Kismet | Ep. 1 "Korean International Adoption"
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
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A documentary that captures the journey of a couple adopting a boy from South Korea, and the personal stories and experiences of two adult adoptees.
Please make sure to subscribe to my UA-cam Channel to stay current with new content, like my Adoption Awareness Facebook Page and share with your family, friends and community! Don't miss my my other foster care and adoption series, Placed and Beyond Biological, as well as my two Korean International documentaries, "YoonMee: Beyond Korea" and "Happy Girl".
I hope to capture a spectrum of voices from the foster care and adoption community. If you are interested in sharing your story, please send me an email at shelby.kilgore@wearemirrorlight.com.
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Shelby Redfield Kilgore
Mirror Light Productions
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I cannot believe that couple had to wait 17 months after getting his picture. When we adopted our daughter everyone got their photo of a small baby. We all left for Korea 10 weeks later when approval to travel came through. Except ours didn’t but we had to book the flights and hope because it was getting close to Christmas. That is our summer holidays and flights were almost booked out. We still had to leave without permission from our Government to travel so we weren’t sure what would happen.
No one picked us up from the airport but we didn’t know they were supposed to. We went to the Mission where other adoptive parents were staying and the first couple I spoke to didn’t have permission to travel either and their baby was younger than ours.
We met our daughter at 4 months old. Twelve days later we got too take her home. We did ask for a visit with Foster Mother because we didn’t know we got to spend exactly 30 minutes with our baby who was snatched and gone when the buzzer went. They told us they would pick us up in 12 days before our flights left. It was like this is your daughter that we had waited so long for and then they took her away. So a couple of hours with Foster Mother was very much needed. Our daughter was her 55th newborn she Fostered for adoptive parents and we stayed in contact with her for 5 years.
We got our baby a day early because they didn’t want to open the office on Sunday. We had to be at the airport by 6.00am for a Midday flight to Singapore and then home. We had to keep our baby covered in the Taxi and until we checked in. Then we were rushed into the crews lounge and told we were going on a flight to Japan two hours earlier where we had😊😊
We didn’t know until we got home what had changed. My sister was the only one with our flight numbers, she was also a Police Officer and so was her husband and my brother. Only the Police knew something had happened, it was not yet in the news. I called my sister when we landed and she cried, she had been working out how to get our bodies back. Our flight was the one blown up by the North Koreans in 1987 but it was blown up before it landed to get us.
We were Blessed, our baby was and is a beautiful gift that I hoped to share with her Birth Family but it didn’t happen. We have tried to take her back to Korea for trips from age 10 but she would not go. As soon as she graduated from University she left a week later to start traveling the world and other than Covid years she likes to spend 4 months of the year traveling.
I am so excited because next year she is going to Japan and Korea. About 2 years ago she fell in love with everything Korean. She always loved her Korean story books and books on her culture. My husband and I learned to cook Korean food and they both love it. They like more chili than I do but I am getting there. We still mostly eat Japanese and Korean food. Our daughter is still discovering most of it but she just turned 36 so she does not live at home now, she is missed terribly everyday and we travel to see her a few times a year. Or she will come to us. It is about time she is ready to discover where she came from and I wish I could go but this one is her journey. She only ever travels alone since she was 20.
I do not understand why Korea is making people wait so long for a baby. That makes it so much harder on the little one to adjust.
Your daughter is blessed!
I loved it
For me personally I think it's imperative that if y'all are adopting internationally that y'all HAVE a DUTY to learn about the culture, traditions, customs, food and EVERYTHING that goes with that!! In my humble opinion adoptee's NEED to KNOW that the effort was put in so they at least can have some idea's/answers to questions that come up as they get older. NOT knowing/learning all that y'all can is so detrimental and UNFAIR to them...it CAN'T be just swept under the rug and NOT talked about!! Okay...rant over. 😞😞😞 I'd love to see/hear an update on Marah...I realize this was filmed years ago but still. ❤❤❤ Shelby y'all are an amazing wonderful woman and I appreciate these informative videos...💝💝💝
Thank you so much. Marah is doing well. I hope to film an update with her eventually.
BOTH GIRLS ARE BEAUTIFUL
아이고 불쌍한 놈 좋은 식구에 가서 참 기쁘네요
Thought the one girl looked familiar. ua-cam.com/video/a7-5rcUeq9E/v-deo.html
Edit: Haha, I am totally slow. Mian he yo. Didn't realize the UA-cam page owner is the same person in the video. Btw, I'm literally staying in my birth parents house in Korea watching these videos. Weird plane circumstances had me in Incheon (where my birth family lives). I detoured for a few days.
Soooo close mind society. Hope it better these modern days.
In Canada, there are so much mixted race kids and they are absolutely gorgeous.
Mariage should not be an obligation. Here kids born oustide a mariage has the same right then any other kids. This is what i call an open mind and gender equality society. My parent are chinese immigrants who left their motherland for 37 years now. They have no trouble to accept my life partner who is a French Canadian and they love our mixte race son who are born outside marriage. This is only cultural and thing can change for better...more inclusive for those poor litle one.
I am a home stay parent for South Korean students, i have 2 young girls arriving in about 1.1/2 hrs, they are only here for 3 weeks, they will be going to their sister school here in Christchurch New Zealand for their school`s summer program, at the moment it is winter here .
When you described the sadness the boy had to leave his country, I could tell you are very compassionate people.
It would be great to see an update. It looks like the original video is 7 years old.
Judy Bridgewater they are doing really well.
Why is the background music so loud, too distracting.
It’s one of the first videos I produced, filmed and cut together and posted for this channel. I’m not an editor. But you’ll see in my more recent videos the music levels are a bit better I think. Hopefully it didn’t stop you from watching the full video. Creating these pieces about foster care and adoption is my heart work.
I have always had a love for Korea. My Dad was a Cpl. in the Korean war as a mechanic. It broke his heart when he visited the Cho Do Orphanage in Inchon. He sent requests back to our church in Utah and within a week the orphanage received bundles of clothes and a sewing machine. He passed his love for the people to us, his children. I have always wanted to look like them because of their beauty. I would pull the sides of my eyes out obsessively and hold it there for 30 + minutes at a time, because I wanted to have their beautiful eyes. I would have loved to adopt a little girl when I was younger, but sadly I was married to an idiot. Bless your beautiful Family! ♥🙏
The music in the background is annoying
Adoptee are loved by two families by birth parents and family who raised them.
It’s so much more nuanced than that. The life-long journey and trauma stemming from being separated at birth manifests at different times for adoptees. I’ve talked with some that didn’t realize how their life had been colored by their adoption until their 50s or 60s. It’s why it’s important to have a safe environment where the adoptee can express to their parents emotions they might be experiencing that aren’t always positive about their adoption. We can recognize that adoption is both grief and joy for some people and that it’s okay to hold those two differing emotions at the same time.
You grew up to be beautiful ladies. It turned out to be good. I believe it is better life in America than in Korea.
Some would say a different life, not better. And we would have grown up to look the same either way. So I’m unclear why that would be an indication that it turned out good.
Everyone is happy but the black person, same sad story told over and over again...😅 good video though
EPIC BLASIAN thank you. I hope I’ll be able to film an update with Marah. I’ve been keeping in touch with her over the years. It’s funny I think our stories have switched. I went back to Korea filming another story, the film is called “Happy Girl” and I tried to find my biological father and half siblings. It was very emotional for me and I realized I will probably never get to meet them. Another many lost relationships.
@@shelbyredfieldkilgore I see, I will have to check out your video 😁
EPIC BLASIAN thanks for checking out some of my other work. I haven’t documented yet the updates to my own story. “Happy Girl” features another adoptee’s story named Kathy.
Not true all the adults talked about the problems experienced as adoptees.
@@therealgodessisis Um. . . I think you missed my whole point there, did you even read what I wrote? 😂
It is interesting but at the same time hard to see the young couple rosy approach as you can also see the struggles of the adult adoptees.
This international trade in children should stop. All countries have their own children that can be adopted.
I understand the sentiment behind your comment, but unfortunately in many of these countries, there is still a MASSIVE stigma surrounding adoption (ex: in Korea you often hear "My family would never accept an adopted child. Why would you raise someone else's child?"). Some countries have tried closing or severely restricting international adoption, and many ended up with horrific crises and overfilled orphanages. Right now there's no perfect solution. The best thing that could happen is continuing to talk about adoption to help destigmatize it and make it less taoo, better sex ed and access to contraception and sorting things out policy wise on a country-level (for example, South Korea's family registry which causes a big uptick in abandonment). It's so damn difficult!
As a Korean adoptee that has visited the orphanages in Korea, I have mixed feelings about the quota system. The kids don't live in poverty in orphanages, but they are somewhat "destined" to a tough life in Korea. Will be extremely hard for them to break through a invisible ceilings in Korea.
I agree completely. I was also adopted from Korea.
Shelby? Are you promoting adoption? I am nayia remember me? The person from KSS pictures
nayia nayia Some of the adoption videos may seem more positive than others. But if you watch all of the ones I’ve made so far, I am telling the stories from how the adoptee, birth mother and adoptive parents feel. Not all of them are positive, because of their thoughts and feelings from their experiences with adoption. It’s been a few years now since I’ve made them, because it’s so close to home for me. I’m not trying to promote or deter adoption, I’m just trying to tell people’s stories to give insight into adoption and bring awareness about the struggles it may bring. It’s to open a dialogue, because when I was growing up, it wasn’t a topic most families talked about and I saw how that really hurt all parties involved.
Tyvm shelby for reacting on my comment. You are right, i didnt see most video's of yours. I just had to ask you to make sure what really your goal is. I think we both close to the same goal than. My opinion is really to let us (adoptees) speak to let people know what it really really does to us. We are grown up now and now we have a voice and can speak about it. For years and years we did not have a voice. Still these days is really hard to speak out what it did to us, drowned by the words from the not adoptees. Nobody really wants to hear what we have to say about it, cause we cannot giving the answers people want to hear. They had about 40 years to speak and they did. I think this is the new age time for us to speak out loud. Adoptee parents do not understand so they can never speak about what it does to us. We are the ones who can. I like them to be more in the background this time and let the adoptees speak. but that is my opinion. It's hard for adoptees hearing white people talking about with strong opinions based on what? Still these days speaking with us in the background. Because people are used by it it to over rule us with their strong opinions. Our intire lifes are over ruled by adoption. In my eyes they do not have a right. If people really want to hear the cold truth? It disgust me, i cant help it. It is our time, that is how i see it and i speak it out loud. I like your goal it's nothing personal meant for you, ty for your video's sharing. This is my message. Ty Shelby
Thank you for sharing.
With all my pleasure for you Shelby yvw
@@yahtoday2750 I completely agree with y'all!! I've always been interested in the Asian culture and traditions, customs etc...I ABSOLUTELY feel y'alls VOICES NEED TO BE HEARD. Blessings...❤❤❤