This needs to STOP in Commander... And I'm part of the problem
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- Опубліковано 9 вер 2024
- A personal story about developing into a better player.
I hope you take the time to listen.
If you have a similar experience, I'd encourage you to share.
Here's to many more good games. Cheers. :)
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Email: tempesttcgofficial@gmail.com
Hi everyone. Just a PSA. This is NOT a pity party. This is NOT me trying to reach out for support/validate my action. This is a message to those of you who may have done something similar, or maybe are too hot headed at the table.
I’ve seen it first hand, no one likes it and it makes the entire table uncomfortable.
If you have your own take, your own story, I’d love it if you'd share it in the comments.
As always, let’s get back to playing more, and better games. :)
-Kyle
We’re all human. It’s great to hear someone admit a mistake and take accountability. This commander problem is a human one. Things in our lives distract us from really listening, which is the most important part of communication. Talk rule zero with your table and remind them scooping happens at sorcery speed only. :)
It's ok everyone has a bad day. At least you realized it and are trying to correct it for the future.
Sounds like someone slept on the couch last night
Lol. There is a reason we have a large bed.
For slumber parties 😂
Bro, your Fiancée has some seriously steady hands. Holding that camera dead still for almost 15 minutes. 😂
IM DYING. 😂😂
I was thinking something similar 😂
One time I mana drained a friend for 13 mana. When it got around to my turn, I had ~30+ cards in my hand with a win-con, but forgot that I had the plus13.
The moment I said the words "I pass", my buddy goes "You didn't use any mana from mana drain.. why?".
He board wiped, my stomach feel, and while I didn't scoop, I became king of pity party island.
Thankfully, a few turns later I realized what I was doing there and then, and apologized to the table for the change in my attitude.
I really enjoy playing commander and its important to realize that they don't have to invite me back. Every table is a privilege to sit at and an opportunity to share our passion for the game with others in a positive way.
I had a similar experience last week. We were playing, the guy diagonally from me played his commander and said “pass”. So the next player untapped and started his turn. The guy said “hey I wasn’t finished with my turn.” We all explained we thought we were him say pass. Maybe he accidentally said it, it didn’t matter. We just let him finish up his turn. Not a big deal.
My LGS is full of crybabies so I always try to give the best play experience when I group up with people I don’t know.
The rules I have for MYSELF are:
1: Call out each phase I’m moving to
2: Ensure that the next player after me is looking at me when I say that I’m ending my turn.
3. Never scoop 😂 if people want to win, they have to earn it. Especially if they have some complicated combo without a clear win.
“Let the Wookiee win” - free marriage advice. ❤
Dude, respect. All of us had experiences like that. I only have one friend that never gets or got salty. No one is perfect. 💪
Communication goes a far way in commander. Also chill out, mistakes happen, it is serious not that serious. Also sometimes i get in similar situations with my wife but then i realize she is also using a deck i worked hard on so in spirit i take it as a win when she wins.
I love your honesty. I love what you're saying. Your content got me into commander. And after playing for a few weeks I realized how badly I missed real magic, where the person across from you is always trying to win. Counter spells, spot removal, board wipes have all those have such emotional weight in commander. Commander has soooo much emotion and feelings and , I noticed quickly, people were not playing magic... but playing their decks and any interference lead to much bigger feelings than in a 5 minute 60 card game. Thanks for your honesty, sounds like you learned a lot but man I'd prefer not to deal with the wild culture of commander players
Hey man, I was wondering if you would make a deck tech on Lara Croft? I ordered the secret lair because I love tomb raider but now im finding myself lost on what the actual heck she wants to do or how to win with her... Thanks 👍
Random video to pass by me way, although this isn’t an issue in my play group(s), I appreciate the accountability
Best advice for commander, if you go into every game with the attitude that you should win, you'll never learn anything from loosing.
My wife and I call any of that type of behavior “lizard brain”. There’s also “id” but I like lizard brain more
Strong statement on this topic. For a few months now I've been asking myself why I play Magic the Gathering at all.
For me, every get-together with my playgroup is like a casual game night.
Sure, everyone tries to win and play as well as they can - but as soon as we realise that someone isn't having fun because of the way someone plays, they rethink the deck.
Often then not its about winning friends, not games.
Thank you for sharing this. I struggle alot with this issue and hope I can be better moving forward.
So I can agree to that… I think the only time I scoop out of anger is when I get a slow start (by slow I mean miss a land drop or two and about 3-4 turns behind everyone else’s board) and people are like hey you’re not doing anything let’s blow up your mana rock or lands, or your one enchantment will help you catch up. I’ve done that. Everyone in magic wants to win, I get it… BUT every magic player builds a deck to do a thing, and they want to do THAT THING, but when you just get crap draws off the rip and are trying to catch up just to get taken to turn 0-1… nah I’m out. I’d rather just sit and watch without drawing and getting frustrated. That’s just me.
I don’t get salty myself when it comes to any TCG. I think part of playing any game is offering a fun experience for all those involved. Part of that is winning humbly and losing gracefully. I don’t think you could be a complete winner by being a great player alone, but by offering your opponent, a good experience.
However, I’m glad you shared your story. I’ve played with people like this before and it’s awful. Like imagine playing a game for over an hour and one of the players has a meltdown. I’d never play with that stranger again, and I would definitely cook my friend for acting like that.
You kind of addressed it, but isn't the bigger issue that you weren't playing a well balanced game to begin with and created the issue by having the power to create a deck you played against knowing it had no answers against you.
True. And even when that higher power deck isn't winning, you should in no way be upset about it.
Man, My wife never plays magic and you do this? If she never plays magic again? Just say "sorry honey!"
For the "scoop", we have a rule to do just in sorcery time.
Mine used to say she "didn't get it" and was not interested, or that it is far too conplicated.
She tried joining in on a 2022 JumpStart game night at our home with friends, some of 'em never played it before and were curious. That was her real entry point. By far, her most beloved format because it gets rid of the most complicated stuff. I got small 20 card plastic cases to keep the individual packs apart so you can replay it as intended.
She would play against me like once a month in the beginning, became more frequent with time, after a few months she started getting curious on deckbuilding and would join me on every 2nd prelease I attended. Still hating commander, "too complicated to build, too much going on during play".
Last week, over a year of her playing jumpstart and prereleases, she finally started looking up commanders. We are not there yet, but hey.
I highly suggest to give the jumpstart gameplay a try! And be patient. :D
Man, I made a pauper battle box, She look's and say "nops". I just stop to try. but tanks for help and idea. =)@@Mediamatix
Thanks for the video and the transparency. I think we all have gone through similar experiences one way or another and those behaviors will make worse or ruin ANY social gathering regardless of activity. I get together with my friends once or twice a week to play commander because it's quality time. It's playful banter that just happen to involve slinging cardboard. Of course we have had a few similar moments like the one you mentioned. None of us wanted them to happen, but they do. We're people. It's what we do about it afterwards that will either leave or erase that sour mood that we left others in. Whenever that stuff happened, the offender usually came back later (either a while later or the following morning in the group chat) to reconcile with the group and everything was fine after that and we moved on. We all have heated moments.
Coming from a 1v1 format it took me a while to realize that, unless you are playing cEDH fighting over a prize, commander is a social format. This means I've learned to prioritize good experiences over winning. Yes, I obviously want to win more often than I lose, but I also want to win in a way that everyone, myself included, felt like they had a fighting chance. To me, pubstomping isn't fun. Anyone can just throw together a pile of powerful cards and run away with the game just from card quality alone. Masterful and creative deckbuilding and seeing it run the way you want it to is its own reward. It took a while (and personally tracking my game results and winrates) to get myself into a mindset that 25% winrate is actually fine and anything higher is just icing on the cake because it's a 4-player format. As long as I got to do the things I designed my decks to do, I usually come out of the game satisfied regardless of whether I won or lost. Of course, we sometimes run into non-games. Just gotta shuffle up and move on.
For my first few years playing it was only with friends and family, but when I started on Spelltable I was really surprised at how mad people got over such low-stakes games. I was embarrassed for them and really wondering what in their mind was assigning such importance to that game out of so many hundreds or thousands of others they'd played. Still have never played in an LGS.
Usually this happens, when the game takes to long like 2 or3 hours. Btw. is there a slight Chance that you will make deck Videos of the upcoming Fallout Commander like the mothmann or Dr. Madison li?
That's why I avoid commander at my LGS, there seems to be always one person that takes it way to seriously. I HATE when people cry and complain about "threat assessment", its magic a game of elimination, people who try to actively downplay a move or spell (to the point of being almost passive aggressive). Shit kills me, if you wanna play a game of threat assessment and board state go play 60 card FNM, then you wont get salty when someone makes a play against you (but they will probably). I don't care, if my deck chugs out of the gate then great eliminate me, and we can start a new game sooner. If you need to win or have your deck "do its thing" Magic for it to be fun then go play 60 card combo deck, otherwise your just ruining the game for those around you. (thanks for the vid, not directed at you, just my rant in general)
never scooped in my live D: playing modern for like 5 years and Commander for the rest of the time till today D: damn well to me it's a ton of fun to see what i'm doing in the game and what my opponents are doing and how they are interacting with everything :D like Puzzle solving! going too fast can happen.
Good point calling situation out ^^.
That's a "sore loser" ending without having lost, you just got delayed one turn. Yet you decided to scoop actively making yourself the first loser. It feels to me like a "ok, NOTHING works today" moment.
Is it possible that you might be importing some other drama and just venting in the game? I mean that "i felt I deserve a win" sounds like a whole list of negativety (I assume unrelated to magic) and then playing a magic game with friends was the first place you found were you get to be angry. Because friends forgive. Like the classic thing is holding up appearances at work, staying professional, and then getting home and be all sour there.
I can tell how my gf's day at work went by the way she mulligans. If she goes "REALLY? REALLLY?!?" to herself I know something bad happened she didn't tell me yet. :P
Disclaimer: I know _nothing_ of psychology. I am a comp tech guy. But I do assume if it was a general losing attitude thingy, it would be more frequent. :3
Can we take seriously a comment with emojis? Up for debate
@@aklepatzky That debate would be titled "is appearence the most important thing".
...which was literally the point of why one might take the frustration out at home, even if unrelated to the source.
The serious part of the comment had none, only the anecdote had emojis. It just goes to show how easy and ready people are to project frustraton to unrelated things. It happens really fast and is hard to control.
I come across to many people who act as you did. Your attitude and the need to scoop is the real issue in the community. I’m sure we all appreciate the fact u shedding light on it! Don’t be a sore loser my guy play it out u never know how the tables may turn in your favor
I hope you’re taking the time to individually dismantle each excuse you’ve made for yourself in this video and didn’t take away “don’t get butthurt because you’re playing with people that you love” as the main message. Each extenuating circumstance and assumption about how you got to this point still need to be resolved because I guarantee you have some of these behaviors outside of magic.
Asserting your fiancée passed the turn can’t have resolution if you don’t realize that you were choosing to be combative and domineering. If she had said “oh hold on, I could have used bolas’ citadel can we turn that back and see if I can stop you?” I probably would have let her because now I’m interested to see how it might pan out.
“My money beat their money” if you’re experienced enough you know that cheap decks can DESTROY expensive decks in commander. There’s a lot of popular and expensive mid level power cards and a lot of cheap and powerful cards.
Playing a casual game of commander is just that; casual. Playing to win is expected, but controlling the people at your table to do so isn’t acceptable. The biggest lesson to learn here, and funnily enough something magic sort of teaches is consent. Magic allows one person to make a statement, allows everybody to respond, and this continues until the table stops responding. Look up Reflective Listening; I think it’ll help you here.
Sounds like your ego as a better player and deck builder got in the way of having a fun time. Its okay. Ive seen pride moments hit play tables before. But youre doing a good thing in apologizing and setting examples for others.
This effect is why i always brew underwhelming and weaker decks. I never get spiky for good cards and strategies, therefore i never feel entitled to win. Its more fun and lucky.
Is winning fun and exciting, sure. But at what emotional or financial cost.
Commander is for fun so if youre not playing for fun cards or interactions , i urge people to go turn their decks down.
Instructions not clear, playing a 3k 9 power aesi deck
I have a similar deck. I would love to see your brew to compare
Hey man this was cool. It's so important to remember that Commander is more like a board game than a card game. It's okay if its about everyone.
Good on you for making this video - can't be easy to admit something so humbling this publicly, so thanks for sharing this learning opportunity. It sounds like you're going to make your games really count moving forward, and I hope that will be rewarding for the whole table as a result. My spending limit is $2 per card, so I don't really go into games with really high expectations... especially since I seem to be very attracted to Timmy jank more than efficiency, veggies, & cohesion (the Christmasland is just so shiny). Our flat statistical chance of winning in a 4 player pod is 25%, so we're totally going to lose way more than we're going to win. It can be really rough when the win gets pulled out from under you... but the fireworks, the turbulence, and the randomness of interaction between different decks is a big part of the appeal of the format. The story of the turnover, the massive swing seemingly out of nowhere - those stories are the point of Commander. This video is a good reminder, thank you. :)
TL;DR: Don't be a dick.
Confessions of a Cammander player
I have not done this with Magic, but I have playing Warhammer 40k. It is easy to give in to the animalistic urge to self-destruct, but remember, its a game, and you are playing it to have fun. If you see someone getting to the point of not having fun, take the time to try to inject fun back into the game for the person that has lost it. Games are a communal affair and require everyone to contribute to a positive vibe.
We all feel entitled to a win sometimes. It happens to us all, especially when we are exicited to sequence what we need to do on our turn to win. I think everybody should simply try not to play too fast, when they are about do sometimg big like wining the game. This way other players are more likely to stop you if , like in your instance, had taken the turn prematurely
We use a coin to designate whose turn it is, then we pass it, that's it. 👍
A lesson in humility.
Better now than later. 😊
Winning is what games are about. Wish people would stop being such casual cry babies about commander. It's social, it's fun, but the goal is still to win the game. Never feel bad about that
You became "That dude"
hell yeah, sleep token
I hope you invested in a good couch brother 😂
Please do a video about the magic in your pants😩
You're being a little self-indulgent, yeah, but more importantly you're being way too hard on yourself. It is a highly emotional game, and it's supposed to be. You can't really control that you got upset with something. You could argue that you didn't respond the right way given the effect it had on the other two players, but despite the emotional investment, it's also still just a game. You should not feel obligated to keep playing if you're not having fun. Maybe the healthier way to do it would be telling the other two "You know what? You two didn't do anything wrong, but I've rendered this game unfun for myself. Would you mind if I scooped? Because I'm just not going to enjoy playing this out from this point, win or lose." That way you can get out of a frustrating situation and they don't feel like they did something that upset you. But regardless of how you did it, you had every right to walk away from that game. You weren't owed an instant win, no, but the game wasn't owed any more of your time than you enjoyed giving it.
Not trying to go in on you by any means but I really have to put this out there as a new player.
Bro, it's commander WITH YOUR F×××IN FIANCE!!! If you're really that bent on a game that you're stacking against Family and Friends, you may need to re-evaluate your property.
She has a crazy desire to win and gets mega competitive, too. Lol. Plus, we've been together for many years now and are best friends. There might be more reasons I got salty.
Landfall and gates are cringe