When She Says She 'Doesnt Feel a Connection'
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- Опубліковано 4 жов 2024
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Outro song: Thorn Beats -
Translation: I am not attracted to you and you do not trigger my emotions. In one word: next.
Then why do they bother going on first and second dates? Mostly first. This keeps happening to me. I’m getting a lot of first dates with attractive women and rarely second.
I’ve noticed that all of these “no spark” or “no connection” always stay single
Yup
They’re holding out for a feeling they’re unable to feel.
The tip around the 4-5 minute mark is so key. You have to have the confidence to do your own thing and not try to control the situation. You lead and do your thing, then you accept the response you get back. Winning is when she puts the effort in to consistently come back, but there is no way to force that to happen. When you lose, you rarely if ever get a justification and have to be okay with it.
Great video!
I’ve heard the “I didn’t feel a connection” line at least 20 times in my life. It’s the most frustrating thing
I’m 26 and went on my 1st date ever last night. I also got voted runner up best looking in a beach town HS (most people are attractive here). So looks isn’t part of lack of dates. I’ve always just always had a high standard, I wanted wife material with model looks, never wanted to date casually, and I’ve never strayed from that. Well, last night I met with this girl who seemed to be checking off everything that I’ve wanted. The night in my eyes was going great. Conversation flowed, had plenty in common, I even tried to let her go early to give her an out since it was getting later. She brushed it off and then proceeded to converse for another 20-25 minutes. I don’t recall any awkward pauses or shit like that.
I text her about an hour after going home saying:
“I had a great time getting to know you and look forward to continuing that!”
She responds “it was great getting to know you as well. You’re really great, I just didn’t feel a romantic connection.”
Bruh like what the actual fk
@@ImGayWhenISayThisBut Seriously? What is with girls?
@@coyotefever105 looking back.
I think she actually meant it. I wasn’t as flirtatious as I could’ve been. I underdressed because I’m stupid and we had an initial date planned but I said I’d like to see her sooner. So we planned on a walk while still having the initial date planned, which would have been this Sunday :(
The day of the planned walk, she switched it to drinks. I said sure. To me it wasn’t really THEE date in my eyes. Her on the other hand looked phenomenal and clearly put the effort to look her best. She wore a fkin sundress for God’s sake 🤦🏻. She looked absolutely incredible! As I mentioned before I was looking for wife material and that implies I’m looking for my wife and not a casual fling. So instead of flirting and trying to establish a romantic relationship with sparks that fly from the get go. I went conservative and had more of a conversation type flow. We talked favorite shows, career goals, some family stuff came in, etc.. Now the conversations were good, they flowed, we both kept a healthy level of eye contact. I legit thought she was interested from the eye contact she was giving me.
I feel like I screwed this one up as I looked back at it. Again, 1st date EVER so I was not well prepared I suppose. I honestly hope that I see her again out and about organically to maybe have her reconsider and plant a new impression of me. I definitely could have done better.
Nonetheless, I still made it known that I was interested in her.
@@ImGayWhenISayThisBut For real. What are they expecting within a few hours of getting to know someone?
Unbelievable
Her: I don't feel a connection.
Me: Yeah, me neither.
😀
And, some women are afraid to experience their strong feelings of attraction. You could be doing everything perfect but your date may have intimacy issues. Best to move on.
I just got told this today while trying to set up a second date. I knew she was attracted to me from the start. We talked for over two hours at a bar and had everything under the sun in common to talk about. It was a pleasant time. Exchanged numbers before leaving and she seemed enthusiastic in responding and acknowledging my initial offer to meet up again. I'm guessing she slept on it and changed her mind and I'm fine with that. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong cuz this just keeps happening over and over to me. I lead, act respectful, crack jokes, spark intellectual conversations, be manly, and for whatever reason they "don't feel a connection with me". I'll admit I don't feel the sparks either at first, but I'm willing to build cuz anything worth having takes time, right? Feels like a lot of women these days want a fairy tale or something. I just don't fucking know, man.
What I realised when I was in a relationship is that I stopped being myself. I became someone who fit the books but not myself. Just be yourself and stop worrying about the outcome. Even if she walks away, you'll still be happy.
This has no gender. Happened to me 4x in a row. I guess Im too smart for men, not easy to control, they are intimidated or wtf god knows. This era of online dating is one bs.
Bro same exact thing has happened to me about 3 times in the last 2 months. Most recently (yesterday) was told she felt no romantic connection that she thought should by now. We had 4 dates finally made out and got more physical on the last one and she seemed have a great time and great banter but still hit me with that out of the blue. WTF?? Haha
I feel you man, am facing such a situation now, thought the stara were finally aligned for me, but now I'm back to the damn drawing board
Happened to me today. I knew the first date ended awkward. She enjoyed the date. But as soon as she said that she didn’t feel the connection, i felt sad honestly. Like what was it that I was lacking? I just don’t get it.
I’ve heard this countless of times. In my experience it’s because a lot of the women I’ve encountered wanted “bad boys”…..not saying this out of jealousy or bitterness but I’m saying this because I’ve seen it with my own eyes. It is what it is. Some people unfortunately aren’t happy and satisfied unless they’re living in a 24/7 world of drama. Let them be. Do the things that you enjoy doing that makes you happy.
*5 things to quit for all people:*
1. Caring about what others think
2. Not believing in yourself
3. Not prioritizing your health
4. Wasting your precious time
5. Chasing meaningless relationships
For those who are in the rush of changing their lives :-)
you just said my life 😂
in other words most of the time she doesn't find you physically attractive, don't even bother just move on to the next girl
I'd rather she just said that she found me hideous/disgusting than give some gibberish about "not feeling a connection" which doesn't mean anything.
She will also feel disconnected if you lead all the time. That's what my ex-gf said when she broke up with me. She says that she don't feel the connection. What I realised was I was the one talking most of the time I was with her, but she has very little to no opinion of the things I talked to her about. 80 to 90% of the dates, I was the one initiating. After the break-up, I came to know that she was just "in for the ride". Luckily, I did not suffer much monetary loss from dating her as she did pay for some of the dates as well.
Guys, make sure you girl is talking to you when you're dating. Otherwise you'll suffer the same fate as well.
10 to 1 she just wanted to get out of the house and make out. She kinda likes you but that's it. She just ain't feeling it. Women have too many options, she basically just swiped left in reality.
For me as a woman who will say this to men from time to time, there’s really no real answer on my end. It’s definitely frustrating when men tell me the same thing, but I just accept it and move on to someone who does see the connection with me. Sometimes it has to do with physical attraction or whether or not I’m sexually attracted, however, most of the time the man really hasn’t done anything wrong. Sometimes, we just have nothing in common or personalities clash and we find out we are totally different people. That’s actually one I can explain. I never fault a man for being “too feminine/less masculine”. The bar is really low for me lol. Just have an awesome personality, love cats, want kids, have things in common with me, and be attractive (subjective to me obvi)…and I’ll probably like you.
Yeah sometimes its just physical attractiveness however a lot of times if she agrees to go on the date there is usually some attraction there. I think this happens a lot with the dating apps where it forces people into a 'date' scenario which is unnatural for most people.
@@TheSingleGuy 100% it’s so unnatural and the whole dynamic totally changes when you meet in person!
well thats because its men who have to be the ones to spark or build the attraction, women don't really need to know how to attract a guy
Thanks Lloyd. Wish I found this earlier. A year ago my ex said 'she isn't feeling the spark for me anymore' we worked through it and a year later (it was a 2 year relationship) She broke up with me saying She doesn't love me anymore. I can see where I went wrong as I heard you talk about 'not leading' etc. Thanks Lloyd for these bits. I'm glad I learnt something important by this video. GG⚡
Now you know. If you see her again or with the next girl you’re with you’ll know what to do.
I have to agree with this. Women like to feel like they’re being pursued and led in a masculine but gentle manner. If I feel like I’m taking the lead I don’t feel feminine and it makes me uncomfortable and the guy less attractive. This probably doesn’t make sense but I can relate lol
From a female perspective I would like to add that sometimes we can feel a mental connection but not a emotional one. I had this happen before where the guy did lead the conversation but any time I answered with my feelings he would roll over and not acknowledge them and he kinda of dominated the conversation with him self which wasn’t bad he did ask me questions but I didn’t feel a emotional bond with him because he just wanted to hear my thoughts not feelings though I listened to his so he felt emotionally connected and I did not. I didn’t even know why until I thought about it.
Emotions are temporary, if ppl keep basing decisions on their feelings they will end up with the best manipulators
The important thing to note in this is not to EVER ask for another chance. Once they’ve sent that text to you, just move on and take your L. It sucks to waste your whole night thinking everything went really well only to be told she didn’t “feel a connection” with you. It’s likely the physical attraction wasn’t there and that’s okay. Move on and forget it.
I noticed on Bumble a lot of the chicks that insist on going out right away with sending hardly any messages never actually pan out, I'd say the lack of connection, even if it's built through text, is the reason. Kinda weird.
As a woman when I say this its I don't feel a romantic attraction or chemistry. It does suck because there are some great guys where I feel compatible but if I'm not excited after a few dates I feel its best to end it. I do agree I find when men try to hard and are so agreeable with everything I do it can be a bit of a turn off strangely enough
i would say this is a common reason why getting a second date is a struggle for a lot of guys, men out there, as in, why women lose interest after the first date
If a girl asks you for space give her so much that she should think she's an astronaut.
This is my experience lately and it’s more often than you think: the man has not unloaded his issues and needs two ears to listen to him. They have no interest in what you have to say, they literally just unload. So now he feels good and you’re literally just a sounding board. They have a false sense of connection because someone is listening, and the woman is already checked out. As much as men think women use them for dinner, they use us as free therapy. “I don’t feel a connection” is the truth but also nicer than saying “I’d like to run far away from you”.
Loyd don't get me wrong but sometimes women say that they don't feel a spark any more when there done taken advantage of you
Dude you're the fucking guru. Finally an explanation of what man to woman MEANS
usually mean no sexual attraction.
Lloyd I love your content bro...it's so practical and actionable,that any guy can try them and be better with when it comes to women. Keep up the good work man. All the way from South Africa
Thanks homie! No problem
Very useful love getting these vids thanks for it all 🤜🤛
Excellent as always, thanks Lloyd. :) Jon
This is really helpful, thanks bro!!!
yah only watched a couple videos but this guy has some brain unlike most dating coach. A real teacher would want to give advice plus example that train you to critical think about different problems however not only rely just on either one-sidedly looking in emotion or logic aspect of any given situation. Takes high discipline as well to always try not to give or take too much in a relationship.
Awesome! Very helpful. Any videos on how to “lead” in the dating process?
It was going fine but when confessed she said she's not into relationships and shr don't feel it mutual. I think she still have feelings for her ex. Idk Im not going to Simps someone who cannot feel me.
Doesn't matter. Gonna live my own life.
Dam I shoulda learned this
It happened me recently. We made out and later on she text me that she didn’t feel it. I just said ok and deleted her number.
She texted a few messages saying that she finds me attractive, etc, and I replied that I don’t like to waste my time and if she change her mind to let me know.
She got upset with me. Anyway, my opinion is not to sit and talk it over. She made a decision. Move on
Same like the friends thing though ,, i just say to her im not interested being her friend, just give me a call if she ever change her mind.
She ghosted me lol
How to make a girl follow you?
Im not sure why girls feel to tell me about the ex and the connection they have. Obviously it was not a mutual genuine connection. I admit I am not the type of person that moves quickly. Girls want that connection so quickly.
This shit just happened to me today
Nice thought
Great vid, but I feel like its missing an important part! When I don't feel a connection, for me it means the guy does not make me feel safe. He does not validate my emotions, make me feel seen or heard or make me feel like he cares what I have to say. Maybe he is more concerned with what he has to say, so often he ends up feeling connected because he feels seen and heard on his end. An easy way to avoid this is to simply ask her questions and be genuinely interested in her. If you aren't, then you prob shouldn't be dating her. The other stuff in the vid is important too though, like leading. If you make the girl do all the work or constantly look to her to plan dates, she will see you as a friend. It comes off immature and like you don't have your shit together.
I looked up this video to try to understand why I'm not feeling a connection after 2 dates...
You're an idiot if you don't know why
I met a great guy and gave him chances but there is no spark, so I don't the relationship should continue.
My gf wants to break up with me I really care about her; but she says that we have a lack of comunication and I agree but she only says that is me who don t ask her how shes been; how her day wend ; whats up etc.. I believe that actions speak louder than words I ve always like to spend time with her ; keep her happy , relaxed; comfortable but she is insisiting that this is more important . After 10 months of great relationship now she wants to dump me . Should I respect her decision or try something else to fix the situation. Guys please help.
Tbh I would much, much rather be ghosted or flat out told that I'm hideous than a girl say to me that "she doesn't feel a connection" after a date.
It's just insulting and it's treating you like an idiot.
It is interesting to listen to a man's point of view on women's words or actions. From my experience, a woman's experience, when a woman doesn't feel a connection, that's the way it is, unfortunately. And here no actions or words will save the situation. She has already decided that you are not on the right path. There can be many reasons: physically not attractive to her, not smart, different sense of humor, different views on life, etc.
If she finds you hideous and wants you dead, why was she on a date with you?
Would she feel the same with Harry Styles?
Yo guys I've asked this girl out and we went on 2 dates. She was so into me I constantly made her laugh and she kept constantly saying that I'm cute. I did go a little overboard with the compliments and I did kiss her on our second date. You spoke about leading her I felt like I lead her on all both dates. So she asked me to meet her at Starbucks right after our second date and I walked her to her car and she gives me this big intimate hug and tells me to promise to not get sad or mad and tells me that I'm a great guy but she doesn't think that she's the right one for me. Do you guys think that I rushed things? She said that she still wants to be friends. What could I do if there's still a chance for me to change her views about me and bring up the chemistry we had on our first date. I need some coaching guys, please help.
Just say you are not interested in being friends, and move on, sounds like its more messed up on her side than yours, she need to figure out what she want first, but in the meanwhile for the next one, dont get too comfortable even she has a huge interests on you in the beginning.
Nah you never know sometimes you too overbearing sometimes too distant sometimes too good...endless possibilities. It can be anything, it can be their mental block, insecurities, addiction, reminder of ex, reminder of parent, anything...but the point is not that many people nowadays wanna know people on a deep level. We are happy on a surface level as we see on the social media, to know strangers better than real people. Lots of illusion and confusion in our society. Gender equality. Men became threatened by women /basically since history exists/. Its a lottery.
And sometimes you can win a psychopath ☺ so lucky stay single peace 🤘
And there is nothing to be a friend. I see it as a good start.
Naw if u make a girl laugh to much they gonna put u into the friend zone lol.
@@zixuangong672 Thanks for the advice and insight I appreciate it.
i'd say don't worry about it mate. An intimate relationship is just a long struggle.
I swear 3-4 dates in this always happens to me. Its odd because sometimes this is after we have kissed or even slept together:/.
What if you got a girl you like she likes you but you got a third person she won't interact with you and she won't interact with you
Could it just be a that she's testing you ?
Maybe - but the best reaction to that would just be like: "Ok, cool. Take care then"
Either way, the correct response is still the same: Pull back and move on.
Winning people over is a Hollywood fantasy. They have to choose you back if you choose them.
This shit happened to me!
How does one overcome this if they care very much about how others perceive them? I still want to meet someone
Let's go Brandon!!
I get told this every time and it’s infuriating. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll just eventually become attracted to men.
this whole following thing, isn't that them just wanting to be lazy? Sure as hell sounds like it.
I’m just so confused. We had great sexual chemistry. And we had a lot of good times in six months. I admit, I made the relationship probably bigger than what it was. She dated a ton and I’ve only been in 2 relationships this being my third. But she ended it saying she wanted to be single she isn’t sure if she’s sure of herself or not. I got pissed and made a scene like an idiot. But the break up came out of nowhere. She only ever said to me once she had doubts but I convinced her to give it a chance. After four months I messaged her again asking what happened and she said she didn’t feel a connection. I’ve spent too much time wondering what I did wrong but i don’t even know. I have to accept it for what it is.
What if it’s been like 3.5 years and she says this.
Then she’s probably about to cheat on you
@@MattBerrymotorsport that’s what I’m sayin
@@MattBerrymotorsport true
Bruh for me they come with a mindset of relationships and end up just wanting sex/fwb and im done with meaningless sex. In the end they say that they done feel a connection but wanna keep sex goin da faq
Tom Brady is probably the most manly of men out there. We can all agree on that.
If Tom Brady’s wife is cheating on him and divorcing him then what does that say about women’s loyalties nowadays?
Even if women have it all they get bored and want to move onto the next thing.
It’s a stupid game which is why a lot of men are leaving the dating field.
I can we talk personally
I dont approach women anymore like a creep a just ignoring them, not to be needy and stop affection through mind
I need help in my relationship
please dont make fake suggestive vedios
Starts at 1:30
Thank you
The poetry with " I am not actually the single guy" it's so stupid. But who the heck is ? Me, the viewer ? Maybe,and why are you so offended not to be seen in my shoes ? You feel like losing the superior status ?
This shit is so confusing