Thrilling Adventures of Florida Man III - Spaghetti Sauce With a Vengeance
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
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Love content? Check out Simon's other UA-cam Channels:
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SideProjects: / @sideprojects
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TopTenz: / toptenznet
Today I Found Out: / todayifoundout
Highlight History: / @highlighthistory
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Should do a give away for at least 2 of them? With there permission ofcourse even if it's just in the UK
Careful if you order from the EU. It took 4 months to arrive and I had to pay 39€ in duty and taxes
TIME TRAVELLER!!!
I’ve been watching you for a long time now Simon and I’ve also been looking at the Lawn Mower 3.0 for a while too! So happy I can get a product I’m interested in and support you at the same time. Can confirm, I just purchased the Peak Performance package using the code BLAZE 😏
COCAINE!!!!
“Hey Danny,” Sam said one day, “What’s with that big red phone in the corner?”
“I don’t know,” Danny squinted at the line of text in the darkness for a long time before reporting, “ It says, ‘Press 1 for Human Resources’”
“We have an HR department...? HOW?!”
“I don’t know but Overlord Simon made an error. We can at least call for help!”
Danny struggled with his bound foot on the radiator for a bit before finally reaching the receiver and hitting the coveted number. In the darkness, Sam could barely make out the expression of Joy turn into the sour expression of Angry Disgust. And since there was barely any background noise Sam already knew what sound was coming out of the receiver before Danny held it up in his general direction:
“Never gonna give you up!
Never gonna let you down!
Never gonna turn around and desert you...”
Yass 🤣
I have never seen a Rick Roll in print before...that may actually be a first-time-ever achievement.
This needs to be pinned
Fantastic!
lmao
As someone who has ADHD, the thing where "adhd" floats in front of simon's face when he gets off topic too long, i find it hilarious and relate to that on a spiritual level. I feel like I should have one irl smh 🤣
Ha ! Me too! Perfect!
I ended up improvising..
All I needed was a mirror and a permanent marker 😂
Ha! I was ambivalent, cause on one hand the prevalence of using it the same way people say "I'm a little OCD" has negatively affected its seriousness, and that bugs me. But on the other hand, I want a sign like that to pop up every time I do exactly the same thing because ADHD. Quite funny. 🤷🍍
@@PushyPushyPhoenix I agree completely with that and that's a good point.
same, I just want a big ADHD logo on my shirt
I love how honest Simon is. With basically everything. Him openly admitting he likes money whenever he talks about merch, ads or sponsors for example, just expressing his opinions, admitting when he doesn't know something and his laziness and the creation process of his BB topics.
It's very refreshing to get that plain honesty from a UA-camr
Yes I agree, like it is difficult to produce things for people no matter what you make. But I hate when they pretend that it's an actual job equivalent to like a lawyer or a bricklayer.
Simon is very humble, it's the facades people try and put on to get attention that bugs me.
Just be real and tell us you're kinda shit at ur job n ur doing it for money. 🤷
I can respect that.
@@HFFCANADA Well said. I don't always agree with him, but (as far as I can tell) he's never pretentious and I can always except and respect stuff he says, no matter if my opinion differs.
Still my favourite creator on YT
@tenebrous soul That's pretty funny, actually
And he says stuff about his overpriced stickers. I have a couple, and I personally think they’re very well made stickers lol
I love his plug for his other channel at the end
Simon: Would rather go to prison then write something.
Danny: In basement prison and forced to write scripts.
My dude you just fried.
Checks out...
Ha! Nice.
I started watching this video during lunch on my buds when suddenly they died. The audio started playing automatically through my phone as my boss whas passing by and all he heard was Simon saying "you d!ck head". He turned around and said "nice.. a new business blaze video." Lol who knew the man had a sence of humor.
And now I know your UA-cam handle, Peter!
Whew, when I read the first sentence I thought you were watching *with* your buds, and they suddenly died. Although going out with a new Blaze video is how I want to go.
You my friend are a Legend
@@himmelblau2126 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Perfect
"Unarmed burglary... wouldn't that just be burglary?"
Oh Simon, you're talking about Florida. They've got to specify unarmed jaywalking (allegedly)
Danny's script: 'i'm not one to judge, but i suspect *_four of the three people_* involved in this story...'
Simon's brain: unfazed
🤣🤣🤣
If you’re a true business blaze fan, you come for all of the video. Including the intro.
And the ad read
Nay. If you are a TRUE BB fan, you come for the intro only. I am so much of a BB fan that for every single episode I press play, watch the intro, fast forward to the ad read, intently hang on every word Simon reads in regard to the sponsor, then I immediately turn off the video and buy whatever Fact boi is peddling just to support the channel.
Only ads I truly watch
Mostly because that's part of the wonky ass charm here.
@@Kwastaken then by definition you're not an OGBB, since to be one you need to watch to the end for your legendary status, and pick up all the in jokes including from in the ad reads. Don't be a poser.
Simon in the last video: "Well, the Florida Man video didn’t do as well as I thought it would"
Simon: "DANNY WRITE MORE OF THOSE!"
Danny needs to write a primary introduction on the first page, a secondary introduction on the 2nd page and so on to really confuse Simon!
YES! And the two introductions have to have barely anything in common except at the end where he ties them together (on page 3)
Nah just a 20 page blaze of consecutive interdictions interdicting the next one, with the last introducing the 1st
I hope danny gets the idea to write out an entire episode as one big introduction,
Or take all the introductions for business blaze and make a script with them.
Business Blaze and The Casual Criminalist are slowly becoming one. By the way the longer the intro the better. You could probably do a whole video of Danny's life story rants.
This would probably satisfy most people's desires for a biographics of Danny's life. I would love a BB that is all one lone intro all about Danny. :P
Loved the giant ADHD rolling over Simon as he waffled a bit. As a fellow ADHD I salute you!
Business Blazes newest motto: “I promise today’s sponsorship product hasn’t touched my genitals” ALLEGEDLY
"Danny, where do you eat?"
Your basement, Simon...your fucking basement...he is trying to express his dissatisfaction via comedy...
Business Blaze ad reads: Simon looks at everything for the first time in the box and tries to remember we're all still here watching him advertise the stuff
“Judges are impartial”
I remember when I believed that too
I was thinking the same thing. Poor sweet naive Simon...
I lost it watching how excited he got about the resealable box. The ads really are one of the best.
The hamster ball idea sounds like a good one, as long as you came the proper supplies. That would be one hell of a world record to cross the Atlantic Ocean in a inflatable hamster ball. It would be like the first flight across the Atlantic successfully. Personally I would love to try to cross from California to Hawaii in an inflatable hamster ball myself. Imagine all the cost-saving measures you would have taken, while setting a record in the process.
No adult human being should be calling spaghetti, "sketty".
At least he didnt say "Pasketti".
How dare you cut off the beautiful singing of He-Man
now we'll never know what's going on...
ua-cam.com/video/ZZ5LpwO-An4/v-deo.html
Hey Simon I just saw a Kinder Suprise at Walmart in Texas, but some bell end put the toy outside the egg and wrote Kinder Joy on the package. Im just being a cheeky bastard, I know the difference 😂
In Texas, you might actually be able to find one. Now that Kinder Joys are everywhere, maybe not so much, but in the past there have been little shops near the borders that carried them. (Or was that only a Canadian border thing? Hmm.) They may be harder to smuggle now though as the story of their illegality has grown.... or easier since nobody can tell the difference between Joys and Surprises? It used to be easy though (in small quantities) since nobody would think twice about you bringing a handful of chocolates across the border.
Don't think you'll find one at wal-mart though, no matter how close to the border, and if you do, someone's getting fired.
@@paritybit7830 I live in Canada, and would buy a Kinder Surprise as a treat for myself once in a while. THEN...I bought a Kinder Joy, and there was no going back!! The candy in the Joy is soooo much better than the Surprise chocolate egg. So, any Americans who think you're missing out by not being able to get the Surprises, you're not missing anything.
2 Florida man videos in a row?! What a treat!
Word
No, it just shows that Simon is creatively corrupt.
I swear, Simon is the only person who can segway from talking about "rapey prison" into an ad read about male genitalia trimmers
Literally the funniest Simon EVER!!!
Declares "I don't have ear hair", then clips his ear hair!😄😝😄
17:44 We've finally done it, lads and lady-lads. An honest to goodness Jojo reference.
I love when Simon and Danny fight through time. :D Maybe if you didn't keep him in the basement, the intros would get shorter.
YES! The He-Man laughing meme is my absolute favorite. Thanks Sam for the fantastic memes!
Simon @12:47 you were talking about a man who was too large to be imprisoned reminded me of a story about an outlaw in the old west called Black Jack who was convicted of murder and sentenced to be hung. They weighed Black Jack right after the trial so they could calculate the ratio for the hanging (yes there is such a thing). Unfortunately that it took such a long time before they hung him and he gained so much weight that the ratio for hanging him was wrong and when he was hung his head popped right off and flew into the air.
Yeah, I remember the "It's corked" thing with Clarkson, it was to do with Jag owners often being con artists and thieves, I mean they have to be given how often the things break down, gotta find the money from somewhere to be able to drive their Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaag... :P
I don't understand why this channel only has a quarter million subscribers. Spiff needs to team up with Simon to boost his audience. This is one of the best channels in English speaking media.
He explained in another video in one of his ADHD rants, 70 percent of his viewers aren't subscribed and it honestly doesnt matter, he makes the same regardless if viewers are subscribed or not, all that matters is that you watch a minimum of 98% of the video regardless if you hit like or dislike, subscribed or not the algorithm will suggest his videos in your feed,
@@jimmiedmc1 Well, he explained those metrics are essentially reversed for BB. Around 85% of his viewers are subscribed on this channel, which is very high. I think that as long as this channel is profitable he isn't incredibly concerned about acquiring more traffic. I just think it would be hilarious if Simon were to film and release about 100 47 second long shorts over a month. I'd want to see something like an inside joke or reference. The content matters little since shorts have a different algorithm rating engagement. I don't see it happening mostly because I doubt Simon wants to put in the work. It's like installing a turbo kit on a RAV4, if done correctly, it almost doesn't matter that you did it at all.
I thought he said BB was backwards to the rest with very high percentage of viewers subscribed.
@@graylinshowell7051 I never see ads on shorts so not sure what would be in it for him, also the number of channels he has hes making money, and the rates of his sponsorships must make it so revenue is all extra I would think
He has a ridiculous amount of channels: every other week he starts a new one, lol
I legitimately want to see a business blaze where Sam and Danny switch roles
When Simon goes off on a tangent it always reminds me of grandpa Simpson telling a story 😁
SW: "Not glorifying the use of drugs"
Also SW: *"COCAINE!!"*
I can’t wait for The Fast & The Furious 73. The characters are now all living in a nursing home and race their electric wheelchairs. It’s gonna be siiiiiccccck bro!
Problem is, it wont be that, theyll set up to do a race, then spacex or nasa will call em up to take on an intergalactic crime ring and theyll have space ships that look like chargers and supras n stuff, with lasers, railguns and whatever. And theyll fuck around and save the universe. As apposed to having a damn drag race down the hallway, like what we all actually wanted to see.
@@Colt45hatchback lasers are pretty tight. They will definitely have laser.
I'm already excited
Sometimes (for example in this episode), the ad read is just as funny, if not funnier than the actual content itself! You sure know how to sell product Simon!
Business blaze is successful because you get into the content we enjoy immediately, the BLAZE!
Also, whens the sequel to "10 inventions no-one needed (epic blaze)"? That one got your most views ever and you still do not honour your words of if it does well you do another because you're, erm, a business man, doing business.
Saving it for RAID SHADOW LEGENDS ads
@@jacobswafford1151 Paladium needs to make a new cashcow first
ive been watching Simon's videos for years now, and ive never once seen him as excited as he was when he read Danny's comment about fast and furious. i hope ill be that happy one day
I hope Brian the meme accountant is okay. If you’re reading this we think about you often and miss you. Hope you’re doing okay.
ogbb here yeah maan i miss brian too
Sometimes I go back and watch old videos just to remember the times of yesteryear where SIMON'S NEON SIGN ACTUALLY WORKED.
All the electricity for it goes up Danny's nose.
@@antonioarroyas7662 Turns out one of those Manscaped boxes is for Danny. Gotta keep the jungle cleared so the electrodes will work.
Florida Man, Darwin Awards, Dumb Criminals, and other peoples massive mistakes/Dumb Antics will always bring great views, and, as long as there is a modicum of effort put into the presentation and layout, any youtuber dabbling in these categories is likely to find a moderate level of sucess.
I've never laughed so hard before at a segue! "Is it a rapey prison?" "Manscapes"
Beautiful!!
I never miss a Florida man video, makes me thankful I live in Nevada!
I’ve lived in DeLand, FL for 21 years and this doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. My high school’s senior prank in 2004 was unleashing hundreds of thousands of bees into the school from stolen hives. Though we DO have a pretty good brewery.
born there (not sure if I should be admitting this..) and I'm trying to remember if I heard anything about it.. we've had some odd headlines but this isn't ringing any bells.
Don't know anything about the brewery, but there's a reason why DeLand is known as the skydiving capital of the world. There's just not much else this city can be known for, other than maybe the local university that just about every honors teacher wouldn't shut up about back when I was in school. That's why DeLand only gets recognized for the Florida man/woman stories, the pranks, and the less common tragic stuff.
That awkward moment when King Hippo comes to your restaurant, eats all the food, then tries to walk out without paying up.
I love how Simon was almost more exited about the box itself rather than the products in it 😂
Must be his inner cat shining through. Allegedly.
Danny, this intro was your best! I laughed loudly at the George Lazenby!
We got illegal real Kinder Eggs with the toy inside the container inside the chocolate egg from a little store in a US state. It was a great Middle Eastern shop with not just real Kinder Eggs but soooooo many other legal goodies.
And only little kids call it sketti
Simon, most court proceedings (in the US anyway) are open to the public, so there is zero security concern about zoom most of the time. In fact, many judges set up a livestream for their zoom hearings to make it easy for the public to view.
You've seen Back To The Future, but neither Star Wars or LOTR? That's kind of an achievement in my book. Well played Simon, well played
Business Blaze- where simon whistler's professionalism goes to die.
more like the channel he lets loss
This has become my favorite video so far because,
A. I’m a man from Florida.
B. I love the Danny and Sam videos.
C. I need a discount on Manscaped.
4:50 - Chapter 1 - Florida man faces 2 weeks...after eating evidence in court
9:15 - Chapter 2 - Florida man too fat...for jail
12:50 - Mid roll ads
16:20 - Chapter 3 - Florida man (disguised as a bull) tries to burn ex-boyfriend house...with spaghetti sauce
19:55 - Chapter 4 - Florida threatens to kill someone with kindness...who is actually the name of a machete
21:50 - Chapter 5 - Florida man rescued twice...while travelling in a inflatable hamster ball.
I think part of the reason the long intros work for Business Blaze is the fact that mostly everyone else on UA-cam adheres to the policy of short intros into content, the breaking of the standard routine is quite refreshing and enjoyable and for the newbies it is unexpected and quirky; a "Business Blaze Flavour" as you will.
Personally I would love a joke vid where 85% is just the introduction, I think Danny could use the challenge since being chained up in the basement all the time must be quite dull.
Fact Boi LOVES telling kinder egg / surprise story
I lived in Germany as a child and am beyond pissed I can't give my children the joy that is a kinder surprise. To this day it's my favorite choc since I can buy kinder bars by themselves.
"This is america. No chocolate and a toy for you. It's dangerous. Instead, here, have a gun"
Not how that works. But I mean, if you want to add to the plastic waste of the world-feel free to add to it.
I've started watching from the first episode of Business Blaze after getting hooked on the channel in the last week or so (while still watching new releases as they drop); it's now one of my favorite channels of any genre on YT!
Last time I was this early, the neon sign in the back was still working lol
He should just make a video of him repairing that thing. Like shit we all be watching just see her lighten up again. She is like the star on top the tree. She needs shine bright
Lol, that neckbeard desk was on point
Edit: 13:17
Danny's script: "Send Florida Man into early retirement before he jumps the alligator."
Captain America: "I understood that reference."
It's jump the SHARK....
Ref. Fonzi
Been binging your videos and man, I live for the intros though! And the tangents! It's not because I have adhd and love constant rotation of topics. Well it is, but it's also because I love Simon's delivery of such amazing scripts that Danny and Kevin and I'm sure there's more writers on this channel, they do great work! And not to forget Sam! Sam. You keep me glued to the screen with your editing. I'm trying to get work done while watching these... I just- it's a struggle. Keep it up!
I need this video right now. I need a break from watching this trial go down.
Then turn it off, genius.
Murder is hilarious enough already.
My brain was NOT ready for the picture of the graters. Well played Sam. Well played. 👏
On the subject of Simon's confidence that the judge wouldn't divulge the name of the informant.... I mean, didn't we once cover a story about a judge who stopped a jury and told them that the suspect was innocent because God told them so? Also, Simon forgot to factor in that this is a FLORIDA judge! 😁😁
ADHA flashing on screen was pure class....🤣😜😎🏴
Sometimes it seems like Simon is as much a prisoner as Danny...just Simon's cell has a window and lighting
Cellar windows, which are peed on by weirdly muscular dogs.
When he's not recording, you can find Simon in that very room. Milling around eating sandwiches, napping, or muttering to himself about kinder eggs.
Yes. He is. Why do you think he is cloned so much?
@asdrubale bisanzio you may have missed a joke...or hundred :D but yes plz I agreeze
Coast guard cost includes the amortized cost of the cutter (ship), the salaries of a the solid, the operating costs including fuel, etc. The cutter was likely 70 feet with a crew of 30 or so. The costs start from the moment the engines are turned on. Then there was the shore crew monitoring radar, etc. Plus there was probably a helicopter, for another $10,000 per hour.
Meme Accountant Here... it's "Cop-o-la", not "Cop-Ohhh-la". Is someone doing something to you that you like like when you said that?
Meme Count! Glad to have you, you BBOG.
You're back!
Ultimate OGBB!!! Hope you're well!
I know what I'm getting my son and son in law for Christmas. It's so nice to find something nice for grown men.
I want desperately for someone, ANYONE, to call a judge "judgy".
Been there, done that
@@mikebar42 So.....how did it work out for you?
Simon, they clearly make the box that way in case your stuff gets there broken or something and you need to return it. Which actually makes it pretty awesome, good box design there. Seal it back up and slap a shipping label on it. Done.
Petition to give Danny one of the 4 manscape boxes because he probably needs grooming supplies down there in the basement
How would he be able to recharge anything?
@@brainblaze6526 thats the point:
* Danny receives a manscape kit *
Simon tosses Danny a box. "They sent us four. I guess you might want to see one," he says before closing the basement door, leaving Danny in the dank loneliness he has come to find comfortably familiar.
Danny opens the box by pulling the tab, and discovers that he has been gifted a Manscape Box! a nose-hair trimmer, and even a shaver for his delicate areas. Danny suspects a trap, but at this point is simply hoping that this will give him some sense of humanity.
The weeks pass. Danny has used the equipment in the box to make his privates far more presentable - not that he has anyone to present them to, it's just for his own knowledge. It makes him feel a bit more human, more civilized.
Danny goes to activate the trimmer. Its been a bit tired of late, quickly dying after he turns it on - but Danny discovers that if he just trims a little bit at a time, he can still make himself presentable. Then the horrific happens: the trimmer doesnt turn on. at all. not even one ocilation.
Danny eventually asks Simon for permission to recharge the trimmer. Simon ignores the pleas. Danny tries delicately injecting requests for a return of this small token of civility back in his life - The punishment was harsh.
It is now that Danny realizes that his initial suspicions were right: this WAS a trap. He was granted a sense of civilization - of humanit - only to have it now permenantly stripped away.
This breaks Danny's spirit all the more.
@@temseti0 I'm not sure whether you're trying to give Simon ideas on torturing Danny or giving Danny story ideas.
Either way it's hilarious!!!
The bill from the coast guard probably isnt just the actual cost like fuel and stuff but like wasting the time of coast guard members who could probably have been doing something more useful lol.
Are there any Florida Woman stories? Or are they all at home wishing they'd listened to their mother about not marrying Florida Man?
They exist but they are fewer in number and are messier.
They are the equivalent of South Carolina man and thus don't get as much attention. That being said, do not approche one in the wild or look them in the eyes.
He's got videos of Florida Women on Top Tenz
Eileen Wurnos
@@garyhall7867 *Aileen
16:28 "4 of the 3 people involved in this story..." Whoosh
*Me* : I really need to get to bed for work later.
*UA-cam* : Simon uploaded Florida man adventures 3.
*My Brain* : 👀👀👀
I'm all for taking Florida and pushing it somewhere else
Who's with me?
ua-cam.com/video/FfHXJpVsHJ4/v-deo.html
If we could swap Florida out with South Korea, I would say yes! Ram the Carolinas against the west coast of North Korea and you get the loser's trifecta.
Well push it south, not east👍
Well the town I live in here in Florida made it into the last Florida Man video and we did it again. When Florida Man IV happens, and we know it will, I hope that maybe I'll know the person this time.
ADHD. Yes, Sam, you nailed it!
I only made it half way through this comment
@@mikebar42 can relate
I love top gear! The show deserves its own episode!
They sent him four of everything cause they know Simon uses clones
"one for each of your clones, and this broken one for your boy in the basement"
1:50
I
NEED
THIS
SIGN
(for my everyday life, just rolling across the views of people I have in my life, whenever i go off topic or otherwise gets distracted. YES! my life is very much controlled by my ADHD)
Thanks Simon for displaying the red solo cups. I shall have that God forsaken song ear warm in my head for the rest of the day x.x
Simon needs to do a reaction to that video lol then he might get the princess hair buns reference
Simon: Makes fun of the word 'sketti'.
Also Simon: Uses the word 'disorientated'.
...who gets up at 2am to make sketti? Someone doesn't hang out with millennials.
The longer the intros are here the better. Danny is a master. One day I hope to get a video that's entirely the intro and then the end is a quick listing of whatever the actual topic is supposed to be.
Is this Christmas? Because getting two Floridaman videos in a row feels like Christmas.
9:30 I'm told that's a great way to get out of debt too, when they call asking for money you tell them you've got to report to prison tomorrow and they'll drop the charges.
In this video: SImon gives you permission to be gay, followed by a chef's kiss.
And also.. something about Florida
“We’ll kill them...with kindness.”
“But that takes so long!”
As a Florida woman, I'm just sitting here laughing my ass off about these.
Blazing at the bakery with Simon, our boy with the Blaze.
Projection, 1/2 Intro 1/2 Story, 0% Chance at Danny’s freedom
I have the feeling simon made all of these channels so that he can self plug on all of then with a different channel daily. Outstanding move.
Only two more days until I can afford to blaze to business blaze again
Same😖
would bail you both out if I could =(
If I could, I'd give you some of my blazeness, which I just blazed.
I live in Florida, and I love these videos lol. My state is insane, but we're not boring
Florida Man reporting in. I need to up my shitposting game so Simon will take notice
Edit: I get real high and IIIIIIIII
scream at the top of my lungs
WHATS GOING ON!!!
😂 I thought at first that Simon said... "it depends on if it's a REIKI prison." Sooo confused. 😂🤣🤣🤣
I would like to meet with Danny because he seems to be lonely in that basement.
Sam is down there...probably more now. Including the corpse of ETA
Collum may have joined them as well.
I didn't watch yesterday on my one day off a week cause I knew I would need it today to cheer me up
Especially FLORIDA MAN😍