When Mother's Day Means a Trip to Prison | Op-Docs
Вставка
- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
- Today, Op-Docs brings you Elizabeth Lo’s “Mother’s Day,” which follows some children in California on an annual overnight bus program that brings them to visit their incarcerated parents. The film cuts straight to the emotional core of a huge topic, as did Lo’s previous Op-Doc, the acclaimed “Hotel 22,” which tells the story of a very different kind of bus trip.
More from The New York Times Video:
Subscribe: bit.ly/U8Ys7n
Watch all of our videos here: nytimes.com/video
Facebook: / nytvideo
Twitter: / nytvideo
----------
Whether it's reporting on conflicts abroad and political divisions at home, or covering the latest style trends and scientific developments, New York Times video journalists provide a revealing and unforgettable view of the world. It's all the news that's fit to watch.
"I'm getting used to the feel of getting hurt." - said by a child
That was sad to hear.
How sad for these children. They pay an even bigger price than the offenders.
Broke my heart
Oh that was so sad. The first child was reading way above grade level and these kids dealing with adult issues better than half the adults I know.
That was me as a child. Grew up in foster care. Im now 31 and still have the pain of every moment in my life growing up. It never gets easier. Ive learned from all my pain. Grow from it. Dont become it. I feel for these children. I know exactly how tgey feel. Hope they all grow to become a positive role model and learn from their parents mistakes like i have.
The parent gets the sentence, but the child does the time.
Yes
Well said
They both do time.
i don’t get it can u explain?
@@SilkyGhost1 the kid has to wait a long time to see there parent again
my heart broke in half when he said: im kinda used to being hurt
luce0103 dam it really did
luce0103 hurt me too , he’s just a child
luce0103 I’ve said this to my dad because he’s always in jail or worse prison
luce0103 same😭
It is so sad that the kids have to go through that
Not so much about the mothers, or their crimes, or whether they deserve to be there or not.
It's about the children who suffer on the outside.
The decision making skills of these moms are really lacking, and without a mom the likelihood of these kids end up making bad decisions are just much higher...so in summary, it is no win situation no matter what happens.
Paloma, that name reminds me something deep!
You just took my words out my mouth, this people that organize and make this things happen are great and deserve all our respect and gratitude
Even very bad people are still people.
paloma yessbut image a mother
Killed a mother of 2
Then 3 kids are hurting😭
“so it’s like...i’m sorta kinda used to the feel of getting hurt” .. wow i teared up. seeing that boy in the glasses cry too hurt. you can see how affected he is about the situation. this is saddening :(
Nam Balloon I started crying so hard
No chld should say hes kinda getting used to being hurt. That hit me so hard
ARMMYYYYY
In tears...I pray all of your hurt turns into bountiful blessings. No child should have to deal with these circumstances.
Nam Balloon omg. I’m crying soooo much
Y’all are so focused on the mother but the kids are the ones who’s hurting here. Did you not here that little boy towards the end saying his mom was in jail once before so he is used to it. And his dad left when he was 3 died when he was 9 and he seems to be no older than 12. Saying he is used to feeling sad. That’s sad man. Children don’t need to be in these types of situations
Yasmin Corbin These people shouldn't have kids then! They are stupid parents.
Evelyn Obertnaya sadly these parents don’t think that way. They shouldn’t have kids but, you can’t stop them and the ones who suffer are these poor kids who didn’t ask to be brought into that situation, their selfish patents made that choice for them 😠
so true
So your saying we shouldn't imprison the mothers, even though they commit crimes? Yeah that's genius.
firstly alot of parents in prisons who better than alot of parents on the outside and most people in prison are convicted of non violent drug charges and are extremely poor
My mother was in prison in my early years of life...my dad took us to see her and she came home and never went back. Thank God for a different outcome
Thank goodness it turned out okay, god bless you and your family.
Happy for you. Hope your life turns out well. ❤
Dont even know you but am so happy for you. Grateful for you that things turned out better.
I'm glad you had a happy ending, so many children don't 😐
Carla Stevens ur lucky u get to live with ur dad I live with my mum and I have two sisters who live with my dad and me and my sister who is a year younger than me just thought we were best friends in primary school but when I was in year 8 and she was in year 7 we were told we were actually sisters the whole time my dad still acts like a dad but I'm glad now I know him and my two younger sisters who are 13 and 6 nearly 7 and I'm 14 my and my 13 year old sister has sleepovers a lot I like going to her house tho because I get to see my 6 year old sister to I love being the oldest to the best sisters in the world I wouldn't ask for anything more my 13 year old sister people always asks us if she's older because she is like 5'8 in height and I'm only 5'2 so she is much taller than me and even the youngest out of us is nearly my size and she is only 6 nearly 7
"My mom has been to jail before my dad left me when I was 3 and died when I was 9 so I'm kind of getting used to the feeling of being hurt."
I'm so sad for these children.
Are you ok?
Those purple shirts reference a program called Get On The Bus, which is sponsored by several churches. The main purpose of the program is with the help of volunteers, children and young adults who cannot afford or don’t have the transportation to see the families that are incarcerated.
I’ve been in the program, the support is amazing and so are the amount of blessings provided by total strangers. It’s hard having someone in your life daily, and then having to live without them. Prisons are a tough place to be, and they don’t always send prisoners nearby their family.
Thanks for reading this.
❤
It’s heartbreaking hearing a child say he’s getting used to the feeling of being hurt
Sunshine Hope I love ur profile pic
Keep your negative comments to yourself. These kids are innocent and you don’t know why someone is incarcerated. This is such a heartbreaking reality for so many.
Aleix Browne If a parent is so stressed and friends offer he or she drugs, he or she would most likely take it. If they do that, do you think your punishment is reasonable?
Aleix Browne and then what? You realize that 80% of our incarcerated population will be released one day right? If you don’t teach them productive skills while you have them then ultimately it’s society’s problem to deal with the consequences.
The Oscarless Actress ok and did you choose your mother? Nope didn’t think so.
+Catie Quimby ...you have made a point of the Most Fundamental Mistake Our Prison System Makes....that is not having a Strong RE-EDUCATION PROGRAM, WHICH SHOULD BE MANDATORY & REQUIRE GRADING & Attaining A Level of Satisfactory Completion BEFORE RELEASING ANY INMATE, MALE OR FEMALE, BACK ONTO THE STREETS OR UNITED WITH THEIR CHILDREN!!
A College Level Education in:
Basic Business Skills such as Typing, Speedwriting & Transcribing. English Grammar, Vocabulary, Spelling. Basic Finance: Balancing a Check Book, Manual Bookkeeping, Bookkeeping Software Programs, Math, 10 Key Adding Machine. COMPUTER Skills, Computer Software, Spreadsheets, Graphs & Charts, WordProcessing, letter composition How to use a FAX MACHINE, COPIER EQUIPMENT, & other Office Equipment. BALANCING A HOUSEHOLD BUDGET!!! Savings & IRA Accounts.
S T R E T C H
T H E I R
M I N D S! Take away TV ...UNLESS it offers CLASSES LIKE COOKING, PARENTING SKILLS, CHILD EDUCATION, you get the PICTURE??? We pay enough to house & feed them .....TEACH THEM HOW TO DO THAT FOR THEMSELVES!! No Joke! !! Or you may as well throw away the key...& leave them there!!!
S King you are speaking facts. We need to do a better job at helping our inmates.
As a teacher, my heart broke in crumbled when he said, "I'm sort of getting used to the feeling of being hurt." I wish more teachers watched this documentary and understood their students. I wish more student teachers and trainee administrators watched this documentary before entering a school building, more less entering a classroom.
Thank you for being a teacher!!! I’ve made it to where I am today because of the help of some amazing teachers in my life.
@@javierlopeztapia5588 yes!
“Im getting used to the feel of getting hurt” no child should feel that way 😭 it broke my heart hearing him talk
Girl I started crying.
@@hm6134I
My wish, is the Moms, get out and stay out. So their children, have them home.
Maybe if they didn't commit a felony
Sandra Noisewater I think a lot of people forget that the moms have committed dangerous crimes, and may not be safe for the kids.
@@Donaldduckfan-mj8oj I think you're forgetting that being is prison doesn't mean you're a danger to your children. Running a scam can get you in prison, does that mean you're going to neglect your child? No, it doesn't. Please educate yourself before putting all inmates in the same basket.
Everyone forgets that prison inmates are people too. They just made some bad choices. That doesn’t negate their humanity or the fact that they have emotions and lives.
Yeah, some bad choices that have caused their children's depression, sorrow, heartbreak. There's no excuse for what they've done to their babies. They will have a hard time growing up
Ave Vee well if they killed someone I wouldn’t care if they’re feelings are hurt bc they killed a life.
@Alessia S. Well the prison system caused that not necessarily the parent’s actions
This girl I knew had 3 kids as a young adult one after the other. She left them with her mom to go clubbing and on her way back was in a head on crash. Several people died and she went to jail for a long time. She recently got out but has no relationship whatsoever with her kids. Sad thing is the kids had some trouble in their own lives. I think one was in jail a while ago.
We are made of choices. Some of the inmates are truly trapped, but some were not. Let's not minimise everything
Those kids seem so sweet. I am glad that the state was willing to put some money torwards a program like this. Hopefully there mothers end up rehabilitated and go able to back to number one job which is to be a mom.
Or we start fixing the system. and stop blaming women.
Katherine Hinz the Goverment did nothing, it is a group run by the church
Because they got a hug from their mom.
You can thank the CHRISTIANS who are running this Volunteer Organization...NOT the Govt.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I cried and I cried some more. The heartbroken children. I know no greater pain than this.... to be separated as a child from the woman who loved you first.
Jul ofDenial I cried as well it's so sad. The moms are separated by there child and to see them I'm sure they loved to see them but it was fun but then it wasn't because they had to leave.
I knew it I’m a phycopath I can’t feel anything!!!! I don’t even feel bad for myself ?
My dad was in prison 5 years ago... he missed my wedding my birthday the birth of my chil. He promised me he will change but he’s back there again. I give him chances but he keeps breaking my heart I’m starting to get used to it.
Write him off, and take care of your family!! He doesn't deserve you
The kids are so loving towards their mothers. More so than children who see their moms everyday
They miss them so much 😢
1:57 when they start singing the little einsteins theme song, it honestly brought me to tears how innocent they are and yet are still suffering because of their parent's decisions.
This broke my heart. I could never make a decision that would separate me from my children but I cant judge anyone. I know some people have a difficult life and difficult choices. God bless all these women and children.
Malu Espitia true facts 💗
So touching to see how accommodating and kind the workers are to the children.
I cried so much watching this. I feel so bad for those little kids. It made me realize how much I take advantage of my parents.
"getting used to the feeling of getting hurt.".... wow... hard to find words right now
6:44 “I’m kinda used to this stuff”
That is so sad that, that little boy is saying he’s getting used to getting hurt...That broke my heart 😔
“It was fun but it wasn’t fun” I feel exactly how the little boy feels. I used to go visit my moms with my grandma with the Get on the Bus program. I’m grateful we got the chance to see her every year. We went from Riverside to Dublin on a big bus and many pick ups for other families going with us ❤️❤️❤️ this brought so many tears to my eyes ❤️❤️
oh god. i just want to give that little boy a hug man😪
Mannn when that young man with the glasses cried. My heart hurt so bad. And the "im kinda getting used to the feeling hurt" hot me over here bawling like a baby
It hurts my heart to see kids have to go through experiences like this at such a young age. I wish all of them all the love in the world.
These kids practically have their lives stripped from them. I’m so unbelievably touched and hurt to see these kids spending some of their earliest memories going to a PRISON. It’s honestly not like we can have people stop crime, but it’s just so unfortunate for these precious, innocent children who could have so much undeniable potential but never be able to reach it due to the circumstances given to them. My prayers are with everybody who doesn’t receive as much love and support as they deserve, and I hope to be able to foster/adopt as many children as possible as an adult
4:06 the child not making an effort to talk to his mother... that hit home
The distance grew in their hearts 🥺
when the boy said “I’m kind of used to getting hurt” I lost it, no kid that young should ever have to say that💔
"Im used to the feel of getting hurt" said that wonderful amazing young boy. No child should ever be uded to getting hurt. This broke my heart and I hope and pray that that mom when she gets out learns from her son words and never goes back to jail God bless that child and all the children in this video.
I can probably say with certainty that I stand on the opposite side of the NYT with regard to every issue, aside for this. Prison is a terrible place, it causes nothing good. It should only be used to keep dangerous people off the streets. Non violent drug offenses should be treated for addiction and rehab etc, white collar crime should have monetary consequences. Prisons should be used as a last resort.
David Williams yes I agree, therefore we should be treating it as such. Not by incarceration, but by rehabilitation and healing.
Hampdood America spends more money on prisoners than the education system
David Williams How do you know there's no hope for rehabilitation and healing for these women?
David Williams Just so. If you want somebody to not be perpetual perpetrators, you do not threaten them with stricter sanctions, you try to address the root of the problem which causes such truancy in the first place. Not everything boils down to selfishness, and to believe that the society around an individual is not, in some part, responsible for truant behaviour is naive. Also, as I explained before, exiling anyone from society in one stroke only risks making society more homogenous, which is biologically unsafe. The more humane approach is to try to understand and if possible, help the perpetrators, as much as the victims. This still gives them a chance to be included in society.
David Williams "The overwhelming majority are repeat offenders". Can I ask how you're so sure of that?
I can't even begin to imagine the heartbreak of these beautiful kids having to say goodbye to their Moms after watching the utter joy they all had at the beginning. I just pray with all my heart that the kids have loving/compassionate homes to return to, where loving arms embrace them and help them work through all the issues that come with this type of situation.
This is such amazing coverage - everything is so real, candid and in-the-moment. Great journalism, as usual.
Some men are so angry and violent because all they wanted was a mother’s love, comfort, and guidance.
Sending all my love to these kids. You are loved❤️
Would be interesting to know why the mothers are incarcerated. Victimless crimes? Couldn't afford a good lawyer? The one young boy noted his mother had been incarcerated before.
Beth Grant-DeRoos there is no such thing as a victimless crime. Either they hurt someone is the process of committing a crime, they hurt themselves or there family after the crime. So don't tell me there is a victimless crime. Let see your response will be selling drugs is a victimless crime, yeah ask the family members of people who overdoses if it's victimless. If you cannot do the time, don't do the crime. No one should have one ounce of sympathy for these woman or their children.
Edmund Dobry Edmund Dobry I agree with the no victimless crime, but how can you have no sympathy for their children? The children didn’t choose to be in this circumstance, but they still have to deal with it. It’s awful.
floatingonclouds684 because their own mothers put them in that position. It's unfortunate that this has become a regular problem in American society, but people still trying to find the easy way through life instead of hard work and family. There is nothing in this world that should be so bad that a mother jeopardize her position with her children. These children have no one to blame but their mothers.
Edmund Dobry what about the single young black male who doesn’t have any kids and was using drugs by himself and was arrested for that? Who was the victim in that crime?
_-Delaware Scrap-_ first of all what does race have to do with anything? It's already public information, that the number of blacks men imprisoned has been dropping steadily for the last few years. So how you interject race into a conversation where it wasn't brought up. Anyway this young black man is buying drugs from another man who most likely has sold drugs to someone who has overdosed at some point. He has sold drugs to someone's mom or dad, and this drug habit has brought the users family down. Yet this young black man is supporting this dealer who hurts people, by buying his drugs. Just because this black man doesn't actually hurt someone directly, he indirectly hurts so many people he isn't even aware of it. Lastly, if he is a young black man, he isn't the mother in prison, which is what the doco is about.
Poor babies
This is such a powerful piece of media. Truly broke my heart. Everyone deserves to know their mother.
Mass incarceration is killing families, especially those of color. My heart breaks for these children.
David Williams David Williams The vast majority of incarceration are for drug crimes. But whatever you want to believe I suppose...
David Williams swiss person here. We had a heroin epidemic in the 80s and 90s. What Switzerland did: provide sterilized needles, so people wouldn't get infected with HIV, provide free counseling, providing them safe spaces to do their thing. My country basically tried to offer them an alternative route. Many addicts actually took the route of rehabilitation, even though Switzerland offered them new needles and such. Within a short time, the heroin use went 80% down. Now we don't have heroin problems anymore; of course, there are always a few individuals you can't save. But i consider it a huge success. Most people want a stable, loving life and out of desperation and weakness of mind turn to drugs. Most of them don't do it out of maliciousness. If you offer people a different way to live life with a different environment and encouragement (don't make them feel like they are the villain), many will want to take the possibility
Those crimes hurt these children so much. Drug related or not.
Omfg stop victimizing black people.
Drug crimes hurt lots of people sometimes it hurts the family just as much to lock the parents away but don't do the crime if you can't do the time. Drugs are not a victimless crime. Sorry not sorry
“I’m kinda getting used to the feeling of being hurt” baby no you aren’t please don’t hide it in yourself
Prison for profit is slavery ..non violent crimes ..and moving people out of state away from family is abuse..long sentences for minimal crime is also wrong..life w/o for one crime is also crazy..
@Kekistan Shitlord I mean you can get life imprisonment for one crime so that is true
Omg The little boy at the end had my crying so hard. These poor kids.
Omg I’m crying . As soon as big bro started crying and the younger asked if he was sad … too much just too much
Dang this literally brought me to tears
julie espinosa my heart goes out to these families and anyone who’s been or is going through stuff like this 💗✊
2:32 i can just tell by his breathing and his face that he is so scared to see his mom thinking what will happen. Ik that I can't feel the same way but I feel really sorry for that kid and how much he's been through it makes me wanna cry.
Kid: “I’m kinda sorta used to the feel of getting hurt”
Me: “omg 😭😭😭😭”
My heart hurt when he said im kinda used to this stuff
When those two brothers were crying it broke my heart
6:55 oh sweet baby life is much more than what you are living at the moment. I lived it too with my father in prison. Learn from everything and make your own journey. Don’t let this damage who you are.
This is what my mother day was for 3 years
Sorry. I hope your mom stayed out, once released.
"I'm kinda getting used to the feeling of getting hurt..." a statement that should never come out of the mouth of children. God bless these children and the struggles they deal with when their mom or dad is behind bars.
Omg these poor kids ... the suffering and sadness in their eyes ... my heart hurts for them ... sucks ...my heart goes out to them and the mothers
De que parte de zacatecas eres?
The young man in this video is so articulate and so mature for his age. I feel so sad for these children, their hearts are hurting. ☹️
such innocent souls to have to deal with their mothers problems
The maturity of the kids in this video is an amazing thing to see because they’re definitely more mature for their age *BUT THEN* it’s also so heartbreaking because there ARE DEFINITELY kids out there who are wise beyond their years but in this case it’s because they’ve been forced to become more mature. I talk a lot BUT THIS got me right in the feels where I feel like I don’t even know how to talk anymore!!! 😥💔😭
5:36 man I cried too this is so emotional 😭
I remember my mom spending time in prison for a year and that was so hard for me when I was younger because every time I used to get letters and calls from her I just missed her so much. She past away when I was 10 years old from a drug and alcohol addiction and I’m 20 now and it’s still very hard for me but I know she watches over me everyday and is proud of the women I grew up to be and still and growing up to be. I love you mom ❤️❤️❤️
My heart is broken as a mother seeing that young boy cry for his mother killed me inside 😪 I love my daughter and son till death do us part
Bless all these children with love and light. I hope and pray for a happy future for all of them.
This just broke my heart. I’m praying for all the families involved
May these kids be blessed with a path that does not include crime, may they heal from these life altering experiences.
I cried these poor kids i could never imagine not inlynot living with my ma but knowing that she is a criminal
My heart melted seeing this kids getting reunited with their parents that was actually great specially during 4:37
what's really sad about this whole thing is that some of those mothers are gonna go back once they get out
My heart hurts for the child at 3:02. He’s so sensitive and impressionable. His mother seems like she feels guilty for being incarcerated but that’s about it. Her children are suffering and they can feel her indifference. It’s hard to see her older son struggling with the feeling of defeat. He’s speechless. Also, the first child in the video is incredibly intelligent. I’ve been an early educator for children in gifted programs for many years.. He’s got some of the highest literary comprehension and competency skills I’ve seen in a child his age. I wish him the best because this journey will be more difficult for a child who has a higher understanding of his emotional state.
this made me cry so much. took me back to when i was little and visiting my mother. she was absent most of my childhood, if not incarcerated she was being neglectful. people dont realize how much it messes you up to have a parent in prison, especially your mother. after my mother came home from prison the second time, our relationship was never the same.
I feel so bad for the mommy ! At 5:48 she definitely wanted to talk to him
6:42 _"I'm kind of used to this stuff becuz she's been to jail before & also my dad left me when I was 3 and he died when I was 9 so it's like I'm sort of kind of getting used to the feel of like getting hurt..."_
We NEVER get used to the feeling of getting hurt. Praise that young man. He's intelligent, articulate & mature for his age. I wish him the best. I hope his wisdom guides himself to happiness.
I almost cried when they were leaving
“i’m used to the feel of getting hurt” omg that’s so sad poor babies🥺
"I'm kinda used to the feel of getting hurt."
- Young child
My heart: **Snapped**
This broke my heart.. As a mother I can’t imagine to see my child in pain and nothing I can do about it.
He sounds so grown for his age, so sad..😔
The experience could never be forgotten.That was something you could never let go of. Pain keeps coming back
I literally remember having to do the same thing to see my mom! This breaks my heart! I hated having to wait to see my mom.
"I'm kinda used being hurt " that child's words pierced my heart 😭😭😭😭
He said "I'm getting used to the feeling of getting hurt" omg 😭😭
"My mom has been to jail before my dad left me when I was 3 and died when I was 9 so I'm kind of getting used to the feeling of being hurt." having a kid saying all these is heart-breaking. they are so much stronger than some and if they grow up getting intro trouble, you know you should give these kids a break because life definitely has not given them much break since they were young.
My mom is Ima jail for being from Mexico I miss her so much 😭😭 I can’t longer pretend to be fine when I’m dying inside 😭😭😭
What do you mean in jail for being from Mexico?
"I'm sorta, kinda getting used to the feel of getting hurt" No child should know what that feels like. Broke my heart. I pray someone teaches him to do better, to break the cycle.
When he said "im kinda used to being hurt" i cracked and i can relate very much. I am used to it thats why i am mute now
Broke my heart when the baby said he's getting use to getting hurt. 😭poor baby
How could u wind up in prison if u were taking care of your child correctly? You need to think of your kid first and foremost instead of the drugs or crime u want to commit..it's hard raising a child by urself but it ur responsibility..
I ALWAYS think about my kids when I watch these kid's breaks my heart 💔😢 Lord I pray for each everyone of them touch there heart's and fill the void in these poor babies 🙏🙏🙏
I think it's safe to say that the women here know they did something wrong and now they have to pay for it. We don't know their individual circumstances or what crimes they have commited to be here but they do deserve to endure the punishment. But let's be decent human beings and recognize when other human beings feel deep regret, pain, and sadness - most especially that of the innocent children who must suffer for their parent's actions.
When he said... I couldn't help but give him kisses through the screen with tears in my eyes...I hope you are in a better place now.
I started tearing up. I can feel the sadness of the mothers 😭😣
Lorena Vlogs oh my god! HOW ABOUT THE KIDS?!?!?
ok but the kid who was crying and acted tough and ok when his mom looked at him literally broke my heart. he put his glasses back on, stopped crying and clenched his jaw shut. poor kid
When parents of children are in prison, it is a shock for these children.
I hope that poor child finds happiness, structure and love. Breaks my heart to think that pain Is acceptable from such a young heart
Ok, this definitely isn't saying "Oh, look at these poor mothers who cant see their children!" or really even "Look at these poor children who cant see their mothers!" its saying "Don't be the mother who has to miss their child growing up because of a (probably) dumb crime." Or at least, that's how I see it. As a warning.
not always that simple
It's never that simple it isnt hey I'll rob a grocery store because it's fun, it's my child is hungry and I cant find a job that makes enough money to support pr many of other things , some people dont have family connections or any friends and there alone to fend for themselves with children , but the way the sytsme is setup it's made so that your chances of getting out and connecting with society is incredibly difficult
@@sueblank6065 you always have a choice no matter the circumstances. These women knew what could possibly happen but didn't once think about the pain they could cause their children by doing what they've done. Horrible women
I could not stop cryin when this lil boy said “I’m used to gettin hurt”
So young and been through so much
Poor kids 😭 they need their mama
Boy boy my heart breaks 🥺when I see these children going through this
Omg you don't deserve to be use to that SWEET BABY😢😢😢😢
It's really not fair to get used to a feeling of not getting hurt... am so sorry for all the children who go through this situation.... God will be there to give you the strength 🙂
7:00 this is so sad): he shouldn’t be getting used to that feeling at 9😢