Texts: 1. “Life and Love” (Waltz) - Dorothy Parker Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Romania. 2. “Miss Twye” (Ragtime) - Gavin Ewart Miss Twye was soaping her breasts in the bath When she heard behind her a meaning laugh And to her amazement she discovered A wicked man in the bathroom cupboard. 3. “A Lady with Technique & Frustrated Male” (Foxtrot and Charleston) - Hughes Mearns As I was letting down my hair I met a guy who didn’t care; He didn’t care again to-day- I love ‘em when they get that way! One night I met when stepping out A gal who wasn’t thereabout; I said ‘Hel-lo! And how are you!’ She didn’t say; so I never knew. 4. “Monogamy” (Pavane) - Dorothy Parker Accursed from their birth they be Who seek to find monogamy, Pursuing it from bed to bed - I think they would be better dead. 5. “The Good Girl” (Minuet) - Dorothy Parker Words of comfort to be scratched on a mirror: Helen of Troy had a wandering glance; Sappho’s restriction was only the sky; Ninon was ever the chatter of France; But oh, what a good girl am I! 6. “The Garter” (Schottische) - anon. Why blush, dear girl, pray tell me why? You need not, I can prove it: For though your garter met my eye, My thoughts were far above it. 7. “Chastity” (Tango) - Matthew Prior “No, no, for my Virginity, When I lose that”, says Rose, “I’ll die!” “Behind the elms, last Night”, cry’d Dick, “Rose, were you not extremely Sick? 8. “To the Moon” (Bolero) - anon. Oh Moon, when I look on thy beautiful face, [Careening] along through the boundaries of space, The thought has quite frequently come to my mind, If ever I’ll gaze on thy glorious behind. 9. “The Sex Situation” (Polonaise) - Dorothy Parker Woman wants monogamy; Man delights in novelty. Love is woman’s moon and sun; Man has other forms of fun. Woman lives but in her lord; Count to ten, and man is bored. With this this gist and sum of it, What earthly good can come of it? 10. “Anecdote” (Gavotte) - Dorothy Parker So Silent I when Love was by He yawned and turned away; Now Sorrow clings to my apron-stings, I have so much to say. 11. “Unfortunate Coincidence” (Rumba) - Dorothy Parker By the time you swear you’re his, Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is Infinite, undying - Lady, make a note of this; One of you us lying. 12. “Superfluous Advice” (Can-can) - Dorothy Parker Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true? Weep and storm and swear they lie. 13. “Superfluous Response” (Tarantella) - anon. We men have many faults, Poor women have but two: - There’s nothing good they say; There’s nothing good they do. 14. “A Very Short Song” (Sarabande) - Dorothy Parker Once, when I was young and true, Someone left me sad - Broke my brittle heart in two; And that is very bad. Love is for unlucky folk, Love is but a curse. Once there was heart I broke; And that, I think, is worse. 15. “Love and Romance” (Ländler) - anon. With Love the need, Romance the food, United in our solitude For ev’ry daughter, ev’ry son The dance goes on. So weep and ache and storm and smart. Rail and curse the gods above, Then tend your broke, battered heart And love.
Texts:
1. “Life and Love” (Waltz) - Dorothy Parker
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.
2. “Miss Twye” (Ragtime) - Gavin Ewart
Miss Twye was soaping her breasts in the bath
When she heard behind her a meaning laugh
And to her amazement she discovered
A wicked man in the bathroom cupboard.
3. “A Lady with Technique & Frustrated Male” (Foxtrot and Charleston) - Hughes Mearns
As I was letting down my hair
I met a guy who didn’t care;
He didn’t care again to-day-
I love ‘em when they get that way!
One night I met when stepping out
A gal who wasn’t thereabout;
I said ‘Hel-lo! And how are you!’
She didn’t say; so I never knew.
4. “Monogamy” (Pavane) - Dorothy Parker
Accursed from their birth they be
Who seek to find monogamy,
Pursuing it from bed to bed -
I think they would be better dead.
5. “The Good Girl” (Minuet) - Dorothy Parker
Words of comfort to be scratched on a mirror:
Helen of Troy had a wandering glance;
Sappho’s restriction was only the sky;
Ninon was ever the chatter of France;
But oh, what a good girl am I!
6. “The Garter” (Schottische) - anon.
Why blush, dear girl, pray tell me why?
You need not, I can prove it:
For though your garter met my eye,
My thoughts were far above it.
7. “Chastity” (Tango) - Matthew Prior
“No, no, for my Virginity,
When I lose that”, says Rose, “I’ll die!”
“Behind the elms, last Night”, cry’d Dick,
“Rose, were you not extremely Sick?
8. “To the Moon” (Bolero) - anon.
Oh Moon, when I look on thy beautiful face,
[Careening] along through the boundaries of space,
The thought has quite frequently come to my mind,
If ever I’ll gaze on thy glorious behind.
9. “The Sex Situation” (Polonaise) - Dorothy Parker
Woman wants monogamy;
Man delights in novelty.
Love is woman’s moon and sun;
Man has other forms of fun.
Woman lives but in her lord;
Count to ten, and man is bored.
With this this gist and sum of it,
What earthly good can come of it?
10. “Anecdote” (Gavotte) - Dorothy Parker
So Silent I when Love was by
He yawned and turned away;
Now Sorrow clings to my apron-stings,
I have so much to say.
11. “Unfortunate Coincidence” (Rumba) - Dorothy Parker
By the time you swear you’re his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this;
One of you us lying.
12. “Superfluous Advice” (Can-can) - Dorothy Parker
Should they whisper false of you,
Never trouble to deny;
Should the words they say be true?
Weep and storm and swear they lie.
13. “Superfluous Response” (Tarantella) - anon.
We men have many faults,
Poor women have but two: -
There’s nothing good they say;
There’s nothing good they do.
14. “A Very Short Song” (Sarabande) - Dorothy Parker
Once, when I was young and true,
Someone left me sad -
Broke my brittle heart in two;
And that is very bad.
Love is for unlucky folk,
Love is but a curse.
Once there was heart I broke;
And that, I think, is worse.
15. “Love and Romance” (Ländler) - anon.
With Love the need,
Romance the food,
United in our solitude
For ev’ry daughter, ev’ry son
The dance goes on.
So weep and ache and storm and smart.
Rail and curse the gods above,
Then tend your broke, battered heart
And love.
Wow, that's a lot in 19 minutes!!!
Cheers to Dorothy:
"Once there was heart I broke;
And that, I think, is worse."