Player has TOTAL MELTDOWN in Public | Reading D&D Reddit Stories
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What is the craziest emotional outburst you have experience while playing a TTRPG?
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Timestamps
0:00 Intro
1:01 Sponsor
3:08 DMing Policies Broke up a Couple
11:55 Opening a Chest
14:33 Accused of Bait & Switiching
25:35 The "F' it" Bucket
27:35 Outro
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Would you do a monster mash one shot or a larp campaign
The second story is literally just the meme of:
"Hey can I join?"
"Sure!"
"I don't like the rules, can we change them?"
"What? No."
"WHY ARE YOU EXCLUDING ME?!"
This lady: "How dare you be so misogynistic 🤬!!"
The other two women chillin at the other side of the table: 😐😐
@@henryhere
I thought of the lady yelling at the cat meme with that apt description
@@thatonewitch Those ones always kill me 😂
“Players will overcomplicate like, a door!”
Friendly reminder that there are *several* Vox Machina vs Doors videos.
The ugly crying bit is her trying to guilt trip her way into getting what she wants. It's a tactic I used as a kid (before my dad got custody of me), my mom constantly uses it and it's just something toxic people do.
Replace toxic with women/children
what that is literally toxic to say that, that is not only discrimination agains age, but also discrimination against women
@@forrest6939 ok? Doesn’t make it less true
@forrest6939 1. How is it "discrimination" 2. I never made a generalization of women or children. I pointed out that I did it as a kid (as I was an entitled brat till my dad got custody of me) and that my very toxic mother constantly uses this tactic when something isn't going her way. Also you do realize that anyone can guilt trip, ugly crying is just one form of it. Like I could point out how my brother likes to scream "imma be hit by a drunk driver" any time he has to walk home from work (he is the oldest among my sister and I, mind you and an adult.)Also how is me pointing out something that only toxic people do equate to me being toxic? Just the fact you trying to say pointing out a toxic trait is toxic and putting words in my mouth, kind of screams you are a person who uses said trait.
@@kingwildcat6192000 I think they were replying to the other person and forgot to @ them I could be wrong
I ran an short escape room, some characters rolled poorly on investigation and were off track with false details, others were sorting out the correct info to find a key. The simple barbarian rolled a 20, then while the others were focused on numbers and codes, he disappeared. Eventually they found the key, with a tag that says "sometimes doors aren't locked". They came out and the barb was all, "doorknobs aren't that hard brothers".
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I wanna see OSQ do that as a skit. I love his Barbarian voice.
In story 2, sounds like the girl enjoyed causing drama and spin it so she is the victim. She caused a fuss, then stood around ugly crying discrimination "oh look at me, poor me!" And why just whine discrimination in that small group when you can do it to a bigger group and be the victim everywhere?
To be fair, she was discriminated against. This is blatant Wizard Favoritism! Paladins are being discriminated against because of their class!
(This is a joke.)
@@Zulk_RSwell wizard masterrace, gang gang. Squad up!!!
@littletoe8408 Could you imagine a group of wizards saying this. Unless they try to present themselves as fantasy gangsters, all I can hear is a bunch of old men trying to sound 'hip with the kids' and failing.
@@Zulk_RSit's actually sad society has come to the point where you have to clarify an actual joke as a joke.
Though, i never clarify. I just put a 😂 or 😅 or 🤣 behind the joke and if anyone doesn't get it it's their problem. Though, should they be offended and respond in an angry manner to an obvious joke, i won't hesitate to make fun of them and mercilessly mock them to the very brink of them either ragequitting, having a mental breakdown or surrendering. (I don't insult them, i just meme every single word and mock them where i can. Insults only as a response to insults, and then as funny as possible.)
Can't let that chance go away.
And if they don't like the joke and try to ruin it for everyone else just because they feel offended... then i'll teach them not to do that by making them the joke
Finally. All the years watching our politics paid off. I now know even the darkest and saddest parts of comedy. And this circus called our government is still keeping the supply of jokes up😂
The best jokes i've ever heard are our politicians.
But i'm not here to debate politics. I just wanted to give a completely unnecessary response out of boredom😂
If that broke them up, they weren't gonna last anyway.
My only problem with the piece of paper "puzzle" is that a TTRPG is not a 3D virtual reality sim. The only way I could see it happening is either 1) the player says "I specifically look at one side of the paper and not the other" or 2) the player saying "I read the paper" and the DM being all "gotcha!" And only describing one side for no reason.
When I used to host an in-person Ghostbusters game, I would sometimes make real papers to give my players. In that specific circumstance, the story makes perfect sense. Otherwise, I agree with you.
Yeah, exactly. That DM had too much of a "gotcha" mentality. That's only fun for one person, the DM.
Same, I think it's safe to assume that when a player says 'I read the paper' or 'I look at the paper' that includes both sides. You could even ask 'Do you turn the paper around?' if you wanna be fancy but - in general - just like every person goes on the toilet and we don't rp that out every person will check an important paper front and back when they pick it up.
For the Red Wizard story, if you’re in a similar position, my advice would be to emphasize that while D&D is a collaborative storytelling game, the DM is in charge of creating the roots of the story, and the story they want to tell sometimes requires certain elements of characters to be present. It would be the same thing as if your campaign was about going to a magic school and someone rolled up with a barbarian, or a character who actively hates magic users.
I am now somehow imagining a barbarian showing up to a magic school going "I want to be a magical girl"
@@ToothpickSamurai flavor the Rage mechanic as magical girl transformations?
@@MorningDusk7734 magic attacks are big ol bonks with one of them magical girl wands.
@ToothpickSamurai you make that a half-orc with red pigtails that are held on by what looks like spikes, you for yourself a deal
I'm just imagining them being the janitor or something that got dragged into things to protect their job. They don't care about magic, they've got bills to pay.
That Red Wizard game sounded amazing in concept and it's my kind of D&D game - very roleplay and lore heavy, with major choices to be made down the line. My main issue though doesn't just lie with the player, but with the club's own rules; yes you should prevent actual bigotry and discrimination, but you should also have requirements for the members to treat one another with respect and measures to oust people who abuse the space and the people within it. Kicking someone out for bad behaviour isn't the same as gender discrimination as she claimed - particularly not when she clearly had a reputation for causing problems in the first place, and especially when there are multiple witnesses to what she did. The ugly crying over being confronted on her unwillingness to follow with the guidelines of a campaign that *she already was told the theme of and by staying, already agreed to* was a blatant abuse and manipulation tactic.
If I was running that, I would just pack up my things, leave the room, and report her to the relevant people with my other players as witnesses. If nothing was done about her presence or behaviour, I would look for a group elsewhere as a willingness to let this sort of thing slide is just an indication that there are going to be bigger problems down the line. If you don't stand up to people like this, you're giving them permission to do worse and worse things in the future.
In short, discrimination is bad but may our countermeasures not be worse.
Oh my god, the honest players complicating simple things got to me so bad, lmao.
A "pothole" (yeah, like in the road) being tge absolute epitome of an arch-nemesis to my party has been a running joke since about 2 years ago, when we started our campaign.
I had created a scenario where a large pothole formed in a road, due to recent heavy rains, to slow the party down (one is a merchant with a large, expensive carriage that converts into a small shoppe) so that some trolls would be able to close the distance on them from a nearby swampy area.
They dispatched the trolls in about 10 minutes, then spent, no shit, an HOUR AND A HALF trying to complete the mammoth task of getting past the pothole... Eventually, one of them asked me how the hell were they going to bring the cart, i guess worried i was trying to get them to leave it or something...
My response? "Ummmm fill in the pothole or go around it, maybe?" They all stare at me, dumbfounded for like a full minute until they all burst out laughing, and now i threaten to put potholes everywhere. I even put one in a dungeon for giggles.
I can't tell if this is an example of why you *should* always ask clarifying questions because it's smarter, or if it's an example of why you *shouldn't* because it's funnier.
@themindfulmoron3790 lol, I don't know.
What made it funnier is that they had just cleared out an abandoned mining village of goblins and wanted to essentially lay claim to it. So, they had hired a bunch of townsfolk and bought a bunch of tools, carts, and such to spend an in-game 2 weeks restoring the old road from a trail into a proper road... right before leaving for this to happen. So, the concept of landscaping wasn't some new thing (all new players) AND they had all the tools an experience to repair the road.
How did they get stuck on the pot hole for an hour and a half!?
@duncanharrell5009 they were trying to figure out a way to either go around (cliff on one side, marsh on the other) by building a bridge or some nonsense. Lol
There was enough room to slowly creep through the underbrush on one side, which made it even more ridiculous.
This reminds me of the Dread Gazebo.
Maybe I'll actually try to create a monster called Gazebo...
I love the inclusion of the fun, silly stories between the examples of how things go horribly wrong. Great decision to add them into the episode format!
I completely agree. Love them both, thia channel is a godsend
our party once had trouble opening a door, we almost resorted to blowing it up before realising it was a pull not a push door lol
Let us all remember that there is a difference between discrimination and discretion.
I like to use Grimtooth's Traps occasionally.
I used some of the silly door traps in one of my sessions.
One of the doors said "draw your weapon". If the player pulled out a weapon, they would get zapped by lightning. The fighter finally figured out they had to draw their weapon on a piece of paper & show the door for it to open.
The other one was the knock knock door. While investigating the door, one player knocked on it, the door answered "who's there?". If the person gave their name or any other boring answer, the door would spit acid at them. It took the players a while to figure out they had to tell the door a knock knock joke to get it open.
I wish my DM would do puzzles more often but the other players wouldnt like them/ understand. Not saying that to demean or be rude either, only of them is 12 and the other is his dad who had a TBI and only has 70% function. He able to live life to its fullest just has to take this slow sometimes. I love my group and would kill for them
Regarding the second story, the way I look at it is that you have to draw a line between a person's attributes and their behavior. It is certainly wrong to discriminate against a person's attributes, but it is certainly okay to stand your ground against bad behavior. There is nothing wrong with calling out bad behavior and asking people to be better about it. However, it's pretty clear that this woman is used to getting what she wants by being a spoiled brat. As tough as it may be, these kinds of people need to be shown the door, making it clear that they won't get their way just by whining loud enough.
Bait and switch, can we just talk about how fun that campaign sounds? i have no advice beyond what was already said but that's a neat concept and I hope you get it sorted out.
I can understand WHY the DM from the first story reacted the way they did, BUT typically when someone refers to SA they mean "s*xual as*ault" not any crass language told with undertones of s*xual context. If I say "F me" i suppose you can take that in an explicit manner, but usually it's a euphemism that means nothing of the sort. So I say the DM overreacted to a players expression of rage/discontentment and the further actions of the player to defend himself, by saying that's not what he meant (poorly), ended up with a nuclear fallout
Yeah...this creepy language policing is something you shouldn't do with another adult. These folks are basically the left version of evangelicals with their desire to control other people 'for our own good'.
I just want to say that I appreciate that you guys:
don't get angry or judge anyone in any of the stories, It's made me look at these stories and the people in them differently.
Secondly I really appreciate that after each 'bad/AITA' Story you have a 'good/aftercare' story to follow it up, It makes sure that The mood isn't permanently brought down by any one story.
Both of these things make these videos unique, Thought-provoking, And easier to watch than many other 'unfortunate event stories' videos out there.
The first funny story reminds me of this time that I wasn't able to attend a session, we decided that my rogue was practicing his lockpicking skills in a hall of locked doors while everyone was going about their business(we were getting prepped for a bank heist,) and the joke we came up with was that he got through every door perfectly fine, but got stuck on the last door because he never realized it was never locked in the first place. I decided that the experience traumatized him and he curled up into a ball when the next place we went to had no doors for him to unlock at all because he was now hyper fixated on unlocking doors xD
Vox Machina nods in agreement.
saying a difficult encounter is as' rap'ng you has nothing to do with SA it is a phrase used far and wide to express difficulty
DM is a great example of a Twitter weirdo that have infected DnD.
I actually know a girl a bit like the girl from the second story. She doesn't have those kinds of break downs in public but will have them around close friends, family, and her significant other. The best we can all tell from having talked about it is her parents would just let her tantrum herself out when she was young if there was no way to solve what made her upset or give her what she wanted to make her stop. And she just never had a reason to stop doing it so she still does it as an adult because she just simply feels that is how she can get all her feelings out.
I hadn't seen the video yet and retract what I said.
@@nikacomedawnwhat did you say? Lmao
that is what an education deprived of violence gets to. That is so easily cured by the now villanous "think carefully about what you whine for, because there could be five fingers to the face as a price"
@@MrJerichoPumpkin that is an awful thing to say.
@@MrJerichoPumpkinyou're a bad person
I tend to kick myself out of DMing before I kick anyone out honestly.... It's a cowardly solution but I'm not there to get bravery points anyway
yeah, especially when the group is made up of people you're already friends with.
@@spiritedscrubs2838this right here. I stopped DMing instead of getting mad that my players wernt taking time, by them selves and out of session, to work on tbeir characters and learn their abilities and how/when to use them. I was all for helping before or after but noone ever said anything until it was 10min to start or when we started. After the fifth session of this and the paladin not healing people one of them died and caught an attitude with ME!! Not the FUCKING HEALER?!?!?! I stood up and said, "I am truely sorry amd I love everyone of you but doing this is causing me unneeded stress so I will no longer be DMing." I lent my books to a player and when they realised that I was doing ab the same amount of work as all 5 players together and then having to pretty much play their chars for them, he gave up before even trying. Do not blame him
Edit: If it seem like I gave up on them to yoi then you are probably right but, the whole 5 (4.5 hour long with 1.5 of those being combat) sessions was me telling them their modifiers and if I didnt they would just look at me waiting. The girl that died would have been dead session 2 if I didnt just flat out tell the paladin to walk over there and heal her right now or shed be out of the game till next time. She was on her last death save, dont think they fully understood this wasnt skyrim and there were gonna be actual consequences
If someone said there was a rule of no SA at the table, I'd assume they meant as any part of the story/roleplay, not that it'd extend to out-of-game talk as well. Also easy to get defensive if someone snaps at you like that.
Yeah i guess i have been raised around that language, so it doesnt bother me even though i have delt with untoward things happening to me in my life. Now having to describe sa in visceral detail i would prob leave and not come back, but someone saying something as an outburst and getting booted is a bit beyond the pale.
Edit: Especially if you have never had a problem with the person who made the outburst.
13:31 I am reminded about Vax's multiple fails at picking that one lock.
The ultimate Vox Machina nemeses: Doors.
I'm guessing the girl in the first story was probably extremely triggered by the word, and overreacted bc of being triggered. Yes she should have handled it better, but probably was caught off guard, maybe she even imagined that something like that would never happen bc of her clear and strict rules. I hope she learned from that experience ❤
It can be quite shocking when you think you're in a safe space. It is a very sensitive topic, and all too often people make off-handed comments about it. In addition to it being SA, I wonder if what the player said was similar to what happened to her.
@@Cipher655
strong, uncomfortable emotional reaction to a stimulus that wouldn't ordinarily cause that response.
I hope this helps you understand
@@Cipher655 for example, let's say you got robbed in the street by someone coming up behind you. That was a very scary and intense experience. Months later, you're meeting up with a friend and they approach you from behind, grabbing you're shoulder in a similar fashion that the robber did all those months ago. That grab is a trigger for you, you're reliving the emotions you had during the robbery, you get extremely scared again. You might even try to punch or kick them, scream at them or flinch, because you're certain you're getting robbed again. Now, someone who hasn't had that experience wouldn't react in that manner, because they don't associate the shoulder grab with being robbed.
I hope this example helped you to understand it a bit better. It basically means that something brings you back to the awful experience you had, and maybe even makes you relive (some of) it.
That girl needs therapy... and more than she's ever had before. Though I'm pretty sure it would have come to a point where anything would have set her off. 'Wow, look at that bandit, they totally didn't have a chance and was forced into chains.'
I hope she gets help that she needs, but ya she is the AH for that. I think the guy likely had issues with his so before, sooo.... that sucks to suck, but I wouldn't blame him if he cut her out of his life for that kind of reaction.
@@kodabear1996 Dude... It was a metaphor... Not RPing SA...
No SA happened that’s just a common turn of phrase. The setup I thought they were going to try something against npc, but it’s just something they said when things were going south. People try their best, but no one is perfect.
I was in a campaign that had a similar moment to that chest opening one. We had to open a secret passageway and there was a giant boulder in the way. I was like: we should use mage hand, tie a rope to the top, and pull. I don't know if I wasn't heard or what, but we then spent the next FORTY FIVE MINUTES trying to get this bolder to move (which included tossing our dwarf wizard at it). Such a highlight, to be honest.
According to the follow-up for the first story, it was the alcoholism that caused the breakup (problem player was drinking during the game)
I really think that “I know it’s a joke, it’s still not allowed” is a perfectly acceptable thing to say in that situation
I feel like that should have been clarified in the rules before hand. Players might of just thought those experiences were not in the game or allowed at all.
@@Allmightyimortal it’s an easy edge case to miss. DM may have thought that was clear while player thought it was only about the actual act (although that still seems off to me)
@TheZMage yes to first part, not really to second. It's a common enough phrase during times of high stress and definitely been in enough movies, books, youtube, etc. Dm just really handled it poorly. I get it and get why the player was so defensive as well but she definitely escalated the situation here. Again, I get it but this was always going to eventually happen playing a high stress game.
@@Allmightyimortal it’s really not so common or ubiquitous to the point that the DM should have expected it and/or the player should have thought it was okay. I get that you say things without thinking some times but it really doesn’t take more than half a second of thought to realize that an offhand reference to sexual assault as a metaphor was a bad thing to say and worthy of censure
@TheZMage you don't put half a second of thought into off-hand comments during a fight. Doesn't work that way. We all have sworn at something during high stress, none of us put thought into it. Also while that one might not be there are plenty more that exist even f me could be in that vain. Either way after him saying it's just a joke she should of said I understand please don't say it again and moved on. Maybe talked to him after. Either way I do agree she handled the situation poorly
OSQ is the only channel I actually pay attention to because I love the comedic sketch style
The red wizard story sounds really cool!! Would love to see how that played out.
To be fair though, the "a piece of paper has 2 sides" issue honestly feels extremely nitpicky to me. Most people assume that "I look at the paper" to mean "I examine the paper in the ways that a normal person would examine a piece of paper." IMO unless your character has a very good reason to not actually look at all parts of the paper (like extremely low mental stats, or backstory related reasons), players should be given at least a common sense level of autonomy...
Cryer story: Honestly, at that point I wouldn't just try to CYA, but I would actually go one step further and talk to the club that made OP allow her to join.
Bringing back a bit of the first story, what if the next DM is a man who has been abused by women? Such an accusatory and manipulative rant like that could push them over the edge.
I enjoy seeing how both of you interact with each other, that was lovely!
A problem player choosing to play an Aasimar Paladin is about as meme worthy as an edgelord Rogue Assassin. 🙄
First story: like y’all said, could have been handled a lot better but the break up isn’t the dms fault.
Second story: If the girl had a problem with playing a wizard or with the campaign idea, she should have talked with OP. Cause if she wanted to play a paliden, she could have asked OP something like “look I don’t really like playing wizards, if this won’t work I get it, but could I play a paliden who’s assigned to guard the wizard trainees?” Instead she just didn’t care what OP was doing or listening to what they said and just did her own thing. Then when things didn’t go her way she pulled out the ugly cry and went to the officials to try and get sympathy. It sounds like she was raised pretty sheltered and spoiled and I hope she gets the help she needs.
I mean, the campaign had an explicit setting and they were told in both the campaign description and session 0 what it was. If she wanted to play a Paladin, she should have joined a different campaign--because I guarentee you if she had asked first, and the DM said no--which he would have, then she would have still blown up; this time with no witnesses since it would have been a private conversation. Her doing that in public will at least save him from her ludicrous accusations.
Just don't join campaigns you KNOW you don't want to participate in. why the hell would you join a campaign where literally everyone is a wizard, if you don't want to play a damned wizard? It's common sense!
We didn't get a clarification on why they broke up in the first story. Was it because of the joke or because the guy argued with the DM? If it was because of the joke, his gf would've joined the DM's side, but DM didn't write anything about it.
It was also in a three year old game and I don't think DM reminds them about the rule of no SA every session. The guy might've just slipped.
All in all, I think DM should've handled it better, especially with a guy who she's been playing with for three years. I won't blame her for their break up, but I'm not excluding her from it either.
The girl in the second story seems to have main character syndrome, or something to that effect. I'm not sure if she really wanted to play DND or just find a way to make everything about her.
I always go with the idea that "No Discrimination" means everybody gets an equal chance when they walk in the door and you can't kick them out because of who they are. But it is not discrimination if they are not a good fit or if they break the rules. The rest is on them. If they can't handle the rules, that's on them
There's a difference between discrimination and vetting that often seems to be mistaken as the same thing.
Same purpose as a job interview.
i think for the first story where to conflict arose is that saying what he said was as an idiom, its not really bringing SA into the session, its like using the term "getting caught with your pants down" or "beat around the bush" or "break the ice" so i can see why the player was caught off guard as what they were actually saying was that they were doing very poorly in that fight, the best way for the DM to handle this was to say that there weren't comfortable with that idiom and ask them to refrain from using it going forward as they considered their no SA policy as covering that idiom.
For the no discrimination. The solution is stating that you will be documenting issues and conflicts and if there's constant issues or a severe issue, you're out. And the part where you took in what seemed like special needs, document why you reject them and why they aren't a good fit. If it isn't discrimination and the special needs person cries that it's discrimination and the organization or whatever takes that person's side, they are actually discriminating against you and the special needs person.
I am special needs. Coddling us in these situations is absolutely not good and it can teach special needs that they can get away with stuff and that causes far more issues.
It is absolutely not the DMs responsibility and no one should ever expect their DM to document *anything* other than the events of the game.
The entire team got TPK after taking 1d4 of damage
14:33
Yours are the only in video ads I don't skip past. They're so entertaining and funny
Please keep doing these! I love hearing the stories and your commentary on them is absolutely great 💙
There’s a time and place for jokes. SA is not a “joke”. It’s a serious issue so even using the r-word is wrong.
I would have kicked them off my table too. Luckily my players have never thought that was an appropriate thing to say.
Also, since the DM is the one who makes the rules, if she say NO, then it’s a no.
Considering the context, the DM handled it perfectly fine. I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who thinks comments like that are appropriate.
It sounds like the guy in the first story never actually tried to add any SA into the game. I would guess it was an “off the table” joke which I’m not defending. But I do want to point out it’s not like he tried to make his character or anyone else do anything sketchy.
I actually saw the second horror story and commented on it while it was pretty new, it's so crazy to realize how fast it escalates. I remember giving some advice about how to not get unfairly kicked from the game club, and all I could think was that this player is a known problem player, she should obviously be the one kicked from the club
Laws against being fired depend on the state. I live in a "Right to Work" state. Which means that the employer has the right to fire you for any reason at all. And proving discrimination in court is far more difficult than "proving" it in college where you don't need any proof, just the accusation in a lot of cases.
14:05 Legally you need to tell me if you are a mimic
For the "SA" situation: the dude didn't actually do any SA in character, or even hint at it. He never implied it was happening in the game. He stated a phrase, a very common phrase among young men to insinuate someone is "destroying" them or insinuating the people involved are getting dominated by a superior force. Like... This was definitely just the gm blowing this out of proportion
I came looking for this comment, my thoughts exactly
100 and 10 percent, I listened to the beginning and was expecting some sort of assault on an npc not just a saying.
On the first story I think the DM took a comment about the game to seriously. I know the DM said no SA in, or out of game. I don't see how that comment broke any rule. Now there's a conversation about making comments like that afterwards okay sure the player did something wrong at that point.
In most states in the US employment is at will so you actually can be fired for no reason. The reason employers get sued is when they fire as a means to retaliate or to avoid reasonable accommodation. For example if you are pregnant and the find out without you giving them written notice they might fire you for being 5 minutes late, because they can claim they didn't know you were pregnant. So always get it in writing and keep paper copies of your email so you have evidence if you need it later.
That lady who insisted to play a paladin in a wizard campaign and then had an emotional meltdown, it sounds like she had some type of actual emotional disorder. That reaction was not in any way coherent with what actually happened. She was told what the campaign was, wanted a different campaign, and is trying to manipulate the dm into doing the campaign she wanted. She started with emotional manipulation and continued on to make false accusations to get her way.
Yes! My favorite video of the week!
Oof! That second one! The problem player is definitely a narcissist. My last ex is a narcissist, and based on the OP, I recognize the behavior patterns. It screams narcissism
Duke, Your wife is awesome. Every time you two do this I think that again. She's awesome.
First story. If you're going in hot, expect a hot reply. The DM did really overreact, immediately threatening with a ban. It's no wonder the other person is pushed into defending themselves. It's very difficult to face such an aggressive accusation (even when guilty) and not jump into defensive stance.
But, as Amy said, if it's something triggering, like it could have been for this DM, it's also hard not to jump to 100 immediately as well. The key here is communication, or knowing yourself. If you set a rule, people will break it, often unintentionally. If you explain why you set this rule, and you don't even have to go in too deep, people will understand better. DM didn't have to tell her entire traumatic experience, but when setting the rule, a simple mention of that DM has experienced something like that is enough. Now when someone breaks the rule and you point it out, they will quickly realise their mistake AND the reason why you would respond this way. It makes it easier not to jump to defensive mode. If you don't want to give any explanation for the rule, that is your prerogative. But then you should also be mindful not to explode like this when that rule is broken.
Wow, that "give me plushies" in the end got real there for a second. Duke, are you okay? Are you safe? Blink thrice in quick succession, then twice slowly, then keep you eyes closed for a moment, then thrice more slowly, if you need help.
also the rule sounded to me like no SA in game and no mention of it in the game. which makes sense but he essentially said that a thing is Raping them as a word for seing they are getting beat up really badly. and then gm flipped out on the player extremly. like it was meant as just a statement that the enemy is hard and then you get threatend with a ban by a person you knew for a long time ? that is freaking overwhelming. So trying to clarify yourself in panic made absolute sense.
and while i don't think it was only the fault of the dm i think it did cause some tension that might have led to a break up given that he felt like he lost all his friends and hobby because of a lil remark
If your relationship ends because of a D&D argument, it wasn't a stable relationship to begin with.
NGL, I would jump into an Oops All Red Wizards campaign. I sometimes think about trying to convince folks that an Oops All Dragonborn campaign could be a fun ride.
That being said, the girl crying "misogyny" sounds like she just goes into the D&D club solely looking for drama...
So... I'm definitely going to steal the idea of the F*** it-bucket 😂 that is gold😂
With story number 2, IMO too many people today take being told no as discrimination.
we do all those things because of the one time we did none of those things and lost that character to said door
Discrimination, is only discrimination if your acting maliciously against something a person cannot change like disabilities, orientations, colour of skin, it is not discrimination to tell someone to F off if they have a reputation of doing things
ngl the red wizards campaign sounds hype asf id love to be forced into a full wizard party.
I need the conclusion of the Red Wizard story.
The discrimination story hit home. I wasn't working there at the time, but some other coworkers were. A current coworker had been fired for several reasons, but was rehired after threatening to report them for discrimination. Was it? Probably not, as this same coworker is still engaged in several of the behaviors they were fired for.
Yeah, society needs to looses what in the hell is considered discrimination. I see shit like this at work all the time. Certain people can get away with breaking rules, slacking off, etc.--all in the name of "discrimination." Meanwhile those of us actually doing our jobs are having to work twice as hard as some of these people, because they can't be fired without accusations being thrown around. it's maddening, and it's not fair to the majority of everyone else who is actually doing their job. Not to mention, that is also how you build resentment to whatever groups you are trying to prevent discrimination against. Everyone should be treated *fairly,* period, full stop. One group shouldn't get preferential treatment or special treatment, because they can cry discrimination every time they don't get their way. That's not the way this should work.
@@shawnwolf5961 I agree, and I am 100% in favor of protection for people of marginalized groups.
@@shawnwolf5961 It reminds me of something I saw at one point (can't remember where) that if you had two employees, one an alcoholic that barely does the work and is frequently drunk, and on that excels and does a lot for the business, but could suddenly only afford one, then you would fire the other over the alcoholic because alcoholism is considered a disability and the first guy can claim discrimination. It's all kinds of messed up really
@kodabear1996 oh don't get me wrong, I am too. I just feel it's also incredibly easy to abuse that system unfortunately
I saw the first story before and my general thought was that the DM basically attacked him rather than reprimanded him.
It wasn't really an attack but as a first time warning in such a long time group it was way too heavy handed that itd feel like a personal attack.
A 3 year group and having it all taken away cause of one snap slip during a tense section would have made anyone feel defensive and all that tension and feeling of being attacked would make things worse.
DM definitely handled it wrong, and likely attributed to the breakup but only in the way that newspaper helps a lit flame spread to dry wood to start a fire.
It certainly helped the fire spread but it likely would have set on fire anyways
Been to war. Joke about dark stuff all the time never have really snapped at anyone. Unless its like full on holocaust denial. People need to toughen up and get some thick skin.
@@derigel7662I know right? I do not see how a comment like that could warrant getting kicked out of a game.
@mattb4072 It's because we let sheltering become a form of coping and "healing" shying away from your trama or censoring that stuff from your life is not recovering. It's letting it control your life. Blame college campuses anymore. All they do is sponsor censorship and hide away from facing your problems
When I heard the "rules" she set up I though she meant there would not be any SA content in the roleplay, which I thought was kind of strange she had to specify it but we also heard the story of the ranger who had sex with his dog...
When she snapped because the guy just used a harsh word in a very common turn of phrase I could only say she is at fault. He literally said a word in the heat of the moment, she could have just told him "please don't use that language". She made a huge deal out of nothing and she knows it. I don't care for the guy leaving his girlfriend, but the DM is really not suited to be in that position if she's so sensitive about words.
Someone else said this in their own comment, but the DM most likely got triggered/reminded of their trauma from the word and reacted poorly in the moment. Esp when it's a long-time group where none of this has ever happened and they had no way of expecting that word to appear (+implication of it), I can see emotions getting high in the heat of the moment. She still handled it poorly (and I'll remind all of us that she herself admits this) and I hope she learns, but I think this should be taken into account when discussing this and not just say she's too sensitive or whatever.
I've had moments where a word or a description out of nowhere has reminded me of my SA trauma enough for me for it to trigger sudden heightened emotions, such as extreme anxiety and upset, so I can understand why the response in the moment was so harsh.
We all have different responses to things and different triggers, you don't know the extent of others' traumas and have no right to belittle what affects them. (This is to the other replies.)
It’s been falsely accepted in our culture that discrimination is only bad. However, in its proper definition and use its actually necessary for effective and efficient operation. It’s absolutely fine to separate the ‘wheat from the chaff’, to identify individuals who have been observed to be trouble players, and to politely decline them admittance. If they persist, maybe someone from the club can then have a conversation with them about the troublesome past experiences and come to some understanding and clarification on behaviors that are appropriate or inappropriate.
Really, I think the only bad discrimination is when it’s done based on prejudice and has no basis in reality. Racism and sexism is dumb, and I don’t think we need to throw the word discrimination out with those words. I think we need to take that word back and begin using it appropriately again.
Wow I’ve never been this early. Great video!
With the first story, I get that the rule was broken but I can fully see why the first player wouldn't think it's a rule violation to just offhandedly use the term as a general expression, not actually discussing the topic at all. Lashing out fully is not an appropriate reaction to that since he probably didn't even realise the implications of what he was saying however there is no problem in reaffirming the rules to clarify that all terms relating to it were also banned.
With that said, the DM was in no way responsible for the breakup.
I have to wonder if the girl in the second story is used to just getting her way as a result of tantrums. Most people I know, wouldn't just be staying in the middle of a public space.
Probably not, but some elements of the story make me question this being genuine. Too many things seem rehearsed in her process.
TBF, to the second point, the kinds of people that create this kind of drama tend to seem to be operating off of some sort of script and repeat that script to try and maintain themselves as "the center of attention."
It feels rehearsed because it is. Theres some patterns and catch phrases that work better then others and theyve had all their life to figure out which ones work better. Either they get their way or get sypathy attention. Win win
@@homerman76 Yup, exactly my point with it. Seems too rehearsed to be a genuine meltdown.
Story 2 dm is story god, if we want a mono character party we have story reasons.
Our job as players is to be creative with what's given ,heck dms can pre make characters and that's fine two.
Becouse in the end its just a game
Dnd campaigns can NOT be limited by not allowing those who cannot even agree to session zero to be kicked out. A club that doesn't allow you to discriminate by keeping out people who won't match the group dynamic is not where you want to make your dnd campaign.
Host the game outside the club.
3rd story with the girl throwing a tantrum about misogyny. The solution is that you say something to the effect of the following. As a group member you will not be discriminated against for your race, ethnicity, disability, sexual orientation,...., . These behaviors will get you instantly kicked out from the group...
I absolutely agree with the sentiment about getting that upset over a joke.
The problem players are like that kid in the classroom who when theyre absent, class runs smoother, less distractions, and the rest of class are very productive.
Nice work
RE The Bait and Switch - easy fix for future, ask to get a look at all character sheets before it starts - so they don't have the capacity to throw the tantrum and you have made all steps to communicate very clearly. Session Zero could also be better utilized in order to outline the boundaries, T&Cs around mutual respect for ALL people at the table, DM included, because that is what this is about, a mutual respect, not relating to discrimination at all.
Sounds like that individual has some rather serious issues outside of D&D, and is projecting quite hard into social spaces they go to.
I’m gonna come out and say as a victim of SA, the first DM is kinda the asshole here. Three years where the player is fine and not a problem, a gentle “hey man, that’s a hard boundary here please don’t mention that stuff” would have gone a million times better in most cases. Threatening to kick them right off the bat serves no purpose but to escalate. That’s the problem I have with it. After 3 years with no problems earns them the benefit of the doubt, that’s a pretty long time, you should give them the benefit of the doubt.
Mostly I agree with your take here. I’ve been writing this as listening to the rest of the segment, and it feels like you’re reading my mind ngl. In the end, you’re responsible for overcoming your own trauma. You can ask your friends and close acquaintances to be sensitive, but you shouldn’t expect the world to bend over backwards for you and always be a perfectly safe space, and the DM definitely went too far in their reaction, even if it’s understandable why.
Honestly, I was thinking the same about how the op responded, honestly I feel like the way she responded may have also riled up the player as he probably forgot the rule and was just making a statement about how terribly they were being beaten and the response was disproportionate, so the player got defensive.
Op for the first one did definitely over reacted, especially since the player doesnt even know she WAS raped so had no way that this was a sore spot for her. With how aggressive she was it kinda make sense why the other player was so hostile
"Discriminating" used to mine having precise taste, like a discriminating palate allows you to tell good food or wine from mediocre. Now the negative connotation has totally taken over and it means only "prejudging unfairly based on irrelevant criteria".
doors are my best friend and my worst enemy at the same time
I love these videos, give me more!😃
I’m a survivor of SA when I was a kid. That dungeon master needs to take responsibility for their own feelings if they are getting so triggered by a phrase. People now a days are so dang sensitive to words not intended to offend.
I'm sorry, you think rape isn't intended to be an offensive word?
Umm no they don’t. This is the DM’s rules and let them know ahead of time what’s allowed and what isn’t. If your going to be insensitive to others traumas and can’t adhere to the rules then don’t play.
@@justcheckingin2105 I went through it for two years as a child. My babysitters (Brother and sister) who were my adopted cousins and teens. One of them is no longer around when he threw himself into a river in winter. I blocked this out and couldn't even fall asleep next to someone until I was 25 years old. I was humiliated and didn't tell a soul until I was almost 26 and had to defend my sister (two years younger than me, also a victim) against my parents who claimed she was full of it.
I learned to heal, as did my sister. I am telling you as someone who has overcome my traumas that growth does not occur through fear and avoidance of topics. If everyone who is insensitive was a bad person then we would all be guilty. She admitted she has never had a problem with this person. Her explosion probably embarrassed the person and they got defensive, as would literally anyone when you say something not intended to offend and get exploded at. Overcoming trauma means, by its very nature that we do not let it rule us.
If you have a reaction as she did, you are not healing. You are controlled by your traumas. Freedom and peace only comes to those who take responsibility for their feelings. If you find that offensive, than you are attempting to invalidate my entire journey of growth and healing. But it is quite alright, because I take responsibility for my own feelings.
@@genericname2747 By who? The person who made the word or the player?
I have no doubt that its an offensive word, and most, including myself, would agree and refrain from using it. But offense requires another sentient being, so since the word has no intentions of its own I can only assume you believe the player was purposely intending to offend.
In which case I would have to ask you why you believe that. By the GM's own admission this player has never been a problem. I saw no conflict or reason the player would go out of their way to hurt the GM. The act of saying a word is not inherently intending offensive. If it were, then I imagine my avoidance of using it somehow makes my response less offensive than yours.
Afterall, if just the act of saying the word without consideration of the persons intent is all we need to be convinced that they intended offense, then the only thing separating your statement from that of the players is that I'm deciding not to be offended. Or does my comment absolve me of my right, as a survivor, to be offended by your use of it in front of me?
My feeling of safety doesn't come from not hearing words said with jokey voices, which may or may not be intentionally offensive. My safety comes from not being on the receiving end of someone who feels morally empowered to put me on blast for saying something that upset them. Because that is intentionally offensive. I literally don't know what other feeling to feel besides offense and not safe as they aggressively yell at me.
TL;DR
Unintentionally offended person lectures unintentionally offensive person about not being offended by unintentionally offensive people while also being unintentionally offensive. Now onto Sam with the weather.
@@the11thhour14 That's a lot of words to answer a simple question.
Shit, second story, I want to play in that campaign. I love playing wizards and I love the lore behind the red wizards. Someone find that DM's number. 🙁
Makes me want to post my goofy Pathfinder story. It spawned a poem and just fun shenanigans
Eff-it bucket sounds hilariously awesome 😆
~_~
So the DM projected her personal experiences into an otherwise cool player got triggered and kicked him. Awful DMing. Also no SA at least to me means no RP SA not just making an offhand comment.
Classic knee-jerk reaction instead of measured response from the Dm's side. Understandable when it's just a player who got triggered due to trauma but unacceptable for the "leader" of the session. Part of the job of the DM is keeping the peace after all.
3rd problem easily solved by looking at the CCTV with audio. They are on uni grounds they will be required to have CCTV setup
Had a One Shot where we get to the boss building and the barbarian immediately tries to smash the door open, dude rolled a nat 1 and his warhammer smacked him back in the face, the veteran at the table then goes and opens the door normally
That's not sexual assault...
this is really fuin to listen while working
Histrionic/Narssistic/Passive aggressive (#3)
That second story...
"Miss? Hi..." (shows friend) "...this is my lawyer. I am filing a lawsuit against you for the various drama you have been creating and for falsely accusing me of things I did not do. My witnesses will be all the other members of that club who are sick of your drama. You might want to get a lawyer yourself."
Protecting other players from problem behaviors isn't discrimination
One comment on your statement about the DM not viewing the player as a friend:
It was a hard set boundary that was obviously previously discussed. By your own logic the player never respected the DM as a friend either. The problem here was not the single mistake. The problem was the player doubling down and invaildating the feelings of others in regards to possible trauma. There is at no point a time where such jokes are okay unless you know the others are. It's like saying it's okay to throw around the n-word simply because a combat encounter gets out of hand.
I knew a guy like that when I was a TA. He cried uncontrollably every time he got a bad grade on an exam.
It was actually pretty funny one time because he didn’t realize that the exam grades were curved so he spent ten minutes crying in office hours before someone actually saw his exam and realized that he’d gotten an A.
It sounds less like being an attention hound, and more like the guy was super stressed about grades and has anxiety about it.
Kinda like apples and oranges
If he cried like that to the professors and tried to change his note or something that's one thing.
If he uncontrollably cried sort of alone then that's definitely a whole other issue he probably had
with the first one. the person was definitely not wanting SA action to be made. they were just saying the equivalent of " we are getting fucked up" . the fact that the dm didn't see that just showed how reactionary they are and thats a problem. always worst case scenario. never thinking.
What does SA mean?
Regarding the button and the door -- LOL.
Sometimes a door is just a door. They aren't all trapped.
Sometimes a chest is just a chest. They aren't all mimics.
Sometimes an NPC is just an NPC, and not the BBEG in disguise.
Wene I got embarrassed once I quote "sorry I didn't clap" the reason I said that is before that a teacher forced me to clap when I didn't even have the chance to participate
The guy in the first story didn't break any rules. The term was obviously not used in a literal sense, thus, it was not "SA". Also, the OP said he only knew someone who went through that, and he didn't experience it himself, so he was just getting upset on behalf of someone who wasn't even there.
Had something. We saw this massive item we had to take. People where making a plan and i just walk over and was able to pick it up.