with the car going backwards was my favorite!!😂😂😂😂
Lol shout out to roots literally in Jimmy's head during the guitar solo 🤭🤣
He is so funny and cheers me up constantly when things are tough. We love love him! I’m also thankful it’s pretty clean.
Two days ago I was in Walmart and heard a women calling for a Marco so I started answering Polo. The associate in my isle doubled over laughing.
😂😂
LEGEND
😂🤣😂🤣
I’ve had this happen in my vicinity twice! 😆😆😆
I work at Wal-Mart...I hear this every day..Mom's think they are keeping track of their kids this way. It is sad when they say Marco and I say Polo and they say " Where are you?" ...I say around the corner then they come around the corner and their kid isn't there. Just trying to get them to realize that is not a safe way to keep track of their kids.
A long time ago when I got commercial mail with a postage-paid reply card. I wrapped a brick in paper and glued the card to it and then mailed it.
Awesome response!!!🤣🤣
Wow! Way to go!
When credit card companies continuously mailed applications I would stuff all the papers including the envelope into the return address envelope after writing “Stop sending these!” In red marker (written like a crazy person). Mailed it all back to them, probably five times. They finally stopped :)
Genius !
I'm a dog trainer and I can assure you, dogs are right or left pawed. They also prefer to spin one way or the other. True story. ❤
Atomic physicists have no idea what "spin" really is but obviously your dog knows better. :-)
The before poop spin 😂🤣😂🤣
I just learned something new.
Thanks my dog was left pawed. I cant remember with way he spun before he'd lay down
Haha JUST as I read your comment Jimmy read the tweet! 😆
"please not now" should be a future #hashtag
44 people agreed
That was hilarious Jimmy doing air guitar 🎸😂 that was great!!!!
My dad and his classmates deconstructed their principles car and rebuilt it in his office. Science schools be epic sometimes
Same for my dad
How did their principles get a car. Must have had a cool principal.
Same with my dad!!
@@alyssajones2781 m.j
My dad went to MSOE - they did the same in the late 60s!
That photograph clicked by the falling photographer was actually good 😀
"Please not now" kills me everytime. Best ever.
Jimmy, you are so wonderful! Thank you for sharing your humor and keeping us laughing!
Lets just thank Jimmy for posting every single day for us.
amen
That's right
🖖🤟❤😀👍🙏
Or you know his producers but ya
Do not watch while eating while lying down-don’t judge me 😂🤣😅 choking hazard!!
I’m glad you figured that out sooner rather than later.
This show is sooo funny
My dad, who was also my high school principal, had a wicked sense of humor. His office had a bathroom in it. When the county superintendent of schools came by for a visit, he was ready. The superintendent was also a very good friend of his. He asked to use my dad’s restroom, and what did he find on the commode? Annie, the high school CPR dummy dressed in clothes with panties down around her ankles! (This was in 1982) He immediately said excuse me and then realized what it was. I can’t tell jokes and funny stories like Dad could, but it was hilarious! I miss him so much. I loved having him as my principal. He was loved and respected by all. 🥲
When I was about 4 years old I said the same thing to my dad. He tried to explain that "There is no number three" and with a perfectly straight face I looked my father in the eye and said "There is now." My mom had an asthma attack. 🤣🤣🤣
You, my dear, are an underrated comedian!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Jimmy is literally one of the most fun people on the internet!
07:54 the kid who had to go #3: he was doing his math! 1+2=3 🤣.
I've listened to this at least four times. Thank you for the great laughs!
Those 2 are great together. The has tags are my favorite
When we first got married I made my husband's lunch. I put peanut butter and jelly around the edges and nothing in the middle. He called on his lunch break and said I forgot something. I just laughed. Another time I put 2 eggs in his lunch. One was hard boiled the other raw. I didn't know he ate at his bosses desk. Husband called and said very funny. I bought his boss a new desk mat.
I can't stop laughing with these two!! I could watch them for hours. Thanks so much for the laughs :o)
I can imagine how the guy saying "Please not now" was feeling a digestive disturbance coming on.
Yeah, but he was already in a bathroom, so he didn't have much to worry about 😆
Who else literally feels like UA-cam is their best friend during Covid-19?.
So true!! UA-cam is amazing
Hell ya bud! I’m now certifiably crazy 🤪🖤& all things good to you and yours!
I started listening to this after the lockdowns but still
We all do
Totally! 😂😜
opening a beer during wedding vows- legend
The back and forth between Jimmy and Higgins is just the best!! Love you guys. Don't ever stop. :(PS: Doesn't Jimmy look so young in these old clips! )
Totally agree!
It took a couple of "deja vu" moments to realize this was a rewind, but all episodes were definitely worth a second watch. In some cases, third.
Same 😂
Yes! When he wants me to pet him, my dog always puts his front paws on my left thigh. It's like he doesn't know how to do the same on the other side, or only likes to be petted on his right side or something...
I find short hair Jimmy so cute! Who's with me? 😍
Much better than pandemic hair Jimmy!
Yes, the new hair looks like a bad toupee. Jimmy went bald from pandemic stress and doesn’t want anyone to know.
Except Jimmy isn’t cute
please not now
That last one cracked me up cuz some of the wedding party was in shock and seemed concerned others....were laughing or trying not to. Lmao!!
Me and my boyfriend in the past went thru a taco bell drive thru backwards lol the employee's were so shocked they gave us our food for free, apparently it was the best thing they've ever seen lol later i told a co worker about it , he tried it and the cops were called hahaha
A Hispanic co-worker once stopped me on the way to the bathroom. He asked where I'm going and laughing I said" look out! I gotta' take a 💩."
He gave me a seriously inquiring look and said "Oh. Caca out? 😮😄😆😁
OMG!! I can't stop laughing!!
My daughter and I play Marco Polo to found each other when we get separated in stores.
So does everybody else. It gets annoying when you work in a store.
My younger brother used to signal to drivers leaving a parking lot, to lower their window, then point to a back tire, calling. out, ' Hey, you're back. wheel is going forward. '
I had to laugh at the 'car is rolling back' trick. Years ago, (I'm talking late 50s-early 60s) my dad and his buddies used to go to stock car races. Of course, being rednecks, they also got roaring drunk. One time, when leaving the racetrack, there were many lines of traffic. The car in front of them moved forward, as did the cars on either side. The whole carload full of drunks were yelling for the driver to put on his brakes because they were rolling backward. The driver, as drunk as the rest of them, was stomping down the brake pedal so hard that Dad said it was a miracle that the brake cable didn't snap.
These are so great. Definitely one of my favorite bits on this show.
3:48 you can see the camera shaking because the cameraman(or woman) was laughing!
NEVER ever name anybody or pet Marco, or else you'll be in her frustrating situation.
Don't EVER stop, I LOVE THESE!!!!!
I know this is just out of left field, but it would be great if you and Paul Rudd did a side by side video of T-Rex "Get it On" from the 70's . It would be epic, Lol
Yes. Yessss. Yes.
That shortcut prank was brilliant. Definitely gonna pull that one on the wife!
Jimmy is a VERY funny late night host he is DEFINITELY THE BEST
I don't know what the Fraggles are (I'm French) but when I was little, my older sister and my cousin told me the Smurfs lived in our lawn, to get rid of me. I spent the entire summer on all four looking for them with a magnifying glass and was devastated everytime my dad mowed the lawn because he was going to decimate them 😭
ua-cam.com/play/PLA1wKs5MUOuI2khyZCv5vVbSxZ3J0jynI.html
UA-cam clip of the Fraggles. They were like the Muppets but on cable so not everyone was able to watch them.
It was an old show of these cute tiny Muppets by Jim Henson that lived in a cave, sang & danced! The show was called Fraggle Rock. Check it out on UA-cam it's adorable!
Aww 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@sandrad4695 Fraggle Rock was the best.
13:21 I love how everybody looks so concerned while the two girls on the right look like they're about to burst into laughter.
Just Smack It has me losing it! 🤣😅🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂love Hash Tag Segment!
Jimmy is so lucky he has the Roots to back him up.
I mean they get paid 🤣
I want my own band 😤
I Once Overheard a 3 year old boy saying "Mom, next time, can I buy the beer?"
I Once Overheard a college-aged girl saying on her phone, "No mom, I did sleep with him--DIDN'T! I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM!"
Wedding Fail, I shot 6 rolls of film; when I went in to develop the rolls in the college's photo lab, I forgot part of the cannister, and exposed all the film to light.....
I live in Rochester NY, about 90 minutes from Buffalo. My dad and his friends used to do a weekend Buffalo trip once a year for football games before Covid. On one trip, one of his friends got drunk, attempted to jump a fence and fell on his ass. Some other drunk guys in the area yelled "FUMBLE!".
Number 3 could be a number two and one at the same time !
There was a “shy guy” in the bathroom at work who stayed silent while I was washing my hands. When I finished I opened the door and let it close, still standing inside the bathroom. When the door closed I heard him say “ohh thank god” as he proceeded to release a loud gassy discharge. I fist pumped and left the bathroom laughing.
Why would you fist pump?
Sounds like the joke was on YOU!!
-I hope you learned that if ever someone is holding something back till you leave, you really really don’t want to be there!!
Listening to someone fart on a toilet is your BEST Prank Ever? 👌
That last one of the wedding is perfect. I'd put that in the front of my wedding album.
That whole fishing back up the guitar thing, LOLOL🎸
Please not now is the absolute funniest thing to me😂😂😂
you can see the camera jiggle right around 3:49 😊 even the cameraperson was laughing!
That "moose" guy was so cute tho, I want a husband like that😂🙏🏻
The fitness joke was amazing!
Hello jimmy hope you and your beautiful family haveing a great day I did that in the whole town called me around
I don't think he is reading these comments
I ♥️ you Jimmy from the first time I saw your movie "TAXI". Keep up the good work!😊
Lmao the ring bearer situation reminds me of the Josh and Jacob Wolf situation 😂 😅
Once overheard two college students in a study room having the following brilliant idea:
- You know what we should invent? Vegetarian wine!
- Dude, that is so brilliant! How come noone ever thought of this?
Please post again #SummerVacationFail !! It's my favorite!
That was an old one. Nicely done. 😆
My best prank was in college, I switched my roommate's mattress with a feminine hygiene product with a note attached. The note read, "In our beginning efforts to refurbish the dorm, we had the mattresses dry cleaned. Sorry your's shrunk." I made her look for the mattress all day.
Like opening a pad after cervical cancer “what are u? Opening a bag of chips?!!”
In my household, 1=pee, 2=poop, 3=diarrhea, 4= throw up. Yup.
Makes sense! 😂
I can TOTALLY relate to PLEASE NOT NOW! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙏❤😀👍
The little boy who was my ring bearer also thought it was ring "bear". His mother had to burst his bubble.
I’ve basically gotten a Master’s degree on WWII by now. 😂🤣
My mom and her friends started an volunteer fire department at her highschool. I think that a joke that keeps on running and saving lives
Jimmy Fallon: You crack me up!!!!
The fork prank is clever. I don't think I'd even be annoyed--except they didn't send back food for ME along with the forks :-D
Side-kick Fallon is funny. If he ever sees this - look dude, I apologize, I don't watch the show that much, I don't know your name. Don't know the band's name, sometimes I can't remember Seth Myers name and the other guy's name either. Considering everything, you should realize I'm a mess, and disregard everything I say except that I think you're really funny.
"You don't say" joke goes at least as far as Spike Jones, maybe longer.
My dad used to do that joke with us - like 50 years ago
I once overheard while at youth group my youth pastor say to some seniors, “please eat poisonous mushrooms” out of context.
As always very entertaining
Please not now guy probably just realized there was no more paper...
The band is so talented its unreal
Self-talk is motivational. "I'm Jeremiah" the Bullfrog who does great things. That child is a self-starter
I like the wedding photo @ the end.
No no that right and left handed dog thing has a point.
Passing a kidney stone please not now!!!
That moose was me😁
I’m not gunna lie; I’m slightly offended by the dumb southern accents, but it’s also so true 😂😂😂😂😂😆
Shout out to the awesome guitar playing!
Please not now, lmfao, lmfao, lmfao...😂
He and Higgins just mesh. 😂
When I learned that my sister has a fear of buttons (she flat out refuses to wear any item of clothing where they're featured, whether decorative or functioning because they make her skin crawl), I couldn't just leave it alone. While she was taking a nap, I got the (enormous) bag of spare buttons out of my mom's sewing basket & taped them to EVERY surface in our shared bathroom. I think the people three blocks over could hear her screaming at me!!!
Was up jimmy love your show huge fan
Long hiatus in 2022. Needed this laugh!
Down in Fraggle Rock 🎵
Well atleast Jimmy's jokes make him happy.
My friends and I played a game in middle school where we basically did the equivalent of hot potato with a book. I don’t know why but one day I took a fake cockroach from my dads house and the best thing I did with it was put it in the book and give it to one of my friends. That was the only time that book ever got dropped and I’ve had it for years.
I actually laughed out loud. lol (-:
Love the haircut, nice clean look! 😘☺️🤩😎
We Love Jimmy!!!!
The police were probably looking for me! I learned my lesson to never drink and take Ambien again!
13:22 it looks like photographer showed his real thing 😂😂
I Died Laughing 😂😂😂😂.
I'm DYING LAUGHING!🤣🤣🤣😀🤣🤣🤣❤🙏🤟🖖