Monthly Goal Setting Ideas - Low Pressure
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- Опубліковано 15 чер 2023
- Monthly goal setting ideas - low pressure;
I find goal setting hard because as soon as I try and make a commitment I feel overwhelmed. This is partly because I'm autistic and ADHD.
I'm learning how to set low pressure monthly goals to help guide me through each month and help me to achieve my bigger goals without even realising!
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I understand, when You're talking about almost "tricking" yourself into something.
Changing the terms you use is a really clever change, and such an easy small one to make. The word job does feel more demanding, target driven, pressurized, etc. There's a big weight in the word. Your replacement, feels more positive and light and enjoyable, so more welcoming 💙💙💙
I really struggle with demand avoidance and have a hard time hitting my goals when I set them. I'm liking the "Monthly Theme" or "Ideas" instead of goals and plans. It makes it feel less like an obligation and more like a guideline, and thus easier to handle. Thanks, Ella
Same here. I barely manage to keep up with the regular chores and can't ever seem to do anything towards my long term goals because of demand avoidance. I'll give monthly theme setting a go, sounds like a good idea
I'm glad to be able to help 😊
I like to think of 'long term, big goals' in my head more like a source of inspiration for getting on with day to day activities. In that sense, it lets me focus on each day rather than a big picture, which is good because it reduces anxiety :)
“A well paid hobby.” ❤❤❤
This sounds like something that could finally work for my neurodivergent demand avoidance brain! Thanks so much Ella, love the video :)
I couldn’t click on this video fast enough! Very needed-thank you!!
I have never set goals . As you mention for your self I have similar reasons and stuff going on . This was helpful . Thank you for sharing .
Another brilliant video! Gonna add this in to my flexible/mini routine planning~
Thanks for the video! You are a saint for sharing your vulnerability and knowledge online~
I have a kind of Master List of things that I know need doing. It's terribly long due to illness, procrastination, and demand avoidance. I recently hit on the idea of picking just five of those things and, where necessary, breaking them down into sub-things. Then each day, i take a look at what I feel up to perhaps thinking of doing, including routine tasks, and making a What I Could Do list for the day. If I'm doing really well, I might add a couple more little things to the list, but I might not. In which case I will have non-guilty chill time. I've been trying this approach for about six weeks, and so far it has worked better than anything ive tried before.
Love this… the demand thing is sooo true for me as Autistic ADHDer. I love your take on ditching the SMART goals and embrace what works for you. 👏🏻
Did you know Lego have an affiliate program? Thought it might be an easy value add to your well paid hobby x
I started using the sweepy app to track my chores because it doesn't shame you if you're not doing things. If I'm having a bad day, I just ignore it and the tasks get automatically pushed back until I have energy to pick some up. And because you set the number of spoons you have (energy type spoons, hope you know what I mean) for each day of the week, they don't just accumulate in the day after, which would make me feel overwhelmed before I even start. I also use it as my own brain, like you said 😂.
It does have the occasional bugs, doesn't assign things properly, but it made a massive difference for me. I should say I'm autistic and struggle with demand avoidance. But it didn't work quite so well for my adhd partner. Still think it's worth giving it a go
Also, you can add all members of your household to it and it handles assigning daily tasks to each member.
Oh my gosh. Thanks for sharing this, it means so much to hear someone talking about this. So helpful
A month is far to long period for me. I actually avoid setting goals, they always fails so better not set them.
I rather make a list of small tings to do whenever I’m able to, it feels good to tick them off when done. When I plan a lot, most of my energy goes into planning, hardly anything left for execution, only sadness not being able to execute.
I don't like setting goals bacause it seems like I rarely accomplish them. But I do it once and a while.
Have you ever made a video on speaking? Sometimes think I need speech or voice coaching. Your speaking is very clear, modulated and projected - did you train yourself or have training, or is it just a talent you were born with?
Thank you, I think it's a natural talent but that said I have worked on making sure there is variety in pitch and rhythm to keep it interesting for people to listen too
I like having "Aims" as if I'm aiming my life in this direction.
I also don't use goals or aims very much or at all, mostly because I have multiple chronic illnesses, including migraines that pop up without at schedule and suck a lot of energy, so they tend to massively get in the way of goals (and deadlines, unrelated, but totally messes with my life).
I think I need to use aims more. I can see a lot of benefits to this.
Yes my chronic illness and fatigue are also one of the reasons I can't have anything too concrete or I end up feeling I've failed when I just couldn't because of my health
I'm trying to set up my own business, but I've just experienced a (non-related) setback that's affected my motivation. This video might be useful and I should give it at least one more look - and take notes!
So helpful as always, thank you!
I love your makeup and how it goes with the colour of your top, so satisfying!
thank you 😊
I really relate to this but I really hate myself for how stupid and broken I feel with all these issues I have. I just want to live life but instead I live by these rules my head has made and when I don't comply my brain hurts and tingles so much I end up doing nothing for weeks. I waste so much time.
I feel sometimes so rubbish about how I am and I just want to change it all.
I cannot relate to this more, I feel validated that the system I've got going is helpful for other neurodivergent brains, as I do worry about stressing myself out too much vs not getting anything done (demand avoidance woohoo)
I am similar with my goals, I started setting a yearly and monthly goals during 2020 and it's really helped me feel like things are under control without feeling like too much pressure. I keep it loose and casual and make sure I include fun goals, and I use google keep as well! I also use it to keep track of my budget (which includes a nice amount for fun!) and to write notes about ... well just about everything lol!! i guess google keep is also my brain :)
I also keep an ideas list for my creative endeavours and and to dos for my studies - I keep those in notion and have it open during a study session just so i don't forget what I'm doing in the middle of what I'm doing . This happens so often! I even have an item for "fill up water bottle" I can just move over to the "doing" column because the amount of times I have gotten distracted whilst doing that and ended up dehydrated for hours is just... insane lol.
Anyway, that was a bit of a ramble, I love lifestyle content so I am really enjoying your videos! thank you so much Ella :)
7:50 "'comfortable' is personally defined." Yes! 💜 As soon as I i stopped making all my goals "measurable," I became less stressed and achieved more.
Totally get this feeling... Thought it was only me :P
Setting too big of a goal, and feeling chronic disappointment and feeling like I can't do anything.
I've started doing the same recently, just choosing 2-3 things to do each month, and if I don't get them done this month, I push them to the next (and put them as priority goals)> This has worked thus far!
Also, epic makeup today Ella. I like your top too :)
I was gonna ask if you'd seen the video by CGP Grey called "Your Theme" -- about choosing a theme for the year or season, instead of concrete, measurable New Year's resolutions.
And then you said pick a theme 😊
I really admire you for even trying to set goals. As a result of my teaching career goals targets etc are a big trigger to trauma so I avoid them totally. Fortunately I am now retired... Having said that I make a things I MIGHT do list every week. If I achieve something off the list I guess you could say that I have achieved a goal? I think its just about empowering yourself to experience success however big or small..
Great advice that could work for folks. I have ADHD and autism and sadly I've been there already and tried the things in this video and they do not work for me... but keep on trying different things folks! One of them could "fit" you and your experiences with your neurodivergencies and your life 💕. I have chronic fatigue and chronic pain too so setting goals have always gotta be fluid... As at any time I could not be able to do things due to my physical health (or my mental health). So setting a fun task that I don't manage to get to due to health just ends up making me really sad... so fun tasks that could be up ended due to health would be a no for me. But that's just me .. ❤ these things and trying things can help you figure out what works and what does not.
Thanks for acknowledging we are all different, I definitely think we need to try different things until something feels right
@@PurpleElla I used to beat myself up so much when I tried things others said helped them and it didn't me .. but now I realise, not everything works for every brain / body / life... And that it's all trial and error, and not just not trying ANYTHING because "what's the point" or "well the last 3 things didn't work so it's not worth it"... Totally been there... But to anyone reading. Try things! I urge you 💕 it's all learning...
Off topic: I am trying to rollerskate too 😂 It'a a beautiful disaster 😂
I'm 44 and never good at sports but I exercise a lot now (it's good for my health and for anxiety) so I hope it's safe for me to try rollerskates 😊
I love the description ' a beautiful disaster' thank you that really made me smile, good luck with the roller skating
💜
Ella I wonder if you could discuss this topic if you haven't already.
About people's scores on the Autism Quotient 50 score and the score off the RAADS 14 questionnaire.
I know people get paranoid if the score is lower than someone else's etc. That they could end up feeling not autistic enough.
I am not sure if these scores are well explained even today.
The test tells you what the cut off for autism is. And it just means autism is likely it doesn't mean for sure.
@@Catlily5 What is the points cut off point.
@@gordy3714 I don't know but if you Google it the test says the cut off point.
My mask has autism