Just wanted to thank you for your helpful, entertaining, informative and fun videos that have helped me navigate an awful separation/divorce and tentative new dating experiences. I've had the most transformative six months of growth, and none of it would have happened without my Chad dumping me. And while I won't say that NONE of it would have happened without you, I think I would have been significantly less open to new possibilities and experiences without you. Thank you so much, Anna. My friends and I love and have learned so much from you!
I will say the timing of a breakup does matter somewhat: My most recent ex dumped me 2 weeks before I went to go take the foreign bar exam in the UK (been barred in NY for 2 years now), and while def a “microwave relationship” given his…intensity early on, I will never move past that fact of how inconsiderate he was for that timing given how much it messed with me those last few crunch weeks of studying, when he knew what my mental focus was at that time. I’m mostly over it as it’s been a few months, but that lack of respect really proved he would’ve never been the right person for me. He could’ve dumped me early on when I’d first said I didn’t know if I wanted kids, or when I reaffirmed that doubt a month later and said I’d understand if that changed his mind about me. But he said nbd both times and that we’d both think about it more and come back to it when we’d have enough time to dedicate to the topic in a month or two, which I thought he’d follow through on given that communication. Always better to rip the bandaid off, but just have some consideration for that timing so it doesn’t hurt more in other ways ❤️
1000% agree with you about couples therapy. I was in a three year - living together relationship that had issues galore that no therapy could come close to addressing. I’d ignored tons of red flags and even though he was physically present in therapy his avoidant traits made therapy a pointless slog.
That is so true. I’ve also lived together with my ex boyfriend for an amount of time. And honestly the red flags were bursting. He also had huge communication issues and tended to stonewall, we were never able to resolve any conflict as a team except for forgetting it happened the next day. I knew this would be a problem but I kinda just ignored it. I relate so hard because I go to a therapist and sometimes he would join, he would be very engaged, talking about his childhood. He seems to really care about my issues. But you know some avoidant style people are actually unable to work with you as a team to resolve conflict when something actually happens…
I believe that couples counselling can be hugely beneficial for both parties especially BEFORE any issues show up. We don't learn how to have constructive arguments or how to be in a relationship in school or at home, and there are so many tools we can learn and insights about ourselves and our partner we can get through counselling, and then try them out in a safe and non judgemental environment. Why wouldn't you take advantage of that?
While I understand this viewpoint, I have to disagree here. In my opinion, anyone going to couples counseling while they’re dating before they even have a disagreement is a red flag. If someone is learning more about how to communicate with their partner via a third party intermediary that early on than alone with their partner, it likely indicates it’s not the right fit. It doesn’t necessarily mean one or both parties lack constructive communication skills, it might just mean they have different ways of communicating or vastly differing stances on life. I don’t say this to try and change your mind on this, as if you have found it beneficial, then that is valid, too. These videos are my opinions.
Hey, Ana. I love your videos. Can you talk about knowing your worth and what helped you to know your worth? You mentioned in one of your previous videos that women frequently don't think they deserve the man that they want. This is so true. I'd like to know more about how you came into knowing your self-worth, because I think it would really help me and other women who are looking to value ourselves more.
God thank you so much for this video. I really needed to hear this for someone who got fired a few days ago. I will use all this time into taking my next step. ❤️❤️❤️
Hello, thank you so much for making such great videos! They are super helpful. I was wondering if you could please address the following issue: Dating is hard and finding the right person seems impossible sometimes. I am at the point in the life where I know my value and have elevated my standards to be so high, that I know I will never let any unworthy chad in again. But sometimes it gets tough and I start to wonder what if I end up alone forever. What if I never find the one. Would you be able to address, some dating strategies that can help filter through guys quickly so we can find fhe right person quicker? Or if you have strategies on how to date, such as using or not using dating apps or waiting around so you run into your perfect man naturally, etc. Again, thank you so much. I absolutely love you ❤
How do you learn to love your own company? I was going through like seasonal depression and had to get a dog because I couldn’t take it anymore. That obviously didn’t solve the whole problem because a dog can’t replace human interaction, how do I make my peace being alone all of the time? (Not for a lack of trying, I just have a careless roommate, and busy family and friends).
Just wanted to thank you for your helpful, entertaining, informative and fun videos that have helped me navigate an awful separation/divorce and tentative new dating experiences. I've had the most transformative six months of growth, and none of it would have happened without my Chad dumping me. And while I won't say that NONE of it would have happened without you, I think I would have been significantly less open to new possibilities and experiences without you. Thank you so much, Anna. My friends and I love and have learned so much from you!
All of it happened because of you - I was just a reminder of what you always had within you. Here’s to the next six months of growth and beyond ❤️
I get the advice for self love from these videos more than my mom as a teenager! ❤ I hope you keep posting!
I will say the timing of a breakup does matter somewhat:
My most recent ex dumped me 2 weeks before I went to go take the foreign bar exam in the UK (been barred in NY for 2 years now), and while def a “microwave relationship” given his…intensity early on, I will never move past that fact of how inconsiderate he was for that timing given how much it messed with me those last few crunch weeks of studying, when he knew what my mental focus was at that time.
I’m mostly over it as it’s been a few months, but that lack of respect really proved he would’ve never been the right person for me. He could’ve dumped me early on when I’d first said I didn’t know if I wanted kids, or when I reaffirmed that doubt a month later and said I’d understand if that changed his mind about me. But he said nbd both times and that we’d both think about it more and come back to it when we’d have enough time to dedicate to the topic in a month or two, which I thought he’d follow through on given that communication. Always better to rip the bandaid off, but just have some consideration for that timing so it doesn’t hurt more in other ways ❤️
1000% agree with you about couples therapy. I was in a three year - living together relationship that had issues galore that no therapy could come close to addressing. I’d ignored tons of red flags and even though he was physically present in therapy his avoidant traits made therapy a pointless slog.
That is so true. I’ve also lived together with my ex boyfriend for an amount of time. And honestly the red flags were bursting. He also had huge communication issues and tended to stonewall, we were never able to resolve any conflict as a team except for forgetting it happened the next day. I knew this would be a problem but I kinda just ignored it. I relate so hard because I go to a therapist and sometimes he would join, he would be very engaged, talking about his childhood. He seems to really care about my issues. But you know some avoidant style people are actually unable to work with you as a team to resolve conflict when something actually happens…
Love the longer format. Great as always!
Have been loving your reels, SO GLAD you have a UA-cam! Woohoo!
Gallery wall actually looks really nice! 👍
Thank you I wanted to cry after it was done
You are amazing ! So helpful 🎉❤
I believe that couples counselling can be hugely beneficial for both parties especially BEFORE any issues show up. We don't learn how to have constructive arguments or how to be in a relationship in school or at home, and there are so many tools we can learn and insights about ourselves and our partner we can get through counselling, and then try them out in a safe and non judgemental environment. Why wouldn't you take advantage of that?
While I understand this viewpoint, I have to disagree here. In my opinion, anyone going to couples counseling while they’re dating before they even have a disagreement is a red flag. If someone is learning more about how to communicate with their partner via a third party intermediary that early on than alone with their partner, it likely indicates it’s not the right fit. It doesn’t necessarily mean one or both parties lack constructive communication skills, it might just mean they have different ways of communicating or vastly differing stances on life. I don’t say this to try and change your mind on this, as if you have found it beneficial, then that is valid, too. These videos are my opinions.
Hey, Ana. I love your videos. Can you talk about knowing your worth and what helped you to know your worth? You mentioned in one of your previous videos that women frequently don't think they deserve the man that they want. This is so true. I'd like to know more about how you came into knowing your self-worth, because I think it would really help me and other women who are looking to value ourselves more.
God thank you so much for this video. I really needed to hear this for someone who got fired a few days ago. I will use all this time into taking my next step. ❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry biddie, but I so believe that losing your old job is just creating space in your life for a new, better, one eventually ❤️
Great advices and perspectives!
Thank you! I love your content.
Hello, thank you so much for making such great videos! They are super helpful. I was wondering if you could please address the following issue: Dating is hard and finding the right person seems impossible sometimes. I am at the point in the life where I know my value and have elevated my standards to be so high, that I know I will never let any unworthy chad in again. But sometimes it gets tough and I start to wonder what if I end up alone forever. What if I never find the one. Would you be able to address, some dating strategies that can help filter through guys quickly so we can find fhe right person quicker? Or if you have strategies on how to date, such as using or not using dating apps or waiting around so you run into your perfect man naturally, etc.
Again, thank you so much. I absolutely love you ❤
Out of curiosity, what did you do for money before tiktok?
How do you learn to love your own company? I was going through like seasonal depression and had to get a dog because I couldn’t take it anymore. That obviously didn’t solve the whole problem because a dog can’t replace human interaction, how do I make my peace being alone all of the time? (Not for a lack of trying, I just have a careless roommate, and busy family and friends).
Also I want express that you’d should never go to couples therapy with an abuser.
I hope this isn't coming from a personal place, but if it is, I'm glad you're on the other side
@@maybeboth oh no I was smart enough not to and thank you for the kind words 💕
I disagree. I think therapy could be beneficial during dating, mostly when there are kids involved.
A to Q 2: go to therapy for yourself to figure out your relationships attachment choices & you’re struggling to figure out what to do. 😉