Why Are Indian Families Against Adopting Children?
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- Опубліковано 19 вер 2024
- This week, The Swaddle team explores the history of adoption practices, and why adopting a child is often a 'last resort' for families in India.
Edited by: Neha Shekhawat
Scripted by: Anushka Dias
Presented by: Anahita Sachdev
Visual research: Samiksha Mathur
Produced by: Shrishti Malhotra
Creative Supervisor: Karla Bookman
Want to learn more about the research in this video? Check out these readings:
-Macchiwalla, Ashraf I. "Inter-country adoption of related children of Indian origin." International Social Work 24, no. 3 (1981): 8-13.
-Pande, Amrita. "“It may be her eggs but it’s my blood”: Surrogates and everyday forms of kinship in India." Qualitative sociology 32, no. 4 (2009): 379-397.
-Bharadwaj, Aditya. "Why adoption is not an option in India: the visibility of infertility, the secrecy of donor insemination, and other cultural complexities." Social science & medicine 56, no. 9 (2003): 1867-1880.
-Riley, Nancy E., and Krista E. Van Vleet. Making families through adoption. Sage Publications, 2011.
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The weird thing is this shows in our attitude towards adopting animals as well. Instead of adopting Indian breeds that need homes and more suitable to this climate, people pay huge sums of money to buy 'pure bred' exotic dogs. It's awful.
I reckon this has got more to do with inferiority complex plaguing Indians and also the fact that they feel that dogs of foreign breed are better aesthetically.
true
People will still pay more and care for that dog compare to a adopted child
@@at1906_ikr 'pseudo American' is a real problem in India
I cringe every time I see a dog from colder climates (ex. Huskies) in the sweltering heat of Kolkata
i can’t explain how they pick up topics that are considered a taboo and explain the stigma around them so beautifully. they’re not just. wing vocal but can we have one moment to appreciate thr digital art skills? like it’s so spot on !!
Exactly sis
😅😅liberal ideology and lgbt has all this thing included.
Well, to be fair, it's a taboo in many asian countries as well. So it's not just India.
@Natasha Thaker that's nice
@@misskrishna1 true
I hate the weird mentality of people "blood is thicker than water"
Exactly.... and you know they don't even tell us the full idiom.... blood is thicker than water is incomplete... the full idiom is "Blood of covenant is thicker than the water of womb"
@@deka997 what does it mean?
@@mmmm...098 The saying actually means that bonds that you've made by choice are more important than the people that you are bound to by the water of the womb.
@@ish8279 oh
I.e., the blood you shed with your comrades at the battlefield makes your bond stronger than that with your own biological family.
Famous Actress Shobhana adopted a girl child as her daughter and raising her beautifully.. She never got married.
Whenever she is giving an interview, people always ask: why did you not marry?
@Minakshi Agarwal and ravina tandon
@Посейдон Афродита Дионис Exactly!! You and your mom must be such a trouble for your father *:(*
Sushmita sen kids and Salman Khan's sister also
@Посейдон Афродита Дионис Well seeing your comments, I'm quite sure your mother *must* be a troublemaker...coz how else would you have inherited this trait when your father is a saint
Your point being?
when I say "I don't like kids" I often get misunderstood. I want to be a mother but I don't want to give birth biologically and the idea doesn't sit right with my mother. She says she would love grandchildren but doesn't like this idea of adopting a child. If you love children so much, u would love any child that exists. I can't selectively love for being "apna-paraya". I would love to be a source of joy to a motherless child. And adoption is always my first preference ♥️
Also adoption has been observed in predator-prey relationships too. so sad that humans behave worse than wild animals.
This is my exact thinking as well, and my mom has the same reaction to my thoughts too. My first choice is adoption as well. It's crazy, but there's another thing we share haha! I'm a namjoon Stan too! Take care 🥰❤️
@@sunainaroychowdhury5642 😊😊😊😊😊😊☺️ u too 💜💜💜
Same thinking girl.. Whenever I say I don't want to marry and I'll adopt a child my mom literally gets offensive.. Or when I say I will get married but we will adopt a child rather than producing one.. She always be like it will your husband's choice... Like it's my body 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️... I really don't understand this thing.. And when ofc we try to reason our parents they be like "you're talking back to me" 😐
I'd also have adoption as first preference IF I device to have kids. I really hate kids and I can't even take care of myself but yk... pEoPle ChAnGe
@@mallikasharma13 Also I read somewhere today.
Reasons not to have kids -
1. The kid will also have me and I don't think they are ready for that kind of responsibility
I felt that in my soul.
Like that's the most valid reason ever
I'm an adopted child and I love my parents to death.
They gave me a life full of happiness, care and opportunities.
Who knows how my life would've been if I wasn't adopted?
I consider myself lucky.
awww i hope they are proud of you
I bet you are very very lucky. I can’t imagine a life if i were an orphan without bio or adoptive parents. There are so many unfortunate children around me, i wish they could be as lucky
That's amazing. But would you adopt a child too? Do you think adopting a child would bring the human population under control? Do you think humans have any self-control or any respect for human life such that they all adopt Anti-Natalism? I question my own birth. So, I'd never be able to adopt and set a bad example to show the world that life is important. Humanity need to reduce population drastically. 8 Billion is a sick number. Too many animal and bird species have gone extinct. Those innocent beings that can't even complain have just gone... wiped out. All due to the LUST and Greed of humanity. Hence I wish humans go extinct. No offence to anyone. But that is the idea behind Anti-Natalism.
@@shalwarkhameez1461 🥺 ❤️
@@June_815 Yes everyday I'm grateful for this life.
I really hope every child in this world grows up with people loving him/her😭
In the film Good Newwz Kiara's character says that "Apna khoon toh apna hi hota hai" so she was okay with multiple miscarriages and deteriorating her own health but not adoption 😑
Exactly 🙏
Translation?
@@jinhitofficial6881 Blood is thicker than water (Biological children are better due to the "pure blood" thing)
@@anupamaMall thank you... This line is disgusting...
@@jinhitofficial6881 Army......💜
"Apna khoon" is overrated. Wish we can all adopt this change in mindset.
The bond is necessary not blood! But the bond between biological mother and child is far more strong from all the 9 months of care and birth pain. Adoption is a need, I agree....but for couples who can't have their own kids because adoption procedure is very long as couples who already have own children are adopting
@@sahilprusty "you're not my real dad. Don't tell me what to do. "
That's why..
@@sahilprusty People give the excuse that in some cases even ur own child can mistreat u. There's no guarantee it won't happen with an adopted one.
Better my own blood than someones ungrateful kid betraying my trust.
Keep coping bro
@@dannyarcher9002 some way you are right
Some ways you can be wrong as well
It's true that it'll hurt more than own child if non biological child says that rudely to parents
But generalising is wrong
Even what this channel is saying is wrong
Who a parent like to adopt or not is their own choice
Afterall they will be only responsible for their choices right not anyone else
So it's not kind of a debate to do
@@songcafe2122 finally a sensible answer.
Encouragement of adoption =/= shaming those who don't want to
Daughters in their own home is called as " PARAYA DHAAN". No wonder why people in India don't adopt children.
Whoa, did you just return from the 90s?
@@chaitanyagupta6668 no she is saying truth.
@@veryconfused9768 Girls always prove that why always a girl ran away from the house for marriage??
@@GAUTAMSINGH-qw7wq girls run away from home for education also, because their parents don't allow them saying age ho gayi shaadi ki. You are a guy you won't understand. When you are 20-22 you want a good job and settled life and get to enjoy with your friends. We have to ask for permission and going on overnight trips is forbidden and we are told after marriage go with your husband.
@@potatoface1041 I am saying about marriage. Many girls have got all freedom still they ran away or eloped with their lover. Boys don't eloped with girls because they know their house is their everything and their mother & father is his responsibilities.
I don't wanna sound like a bummer..
But commercial mainstream movies like Good newz are actually reinforcing the "khoon to khoon hota hai" notion in our minds and it's truely awful.
Yes But the issue of adoption was raised in one scene. Did u catch it?
@@swatisaini6447 Well but they dropped that idea right
Cuz of the same stigma of apna khoon and all
@@ananyabanerjee5002 atleast they raises the question
I'm not defending it but the whole movie was about the confusion of iska DNA and uska DNA. Adopt kar lete toh plot hi change ho jata na. Ideally adoption ko promote karna chahiye lekin jo society hai wohi dikhaya gaya hai
@@artraft3669 I agree!
I plan on adopting in the future. If my partner doesn't favour it, I guess I'll do it alone.
Edit: I did not expect so many replies on this matter. Thank you for the support and suggestions, you guys.
Marry with a partner who also wants to adopt.
@@Shkk There's an option. I hope I find someone like that.
@@dreamer9375 yes discuss it before marrying someone otherwise there will be lots of problem in your marrid life or adopt as a single.
@@dreamer9375 being single parent is extremely tuff. You sure u will be able to handle it alone?
👍
There are many studies done to ask the "nature Vs nurture" question. It is proven now that no matter where the child came from, he/she can be nurtured/trained to be anything and that training by parents/teachers is what makes the child's personality.
You know, keep this secret between you and me... *Whisper
I'm going to be featured in TEDx for title "Nature vs. Nurture".
@@meettheartist5506 omg... Best of luck 😅💫
@@meettheartist5506 Good luck bro. 👍
Source:trust me bro.
@Dr strange too small of a sample size i guess. Plus one study is not enough,also don't know of it is peer reviewed.
I'll give you another reason. Whenever I tell my family I will adopt a child, they say you won't know the caste of the baby, what if its from a lower caste, and this mindset just breaks my heart.
Same.
I’m sorry for you. This is the reason why I straightaway tell people that caste system is outdated and it shouldn’t exist anymore. Idk how people feel but this toxic system needs to be extinct. By the way my bua adopted a healthy baby girl last year ❤️
Wow, the caste system still exist in Indian? I thought majority of it would have broken away since college is becoming a bigger thing around the global.
@@alicea5 the younger generation has a bigger hope for change. But it always comes back to our parents and relatives. Since 'tradition' is threaded into every aspect of our lives, the very thought of anything eradicating it scares the older generation. Evolution and change scares them. It's the repetition of a toxic cycle again and again. Similar to black people and their history of slavery due to oppression by the white people. It didn't end, and is still seen in the way they're being discriminated against, killed and much more.
@@pranavivemana8354 Let not use the black and white situation to compare to the Indian caste system. A history of slavery had existed between these two racial groups, but oppression today between these groups r hot debate. It is also not something shared by all racial groups in American while the caste system is traditionally part of India itself. I do agree that it is the older generation refusing change. They were raised in a different world after all. India is also slowly changing, so maybe the caste system will be a thing of the past for India as time goes.
I prefer to remain childfree all my life
Same Here. I just don't have any motherly capabilities
Also sanchita the word is childfree not childless
Give me a high five 🖐 girl!!
Just know someone somewhere is proud of u!
Same bestie 🖐
Yeah same❤️
Same
Dear current generation promise with me that at least we would be a better parent to our future kids. By always supporting them while they are doing good deeds and don't drag them into these 'so called culture'.
Yes
Perfect
Yup 🤚 I am taking the pledge
Promise!!!
Nah
This reminds me of Good Newwz movie, so shocked at that part where we find out Kiara's character actually had multiple miscarriages and this pregnancy was dangerous for her health but instead of adopting they went for IVF because they wanted a "real own child". This was shown as a noble thing, because somehow risking her life was the noble option since an adopted child is "never your own" 🙄
@Tina dude it's his choice it's a very personal space you cannot question him on that
@@ashnaagarwal4825 still he's a mf no matter how much you defend that mf being his fan lol😂
As a teen I was baffled to know that people buy babies from orphanages and they go to the length of ticking off boxes according to how the child looks. This somewhat gave rise to the centralized adoption laws that took away powers from individual orphanages, which has somehow made the system even worse than before. Also, in India, people prefer to adopt young so that relatives and neighbours can be easily fed with a lie. No one adopts a child that is 1 or 2, and children who are over that age often have to fend for themselves in toxic orphanages or end up with bad lives. India also needs to rectify the adoption rules which prefers a heteronormative couple as the basis of adoption. As many parents fail to recognize the adopted child as a 'real child', they often end up expressing the fact of bettering their lives by picking them up from dustbins. This is especially true when the child reaches teenage or at a point of their life when they may not agree with the decisions made by the parents. Physical, sexual and mental abuse is also predominant in case of children that have been adopted.
Beautifully explained......
Yup all yout points are so so valid
True.
Glad to see people like you
And there's also another fact on top of that of even a bit grown up children are not adopted; adoption of a female child is also less preferred by adoptees.
When the biological daughter is a burden and paraya dhan, can't expect better treatment for adopted children
Not all parents think that way.i am a adopted daughter and my parents absolutely cherish me.please don't think negatively,our parents love us all❤️
@@veryconfused9768 u ever seek ur bio parents?
Cuz so many of them do. And what's the point in raising another dude's kid when they start treating u differently once they know they're adopted.
Why should anyone adopt when they can have their own? Just to be told that "Don't scold me. You're not my real dad". Lol hell no
Just to update u that boys are 25 percent less likely to get adopted than girls .. happy now?? Misandrists
@@dannyarcher9002The fact that you asked this many years ago, I hope you know you better by now. If not I really hope you'd learn that whatever queries you had aren't questions based on objectivity... But varied scenarios or meek limited experience...
Why one should adopt rather than have their own child...!!! I'd refer antinatalism.
@@Alan-shore- antinatalism is basically being an evolutionary failure
Parenting is not about giving birth to a child ,it's about raising them....
Indian society have to accept this fact
@blue blood we all are human and as a student of biology ik that about 99.9% of all human genes are similar so,we all shouldn't talk about similar genes and all stuff it just hilarious...😂
Nxt one should be about "Unmarried women adopting children is not excepted to be normal in our Indian society inspite of a law being there ."
Really. I thought they are adopting. 😳😑😢
@@januari6550 From my experience , i don't think so .
I feel the same towards unmarried men
@@mukta4689 unmarried men adopting are usually seen as child molesters , sad but true so most of them dont
True ! Single women can still adopt but single men can barely do so
People who adopt are the kindest and most selfless people there are.
You are right ❤️
Yes
Yes
No, some parents later on change their minds and abuse their children
The child also bring happiness in their lives both sides are perfect
Blood of covenant is thicker than the water of womb ❤️
Can you explain what does it mean? Thank you!
@@eyexha the blood you shed with your comrades in war is thicker than the water of the womb that connects you to your family
@@tauntaun9660 whoever said this really chose to spill facts
@@eyexha it means bonds of loyalty and choices are more stronger than mere genetics~
this topic needs to be discussed more and more. people act like having their own children will somehow guarantee that those children will take care of them when they are old. but we should know this by now that it doesn't.
and with keeping the best interest of the children who need to be adopted, the govt should allow same sex couples to adopt. at least, this will increase the adoption rate to some extent.
Why do a lot of you guys think people have a child so they'll take care of them in later stages of life, I wanna have a kid not because they'll take care of me I'm pretty sure when the kid turns 18-23 I'll kick him/her out of my house, I'll have a kid cause they are hella cute, sweet, kind hearted they'll give me some happiness in all this shitty world, playing with them, teaching them to take responsibilities for their own life(edit 😎) , going on road trips, vacations, chilling having fun being a good father and all that will make me happy and will give me a purpose in life. Not that having kids is all that easy it's hard but it's all worth it.
@@sudeepbhurat if you want to have kids for all those reasons along with teaching the kid to be responsible for their own lives, I think you will be doing it for the right reasons.
a lot of us think that because it is true. this may not be true for all indian parents, but for many it is. either those parents guilt trip their children into staying with them and taking care of them or they just straight up demand it from them and let them know from a very young age.
@@SleepIntoTheDiamondLife thank god my parent's are not like this.
Agree with your analysis 👍🏻.
@@sudeepbhurat in that case, your parents are amazing. wish there would be more parents like this.
You are absolutely right
My friend's elder sister and her husband was interested to adopt a child. But they have faced also this type of situation and at last they have decided to stay childless.
That's sad but it's their decision.i just have a request from you please talk to them if you can once.I am a adopted child and your adoption of a child can make a hugeee impact on the child's life.I often think if my parents hadn't adopted me what would have happened to me? But thanks to God and my parents I am here today a independent 28 year old working woman.i might be a little bit obsessed with telling people to adopt but I wish other children can also feel warm and cherished like I did with my parents.I know childless couples too as they used to take same treatment with my parents (tho after a while my papa decided one child is enough for them)they sometime lament not having a child(I know nothing wrong with remaining childless but adoption can make someone's life so so different) please forgive me as I am crossing the lines but I hope you will talk to them.
@@veryconfused9768 Actually their neighbours and relatives rudely opposing . My friends, her mother also promoted them to adopt a baby. But the relatives of brother-in-law , are not supporting adoption nor the test-tube baby. They always insult my friend's sister, that she is a barren girl.😭
@@shreyadas2309 Girl tell them to stop listening to opinions of people who don't matter. Are the relatives going to help raise the kid emotionally or financially ? Having a child or not is completely a couple's decision. Ask them to tell people to mind their own business and do what they feel is right.
@@potatoface1041 actually they live in a joint family. And they are(specially brother-in-law) also unwilling to leave their family. Still we are trying to make understand them.
@@shreyadas2309 oh that's sad 😢 . But honestly I feel if they leave now everything will get fine later. Once the relatives know they don't have any power over them trust me they will stop. Emotional manipulation and blackmail within families is so common.
can you make a video about-
'Why Indians crave for western validation?'
This is definitely needed. I have seen so many " proud of being indian" comments under videos who just take the country's name in a video? The most recent one was when one of the tennis player got the golden visa for UAE. Gosh the mentality is sickening.
Because the typical mentality of most Indians is "गोरा साहब जो भी बोलें सही है"
Reaction channels in one line.
The video should be why ANY non-American craves for American validation, or why any poc craves for white validation.
they are doing the same.
Thank you for taking my request and making a video on this topic. It's such a shame that even in the 21st century, people think that blood is thicker than water. It's not the genes that matter, it's the love and care that you give to your child.
actually blood is thicker than water in all sense, read history. yes, genes matter for man to bond with his child. u can be single mom to solve this adoption problem
@@karanv6277 you call adoption "shameless western culture" not surprised with your comments and replies. chad lmao
@@karanv6277 genes do matter but not to the point where it will make crazy difference between childrens.adopted children are also children like the biological one.i am adopted I look like my parents,I talk like them.i even cook the dish same way as my mom and has same taste about talk topics like my papa.How is it different than the biological one? I accept the genes are different but not the love.i love and care for my parents like every other child.
@@veryconfused9768 i'm glad u have such a great bond with ur parents. i'm not against this but promoting like everyone some how responsible for such crisis and they should adopt one child to solve this problem believe me this is going to make this worst and normal in society and i don't think anyone wants this. genes and blood that's what make society to run in one direction follow the thing what's right make them to think what is normal and what is taboo.
I think those who wants to adopt a child let them adopt. it's not your buisness
Likewise those who don't want to adopt
Just let them be childless. It's still not your buisness
Absolutely.
The level of moral policing in this comment section is above the chats.
Yes that is true but I think she was trying to say that people aren't adopting because it's a taboo and that the child isn't theirs like even if a couple wanted to have a child but can't, they would pay for procedures to have their own child than e adopted a child , As it isn't their kuan ka rishta and also cuz of the society.
@@advmanishadhoot2449 after reading the comments here,do you really think this video managed to do it's work? All I see is people dictating over others lives. That's not what swaddle would want. They really have a stupid fan base.
@@chaitanyagupta6668 of course it didn't fully work but the more people know about it maybe it will work. I'll take example on covid vaccine plenty people took it yet there's still people dying .did the vaccine fully work. No but if more people will take precautions, vaccine etc it will. Yes this video fully didn't work but in few decides it could.this video is just a message. It's made to aware people.It's like feminism, toxic masculinity, racism, sexism yet all of these are not over more people are getting aware and all of these are changing like more women getting choice not all but still more. Racism is also getter better BLM movement etc .of course there are people who are racist, sexist, misogynistic but it's less than the amount in 1900 .
It's called childfree not childless
I think it is irresponsible to just say popular culture celebrates blood relations and leave it at that because there are several well known movies that celebrate the relationship between foster parents and adopted children as well - like K3G, Baghban and Bahubali
Even parvarish is a good movie which proves that it doesn't matter if the child carries ur blood or not
You got point
She is talking about "majority" And try to give example of them..parents will end up saying they are just movies.
There are movies like bahubali but then there are also movies like good newzz which reinforce the belief over and over
But in k3g the topic of apna khoon was raised🙂✌
The same reason India has such strict casteism ,'tO kEeP THe BlOodLIne pURe' as if we have a throne to inherit from our ancestors when most of us aren't going to inherit anything more than diabetes lol.
Also sometimes thyroid
😂😂
True words spoken
and thyroid. most definitely thyroid.
Once during the talk , my father said , it's not good to adopt if one can give birth . I said , in India , there are so many orphans . Isn't it a good Karma to adopt ? And India is already overpopulated . He said that it's just an excuse made by young couples , biological bond is very necessary . Love between biological parents and children is very strong . Argument like this went for a while and then he got very much angry and at last he said what he always says , have to say , we didn't had courage to argue with our Father like this .
have courage. My malaysian indian parents are exactly the same. Parents are humans too cant expect them to change their mentality overnight. You can respect your parents but you must know they are not always right. Its because we were never told to question anything or question our parents is how we ended up in this mess. You dont need to argue with them just do your research raise the next generation to be better. Actions speaks louder than words.
Adoption rates can be increased if they make lgtbqia+ marriages legal.
Edit: there is an asshole in the replies so if you are in a bad mood or got anger issues, pls don't read the replies.
Facts💁
Agreed
are they not legal?
@@mahisinghvi08 In india people still look down upon it and do not encourage people
EXACTLY!
Ans: Because it is very (very very....) hard for Indian society to accept a new change.
I don’t want to give birth to kids but I want to adopt. All I hear is your parents won’t allow to adopt and I am like I am going to do that with my own money why does it hurt anyone and why should I bother to why my parents would say no. But nope they just shake their head to a no without any reason. I will still adopt though cause I want kids and not a marriage 😃
But are single people eligible to adopt as per Indian law?
@@swatisaini6447 yes they should be over 25 ..but a single man isn't allowed to adopt a girl child
❤️❤️❤️
@@swatisaini6447 susmita sen ko deklo
@@coolish3481 yes but she had to go through a legal battle back then. Thats why I asked
I always want to adopt a child, no matter if I have my own children in future. Because if every person adopts atleast one abandoned child, thousands of lives can be bright up!
✌️
It's roots are deep inside the caste system.
Nope..South Korea doesn't have caste system but still it's a taboo there
@@thefrustratedneetaspirant7777 maybe it's related to blood purity which is similar to caste
@Midorima Shintaro I think what she meant was that people don't want to adopt children who might be born in "lower" castes. I have heard of one such real-life instance.
@Midorima Shintaro Reverse logics come out to be lame sometimes.
@Midorima Shintaro I never said that. Just saying your logic doesn't belong to this planet.
There's a fear among some folks regarding the mode of conception and the state of mind of the mother when she is pregnant with the baby. A relative wanted to adopt a child from an orphanage and discussions were going on in the family. A psychologist relative brought up this topic of the mother's mental state and mode of conception, saying it does affect the child and its behaviour and growth no matter how the child was being brought up.
She scared the entire family with the case study of a child in the US who was born to an alcoholic mother and a criminal father. The mother drank while she was pregnant and the child was given up for adoption. He was adopted by a religious family. The child had learning disabilities, and stole and lied to the adoptive parents, harmed children in school and was often suspended. He took to alcohol at a very young age and dropped out of school. Despite being brought up in a loving environment, he couldn't change. The parents took him to counselling, therapy, rehab, none of it worked. It was only when he was arrested for a few murders that someone suggested they look at the background of the child. Thats how they found out about the mother and the father. The adoptive mother stood by the boy throughout the jail time, visited him and supported him in every way she could. The boy is still in jail. We were shown the video of the case study.
Despite this scary narration, my relatives chose to adopt a girl child. She's a pretty, talented and lovely child. A few relatives have problem with her, but thankfully they don't show it in open or in the presence of the child. We are all happy. She's a wonderful child.
There might be people who have had bad experiences, but then who can guarantee that's ones own blood wouldn't do the same?
I always thought of having one biological child and would adopt one as i am financially well off..then i read these analysis and i become apprehensive .. dont know what to do
@@monasingh5703 I think most orphanages know the background of their kids and where the child comes from. Imo, these things really can't be guaranteed even for our biological children. My neighborhood has an aunty who was abused by her own biological son before he got arrested for a money laundering case. She neither had any problems with her late husband nor with her personal habits. Honestly, I believe if you give the right kind of love to a child, in most cases, the child will grow up to be a good human regardless.
Ani yes you are right ... mostly it depends on how you nurture your child i guess .. thanx btw 🤗
I am happy to read they adopted a baby girl.my parents also adopted me as a baby girl and I am 28 today and I have none bad qualities that I can think of(I might be a bit too self loving,so cannot see my imperfections lol) but I can assure you nurture is what makes a difference.i am not that knowledgeable so I do not know what happened in the usa case but my background is not know and i turned out fine.i wish that baby girl has a good life.people can be judgy they were always people like that who gave me looks and said things..like beta lena tha na agar adopt hi krna tha to..bahu kese ayegi and all,gave my papa pity looks that his legacy will die and even till today people come with this hospital that temple and this judi buty.Some people doesn't let anyday or function go by without mentioning these.i used to be very sad when people judged me but my parents always supported me,took my side that made me so happy.idk what to say but I thank them they made a veryyyy hugggeee life changing miracle for the child like mine did for me.may god bless them.❤️
@@veryconfused9768 my dear, don't bother about what others say. They'll keep saying things. Just ignore others. Lots of happiness to you and your parents.
Adoption mostly occurs due to the societal pressure of having children on the mother.
yeah in most of the cases, this is still a fact. And those families are who don't love the child as much as they would have loved a biological child. But, hopefully, adoption by choice will increase with the rate the taboos are gone and women become more independent.
Adoption is the solution by which population explosions can be prevented. Couples get a child and child get parents both happy.
end result no baby born but they became parents
I promise to myself that I'll adopt a child once I'm on my feet.. & I know my parents will be proud of my decision.
Amazing explanation as always !
You could have included how celebrities are trolled for adopting child eg. Sushmita Sen and Mandira Bedi
They are accused of 'show off' & also that these ladies don't want to spoil their body figure 🤐
You're doing great ⚡ keep it up... Better India 🎉
And on top of it all, the pressure a woman has to go through, jaldi bachha kar lo, biological clock is ticking, dusra main itna gap hona chahiye falana dhimkana...No body ever thinks of adoption as first choice. Its the last resort or not even that.
Sometimes even biological parents cannot be real parents as they don't know how to offer love and support. Not every parent that gives birth to you can be your mother and father. And the truth is that not every couple are ready to be parents and lack emotional maturity while dealing with their children. Leading to abuse and neglect that can trigger depression that stems to Adulthood. Not everyone can be a mother and father just because they have given birth to the child.
You are right.it all depends on nurture and willingness.
Yup
I'm so happy to see so many people support adoption in this comment section ❤️
There is still hope for India
I have utmost respect for people that adopt. What's a better act than taking care of a child that's not related to you? A cousin of mine adopted a child despite having her own children. How noble is that!
I must say the way they present considering all history and facts makes it more catchy to watch... 👍
This should be followed by how a child does not need both mother and father. Parent can be a single mother or father or two fathers or two mothers or such
These are all fantasies .
Those kids will become abnormal in behaviour .
@@scpathak050 oh you wish. Stop being delusional,look up, there's so many wonderful people who are raised by same sex couples. Seems like,your wife beating heterosexual dad, have failed to raise a "normal" child
As a single lady who is repulsed by the idea of marriage and yet at some point of life wanted to adopt a child because of the wish to be a mother figure to some human , let me tell you what happened when i told my friends and family about the same .
Family - they of course scoffed it off because they thought i was joking
Friends- they understood that i was not joking and told that there will always be some psychological defect for the adopted kid and started stating numerous stories about the failures of adoption and went to the extend to say that i can stay single but do not adopt .
Kinda bummed me out but thank you for explaining this taboo topic
Please don't be bummed out.There may be differences.honetly I do not know about these psycological effects.I am adopted and 28 and I believe I love and care for my parents like any other child.i hope you do adopt if possible,it's your choice if not either.(I am sorry I am just a bit obsessed with it as it changed my life) by adopting the child you are making a miracle in their life.Just wanted to say that
Swaddle takes up such delicate topics and does wonders with them.
Thanks, Komal 💛
It is always said that other relatives will never accept your child so don't adopt. Because adopted child pata nahi kis cast ka hoga ...And also society thinks that there must be some biological problem that you can not have child so that's why you are adopting a kid. I want to adopt a child because it is my choice...why can't society understand this simple term....
exactly i wanna adopt thats why i would adopt......but no one tries to understand..even they consider me mental lol
@@flyhigh6452 I totally agree...🌷
Please make a video on how bollywood promotes rape culture and eve teasing... Pleeeasse... And also how relatives are toxic.. we teens need them.
Bollywood is a reflection of the society we live in.
@@hijack69 yo.. please send video
Aur video dekh ke kya karoge? Relatives Ko dikhaoge aur wo non toxic ho jayenge? Ya jo tumhe already pata hai usi Ko video me dekh ke feel loge.
next video ---1. what is the problem of women being older than men in marriage
2. why can't women enter temple during menstruation
3. why does women change their surname after marriage and why kids can't kid take their mother surname both parent contribute equally in their kid.
2nd question answered by sadhguru .
I had a subtle conversation about this with my parents and boy they were pissed, they're all like "child should be our own blood otherwise they turn out to be bad blood" and I'm just "I would be more worried about the children who have 10 siblings and can't get enough affection and resources and thus turn to be nothing in life just because there parents wanted a ton of children of there own blood."
Why don't people understand you will eventually love the baby you care for irrespective of your blood relationship??The IVF procedures are soo costly with not much success rates and lots of negative effects on the health of the mother but people are ok with this and not with adoption 🤣🤣.
What is the cost of ivf procedures? N what r the negative effects on the health of the mother of an ivf baby? What r the health condition of ivf baby when they grow up as an adult or teenager?
@@gauravsrivastava9149 there's no negative side effect on the IVF babies. the children are healthy. it's the process that has low success rate, not because there's an issue with the process but because those who opt for IVF usually have some kind of complications that prevent them from conceiving and carrying naturally. also, the process requires women to get injected with hormones and the process is very lengthy. and if one is not successful in conceiving, then they has to start the process again.
@@gauravsrivastava9149 The lady can have complications varying from mild nausea vomiting to severe complications like DIC causing death. As of now not much evidence about complications in child
@@gauravsrivastava9149 Cost can range from 3 lakha n above depending on the severity of problems with the couple
@@raaganaada6493 what is DIC?
Dear Indians, look into your scriptures all great Gods and special ones were adopted...Lord Krishna, Devi Sita, Radharani, Karna and many more... adoption is one of the purest forms of love...
Actually its not on India, its an Asian syndrome for having a blood line connect. It's much more in Korea and china. Blood line is very very important in Japan also.
India is an asian country too.
@@kye9792 yes, boss.. India also included in this
I m open to adopt a child 😁😁
Me too
Awesome ❤️
@@audio4642 me three
End lines are beautifully said.
😊😊 Loved it . I really like to overthink with swaddle thank you 🌷
Thank you 💛
Being connected to your child though love is much more better than
Being connected with your child though blood in toxic parenting
🙂✌
Okay just forget about our elder's generation..Is there anyone who would try atleast their best for adoption? Anyone out there who has the courage to break that stereotypical chain?
Yess I have... But financial independence k baad.
Y'all have some of the best editing I've ever seen
Everybody ask me why I am still single I just says to them I don't want to like others I don't want to have children (childrens are damn expensive) I don't like arrange marriage
Adoption should be promoted
This is one of those things I would consider shall depend from person to person. It isnt right or wrong to adopt a child. It depends what an individual wants to do.
Such an amazing thought supreme leader 😊
It can be a couples choice too
It is not about individual choices but, what Indian societies have been fed in their minds so they are thinking in a certain way.
@@humoursabji4045 it's an individual choice. Nobody can force anyone to adopt like nobody can force anyone to produce biological child. The vedio is about the social stigma regarding adoption of how parents, family,relatives etc prevent or judge people from adopting which is wrong.
I hope with rise of lgbtq community coming out ...more people will adopt & heterosexual couple as well should understand that they need to arise beyond their own parents prejudices
lol in my state most of the people dont even believe in lgbt. When someone start a discussion about this ,they say there are more important things happening in the country. ( i dont want to mention the name)
Yeah but you shouldn't expect all lgbtq parents to adopt children. That's an unnecessary imposition.
@@harshal3405 which state are ya from bruh
Part of lgbtq community right here 🙋🏽♀️ Actually queer couples also tend to choose IVF, IUI, (biological birth) etc over adoption. Probably because adoption is hard in India and almost impossible for queer people. Also queer people too, prefer biological heir over adopted one. Though I never wanted to give birth but always had an urge of adopting a kid someday. Let’s see what destiny holds
@@June_815 it not hard , it's just that only single queer people can adopt and queer couples cannot cuz the system sucks.
Being a young lawyer ..I can assure that the adoption cases are rapidly rising in india...and people are really becoming aware...however if Indias 2nd majority religion doesn't have even statute to adopt and one have then the whole burden comes to only one religion..then how come we can expect whole Indian society to change
It's high time to adopt Uniform Civil Code at the first place .
You didn't have to pinpoint Muslims here. Muslims among themselves have numerous variety. If you think everybody abides by their religion and wouldn't go out of its way to do good things, then you are wrong buddy. I have a Muslim couple around me who has an adopted child. Trust me, religion is not going to be a problem in this. It's the mindset and if it's changing, then that's good.
And about UCC, there can be further debate but certainly this adoption argument isn't a great one for UCC.
@@shanblues7257 I get your point too , but that is just some minor Muslims who are very educated . Its forbidden in islam to adopt and All India Muslim board is even asking govt to sign up a law for it ..and majority of Muslims are even supporting it .. you can read articles on it and even go to their own site if you want further news.
@@hadiakhan6658 Do you want report? theprint.in/india/governance/why-the-muslim-personal-law-board-will-not-agree-to-allow-adoption-in-islam/65757/
www.khaleejtimes.com/nation/general/adoption-in-islam-and-law
Read your books . all the mullahs will say it and verses also say that adoption in legal terms is banned and the child should not be given the family name and property . But you can donate or sponsor. If you get the child to your home you have to let him go once he hits teenage or reaches adolescent , he cant stay in your house. I have read the verses as well , or should i not believe the books now also ? verse- al-Ahzaab 33:37, al-Baqarah 2:220 I do enough research before believing something . Even if very educated Muslims may adopt but common middle class will not. You can also look up for data which shows that Muslims adopting is the lowest in this country compared to other religions .
i hate how narrow minded people are, even in the 21st century
Bruh same.
Seriously when will they mature up 😒🙄
Thank you for making such amazing videos 😀😀🥰
Another things that suggests that customs within the Indian society sucks as they are against humanity. We the modern generation has to change them.
What good uptill now you modern generations brought apart from aids and OYO .
@Sc Pathak what have old generation done rather than dividing people by caste, gender, and religion. This is the golden age of knowledge with development happening in all fields. Don't oppose the change sir be a part of it.
Next video for Overthinking series: WHY CERTAIN PROFESSIONS LIKE DOCTOR, LAWYER , ENGINEER ARE OVERGLORIFIED
True I think they also made a post regarding this. No profession should be treated as lower or higher. Parents should support the dreams of their children in whatever field they want to go. I think you forgot to mention one more which is overrated 'acting'.
They have already posted it in one of their community articles in past.
Overthinking?! Seriously! These are real problems if you would know if you weren't so ignorant.
0:55 The best depiction of a family tree related to a gene I have ever seen. I would like to thank the graphic designer who designs these amazing visuals.
God bless you team swaddle ❤️
I TOTALLY support your point, but what i have experienced till now is that...the reason parents don't tell the truth of adoption of their child to the society is because, whenever he/she will get to know that he/she (the adopted child) is adopted, he won't be the same and may be in some cases he shall leave his house or something bad will happen.
Bachpan se hi batao usse
Beautiful and though provoking video on this issue which is never discussed at all. The social stigmatisation and not treating an adopted child as their own is damn bad. Everyone is a human being and I don't think anything else matters as such.
I have a Muslim friend who told me, "It's against Islam religion" to adopt a child. (I'm a Sikh, and I'd Love to adopt a child)
If anyone disagrees with me, please don't reply to me. I'm not here to argue. Do Not try to convince me of your point of view. have a nice day.
@blue blood OOOO ! you got so triggered and upset, why so angry?
@blue blood don't tell me. don't talk to me. don't reply to me. i did not come here to pick fights with ppl who dont' agree with me. good bye.
@@salonika101 I m a sikh too n I too will adopt.
@@gauravsrivastava9149 see, i try not to make anything about religion, but it's true, sikhism teaches us to accept all. i dont know why my barren friend said it's against her religion, i dont think it should be against it. Maybe even she doesn't have the correct information. I don't know. But I knew for sure with sikh ppl, we support it. Nanak Naam Chardi Kala, Tere Bhane Sarbat da Bhala.
@@salonika101 Jo bole soni haal.....
You forgot to mention the most important point "money".
Raising child is extremely expensive, nowadays, many couples prefer only one child, due to financial burden.
Education alone costs lakhs in fees and crores as donation.
A couple may take so much burden for their own child, but, why would anyone prefer Taking so much burden for adopted one? Instead, being childless will make them rich and they can enjoy life.
Many in comments section are saying they want to adopt,lol. once they calculate the cost, then hardly anyone will prefer having own child.
I know a childless couple, they tried to conceive but failed, so, they chose to be childless. they are super rich, with big bungalow, car n lots of foreign vacation, enjoying their life.
Swaddle deserves all the appreciation.
Everytime they come up with issues which are actually the need of the hour topics. Let's hope that this will bring a change in our so called society.
Just wishing them all the best for all their future ventures!
Thank you so much, Raksha! ❤️
While adoption is a wonderful thing, it can often be more difficult than raising a biological child, due to behavioural issues stemming from negligence in most orphanages.
A lot of people simply dont have the patience or understanding to help children who went through neglect or abuse prior to adoption and end up resenting the kid.
Maybe orphanages should actually be held to better standards so the kids have an easier time bonding with their new family/ society.
Good point
Exactly, the kids would have lot of abandonment issues especially if they are older than like 2 or 3 and are at an impressionable age.
Don't worry Indians who talk about adoption will only adopt children of 1-2 yrs...white skin..
They shop them literally like some grocery...
Harsh Reality of orphanages.
No one comes to u when u r above 6yrs.
In my family I've 3 cousins that are adopted and nobody looks down upon it.
I never knew its considered such a taboo in our society till I watched this video
Adopted children are lookes down by people.i am happy your cousin's are loved and people are positive minded.
Thats good then😍... Continue loving ur cousins
I can understand. My mom also is not agree to adopt a child. May be 1 day I will adopt
Child adopt karne se pahle genetical aur emotional attachment ki psychology padhna....young age main sabko kuchh alag karne ke khyal aate hain...par uske consiquensie 35-40 ki age main aapko dekhne milenge...
@@bhaveshtontiya7152 well meri mom ne mujhe 40-45 years ke age mai hi adopt kia tha and i dont think she regretting it one bit
dude 60% of adopted children leave their parents
I was so pissed with the dialogue in Good news ‘Tumnhe adopt kyu nahi kiya’ ‘apna Khoon toh apna khoon hota hai na’ felt so anti adoption, broke my heart for the kids who don’t receive parental love.
I once had an idea that a couple should adopt a child after their first blood child.
What do u all think?
Great idea . If this be done practically then every single child on this planet will get a sibling.
*But the adoptive parents/Family have to take pledge, never to discriminate against the adopted one.*
Every couple should decide for themselves
@@swatisaini6447 u r all over the comment section.
Do u work for Swaddle?🙄🙄
@@NamedSoni 😂😊 she is the relative
Thank you so much for covering this topic. I always wondered about adoption in an Indian society. I see myself as a single woman adopting in the future because I don’t ever plan to get married. I talked to my aunt about it and she said “why would you adopt someone else’s child. It should be your blood”. Giving a child a new home should never be about blood or dna. It should be about how you raise that child.
Daughters in their own house being called 'PARAYA' :)
I bet half of the women using this statement haven't even heard something like that said about them. Bas aisi hi feel me Rehti hai.
@@chaitanyagupta6668 ye movie dekhke aai hain sab. Pata nahi kesa comment section hai ye channel ka. Amazing.
@@chaitanyagupta6668 My dad called me the 'guest of the house' multiple times. Dont assume shit. And also, even if it is not happening to me, the fact that this is happening to other women means you have to take the stand for them. So half the other women are brave to speak out against it.
@@takeitoffnowgirl7080 If u have a brother then he has to bear all the responsibilities of the parents, not u(unless u volunteer to do so). U see this even in fully employed independent women.
So yeah it's just an old saying but that's what it really means.
@@takeitoffnowgirl7080
And I'm against it. Why should I by virtue of my XY chromosomes bear every burden of responsibility when the daughter is equally capable and has an equal claim to the inheritance.
F social norms
I'm gonna adopt children when I grow up... nobody can stop me
Straying away from poverty is all linked to property. People want their belongings to stay within the family. Exhibit A: The British Royal Family.
They have this weird concept of bloodline
remember 'caste'? it is a 'blood purity' practice
@@Ayisha4889 I meant this strictness of bloodline purity
@@Ayisha4889 you can raise the adopted child as well
@@Ayisha4889 you still think even after this mucj messed up world. You should have babies rather than adopting them
@@iditrirajanif you worry that much about them
You should start tracking where they are coming from
My neighbors and parents were laughing bcuz one of our neighbors did surrogacy and how did that aunty have twins without a stomach. Though I thought it was fine to do so they think that family lied and that is why they were laughing but in fact If that family didn't hide that the twins were not hers they would have talked rubbish about her
I met guy for marriage purpose, he was well educated and intellectual person and then I talk with him " what if I prefer adoption instead of biological child " he reppiled "my family will never favor this" .
It's was kind of deal breaker for me!!
Indians are more concerned in caste, religion etc and family genetics than humanity.
Tell that to people of peaceful community
I believe this is true for all humans across the board of every religion. No one need feel special or slighted. There are bad apples everywhere.
People commenting everything but no-one saying this that I would adopt a poor child or sponsor a poor child's education or give money for some child's medical needs
Especially being in this country, it's so sad that the attitude to adoption is not open and willing.
I'll adopt only once I'm financially, mentally and emotionally stable enough to take up the responsibility of another human being, or else I'm going to remain child-free.
Please make a video on why women are considered bad drivers and is it true scientifically?
Actually the legal processes are very difficult to adopt a kid in a Indian a society especially if you are a single parent, and I think if that will become more easy will be able to see more people adopting kids
It has been my dream to adopt a child since I was 13 years old. Now I am 30 years old newly engaged. I hope 🤞 one day I get to complete my life long wish.
Husband ya wife se discuss kya tha na. otherwise you maybe setting up for a failure.
@@chaitanyagupta6668 haha, yes on my first date…let’s see, only the future knows.
"Bonds aren't just about history or blood. It's something much stronger. Feelings of love. That's all you need"-
Naruto🦊 to Sarada👓 while questioning about her mother, Sakura's relationship with her
Hey team I don't know why I am sharing all ur recent vid to my whatsApp status. I just find extreme need to share. Keep inlighting us.
There're many ills in Indian society but this people against adoption is something i will never understand.
If you cannot have a child please adopt.
If you are in a position where you can support a child, please adopt.
LGBT community should only adopt.
My family has adopted a girl from our village whose parents were not capable of raising her and to be honest it's the most beautiful thing we ever did.
Any fool can give birth but it takes a lot to be a father
Why People not understand that Devi Yashoda also "adopted" Shri Krishna and Raja Janak also "adopted" Devi Sita??
Today's children are not like Sri Kishna and mother are not like Devi Yashoda.