100% and con artists will use an emotional plea such as “now that were engaged we should get a joint account” or “since were planning a future we should merge our finances”
The trick is to not feel guilty about the demands that others would make on you, particularly when there is a low probability that the demand will be reciprocated. Another is to not respond to pressure. If an offer is valid and fair today, it should also be valid and fair next week.
I met this guy at the supermarket the other day. He started bull shitting with me about my kid and his kid and some other common things. Then he told me about his awesome job and how he met a guy who took him under his wing. Long story short it was a pyramid scheme type sales job he was pitching me. That fucker wasted like 20 minutes of my life. Lesson learned. Don't talk to strangers.
ayy... saw you at school of life... I completely agree with your comment in response to the video on how we should look back on history to make us feel better... also would you be interested in buying a bottle of shampoo for 4.99?
Eddar Stark am I really commenting that much that you recognize me from another channel or do I have my comment history public somewhere? Also I use white rain shampoo. $1.29 a bottle.
Or write a very tiny 'yes' on the ceiling and put a ladder under it, you might end up marrying John Lennon and single-handedly destroying the best rock band of all time.
A friend had to work interstate for a few weeks. They had a pet rabbit & asked if I would look after it. I didn't want to & even though my friend was persistent I said no. A few days before they were due to leave they asked if I would like to use their car while they were gone. I don't NEED a car & if I WANTED a car I would go out & buy one... I really didn't want to have their car - it was just another complication in my life I didn't need. But whatever, I don't need the car, but sure, if it makes you happy I'll look after your car for you while you're gone... Really, I thought I was doing them a favour... Next thing they say is, "Well, seeing as you'll have my car while I'm gone, you can look after my rabbit!" What a sucker I was - I should have seen that trap a mile off!!! But the story doesn't end there... So I'm at a friends house & I say that I've got to go & look after this rabbit, so I start to say goodbye. My other friend says, "Well, I'm not doing anything. Is it okay if I come with you?" So we jump in the car & drive to where the rabbit is. On the drive there my other friend looks at the windscreen & says, "Hey, did you notice that this car isn't registered???" WOW!!! No, the car was NOT registered. It had been registered (in their parents home state) but they'd been driving the car around for 6 years or so where we lived. I quizzed the rabbit owner when they got back & they swore to my face that they'd paid the registration... I guess the Motor Vehicle Department finally caught up with them, because eventually the car was towed & impounded. I'm not friends with the Rabbit owner any more & my life is uncomplicated again! :)
So the first trap was that they hoped you'd look after the rabbit, drive the car and wreck it? then after a couple times, they'd ask you to watch over the car and check out the rabbit in hopes you'd drive the car? was it a nice car? or were they just tryna get a couple hundred bucks from ya?
I got conned once out of a thousand dollars by a friend. After the fact, I realized I was being groomed all along. Still makes me sick to think about it, but I did--at least--analyze it and figured out what were the vulnerabilities that I had that he used against me. Basically, I was lonely and needed a friend at the time. I consoled myself with the idea that it was my kindness that was exploited--the money was supposed to pay his rent--and that I learned some lessons. But it still hurts: not the money, the being a fool.
@@yvonnejensen1969 One last bit. The last time I saw that guy, he scolded me for not being angry. I was, but I wasn't going to show it. I guess that's part of the kick for them. Sadism
@@nicholasschroeder3678 lol i am glad to hear that you didn't give them what they wanted. they only did that to emotionally dis-regulate you. be happy to know that at that moment that monster was terrified and insecure- that's why they wanted that emotional reaction. these people are walking husks constantly trying to fill that empty with ANYTHING. they walk in terror every moment, no matter how much they smile. even the money was more about this than the actual rent. i have compassion but only in the way that i see them for exactly what they are. they will always hurt you because that's how they handle pain and uncertainty and being human is always being in a little pain and uncertainty. these people have very low resilience levels for pain and are constantly trying to relieve it rather than build resilience. childhood abuse and a narcissistic only worsens the situations. do not be hard on yourself. anyone can be foolish and anyone can be fooled. the only true way to be a fool is to ignore these two facts. that's what con-artists count on - that our ego will override our common sense and that we will blame ourselves for being fooled and keep quiet.
I know someone conned by a friend by a thousand dollars too, the friend made this big act up that his mother was gonna die and he couldn’t pay treatment. Turns out that he never moved in with his mother he was just pure scum and really really good at acting too
This is so true! How often do dead beat relatives come around with a sob story about being broke? Too often? Yeah... I thought so. It really is ok to say no! Don't let the trolls drag you down!
@@GMarieBehindTheMask I think this person meant the kinds of idiot relatives who think it's completely fine to just keep asking for money and using it on something useless rather than trying to improve their lives with it. Those types of relatives would lose my respect very quickly and would never gain it back unless they manage to improve their life themselves.
I guy I was seeing was a con artist and had me completely fooled. He knew I had just gotten over a one-sided relationship and was down and he told me his ex died in a car accident so we became friends over that, then started to date... long story short turns out he made the entire story up to gain my sympathy and made up his ex dying to explain where he was in life claiming he lost their house & his job due to her death when he was just a loser who lacked any ambition. This guy wanted a future with me and I almost screwed up my life! It’s so scary .
I sold computers for about 9 years. I had to sell service plans. What I found myself doing was establishing a rapport by doing a magnificent job. I made sure I gave them all the information they needed. I also built trust by letting them know when they might be wasting money. To be honest, I didn't want them maxing out without having enough to buy the plan. I would mention the plan early, but only in passing, as a way to plant the seed. I would introduce things in order, as a structured sales process, in a very non pushy way. I came across like I was just running them through the standard sales process to make sure they know all there is available to them. This usually kept their defenses down. I NEVER appeared to want to sell the plan too bad. Even when negotiating a price, a came across as though I was only helping them. I'm not a dishonest or bad person, but when my job depended on selling plans, I did use a few minor manipulation tools, but I wouldn't lie to them.
The fundamental nature of the confidence game is "Information Asymmetry". It's neither paranoid nor cynical to recognize that someone is trying to distract you from recognizing that they have information that you don't, and are attempting to exploit that to get something from you. It's still your choice to acquiesce or not, based upon whatever other factors are involved; but knowing the rules of the game that's being played is nothing to apologize for. Anyone who would try and shame you for that only does so in bitterness over their perceived lost advantage. Fuck those people.
These are just basic sales techniques... charm the customer, sell yourself, close the deal. Difference between a salesman and a con artist is if they deliver on their promise. The problem isn't the sales techniques, its what happens after the deals done.
@@allenmontrasio8962 At bottom, all persuasion techniques are propaganda. Look up the 737Max on the Boeing website: do they admit that the crashes happened because they took shortcuts to get the product out fast? Of course not. Is a salesman ever going to admit that, actually, their product isn't perfect and a competitor's might in some ways be better? No. Is a smart-phone salesman going to go out of his way to tell you that lithium batteries can catch fire or even explode? Uh-uh. The tobacco companies knew that smoking causes cancer. Did they admit it? No way. They hired tame scientists to spin the data, exacted reprisals against whistleblowers and fought legislation and class-action lawsuits tooth and nail. Big-time lawyers get their reputations through their prowess at winning unwinnable cases. Propaganda, sales. advocacy all depend on saying the truth just enough to gain your confidence, the whole truth never, and nothing but the truth as long as it serves them. Sweet talk, confirmation bias, cognitive dissonance. You believe the nice man. You believe what you want to believe. It hurts to admit that you're wrong, and the more wrong you are, the more it hurts. And down the rabbit hole you go. Getting sucked into buying a vacuum cleaner that doesn't work is one thing. Getting sucked into an authoritarian political party is something else, though the techniques are the same. A few months after this video was posted, the RNC nominated Don the Con, who sucked the GOP and nearly half the population into his fictional universe and come close to staging a coup. There were Germans willing to die for their Fuehrer even after he offed himself. Trumpist true-believers still think the election was stolen, even after Fox News, McConnell, Pompeo and Bill Barr bailed; even after looney-tunes Sidney Powell was kicked off the team; even after Newsmax and Lou Dobbs issued abject retractions (still waiting on OANN). Caveat emptor. Something the Trumpists will never learn.
So true, I used to have a hard time saying "no" when my self-confidence/self-esteem was low. But now I can say no with no problem. I think when you're more solid inside, you can balance your self-interest with altruism a lot better.
Now im finally learning. I wished i listened to this video 3 years ago when i had money and i was conned by close friend con family business. I involved people i knew relatives family now im broke. My wife hates me and im back working in a job i use to hate.
People who get conned are doing one of two things, one is they’re being trusting and the other is they’re being too concerned with how they look to the other person. The former is honorable. The latter one is not.
This is just basic sales/art of persuasion versus 'con artist'. And, yes, learning how this communication style works and how to say, 'no' is invaluable.
Never make a decision based on fear. Better that you go through a hard time and master it, rather than be blessed financially for a little while but LOSE EVERYTHING later....permanently.
I agree, Con Artist will act like they "know" you, and will use the traits you're familiar with to open up for conversations, and then will force you into some Idea's and activities you're not comfortable with, they also will use you as pawns for their personal gain's if you stay connected for too long.
She's describing sales techniques but not con artists. Their game is to use your own greed against you by promising a big reward for little or nothing put in. But yes, they pressure you into making a decision faster for fear of losing out. They don't want you to have time to think about if things are on the level or not. Anytime somebody tries to push me into agreeing too fast I say NO.
i must say - this is a very good video, lots of what she talks about is quite obvious once pointed out, and these techniques are quite devious because often the victim doesnt notice until too late! i havent heard the term "exploding offer" that she mentions (about 6 minutes into the clip) however i definitely remember my very first sales job taught me "fear of loss" which is basically the same thing - take my offer and buy now because this wont be available for much longer! classic sales trick. there's one thing i didnt see mentioned, and that's what salespeople call the "leading question" or "power of yes" - example: "you like this part of the product, yes?" then "you know this price is limited and will not be available much longer, yeah?" followed by "you said this is a product you normally purchase, yes? (so, the customer has said yes 3 times in a row now) and then "so would you like to take advantage of our great price and get one now, yes?" .... anyway, i'm looking for assistance to help a vulnerable adult who has been "befriended" by people who've asked him for quite a lot of money, any videos on here anyone can suggest??
It's quite interesting how many of the concepts she raises here are found in Robert Caldini's book called "Influence." I started reading it to help me with marketing and sales. Quite a good read... I definitely recommend.
No worry no stress my friend, when they show up, just walk away. I run into such a dreck and dreg just the other day that rolled up, and continued in stride to walk away. Why waste your time with a cesspool person. They know what a turd they are.
The "Foot in the door" Is literally what I was told to do when I sold magazines door to door. Sometimes people would get mad and slam the door on your foot.
I used to be a teacher of a meditation which is very beneficial. Once people felt the benefits I could have convinced (sold) them of anything. Just because one thing is true....doesn't mean the rest is.
"upgrade" why use that word with windows 10. it is an abomination , my upgrade path from win 7 will be Linux (most likely Ubuntu) . Windows 10 is the last straw in the MS desperate desire to dominate the desktop. I encourage others to do the same. Linux is free , capable and has many flavours to choose from.
BlackEpyon erm i am not 12 and don't play a loads of games. Oddly enough there are a load of people out there who do not use their PC to play games. If the games are web based then they just work as usual and many other games work in "wine" too . If you have never used Linux and enjoyed an ultra stable, secure platform that doesn't require all the hassles of windows then you are the one missing out :) If you aspire to Windows 10 then you are a lost soul..
amojak Are you referring to a Linux distro that includes a GUI pre-installed or straight BASH? Props if you've worked on servers running the latter, and if not, then you're not nerdy enough :P I didn't mind Ubuntu before the Unity GUI (which I don't care for), so long as you don't run software or games that don't run on a Debian kernel. Been a while since I tinkered with Linux... However, I've built enough desktops and servers (Active Directory and related services) from scratch to be able to get Windows to do EXACTLY what I want it to do. Even in Win 10, which works just nicely, TVM.
I have escaped many con artists by simply believing in 3 main things- one, a spiritual Guru of RS Dayalbagh, once said " Do not eat from the money which has not been earned by sweat" so I don't buy lottery tickets or fall for get rich schemes. In fact something which says " Do you want to get lot of money?" immediately turns me off. I delete those emails without even reading them. Two, If the product is not clearly specified, I don't want that job. That is most likely something which is based on the philosophy" Just like we caught you, you catch others". Three, if any job requires use of your personal account then it is dicy. Two other points I have recently learned. Four, I have recently used google to search for every job offer plus write scam at the end. Internet is a very useful tool as many scams are already listed there. Five, I have discovered that on dating sites many profiles have some age written on the heading details while in the body of the profile or the pic, that is not reflective. Such profiles are fake. Also people in the military based in Afghanistan etc and those who are travelling always are fake profiles. I have written all these observations for others to benefit.
Basically if it's "too good to be true" be very careful. For example the uber advertises you can get rich by driving an uber taxi but in reality you'd have to work 24x7 all year to earn anywhere near that amount. 7.Con artist use a lot of words to explain something even if it's not that complicated. And they often repeat stuff. They never like to admit they do not know or that they will ask/look it up and tell you later. Also they do not like you asking questions. This is really true if they are trying to sell something. 8. You have to learn to say "no" to people.
i learn to say no most of the time explaining to them my reason and my friends become less. i come to realization that if they're meant for you they will stay if not just accept it and move on.
This needs to be taught in schools imagine how many people would be saved of losing all their money from a scam if red flags were taught at schools it'll also be funny with the scammers reactions when they can't scam anyone anymore.
Did anyone else get the impression of a magician showing you how the obvious trick was done while keeping the secrets of the really good illusions? "Contributing Writer, The New Yorker" My sophistry senses were tingling throughout. What an awful cynic I am.
As Angela had rightly said to me, "form trust slowly, give it time at least a month's.. for the con to spill some"- unless the con is a seasoned con. lol! Thank you, Maria.
Glad you're on the side of light instead of dark. Thanks for the tips. I would have fallen for most of these cons but now I understand the tricks. Many thanks!
One (important) thing I’ve learned about one personal experience while dealing with one is to refuse to give out personal information by just using one magical word: ‘No’
Advantage I have, is I have already been homeless once and am no longer afraid of being homeless and starting from scratch and making an honest comeback. Also....TALK TO OTHERS and get their advice.
As an employer, I know that giving an "exploding offer" is usually because of a necessity and not a con. If you need someone to work, then usually their is an urgency to fill the position. Without time limits people just don't make decisions, and the position is left unfilled. With a time limit, a potential candidate can say no and allow the employer to make other offers. Also, it's pretty dumb to "con" someone to working for you, because if they are not a good fit, then we train someone only for them to leave in a few months. I guess I just think it is a bad example. An infomercial offer of buy now and get..... is a better example.
If you catch them red handed, try to record it and document it. Then confront them with other people. This can save everyone even discouraging the wrong doer from ever doing it again.🙁 Often cons are very well liked, so this may not work, you may have to press charges or let it go.
I read an interview with a young man, very handsome, who was used by criminals to lure young women into unsafe places in order to abduct them for human trafficking... I think of myself as a young woman and shudder, because most of us are fools at that age.
Interesting talk. I've gone out and done program reviews in schools. That stretched me somewhat but I was told that my reports raised their interest because I laid it out for all to see. And what field and position am I in, I.T. manager.
Giving someone 48 hours to consider a job offer is not necessarily a "con" technique. If you need to fill a position, two days is plenty of time for the successful candidate to consider whether or not they really want it.
That was a poor example, but putting pressure on someone to do something or that offer, whatever it is, will be withdrawn after a very short period of time, ("Hurry! This offer is only open for the next half hour", "There are other people interested in this property", "If you don't act NOW you will miss out", etc.) is a con.
Totally experience that 'not wanting to feel like a bad person' all the time. Strap yourselves in for a pretty bland story lol. 2 days ago I went to a friend's small country city to visit and she and her friend showed me around for the day. My friend got sick pretty early and had to go home so I was hanging out with her friend who I barely knew. She showed me around for like 3-4 hours and we had a chat etc. Then she came with me on the bus all the way back to the area where my hotel is because she was worried I wouldn't know the way, despite actually passing by her own house on the way. When we got off the bus to part ways, I told her I was actually going to a cafe first to use wifi to check for plane tickets. So I ended up backtracking a little bit rather than going to my hotel. I think this maybe offended her since she had made the effort to help me get there and yet I just wandered off anyway. Also possibly she thought it was rude that I didn't invite her to the cafe to hang out a little longer (it's in China so maybe the culture is a little different). As soon as I told her I was heading to the cafe she very abruptly said "OK, Bye". This kind of shocked me because that would be the last time I'd see her for possibly the rest of my life. It felt terrible since I assumed that I had done something to make her feel that way. Unfortunately I didn't say anything at the time, but I couldn't stop worrying about it for the rest of my time in the town. I started messaging her after to say how fun it was and was really trying to curry favour with her. All I wanted was for her to give me a sign that I hadn't actually offended her and she was still on good terms with me. Even writing this now makes me want to message her again to get into her good books. If she was a conman then she'd be in the perfect position to try and get something out of me. THANKS FOR LISTENING GUYS
Yes, this addresses deception and lies in the sales industry. If you work in sales, be sure to work for a company that is built on long term relationships with clients, not short, shallow sales.
Based on the title of this video, I thought there would be a section on the actual, internal psychology of con artists--how they get to be that way, whether they feel guilty, how much they enjoy what they do, etc.
I am a South African salesman for 11 years already. It sounds like you from the USA.... To be honest with you, and to be truthful YOU ARE SOOOO beautiful. My dad is based there and in the final stage of filing my citizenship. Will post here again when I land. I will sell you something. Sand from Arizona ?
No, sorry, but if you have another smaller, more realistic request, I would still say no cause you are a total stranger to me and I don't trust you, since you have not yet told me that you are from the same area as me and like the same things I do (and no one likes UA-cam :-) )
Dear Ms Konnikova: Please respond. I'm dying over here! How do I sell something that is in large part about not buying very much? Everything I write about my latest project seems like a con artist wrote it, or so I've been told. We millennials DO purchase things, and we are being influenced by some ads. Why is it so hard, then, to go to Amazon and look for "Jack and Dolores went into the forest, searching for donuts and holes; along came a trucker who promised to..."? Srsly, if there's one take away, it should be this: click on the whale, and the first 50 pages are free. How can you be tricked? Like the first 50 pages a reader finds to be enticing, then he or she buys my book, and the rest of it is poo? Really? Why would I, the author, do that to my readers? I want my readers to buy future works, too. Please, Ms Konnikova, if your heart has not gone completely black, if there's even the slimmest remnant of love left in your heart, go to Amazon and read some of "Jack and Dolores" for free, and if you feel a tingle, buy the darn thing. (Reason for edit: I forgot to mention that I'm T.P. "Pat" Jaques, the author, and I approve this comment.)
I wonder if there's a reverse effect. Suppose you say no to someone that intellectually, you know that you should say no to. Then you feel a little bit like a jerk, even though you're not. What if over time, you start to get so used to the feeling of being a jerk, that you stop noticing or trying to avoid the feeling, even when saying no IS the wrong thing. It's like: "Buy a car?" "No." "Buy a car?" "No." "Buy a car?" "No." "Save a child from drowning?" "No." Okay, to be fair, that's an extreme example, but my point is that taking a position that feels wrong but isn't might over time, desensitize you to taking a position that feels wrong because it is. Thoughts anyone?
This is absolutely a possibility. It's called a Slippery Slope. It starts when we start avoiding our humanness because a bad video tells us our humanity makes errors in judgment when people are nice, ask for our help, and set deadlines.
Your statement "What if over time, you start to get so used to the feeling of being a jerk, that you stop noticing or trying to avoid the feelinging " is critical to understanding how to avoid the scenario you described. We need to avoid acting mindlessly. While we all need respites at appropriate times, we can't afford the luxury of routinely disconnecting from active thinking and emotional awareness. We should examine the choices we make and not oversimplify things that are complex or overcomplicate things that are simple. Admittedly this is much easier said than done but none the less is still necessary.
One of the things I find myself repeatedly wondering is - how many of people regularly using these techniques are consciously using them with awareness of how and why they work? Are there people who internalize the usefulness of the strategies and repeat them without being aware they are being selfishly manipulative? Obviously more likely that a sales person or politician may be completing a play, like an athlete acting out a play from a white board. But what about “everyday people” who manipulate just to get by and obtain basic needs. Isn’t it a tragedy that some people have to resort to the tactics and possibly not even understand what they are doing? And isn’t our society basically condoning the behavior at this point? Ok several things I wonder about on this topic.
Haven’t you ever used one of these techniques on your parents? Like the door in face technique. You ask your mom if you can go away with your friends for the weekend, you feign sincerity and tell her that you’ll be responsible, and she says no. Then you’re like mooooooom. Stage 2, you ask to go to a movie at night and extend curfew by an hour, which is what you really wanted. We might not have a name for them but normal people use these techniques.
The "Door in the face" approach is usually straight away, not after a few weeks. The idea being that you've got to catch the mark while he's still feeling really guilty for turning you down. Any comments Maria?
1. thing i've thought my doughter. . . You have the right to say NO. . . if you don't want to do it if you feel unconfortable with it . . what so ever. . . to your friends. . to strangers. . . your teachers. . . future bosses. . . uniforms. . . and even your own parents!!!!!! No is more important to your live then yes !!!!!
Interesting video. Most of these things don't really seem like they should be classified as "cons" though. A con is tricking someone into paying for something they aren't actually ever going to get.
Do not sell yourself short, the world will not raise your price. The hardest word to learn in business is NO. Everyone acts in their own self-interest. There is no substitute for hard work. If you make a mess, clean it up. Keep your promises few, but keep your promises. No one will look after your interests better than you. Avoid arrogant people like the plague, they are assholes.
2:20 foot in door technique; this is what is important to remember next time some wikipedia philosopher wants to tell you a thought is not valid because of the popularly promoted misunderstanding of "slippery slope fallacy" (which actually only cooks down to "no man knows the future"); "oh yeah?" you ask "Then why does every sales course teach foot in door technique if slippery slopes aren't a thing?"
Thank you for teaching. My bank manager acts as if nice to me, calm, friendly but asks questions not his business, dissuades me from taking my money out and claimed not knowing whether there are national holidays soon (it's only in several weeks). CAn a bank man not know this? Was it to postpone it, make it harder? i get a feeling of deceitfulness about him, but nothing specific except that and the fact that he doesn't show any due compassion for my situation, which dissonates with the nice voice.. Maybe I am just naive, believing someone is being nice when they are calm and have a friendly voice. i think people in service , jobs, would not taka advantage of customers. I Still wonder why he was so"nice" and talked long with me about nothing special. I felt uneasy and afterwards wary and am sure he hid something.I am too stressed to learn before I get sleep.
From a more spiritual and non-too-mundane point of view, It is deeply sad that we, supposed evolved Humans, play so many tricks to succeed in their egoistic seft centered interests... it frequently reminds me the music Imagine: Imagine there is no countries...and no religion too... imagine all the people living for today..... and we are as ONE"
It takes a long time to make a friend: The one step at a time technique along with the rule of reciprocity. The thing about being scammed by a friend is that it doesn't hurt that much like when he borrows $1000 but can never pay it back. Another rule is to never lend money to friends you want to keep.
The tactic of asking for "just a minute of your time" or "let me ask you just a couple of questions" probably rarely works any more because the vast majority of the time the person asking that proceeds to immediately abuse your good faith by going on and on with some survey or sales pitch for an hour or until you just get mad and walk away. So incompetent people who don't understand how to apply the foot-in-the-door have ruined that.
First notice how much they spend or how many trips they take without a job,then see how large the friends base is buying them things or flipping the tab
When money is involved, always keep your guard up.
Absolutely!! I knew this freak was after me for money and after years of abuse omg BE CAREFUL LADIES THESE BOYS SUCK
100% and con artists will use an emotional plea such as “now that were engaged we should get a joint account” or “since were planning a future we should merge our finances”
The trick is to not feel guilty about the demands that others would make on you, particularly when there is a low probability that the demand will be reciprocated. Another is to not respond to pressure. If an offer is valid and fair today, it should also be valid and fair next week.
Correct, evolution of proper science!
Joke's on them. I don't like anybody, and am immediately suspicious of anyone similar to me in any way.
That can be either ominous or aware.
@Rahul Sharma No, I'm just an ass.
I met this guy at the supermarket the other day. He started bull shitting with me about my kid and his kid and some other common things. Then he told me about his awesome job and how he met a guy who took him under his wing. Long story short it was a pyramid scheme type sales job he was pitching me. That fucker wasted like 20 minutes of my life. Lesson learned. Don't talk to strangers.
ayy... saw you at school of life... I completely agree with your comment in response to the video on how we should look back on history to make us feel better... also would you be interested in buying a bottle of shampoo for 4.99?
Eddar Stark am I really commenting that much that you recognize me from another channel or do I have my comment history public somewhere? Also I use white rain shampoo. $1.29 a bottle.
Andrew Attard I actually saw you in the other channel Lol.
+Eddar Stark lol. Cool. I post some stupid ass comments. I'd hate to have a directory of nonsensical bullshit attached to my google account.
+bart hennin is that comment directed to me?
Step 1: Learn to say NO to people
Exactly. its not hard to spot bullshit just stop being a victim
NO
Or write a very tiny 'yes' on the ceiling and put a ladder under it, you might end up marrying John Lennon and single-handedly destroying the best rock band of all time.
Then learn a response to, "Why"?
+The Narcissist's Scapegoat What?
A friend had to work interstate for a few weeks. They had a pet rabbit & asked if I would look after it. I didn't want to & even though my friend was persistent I said no.
A few days before they were due to leave they asked if I would like to use their car while they were gone. I don't NEED a car & if I WANTED a car I would go out & buy one... I really didn't want to have their car - it was just another complication in my life I didn't need. But whatever, I don't need the car, but sure, if it makes you happy I'll look after your car for you while you're gone... Really, I thought I was doing them a favour... Next thing they say is, "Well, seeing as you'll have my car while I'm gone, you can look after my rabbit!"
What a sucker I was - I should have seen that trap a mile off!!!
But the story doesn't end there... So I'm at a friends house & I say that I've got to go & look after this rabbit, so I start to say goodbye. My other friend says, "Well, I'm not doing anything. Is it okay if I come with you?"
So we jump in the car & drive to where the rabbit is. On the drive there my other friend looks at the windscreen & says, "Hey, did you notice that this car isn't registered???"
WOW!!! No, the car was NOT registered. It had been registered (in their parents home state) but they'd been driving the car around for 6 years or so where we lived. I quizzed the rabbit owner when they got back & they swore to my face that they'd paid the registration...
I guess the Motor Vehicle Department finally caught up with them, because eventually the car was towed & impounded.
I'm not friends with the Rabbit owner any more & my life is uncomplicated again! :)
So the first trap was that they hoped you'd look after the rabbit, drive the car and wreck it?
then after a couple times,
they'd ask you to watch over the car and check out the rabbit in hopes you'd drive the car? was it a nice car? or were they just tryna get a couple hundred bucks from ya?
I got conned once out of a thousand dollars by a friend. After the fact, I realized I was being groomed all along. Still makes me sick to think about it, but I did--at least--analyze it and figured out what were the vulnerabilities that I had that he used against me. Basically, I was lonely and needed a friend at the time. I consoled myself with the idea that it was my kindness that was exploited--the money was supposed to pay his rent--and that I learned some lessons. But it still hurts: not the money, the being a fool.
@@yvonnejensen1969 Really sorry to hear it. Predators without conscience😫
@@yvonnejensen1969 One last bit. The last time I saw that guy, he scolded me for not being angry. I was, but I wasn't going to show it. I guess that's part of the kick for them. Sadism
@@nicholasschroeder3678 so sorry for your experience. And kudos to you for being vulnerable on this format. ✌
@@nicholasschroeder3678 lol i am glad to hear that you didn't give them what they wanted. they only did that to emotionally dis-regulate you. be happy to know that at that moment that monster was terrified and insecure- that's why they wanted that emotional reaction. these people are walking husks constantly trying to fill that empty with ANYTHING. they walk in terror every moment, no matter how much they smile. even the money was more about this than the actual rent. i have compassion but only in the way that i see them for exactly what they are. they will always hurt you because that's how they handle pain and uncertainty and being human is always being in a little pain and uncertainty. these people have very low resilience levels for pain and are constantly trying to relieve it rather than build resilience. childhood abuse and a narcissistic only worsens the situations. do not be hard on yourself. anyone can be foolish and anyone can be fooled. the only true way to be a fool is to ignore these two facts.
that's what con-artists count on - that our ego will override our common sense and that we will blame ourselves for being fooled and keep quiet.
I know someone conned by a friend by a thousand dollars too, the friend made this big act up that his mother was gonna die and he couldn’t pay treatment. Turns out that he never moved in with his mother he was just pure scum and really really good at acting too
a 'real' con artist will get you to offer them what they want
This is so true! How often do dead beat relatives come around with a sob story about being broke? Too often? Yeah... I thought so. It really is ok to say no! Don't let the trolls drag you down!
No family should have eachother's back
@@GMarieBehindTheMask I think this person meant the kinds of idiot relatives who think it's completely fine to just keep asking for money and using it on something useless rather than trying to improve their lives with it. Those types of relatives would lose my respect very quickly and would never gain it back unless they manage to improve their life themselves.
omg plz help me.
I guy I was seeing was a con artist and had me completely fooled. He knew I had just gotten over a one-sided relationship and was down and he told me his ex died in a car accident so we became friends over that, then started to date... long story short turns out he made the entire story up to gain my sympathy and made up his ex dying to explain where he was in life claiming he lost their house & his job due to her death when he was just a loser who lacked any ambition. This guy wanted a future with me and I almost screwed up my life! It’s so scary .
I sold computers for about 9 years. I had to sell service plans. What I found myself doing was establishing a rapport by doing a magnificent job. I made sure I gave them all the information they needed. I also built trust by letting them know when they might be wasting money. To be honest, I didn't want them maxing out without having enough to buy the plan. I would mention the plan early, but only in passing, as a way to plant the seed. I would introduce things in order, as a structured sales process, in a very non pushy way. I came across like I was just running them through the standard sales process to make sure they know all there is available to them. This usually kept their defenses down. I NEVER appeared to want to sell the plan too bad. Even when negotiating a price, a came across as though I was only helping them. I'm not a dishonest or bad person, but when my job depended on selling plans, I did use a few minor manipulation tools, but I wouldn't lie to them.
The fundamental nature of the confidence game is "Information Asymmetry". It's neither paranoid nor cynical to recognize that someone is trying to distract you from recognizing that they have information that you don't, and are attempting to exploit that to get something from you. It's still your choice to acquiesce or not, based upon whatever other factors are involved; but knowing the rules of the game that's being played is nothing to apologize for. Anyone who would try and shame you for that only does so in bitterness over their perceived lost advantage. Fuck those people.
Many people like that in Cheyenne Wyoming and numerous police forces snd Intel across the country, they are not your friend.
Devon?
@@natewsmith6941 nope. Sorry.
These are just basic sales techniques... charm the customer, sell yourself, close the deal. Difference between a salesman and a con artist is if they deliver on their promise. The problem isn't the sales techniques, its what happens after the deals done.
Whiskey Bent THIS!^
s Happen hullo
Marketing is a con Mans paradise
If you need to employ these techniques, chances are you're selling the punter short. Good/useful products sell themselves.
@@allenmontrasio8962 At bottom, all persuasion techniques are propaganda. Look up the 737Max on the Boeing website: do they admit that the crashes happened because they took shortcuts to get the product out fast? Of course not. Is a salesman ever going to admit that, actually, their product isn't perfect and a competitor's might in some ways be better? No. Is a smart-phone salesman going to go out of his way to tell you that lithium batteries can catch fire or even explode? Uh-uh. The tobacco companies knew that smoking causes cancer. Did they admit it? No way. They hired tame scientists to spin the data, exacted reprisals against whistleblowers and fought legislation and class-action lawsuits tooth and nail. Big-time lawyers get their reputations through their prowess at winning unwinnable cases. Propaganda, sales. advocacy all depend on saying the truth just enough to gain your confidence, the whole truth never, and nothing but the truth as long as it serves them.
Sweet talk, confirmation bias, cognitive dissonance. You believe the nice man. You believe what you want to believe. It hurts to admit that you're wrong, and the more wrong you are, the more it hurts. And down the rabbit hole you go.
Getting sucked into buying a vacuum cleaner that doesn't work is one thing. Getting sucked into an authoritarian political party is something else, though the techniques are the same.
A few months after this video was posted, the RNC nominated Don the Con, who sucked the GOP and nearly half the population into his fictional universe and come close to staging a coup. There were Germans willing to die for their Fuehrer even after he offed himself. Trumpist true-believers still think the election was stolen, even after Fox News, McConnell, Pompeo and Bill Barr bailed; even after looney-tunes Sidney Powell was kicked off the team; even after Newsmax and Lou Dobbs issued abject retractions (still waiting on OANN).
Caveat emptor. Something the Trumpists will never learn.
You’re helping so many people spreading this information. Awesome job 👍🏼
This "life" thing is getting really complex. Remember when I thought I only had to calm down and think twice
This applies not just to sales people/con artists but manipulators too! Sounds like an interesting book. I'll have to pick it up
Yep, well, con artists and sales people *are* manipulators.
Maria's understanding of the tricks used by con artists is remarkable.
So true, I used to have a hard time saying "no" when my self-confidence/self-esteem was low. But now I can say no with no problem. I think when you're more solid inside, you can balance your self-interest with altruism a lot better.
Now im finally learning. I wished i listened to this video 3 years ago when i had money and i was conned by close friend con family business. I involved people i knew relatives family now im broke. My wife hates me and im back working in a job i use to hate.
It's telling how sales people and con artists are mentioned in the same breath.
It is? What is it telling you?
People who get conned are doing one of two things, one is they’re being trusting and the other is they’re being too concerned with how they look to the other person. The former is honorable. The latter one is not.
This is just basic sales/art of persuasion versus 'con artist'. And, yes, learning how this communication style works and how to say, 'no' is invaluable.
Never make a decision based on fear. Better that you go through a hard time and master it, rather than be blessed financially for a little while but LOSE EVERYTHING later....permanently.
Covert narcissist are the most cunning of all con artists ....
I agree, Con Artist will act like they "know" you, and will use the traits you're familiar with to open up for conversations, and then will force you into some Idea's and activities you're not comfortable with, they also will use you as pawns for their personal gain's if you stay connected for too long.
She's describing sales techniques but not con artists. Their game is to use your own greed against you by promising a big reward for little or nothing put in. But yes, they pressure you into making a decision faster for fear of losing out. They don't want you to have time to think about if things are on the level or not. Anytime somebody tries to push me into agreeing too fast I say NO.
There are different types of con artists. There are a lot of people that work on the principles she talks about. And there are the ones who use greed.
i must say - this is a very good video, lots of what she talks about is quite obvious once pointed out, and these techniques are quite devious because often the victim doesnt notice until too late! i havent heard the term "exploding offer" that she mentions (about 6 minutes into the clip) however i definitely remember my very first sales job taught me "fear of loss" which is basically the same thing - take my offer and buy now because this wont be available for much longer! classic sales trick. there's one thing i didnt see mentioned, and that's what salespeople call the "leading question" or "power of yes" - example: "you like this part of the product, yes?" then "you know this price is limited and will not be available much longer, yeah?" followed by "you said this is a product you normally purchase, yes? (so, the customer has said yes 3 times in a row now) and then "so would you like to take advantage of our great price and get one now, yes?" .... anyway, i'm looking for assistance to help a vulnerable adult who has been "befriended" by people who've asked him for quite a lot of money, any videos on here anyone can suggest??
"There's no way to spot a liar. Now here's how to spot a liar."
I think part of the problem ties in to delusion. If you believe what you say, are you still a liar? It's easier to spot a con.
It's quite interesting how many of the concepts she raises here are found in Robert Caldini's book called "Influence." I started reading it to help me with marketing and sales. Quite a good read... I definitely recommend.
Always listen to the questions they ask you…. Or if they’re interested in what you have etc.
How to avoid con artists? Study narcissism.
Be an absolute freak and fucking react so unpredictable that a con artist will not burn his/her hands on you.
this.
And the church says Amen.
Will you please go on and explain it.
Perfect answer.
Just read about sociopaths and you'll know all the techniques of con men, governments, and organized criminals.
And females.
@@RottenDoctorGonzo someone got turned down
@@RottenDoctorGonzo Men too!!!
No worry no stress my friend, when they show up, just walk away.
I run into such a dreck and dreg just the other day that rolled up, and continued in stride to walk away.
Why waste your time with a cesspool person.
They know what a turd they are.
It’s mostly females
step one to identifying a con artist: they're asking you for something
the hard part is running away fast enough so they can't catch you.
The "Foot in the door" Is literally what I was told to do when I sold magazines door to door. Sometimes people would get mad and slam the door on your foot.
Thumbs up for this video. This information should be taught as school curricula. People really need to know how to avoid con artists.
I used to be a teacher of a meditation which is very beneficial. Once people felt the benefits I could have convinced (sold) them of anything.
Just because one thing is true....doesn't mean the rest is.
Microsoft is pressuring me with this Windows 10 bullshit :(
And you missed the year-long free upgrade. Shame for you.
"upgrade" why use that word with windows 10. it is an abomination , my upgrade path from win 7 will be Linux (most likely Ubuntu) . Windows 10 is the last straw in the MS desperate desire to dominate the desktop. I encourage others to do the same. Linux is free , capable and has many flavours to choose from.
amojak
Good luck getting all your games to run. What were you using for that again? Some emulator running WINDOWS!?
BlackEpyon erm i am not 12 and don't play a loads of games. Oddly enough there are a load of people out there who do not use their PC to play games. If the games are web based then they just work as usual and many other games work in "wine" too .
If you have never used Linux and enjoyed an ultra stable, secure platform that doesn't require all the hassles of windows then you are the one missing out :)
If you aspire to Windows 10 then you are a lost soul..
amojak
Are you referring to a Linux distro that includes a GUI pre-installed or straight BASH? Props if you've worked on servers running the latter, and if not, then you're not nerdy enough :P
I didn't mind Ubuntu before the Unity GUI (which I don't care for), so long as you don't run software or games that don't run on a Debian kernel. Been a while since I tinkered with Linux...
However, I've built enough desktops and servers (Active Directory and related services) from scratch to be able to get Windows to do EXACTLY what I want it to do. Even in Win 10, which works just nicely, TVM.
I have an aunt who does this to me all the time. I had to learn to say no, but I still feel guilty...
Everyone has an aunt who does it! I can relate to you.
On-line dating scams some of the most common now. They prey on your particular vulnerabilities, and use your own information you provide against you!
Offsetting the balance of our instinctive values is effective. When we are provoked we tend to balance ourselves instinctively.
I have escaped many con artists by simply believing in 3 main things- one, a spiritual Guru of RS Dayalbagh, once said " Do not eat from the money which has not been earned by sweat" so I don't buy lottery tickets or fall for get rich schemes. In fact something which says " Do you want to get lot of money?" immediately turns me off. I delete those emails without even reading them. Two, If the product is not clearly specified, I don't want that job. That is most likely something which is based on the philosophy" Just like we caught you, you catch others". Three, if any job requires use of your personal account then it is dicy. Two other points I have recently learned. Four, I have recently used google to search for every job offer plus write scam at the end. Internet is a very useful tool as many scams are already listed there. Five, I have discovered that on dating sites many profiles have some age written on the heading details while in the body of the profile or the pic, that is not reflective. Such profiles are fake. Also people in the military based in Afghanistan etc and those who are travelling always are fake profiles. I have written all these observations for others to benefit.
Basically if it's "too good to be true" be very careful. For example the uber advertises you can get rich by driving an uber taxi but in reality you'd have to work 24x7 all year to earn anywhere near that amount.
7.Con artist use a lot of words to explain something even if it's not that complicated. And they often repeat stuff. They never like to admit they do not know or that they will ask/look it up and tell you later. Also they do not like you asking questions. This is really true if they are trying to sell something.
8. You have to learn to say "no" to people.
💭💭💭
i learn to say no most of the time explaining to them my reason and my friends become less.
i come to realization that if they're meant for you they will stay if not just accept it and move on.
I have been tricked into moving in with a "friend" who only wanted my money. now I can't AFFORD to move and she knows it.....
This needs to be taught in schools imagine how many people would be saved of losing all their money from a scam if red flags were taught at schools it'll also be funny with the scammers reactions when they can't scam anyone anymore.
Did anyone else get the impression of a magician showing you how the obvious trick was done while keeping the secrets of the really good illusions? "Contributing Writer, The New Yorker" My sophistry senses were tingling throughout. What an awful cynic I am.
no, not really
Ganjiblob Flankis LOL
As Angela had rightly said to me, "form trust slowly, give it time at least a month's.. for the con to spill some"- unless the con is a seasoned con. lol! Thank you, Maria.
There are tons of ways to tell if someone is lying to you, it's mostly in the body language.
Her interview with Bill Maher about "the narcissist in chief" was so memorable I still watch it sometimes.
Glad you're on the side of light instead of dark. Thanks for the tips. I would have fallen for most of these cons but now I understand the tricks. Many thanks!
One (important) thing I’ve learned about one personal experience while dealing with one is to refuse to give out personal information by just using one magical word: ‘No’
Advantage I have, is I have already been homeless once and am no longer afraid of being homeless and starting from scratch and making an honest comeback. Also....TALK TO OTHERS and get their advice.
As an employer, I know that giving an "exploding offer" is usually because of a necessity and not a con. If you need someone to work, then usually their is an urgency to fill the position. Without time limits people just don't make decisions, and the position is left unfilled. With a time limit, a potential candidate can say no and allow the employer to make other offers. Also, it's pretty dumb to "con" someone to working for you, because if they are not a good fit, then we train someone only for them to leave in a few months. I guess I just think it is a bad example. An infomercial offer of buy now and get..... is a better example.
Thank you for your time.
If you catch them red handed, try to record it and document it. Then confront them with other people. This can save everyone even discouraging the wrong doer from ever doing it again.🙁 Often cons are very well liked, so this may not work, you may have to press charges or let it go.
okay am I the only one who was relaxed by the sound of her voice as she's explaining this..............
I read an interview with a young man, very handsome, who was used by criminals to lure young women into unsafe places in order to abduct them for human trafficking... I think of myself as a young woman and shudder, because most of us are fools at that age.
Interesting talk. I've gone out and done program reviews in schools. That stretched me somewhat but I was told that my reports raised their interest because I laid it out for all to see.
And what field and position am I in, I.T. manager.
Giving someone 48 hours to consider a job offer is not necessarily a "con" technique. If you need to fill a position, two days is plenty of time for the successful candidate to consider whether or not they really want it.
I agree. But asking someone to enter into an agreement or buy something is a con.
That was a poor example, but putting pressure on someone to do something or that offer, whatever it is, will be withdrawn after a very short period of time, ("Hurry! This offer is only open for the next half hour", "There are other people interested in this property", "If you don't act NOW you will miss out", etc.) is a con.
Totally experience that 'not wanting to feel like a bad person' all the time.
Strap yourselves in for a pretty bland story lol. 2 days ago I went to a friend's small country city to visit and she and her friend showed me around for the day. My friend got sick pretty early and had to go home so I was hanging out with her friend who I barely knew. She showed me around for like 3-4 hours and we had a chat etc. Then she came with me on the bus all the way back to the area where my hotel is because she was worried I wouldn't know the way, despite actually passing by her own house on the way.
When we got off the bus to part ways, I told her I was actually going to a cafe first to use wifi to check for plane tickets. So I ended up backtracking a little bit rather than going to my hotel. I think this maybe offended her since she had made the effort to help me get there and yet I just wandered off anyway. Also possibly she thought it was rude that I didn't invite her to the cafe to hang out a little longer (it's in China so maybe the culture is a little different). As soon as I told her I was heading to the cafe she very abruptly said "OK, Bye". This kind of shocked me because that would be the last time I'd see her for possibly the rest of my life. It felt terrible since I assumed that I had done something to make her feel that way. Unfortunately I didn't say anything at the time, but I couldn't stop worrying about it for the rest of my time in the town. I started messaging her after to say how fun it was and was really trying to curry favour with her. All I wanted was for her to give me a sign that I hadn't actually offended her and she was still on good terms with me. Even writing this now makes me want to message her again to get into her good books. If she was a conman then she'd be in the perfect position to try and get something out of me.
THANKS FOR LISTENING GUYS
Yes, this addresses deception and lies in the sales industry. If you work in sales, be sure to work for a company that is built on long term relationships with clients, not short, shallow sales.
Based on the title of this video, I thought there would be a section on the actual, internal psychology of con artists--how they get to be that way, whether they feel guilty, how much they enjoy what they do, etc.
What an eye opener!
Nice video. I had to speed it up to enjoy it.
I am a South African salesman for 11 years already. It sounds like you from the USA.... To be honest with you, and to be truthful YOU ARE SOOOO beautiful. My dad is based there and in the final stage of filing my citizenship. Will post here again when I land. I will sell you something. Sand from Arizona ?
Do you guys like UA-cam? Me too. Gimme your password.
sure, it is "mikevance sucks and swallows "
No, sorry, but if you have another smaller, more realistic request, I would still say no cause you are a total stranger to me and I don't trust you, since you have not yet told me that you are from the same area as me and like the same things I do (and no one likes UA-cam :-) )
Suddenly people with autism seem like really nice people - at least compared to some others...
stewierulz12?
Iloveelvi$1951
Dear Ms Konnikova:
Please respond. I'm dying over here! How do I sell something that is in large part about not buying very much? Everything I write about my latest project seems like a con artist wrote it, or so I've been told. We millennials DO purchase things, and we are being influenced by some ads. Why is it so hard, then, to go to Amazon and look for "Jack and Dolores went into the forest, searching for donuts and holes; along came a trucker who promised to..."?
Srsly, if there's one take away, it should be this: click on the whale, and the first 50 pages are free. How can you be tricked? Like the first 50 pages a reader finds to be enticing, then he or she buys my book, and the rest of it is poo? Really? Why would I, the author, do that to my readers? I want my readers to buy future works, too.
Please, Ms Konnikova, if your heart has not gone completely black, if there's even the slimmest remnant of love left in your heart, go to Amazon and read some of "Jack and Dolores" for free, and if you feel a tingle, buy the darn thing. (Reason for edit: I forgot to mention that I'm T.P. "Pat" Jaques, the author, and I approve this comment.)
I like this. Interesting. (And I also like Maria Konnikova, too ! She has a lovely engaging way about her).
I wonder if there's a reverse effect. Suppose you say no to someone that intellectually, you know that you should say no to. Then you feel a little bit like a jerk, even though you're not. What if over time, you start to get so used to the feeling of being a jerk, that you stop noticing or trying to avoid the feeling, even when saying no IS the wrong thing. It's like: "Buy a car?" "No." "Buy a car?" "No." "Buy a car?" "No." "Save a child from drowning?" "No." Okay, to be fair, that's an extreme example, but my point is that taking a position that feels wrong but isn't might over time, desensitize you to taking a position that feels wrong because it is. Thoughts anyone?
This is absolutely a possibility. It's called a Slippery Slope. It starts when we start avoiding our humanness because a bad video tells us our humanity makes errors in judgment when people are nice, ask for our help, and set deadlines.
Your statement "What if over time, you start to get so used to the feeling of being a jerk, that you stop noticing or trying to avoid the feelinging " is critical to understanding how to avoid the scenario you described. We need to avoid acting mindlessly. While we all need respites at appropriate times, we can't afford the luxury of routinely disconnecting from active thinking and emotional awareness. We should examine the choices we make and not oversimplify things that are complex or overcomplicate things that are simple. Admittedly this is much easier said than done but none the less is still necessary.
Psychology of priests, you say? I'm in.
sounds like sales psychology of yoga teachers
If it's too good to be true, it's too good to be true.
Yes indeed :(
One of the things I find myself repeatedly wondering is - how many of people regularly using these techniques are consciously using them with awareness of how and why they work? Are there people who internalize the usefulness of the strategies and repeat them without being aware they are being selfishly manipulative?
Obviously more likely that a sales person or politician may be completing a play, like an athlete acting out a play from a white board. But what about “everyday people” who manipulate just to get by and obtain basic needs. Isn’t it a tragedy that some people have to resort to the tactics and possibly not even understand what they are doing?
And isn’t our society basically condoning the behavior at this point?
Ok several things I wonder about on this topic.
Haven’t you ever used one of these techniques on your parents? Like the door in face technique. You ask your mom if you can go away with your friends for the weekend, you feign sincerity and tell her that you’ll be responsible, and she says no. Then you’re like mooooooom. Stage 2, you ask to go to a movie at night and extend curfew by an hour, which is what you really wanted.
We might not have a name for them but normal people use these techniques.
The "Door in the face" approach is usually straight away, not after a few weeks. The idea being that you've got to catch the mark while he's still feeling really guilty for turning you down. Any comments Maria?
1. thing i've thought my doughter. . .
You have the right to say NO. . .
if you don't want to do it
if you feel unconfortable with it . .
what so ever. . .
to your friends. .
to strangers. . .
your teachers. . .
future bosses. . .
uniforms. . .
and even your own parents!!!!!!
No is more important to your live then yes !!!!!
Interesting video. Most of these things don't really seem like they should be classified as "cons" though. A con is tricking someone into paying for something they aren't actually ever going to get.
Does this have anything to do with reciprocal altruism and competitive altruism?
Do not sell yourself short, the world will not raise your price. The hardest word to learn in business is NO. Everyone acts in their own self-interest. There is no substitute for hard work. If you make a mess, clean it up. Keep your promises few, but keep your promises. No one will look after your interests better than you. Avoid arrogant people like the plague, they are assholes.
very useful information.thanks.
2:20 foot in door technique; this is what is important to remember next time some wikipedia philosopher wants to tell you a thought is not valid because of the popularly promoted misunderstanding of "slippery slope fallacy" (which actually only cooks down to "no man knows the future"); "oh yeah?" you ask "Then why does every sales course teach foot in door technique if slippery slopes aren't a thing?"
Here in my garage I am offended about the implications of this video. But you know know what I value the most? KNAAAAAAAAWLEDGE!
Damn her voice is so relaxing, this video is like an asmr video, i wish it was longer i feel relaxed now.
I've met my fair share of dishonorable people. Now?? I trust very few...and even at that...there is room for error!!!
This isn't deception it's called sales and we do it to some degree in every relationship we have
Forget about politicians and saleswo/men: most con-artists operate within their own family circle.
Thank you for teaching. My bank manager acts as if nice to me, calm, friendly but asks questions not his business, dissuades me from taking my money out and claimed not knowing whether there are national holidays soon (it's only in several weeks). CAn a bank man not know this? Was it to postpone it, make it harder? i get a feeling of deceitfulness about him, but nothing specific except that and the fact that he doesn't show any due compassion for my situation, which dissonates with the nice voice.. Maybe I am just naive, believing someone is being nice when they are calm and have a friendly voice. i think people in service , jobs, would not taka advantage of customers. I Still wonder why he was so"nice" and talked long with me about nothing special. I felt uneasy and afterwards wary and am sure he hid something.I am too stressed to learn before I get sleep.
From a more spiritual and non-too-mundane point of view, It is deeply sad that we, supposed evolved Humans, play so many tricks to succeed in their egoistic seft centered interests... it frequently reminds me the music Imagine: Imagine there is no countries...and no religion too... imagine all the people living for today..... and we are as ONE"
This is why a principles-centred life is important
Well I've seen the things mentioned and she puts them in perspective very nicely. Not enough like button pushes!
Amazingly helpful, but also very potentially dangerous information.
No is the most powerful word in any language.
It takes a long time to make a friend: The one step at a time technique along with the rule of reciprocity. The thing about being scammed by a friend is that it doesn't hurt that much like when he borrows $1000 but can never pay it back. Another rule is to never lend money to friends you want to keep.
Not lots of money.
I appreciate your elocution, it's very clear, by the way do you like the red socks?
Very good video. BTW She has a very nice voice. Thumbs up
@Big Think Who is splashing the screen with links at the end of the video? Is it the uploader, or is it UA-cam? Just curious.
The tactic of asking for "just a minute of your time" or "let me ask you just a couple of questions" probably rarely works any more because the vast majority of the time the person asking that proceeds to immediately abuse your good faith by going on and on with some survey or sales pitch for an hour or until you just get mad and walk away. So incompetent people who don't understand how to apply the foot-in-the-door have ruined that.
Don't listen to what people say. Watch what they do.
First notice how much they spend or how many trips they take without a job,then see how large the friends base is buying them things or flipping the tab
Thank you!
WOW! I have had managers who have done ALL of those things to me.
"I know who you are" u got a man
good job, you gain a new subscriber😃😃😃