What happens when you FIGURE OUT a narcissist

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  • Опубліковано 7 сер 2024
  • What happens when you see a narcissist for who they really are? This is a 2 parter (all in one episode) that goes into detail about what happens in a relationship when you see a narcissist for who they really are. The other part goes into when the narcissist knows you know who they are and how they could react and treat you once they know, that you know
    Channel Memberships For More perks- / @mentalhealness
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    Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
    The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
    Website - www.mentalhealness.net
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    Thank you so much
    00:00 Introduction
    00:51 When you see them for who they are
    06:34 When a narcissist knows you know
    10:49 Ending

КОМЕНТАРІ • 452

  • @phyllistouchstone7136
    @phyllistouchstone7136 6 місяців тому +237

    Once you see them for what they really are, you really don’t want to be around them. I caught them in so many lies.

    • @nicholecornes1915
      @nicholecornes1915 6 місяців тому +8

      Ah the lies 😢

    • @gigga693
      @gigga693 6 місяців тому +27

      Facts. It’s honestly exhausting to try to unpack all of their manipulation tactics. So I reserve my energy. I don’t engage. It’s like “I don’t even care what you’re attempting to get away with- as long as you get away from me.”✌🏾

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 місяців тому +7

      💯

    • @humilitybeforehonorsmk2311
      @humilitybeforehonorsmk2311 5 місяців тому +7

      Once I saw the narcissist I formerly dated clearly, he didn't want to be around me.

    • @nicholecornes1915
      @nicholecornes1915 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@@MentalHealnessmy husband always made my stomach cringe.

  • @pathfinder6993
    @pathfinder6993 6 місяців тому +121

    When you see it you can't unsee it

  • @ChristinaVelazquez-jn1re
    @ChristinaVelazquez-jn1re 6 місяців тому +81

    It's not only that, you start to see it in other people

    • @iambella081
      @iambella081 6 місяців тому

      Yes!

    • @TheAcheron333
      @TheAcheron333 5 місяців тому

      Absolutely.

    • @passions329
      @passions329 5 місяців тому +7

      This! Even if they’re not a full blown narcissist, you see the narcissistic traits in everyone

    • @celiajames600
      @celiajames600 Місяць тому

      This!

  • @kelsawalsh9271
    @kelsawalsh9271 6 місяців тому +31

    My experience was that when the narcissist knew I knew, I was discarded.

  • @kobra4422
    @kobra4422 6 місяців тому +107

    From bamboozled to empowered 💪

  • @Just4uJules
    @Just4uJules 6 місяців тому +51

    It’s hard to believe someone can be so diabolical

    • @timmywitty1432
      @timmywitty1432 5 місяців тому +4

      It’s a spiritual sickness.

    • @stephaniemarshall6788
      @stephaniemarshall6788 5 місяців тому +1

      It's a demon, Mine doesn't wanna be this, he really isn't this person, I've known him 30 years, it happened over night about 15 years ago, he let it in, and never wanted the demon go, We are still trying with Jesus, I do know he has helped him so much already, just don't want him using Jesus against me. That would be on him

    • @stephaniemarshall6788
      @stephaniemarshall6788 5 місяців тому

      What I mean is, The saying I am with "Jesus" I don't see all the fruits of this. I see what he keeps doing. Not Jesus at all.

    • @debbier9555
      @debbier9555 5 місяців тому +1

      Sorry, what do you mean? He LET the demon in? Why?​@@stephaniemarshall6788

    • @AniyaLewis-gl1dw
      @AniyaLewis-gl1dw 3 місяці тому

      ​@@stephaniemarshall6788For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have eternal life. That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead thou shalt be saved. If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ. Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. So then because thou art Luke warm and neither cold nor hot I will spue thee out of my mouth.

  • @ogpatrice
    @ogpatrice 6 місяців тому +122

    When I realized my ex was a narcissist I exposed him to his new supply. He tried to come back but I knew it was just to hurt me even worse. I didn't allow it because I knew what he was up to. Don't fall for their hoovering. If you take them back, they'll treat you worse than before.💯

    • @jacalli
      @jacalli 6 місяців тому +6

      Did she actually listen to you?

    • @barbarabermingham9385
      @barbarabermingham9385 6 місяців тому +3

      👍💯🌟

    • @elliekinda5881
      @elliekinda5881 6 місяців тому

      I will treat them the same...I mean give them the same medicine and see if they like it....out play them on their own game😂😂😂😊

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 місяців тому +7

      💯💯

    • @joannedomingo2398
      @joannedomingo2398 6 місяців тому +6

      Ditto, I called him out, told his girlfriend and she dumped him too. He came to my house and threatened me that if I text her again he will have the police at my door… lol. I know revenge is coming. I’m vigilant and have a restraining order on my kitchen table ready to go. BUT, some videos say that order may make it worse.

  • @tthomas3tt
    @tthomas3tt 6 місяців тому +79

    When you think about that pain you went through and it took God to get you through it to heal and get delivered, aint no way I would want to grieve like that again willingly. 💪🏾💯

    • @joycenash8271
      @joycenash8271 6 місяців тому +5

      I like that. "Willingly."

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 місяців тому +2

      🙌🏾

    • @angelasimmons1902
      @angelasimmons1902 5 місяців тому +1

      ❤❤❤ yes I see it now & I can't be fooled anymore. Such a lier 😢& getting worst.

    • @tthomas3tt
      @tthomas3tt 5 місяців тому +1

      @angelasimmons1902 that pain hurts, but trust God during the process. Focus on you and your healing and turn that person over to God and let God deal with them. That battle is not yours. You matter, so put you first. Trust me, they will be alright. You being delivered from this will destroy any control this person "thinks" they may have. If God can heal and deliver me, He will do it for you too! You got this baby!💪🏾❤️🙏🏽💯

    • @nicholecornes1915
      @nicholecornes1915 4 місяці тому

      Omg yes

  • @cherylhall4823
    @cherylhall4823 6 місяців тому +156

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE this video!!!! It’s not so lonely of a space when someone else KNOWS what you have been through. Too difficult to explain to someone who doesn’t know, I sounded crazy trying to tell someone, I’m not crazy the situation was! I don’t talk about it to anyone anymore, it would take years!

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 місяців тому +7

      You got it

    • @gigga693
      @gigga693 6 місяців тому +3

      This 🎯

    • @crob8222
      @crob8222 6 місяців тому +18

      @cherylhall4823
      Reading your comment made me tear up because you are absolutely right. Friends tell you about the things their spouse do and think they can relate. No dear your person is just an a-hole. Dealing with a narcissist is at a whole other level .

    • @stephaniemarshall6788
      @stephaniemarshall6788 5 місяців тому +3

      I understand, No need to even say, lol. I am going thru withdrawals from some drug because he seemingly poisoning me again with shit 🤣😞😔💔no one would ever understand that hasn't been thru it. Stop letting them poison you. You be for yourself, then you can heal.

    • @queenleo6353
      @queenleo6353 5 місяців тому +2

      👋🏽🆗️👍🏾🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯💯💯💯

  • @laurajudai
    @laurajudai 6 місяців тому +56

    Took me four years and surviving a suicidal ideation to see the truth. I felt it all the time, but I could not believe someone could be that cruel and mean. Never felt better, when I understood that is not my fault, and now this nightmare is over.

    • @qbackus
      @qbackus 6 місяців тому +6

      Proud of you

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 місяців тому +1

      🥺😫🙌🏾

    • @tinytinatinkerbell
      @tinytinatinkerbell 6 місяців тому +4

      Stay strong. You can survivors this and thrive. Be brave

    • @laurajudai
      @laurajudai 6 місяців тому

      Thanks a lot guys, I`m sorry about my crappy english. Greetings from Brazil. 🩷

    • @knoxx1111
      @knoxx1111 6 місяців тому +1

  • @shaykay2389
    @shaykay2389 6 місяців тому +33

    Took me awhile to figure something was off but I couldn’t put a word to it..the last year was bad I felt the silent treatment, gaslighting, belittlement as soon as I start calling him out, stopped being a doormat and saying NO..I’m now 118 days no contact and narc free 🙏🏾

  • @yaaqubmasoud6580
    @yaaqubmasoud6580 6 місяців тому +73

    It's like you know that person for who he truly is after being enlightened about narcissists

  • @nickeyfynn3270
    @nickeyfynn3270 6 місяців тому +37

    She kept blaming me of being things that she was actually guilty of being. For a moment I started to believe her, but snapped out of it quick.

  • @kimhumiston2686
    @kimhumiston2686 6 місяців тому +29

    Thank you Lee. I dealt with my narcissistic jealous older sister for 66 years and the whole family put up with her, just because that's the way she is. Thanks to videos such as yours, I saw the truth when I was her target at a family get together. Once you see it, there is no going back. You start thinking about different things in the past that they said, or things they did, and just realize how devious they are. Been no contact now for 5 months. It's hard but necessary.

  • @user-fb9br3ms7t
    @user-fb9br3ms7t 6 місяців тому +11

    My dad had no clue what was wrong with my mother. Therefore, we as children had no clue. Mental health awareness has also come a long way!

  • @lunarisingdivination
    @lunarisingdivination 6 місяців тому +13

    This is soooo spot on! After 26 years I cannot unsee this stranger I’m married too. Now the mask slipped it’s impossible to deny or ignore what’s underneath, and they get worse and worse.

  • @Cy-bz9jh
    @Cy-bz9jh 6 місяців тому +12

    as PracticalPie says.... "A narcissist who loses control may react with anger, manipulation, and denial, struggling to regain the power they feel slipping away."

  • @michellelynch2698
    @michellelynch2698 6 місяців тому +21

    It took me over 3 years to get out of the phase of the narcissist but I guarantee you my life been so
    much peaceful now 💯🙌🏾🧘🏾‍♀️‼️

  • @jennifermaxam2111
    @jennifermaxam2111 6 місяців тому +11

    There is life after a narcissist! It's one you can feel relevant safe, and important. Divorcing my narc is the best thing I have ever done in years!

  • @dianaschramer5065
    @dianaschramer5065 6 місяців тому +23

    Or if you refuse to take off the Narc Goggles, you hear, "You've gone crazy. You need psychological help."

    • @recoveringsoul755
      @recoveringsoul755 6 місяців тому +5

      Victim blaming. Because the abuser won't ever get help and there is no treatment. So they blame the victims

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 місяців тому +3

      💯💯🎯🎯

  • @cherylhall4823
    @cherylhall4823 6 місяців тому +27

    The see it and can’t go back is 💯 you don’t want anything to do with them again

    • @cherylhall4823
      @cherylhall4823 6 місяців тому +5

      You see the behaviors everywhere like a superpower you’ve just acquired

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 місяців тому

      💯

  • @chimerejackson2118
    @chimerejackson2118 5 місяців тому +12

    I never know what to expect minute by minute. The changes after i expose him that take place are exhausting

  • @shundawilliams8543
    @shundawilliams8543 6 місяців тому +39

    Once I figured out something wasn't right with my ex narcissist (but at the time I didn't know he was a narcissist) meaning going from being the love of his life then after 4 months being mistreated, devalued, abused mentally, physically and emotionally then hoovered just to be mistreated all over again. Mocking how he made me feel and laughing at how he made me feel and hurting me opened my eyes to see him differently and he noticed I figured him out but it didn't make him treat me better I feel like it made him worst especially when he saw I was staying. But he didn't know I was planning my escape and once I did I didn't look back and blocked him on everything before he could block me because blocking and unblocking and ghosting me was a form of punishing me so I blocked him as soon as I left him before he could block me because I didn't want him having the control of taunting me on social media or stalking me.

  • @Shawnee1baby
    @Shawnee1baby 6 місяців тому +55

    Your content has been life saving. I was so low last year that I contemplated suicide because I thought that would be the only way to get away from this person. My children kept me going and I’m now stronger than ever now that I know what I’m really dealing with. Thank you❤

    • @joycenash8271
      @joycenash8271 6 місяців тому +10

      Hold on sis! Your children are your greatest commodity. I 've been there and contemplated the same.
      But they have one mom, and they love you greatly!

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 місяців тому +3

      stay empowered

  • @andreaherron968
    @andreaherron968 6 місяців тому +15

    Im mad at myself for ever wanting to get back with my ex. I left him and then when we got back together he treated me worse than he did the first time. Now i know why.

  • @deeholmes9743
    @deeholmes9743 6 місяців тому +28

    When you know better, you have to do better for yourself. Whatever it takes- Do better.

  • @tranquility9325
    @tranquility9325 6 місяців тому +55

    When one of them acted like a baby and started whining while we were having yet another argument, I literally felt an odd feeling inside my body...my internal alarm system got triggered.
    This is 🔥 Lee.

    • @Wayoutgurl
      @Wayoutgurl 6 місяців тому

      Whining? lol! They r something!

    • @tranquility9325
      @tranquility9325 5 місяців тому

      @@Wayoutgurl yup. Supposed grown man child being a 2 yo

  • @AStarozzy89
    @AStarozzy89 6 місяців тому +13

    Narcissist Self confession in court ; ‘I played a game but it backfired’ their whole life a joke, don’t be a player in their sick game.

  • @MrsCaranAmy
    @MrsCaranAmy 6 місяців тому +35

    One thing I finally discovered it was never enough for me giving to him. I am tired of it. . Thank you.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 місяців тому +2

      You’re welcome

    • @Saraflowerk
      @Saraflowerk 6 місяців тому +8

      They do one nice thing for you then their mission becomes "All I want is to be appreciated."

  • @rachelroth6820
    @rachelroth6820 6 місяців тому +28

    Monster
    Conman
    Disgusted looking at him

    • @Em-im1yz
      @Em-im1yz 5 місяців тому

      100% agreed

  • @arianjohnson272
    @arianjohnson272 6 місяців тому +27

    I love how this man is shinning by helping people.

  • @NaturalDivaBeauty
    @NaturalDivaBeauty 6 місяців тому +12

    When I finally figured it out, I knew at that point the only choice I had was to leave.

  • @IMTinaMarieJ
    @IMTinaMarieJ 6 місяців тому +16

    As always, u spoke nothing but FACTS Lee. I refused to remove the glasses & now 1 yr later my vision is crystal clear

  • @DestinyWorthy
    @DestinyWorthy 6 місяців тому +34

    Thank You, for wanting the best for us ❤

  • @georgettapettigrew994
    @georgettapettigrew994 4 місяці тому +3

    When my narcisstic ex realized that i knew his game, He would forcus on my support system as well as his with the intent to brainwash them into believing that he is the victim & that his deceit is "All in my head". I would literally catch him in his lies, You are absolutely right, He just deny, deny, deny.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  4 місяці тому +1

      💯💯

    • @georgettapettigrew994
      @georgettapettigrew994 4 місяці тому

      @@MentalHealness Thanks for your support, You are awesome for spreading awareness to all victims of narcissism & to any narcisstic person. May the lord bless all of us on our healing journey.

  • @Annie-ol3jx
    @Annie-ol3jx 6 місяців тому +14

    Yes,this is so very true. I will never see that entity the same,ever again. I thank God i got educated, gain knowledge and insight into this dangerous, deadly disorder. I thank you for your honesty,and sharing your self with the world. At least we can see what the other side looks like. Continue in your therapy, it works if you work it!!

  • @anneyoung2310
    @anneyoung2310 6 місяців тому +16

    Lee-your comedic/character bits make understanding narcissism more palatable. This was loaded with helpful insight. Thanks.
    You right! They have done some dirty scandalous things that they don't want anyone to know.

  • @NathanSegal
    @NathanSegal 6 місяців тому +18

    Went through a breakup with the narc twice. The second time I told my ex I was pretty sure I knew what was happening, then I went no contact. 7.5 months of no contact. No phone calls, emails, nothing. And NO snooping or shadowing on my part. Love the part about when you see who the narc is, you cannot under AND you have choice. F-cking awesome.

  • @tashcow90
    @tashcow90 6 місяців тому +7

    The Narc Goggles.. 🤓
    My ex stopped love bombing and started trying to create arguments. I pointed this out and said "The toxicity is from you". He was very responsive to this point, reacting via text, then in person "I'm concerned that you think I'm toxic".
    And low and behold, toxic behaviour went upto 100. The entire experience (including love bombing) was only a few months long, but I'm now hopefully starting therapy as a result.
    (Whilst dealing with hoovering and requests to 'just be friends').

  • @jacquelinebrown1305
    @jacquelinebrown1305 6 місяців тому +7

    The ghosting was awful, the flying monkey/supply is hilarious, can’t believe this happened, just crazy

  • @user-yu3bf5ke7u
    @user-yu3bf5ke7u 6 місяців тому +5

    That’s huge they will keep change their choices up onto something that benefits them” that right there helped me to understand why commitment was not his thing. He always wanted choice the choice to choose something else that benefits him more. 😮

  • @tomekhiavega3237
    @tomekhiavega3237 18 днів тому +1

    I didn't even know anything about his NARC behaviors until we broke up 5 months ago and all of a sudden at the break up I have been listening an researching this disorder ever since. It's been great for me to learn and understand and to definitley know I was NEVER the problem. I even saw the traits within my family and how to deal with them too.

  • @peachesmcgee4795
    @peachesmcgee4795 6 місяців тому +8

    So true! This happened when i realised an old friend was a narcissist.

  • @BrandyBrandalia
    @BrandyBrandalia 6 місяців тому +44

    You become their worst enemy. At least that's what happened in my case.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 місяців тому +3

      ‼️

    • @deeevansnola8178
      @deeevansnola8178 6 місяців тому

      In their mind

    • @soulTraveller144
      @soulTraveller144 6 місяців тому +2

      That's because they do not have the real capability to love . They are more of an enemy that a comrade. Its more important for them to control and win than care about someone truly

    • @devadomino4624
      @devadomino4624 6 місяців тому

      My nex wanted immediately space and were in shock..came back after four days acting cold..I am ignoring him since than ..I really do not know how or what about I could have a conversation with him...since I know ..

    • @soulTraveller144
      @soulTraveller144 6 місяців тому

      @@devadomino4624 just give yourself all the love and attention with your energy and try get them out of your space and life

  • @augustineschaefer5522
    @augustineschaefer5522 6 місяців тому +6

    You could be a tough love empath. Stay the course of high road…and remember that any one of us could be walking in your shoes.
    Keep digging in.

  • @user-nq1ry7ne1e
    @user-nq1ry7ne1e 6 місяців тому +8

    Everything my narcissist does to me i do back . I have beoken him down completely for messing with me but nowadays i put it in Gods hands and oh boy thats the best decisions i wver made. He didnt know i had experience with narcissist in my life and just cuz im nice sweet and giving dont mean i dont have a fire in me . I tought him a lesson . And i did it for all the women before and to come . He had the right one this time 100

  • @faye_bulous
    @faye_bulous 6 місяців тому +4

    The Blue pill analogy is spot on. It’s crazy and confusing to wake up and see these individuals for who they really are

  • @lindseyking6920
    @lindseyking6920 6 місяців тому +4

    Thank you. I finally saw this yesterday. It is what it is I have a choice to not want him back. He started calling me the b word threatening me. So dealing with the pain 19 years and he is who he is.

  • @saraschmidt5073
    @saraschmidt5073 6 місяців тому +7

    Hi Lee, I just discovered your channel, and I so appreciate what you do.
    I feel if I watch a video a day, it will help me maintain clarity.
    My mother is a narcissist. I’m FINALLY seeing her for who she is, after a lifetime of moving across the country, multiple times, trying to break free, yet still show her my love and the loyalty of a daughter.
    No more. She cut me too deep. And now I’m seeing the life I lived of being abused.
    I found a place I love. It’s time to start purely and simply enjoying life. And making sure to keep guarded so I don’t allow her back into my life.

  • @ezra4518
    @ezra4518 6 місяців тому +3

    When i found your videos and was listening to them, it was really hard for me to like
    them because I was dealing with covert narcissist. But now I’m starting to like your videos.

  • @kanani717
    @kanani717 6 місяців тому +2

    Thanks for the heads up again--I hope we all win.

  • @KKP20111
    @KKP20111 6 місяців тому +6

    And you wake us up for real, Lee! 💯 Thank you and bless you for that! 💯🙏❤️

  • @thepurestbashir-xr5ex
    @thepurestbashir-xr5ex 6 місяців тому +2

    He was emotionally unavailable that’s how I figured him out how he was using me it’s been 9 months no contact and I’m feeling better and I feel I have woken up that he wasn’t good for me … it don’t matter how attractive he was I know now I don’t see him in the same way but I will never forget what he did because he waisted my years and hurt me tremendously

  • @lovingsoulsministries3
    @lovingsoulsministries3 4 місяці тому +1

    Lee, I’m so proud of you. Thank you for taking responsibility and putting in the work. You are inspiring. My ex is malignant, and wishing anyone well is not a possibility for him. To hear you wish others well is refreshing.

  • @LilyM919
    @LilyM919 4 місяці тому +1

    It give me so much anexity realizing after 10 months that hes a narcissist. I only knew it after watching your video. He fit the profile 100% ... weren't togther anymore but he pop up once a month with diffrent phone number

  • @kelseypavestheway
    @kelseypavestheway 6 місяців тому +8

    I caught him in so many lies too from other women's IG stories. Its so difficult to really believe it's who they actually are. I don't wanna believe it at all but I have to. I wanna go back more than anything to the good times but it was that fake peg leg. I know relationships have good and bad but like you described last night it's not supposed to be dragging you thru the darkest times. It's just so sad.

  • @terridillon3053
    @terridillon3053 6 місяців тому +2

    Run!
    Get away as fast and as soon as you can.

  • @mekaw5929
    @mekaw5929 6 місяців тому +5

    That's what the ex situationship narcissists would say to me.....I JUST WANT TO SEE YOU WIN😅...smh

  • @tinytinatinkerbell
    @tinytinatinkerbell 6 місяців тому +13

    The abuse was ongoing every day morning to night with sleep depravity adde. Felt like a zombie most days. What i don't understand is this. How do they maintain this without burning themselves out. Surely they have to be exhausted . Its like an abuser on steroids 😅

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 місяців тому +3

      😫

    • @barbarabermingham9385
      @barbarabermingham9385 6 місяців тому +3

      None Of It Was Worth It “If You Even Look Back”🎯💯

    • @karleo82
      @karleo82 6 місяців тому +2

      This is probably why they sleep so hard lol

  • @vickicarringer4235
    @vickicarringer4235 6 місяців тому +6

    You are living proof that narcissists can have empathy for others. I cant buy into the idea that they are damaged beyond repair. I think unless they are sadistic that there is hope. If I see a narcissist as inheritantly bad it makes me feel as if I am judging a petson. Only God can judge. I am but a meer mortal. I have some narcissistic traits myself. When i start being overly harsh in my judgements i stop long enough to realize i would not want God to judge me in such a black and white manner. Judge not lest you be judged. You dont need to be a door-mat either.

    • @tranquility9325
      @tranquility9325 6 місяців тому +1

      The majority of narcs never want therapy. That's why I have so much respect for Lee. He was always interested in self improvement and psychotherapy also.

    • @marvinpercival4717
      @marvinpercival4717 6 місяців тому

      The bible describe narcisist as the evil people satans mimions.tgey r the children of lies.

  • @Thebeautifulandbroken
    @Thebeautifulandbroken 6 місяців тому +5

    How do you get the raw truth out of a narcissist? Even when I have undeniable proof, he still lies and denies. At this point, I just want the truth for closure.

    • @s.9806
      @s.9806 6 місяців тому

      You will never get it from them! And even when you get it, then what? You already got the proof! Don’t chase them for answers bc it will drive you crazy and that actually is their game to confuse you and drive you crazy.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 місяців тому +8

      you dont. some will never confess and you dont need a confession if you have proof

    • @Wayoutgurl
      @Wayoutgurl 6 місяців тому

      Shol don’t need closure. It’s closed when we close it!! Like Katt Williams said.. “ I don’t know why liars lie.” 😂
      They just do. I dang sure wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for them to confess a darn thing!! Too much work!

  • @shaunogg9966
    @shaunogg9966 6 місяців тому +4

    This is so true. I can now see a narcissist from a distance. An example is the movie "Queen of the damned" where because one of the main character knows about the existence of vampires she can spot them a mile away. She sees the pale clammy skin and glinting eyes as she walked down an alley to a vampire bar.

  • @trj555
    @trj555 6 місяців тому +3

    Narc vision, narc goggles, that uhuk ahauk chuckle KILLS ME 😂. Thnak you for keeping us thrivers and survivers on our toes Lee 🙌🏽

  • @JackBurtonYT
    @JackBurtonYT 6 місяців тому +2

    Dude.. you are not kidding.. conversations are so diferent now.. it's like i grab the popcorn and watch the show now, vs being in the muck and mire and trying to do anything and everything i can to please them.. thanks to you for the input and your side of what I'm a part of.

  • @rachelleigh7323
    @rachelleigh7323 6 місяців тому +4

    🤯 the second part of this blew my mind. The exact same thing happened to me, all the way down to the music switch. I took it as her mind opening, even knowing and making it known, she was a narcissist 🤦‍♀️
    She discarded me, again, after refusing therapy. A promise she made and broke, and then chose to leave over professional help🙃
    I am more than grateful for your videos 🙏You have been a great asset to my healing journey and have helped me more than I can put into words. Thank you so much for your honesty and willingness to share your side and struggles👏💪🙌

  • @michellelynch2698
    @michellelynch2698 6 місяців тому +4

    I'm proud of myself 💪🏾 I saw it but ignored at first, but after going through the ghost mode and gas lighting and manipulation and lies and everything else then the discard came I knew all about it because i was married to a narc so I cut ties and walked away because he showed me who he was 💯💯‼️

  • @kakag.7401
    @kakag.7401 6 місяців тому +1

    That matrix analogy was too good 👌🏽👌🏽 felt that

  • @katherinehennessey2377
    @katherinehennessey2377 6 місяців тому +2

    That's how he is about me watching videos like this he thinks they're corrupting my mind and putting things in my head

  • @Wayoutgurl
    @Wayoutgurl 6 місяців тому +1

    You can’t unsee it because they won’t change!!! 😂

  • @stunston
    @stunston 6 місяців тому +5

    He says," Im not telling you to Leave." I would suggest you leave, its not worth it in the long term.🤷‍♂

  • @user-yu3bf5ke7u
    @user-yu3bf5ke7u 6 місяців тому +3

    I’m in the matrix it’s not hard anymore to not hard to fall for their bull…. He’s trying to take away my narc vision …. Trying to manipulate me to take them off…. lol I love how you put humor into it. You seriously could do a standup about narcissists

  • @natlovesfashion27
    @natlovesfashion27 6 місяців тому +8

    “20-20 Narc vision” ….. 😂😂😂

  • @barbarabermingham9385
    @barbarabermingham9385 6 місяців тому +5

    Absolutely Agree On It All, Was There Too Many Times🎯🧨🚩🚩

  • @Wayoutgurl
    @Wayoutgurl 6 місяців тому +1

    They won’t accept it. Even tho I’ve shown it and they see it in others.. but they are in denial about themselves.

  • @jeangower7776
    @jeangower7776 6 місяців тому +1

    I had a head injury with lasting memory issues. All red flags noticed were quickly forgotten. As I got better the more I noticed. The more I noticed, the crazier and sicker he said I was. It was me. All in my head. The pattern I saw in him I couldn’t unsee. I started fact checking him. I started Grey rocking him and not responding emotionally. It made him INSANELY ANGRY.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 місяців тому

      😫😫

    • @jeangower7776
      @jeangower7776 6 місяців тому

      @@MentalHealness He ended up running away. It’s okay. Between therapy, yours and Dr. Ramani’s videos, it helped me understand what happened and be able to start healing. My kiddos also like your book. Thanks 🙏

  • @Saraflowerk
    @Saraflowerk 6 місяців тому +6

    I just cut things off with two. The one was easier because I only knew him a month and he was pretty cold once we got to a certain point, but the other one I've had several different eras with him. We've even supported each other's writing and such. That one's harder to leave, but it has to be done.

    • @moogledoodles
      @moogledoodles 6 місяців тому

      That’s what you get for juggling

    • @Saraflowerk
      @Saraflowerk 6 місяців тому

      @@moogledoodles oh these were at two different times. Interesting assumption.

    • @moogledoodles
      @moogledoodles 6 місяців тому

      @@Saraflowerk “I JUST cut things off with TWO”… wording 🥴

    • @moogledoodles
      @moogledoodles 6 місяців тому

      @@Saraflowerk it’s evident from your photo that you’re a two timer that lacks self respect anyway. Enjoy your… several different eras 💀

    • @Saraflowerk
      @Saraflowerk 6 місяців тому

      @@moogledoodles Yes. One came back after I cut the other one off. Come on, think before you judge.

  • @graceandgratitude9256
    @graceandgratitude9256 6 місяців тому +1

    Amen...🥰We STOP Beating Ourselves up! We learn & wake up to CHOOSE BETTER❤

  • @crystalball3717
    @crystalball3717 9 днів тому

    Very, very good info. & video. Thank you so much. I feel like my future has been robbed. Also, when I’ve brought up changes that he made he would act like I should’ve known and he’ll sing, “If you don’t know me by now, you will never never know me, ooooooo.”

  • @Scorpio410
    @Scorpio410 5 місяців тому +1

    Me having my first child with a narc exposed every narc in my life which was more than a lil bit because I wasn’t educated damn near everybody I was close to had this disorder 😢

  • @paigeallemand5715
    @paigeallemand5715 6 місяців тому +2

    My experience was when I could see them for what they were you was right it hurt but that "oh that's just how they are" was relieving to me because I spent so long blaming myself! And in my situation when I seen who they were they absolutely lost their minds. Like got crazy violent and acted like they were the ones that hated me lol

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 4 місяці тому +1

    That fog is crazy so dangerous

  • @carolinelaronda4523
    @carolinelaronda4523 6 місяців тому +3

    Yes Lee ! This is so true 😩😩🤯

  • @dawnfinley1166
    @dawnfinley1166 6 місяців тому +2

    I needed this message this morning!!! Greetings from Detroit Michigan ❤

  • @MellieAnn
    @MellieAnn 6 місяців тому +6

    What about narcissism in the workplace- you have to coexist

    • @barbarabermingham9385
      @barbarabermingham9385 6 місяців тому +2

      Some Times People Have To Switch To Another Job (Very Difficult)🧐

  • @IsabellaPiesch
    @IsabellaPiesch 6 місяців тому +8

    First you fall in a deep hole. It is absolutley awful. But if you are alone (because of discard after exposing) you will realize this was the best what could happen to you.

    • @barbarabermingham9385
      @barbarabermingham9385 6 місяців тому +3

      Very Difficult (I Support All Who Have Gone Thru A Living Hell Literally)And Often Your Alone After, I Suppose It’s A Lesson We Go through In Life, Another Challenge 🤍💜🌺

    • @perpetuaL524
      @perpetuaL524 6 місяців тому +3

      I wanted to leave a long time ago because I am very emotionally aware and sensitive, so I saw his one-sidedness very quickly. I wrote it off as "ADHD" (as I suffer too) - as he constantly used it as a scapegoat, but this is way beyond that. he lost 3 "best friends" in like a year and a half span ... and he still thinks its everyone else's fault lmfao. I was the closest to him so I was the last to go, of course after he got new supply from his gf, and other friend groups who started being active online again.. and probably enough time past since the last time he upset some of them. We 3 are all friends. lol. he actually tried hoovering one of the other two since that was the first one he discarded/blamed for his own behavior/shitty treatment. thankfully he has great boundaries. It's amazing how completely predictable people like this are. I feel bad for him, but I value myself and others too much to entertain this nothing short of deeply toxic behavior.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 місяців тому +1

      😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

    • @soulTraveller144
      @soulTraveller144 6 місяців тому

      @@perpetuaL524 i am interested to chat to you about the adhd/narcissistic traits and how to truly differentiate..

    • @perpetuaL524
      @perpetuaL524 6 місяців тому

      @@soulTraveller144 If you search yt for adhd vs covert narcissism you'll get some professionals telling you. From my experience and from having ADHD myself, the difference is how they handle conflict - thats how you can tell mostly. do they get passive-aggressive? do they follow through eventually? Narcs simply future-fake. they never intend to do or prioritize what they promise to. adhders have issues with remembering and follow-through but they'll definitely get it done, they're just inconsistently inconsistent. Narcs are consistently inconsistent. if that makes sense. Next, do they value you during confrontation? you can tell with a narc and the split they do, that you are not important to them. its because they cannot accurately understand how you feel or care because you're a threat to them in some way, hence the split. if you are still being idealized, you'll see a consistent need for your validation and rarely will things be about you. they may mention you but its usually backhanded comments, because they don't have new supply, so they need to appease your "weak" need for silly things like conflict resolving - the irony. they don't resolve conflicts they either fight (overt narc) and dominate and bully OR they go passive-aggressive and stonewall/avoid. Both types come back to you randomly and act like nothing ever happened. they never genuinely and authentically work things out, they never have a true discussion about conflict - its why they cannot grow. when they fail they blame the world, you or anything and everything else. they are the ultimate victims, Afterall. I hope that helps a little.

  • @debraburrell7020
    @debraburrell7020 4 місяці тому

    Great video, Lee. I agree 100%.

  • @lizp5449
    @lizp5449 4 місяці тому

    It's not hard get out of your emotions and seek truth,truth,truth. The vibration.of truth is a thousand times more powerful than any lie

  • @jenniferbenavides7031
    @jenniferbenavides7031 5 місяців тому

    Thanks for the insight! I appreciate this!

  • @ericxb
    @ericxb 6 місяців тому +1

    great communicator, thank you man

  • @carin5767
    @carin5767 6 місяців тому +1

    LOVE your wake -up show 💕.WOW !Amazing video, thank you from the bottom of my heart - again🙏😘

  • @lovice43
    @lovice43 3 місяці тому +1

    Great video. Thanks 🙏🏾

  • @holliblazer378
    @holliblazer378 6 місяців тому +2

    What i don't understand is how my future ex husband kept up the act of being caring and all that good stuff for almost 2 years before he really started showing his true colors....is it normal for a narc to hide their true selves that long?

  • @juliaedi111
    @juliaedi111 6 місяців тому +1

    I'm happy for you and your family. Keep up the good work of working on yourself.

  • @Solafein
    @Solafein 6 місяців тому +2

    Hey bro! Ty for all the info you've been puting out there for us, you may not be Goku but you are our Vegeta for sure. Incredible value on this video!
    Peace!

  • @leec48s45
    @leec48s45 5 місяців тому

    Great video Lee. I didn't realize I was in a narcissistic relationship at the time I told her I see you completely differently now and she became very dark and disconnected from me. It was breadcrumming from then on and then reverse discard before I found all these resources pointing out the narcissism.

  • @Keptbygrace
    @Keptbygrace 6 місяців тому +1

    I noticed that everyone has a narcisstic part in us. The onliest problem is when a trauma or a lifelie makes the Individual overstepping boundaries without concience. Its actually a shark life- eating or being eaten. But that is Not a law for loving relationships. Who wants to fight a lifetime in marriage

  • @nataliehilton1
    @nataliehilton1 3 місяці тому

    I've been separated for like 6 months. I kinda forgot the bad. Let me PUT THE GLASSES ON AND LEAVE THEM ON. THANK YOU LEE

  • @caricewatkins8948
    @caricewatkins8948 6 місяців тому

    THANK YOU LEE YOUR A LIFE SAVER ❤ ITS CRAZY EVERY VIDEO IT'S HIM WOW

  • @Mztrue87
    @Mztrue87 6 місяців тому +4

    I'm at this stage now... Tried to leave today. He hoovered & i went bk 🙄🥴Knowing full well he's not gonna learn shit or change😂. I'm trauma bonded now. I wanna be happy with him, but i'm in a cycle with him right now where i take him bk & he gets worse. He's playing mind games right now to throw me off the scent of his cheating ways. Found out about 2women since we've been together. He's told me he's trying to be a better man but still cheating & lying 😂 He loves when me and the other women were fighting believing whatever he says, now we're on gd terms he hates it cz we can just ring each other and have a civil conversation if he still fucking around.

  • @michellehendrickson9652
    @michellehendrickson9652 6 місяців тому +2

    You got that right!! You open your eyes n are like wtf did i waste my time ,time i will NEVER GET BACK but i guess LESSON LEARNED.... BUT REALLY LEE IS MESSED UP TOTALLY.. MESSING WITH PPLES FEELINGS N BEATING THEM DIEM MENTALLY EMOTIONALLY, AND WITH SOME PHYSICALLY!¡