Some of the things that really annoy me, are when people say we don't have "emotions" and that "we lack empathy" but It isn't true, we do have feelings.
I guess the problem is, that we function different. If they interact, one person feels something and if another person is emotional connected, the other person instantly feels the same, without any thought or mental action. What Professionals or most people do, they watch the outside and describe it. In Science this might be a good option, if you research physics or so, but what they don't do, they don't include those into their research, who could tell them the inside perspective. I guess that is a result of expecting same functionality of us like them, before they want accept our co-research. (sorry, no native speaker).
We're not antisocial. We sometimes like to be alone, yes, but don't like to "feel" alone. That drives many of us to seek social situations deliberately. But since social interaction is difficult, overstimulating and exhausting, we have trouble finding tolerant crowds to hang out with. It's why we often develop unconventional friendships, too (age disparities, or exclusively of the opposite sex) -- we'll befriend whoever relates to us, understands us, makes us comfortable. We're not antisocial.
I would say we are choosy. Which isn't a bad thing in my opinion and I think a lot of Nerotypicals could even agree. We like stable people who are not likely to do anything drastic or reckless. Calm and mellow.
When I first met my boyfriend he didn’t tell me he was autistic. I was very attracted to his intellect and unique sense of humor, and it wasn’t until months into our friendship that he told me about his autism. It never occurred to me that he was different aside from a few little social quirks, and he said the biggest giveaway was his unnatural tendencies with eye contact, but funnily enough I greatly struggle with even just meeting people’s eyes so I never even noticed his eye contact tendencies. As I got to know him further I found that he has a very unique sense of rationalism, a wonderful sense of sarcasm, and deep, profound emotions. Now I’m proud to call him my boyfriend. When you really take the the time to know a person with autism, you’ll find that they are not disabled, but simply wired to think and feel differently, and it has been a wonderful thing for me and my boyfriend to learn and grow together. Edit: one year later we’re still together and happy. I’d like to clarify that when he talks about his autism, he makes it clear that he really does feel disabled. But in getting to know him I never saw his autism as a disability or something that hinders him.
But we are disabled. Disabled is not a bad word and EVERYONE need to understand that. Just because you don’t perceive an individual as disabled does not mean autistic people are not disabled.
very interesting thx for your post. I made a new friend (really like him) and he has Aspergers. So wanted to understand more. He's so intelligent and impressive. WOW
Yeah the eye contact is a big one, for me holding eye contact feels like holding a difficult yoga pose. If it's anxiety, I may have almost no eye contact but when casual and connecting, the eye contact still remains difficult like holding a heavy weight. Often zero thoughts or concerns about the case of difficulty with eye contact, it's more inherent sensitivity like touching something too hot and immediately pulling the hand away.
I’m really happy for you guys. I have faced a similar situation but unfortunately I had to leave the relationship. Some aspies can be very unrealistic and extremely rigid and pedantic about things that makes it so hard to function.
I've been living with AS for 61 years now and I'm still here much to my own surprise . the best way to describe it is feeling like a small child trapped inside an adult body and you never really wanted to be an adult in the first place. I really enjoy being alone, except that I'm not alone as I have many dogs and cats which are far better company than any humans could ever be
I too feel the same way.. Im 55 and have klinefelters as well as finding out the symptoms of Aspergers.. Ive had problems my entire life dealing with people but now prefer being alone.. Id be perfectly happy livjng in a van moving from ine place to another with nobody to change my plans. Does that make any sense.I hope im not bothering you with my comment.
I apologize but I want to vent my frustration. I am 39yo male married with three great kids. I have always been different from everyone else and felt outcast most times especially growing up and in school. In April of this year I started researching AS because a friend of my wife has a child with AS and told her that our four year old son has AS. I have noticed that as my son grows he is acting exactly as I did his age when it comes to certain actions, obsessions etc. Some really stand out more than others. He is also very intelligent and active much as I was. So I started looking into AS and it has been a mind blowing experience. Nearly everything that I have researched including this video is not only my son but myself as well. Over the last few months I have come to terms with this and realize the pros and cons. It is refreshing to finally have a reason to know why I am the way I am. But even though it has really helped me grow in my career and side business and everything that I do the I have to say that the social aspect of it really sucks. I mean really really sucks. I wish I could feel what its like to have a normal prolonged conversation and interaction with people for a day. I also wish I would have known much earlier that I have AS thinking maybe I wouldn't have been so hard on myself and self forgiving of my actions. Anyway sorry for the rant.
Why not go and get tested before you make yourself more worried. What if you have it? Then you can seek proper treatment. What if you don't have it? Then you can find a councilor who can help you in social situations. As for your son, if he is in school you can speak to someone on the child study team at his school. Most likely he can be tested for it for free. You would have to initiate that conversation however. Good luck and please seek out assistance sooner than later.
My experience is much the same. I'm 35 and just got diagnosed. Happily married with 2 kids. I also got diagnosed with ADHD, after both my boys got diagnosed with it as well. My poor wife!...
Hi there. Thanks for your post. I am what's known as "normal"" . I am super happy being married for 20 years to AS we have a daughter AS. I wouldn't trade them for a world. I wish sometime I were born with AS. They are pure hearts and beautiful souls. Thx
Hi, I know it has been 2 years since your comment, but I would like to add mine that is so so so similar to yours. I have just turned 40. I am a woman from Europe and English is not my native language, so please forgive my possible mistakes. I am married and have two young children aged almost 6 and 8. They are healthy. I have always known I was different than other people. I was even bullied at school even though I had no idea why. Kids could just sense I was the "strange" child. I did very well at school, I played the piano and I read a lot. I was the quiet girl often praised by teachers for good behavior. But kids did not like me too much. When I was at high school, I changed my school and my new classmates were much better. I never experienced being bullied again. I even had lots of friends. With puberty, I became more self-confident, more outgoing and sociable. But I still felt I was different in many aspects. But people (including myself) thought I was just a bit more into books, a bit more thinking about things, a bit more interested in special topics. Then I went to university and my new schoolmates were okay, but again, I did not have many friends. I had one good friend, though, and he was a guy. Just a friend, nothing more. I found out that I got along better with men than with women. Men do not talk as much as women do, and that is what I like. I don´t like talking too much, I have always prefered writing. I got married, had the two above mentioned children, a nice house, two cars... everything you can dream of. Then I came across a video about Asperger´s. And suddenly it all clicked. I was watching a video about myself! So I started searching the net, more videos, more articles and I have also taken many many many online tests on Asperger´s. And all of them told me I was an Aspie. So I went to a specialist and yes, after serveral months of testing, she told me the same diagnosis! Only a year ago, I had no idea. And now I know the answer to all of my questions. I know why I am different, why I can´t keep friends, why I don´t like social chit chat, why I don´t direct sunshine on my face, loud noises, being touched and the look at the texture of bread (yes, I hate that). And I am happy now. Now I know that I am not a worse person than other people. My brain is just wired differently, but I am not worse. I may not be able to cope with some things, but I may be better at many things others "healthy" people aren´t. And I perceive it as a blessing. God bless you too.
I think I'm in the same boat and I've somehow repressed it. I've always felt alien, since school. I feel like I've spent my life watching people and learning how they act. I've desperately put on a facade of normalcy that I continued through very unhealthy habits like alcoholism in order to dull myself. It seems like my friends don't even notice anything, but in hindsight it's because I've been trying so fucking hard to be "normal" my whole life. I've been telling myself for 20 years that this is some kind of phase I'll grow out of. That I'm just immature. But I've come to realise I do not act naturally in any way. Even in school, I was never learning things in totality for exams. I learned what teachers wanted from me and I was good at giving it to them. I studied the day before every exam and scored ~75 for most subjects because I felt obligated. It's just memory and pattern recognition. There are 5 marks for a question, create 5 logically consistent points in my answer using the information I DO have. It's like I have to manually process social interactions, and I feel like a mirror who's just showing people what they want to see.
Hi. I’m a Doctor in Psychology. I’ve worked with people within the autism spectrum / high functioning (prior aspergers ) In my experience it’s not a syndrome, meaning there’s something wrong with them.They are not sick. Their brain is wired different. I found them much more empathetic, with wonderful human values and fun to be with. I rather be with an aspie, than with neurotypicals.
It is a neurological disorder. I hope you are lying about being a psychologist, I have Asperger's Syndrome and it is a very difficult condition to deal with on the daily. If you cannot see that then it is WORRYING that you are treating your patients with that mindset.
A syndrome is a collection of disorders, and, as such, the presence or absence of a specific disorder within the syndrome and the degree to which it interferes with the lives of its sufferers depends upon the individual. Asperger's by definition IS a syndrome because it is a cluster of varied problems. It IS a syndrome.
@@folieadeux9551 But I was diagnosed with it by one Psychiatrist, and then it was proven wrong by four others. You may indeed have it, but it and mild bipolar are BOTH often misdiagnosed. Psychiatry is a big money maker!!
@@JeanetteFaith I was misdiagnosed with borderline disorder, to later in life being told I actually am autistic. Psychiatry is a big money maker indeed.
My son has Asperger's and 99% of these describe my son. He was diagnosed very early and had help at school from 5 years old. His high school had a communication support base where he went from 11-17 and he is now nearly 24 with a computer science degree. Kids deserve the best education and support they can get, no matter what difficulties they may have.
@@leearzo8711 Go to a psychologist or social worker. They can diagnose it. But do it. Aspies can excel when they have the support and understanding they need. They can also be taught to read some body language and facial expressions, which helps enormously in daily contact with others.
To me it's neurotypicals who seem odd, constantly obfuscating their conversations and lying without apparently realizing it. I would prefer if they were honest and straightforward.
Exactly. i have been questioning the 'disability' term all my life...this..aint that...we are Not Disabled. We are the Opposite of Disabled..we are Very Abled....to the point it scares most 'normal' people.
owen shipp i can understand that when i do anything that's art i feel like myself. I was told it's because it's what i enjoy so i should continue it and never care if someone else doesn't like my work. P.s. i would love to hear you play i love the sound of a guitar
Do you; 1. Have very few/no friends 2. Enjoy time alone 3. Become overstimulated easily (noises/sounds) 4. Enjoy being with animals (sometimes more so than humans) 5. Have a creative outlet 6. Enjoy learning 7. Suffer from bouts of anxiety/depression 8. Exercise solo (running, cycling etc.) 9. Wish you could interact freely with people 10. Do you know how awesome you are Then yes.
Yes, overstimulated by 3d motions graph and epileptic inducing videos.... But i'm depressed, I'm faking my happiness honestly, i'm not that good and smart, and i suffer many abuse and trauma....
Am not anti social but I don't like to hang out with people but if they hang out with me it's ok for me but there are some on my list I recognize as worth of my attention so am I ...?
I hate admitting I have Asperger's syndrome. Nothing has come good from it. I have been bullied from it most of my life. Well ever since the early years of primary school. From that point on I have suffered from bullying all the way up to now. I am now 18 and in my final year of school. How I have lasted this long is completely beyond me. There have been times when things have gotten that bad and I have been treated like shit from a lot of people all my life that I just wanted to end it all. People with Asperger's syndrome seem to go through life harder than others. Sure everyone can go through tough times but it just seems harder on our end trying to move through life.
I had asbergers but my family kept it a secret from me and told the doctor not to make the diagnosis official because they were worried about me being labeled. Well... I was labeled anyways. Everyone knew something was different about me, -I- knew something was different about me, they just didn't have a name to put to it so they called me stupid instead. While telling people doesn't help... I think understanding why you are that way does. Other people don't need to know. The diagnosis is there to help you not them. I didn't get my real diagnosis until I was 26 after I became depressed, anxious and suicidal. It's not diagnosed as asbergers anymore so now I'm diagnosed as autistic. I know it never would have fixed the hard times but I think that getting the therapies and professional help would have made my life a lot easier. But I can't fix that. All I can do is get therapy now so I can make myself more employable.
i have asbergers in addition to ptsd, from child abuse. here is my advice. im 26. start your own business ASAP or you will be miserable. adulthood is no easier. i have a small lawn care business and im thinking about getting a food car. some thing simple that you cant get fired from, and u can control the type of people who u have to work with.
The ‘one sided conversation’ thing really bothers me, when I’m talking to somone I try to talk about them and then they try to talk about me and it really makes me feel uncomfortable.
In my 30's I started experimenting by making sure I asked more questions than made statements. It took a lot of discipline but, with practice, conversations became more productive. It also helps that you have some time to watch others facial expressions and try to match them to what they are saying. Most of my adult social life has been about inventing little social experiments and see if the results match my predictions. I have mentioned this to NT friends and they mostly think it's funny (in an endearing way).
@@chriswilliams1096 I can relate to the experiments you pursued in social situations. I learned to do the same thing, by asking questions and listening whereas before I would carry on with my topics of interest. However, I find it harder to maintain focus on the flow of the conversation which is impacting my relationship with my wife and daughter. It's a lifelong process to be sure. Thanks for sharing your thoughts 👍
@@edgemadefoxe367 Same, I'm almost always the one who gets caught on the receiving end of a one-sided conversation. It's quite frustrating at times. I try to contribute to the conversation but I usually just get talked over or interrupted.
I remeber as a kid i was diagnosed with aspergers. The reason the doctors wanted me tested was that i would almost never listen to what my parents said, and i often misunderstood things. So they took me to get a hearing test, which i got a perfect score on. Then when the doctors asked about it 4 year old just said "I just don't want to listen." My dad was really stressed out and angry about it, so he decided to lock me in a dark room to "Reprimand the aspergers out of me" Which of course didn't work at all. My mom ended up convincing him it wasn't something to get so worked up about. I used to really like dinosaurs as a kid, and i don't mean the usual "So cool, big monster!" kind of way most kids did. Instead I would spend hours rewatching the same dino documentaries over and over again, memorizing every fact they contained, i remember once when i lost one of my favorite dinosaur toys. I had a mental breakdown and cried for several hours, my mom (the most understanding person on earth) managed to get me into thinking that another dino toy at the store was the same one, which finally stopped my crying. For the first 6 years of my life i wasn't really that different, i mean i would get worked up about unusual things and would start crying whenever i was even mildly frustrated. But i wasn't too different. Then school came, it started out fine, but i started getting made fun of by one of my classmates. He started as my friend, the kind of friend you don't really talk too outside of at lunch or when you're in the same group, but still a friend nonetheless. But this friend had ADHD, and he really struggled with attention during class, so he started doing things to distract him. Like throwing pencils, using the blunt side of scizzors to make me think he cut my hair, and hitting my cap of off my head. I kind of feel bad for him, his parents got divoced right as we really started to get into school (The swedish school system gives kids a "0th" grade to get used to getting up at a certain time and to do simple work, and this was right as "0th" grade ended) We still go too the same school, but we have a pretty big class, and we're in different groups. He almost completely stopped these things when we got our new maths and english teacher, she's been extremely understanding and helpful towards any student who struggles with anything. Although i personally believe that i have been able to work it out of my system, i still struggle with socializing. And i think because of the fact that nobody really knows that i have a reason for it, they just kind of assume i try to be weird and annoying. So most people in my class really don't like. They don't hate me. I very often hear people talking about me, thinking i can't hear, i often have people assume that i am staring at them when i zone out, or intentionally do things like bumping or stepping on the heel of their shoe. But i don't mean to do it, i just struggle with reading movements or knowing where to place my eyes. And this means that most of my class (excluding my friend group) just think i'm a jerk. I wish i was brave enough to tell this story to other people, but I'm not. My Anxiety and deppression aren't that serious, but i don't think i'm doing too well either. The simplest way i can explain aspergers is that you're playing a game with the controls changed, but without you knowing where their mapped. So just kinda press all of them until you find the right one, but sometimes you click one that does the complete opposite of what you want to do. Sorry about the text being so unorganized and whiny, but i really just couldn't stop writing when i finnally found a way to talk about it without actually talking to someone. Update: I have a massive friend group of super supportive and nice friends who all started to understand me (weirdly enough, they understand me better tha my mom does.) and the amazing teacher has made a majority of all students understand that kids with ADHD or aspergers don’t intentionally do weird or dumb stuff, its motstöt just misunderstandings or stress.
In an oddly normal kind of way...talking to strangers can be more refreshing/almost enlightening than talking to loved ones...for the very reason they don't know you. It's really weird...but not lol. Funny ironic kindof weird
Yeah, I hear you. I had to practice socializing - I mean, it’s easy to do when one is a kid, but it just gets harder and harder as one becomes an adult. I still don’t have it figured out. My friend says, “You seem extroverted to me!” But the truth of it is, I pretend like I am in a play. I try to emulate how others are, and I have had to study how people get through a conversation with others. I don’t have any problem with my own family members, they all know me and I know them, so I can be how I naturally am. But when interacting with others, it’s not easy at all, and afterwards I feel so full of anxiety.
Thank you for letting your feelings be known. I think this will help me better understand and interact with my grandson who has aspergers. I wish you well.
Glad you're doing alright now! It's sad you had to go trough a lot of stuff and i think you described it pretty well so take this big fat *W* and i hope you will continue doing good and i also wish the best to your friend with ADHD! Have an amazing year
I hate having Asperger, it has been nothing but a curse to me. The school's psychologist detected "anomalies" in me as far back as when I was 4 years old, but I never did the test until 21 years later, which yielded positive. Because of how people have treated me throughout my life I've come to develop a huge mistrust of everyone and everything - my "fight or flight" sense goes off with literally anybody that speaks to me. It's also one of the reasons, along with noise, why I've come to hate cities, seeing them more as human hives than anything. Luckily I live in a small rural town.
For the majority of my life i felt there's something wrong with me and i needed to change. Then i realised i'm an Aspie and something clicked. Now i can accept me for who i am. There are benefits of being Asperger too, you know.
The part where he mention friendships really hit me personally, because I have the syndrome and have always suffered with friendship issues. I remember in primary school having a stage in my life where I had no one to play with during recess or lunch, and so I would talk to whatever teachers where on yard duty. This went to the point where I had a closer bond to the teachers rather then my actual peers. I also began to memorise which teachers were on yard duty and when, considering that not all teachers were ones that I was willing to talk to because I didn’t have a pre-existing bond to them. I would also hate working in groups, because I would always feel like an outcast and none of my ideas would ever go through as I had a different way of thinking opposed to everyone else. I am also very opinionated on almost everything I think, so that didn’t get me any popularity points. I was also a firm and open christian, which also had the same affect (primary school kids are mean). Eventually I got back into a social group and was able to enjoy my last year of primary school (year 7).
Well I'm sorry you have to struggle with that. But I'm so glad you believe in Jesus!!!! He made you just as you are for a reason. You can help others!!! Maybe you should look for a support group who has the same disorder. God bless and thank you for sharing!
I'm 34 & have just recently learned that I have Aspergers. It has explained so much & has kind of given me a new lease on life. All of the things I felt so self-conscious about & all of the things that made me feel like I was failing as an "average" person, they can all be attributed to asperger's. So the fact that I am a nurse, a Mother, a loving wife & the few close relationships I have are all blessings. I wish people knew more about people like me - that people with Asperger's are really just normal people with a different perspective. We are highly sensitive, which can be STRENGTHS. I need to get on with it & make my videos about my experience with aspergers. Thanks for posting this. It will be very helpful for my family to see it simply explained.
Angela Walden But how do you have all that when Aspergers patients are socially awkward to start or keep relationships in the first place? Let alone getting married or having and raising children.
I think sensitivity is a gift as well. Unfortunately many people would make fun of my sensitivity and be told that I couldn’t just cry whenever I got yelled at. My sister asked me what would I do when my boss yelled at me. I asked her why would they yell at me. Seems like a strange example.
I had a friend in school who had what I now know to be Asperger's Syndrome. To his friends and acquaintances he was a bit "odd", very clever, a mine of information on the weirdest topics (but couldn't tell you how to do scrambled eggs), honest, easily fooled, helpful when he could, inoffensive, vulnerable and was very popular but mostly within our circle. The lecturer here associated the condition with "learning difficulties" but I have met many with the condition and all are high achievers in the academic field. Thank you for your post. Good to hear from someone on "the inside". It seems to be a more rare condition among girls/women than among boys/men.
"Tend to talk about themselves." Yes. I myself (see, there it is) thought for years that's how a conversation is. Every single person I ever spoke to only ever talked about themselves or how the world related to them. When other people told me this wasn't the case, and I would quote the person in question, the person speaking to me about the other would say, "See, he was talking about this or that." And it STILL sounded like the person was talking about his or herself. Honestly, I still see and hear people talking about themselves. It takes a long time for me to go through all the possibilities and I often end up with, "This person is talking about himself."
***** I've had to explain it several times. Almost every time I am told that people don't always talk about themselves. But I have never heard anyone not talk about something that is of import to them. Even the news (every single news service) only reports on things important to those in that particular news service.
You see, everybody always talks about themselves. The difference here is that a "normal" person will never truly accept it or admit it because it's frowned upon in our society and we have been brainwashed to think it's selfish and bad. What is selfishness anyway? Aren't we supposed to be selfish? I guess I must have Aspergers then. Don't worry pal, you're actually smarter than those who are socially acceptable. Your Aspergers is a gift and your greatest strength.
Exactly! I don't get it, seems like everyone else can talk and express their thoughts and feelings, yet when I do it for some reason it's not appropriate? Everyone else gets an opinion but me? I think it's just because my values are so different from most people's... I don't care about celebrities, sports, luxury toys, a girls weekend wine trip, kids, god crap, eating meat... If someone brings up the weather, I talk about the anthropocene. I despise small talk and always seem to gravitate towards "what you're not supposed to talk about".. Politics (I'm progressive) religion (I'm atheist), science - especially climate science right now, justice/activism, veganism, green energy and environmental conservation... I like discussing *ideas* rather than engaging in what I consider superficial chatter. And look, I get it, most people aren't interested in what I'm interested in, or at least certainly not to the same degree.
I have AS and I have a lot of trouble talking about other people, so what I do is I try to find out what they like, and talk about what I personally know about the subject. If I run out of stuff to talk about there, I bring up another subject that might be related, and see if they know anything about that. It's kinda like talking to an NPC in a video game, where I choose different dialogue options and once they're exhausted I bring up another one.
There is help; it's expensive. I was diagnosed in my late 20's. I live in southern California and UCLA medical has a great diagnostic program. I had to write a time line of my life from as far back as I could remember: school, work, social life, personal life experiences. There were 3 days of testing from specialists. The final segment was either parent (my mother) coming in for her own private interview about my childhood; milestones, behaviors, etc. It took over a month and the cost was 5,000 dollars; my insurance did pay for half. But now I have a diagnosis as well as continuing treatment from the specialists at UCLA. It's like anything else. If you really want to do it, it is available, but you're going to have to pay or it.
Agree! Getting a definitive diagnosis does nothing because there is no support system in this country for aspies. They are ignored and their very real struggles are dismissed.
Amanda Arteno , my son is living in his own in subsidized housing but he has a lot of support from his Dad and me. I don’t believe he could do it without someone and wish there were group homes for Aspies. We worry what will happen to him and will he be a burden to his sisters.
I have never been diagnosed with Asperger's, but I've always struggled with many stages in my life. I'm no psychologist, so I won't go as far as saying I have this disorder. But mostly everything on that board applies to me and it definitely answers a lot of questions why I do things or say things the way I do.
With the gradual using of dr imenherbal recommendation for autism , whom I met on UA-cam , my son is totally free from autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he now respond to orders and act right . Thank you Dr imenherbal for your help
living with asperger's has been difficult for me and this Dr imenherbal I meet on channel makes me feel great that someone knows what my life is like ...
The awkward standing / not knowing what to do with your hands really hit home for me. Also the small talk problem, and not knowing when a conversation should end. For many years I have been treated for social anxiety but my new therapist suggested it could be Aspergers. Thank you very much for the video.
Yeah, the same with me😅😂 I think only with logic without taking into account emotions. Don't know how to start small talk. How people communicate fells fake and weird, for example, laughing at joke if it isn't funny, so it wouldn't be awkward. I catch my self saying insensitive things, because I go straight to logical thinking and problem fixing without sympathy. Don't know how and when to show sympathy and empathy. I can't explain how I fell, foreign felling to me😅 Interested into details and how everything works and is put to gather. Can't even by vacuum cleaner without days off research😂 Don't show emotions on my face, don't really how much or know how😅IQ is above average 120-130 +- by internet tests. Depression is a thing but I keep it under control. Don't know why I have friends, because I don't ever call just to chat or see how someone is doing. I hope it is just Asperger. Hopefully I'm not a sociopath😅😂
I was diagnosed with a mild form of it when I was 14. I'm 23 now and I feel very strongly towards never having had it in the first place. There was definitely a point in my life where a combination of social anxiety, lack of social skills and just plain being a a weird and awkward teen could make people draw the conclusion that I suffer from that syndrome, but the me of today contrasts the 14 year old me in so many ways that I just think I must have been wrongly diagnosed.
Woah!! I'm 14 right now (male) and think I have AS, but I sound exactly like what you were describing your 14 year old self as - social anxiety, awkwardness, lack of social skills. I'm very confused if I have it or not now. Did you overcome it or did it just go away (social awkwardness)? Please help.
Well you should know yourself better than anyone else. I had a learning disability at as a 5 year old kid. School was sometimes difficult for me. College was very difficult. Several years ago I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. I'm 47 years old. My earlier years was very difficult interacting with people.
Elijah Wilkinson Well, one out of two things are the case here: Either one can have Asberger syndrome, but later, through social training and exercises get to a point where your previous tendencies and impulses don't apply to you anymore, or you simply have it and you're forever bound to act a certain way because of it. I really odn't know which one of those is true. As for helping you out, I appreciate and am honored that you think I'm in any way qualified to give you advice about this, but I'm really not sure I am. All I can say is that for me, a combination of opening up to people, letting total go of my low self esteem and just plain getting older seems to have shed my awkward idiosyncrasies to the point where I can confidently say I'm quite normal and healthy and unafraid of social interaction with people. Also, one of the biggest factors of Asbergers is the lack of empathy and understanding how other people around you think and relating to their behavioral patterns. How I overcame this obstacle was simply just engaging with them and learning from others. And don't get the wrong idea, it's not like I cracked and then memorized the patterns to a rubics cube, it's more a case of all the pieces just sliding into place on their own for me to see. In short, life happened and I emerged a different person. I think it takes an extreme case of Asbergers for it to have a proper iron grip on you as a neurological disorder for you to break out of. If you just have social anxiety, which is quite common at your age, you might just need to learn to like yourself more and learn the fact that other people aren't that different from you, and they're certainly not on a higher level than you either.
christian almli Well I was recently diagnosed at age 36. I was also 14 years old when a less clinical diagnosis was made. As a teenager, I had extreme difficulty making friends and was the "class clown" making comments that were taken as inappropriate. Over time things can get less pronounced, but they never completely go away. For example, I thought I make perfect eye contact now. When the Dr said I only made eye contact about 5% of the time. You may think you are better as an adult, but that is because as adults our brain chemistry does change and judgement improves. Still, you can't reform completely and the symptoms are still present, but to us seem "normal". But not to neurotypicals I have gotten good at faking being normal. However, under stress the mask breaks and I can easily have a melt down. For example when getting suck on a topic or an issue that is bother me, it gets so overwhelming I could not even go to work. And then I have lost jobs because of this. Aspergers may improve over time, but its mainly due to putting on a mask and copying normal behaviors which are not innate and do not come naturally to the affected individual.
For me, it’s more of the lack of social need. In other words, I really don't need friends and I do just fine alone. I’ m quiet in large groups, but in small groups, (and I mean VERY small like even 3 people is intolerable) I’m actually quite social.
I have Asperger's. I'm over 60 and only discovered it 4 years ago... my life has begun to make sense. This is the absolute bet short description I've ever heard! It is me to a T. thank you!
I found out this year. I’m 31. I no longer feel odd. It’s so good to understand yourself. I’m about to start crying to be honest. Crying from happiness
@@jaimejimenez4199 FABULOUS! Once we begin to accept ourselves, nothing else in the world matters. You can just enjoy it. The extra fun is noticing how people react to you if/when they spot something, but now it makes sense, it's no threat, no longer means you're (we're) 'stupid'. Gets better.
@@batcheeboy5077 thanks for sharing that. A sad, typical and happy story all at the same time :) I can see similarities in my life. I’m now alone again but actually, reasonably happy.
People used to call me narcissist and egocentric for years, no one wanted to be my friend when I was very young because I was “different” and “weird”. Now that I am adult I still struggle making friends, sometimes it is hard to make a conversation and talk appropriately. I have a girlfriend and she wants me to stay with her most of the time, but I LOVE to be alone for a certain time and she gets mad for that. I am 21 years old, a few months ago, my mom confessed I have Asperger’s syndrome and I never knew that, now that she confessed it, it explains everything.
Mordred S I love the jokes tough. People react so confused when you look up to the skies and say "really? I don't see it..." after they said "it's raining cats and dogs"
+SMNL019 For a while in my life I did believe it (6-7 years, don't judge me), but as soon as I knew that that was an expression, I pretended a lot that I didn't just to joke around xD
I have Aspergers. I was diagnosed when I was 11 and through my whole life I struggled with communication and social ques. But through years of observing and practicing I feel like I have mastered that and honestly I'm like the life of the party now and I have no difficulty gaining friends. Although I still struggle in other areas like being in large crowds and bright lights but it's manageable so I'm pretty happy where I am in my life. If anyone struggles with this just know that you can operate very well with this syndrome if you learn to control it.
I was diagnosed at 72. Know i have experienced a life of hell. Some people saw something different in me as a child already something that gave them the right to abuse and victimize me at 5 id been raped and sexually exploited for the rest of my life. I thank God for tears and melt downs cos they helped me cope. Today i know it was a walk of life i chose to do from heaven thinking i could do it for the teaching behind it. I look back and realize what a pure gem i was in handling my walk as best i could. I have taken the lessons and im not angry or bitter at anyone. It was my learning path and it made me an amazing person by not being bitter or angry. Im content that i walked my path as best i could considering the circumstances i needed to cope with.
@@fritzschumacher6047 That is more of a play on perception. For one- people with higher intelligence may not share the same interests as others or have a hard time finding people to interact with on their same level. As a result they may bury themselves in books or school work or some other task, and thus not develop good social skills. This is mainly due to a lack of practice rather than any innate difference. The jock who is hanging out with his friends every day developing social skills vs the nerd who is reading books and thus finds social interaction to be awkward. Then the second aspect would be a person of average intelligence may perceive the things a person of high intelligence says or does as weird simply because the person is thinking on a higher level. Aspergers could simply be an extreme case of social isolation rather than a chemical imbalance (I don't know enough about it and even the "experts" don't seem to have clear information on what it is). For example, people who read a lot or are on the computer a lot tend to develop near sightedness. It is a real medical condition that results from the lifestyle of being a geek. Of course some people may be near sighted for other reasons, but perhaps a similar phenomenon could be occurring with social behaviors, motor coordination etc.
Don't get all high and mighty there isn't even that much evidence of increase in intelligence for people with asperger's just difference in interest. Its more of a cognitive trade off than a higher intelligence.
I'm 22 and was diagnosed with aspergers when I was very young. I had a lot of difficulty socializing with people when I was younger and felt very isolated. When I finally made friends as an early teenager I remember really struggling with appropriate behavior. I sort of felt like I could act however I wanted without consequence. I put a lot of effort into improving my social skills and some friends of mine now said they would have never guessed I was on the spectrum, I've even been told by teachers and friends that I have a high EQ and very socially aware. In terms of socializing I now deal with social anxiety but in very specific settings like at my small liberal arts college or around new coworkers. It's very odd and hard to explain. However in some places I feel very comfortable and come of as charismatic. I also have a hard time with sarcasm when I first meet someone, as well as my tone of voice not matching how I feel (so like I may sound annoyed at someone when I'm really not) I also thought the AD/HD aspect was interesting because it reminded me of how I sometimes struggle in reading or sitting down to do work. I'm sorry to ramble. I've just been thinking a lot about my relationship with aspergers and how it has changed or even if I had it to begin with. Cheers everyone!
I just recently did an evaluation and I want to tell you that you shouldn't feel sorry for your tendencies because you're weird and it's beautiful. :) I kept thinking "well what if I come off weird?" regarding common social interactions. So I apologize for it. But honestly, if I can't be myself, why would I try to change that to fit in? In those circumstances, I lose either way. So now I hope I'm weird. Because weird means something new and that means I have a purpose.
Upon reading 70% of these comments I feel like there are some things I must make clear #1 Yes, Asperger's is a funny word. #2 No, we're not retarded. #3 While there are people with Asperger's who're assholes (just like they're people with any form of disability, mental illness, etc. who're assholes) most of the time we just don't understand that situation or the conversation, we don't intend to be mean. #4 as with everyone we do have the ability to make friends, it's just more difficult for us. #5 Asperger's was removed from the DSM5 because medical experts wanted all forms of autism to be grouped into the same category, most people on the spectrum (like me) prefer the term Asperger's over high-functioning autism for many reasons. For me they're A) because I found people understand Asperger's more than autism, and B) because the term autism as more weight to it that Asperger's. What I mean is that when most people hear Asperger's they think of people who're just odd or may need a bit of extra help. When people hear Autism they tend to think of those kids who sit in the corner and rock back and forward all day and talk to trees or whatever. #6 We're not trying to be smartasses, that's just the way we talk. #7 Ok, this is something I thought I'd never have to say in my whole life, Asperger's is NOT A FUCKING POLITICAL THEORY!!!
My child's teachers suggested I get her checked for Asperger's. While waiting for the appointment I found this video. Surprise: THAT was the description of ....me. 😔
When I was in 4th grade, I was diagnosed with ADHD but my family didn’t know much about it and didn’t want me to take any meds so we didn’t pay much attention to it. But now that I found this video I felt that he was completely describing me. And its crazy how many things now make sense.
Omg same here I was told I had adhd and the teachers and doctors wanted me to be on meds but my parents refused, watching this video is a big eye opener it also explains my life! I am going to ask my dr. about this!
I have a 16 year old who has AS . He is socially isolated and that depresses him and he also suffers with anxiety. Loves mathematics but can’t be bothered with his other subjects. Luckily the school that he goes to supports him and they understand that he is different. Having a child who is different means that you are not only raising him but it also becomes a community issue. I have had to be involved throughout his schooling life but it comes with the package.
My boyfriend has this syndrome and I learn from it everyday. I try not to get mad, but at some point I do have to explain to him what the simple things are and to be honest I think its adorable. Even though I dont know what its like, I still love him no matter what and I still think people need to learn what this is so they don't be mean. It really bothers me when someone makes fun of him
Kaytlin Raymond I know what it’s like you just find out how to make weird noises you then get ADDICTED to them like I do this gawg gawg gawg also an elephant noises u with my touch at my lips lbumbum lbumbum please don’t laugh it’s a serious syndrome and I hope he dosent have it also I only have about 3 friends and I don’t like that everyone else has like 10! I don’t know if you can cure it but pray for him. And your bad at grammar so yeah watch my grammar it bad.
I'm on the spectrum of asbergs minor Austium I use to have a gf I dated a girl for 8 months we broke.up for.4 months Than got back together than she broke up with me 7 months later maybe just fell out of love with me and I think its because of my disability
It's essentially by having Asperger's Syndrome. It's like you are emotionally cut off everyone else, you have to take things at face value as it is concrete, when you look at someone's face it appears as essentially a blue screen of death or blurry as if can't read facial expressions, it is guessing every step of the way. It just repeats and repeats. As since you have no collective consciousness, you are forced to do individual things only as you can't understand or feel other's emotions, but instead you have to work your ass off by rationalizing the most mundane things ever. It takes a toll on everyone as they will always say you're a weirdo, but how are you supposed to know your odd behavior if you have no collective consciousness?
Kaytlin Raymond my son has Aspergers and I understand completely. He is now 28 and wants nothing to do with me. It saddens me greatly because I love him, but I understand 😢
This hits home for me, at 66 it describes most of my growing up period in the sixties. I was fortunate enough to have teachers from the second grade onward who gave me space. Extra books in second grade, individual reading program in 4th grade, advanced classes with other nerds in middle school, and X-classes in high school . I never had very many friends but I found peace in my solitude. Oddly enough my firstborn son is the same, now on is late thirties he still lives with his father, and works at the same job I obtained for him at the golf course I was working at, a groundskeeper with an MBA. I don’t think he ever understood why I had to leave his father (severe emotional, physical abuse) we were so close until I had to leave.
not having many friends means they understand that most friendships are shallow … they just do not consider people that have shallow relationships as actual friends … some people think everyone is their friend
I am 20, and I already have an official diagnosis of Aspergers. I generally found it difficult to communicate and interact well in group conversations and often remained silent and inattentive, yet I would successfully communicate during one to one conversations. Furthermore, I generally struggled to maintain eye contact while conversing, as I feared how I would be coming out. However, in academics, I excelled in mathematics while achieving mediocre to low grades in other subjects and struggled to sustain focus for long durations. The factors of attention deficiency and anxiety had further impeded my outlook and emotional well-being, leading to me questioning my abilities. After watching this video, I am becoming a lot more self-satisfied compared to how I was during the diagnosis. Additionally, I am getting reminders of my obsessions with international affairs, politics, and maps, which appeared awkward in the company of people, and it has made me self-satisfied. P.S. Apologies if I didn't articulate well, as the English language was my weakest subject.
@imprwikiimprwiki6898 I thought so. However, I put this comment down out of fear that someone would hurl abuses at me. I'm getting the impression that I wasn't thinking rationally.
I just recently starting going out with this extremely nice guy, he’s sweet and caring and I love him to bits. It was around the first few times we started calling that he explained he had Aspergers and how it was on the spectrum. Growing up I had a few friends who had it but I never really noticed. I’ve been taking the past few weeks to study up on it more and it’s been really fascinating to learn about, it’s also helped me better understand some of the things he isn’t very good at or triggers him. This video was really helpful! It also expanded more in depth some of things that were confusing me ((like the social cue things and blunt honesty. I mean, I appreciate the honesty, but it is a bit shocking when I’m randomly sitting with him and straight says he wants to hook up.)) Thank you for the video 🥰
Hi girl! That's legit why I'm here! I just started going out with a guy and am learning for the same reasons. I know more about how it affects children but not so much adults, so I'm trying to learn more about adults with Aspergers so that I can understand him better. He is also really nice and caring like the guy you know, but blunt and doesn't always get cues. The nice thing is that they are usually extremely smart and intellectual, and verbally sophisticated :)
I'm got very lucky with my gf. She understands me even though she is quite normal. When I, out of nowhere, tell her that I want to lick her face as a demonstration of love she laughs a lot. But I really mean it. Anyway, I'm glad you and your SO are getting along as well.
@@strongindependentblackwoma1887 Er yeah we ended up not working out since he literally just wanted a hook up and got pissed when I kept saying no lmao
It’s only after I leave a conversation do I realize what the person’s body language meant, if I think of it at all. I was told to talk about things that interest others, or ask them about themselves. But I could see that even though I was asking basic questions, the people were looking away. But even then I still didn’t not know how to walk away from the conversation. So, finally one person did. I look back on conversations from decades ago and realize the person gave me an incredible amount of body language to indicate they needed to leave, but I kept talking to them. In the middle of a conversation it is difficult to understand body language in real time. I’ve also been called pit on my body language numerous times, either being told it is not appropriate or dismissive, or my body language is saying one thing, and I’m saying another. As a child I always felt like other people understood social situations, even children my age, but I didn’t seem to understand. I always felt like other people were given a book of explanations, but I wasn’t. I was often laughed at when I didn’t understand what was going on. I had severe ADD symptoms, but no one had any answers or understanding back then. I was considered “intelligent”, so many times my struggles were overlooked. I have terrible balance and coordination, bumping into things constantly. Things like dodge ball were a nightmare. I was very bad at sports. Math made sense to me, and initially I excelled at math. But home life problems distracted me from my ability to learn. My dad was always socially inappropriate, talked about himself, lost interest in conversations if things didn’t understand him. No matter how much of his behavior was brought to his attention, he just never seemed to “get it”. Like me he had severe ADD, and ADHD, was alcoholic, but the two of us understand humor. I still take things literally. I have neighbors that say “stop over any time”, but something tells me they really don’t want me to. Or people will say “call me”, or be nice, but don’t really mean it. Others know this, and understand social niceties, but I don’t. Do I have this syndrome? I don’t know. I’ve noticed I want social interaction less and less, and my ability lately, to communicate with others has really gotten impaired. I think when I don’t practice at being social, I do more poorly. I’m glad for the internet. Boy, do I wish I had it when I was younger.
"I look back on conversations from decades ago" i think many of us have no idea how "wierd" this sentence is for normies. i found its the one that confuses em most. when you start conversation from where it left 6months ago. one of my mates asked me that, could you atleast give some premises to what are you talking about
Yep I felt the same way when I read about AS and ADHD too. Currently trying to get evaluated again so I can at least start treatment for the adhd part 🤦🏾♀️
Thank you for making and sharing this video. Also, thank you to everyone in this comment section who shared their thoughts, thinking process, experiences, feelings, insights and desires. May you continue reaching your goals and happiness.
One sided conversation hit the hardest for me. I always have a wall up and don’t let ppl in it’s burned a lot of relations. People don’t truly get to know you for you until they see your highs and your lows and I only exhibit my highs like I’m always okay. Always there for ppl but don’t want no one there for me. Rather suffer in silence than seek help it’s toxic but I’m getting better haha
I really wish someone would have told me this year's ago. I was socially isolated for almost most of my life. That led to obesity, self isolation, shyness, slow learning, no opportunities to play any sports and living in fear because of being gay. I have been different from my family for years. But I feel now as if it is a continuing process for me to overcome my disabilities, even if I still have moments when I get mad at myself. But at the end of the day, I would rather have one true friend than a group of large false friends. If I have no boyfriend right now, I am at peace with being single. I am more active now than when I was younger. Most importantly, I had lost a incredible amount of weight. So thanks for sharing this!
@amin_ rahman Autism Spectrum Disorder affects everyone on the spectrum differently. If you meet one person on the spectrum, you've only met one. But what everyone on the spectrum has in common, is that they face difficulties/possess traits in all of these areas; social communication & interaction, hyper/hypo-sensitivies (to touch, smell, textures, sight, sound, balance and movement), engage in repetitive behaviours, obsessive interests and routines. Having difficulties in all of these areas will look different to one Autistic individual in comparison to another Autistic individual.
I think some of these things come from a feeling of being overwhelmed or too intense. I have a hard time with eye contact because it is so intimate, and social interactions are energy consuming and intense. This video is a great explanation of "this" 😁
My I.Q. is 176. I have aspergers syndrome. When I first found out. I didn't want to accept it. Now that I have. It has helped me to understand myself a lot better. I have all the issue's that come with it.
I struggled a lot with AS as a kid but over time after becoming more aware of what I was doing I was able to stop it. I now have very little issue interacting with others and I feel more self aware than others thanks to that. I was lucky in the regard that I didn’t develop any neurological disorders such as ADHD, anxiety, or depression. My biggest problem was just that I would regularly act out in ways that were sometimes off putting to others. As I matured this issue slowly resolved itself through self reflection and experiencing further relationships.
I love the way you have explained all of this. I have a diagnosis of Asperger’s and am have my six year tested as well. I see many symptoms I exhibited as a child. I’m hoping that whatever the issue is that we can make school experience for him so he doesn’t go through the same issues that I did.
Right on the nose! This guy actually IS an expert, and is obviously NOT just some dumb neurotypical with a degree and title like most of the so-called "experts" are out there! Just for that, I am subscribing! Thank you, sir, for actually being professional, and spreading truth and awareness, and not just horror stories and lies! P.S: I excelled in all my classes, bringing home multiple 100's on my report cards in high school. I'm not the only one, but although it is surprisingly common, especially in math, it is not something to automatically be expected. Also, I have a strange learning style: either I get something completely, or I don't get it at all, and if I learn something I "don't get at all", it just clicks almost instantly!
People mistake talking about yourself a lot as being narcissistic or self-centered but I do it because I don't KNOW things about other people, but I can speak accurately about my own experiences. I thought it was rude to talk about others anyway 🤷
To marry a person like this is very challenging. One must love with a deep heart. Many dont understand what mild spectrum autism syndrome is! If you find yourself married to one with this condition, my heart goes out!! Even more so when children are involved! They have AMAZING QUALITIES! They contribute to society in many ways and are in most situations extremely successful. But God help you if your married to one diagnosed with this. Even MILD its beyond significant! You need to be an independent person, strong, with high empathy.
I'm certain that I have this. I'm almost in my mid-20s and I learned about Asperger's Syndrome not too long ago. When I was in high school, I was diagnosed with social anxiety. In my early 20's, I was diagnosed with ADHD. After being diagnosed with both of these, I still felt like I have something more than just ADHD and social anxiety. For a long time, I couldn't figure out what is really wrong with me until this year. I never watched this but I heard that when Elon Musk was on SNL, he said that he had Asperger's. At the time, I heard of it before but never knew what it was. So I googled it and the characteristics were identical to what I have
I was labeled with Asperger's syndrome. I am working on a PhD in psychology, now, and I find this label a little strange for me personally. Although I have had communication problems with people, I imagine they may not be any greater than neuro-typical people. My suggestion for people with Asperger's is to explore Buddhist psychology. The stresses of modern life may be partially to blame for this Asperger's concept. Many people are having trouble integrating cognitions and affects.
They say Einstein probably had Asperger’s and his words mirror my own thoughts, so LIKE this if you agree . . . . "There came a turning point for me -- I came to understand that the virtue of my type lies in what I think, and not in how well I express my feelings -- My thoughts encompass me, so I can't easily engage in chatter; just as one wielding a hammer can't then easily play the violin -- I can love humanity it seems, but I'm just not cut out for close personal ties -- I've never really belonged to any country, circle of friends, or even to my own family -- My need to restore within myself has increased over the years -- The resulting isolation is often bitter, but I have never really regretted it completely -- If I'm cut off from the sympathy of others, then I'm also independent of their opinions and prejudices -- I feel the Solace and Virtue that lies in the Insignificance of the Individual and it makes me happy -- I have always sought to gain just a glimpse of the order that lies hidden in nature -- Our search for understanding is all that really matters -- The rest can truly be forgotten.” . . . . Albert Einstein, "How I See the World" . . .
Balanced Stereo damn. I could see myself writing this at some point in my life. Especially the inability to form close ties, not regretting being alone even when it’s hard, and finding that the highest calling and purpose one can have in life is learning and understanding the world.
I have Tourette’s syndrome and I’ve always wondered if I can have Asperger’s too. I tend to have obsessions, particularly with 80s culture. Been obsessed with it for 18 years now. I dress it, collect photos that were taken from that era, do lots and lots of research on the decade because it just seems so awesome as well as collecting anything that was from that decade. Especially the year 1986, anything to do with that year entices me! The economics, educational system, political views. It was so different back then (even though I wasn’t around). Anything from that era and I mean anything gets me excited. The sound quality of. Lives from that era was great too. And I love sharing my affection with that time with everyone.
I never realised until now but most of these symptoms or quirks I struggled with in my early life but managed to overcome in my adult life, and in no way was that easy. I'm 30 now and I'm only just starting to feel normal and accepted compared to my peers. I wish I was properly diagnosed when I was younger because maybe I would of avoided or better coped with things growing up. throughout my adult life I've been screamed and yelled at I've been emotionally abused I've been physically beaten, all because I'm different from other people, but I've managed to overcome all of that, and I'm only just now starting to function like a normal adult. I still have a long way to go but this is inspiring.
I relate to this. I'm an aspie (low functioning) and I've been through something similar. Actually I had an aspie friend who was outstandingly bright and even though he was a bit socially awkward , he managed pretty well and was very high functioning as opposed to me , I've been expelled from two different colleges due to low grades which were caused by my depression and my social awkwardness and I'm friendless, I'm not that smart either so I compare myself a lot to other people which makes me suicidal at times. I'm 23 btw
@@TheAnarchist99 I get that. I am very insecure about my intelligence as well, I was always treated at the "dumb kid" in school. I'm 30 now and although I do feel a little insecure from time to time, I can confidently say that it does get easier with time.
My son was diagnosed with this, he was off the charts with music, science and math. Give him any instrument and he can play it...quite well. He was doing calculus in grade three and took college Organic chem in grade 11. His father and I are musicians, so the music part was never surprising...oh and his father has a Physics degree and I taught math and science. So we just thought he was normal. I am beginning to wonder if this can be inherited
I find that music and working on cars helps me to focus. Music helps to soothe my mind wether I'm playing it on guitar or listening to it. Working on cars has helped tremendously with my fine motor skills and it makes me think of the steps I need to take to fix an issue. My father has pointed out to me that I tend to get a little ahead of myself, but have aquired a knowledge that, at times, rivals his own. I don't really agree with him, but I take it as a compliment nonetheless.
thank you for your video. I recognise myself in what you are describing. Such a hard life I've had. Made efforts again and again to no avail. Could not continue teaching as social contacts were exhausting me. Did not have a successful life at all. I 'm glad to be old in a way. Have a family who did not help at all;
Being Asperger's we always feel overwhelmed with social interactions because how much the stimulus we face at those times, we overwhelms by how much sensory and emotions come from many people at once Oh and i feel so stressed out with 3d gaming and epileptic inducing videos, my brain couldn't handle that and go panic attacks....
This was very helpful! Thank you for this video! I am a 27 year old male and I have a lot of the symptoms of aspergers. I am considering doing some sort of test for aspergers just to hopefully help me in life and understand myself more and hopefully explain why I am how I am. I've struggled so much with having friends and have always been kind of a loner. I am married though and I think and actual diagnosis of aspergers would help my marriage and help my wife understand me more. The way I am holds me back in life as far as jobs. I've worked since I was 18 and I drive but most jobs are very uncomfortable for me and I have major issues with change and I like a routine schedule. I am very socially awkward. I take anxiety medication and it helps some but I feel like if I actually do have aspergers it would explain a lot for me. Being an adult is pretty hard for me with the responsibility that comes with being an adult. I don't understand sarcasm and I take things literally almost all the time and body language is hard for me to read. Also I think my wife might have this or a form of autism so that might make sense why we match so well together, lol.
I finally figured out I was autistic a few months ago and my husband finally told me that he'd pretty much always known it. I think he thought I'd be upset if he told me, but actually, so many things now slot into place with my diagnosis, and I no longer think I was odd. I was, and am, autistic, and I am so happy to know this at last. I'm 65, by the way - so it took me a long time to work it out, but knowing that there were countless people in my family with autism, and figuring out my son's autism, helped me along the way.
I grew up like that. I was fascinated with entomology, mythology and moved to other topics. Also a perfect memory but I did not like to relate to people. I learned at 18 to start watching and mimicking the way people who successfully relate to others. I went through the military after and appeared normal by acting like others I observed. I became a good mimic. I was in intelligence specialists but changed after 3 years due to a cut down. I actually came up with new ideas in the military that changed things, like using computers back when it was windows 3.1 and wordperfect to print maintenance cards and the items listed. Also I came up with changes in the special order system that had me investigated for a unheard of sales and stock turn over. 1.3 was normal mine was 4.1. Then I was taken to a meeting of all ships store people to give a live presentation of how to do the job and was elevated in that area to the leading sales expert. I was injured after I got out and only do light security now. Anyone want an old broken sales expert with asperger's to work for or with them? I am also great with computers.
You’ve described my 79 year old husband EXACTLY. His family had known something was wrong with him. But back then it wasn’t looked into.....probably because they were a British family who moved to Johannesburg South Africa when Colin was seven. Also, perhaps back then in the ‘40’s & ‘50’s, Asperger’s hadn’t actually been looked into & named yet. Colin never was able to learn to tie the laces of shoes; never learned to ride a bike; never learned to drive a car. But he was especially interested in several certain topics, memorizing with ease the details of each subject (geography, biblical facts, astronomy) & easily memorizes phone numbers. He’s in a good mood as long as his daily routine isn’t interrupted. But when invariably is....from time to time.....he becomes angry & agitated & rude. Later on, when he’s able to return to his routine, he apologizes. He has friends.....but prefers to not spend time getting together with them & chatting.....unless they’re licensed ham radio operators like he himself is. Before he & I met....& married when he was 65 & I was 60.....I’m told that Colin always avoided getting together with church friends for a chat before the service.....or at any other function.....but his friends told me Colin became a much-changed man after we got together. I influenced & encouraged him enough to draw him out. Now, after 14 years of marriage, we laugh a lot & joke around a lot,......but I’m still struggling with patience. Living with an Aspie isn’t easy! 😁👍🏻❤️🇨🇦
I was diagnosed with Aspergers back in 2003 I was 17 years old & back then there was very little information about the disorder but thankfully nowadays there is way more help out there .
It's nice to know there are many others out there just like me in the sense of having this. But I'd like to think of it as a gift we have been given. We are definitely different, but in our own special way! I just hope that those who are not like us, would see our world for just a moment and understand we are human too. Thank you for this wonderful video :-)
You nailed this video! Such good info. I wish I saw this 10 years ago when we knew nothing about Aspergers. Teachers need to learn about Aspergers in the child’s Kindergarten years. We didn’t find out til my son was 14, two years ago.
I was born in 1961. If I'd been born in 1991, when general awareness of autism began to grow, I'm quite certain I would have been diagnosed as being somewhere on the autism spectrum. Instead, I was just a weird kid. This video and many of the public comments reflect some of my own experiences in life. Somewhere in my 20s, I learned that my ability to stay very focused for extended periods, among other traits, was something most people don't have. It served me well over the course of my career. So, to be clear, it isn't all bad. And self-awareness is a big plus in anyone's life. Oh ... and I was a master of social distancing lonnng before it was a thing. :-D I just wanted to say, eight years after publishing this video on UA-cam, its message is still having a positive impact on the audience it reaches. Thank You!
Oh , forgot to say this about social distancing , my anxiety and problem with family distancing , I was out , but couldn't refuse a nice invitation years ago , a family reunion , and then it happens , you're sucked in again , I thought I was out , but they keep on pulling me back in ! There is a golden rule amongst Aspies , At all costs , keep the family at distance...
I didn't know I had Aspergers until 6th Grade. I was confused with myself, and didn't feel like I eas doing the right things. But now I know I have it, and know the Symptoms, I now understand why I felt out of place. I am learning to control myself, such as the Sensitive Hearing, Body Movements (Which I used to swing my arms around back and forth, Clapping my hands Front and Back, sometimes hitting people), and trying to get better at the Discussing Self vs Others. I am Fascinated with Movie Making, Directing, and Acting
It's totally me ☺️. I have a post graduate degree in literature , i have studied a lots of different subjects from psychology to quantum physics from evolution to astronomy . , I don't have many friends , it's just me and my boyfriend , my parents and doctor always thought i have learning difficulty, but i was just different , my parents and other family members always hated me , but because I can't read people i don't mind them much , but i grew up after reading Sherlock Holmes i have started to observe people's reaction , nature , attitude toward me , and now I am really good in reading people . I can predict what their future actions is going to be . I accept that my difference is not my fault . It makes me exceptional .Yeah , i have difference and may be not always my actions were good , but i don't regret anything anymore . I must move on , if my parents can't accept me because I am different than i have to move out .
I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at 3. I actually think this is making my life better than it should be. I only have girls as friends. :) I have more time than others to take tests. I am sensitive, which is maybe why I get bullied a lot. X( But my friends obey me. Whatever I say, like let's play Minecraft, they do it with me. Thank you, Doc!
I was diagnosed with it a few years ago... Had always been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder, although it's highly likely that I've got both. To me, from experience, it feels like a state of ultra-awareness that permeates into every part of life. Since I am so aware, whatever topic/thing I deliberately focus my conscious awareness on, I become an absolute expert of, because I familiarize myself in depth with everything there is to know about it. I know that sounds braggadocios, but it's very literally what it feels like
I'm 22 and have always felt like something is off. I never got diagnosed when I was younger cause people just assumed I was lazy or stupid, but the specifics of doing sports and such alone, and the balance one really caught me. The amount of times I roll over my ankle when running, and it doesnt sprain or break fascinates me, and my partner says I sometimes have t rex arms.
‘Anxiety becomes an issue at certain points with individuals with Asperger’s.’ 🤔 Yes, the ever present threat of destitution as the aftermath of retaliation for violating unwritten rules can have that effect.
I've been struggling to understand exactly what it means to have AS, and why it's so hard for me to communicate effectively with other people, and I have a sort of working theory. I believe that the conscious part of my brain is more active than normal, and the subconscious part is less active than normal. I think that body language and facial expressions and things like that aren't really perceived on a conscious level. I think it's more of an instinct than anything else. So, because I'm forced to try to understand instinct on a conscious level, without any primary experience of it, it becomes just another intellectual puzzle to be solved. Unfortunately, it doesn't conform to any specific logical structure, and so I can't really form a reliable theory of how it should work. This turns what should be a simple, friendly conversation (for example), into a desperate effort to reconcile past experiences with what is happening now, and select an appropriate action accordingly. That is why I prefer verbal communication; because there is an apparent structure to it which can be learned and processed consciously. The reason I use language so literally, and get frustrated when other people don't, is because this undermines the one thing that language has going for it; the potential to be unambiguous. When this happens, verbal communication becomes meaningless and abstract, and leaves me effectively blind, deaf and dumb. For me, talking to a NT person is like asking for directions to a specific place, and getting the vague response "that way".
i dont even need to communicate i already know the persons state of being by their voice speed of movements what they are looking at or thinking about what they want etc,,, i could even sometimes Pierce into their neurobiology energy level vitamin chart (too high or lacking nutrients) the reason for their physical condition etc,,,
I have Aspergers too and I say the same thing it's hard when I was a child and growing up I get laugh at from middle school due to my speech impediment I was always quiet and afraid to speak out but a few people I met and become my friend accepts the way I am the man I love has ADHD and he's good at grammar he helps me out and my parents help me with my memory exercise (short term memory) I have hard time remembering my task and what people are saying I do remember the people I love around me I know their names it's just I don't remember my oldest relatives but anyways I feel your pain
It was back in 70s or 80s they would call me mentally Retarded. I always felt different then everyone. I'm 50 now and I still have problems. But I saw this video it made so much sense. Such as I isolate not many friends. Have anxiety and depression. So many things made sense but no one gets me..I get very depressed over it..people get angry at me because I don't understand. I feel shame embarrassed. Sorry for going on...
Some of the things that really annoy me, are when people say we don't have "emotions" and that "we lack empathy" but It isn't true, we do have feelings.
Desties Nation Very true. It’s just extremely difficult to “read” other’s emotions.
I guess the problem is, that we function different. If they interact, one person feels something and if another person is emotional connected, the other person instantly feels the same, without any thought or mental action. What Professionals or most people do, they watch the outside and describe it. In Science this might be a good option, if you research physics or so, but what they don't do, they don't include those into their research, who could tell them the inside perspective. I guess that is a result of expecting same functionality of us like them, before they want accept our co-research. (sorry, no native speaker).
a lot of aspies feel SOOO much in the way of emotions they learn to switch some off to be able to deal with things .
@@NOT_SURE.. I cant switch emotions off... that is why I collide with people...
@@pakabe8774 perhaps you do other things you dont need to do like be nice to everyone or give out too much personal info about yourself .
We're not antisocial. We sometimes like to be alone, yes, but don't like to "feel" alone. That drives many of us to seek social situations deliberately. But since social interaction is difficult, overstimulating and exhausting, we have trouble finding tolerant crowds to hang out with. It's why we often develop unconventional friendships, too (age disparities, or exclusively of the opposite sex) -- we'll befriend whoever relates to us, understands us, makes us comfortable. We're not antisocial.
So much this.
@@firebrand420 uP
This 100%
Well said. My asperger's is great at weeding out insincere people.
I would say we are choosy. Which isn't a bad thing in my opinion and I think a lot of Nerotypicals could even agree. We like stable people who are not likely to do anything drastic or reckless. Calm and mellow.
When I first met my boyfriend he didn’t tell me he was autistic. I was very attracted to his intellect and unique sense of humor, and it wasn’t until months into our friendship that he told me about his autism. It never occurred to me that he was different aside from a few little social quirks, and he said the biggest giveaway was his unnatural tendencies with eye contact, but funnily enough I greatly struggle with even just meeting people’s eyes so I never even noticed his eye contact tendencies. As I got to know him further I found that he has a very unique sense of rationalism, a wonderful sense of sarcasm, and deep, profound emotions. Now I’m proud to call him my boyfriend. When you really take the the time to know a person with autism, you’ll find that they are not disabled, but simply wired to think and feel differently, and it has been a wonderful thing for me and my boyfriend to learn and grow together.
Edit: one year later we’re still together and happy. I’d like to clarify that when he talks about his autism, he makes it clear that he really does feel disabled. But in getting to know him I never saw his autism as a disability or something that hinders him.
But we are disabled. Disabled is not a bad word and EVERYONE need to understand that. Just because you don’t perceive an individual as disabled does not mean autistic people are not disabled.
That’s a really beautiful & profound comment-I wish you 2 all the best in the world ❤
very interesting thx for your post. I made a new friend (really like him) and he has Aspergers. So wanted to understand more. He's so intelligent and impressive. WOW
Yeah the eye contact is a big one, for me holding eye contact feels like holding a difficult yoga pose. If it's anxiety, I may have almost no eye contact but when casual and connecting, the eye contact still remains difficult like holding a heavy weight. Often zero thoughts or concerns about the case of difficulty with eye contact, it's more inherent sensitivity like touching something too hot and immediately pulling the hand away.
I’m really happy for you guys. I have faced a similar situation but unfortunately I had to leave the relationship. Some aspies can be very unrealistic and extremely rigid and pedantic about things that makes it so hard to function.
I've been living with AS for 61 years now and I'm still here much to my own surprise . the best way to describe it is feeling like a small child trapped inside an adult body and you never really wanted to be an adult in the first place. I really enjoy being alone, except that I'm not alone as I have many dogs and cats which are far better company than any humans could ever be
Christer Espevoll I like this description. Can you please supply more?
I too feel the same way.. Im 55 and have klinefelters as well as finding out the symptoms of Aspergers.. Ive had problems my entire life dealing with people but now prefer being alone.. Id be perfectly happy livjng in a van moving from ine place to another with nobody to change my plans. Does that make any sense.I hope im not bothering you with my comment.
Omg.....yes💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Yes it's like being a child trapt in a Adults body
I am the same, a child trapt in a Adults body, I totally understand.
I apologize but I want to vent my frustration. I am 39yo male married with three great kids. I have always been different from everyone else and felt outcast most times especially growing up and in school. In April of this year I started researching AS because a friend of my wife has a child with AS and told her that our four year old son has AS. I have noticed that as my son grows he is acting exactly as I did his age when it comes to certain actions, obsessions etc. Some really stand out more than others. He is also very intelligent and active much as I was. So I started looking into AS and it has been a mind blowing experience. Nearly everything that I have researched including this video is not only my son but myself as well. Over the last few months I have come to terms with this and realize the pros and cons. It is refreshing to finally have a reason to know why I am the way I am. But even though it has really helped me grow in my career and side business and everything that I do the I have to say that the social aspect of it really sucks. I mean really really sucks. I wish I could feel what its like to have a normal prolonged conversation and interaction with people for a day. I also wish I would have known much earlier that I have AS thinking maybe I wouldn't have been so hard on myself and self forgiving of my actions. Anyway sorry for the rant.
Why not go and get tested before you make yourself more worried. What if you have it? Then you can seek proper treatment. What if you don't have it? Then you can find a councilor who can help you in social situations. As for your son, if he is in school you can speak to someone on the child study team at his school. Most likely he can be tested for it for free. You would have to initiate that conversation however. Good luck and please seek out assistance sooner than later.
Greg NY That's how I found out that I had ASD.
My experience is much the same. I'm 35 and just got diagnosed. Happily married with 2 kids. I also got diagnosed with ADHD, after both my boys got diagnosed with it as well. My poor wife!...
Hi there. Thanks for your post. I am what's known as "normal"" . I am super happy being married for 20 years to AS we have a daughter AS.
I wouldn't trade them for a world. I wish sometime I were born with AS.
They are pure hearts and beautiful souls. Thx
Hi, I know it has been 2 years since your comment, but I would like to add mine that is so so so similar to yours. I have just turned 40. I am a woman from Europe and English is not my native language, so please forgive my possible mistakes. I am married and have two young children aged almost 6 and 8. They are healthy. I have always known I was different than other people. I was even bullied at school even though I had no idea why. Kids could just sense I was the "strange" child. I did very well at school, I played the piano and I read a lot. I was the quiet girl often praised by teachers for good behavior. But kids did not like me too much. When I was at high school, I changed my school and my new classmates were much better. I never experienced being bullied again. I even had lots of friends. With puberty, I became more self-confident, more outgoing and sociable. But I still felt I was different in many aspects. But people (including myself) thought I was just a bit more into books, a bit more thinking about things, a bit more interested in special topics. Then I went to university and my new schoolmates were okay, but again, I did not have many friends. I had one good friend, though, and he was a guy. Just a friend, nothing more. I found out that I got along better with men than with women. Men do not talk as much as women do, and that is what I like. I don´t like talking too much, I have always prefered writing. I got married, had the two above mentioned children, a nice house, two cars... everything you can dream of. Then I came across a video about Asperger´s. And suddenly it all clicked. I was watching a video about myself! So I started searching the net, more videos, more articles and I have also taken many many many online tests on Asperger´s. And all of them told me I was an Aspie. So I went to a specialist and yes, after serveral months of testing, she told me the same diagnosis! Only a year ago, I had no idea. And now I know the answer to all of my questions. I know why I am different, why I can´t keep friends, why I don´t like social chit chat, why I don´t direct sunshine on my face, loud noises, being touched and the look at the texture of bread (yes, I hate that). And I am happy now. Now I know that I am not a worse person than other people. My brain is just wired differently, but I am not worse. I may not be able to cope with some things, but I may be better at many things others "healthy" people aren´t. And I perceive it as a blessing. God bless you too.
I am literally crying, this explains my entire life
You aren't alone, friend.
I have reached the point of depression as mentioned in the video and i’d also like to just cry it all out
same here man, you're not alone
we in this together, better be tears of joy
I think I'm in the same boat and I've somehow repressed it. I've always felt alien, since school. I feel like I've spent my life watching people and learning how they act. I've desperately put on a facade of normalcy that I continued through very unhealthy habits like alcoholism in order to dull myself. It seems like my friends don't even notice anything, but in hindsight it's because I've been trying so fucking hard to be "normal" my whole life.
I've been telling myself for 20 years that this is some kind of phase I'll grow out of. That I'm just immature. But I've come to realise I do not act naturally in any way. Even in school, I was never learning things in totality for exams. I learned what teachers wanted from me and I was good at giving it to them. I studied the day before every exam and scored ~75 for most subjects because I felt obligated. It's just memory and pattern recognition. There are 5 marks for a question, create 5 logically consistent points in my answer using the information I DO have.
It's like I have to manually process social interactions, and I feel like a mirror who's just showing people what they want to see.
Hi. I’m a Doctor in Psychology. I’ve worked with people within the autism spectrum / high functioning (prior aspergers ) In my experience it’s not a syndrome, meaning there’s something wrong with them.They are not sick. Their brain is wired different. I found them much more empathetic, with wonderful human values and fun to be with. I rather be with an aspie, than with neurotypicals.
It is a neurological disorder. I hope you are lying about being a psychologist, I have Asperger's Syndrome and it is a very difficult condition to deal with on the daily. If you cannot see that then it is WORRYING that you are treating your patients with that mindset.
A syndrome is a collection of disorders, and, as such, the presence or absence of a specific disorder within the syndrome and the degree to which it interferes with the lives of its sufferers depends upon the individual. Asperger's by definition IS a syndrome because it is a cluster of varied problems. It IS a syndrome.
@@folieadeux9551 But I was diagnosed with it by one Psychiatrist, and then it was proven wrong by four others. You may indeed have it, but it and mild bipolar are BOTH often misdiagnosed. Psychiatry is a big money maker!!
@@JeanetteFaith I was misdiagnosed with borderline disorder, to later in life being told I actually am autistic. Psychiatry is a big money maker indeed.
@@folieadeux9551misdiagnosis is incredibly common and problematic in psychiatry. We wouldnt tolerate it in any other medical specialties
My son has Asperger's and 99% of these describe my son. He was diagnosed very early and had help at school from 5 years old. His high school had a communication support base where he went from 11-17 and he is now nearly 24 with a computer science degree. Kids deserve the best education and support they can get, no matter what difficulties they may have.
Ppl are assholes
I honestly think sometimes I might have it I’ve never been to a psychiatrist I know for a fact I have adhd tho
Excuse me who give the diagnosed to your son, Can you please help me , I’m desperate to help my son.
@@leearzo8711 Go to a psychologist or social worker. They can diagnose it. But do it. Aspies can excel when they have the support and understanding they need. They can also be taught to read some body language and facial expressions, which helps enormously in daily contact with others.
@@MJ-pk1cl I also have adhd but not Asperger’s. Go to a therapist, a psychologist preferably, for a diagnosis.
Its like you crash landed on earth but the scientists didn't give you a handbook.
Minecraft?
@@anak_kucing101 no aspergers syndrome
@@charchar4931 I heard that phrase in a kids show...
@@anak_kucing101 yes arthur! I think it describes aspergers perfectly!
I was given one, but it wasnt for me
I have Aspergers. A friend once described it not as a “disability”, but rather as a “different ability”.
To me it's neurotypicals who seem odd, constantly obfuscating their conversations and lying without apparently realizing it. I would prefer if they were honest and straightforward.
@@wizardsuth Well, we usually DO follow to the beat of a different drum
@@wizardsuth Yes! Finally someone said it!
Exactly. i have been questioning the 'disability' term all my life...this..aint that...we are Not Disabled. We are the Opposite of Disabled..we are Very Abled....to the point it scares most 'normal' people.
I love that description. Thanks.
I play the guitar. And I have allot of anxiety. But when I play. Everything goes normal and I become my own person!!
owen shipp i can understand that when i do anything that's art i feel like myself. I was told it's because it's what i enjoy so i should continue it and never care if someone else doesn't like my work. P.s. i would love to hear you play i love the sound of a guitar
You're a tv show there bud.
That's what's up
Cultivate that skill and do well.
I know you will.
Same here. Having/learning guitar during my teen years helped me make it through that confusing maze
Do you;
1. Have very few/no friends
2. Enjoy time alone
3. Become overstimulated easily (noises/sounds)
4. Enjoy being with animals (sometimes more so than humans)
5. Have a creative outlet
6. Enjoy learning
7. Suffer from bouts of anxiety/depression
8. Exercise solo (running, cycling etc.)
9. Wish you could interact freely with people
10. Do you know how awesome you are
Then yes.
Lights do not really bother me
Yes, overstimulated by 3d motions graph and epileptic inducing videos....
But i'm depressed, I'm faking my happiness honestly, i'm not that good and smart, and i suffer many abuse and trauma....
Am not anti social but I don't like to hang out with people but if they hang out with me it's ok for me but there are some on my list I recognize as worth of my attention so am I ...?
So you have to be egotistical to have Aspergers. Sounds about right.
...i was agreeing with every one..until #10....then i bailed.
I hate admitting I have Asperger's syndrome. Nothing has come good from it. I have been bullied from it most of my life. Well ever since the early years of primary school. From that point on I have suffered from bullying all the way up to now. I am now 18 and in my final year of school. How I have lasted this long is completely beyond me. There have been times when things have gotten that bad and I have been treated like shit from a lot of people all my life that I just wanted to end it all. People with Asperger's syndrome seem to go through life harder than others. Sure everyone can go through tough times but it just seems harder on our end trying to move through life.
I'm hoping your family is nice to you at least; mine wasn't.
kick there ass
And hang in there, we got this.
I had asbergers but my family kept it a secret from me and told the doctor not to make the diagnosis official because they were worried about me being labeled. Well... I was labeled anyways. Everyone knew something was different about me, -I- knew something was different about me, they just didn't have a name to put to it so they called me stupid instead. While telling people doesn't help... I think understanding why you are that way does. Other people don't need to know. The diagnosis is there to help you not them. I didn't get my real diagnosis until I was 26 after I became depressed, anxious and suicidal. It's not diagnosed as asbergers anymore so now I'm diagnosed as autistic. I know it never would have fixed the hard times but I think that getting the therapies and professional help would have made my life a lot easier. But I can't fix that. All I can do is get therapy now so I can make myself more employable.
i have asbergers in addition to ptsd, from child abuse. here is my advice. im 26. start your own business ASAP or you will be miserable. adulthood is no easier. i have a small lawn care business and im thinking about getting a food car. some thing simple that you cant get fired from, and u can control the type of people who u have to work with.
The ‘one sided conversation’ thing really bothers me, when I’m talking to somone I try to talk about them and then they try to talk about me and it really makes me feel uncomfortable.
I'm always the side that doesn't talk and just listen (i mostly get lost into my own thought)
In my 30's I started experimenting by making sure I asked more questions than made statements. It took a lot of discipline but, with practice, conversations became more productive. It also helps that you have some time to watch others facial expressions and try to match them to what they are saying.
Most of my adult social life has been about inventing little social experiments and see if the results match my predictions. I have mentioned this to NT friends and they mostly think it's funny (in an endearing way).
@@chriswilliams1096 I can relate to the experiments you pursued in social situations. I learned to do the same thing, by asking questions and listening whereas before I would carry on with my topics of interest. However, I find it harder to maintain focus on the flow of the conversation which is impacting my relationship with my wife and daughter. It's a lifelong process to be sure. Thanks for sharing your thoughts 👍
@@edgemadefoxe367 Same, I'm almost always the one who gets caught on the receiving end of a one-sided conversation. It's quite frustrating at times. I try to contribute to the conversation but I usually just get talked over or interrupted.
@@97I30T if ppl consistently overtalk u, explain it to them if u think they really care. if u dont, probably not the best people to be talking to
I remeber as a kid i was diagnosed with aspergers. The reason the doctors wanted me tested was that i would almost never listen to what my parents said, and i often misunderstood things. So they took me to get a hearing test, which i got a perfect score on. Then when the doctors asked about it 4 year old just said "I just don't want to listen." My dad was really stressed out and angry about it, so he decided to lock me in a dark room to "Reprimand the aspergers out of me" Which of course didn't work at all. My mom ended up convincing him it wasn't something to get so worked up about. I used to really like dinosaurs as a kid, and i don't mean the usual "So cool, big monster!" kind of way most kids did. Instead I would spend hours rewatching the same dino documentaries over and over again, memorizing every fact they contained, i remember once when i lost one of my favorite dinosaur toys. I had a mental breakdown and cried for several hours, my mom (the most understanding person on earth) managed to get me into thinking that another dino toy at the store was the same one, which finally stopped my crying. For the first 6 years of my life i wasn't really that different, i mean i would get worked up about unusual things and would start crying whenever i was even mildly frustrated. But i wasn't too different. Then school came, it started out fine, but i started getting made fun of by one of my classmates. He started as my friend, the kind of friend you don't really talk too outside of at lunch or when you're in the same group, but still a friend nonetheless. But this friend had ADHD, and he really struggled with attention during class, so he started doing things to distract him. Like throwing pencils, using the blunt side of scizzors to make me think he cut my hair, and hitting my cap of off my head. I kind of feel bad for him, his parents got divoced right as we really started to get into school (The swedish school system gives kids a "0th" grade to get used to getting up at a certain time and to do simple work, and this was right as "0th" grade ended) We still go too the same school, but we have a pretty big class, and we're in different groups. He almost completely stopped these things when we got our new maths and english teacher, she's been extremely understanding and helpful towards any student who struggles with anything. Although i personally believe that i have been able to work it out of my system, i still struggle with socializing. And i think because of the fact that nobody really knows that i have a reason for it, they just kind of assume i try to be weird and annoying. So most people in my class really don't like. They don't hate me. I very often hear people talking about me, thinking i can't hear, i often have people assume that i am staring at them when i zone out, or intentionally do things like bumping or stepping on the heel of their shoe. But i don't mean to do it, i just struggle with reading movements or knowing where to place my eyes. And this means that most of my class (excluding my friend group) just think i'm a jerk. I wish i was brave enough to tell this story to other people, but I'm not. My Anxiety and deppression aren't that serious, but i don't think i'm doing too well either. The simplest way i can explain aspergers is that you're playing a game with the controls changed, but without you knowing where their mapped. So just kinda press all of them until you find the right one, but sometimes you click one that does the complete opposite of what you want to do.
Sorry about the text being so unorganized and whiny, but i really just couldn't stop writing when i finnally found a way to talk about it without actually talking to someone.
Update: I have a massive friend group of super supportive and nice friends who all started to understand me (weirdly enough, they understand me better tha my mom does.) and the amazing teacher has made a majority of all students understand that kids with ADHD or aspergers don’t intentionally do weird or dumb stuff, its motstöt just misunderstandings or stress.
In an oddly normal kind of way...talking to strangers can be more refreshing/almost enlightening than talking to loved ones...for the very reason they don't know you. It's really weird...but not lol. Funny ironic kindof weird
Yeah, I hear you. I had to practice socializing - I mean, it’s easy to do when one is a kid, but it just gets harder and harder as one becomes an adult. I still don’t have it figured out. My friend says, “You seem extroverted to me!” But the truth of it is, I pretend like I am in a play. I try to emulate how others are, and I have had to study how people get through a conversation with others. I don’t have any problem with my own family members, they all know me and I know them, so I can be how I naturally am. But when interacting with others, it’s not easy at all, and afterwards I feel so full of anxiety.
Thank you for letting your feelings be known. I think this will help me better understand and interact with my grandson who has aspergers. I wish you well.
Why did you wrote an essay?
Glad you're doing alright now! It's sad you had to go trough a lot of stuff and i think you described it pretty well so take this big fat *W* and i hope you will continue doing good and i also wish the best to your friend with ADHD! Have an amazing year
I hate having Asperger, it has been nothing but a curse to me. The school's psychologist detected "anomalies" in me as far back as when I was 4 years old, but I never did the test until 21 years later, which yielded positive.
Because of how people have treated me throughout my life I've come to develop a huge mistrust of everyone and everything - my "fight or flight" sense goes off with literally anybody that speaks to me. It's also one of the reasons, along with noise, why I've come to hate cities, seeing them more as human hives than anything. Luckily I live in a small rural town.
For the majority of my life i felt there's something wrong with me and i needed to change. Then i realised i'm an Aspie and something clicked. Now i can accept me for who i am. There are benefits of being Asperger too, you know.
The part where he mention friendships really hit me personally, because I have the syndrome and have always suffered with friendship issues. I remember in primary school having a stage in my life where I had no one to play with during recess or lunch, and so I would talk to whatever teachers where on yard duty. This went to the point where I had a closer bond to the teachers rather then my actual peers. I also began to memorise which teachers were on yard duty and when, considering that not all teachers were ones that I was willing to talk to because I didn’t have a pre-existing bond to them. I would also hate working in groups, because I would always feel like an outcast and none of my ideas would ever go through as I had a different way of thinking opposed to everyone else. I am also very opinionated on almost everything I think, so that didn’t get me any popularity points. I was also a firm and open christian, which also had the same affect (primary school kids are mean). Eventually I got back into a social group and was able to enjoy my last year of primary school (year 7).
@@Cortesevasive What do you mean?
@@Cortesevasive I more so meant what do you mean about ovethinking?
@@Cortesevasive huh
Oh damn he 100% left
Well I'm sorry you have to struggle with that. But I'm so glad you believe in Jesus!!!! He made you just as you are for a reason. You can help others!!! Maybe you should look for a support group who has the same disorder. God bless and thank you for sharing!
I'm 34 & have just recently learned that I have Aspergers. It has explained so much & has kind of given me a new lease on life. All of the things I felt so self-conscious about & all of the things that made me feel like I was failing as an "average" person, they can all be attributed to asperger's. So the fact that I am a nurse, a Mother, a loving wife & the few close relationships I have are all blessings. I wish people knew more about people like me - that people with Asperger's are really just normal people with a different perspective. We are highly sensitive, which can be STRENGTHS. I need to get on with it & make my videos about my experience with aspergers. Thanks for posting this. It will be very helpful for my family to see it simply explained.
I'm 34 and am thinking I have it too, due to having every symptom of it.
Angela Walden But how do you have all that when Aspergers patients are socially awkward to start or keep relationships in the first place? Let alone getting married or having and raising children.
I think sensitivity is a gift as well. Unfortunately many people would make fun of my sensitivity and be told that I couldn’t just cry whenever I got yelled at. My sister asked me what would I do when my boss yelled at me. I asked her why would they yell at me. Seems like a strange example.
I had a friend in school who had what I now know to be Asperger's Syndrome.
To his friends and acquaintances he was a bit "odd", very clever, a mine of information on the weirdest topics (but couldn't tell you how to do scrambled eggs), honest, easily fooled, helpful when he could, inoffensive, vulnerable and was very popular but mostly within our circle.
The lecturer here associated the condition with "learning difficulties" but I have met many with the condition and all are high achievers in the academic field.
Thank you for your post.
Good to hear from someone on "the inside".
It seems to be a more rare condition among girls/women than among boys/men.
@@dukadarodear2176 girls/women have different symptoms and tend to be more undiagnosed.
"Tend to talk about themselves."
Yes. I myself (see, there it is) thought for years that's how a conversation is. Every single person I ever spoke to only ever talked about themselves or how the world related to them. When other people told me this wasn't the case, and I would quote the person in question, the person speaking to me about the other would say, "See, he was talking about this or that." And it STILL sounded like the person was talking about his or herself.
Honestly, I still see and hear people talking about themselves. It takes a long time for me to go through all the possibilities and I often end up with, "This person is talking about himself."
*****
I've had to explain it several times. Almost every time I am told that people don't always talk about themselves. But I have never heard anyone not talk about something that is of import to them. Even the news (every single news service) only reports on things important to those in that particular news service.
You see, everybody always talks about themselves. The difference here is that a "normal" person will never truly accept it or admit it because it's frowned upon in our society and we have been brainwashed to think it's selfish and bad. What is selfishness anyway? Aren't we supposed to be selfish? I guess I must have Aspergers then. Don't worry pal, you're actually smarter than those who are socially acceptable. Your Aspergers is a gift and your greatest strength.
Exactly! I don't get it, seems like everyone else can talk and express their thoughts and feelings, yet when I do it for some reason it's not appropriate? Everyone else gets an opinion but me? I think it's just because my values are so different from most people's... I don't care about celebrities, sports, luxury toys, a girls weekend wine trip, kids, god crap, eating meat... If someone brings up the weather, I talk about the anthropocene. I despise small talk and always seem to gravitate towards "what you're not supposed to talk about".. Politics (I'm progressive) religion (I'm atheist), science - especially climate science right now, justice/activism, veganism, green energy and environmental conservation... I like discussing *ideas* rather than engaging in what I consider superficial chatter. And look, I get it, most people aren't interested in what I'm interested in, or at least certainly not to the same degree.
You are partially correct.
I have AS and I have a lot of trouble talking about other people, so what I do is I try to find out what they like, and talk about what I personally know about the subject. If I run out of stuff to talk about there, I bring up another subject that might be related, and see if they know anything about that. It's kinda like talking to an NPC in a video game, where I choose different dialogue options and once they're exhausted I bring up another one.
Older aspie here, it's like playing the board game manopoly , no matter how hard you try to win, it's always back to the starting line again.
whats the starting line referencing,,,
And there is virtually zero help for adults with Asperger's. Also, it was removed from the dsm. Sadly it's a life long struggle
There is help; it's expensive. I was diagnosed in my late 20's. I live in southern California and UCLA medical has a great diagnostic program. I had to write a time line of my life from as far back as I could remember: school, work, social life, personal life experiences. There were 3 days of testing from specialists. The final segment was either parent (my mother) coming in for her own private interview about my childhood; milestones, behaviors, etc. It took over a month and the cost was 5,000 dollars; my insurance did pay for half. But now I have a diagnosis as well as continuing treatment from the specialists at UCLA. It's like anything else. If you really want to do it, it is available, but you're going to have to pay or it.
Agree! Getting a definitive diagnosis does nothing because there is no support system in this country for aspies. They are ignored and their very real struggles are dismissed.
Amanda Arteno , my son is living in his own in subsidized housing but he has a lot of support from his Dad and me. I don’t believe he could do it without someone and wish there were group homes for Aspies. We worry what will happen to him and will he be a burden to his sisters.
I know just what you mean. In my day there wasn't any info out there. Have had and still do have a very hard life. With God's help I get by.
@@SatanenPerkele I don't need cure, I need tolerance - if acceptance is to much for many.
I have never been diagnosed with Asperger's, but I've always struggled with many stages in my life. I'm no psychologist, so I won't go as far as saying I have this disorder. But mostly everything on that board applies to me and it definitely answers a lot of questions why I do things or say things the way I do.
With the gradual using of dr imenherbal recommendation for autism , whom I met on UA-cam , my son is totally free from autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he now respond to orders and act right . Thank you Dr imenherbal for your help
living with asperger's has been difficult for me and this Dr imenherbal I meet on channel makes me feel great that someone knows what my life is like ...
I feel like I have this but I just drink to feel normal and have normal conversation with people
@Azim Premji be gone bots
I believe many Aspies are self diagnosed.
The awkward standing / not knowing what to do with your hands really hit home for me. Also the small talk problem, and not knowing when a conversation should end. For many years I have been treated for social anxiety but my new therapist suggested it could be Aspergers. Thank you very much for the video.
Yeah, the same with me😅😂 I think only with logic without taking into account emotions. Don't know how to start small talk. How people communicate fells fake and weird, for example, laughing at joke if it isn't funny, so it wouldn't be awkward. I catch my self saying insensitive things, because I go straight to logical thinking and problem fixing without sympathy. Don't know how and when to show sympathy and empathy. I can't explain how I fell, foreign felling to me😅 Interested into details and how everything works and is put to gather. Can't even by vacuum cleaner without days off research😂 Don't show emotions on my face, don't really how much or know how😅IQ is above average 120-130 +- by internet tests. Depression is a thing but I keep it under control. Don't know why I have friends, because I don't ever call just to chat or see how someone is doing.
I hope it is just Asperger. Hopefully I'm not a sociopath😅😂
I was diagnosed with a mild form of it when I was 14. I'm 23 now and I feel very strongly towards never having had it in the first place. There was definitely a point in my life where a combination of social anxiety, lack of social skills and just plain being a a weird and awkward teen could make people draw the conclusion that I suffer from that syndrome, but the me of today contrasts the 14 year old me in so many ways that I just think I must have been wrongly diagnosed.
Woah!! I'm 14 right now (male) and think I have AS, but I sound exactly like what you were describing your 14 year old self as - social anxiety, awkwardness, lack of social skills. I'm very confused if I have it or not now. Did you overcome it or did it just go away (social awkwardness)? Please help.
Well you should know yourself better than anyone else. I had a learning disability at as a 5 year old kid. School was sometimes difficult for me. College was very difficult. Several years ago I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. I'm 47 years old. My earlier years was very difficult interacting with people.
Elijah Wilkinson Well, one out of two things are the case here: Either one can have Asberger syndrome, but later, through social training and exercises get to a point where your previous tendencies and impulses don't apply to you anymore, or you simply have it and you're forever bound to act a certain way because of it. I really odn't know which one of those is true.
As for helping you out, I appreciate and am honored that you think I'm in any way qualified to give you advice about this, but I'm really not sure I am. All I can say is that for me, a combination of opening up to people, letting total go of my low self esteem and just plain getting older seems to have shed my awkward idiosyncrasies to the point where I can confidently say I'm quite normal and healthy and unafraid of social interaction with people. Also, one of the biggest factors of Asbergers is the lack of empathy and understanding how other people around you think and relating to their behavioral patterns. How I overcame this obstacle was simply just engaging with them and learning from others. And don't get the wrong idea, it's not like I cracked and then memorized the patterns to a rubics cube, it's more a case of all the pieces just sliding into place on their own for me to see.
In short, life happened and I emerged a different person. I think it takes an extreme case of Asbergers for it to have a proper iron grip on you as a neurological disorder for you to break out of. If you just have social anxiety, which is quite common at your age, you might just need to learn to like yourself more and learn the fact that other people aren't that different from you, and they're certainly not on a higher level than you either.
christian almli Well I was recently diagnosed at age 36. I was also 14 years old when a less clinical diagnosis was made. As a teenager, I had extreme difficulty making friends and was the "class clown" making comments that were taken as inappropriate. Over time things can get less pronounced, but they never completely go away. For example, I thought I make perfect eye contact now. When the Dr said I only made eye contact about 5% of the time. You may think you are better as an adult, but that is because as adults our brain chemistry does change and judgement improves. Still, you can't reform completely and the symptoms are still present, but to us seem "normal". But not to neurotypicals
I have gotten good at faking being normal. However, under stress the mask breaks and I can easily have a melt down. For example when getting suck on a topic or an issue that is bother me, it gets so overwhelming I could not even go to work. And then I have lost jobs because of this. Aspergers may improve over time, but its mainly due to putting on a mask and copying normal behaviors which are not innate and do not come naturally to the affected individual.
christian almli i've just got diagnosed with it actually just got home and i'm 22 so i guess i'm late to the party
For me, it’s more of the lack of social need. In other words, I really don't need friends and I do just fine alone. I’ m quiet in large groups, but in small groups, (and I mean VERY small like even 3 people is intolerable) I’m actually quite social.
I'm afraid too. I have asperges. Lately I started wondering why I don't have many friends
Exactly the same. Please tell more
I relate to this
Well put weegee
Very same situation here.
This literally made my day at the age of 35, and explained everything about my life... I need to learn more about this.
I have Asperger's. I'm over 60 and only discovered it 4 years ago... my life has begun to make sense. This is the absolute bet short description I've ever heard! It is me to a T. thank you!
I found out this year. I’m 31. I no longer feel odd. It’s so good to understand yourself. I’m about to start crying to be honest. Crying from happiness
@@jaimejimenez4199 FABULOUS! Once we begin to accept ourselves, nothing else in the world matters. You can just enjoy it. The extra fun is noticing how people react to you if/when they spot something, but now it makes sense, it's no threat, no longer means you're (we're) 'stupid'.
Gets better.
I am 64 and I too discovered this about myself.
@@sonyastone6318 Hi Sonya, now you know, I hope you are learning to enjoy our special view on life - certainly not sheep!
@@batcheeboy5077 thanks for sharing that. A sad, typical and happy story all at the same time :)
I can see similarities in my life. I’m now alone again but actually, reasonably happy.
I am a loner but only because I love the internet so much and It is so educational.
People used to call me narcissist and egocentric for years, no one wanted to be my friend when I was very young because I was “different” and “weird”. Now that I am adult I still struggle making friends, sometimes it is hard to make a conversation and talk appropriately. I have a girlfriend and she wants me to stay with her most of the time, but I LOVE to be alone for a certain time and she gets mad for that.
I am 21 years old, a few months ago, my mom confessed I have Asperger’s syndrome and I never knew that, now that she confessed it, it explains everything.
The 'literal' thing is more of a misinterpretation of aspergers humour in most cases. It's our way of fooling around.
+SMNL019 hahahahaha! too good
I really do both I do the literal thing as a joke and by accident (usually when it is least convenient)
Mordred S I love the jokes tough. People react so confused when you look up to the skies and say "really? I don't see it..." after they said "it's raining cats and dogs"
+SMNL019 I know its hilarious
+SMNL019 For a while in my life I did believe it (6-7 years, don't judge me), but as soon as I knew that that was an expression, I pretended a lot that I didn't just to joke around xD
I have Aspergers. I was diagnosed when I was 11 and through my whole life I struggled with communication and social ques. But through years of observing and practicing I feel like I have mastered that and honestly I'm like the life of the party now and I have no difficulty gaining friends. Although I still struggle in other areas like being in large crowds and bright lights but it's manageable so I'm pretty happy where I am in my life. If anyone struggles with this just know that you can operate very well with this syndrome if you learn to control it.
how did you overcome it ?
@@Foxiniofficial Sounds like that person just had the 'Fake it until you make it' attitude.
you will end up with stress disorder with that, it dosnt matter if you learned to tolerate social situations well, its still taxing
I had that attitude, and it's so damn taxing like someone else mentioned@@Koeras16
I was diagnosed at 72. Know i have experienced a life of hell. Some people saw something different in me as a child already something that gave them the right to abuse and victimize me at 5 id been raped and sexually exploited for the rest of my life. I thank God for tears and melt downs cos they helped me cope. Today i know it was a walk of life i chose to do from heaven thinking i could do it for the teaching behind it. I look back and realize what a pure gem i was in handling my walk as best i could. I have taken the lessons and im not angry or bitter at anyone. It was my learning path and it made me an amazing person by not being bitter or angry. Im content that i walked my path as best i could considering the circumstances i needed to cope with.
Sending you so much Love 💗💗💗 you sound like a beautiful person Margareth. Blessings of Healing, wholeness, and peace to you 💕
Almost every person I've ever met of above average intelligence fits this.
Fritz Schumacher, Aspergers is common in talented and gifted people.
@@Le_8x It seems to be the definition of talented and gifted people as opposed to "normies".
@@fritzschumacher6047 That is more of a play on perception. For one- people with higher intelligence may not share the same interests as others or have a hard time finding people to interact with on their same level. As a result they may bury themselves in books or school work or some other task, and thus not develop good social skills. This is mainly due to a lack of practice rather than any innate difference. The jock who is hanging out with his friends every day developing social skills vs the nerd who is reading books and thus finds social interaction to be awkward. Then the second aspect would be a person of average intelligence may perceive the things a person of high intelligence says or does as weird simply because the person is thinking on a higher level.
Aspergers could simply be an extreme case of social isolation rather than a chemical imbalance (I don't know enough about it and even the "experts" don't seem to have clear information on what it is). For example, people who read a lot or are on the computer a lot tend to develop near sightedness. It is a real medical condition that results from the lifestyle of being a geek. Of course some people may be near sighted for other reasons, but perhaps a similar phenomenon could be occurring with social behaviors, motor coordination etc.
Don't get all high and mighty there isn't even that much evidence of increase in intelligence for people with asperger's just difference in interest. Its more of a cognitive trade off than a higher intelligence.
That’s me.
I'm 22 and was diagnosed with aspergers when I was very young. I had a lot of difficulty socializing with people when I was younger and felt very isolated. When I finally made friends as an early teenager I remember really struggling with appropriate behavior. I sort of felt like I could act however I wanted without consequence. I put a lot of effort into improving my social skills and some friends of mine now said they would have never guessed I was on the spectrum, I've even been told by teachers and friends that I have a high EQ and very socially aware. In terms of socializing I now deal with social anxiety but in very specific settings like at my small liberal arts college or around new coworkers. It's very odd and hard to explain. However in some places I feel very comfortable and come of as charismatic. I also have a hard time with sarcasm when I first meet someone, as well as my tone of voice not matching how I feel (so like I may sound annoyed at someone when I'm really not) I also thought the AD/HD aspect was interesting because it reminded me of how I sometimes struggle in reading or sitting down to do work. I'm sorry to ramble. I've just been thinking a lot about my relationship with aspergers and how it has changed or even if I had it to begin with. Cheers everyone!
Thank you! I'm 20 years old and its good to know that I am not the only one struggling with this. Hope 29 treats you well.
I just recently did an evaluation and I want to tell you that you shouldn't feel sorry for your tendencies because you're weird and it's beautiful. :)
I kept thinking "well what if I come off weird?" regarding common social interactions. So I apologize for it. But honestly, if I can't be myself, why would I try to change that to fit in? In those circumstances, I lose either way. So now I hope I'm weird. Because weird means something new and that means I have a purpose.
This guy just described my entire life in 6 minutes and 43 seconds
Upon reading 70% of these comments I feel like there are some things I must make clear
#1 Yes, Asperger's is a funny word.
#2 No, we're not retarded.
#3 While there are people with Asperger's who're assholes (just like they're people with any form of disability, mental illness, etc. who're assholes) most of the time we just don't understand that situation or the conversation, we don't intend to be mean.
#4 as with everyone we do have the ability to make friends, it's just more difficult for us.
#5 Asperger's was removed from the DSM5 because medical experts wanted all forms of autism to be grouped into the same category, most people on the spectrum (like me) prefer the term Asperger's over high-functioning autism for many reasons. For me they're A) because I found people understand Asperger's more than autism, and B) because the term autism as more weight to it that Asperger's. What I mean is that when most people hear Asperger's they think of people who're just odd or may need a bit of extra help. When people hear Autism they tend to think of those kids who sit in the corner and rock back and forward all day and talk to trees or whatever.
#6 We're not trying to be smartasses, that's just the way we talk.
#7 Ok, this is something I thought I'd never have to say in my whole life, Asperger's is NOT A FUCKING POLITICAL THEORY!!!
#8 we like making lists :P
Hey! Some of us do talk to trees. 😀
@@OneCatShortOfCrazy Yup' :) I've actually been told that I think and speak in lists, to me it's just being consice.
@Kagan Roy Sad when it impacts a career :(
@@atypicalaspie7208 "Hey! Some of us do talk to trees." Only time to worry is when the trees answer back ;)
My child's teachers suggested I get her checked for Asperger's. While waiting for the appointment I found this video. Surprise: THAT was the description of ....me. 😔
I got frusrated having this ailment , but with the use of dr imenherbal on UA-cam herbal remedy , i have been able to get rid of ADHD
When I was in 4th grade, I was diagnosed with ADHD but my family didn’t know much about it and didn’t want me to take any meds so we didn’t pay much attention to it. But now that I found this video I felt that he was completely describing me. And its crazy how many things now make sense.
Omg same here I was told I had adhd and the teachers and doctors wanted me to be on meds but my parents refused, watching this video is a big eye opener it also explains my life! I am going to ask my dr. about this!
I think I have AS and ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 18. Never got treatment but im trying to get it now that Im in my 20s
I have a 16 year old who has AS . He is socially isolated and that depresses him and he also suffers with anxiety. Loves mathematics but can’t be bothered with his other subjects. Luckily the school that he goes to supports him and they understand that he is different. Having a child who is different means that you are not only raising him but it also becomes a community issue. I have had to be involved throughout his schooling life but it comes with the package.
At 74, the inept feeling never goes away.
People with Asperger's design and build the world.
Normal people use what these gifted people do.
My boyfriend has this syndrome and I learn from it everyday. I try not to get mad, but at some point I do have to explain to him what the simple things are and to be honest I think its adorable. Even though I dont know what its like, I still love him no matter what and I still think people need to learn what this is so they don't be mean. It really bothers me when someone makes fun of him
Kaytlin Raymond I know what it’s like you just find out how to make weird noises you then get ADDICTED to them like I do this gawg gawg gawg also an elephant noises u with my touch at my lips lbumbum lbumbum please don’t laugh it’s a serious syndrome and I hope he dosent have it also I only have about 3 friends and I don’t like that everyone else has like 10! I don’t know if you can cure it but pray for him. And your bad at grammar so yeah watch my grammar it bad.
who name your friends and where you from?
I'm on the spectrum of asbergs minor Austium I use to have a gf I dated a girl for 8 months we broke.up for.4 months Than got back together than she broke up with me 7 months later maybe just fell out of love with me and I think its because of my disability
It's essentially by having Asperger's Syndrome. It's like you are emotionally cut off everyone else, you have to take things at face value as it is concrete, when you look at someone's face it appears as essentially a blue screen of death or blurry as if can't read facial expressions, it is guessing every step of the way. It just repeats and repeats.
As since you have no collective consciousness, you are forced to do individual things only as you can't understand or feel other's emotions, but instead you have to work your ass off by rationalizing the most mundane things ever.
It takes a toll on everyone as they will always say you're a weirdo, but how are you supposed to know your odd behavior if you have no collective consciousness?
Kaytlin Raymond my son has Aspergers and I understand completely. He is now 28 and wants nothing to do with me. It saddens me greatly because I love him, but I understand 😢
This is the clearest explanation we've ever witnessed of Aspergers. Thank you Dr Sheldon.
Thank him for what? Explaining a disorder no longer recognized by the medical community?
This hits home for me, at 66 it describes most of my growing up period in the sixties. I was fortunate enough to have teachers from the second grade onward who gave me space. Extra books in second grade, individual reading program in 4th grade, advanced classes with other nerds in middle school, and X-classes in high school . I never had very many friends but I found peace in my solitude. Oddly enough my firstborn son is the same, now on is late thirties he still lives with his father, and works at the same job I obtained for him at the golf course I was working at, a groundskeeper with an MBA. I don’t think he ever understood why I had to leave his father (severe emotional, physical abuse) we were so close until I had to leave.
not having many friends means they understand that most friendships are shallow … they just do not consider people that have shallow relationships as actual friends … some people think everyone is their friend
I am 20, and I already have an official diagnosis of Aspergers. I generally found it difficult to communicate and interact well in group conversations and often remained silent and inattentive, yet I would successfully communicate during one to one conversations. Furthermore, I generally struggled to maintain eye contact while conversing, as I feared how I would be coming out. However, in academics, I excelled in mathematics while achieving mediocre to low grades in other subjects and struggled to sustain focus for long durations. The factors of attention deficiency and anxiety had further impeded my outlook and emotional well-being, leading to me questioning my abilities. After watching this video, I am becoming a lot more self-satisfied compared to how I was during the diagnosis. Additionally, I am getting reminders of my obsessions with international affairs, politics, and maps, which appeared awkward in the company of people, and it has made me self-satisfied.
P.S. Apologies if I didn't articulate well, as the English language was my weakest subject.
It’s interesting to me that you apologise for your vocab and yet this reads as more detailed than average
@imprwikiimprwiki6898 I thought so. However, I put this comment down out of fear that someone would hurl abuses at me. I'm getting the impression that I wasn't thinking rationally.
Adarshvarma. I love how you write "it has made you self-satisfied". What a good expression.
Nice. ❤
@Pippie5555 Thank you for your kind words.
I just recently starting going out with this extremely nice guy, he’s sweet and caring and I love him to bits. It was around the first few times we started calling that he explained he had Aspergers and how it was on the spectrum. Growing up I had a few friends who had it but I never really noticed. I’ve been taking the past few weeks to study up on it more and it’s been really fascinating to learn about, it’s also helped me better understand some of the things he isn’t very good at or triggers him. This video was really helpful! It also expanded more in depth some of things that were confusing me ((like the social cue things and blunt honesty. I mean, I appreciate the honesty, but it is a bit shocking when I’m randomly sitting with him and straight says he wants to hook up.)) Thank you for the video 🥰
Hi girl! That's legit why I'm here! I just started going out with a guy and am learning for the same reasons. I know more about how it affects children but not so much adults, so I'm trying to learn more about adults with Aspergers so that I can understand him better. He is also really nice and caring like the guy you know, but blunt and doesn't always get cues. The nice thing is that they are usually extremely smart and intellectual, and verbally sophisticated :)
I'm got very lucky with my gf. She understands me even though she is quite normal.
When I, out of nowhere, tell her that I want to lick her face as a demonstration of love she laughs a lot.
But I really mean it.
Anyway, I'm glad you and your SO are getting along as well.
Wait a guy with asperger syndrome doing hook ups.... amazing :O
@@strongindependentblackwoma1887 Er yeah we ended up not working out since he literally just wanted a hook up and got pissed when I kept saying no lmao
@@elisabethsalmeron4502 yikes that escalated quickly
It’s only after I leave a conversation do I realize what the person’s body language meant, if I think of it at all. I was told to talk about things that interest others, or ask them about themselves. But I could see that even though I was asking basic questions, the people were looking away.
But even then I still didn’t not know how to walk away from the conversation. So, finally one person did. I look back on conversations from decades ago and realize the person gave me an incredible amount of body language to indicate they needed to leave, but I kept talking to them. In the middle of a conversation it is difficult to understand body language in real time. I’ve also been called pit on my body language numerous times, either being told it is not appropriate or dismissive, or my body language is saying one thing, and I’m saying another. As a child I always felt like other people understood social situations, even children my age, but I didn’t seem to understand. I always felt like other people were given a book of explanations, but I wasn’t. I was often laughed at when I didn’t understand what was going on. I had severe ADD symptoms, but no one had any answers or understanding back then. I was considered “intelligent”, so many times my struggles were overlooked.
I have terrible balance and coordination, bumping into things constantly. Things like dodge ball were a nightmare. I was very bad at sports. Math made sense to me, and initially I excelled at math. But home life problems distracted me from my ability to learn.
My dad was always socially inappropriate, talked about himself, lost interest in conversations if things didn’t understand him. No matter how much of his behavior was brought to his attention, he just never seemed to “get it”. Like me he had severe ADD, and ADHD, was alcoholic, but the two of us understand humor. I still take things literally. I have neighbors that say “stop over any time”, but something tells me they really don’t want me to. Or people will say “call me”, or be nice, but don’t really mean it. Others know this, and understand social niceties, but I don’t.
Do I have this syndrome? I don’t know. I’ve noticed I want social interaction less and less, and my ability lately, to communicate with others has really gotten impaired. I think when I don’t practice at being social, I do more poorly.
I’m glad for the internet. Boy, do I wish I had it when I was younger.
Dont ask the internet, ask a medical licensed professional.
"I look back on conversations from decades ago" i think many of us have no idea how "wierd" this sentence is for normies. i found its the one that confuses em most. when you start conversation from where it left 6months ago.
one of my mates asked me that, could you atleast give some premises to what are you talking about
Just recently been looking into myself as someone with adhd and aspergers it honestly makes alot of sense now..
Diagnosed today at 20 years old. Crying in front of my computer, so glad to finally have an answer to who I am and why I felt so wrong and different.
There's nothing wrong with you
Yep I felt the same way when I read about AS and ADHD too. Currently trying to get evaluated again so I can at least start treatment for the adhd part 🤦🏾♀️
I have aspergers and I have lots of friends who are nice to me
+Liam Cruz i wouldn't be happy saying that, they're being nice to you just to make you feel you're not left out
BoyDanny93 no they not they like me as a friend
Fern Coleone shut up
+Liam Cruz sorry, I misread the lines. yup it's good, those are your true friends, hang on to them.
+Fern Coleone ok
I love how he managed to deliver such amount of information in such a short time
@Wesley Hinson doc herbs ?
This is my mother. I am so relieved that she was not as cruel purposely as I had previously believed.
Thank you for making and sharing this video. Also, thank you to everyone in this comment section who shared their thoughts, thinking process, experiences, feelings, insights and desires. May you continue reaching your goals and happiness.
One sided conversation hit the hardest for me. I always have a wall up and don’t let ppl in it’s burned a lot of relations. People don’t truly get to know you for you until they see your highs and your lows and I only exhibit my highs like I’m always okay. Always there for ppl but don’t want no one there for me. Rather suffer in silence than seek help it’s toxic but I’m getting better haha
I really wish someone would have told me this year's ago. I was socially isolated for almost most of my life. That led to obesity, self isolation, shyness, slow learning, no opportunities to play any sports and living in fear because of being gay. I have been different from my family for years. But I feel now as if it is a continuing process for me to overcome my disabilities, even if I still have moments when I get mad at myself. But at the end of the day, I would rather have one true friend than a group of large false friends. If I have no boyfriend right now, I am at peace with being single. I am more active now than when I was younger. Most importantly, I had lost a incredible amount of weight. So thanks for sharing this!
how to lose weight; eat once a day or not at all, no carbs no sugars, + exercise + all vitamins and minerals,,,
I'm asperger but I can understand sarcasm and I'm also a comedian. I'm into the minority of course.
@amin_ rahman he's saying he has Asperger's. He said it different
I have an excessively sarcastic mother (did I spell it correctly).
That's why I understand sarcasm.
It was always: understand the joke or DIE.
@amin_ rahman Autism Spectrum Disorder affects everyone on the spectrum differently. If you meet one person on the spectrum, you've only met one. But what everyone on the spectrum has in common, is that they face difficulties/possess traits in all of these areas; social communication & interaction, hyper/hypo-sensitivies (to touch, smell, textures, sight, sound, balance and movement), engage in repetitive behaviours, obsessive interests and routines. Having difficulties in all of these areas will look different to one Autistic individual in comparison to another Autistic individual.
LoL I’ve heard the majority of standup comedians are on the autistic spectrum. It’s because their minds deconstructed what humor is to recreate it.
My humour only consists of sarcasm and hyperboles
Isn't there a better way to say Aspergers? I forget the correct pronunciation. People keep sounding it out "Ass Burgers".
+Josef Goebel In UK it's pronounced ass-per-gers
+Josef Goebel I just say it like "asp" as in the snake, asp. Asp - ergers.
I literally just call it ass burgers because it's easier to say and it makes me happy :)
I say it with the 'P'. -As-PER-gers
It's asp er jers spelt aspergers
I think some of these things come from a feeling of being overwhelmed or too intense. I have a hard time with eye contact because it is so intimate, and social interactions are energy consuming and intense. This video is a great explanation of "this" 😁
My I.Q. is 176. I have aspergers syndrome. When I first found out. I didn't want to accept it. Now that I have. It has helped me to understand myself a lot better. I have all the issue's that come with it.
It took me a while to accept my aspergers aswell
I struggled a lot with AS as a kid but over time after becoming more aware of what I was doing I was able to stop it. I now have very little issue interacting with others and I feel more self aware than others thanks to that. I was lucky in the regard that I didn’t develop any neurological disorders such as ADHD, anxiety, or depression. My biggest problem was just that I would regularly act out in ways that were sometimes off putting to others. As I matured this issue slowly resolved itself through self reflection and experiencing further relationships.
I love the way you have explained all of this. I have a diagnosis of Asperger’s and am have my six year tested as well. I see many symptoms I exhibited as a child. I’m hoping that whatever the issue is that we can make school experience for him so he doesn’t go through the same issues that I did.
Right on the nose! This guy actually IS an expert, and is obviously NOT just some dumb neurotypical with a degree and title like most of the so-called "experts" are out there! Just for that, I am subscribing! Thank you, sir, for actually being professional, and spreading truth and awareness, and not just horror stories and lies!
P.S: I excelled in all my classes, bringing home multiple 100's on my report cards in high school. I'm not the only one, but although it is surprisingly common, especially in math, it is not something to automatically be expected. Also, I have a strange learning style: either I get something completely, or I don't get it at all, and if I learn something I "don't get at all", it just clicks almost instantly!
People mistake talking about yourself a lot as being narcissistic or self-centered but I do it because I don't KNOW things about other people, but I can speak accurately about my own experiences. I thought it was rude to talk about others anyway 🤷
I'd check my reasoning if I was you.
That chart and the man's reading of it was the best explanation of Asperger's Syndrome that I have ever heard. Perfect. Thank you.
I couldn’t agree more. It is excellent.
To marry a person like this is very challenging. One must love with a deep heart. Many dont understand what mild spectrum autism syndrome is! If you find yourself married to one with this condition, my heart goes out!! Even more so when children are involved! They have AMAZING QUALITIES! They contribute to society in many ways and are in most situations extremely successful. But God help you if your married to one diagnosed with this. Even MILD its beyond significant! You need to be an independent person, strong, with high empathy.
I'm certain that I have this. I'm almost in my mid-20s and I learned about Asperger's Syndrome not too long ago. When I was in high school, I was diagnosed with social anxiety. In my early 20's, I was diagnosed with ADHD. After being diagnosed with both of these, I still felt like I have something more than just ADHD and social anxiety. For a long time, I couldn't figure out what is really wrong with me until this year. I never watched this but I heard that when Elon Musk was on SNL, he said that he had Asperger's. At the time, I heard of it before but never knew what it was. So I googled it and the characteristics were identical to what I have
I wish this was my teacher, he explains it all slowly and nicely.
I was labeled with Asperger's syndrome. I am working on a PhD in psychology, now, and I find this label a little strange for me personally. Although I have had communication problems with people, I imagine they may not be any greater than neuro-typical people. My suggestion for people with Asperger's is to explore Buddhist psychology. The stresses of modern life may be partially to blame for this Asperger's concept. Many people are having trouble integrating cognitions and affects.
They say Einstein probably had Asperger’s and his words mirror my own thoughts, so LIKE this if you agree . . . . "There came a turning point for me -- I came to understand that the virtue of my type lies in what I think, and not in how well I express my feelings -- My thoughts encompass me, so I can't easily engage in chatter; just as one wielding a hammer can't then easily play the violin -- I can love humanity it seems, but I'm just not cut out for close personal ties -- I've never really belonged to any country, circle of friends, or even to my own family -- My need to restore within myself has increased over the years -- The resulting isolation is often bitter, but I have never really regretted it completely -- If I'm cut off from the sympathy of others, then I'm also independent of their opinions and prejudices -- I feel the Solace and Virtue that lies in the Insignificance of the Individual and it makes me happy -- I have always sought to gain just a glimpse of the order that lies hidden in nature -- Our search for understanding is all that really matters -- The rest can truly be forgotten.” . . . . Albert Einstein, "How I See the World" . . .
Balanced Stereo damn. I could see myself writing this at some point in my life. Especially the inability to form close ties, not regretting being alone even when it’s hard, and finding that the highest calling and purpose one can have in life is learning and understanding the world.
All fucken makes sense now 🤯
@@SatanenPerkele Nein
I have Tourette’s syndrome and I’ve always wondered if I can have Asperger’s too. I tend to have obsessions, particularly with 80s culture. Been obsessed with it for 18 years now. I dress it, collect photos that were taken from that era, do lots and lots of research on the decade because it just seems so awesome as well as collecting anything that was from that decade. Especially the year 1986, anything to do with that year entices me! The economics, educational system, political views. It was so different back then (even though I wasn’t around). Anything from that era and I mean anything gets me excited. The sound quality of. Lives from that era was great too. And I love sharing my affection with that time with everyone.
I really appreciate your chart and in-depth explanation. Life is hard. This helped at least one lone soul.
I feel the same
@@crazy4jas I feel the same too
I never realised until now but most of these symptoms or quirks I struggled with in my early life but managed to overcome in my adult life, and in no way was that easy. I'm 30 now and I'm only just starting to feel normal and accepted compared to my peers. I wish I was properly diagnosed when I was younger because maybe I would of avoided or better coped with things growing up. throughout my adult life I've been screamed and yelled at I've been emotionally abused I've been physically beaten, all because I'm different from other people, but I've managed to overcome all of that, and I'm only just now starting to function like a normal adult. I still have a long way to go but this is inspiring.
I relate to this. I'm an aspie (low functioning) and I've been through something similar. Actually I had an aspie friend who was outstandingly bright and even though he was a bit socially awkward , he managed pretty well and was very high functioning as opposed to me , I've been expelled from two different colleges due to low grades which were caused by my depression and my social awkwardness and I'm friendless, I'm not that smart either so I compare myself a lot to other people which makes me suicidal at times. I'm 23 btw
@@TheAnarchist99 I get that. I am very insecure about my intelligence as well, I was always treated at the "dumb kid" in school. I'm 30 now and although I do feel a little insecure from time to time, I can confidently say that it does get easier with time.
My son was diagnosed with this, he was off the charts with music, science and math. Give him any instrument and he can play it...quite well. He was doing calculus in grade three and took college Organic chem in grade 11. His father and I are musicians, so the music part was never surprising...oh and his father has a Physics degree and I taught math and science. So we just thought he was normal. I am beginning to wonder if this can be inherited
I find that music and working on cars helps me to focus. Music helps to soothe my mind wether I'm playing it on guitar or listening to it. Working on cars has helped tremendously with my fine motor skills and it makes me think of the steps I need to take to fix an issue. My father has pointed out to me that I tend to get a little ahead of myself, but have aquired a knowledge that, at times, rivals his own. I don't really agree with him, but I take it as a compliment nonetheless.
i cant stand not listening to music without getting annoyed and as for hobbies learning,,, and finding out secrets governments are hiding,,,
I have aspergers. Came here to learn more. I definitely have it.
thank you for your video. I recognise myself in what you are describing. Such a hard life I've had. Made efforts again and again to no avail. Could not continue teaching as social contacts were exhausting me. Did not have a successful life at all. I 'm glad to be old in a way. Have a family who did not help at all;
Being Asperger's we always feel overwhelmed with social interactions because how much the stimulus we face at those times, we overwhelms by how much sensory and emotions come from many people at once
Oh and i feel so stressed out with 3d gaming and epileptic inducing videos, my brain couldn't handle that and go panic attacks....
This was very helpful! Thank you for this video! I am a 27 year old male and I have a lot of the symptoms of aspergers. I am considering doing some sort of test for aspergers just to hopefully help me in life and understand myself more and hopefully explain why I am how I am. I've struggled so much with having friends and have always been kind of a loner. I am married though and I think and actual diagnosis of aspergers would help my marriage and help my wife understand me more. The way I am holds me back in life as far as jobs. I've worked since I was 18 and I drive but most jobs are very uncomfortable for me and I have major issues with change and I like a routine schedule. I am very socially awkward. I take anxiety medication and it helps some but I feel like if I actually do have aspergers it would explain a lot for me. Being an adult is pretty hard for me with the responsibility that comes with being an adult. I don't understand sarcasm and I take things literally almost all the time and body language is hard for me to read. Also I think my wife might have this or a form of autism so that might make sense why we match so well together, lol.
I finally figured out I was autistic a few months ago and my husband finally told me that he'd pretty much always known it. I think he thought I'd be upset if he told me, but actually, so many things now slot into place with my diagnosis, and I no longer think I was odd.
I was, and am, autistic, and I am so happy to know this at last.
I'm 65, by the way - so it took me a long time to work it out, but knowing that there were countless people in my family with autism, and figuring out my son's autism, helped me along the way.
@Wesley Hinson Reported. That is nonsense.
I grew up like that. I was fascinated with entomology, mythology and moved to other topics. Also a perfect memory but I did not like to relate to people. I learned at 18 to start watching and mimicking the way people who successfully relate to others. I went through the military after and appeared normal by acting like others I observed. I became a good mimic. I was in intelligence specialists but changed after 3 years due to a cut down. I actually came up with new ideas in the military that changed things, like using computers back when it was windows 3.1 and wordperfect to print maintenance cards and the items listed. Also I came up with changes in the special order system that had me investigated for a unheard of sales and stock turn over. 1.3 was normal mine was 4.1. Then I was taken to a meeting of all ships store people to give a live presentation of how to do the job and was elevated in that area to the leading sales expert. I was injured after I got out and only do light security now. Anyone want an old broken sales expert with asperger's to work for or with them? I am also great with computers.
You’ve described my 79 year old husband EXACTLY. His family had known something was wrong with him. But back then it wasn’t looked into.....probably because they were a British family who moved to Johannesburg South Africa when Colin was seven. Also, perhaps back then in the ‘40’s & ‘50’s, Asperger’s hadn’t actually been looked into & named yet. Colin never was able to learn to tie the laces of shoes; never learned to ride a bike; never learned to drive a car. But he was especially interested in several certain topics, memorizing with ease the details of each subject (geography, biblical facts, astronomy) & easily memorizes phone numbers. He’s in a good mood as long as his daily routine isn’t interrupted. But when invariably is....from time to time.....he becomes angry & agitated & rude. Later on, when he’s able to return to his routine, he apologizes. He has friends.....but prefers to not spend time getting together with them & chatting.....unless they’re licensed ham radio operators like he himself is. Before he & I met....& married when he was 65 & I was 60.....I’m told that Colin always avoided getting together with church friends for a chat before the service.....or at any other function.....but his friends told me Colin became a much-changed man after we got together. I influenced & encouraged him enough to draw him out. Now, after 14 years of marriage, we laugh a lot & joke around a lot,......but I’m still struggling with patience. Living with an Aspie isn’t easy! 😁👍🏻❤️🇨🇦
I was diagnosed with Aspergers back in 2003 I was 17 years old & back then there was very little information about the disorder but thankfully nowadays there is way more help out there .
It's nice to know there are many others out there just like me in the sense of having this. But I'd like to think of it as a gift we have been given. We are definitely different, but in our own special way! I just hope that those who are not like us, would see our world for just a moment and understand we are human too. Thank you for this wonderful video :-)
You nailed this video! Such good info. I wish I saw this 10 years ago when we knew nothing about Aspergers. Teachers need to learn about Aspergers in the child’s Kindergarten years. We didn’t find out til my son was 14, two years ago.
I was born in 1961. If I'd been born in 1991, when general awareness of autism began to grow, I'm quite certain I would have been diagnosed as being somewhere on the autism spectrum. Instead, I was just a weird kid. This video and many of the public comments reflect some of my own experiences in life.
Somewhere in my 20s, I learned that my ability to stay very focused for extended periods, among other traits, was something most people don't have. It served me well over the course of my career. So, to be clear, it isn't all bad. And self-awareness is a big plus in anyone's life.
Oh ... and I was a master of social distancing lonnng before it was a thing. :-D
I just wanted to say, eight years after publishing this video on UA-cam, its message is still having a positive impact on the audience it reaches. Thank You!
Well well , I could have written this myself , thanks for your comment ,
by the way , I'm from '61 too , just turned 62 ,
greetings from A'dam... 🍻
Oh , forgot to say this about social distancing ,
my anxiety and problem with family distancing ,
I was out , but couldn't refuse a nice invitation years ago , a family reunion ,
and then it happens , you're sucked in again ,
I thought I was out , but they keep on pulling me back in !
There is a golden rule amongst Aspies ,
At all costs , keep the family at distance...
I didn't know I had Aspergers until 6th Grade. I was confused with myself, and didn't feel like I eas doing the right things. But now I know I have it, and know the Symptoms, I now understand why I felt out of place. I am learning to control myself, such as the Sensitive Hearing, Body Movements (Which I used to swing my arms around back and forth, Clapping my hands Front and Back, sometimes hitting people), and trying to get better at the Discussing Self vs Others. I am Fascinated with Movie Making, Directing, and Acting
Me too..
It's totally me ☺️. I have a post graduate degree in literature , i have studied a lots of different subjects from psychology to quantum physics from evolution to astronomy . , I don't have many friends , it's just me and my boyfriend , my parents and doctor always thought i have learning difficulty, but i was just different , my parents and other family members always hated me , but because I can't read people i don't mind them much , but i grew up after reading Sherlock Holmes i have started to observe people's reaction , nature , attitude toward me , and now I am really good in reading people . I can predict what their future actions is going to be . I accept that my difference is not my fault . It makes me exceptional .Yeah , i have difference and may be not always my actions were good , but i don't regret anything anymore . I must move on , if my parents can't accept me because I am different than i have to move out .
I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at 3. I actually think this is making my life better than it should be. I only have girls as friends. :) I have more time than others to take tests. I am sensitive, which is maybe why I get bullied a lot. X( But my friends obey me. Whatever I say, like let's play Minecraft, they do it with me. Thank you, Doc!
Tyler Ford You're like me. Just to let you know, I get shoved in my locker at school, I get beaten up, just because I have Asperger's
Kids at my school have these rumors about me having a disorder or diabetes or anything like that. Anyways, thank you!
Thank you very much :D
Do you have a wii u?
Cool. You should get one. With MarioKart 8. Do you have the NES?
I was diagnosed with it a few years ago... Had always been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder, although it's highly likely that I've got both. To me, from experience, it feels like a state of ultra-awareness that permeates into every part of life. Since I am so aware, whatever topic/thing I deliberately focus my conscious awareness on, I become an absolute expert of, because I familiarize myself in depth with everything there is to know about it. I know that sounds braggadocios, but it's very literally what it feels like
complete submersion,,
As someone with Aspergers i had no idea what it actually was. This video helps alot.
I have Asperger syndrome and it's kind of hard to explain cause my pov in my opinion is very conplex
I'm 22 and have always felt like something is off. I never got diagnosed when I was younger cause people just assumed I was lazy or stupid, but the specifics of doing sports and such alone, and the balance one really caught me. The amount of times I roll over my ankle when running, and it doesnt sprain or break fascinates me, and my partner says I sometimes have t rex arms.
‘Anxiety becomes an issue at certain points with individuals with Asperger’s.’ 🤔 Yes, the ever present threat of destitution as the aftermath of retaliation for violating unwritten rules can have that effect.
I've been struggling to understand exactly what it means to have AS, and why it's so hard for me to communicate effectively with other people, and I have a sort of working theory.
I believe that the conscious part of my brain is more active than normal, and the subconscious part is less active than normal. I think that body language and facial expressions and things like that aren't really perceived on a conscious level. I think it's more of an instinct than anything else.
So, because I'm forced to try to understand instinct on a conscious level, without any primary experience of it, it becomes just another intellectual puzzle to be solved. Unfortunately, it doesn't conform to any specific logical structure, and so I can't really form a reliable theory of how it should work.
This turns what should be a simple, friendly conversation (for example), into a desperate effort to reconcile past experiences with what is happening now, and select an appropriate action accordingly.
That is why I prefer verbal communication; because there is an apparent structure to it which can be learned and processed consciously. The reason I use language so literally, and get frustrated when other people don't, is because this undermines the one thing that language has going for it; the potential to be unambiguous. When this happens, verbal communication becomes meaningless and abstract, and leaves me effectively blind, deaf and dumb.
For me, talking to a NT person is like asking for directions to a specific place, and getting the vague response "that way".
I don't want to be rude but is there a correlation between Asperger's and being asexual?
i dont even need to communicate i already know the persons state of being by their voice speed of movements what they are looking at or thinking about what they want etc,,, i could even sometimes Pierce into their neurobiology energy level vitamin chart (too high or lacking nutrients) the reason for their physical condition etc,,,
@@stephaniemarie5845 I think it has more of a correlation with aromantic since people with Asperger's can't understand others feelings.
You have overcomplicated something that you don't even understand.
Why do I... deserve this disability?
+Egg many famous people have learning disabilities too
it seems we're the lucky one, yes?
+Noah Adamcik you are mean. I have aspergers and ADHD
I have Aspergers too and I say the same thing it's hard when I was a child and growing up I get laugh at from middle school due to my speech impediment I was always quiet and afraid to speak out but a few people I met and become my friend accepts the way I am the man I love has ADHD and he's good at grammar he helps me out and my parents help me with my memory exercise (short term memory) I have hard time remembering my task and what people are saying I do remember the people I love around me I know their names it's just I don't remember my oldest relatives but anyways I feel your pain
better than having ADHD. You can actually be productive
It was back in 70s or 80s they would call me mentally Retarded. I always felt different then everyone. I'm 50 now and I still have problems. But I saw this video it made so much sense. Such as I isolate not many friends. Have anxiety and depression. So many things made sense but no one gets me..I get very depressed over it..people get angry at me because I don't understand. I feel shame embarrassed. Sorry for going on...
normie: assburger
me, an intellectual: ASPERGERS
Southpark
Normie Osborn, is that you?
As a Human Calculator, I can see that you are a certified Assburger my son.
I'm 44. I'm not diagnosed, yet this explains me and my life.