My Coming Out Story: Coming Out as a Lesbian After Being Married to a Man

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  • Опубліковано 31 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 79

  • @pootoobaby738
    @pootoobaby738 2 роки тому +44

    I love hearing stories about other lesbians coming out much later in life because it lets me know I’m not alone and we’re all struggling with our identities even into our 30s.

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  2 роки тому +4

      Definitely not alone!

    • @dibaldgyfm9933
      @dibaldgyfm9933 Рік тому

      @iamme25yago :: I can understand why you ask; but keep in mind that living with another person can be complicated and sex alone does not make a happy marriage. Bad marriages producing kids exist.

  • @dallinaq
    @dallinaq 2 роки тому +20

    I always enjoy your videos and thank you for sharing. I came out at 27 in 2016. I had a first out relationship. I found it really difficult and I remember my parents telling me, you are choosing a difficult life. It was very hard and it took me a long while to accept myself. I forced myself back in the closet and it caused me panic and misery after that. I dated a man and it caused me so much pain. I am now with a woman I love and I feel emotionally fulfilled. If anyone is reading this and struggling, please know it gets better and takes patience. My parents have been lovely and supportive. I'm now out to everyone and those questions and the insecurity has faded and me and my girlfriend are just happy and in the moment. Since 2016, I've kept a diary to express how I feel and have seen so much emotional growth. I am grateful for the chance to be my authentic self and to feel happy in my own skin. On my own path

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  2 роки тому +1

      Awww I'm glad you are living your authentic life and being true to yourself. It can definitely be hard but so worth it!

    • @dallinaq
      @dallinaq 2 роки тому +1

      It really is. I'm so glad for you too. Congratulations on your engagement. You guys are a lovely couple x

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  2 роки тому +1

      @@dallinaq thank you!!

    • @bubba283
      @bubba283 2 роки тому +1

      I've come out to a few friends, only a couple of them were surprised, the rest said they kinda knew I liked guys, it's weird how anyone would know before I told it. I. Hide it from most.

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  2 роки тому +1

      A lot of my fiance's friends and family had suspected once she came out

  • @Raddiebaddie
    @Raddiebaddie Рік тому +6

    Thanks for sharing- so many people don’t understand comp het and the social conditioning that can delay coming out and understanding ourselves. Everyone’s story is different but they often have commonalities. I’m glad you found yourself ❤

  • @pamelaivey3253
    @pamelaivey3253 2 роки тому +25

    Your story is very familiar to mine. Raised in a Catholic family, married a man, had 2 sons, been divorced, came out when I was 41, I'am 63 now, everything you said makes sense.

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  2 роки тому +5

      I think a lot of us who've come out later in life have very similar stories

  • @amandaquiring117
    @amandaquiring117 2 роки тому +10

    My husband and I just separated and I am adjusting to life on my own. I would love to hear more about your life between separating from your husband and finding your fiancee and what that was like for you.

  • @EITURKEY1
    @EITURKEY1 2 роки тому +6

    Beautifully put Ms Bettis, you really are a wonderful person, regardless of gender.

  • @G1ng3rSn4p
    @G1ng3rSn4p 2 роки тому +4

    Thank you for sharing your story! I came out at 30 myself! Much love girl!

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  2 роки тому

      Aww you're welcome and thank YOU!! In case you missed it, I just launched an online community for "late lifers". Check it out if you're interested! We're doing a group zoom meet up this Sunday! the-late-life-lesbian.mn.co/plans/196176?bundle_token=4e848744e6dc255a1b999443a5d220b7

    • @G1ng3rSn4p
      @G1ng3rSn4p 2 роки тому

      @@TheLateLifeLesbian awesome thank you! I will def. check it out!

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  2 роки тому

      You're welcome!

    • @tonyvilla6189
      @tonyvilla6189 2 роки тому

      Most woman came Out at 3, but lie to man.

  • @kikiramsay5572
    @kikiramsay5572 3 місяці тому

    Thank you for sharing your story it's really helpful

  • @aeumurolake9563
    @aeumurolake9563 5 місяців тому

    Thank you for sharing your story! This helps me so much♡

  • @acereporter266
    @acereporter266 Рік тому

    Thanks for sharing your story. Can I make a suggestion? Please add the letters er to late. Saying “late life” implies that it’s too late and it’s never too late to live your truth. I also came out as ace later in life and believe I came out exactly when I was supposed to.

  • @sarahdaviscc
    @sarahdaviscc 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you so much for being so candid.

  • @jillsmith3748
    @jillsmith3748 Рік тому

    Thank you for sharing your story. I feel like I can be more confident now. ❤

  • @coravelasquez
    @coravelasquez Рік тому +1

    I'm so glad you shared this experience with us. Thank you! Your ex-husband sounds like a good man, and your son will have two very devoted parents forever. Everyone wins!! I also realized I was lesbian in my early thirties. What a journey, but every step of it was worth it. Is your fiancee the first woman you dated after your divorce?

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  Рік тому

      You're welcome! And no I dated a few different women before finding my fiance (now wife 😊)

    • @coravelasquez
      @coravelasquez Рік тому

      I'm sorry. I sort of jumped on board in the middle of this, so all I know is I'm very interested in your journey and I'm very glad I stumbled on your channel. I'm so happy to hear you're married!

  • @p44chipo
    @p44chipo 2 роки тому +1

    Hi Emily C Bettis ❤🌹🙋‍♀️! It has been a while.....welcome my Fave 😍. I have missed you 😊. How are you doing? It's so great to see you. Yaaay, you are back doing videos again, thank you so much. This is sweet music 🎶 to my ears 👂👂😊. I love your real life love stories and journey ❤. Thank you so much for sharing. Some Qs: 1. What was it that was missing? 2. Have you finally found what you were missing? Enjoy your journey and trust the process. Wishing you all the happiness, love, peace and blessings 🙏❤. You deserve it. You're a beautiful Soul. Looking forward to your videos. Much love ❤❤🌹.

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  2 роки тому +2

      Hello! Hahaha what was missing was that I desired being with a woman ultimately, not a man 😜

    • @p44chipo
      @p44chipo 2 роки тому

      @@TheLateLifeLesbian Beautiful 😍! I admire that.....being honest with yourself and others, in "pursuit of happiness". I am in awe of you ❤.

  • @anastasiahertrich4745
    @anastasiahertrich4745 2 роки тому +3

    So happy you’re making videos again! I’d love to hear more about sort of the internal journey , struggle and feeling s you were having at the time that led to the decision to try dating a woman.how did you know that it was a woman missing and not something else?.

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  2 роки тому +2

      Thanks! I'll think on that and see what I can share! 😁

  • @alancarrick1541
    @alancarrick1541 2 роки тому +2

    Love your story and great to see you back!

  • @VLoveCrystals
    @VLoveCrystals 2 роки тому

    thanks for sharing your energy and experiences. much appreciated!!

  • @CharlottePearce-c8u
    @CharlottePearce-c8u Рік тому +2

    Hey, your video is wonderful, i have currently broken up with my partner. She is in a marriage like you were in. But hasn't plucked any courage to leave it. Its so hatd because i honestly feel she is the one. But she may never leave her marriage because of her children. The husband didnt know about us but they both agree to do what the other wants behind closed doors. So basically an open marriage. I hate how she is hiding her true self. She is 41 now. We have agreed to not talk rught now, which is also hard for me. Im broken actually. Timing is a bitch which is the only reason why we arent together. What do i do? X

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  Рік тому +2

      I'm so sorry. You're not the first woman I've heard from who has been in this situation. Unfortunately, there isn't a lot you can do because you can't force her to leave. That's a decision she has to make all on her own. I would take this time to focus on yourself and what you want (that isn't her). I do offer a 12 support program that helps women who are currently married to men, but have realized that they're lesbians be able to navigate that process confidently and successfully. I know you're not talking to her, but if you think it could be a benefit for her, I'm not sure if there is a way you could let her know about it, but even with that, it's something she has to actually want to do.

  • @la381
    @la381 2 роки тому +2

    8:27 NOBODY is "EVERYTHING" to anyone, so how does a person KNOW ????

  • @markhuckercelticcrossbows7887
    @markhuckercelticcrossbows7887 2 роки тому +8

    Reading the comments, one reoccurring point. Religion, biggest pain in the ass, since writing was invented!

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  2 роки тому +7

      Is a huge factor for a lot of people who come out later in life! So much feeling of obligation and guilt

  • @damifino44
    @damifino44 2 роки тому

    Glad to see that you are back on line..

  • @maryannflannigan7468
    @maryannflannigan7468 Рік тому

    I don't know if you can help me??? I am a trans woman and I am wanting to be with a lesbian woman 👭. I believe that being friends first builds a strong foundation for a relationship. Anyway, I really feel a strong desire to be in a long lasting lesbian relationship. I jus don't know where to go because my experience with relationships as a man was not good at all. Now, as a woman, it seems there are plenty of women who like me, but I can't seem to go on a date with someone who is worthy of me.

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  Рік тому +2

      I think you just have to stand strong in knowing what you deserve and wait for the person who matches what you want and need

  • @kencoleman5007
    @kencoleman5007 2 роки тому +1

    I completely get this. From the moment that I started becoming far more aware of the likelihood of being a trans lesbian (in 2015), I started thinking about how no matter how much a sappy hopeless romantic I am, I wanted to be up front about this increasing exploration. And it turned off SO many. I could not have a crush on someone without wondering "Would she still be attracted to me if I was to come out and transition?".
    The transness is more specified to my situation, but so much of it is about honesty. Hearing Bout all the transphobia (especially toward trans women), I sometimes wonder if it would be easier to live life pretending to be a cis guy, and it would be dishonest to myself, future partners, family members, and anyone I interact with.

    • @alxb2827
      @alxb2827 2 роки тому +1

      You’re a straight man 😂

    • @alxb2827
      @alxb2827 2 роки тому

      Trans men suffer far more, barely anyone even brings them up, everything is about “tRaNs wAhMen” due to bio male privilege

    • @alxb2827
      @alxb2827 2 роки тому

      No such thing as a trans lesbians. It’s incredibly misogynistic and lesbophobic to say you as a straight male is somehow a female attracted to females (lesbian). Only a male is that entitled.

  • @Sssssssslf
    @Sssssssslf 2 роки тому +2

    Did you and your ex husband ever consider or discuss the possibility of a poly relationship so you could remain with one another since you were happy together and this was the only issue?

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  2 роки тому +5

      Actually yes, but that wasn't for us and in my opinion inevitably doesn't work because I feel 1 or both would end up finding someone they wanted to be with more and then would result in divorce anyway. I feel like what we have now is perfect to remain friends and co parents for our son but to live our own lives as well

  • @Shigyrl2871
    @Shigyrl2871 Рік тому

    Your story is so similar to mine

  • @Melissa-1963
    @Melissa-1963 9 місяців тому

    It does seem that many people who come out are from religious families. My family was but I was never religious I'm just coming out at 61 next month it is not the easiest thing in the world to do. I wish I could read my age backwards and I'd only be 16, giggle.

  • @chwilhogyn
    @chwilhogyn 2 роки тому

    💜

  • @giuseppinariva9294
    @giuseppinariva9294 2 роки тому

    Stupenda creatura no agisco cosa mi dici penso che amore e la cosa più bella che abbiamo nel cuore e va d'atto vai dove ti porta il cuore he ti acareza il cuore e ti apre le piene delanima eti farà volare nel blu dipinto di blu

  • @julianacheriza9673
    @julianacheriza9673 2 роки тому +3

    Why is it that all ppl of the lgbt community come from a religious background 🤨

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  2 роки тому +2

      Think it might have just been the generation 🤷‍♀️

    • @themaestro2572
      @themaestro2572 6 місяців тому

      Because religion is all powerful. No one can escape from the power of Xenu!

  • @davidkey9940
    @davidkey9940 2 роки тому

    So beautiful

  • @thyland726
    @thyland726 7 місяців тому +2

    That poor son

  • @thyland726
    @thyland726 7 місяців тому +1

    That poor husband

    • @TheLateLifeLesbian
      @TheLateLifeLesbian  7 місяців тому +3

      I understand why you would think that but my ex husband and I just took our some on vacation to Florida together for his birthday and all had a great time together. We still work together as a family but not being married is the right thing for us.

    • @themaestro2572
      @themaestro2572 6 місяців тому

      ​@@TheLateLifeLesbian *son

    • @karmapolice247
      @karmapolice247 4 місяці тому

      Yeap, a vacation oughta fill that gap. Byeee... bye bye!!

  • @globright9127
    @globright9127 8 місяців тому

    R u sure

  • @sushichef40
    @sushichef40 Рік тому

    Ugggg!

  • @michaelweir4776
    @michaelweir4776 Рік тому +1

    Emily my wife has some advice for you if you still love your husband give up trying to be a lesbian you will ruin someone's life and that is not right so if you still love your husband stop using your partner as a scapegoat so husband or the girl you married it is your choice forget your ex and think of your future with the one you have got now.

  • @johnscott488
    @johnscott488 2 роки тому

    Not real!!

  • @jeffreyparker7013
    @jeffreyparker7013 8 місяців тому +2

    So let me get this straight, you both agreed to get a divorce and put your son in a statistical disadvantage of coming from a broken home for the sake of BOTH of YOU being happy!? Gotcha 👌🏿🤔

  • @michelallanangeles540
    @michelallanangeles540 11 місяців тому

    Did you ever put god in the center of your relationship with your ex husband 😢 so that you could save your marriage for the sake of your son

  • @leahstumm9662
    @leahstumm9662 11 місяців тому

    💜