She is a woman. By default when you are in the public eye women will try to look different every single time. Where men own about 10 shirts and pants and just make it work because nobody is really looking at them like that.
+Emanuel Ferrando Yes but Katy is right behind that camera angle presumably, unless they film the halves in different shots. Either way, 4th wall break aside, in the canon he's still staring at her.
TrueFriends HelpMoveBodies They do film the halves in different shots, but Katie is still sitting in front of Soren. Anyways, Soren looks up and to the middle, in between Katie and Michael, and a little up. He's not looking at Katie. It is not that hard to see.
I don't know if you're a architect in movieland it seems like you would have ultimate job security.Some jackass is always blowing up a building, ramming a car into them or better yet helicopters.Bridges that get damaged beyond repair because they almost always have some oil tanker on or near them just waiting to explode.I mean think about how much damage your average Transformer caused or how much collateral damage took place in something like The Transporter.You should be filthy rich as a Architect.
This is assuming that you haven't died as a result of whatever cataclysmic event has taken place. In action movies, the focus is on the hero thereby making any deaths aside from ones of main characters irrelevant and unnoticed. In any catastrophe, people are dying left and right whether it's a gigantic monster or a terrorist attack or some apocalypse, but they're not important. We don't see the after effects. We see the good guy win...and then all the casualties get tallied up as people have to heal and fix what's left off-screen.
Plus they get paid the big bucks when they have to build the secret, crazy, or big stuff; like the Batcave, or that hangar from The Avengers, or a giant train network all connecting to a big tower with the words "WAYNE ENTERPRISES" in neon lettering on the side.
Key word: movie world. Everything is glamorized. In real life, due to the economy, having a dream job is rare unless you really like it. In real life, being an architect is less glamorous and you probably get in long drawn out fights w/ environmentalists.
yeah. and someone made a chronological playlist for After Hours which only encourages this. I just like to have it playing while I play games... like music, but funny.
counterpoint: Micheal Cera. In every movie he's in he is a socially awkward uncomfortable loser, yet everything always turns out great for him without any effort on his part
There are also plenty of movies that don't end with every problem solved. They sometimes do it on purpose, like the Shakespearean tragedies, or they can't be bothered to sort it out, if its to do with minor characters, or they just don't think about what happens after the movie.
+Dominic Littlewood I think some Shakespearean tragedies do end up with every problem solve due to the people who caused most of the problems being dead.
Huron .Blackheart Woody Allen reversed this concept in his film Crimes and Misdemeanors. The protagonist had a woman killed and afterwards he began feeling the moral consequences of his actions. But after learning that he can move on if he never gets caught and ignore the guilty feelings, the movie ends with him in a better place than he began.
There are two things you should never worry about: everything you can change and everything you can't. You can still be ethical whilst following that rule.
Then Dan ans Michel have a child and their respective children have children, and the combo of ultimate jawline ans ultimate no-jawline would combine to form the most average jawline mathematically possible
It is 2024. Cracked's After Hours has been gone for nearly a decade. Small Beans, Quick Question, and Gamefully Unemployed have found a place in my heart. I watch a veritable plethora of sketch comedy and routines for free on UA-cam. And yet, this may be some of the best six and a half minutes in comedy video history.
The first point is the most valid, about movie characters being easy to navigate. In real life, people have many many layers and are complicated. It's like she said. No one sits around exchanging exposition. People in real life operate frequently on assumptions and unspoken feelings. The problem with some movies is their misunderstandings are so freakishly contrived and unbelievably stupid and people often completely overreact. In real life, people tend to either suffer silently, not wanting to expose their hurt, or their anger becomes displaced and they start blowing up at everything instead of dealing with the actual problem. People run away from their problems metaphysically and try to keep up appearances of being "normal". [Bad] movies do none of these things and instead depict people behaving in the extreme sections on the human spectrum. (1) wildly confrontational with the people involved in the problem, spelling everything out; (2) completely ignore them, cutting off all communication. Things escalate and de-escalate very quickly. Of course, I need to make sure that I say not all movies are like this. In real life, things build up or break down slowly over time. Good movies really take the time to develop a world and history. They really give you a sense that the circumstances creating this problem have existed all along. For example, I think it's safe to say that most Disney and Pixar films use time skips. We are shown pieces coming into play while the protagonist is a child (or whatever). Time skip a decade later (or whatever), it becomes time for the protagonist to face the consequences of the poor decisions made in the past. Ironically, or perhaps sadly, the most realistic movies (not the most popular or best) are those that tend to have bittersweet endings. In these movies, actions have real consequences that affect the outcome of the characters (in ways that are realistic or believable). Movies that lack believability (based on the laws set within that fictional universe) -- because of no real consequences or two-dimensional characters -- feel very contrived and are painful to watch. ugh. I hate myself. Another wayward rant. Why do I have the compulsive need to comment all the time? My apologies. Also, great discussion, as always. Thanks for the upload. You guys are funny.
But your completely right, that is the way movie physics goes. In the beginning you have a geeky boy/girl who is teased and bullied throughout high school they graduate and become better then they meet the person who bullied them and create a giant plan to destroy them. Somewhere along the way the fall in love and they find out that they aren't the person who they thought they were and they all live happily ever after. You never have to confront your problems, things will always get better before you have to face anything.
+TheMRStudio While it was funny, it was a reference to an old video that was a parody of David Blaine the street magician. You should watch it, its a good laugh.
You only tend to go through constant personal growth as the protagonist. If you are batman, you elarn and grow. If you are alfred, you stay just as you are, with maybe a little assistance to batman on his quest. While soren is out having adventures, dan would be back home chillaxing after a long day at the architect office, exchanging witty banter with his sassy black friend and total bro buddy.
3:43 had me laughing! "What else does the card know", good stuff. I would love to see a longer version of an "After Hours". Not saying a thirty minute show of just them talking, but maybe what they did during the day leading up to this. Something around those lines would be cool. I just dig the writing style and their characters chemistry.
"A waitress that was here six months ago and she smiled at me and didn't smile the day after so I'm worried that I offended her. I can a couple theories-" "OH! Too sad"
This episode has like 4 of my favorite moments in the whole series (That man is a Batman/Ask it how I die/Katie's Lil House of Pies and Lil Cat Pies/the ending) and finding them all in one place here again was good
Can you imagine trying to live in a universe that has *montages* ? Think about it: Every time you want to learn a new skill, to practice a talent into mastery, or to travel ANYWHERE on the planet, music starts up and time fast-forwards to make the journey in a few minutes' time. And that would be cool if the time wasn't lost to you forever, that you had to live those fast-forward scenes that could take up months of your life that you couldn't do anything else. Your lifespan would be cut down dramatically simply due to those montages and, while you could obtain a skill or mastery of a talent quick and "easy," you'd also lose whatever social and emotional growth (as well as discipline) that comes with the skill-building process. Such a world would be horrifying because everyone is simply one montage away from success. Personal talent and latent creativity would become meaningless as everyone, upon entering a montage, could acquire the same abilities whenever they choose. Next topic... why being a police officer (not a detective, a plain-Jane uniformed cop) would be horrifying in a movie universe.
Farscryer0 Whoa. Yes. What would happen if you input vague or subjective parameters? Example: "Montage scene until I am a successful artist." Result: "Your art is too ahead of its time, and it is only 50 years after you die that the world appreciates it." Roll end credits. No take-backs. 8-|
Not necessarily. The montages speed up time, but you still would have all the memories from it. Life would technically continue as normal; you'd just jump ahead with all the memories and knowledge that acquired you in that time.
But we're assuming that A) in a movie universe, everybody is the main character of their own movie and that B) your life is several movies. More than likely you'd be a side character, or an extra or just someone that's never actually IN the movie. So fascinating things would be happen, but not to you, and not constantly. Probably just once... depending on how much your movie makes that is.
What ever job you dreamed about as a kid will be your career as an adult. As children in this universe they either go on insane adventures or experience something emotionally damaging, and in high school or college you run a very high risk of being attacked by serial killers.
After thorough research and intense, personal self-reflection, I can now honestly say that I think I love 'After Hours' more than I love my own children.
Living in a movie universe would suck for everyone. Pretty much everybody would have killed a bunch of people, no relationship would ever last, at least half of all weddings would be interrupted by desperate guys (who somehow walk away with the bride), and there would be a terrorist attack from a "supervillain" at least once a year.
...in that universe, I can see three or four people(not main characters- people who aren't even in the movie) getting together and making a deal where Aaron, who is with the maid of honor Denise, arranges to marry Bea, the girlfriend of best man Charlie, but because of the laws of that universe, she ends up in Vegas having drunkenly married Charlie instead, in a Star Trek themed double wedding. Of course, the details of the deal are more vague than that so as to not tempt fate.
I love after hours so much and is the reason i started loving Cracked but after seeing each episode for the 10th time i noticed a pattern. I noticed more and more how much after hours doesn't work. The idea that they are friends that meet up every month and talk about these things is nice. And them all being as obsessed as me about the little details and to have noticed so much and prepared for each month's meetup i can live with for the point of this show. My problem is that each character doesn't stick with their views from previous episodes. It's like they aren't friends and instead just like to argue about this stuff even if it's not the point they want to argue for/against. This episode is the best for clearly showing how much they don't like each other and they just like the whole socialising over their favourite shows and plots within. I bring this up because i think cracked should do an after hours of after hours where they deeply look into how each one would actually be miserable, living out awful lives and have aliases they live out when they meet up because how else would they be happy for that one day, the arguments are them letting out frustration on their lives yet at the end of the day each would go home to a sad life. What an amazing finale to an amazing show. In conclusion: these four people are not really friends they do not discuss their own views but rather just like to argue have sad lives use an alias while here to make them happier and help them get through CRACKED HAS TO DO AN EPISODE ON ITSELF ,BASIS IS HERE SO NO EXCUSES. i'm a huge fan and would love for you to do this. and i can go deeper into each point and could get evidence from episodes and may have enough too do a whole after hours on it, i just lack the skill. If anyone is interested then get in touch with me and i can talk more. p.s. i know you guys are getting sick of doing them as a few of you have said on other videos but they are brilliant and have led me on to watching every single video. posted by cracked, i think.
+Tim White I could see a modern day Cheers that is all about that diner and those four using pop-culture debates to solve their everyday life problems.
When Katie is talking about the little pies for your cat she is so friggin adorable. Also at like 3:36 Soren looks completely spaced out and then is like "uhh spaghetti"
Missed a vital point to stop Sorin. All you have to do in a movie to have a calm, normal span in life is to do something back-storyish. Then you'll love normally until the big change comes along that incites your "lesson."
There is implied down time between heart-crunching intense moments in movies; Stuff happens between Ghostbusters 1 and 2 (and all of it sucked), and The Shawshank Redemption didn't go over every single day Andy Dufrain spent in prison. An actual universe doesn't just skip ahead to exciting moments, it would have to obey time and space. Maybe a movie universe would go at a greater clip, but nothing would happen all at once; that's what time's there for. There. Dan's argument is back on track.
Actually, all the 'good points' of living in movie world only apply if you happen to be a 'main character'. If you're part of the 'supporting cast' you're likely to come to a bad end.
By the way.. they forget something, in movies people are not in constant advonture, there are always fast forwards to like days or months later where nothing interesting happens inbetween and with movies that have sequels there is usually a happy ending in the first one that turns around in the sequel which takes place like a year after the last movie which means the protagonist in that movie will have had at least one stable and happy year, and after the ending of the sequel he will have another stable happy few years
Deborah Taylor if you were to do that you would most likely start to avoid that thing either consciously or unconsciously and then it would change to show you die a different way and then you would begin avoiding that and it would either change back to the original or it would go onto something else until inevitably it comes to old age and no one can stop that. and also i know you were just quoting mike (i think that's his name) but i thought i'd point it out anyway.
***** that's why i said it would eventually end with old age since no one can stop that or like you said something you can't stop such as cancer or aids
***** the cards clearly don't give two shits, they're the epitome of two-dimensions, bitter at such a world they live only for FIN, they live, and we are their mutant puppets endlessly discovering new dimensions, dictating our lives through a prompter screen per the robot apocalypse they've scripted since the dawn of trees
How about the other rules? Everything stops for romance/kissing. The zombies will wait until you are finished to attack. The explosion won't catch up to you during this time even if you see it happening in the background.
3:50 well if we are saying all movies take place in the same universe then that means so do superhero and big budget action films, so buildings are destroyed on a consistent basis which means architects are constantly hired or repeatedly & consistent basis
The socially awkward person is usually the sidekick. One exception would be Bad-Ass (gets the girl). But then again, he is essentially his own sidekick since every other character in that entire universe is more badass than him. In most movies where the protagonist is socially awkward the main character often become less so as to explain how people can accept their oddness (they don't). Evil.
Actually, a socially awkward trainwreck would do AMAZINGLY well in movie world. I mean, just look at Michael Cera. The socially awkward guy ALWAYS has at least two hot women vying for his attention in some way, and all of his problems end up solving themselves. Yes, there are a lot of problems, but the audience only ever sees the PROBLEMS. They never see the days, months, weeks, years, where NOTHING ever happens. We only get the "One week later", "3 months later", or something like that. If you lived in movie world, you've defeated the villain or got the girl (or both), and now you get to live through several uneventful months or years having amazing sex with some impossibly beautiful woman who you could never get in our world (and in movie world, the sex is always fantastic for everyone unless it's a plot point; eventually even those people become amazing at sex). And then when something DOES happen, it will only last for a few days at most, at which point your life will be even MORE awesome than before (unless you live in a trilogy; your life will get worse in the 2nd film, and then become much better in the third film).
And then you get old, and your son eventually turns evil and betrays you, kills your wife and now you have to kill him because the studio was lazy and wanted a fourth movie.
If someone from the real world managed to enter a parallel universe obeying the movie rules like they were the laws of physics, they would have a shot at becoming the most succesful person in that universe, because if they knew the movie rules, they would also have at least a rough idea of how to beat them.
Ah, but being socially awkward in real life, one of the most unattractive qualities and something that usually ensures that you remain a virgin for quite some time if not indefinitely, gets you more booty than a pirate in the world of movies. Just think about it, just think about all the movies about the geek going on a crazy, shenanigan-ridden adventure, at the end of which he lands the most smokin' babe on the block. Basically, if you're a nerd or an outcast IRL, then in a movie every other day you would go on a quirky, goofy little trip of self-discovery with your closest friends before scoring with an 11/10. Heck, it doesn't even need to be one of those teen rom-com movies in order for the nerd to see some action, it's pretty much commonplace for nerds and geeks in movies to get the girl and have the most fulfilling romantic lives and generally come out on top.
gingervampireFTW First, you must find the stone of zullthar, and travel to the desert of vooqur and place it atop the pedestal of piety. This will transport you to Cthulhu's basement where you will search for the thong of ultimate wisdom. Then, and only then, will you achieve supreme enlightenment, and realize that not a single thing I've said has made any sense. Now go!
Is it really worth it though? I mean that's just the beginning. Not to mention the psychological trauma and physical abuse nerd go through to get the girl... And afterwords? By the time the next day rolls around, you'd be the romcom douche telling people about your adventures and how badass you are for landing the 11/10. Then some other wimp will steal her from you.
I love Soren's fake shock at the real friends joke.
princesscarlos yeah I feel like they have banter 😂
1:53
It's been three years and Michael's delivery of "Ask it how I die!" is still one of the funniest things I've ever seen on Cracked.
Thank you:)
That was the exact moment i scrolled down to comments and read this. Thank you
3 yrs after
i read this
Katie's face when she describes the cat pies though
Six years now
That was the best twist ending ever, you guys need to write a movie script.
I do t get it. What did the ending mean? I didn't get the card and all that
Gus Bus Dan predicted that Soren and Michael would win, and that Michael would use the word "b-hole." :D
really
RabidDogma Technically he was wrong. Michael said "b-holes", plural. lol
Bob Papadopoulos You can't say B-Holes without saying B-Hole
"What else does the card know? ASK IT HOW I DIE!"
Can that please be a shirt?
Agreed!!!
I love how Katie looks drastically different in every episode.
JACCO20082012, “drastically”.
Yet equally hot every, single, time.
She is a woman. By default when you are in the public eye women will try to look different every single time. Where men own about 10 shirts and pants and just make it work because nobody is really looking at them like that.
"That man is a batman" makes me laugh every time
I binge-watch After Hours every Christmas season. "Ask it how I die!" STILL slays every time. (8 years and counting)
That’s a good idea
@@arnoldfreeman2885 Hey, thanks for the reminder! I think I need this even more this year.
Doing that right now :D
@@SerialNoYM63 Hey! Thanks for the reminder. Just finished the Christmas shopping and I can relax.
Have a lovely holiday season. 🤗🎁
The look from Soren at the end is even funnier when you realize he's actually looking at Katy like that.
+deathskilledreaper He's not looking at Katy, he is looking at the camera, breaking the fourth wall.
+Emanuel Ferrando Yes but Katy is right behind that camera angle presumably, unless they film the halves in different shots. Either way, 4th wall break aside, in the canon he's still staring at her.
TrueFriends HelpMoveBodies They do film the halves in different shots, but Katie is still sitting in front of Soren.
Anyways, Soren looks up and to the middle, in between Katie and Michael, and a little up. He's not looking at Katie. It is not that hard to see.
"Ask it how I die!"
Andrew Addams He so desperately wants to know how he dies.
+Cullen Cochran He'll be the first to break his arm jerking off and not live to tell the tell.
I came down here to quote that. Damn you.
Gabriel Falkner :P
Same. But I'm going to do it anyway.
ASK THEM ASK I DIE
"That man is batman"
"That man is a batman*"
*That man is an ad to a batman*
"This man is batman"
-Batman
It isn't so much that that man is Batman but rather Batman is that man.
+Bruce Wayne Well, I've never seen him and Batman in the same room.
I don't know if you're a architect in movieland it seems like you would have ultimate job security.Some jackass is always blowing up a building, ramming a car into them or better yet helicopters.Bridges that get damaged beyond repair because they almost always have some oil tanker on or near them just waiting to explode.I mean think about how much damage your average Transformer caused or how much collateral damage took place in something like The Transporter.You should be filthy rich as a Architect.
( slow clap ) :)
This is assuming that you haven't died as a result of whatever cataclysmic event has taken place. In action movies, the focus is on the hero thereby making any deaths aside from ones of main characters irrelevant and unnoticed. In any catastrophe, people are dying left and right whether it's a gigantic monster or a terrorist attack or some apocalypse, but they're not important. We don't see the after effects. We see the good guy win...and then all the casualties get tallied up as people have to heal and fix what's left off-screen.
lugialover09
LOL good point.I think my architecture firm will be in the suburbs.Just fax my work in.
Plus they get paid the big bucks when they have to build the secret, crazy, or big stuff; like the Batcave, or that hangar from The Avengers, or a giant train network all connecting to a big tower with the words "WAYNE ENTERPRISES" in neon lettering on the side.
Key word: movie world. Everything is glamorized. In real life, due to the economy, having a dream job is rare unless you really like it. In real life, being an architect is less glamorous and you probably get in long drawn out fights w/ environmentalists.
I could just watch/listen too After Hours on shuffle / repeat, all day, every day.
WTF.
yeah. and someone made a chronological playlist for After Hours which only encourages this. I just like to have it playing while I play games... like music, but funny.
I do that all the time lol!
+DawnViolet Will you give me the link to that playlist?
DawnViolet ... gimme gimme I need I need!
counterpoint: Micheal Cera. In every movie he's in he is a socially awkward uncomfortable loser, yet everything always turns out great for him without any effort on his part
There are also plenty of movies that don't end with every problem solved. They sometimes do it on purpose, like the Shakespearean tragedies, or they can't be bothered to sort it out, if its to do with minor characters, or they just don't think about what happens after the movie.
+Dominic Littlewood I think some Shakespearean tragedies do end up with every problem solve due to the people who caused most of the problems being dead.
In that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause.
Huron .Blackheart Woody Allen reversed this concept in his film Crimes and Misdemeanors. The protagonist had a woman killed and afterwards he began feeling the moral consequences of his actions. But after learning that he can move on if he never gets caught and ignore the guilty feelings, the movie ends with him in a better place than he began.
There are two things you should never worry about: everything you can change and everything you can't. You can still be ethical whilst following that rule.
"Katie's 'Lil House of Pies and 'Lil Cat Pies"
Why can't it just be "Katie's house of Meow: pies and more! "
+Erykah “Eve” Vanier paw pies????
"Katie's house of lil' cats baked into pies, 🤗"
Oh I hate that name...
Raven Godwin when did Katie become Mrs.Mooney
The cards will tell; the past the present and the future as well
can this be a movie?
like tarot cards
+Definitely Catherine
Just take three, take a little trip into your future with me.
***** *takes a bow*
+Mantoisful It already is a movie.
"real friends Michael" you could hear his heart breaking.
"ASK IT HOW I DIE" XD
JessieMcnally DEAD DEAD DEAD XXXDDD
the card says "painfully. at the hands of Katie"
3:50
MICHAEL SAYS B-HOLE
The cards, the cards, the cards will tell...
The past, the present, and the future as well~
The cards the cards, just take three....
demarkahs Take a little look into your future with meeeeeeeeeeee!
Mythic Gamer The cards, the cards, they never lie. They know how you live and know how you die.
Mythic Gamer now you young man are from accross the seeeeeeaaaaaaaa
If Katy and Soren had kids, those kids would be like 90% jawline.
I just realized that
If Katy and I had kids, I would be happy.
Then Dan ans Michel have a child and their respective children have children, and the combo of ultimate jawline ans ultimate no-jawline would combine to form the most average jawline mathematically possible
@@emilybarclay8831 how does that sound like both a Michael and a Dan answer?
Katies excitement over the cat pie was funny as hell.
Katie's Little House of Pies and Little Cat Pies
And she squishes her boobs together! 🤗😍
"Katie's lil' house of pies and lil' house of cat pies" is a name I love to hate
Owww, seriously it's worse than dragging broken glass and rusty nails over a metal chalkboard
It is 2024. Cracked's After Hours has been gone for nearly a decade. Small Beans, Quick Question, and Gamefully Unemployed have found a place in my heart. I watch a veritable plethora of sketch comedy and routines for free on UA-cam. And yet, this may be some of the best six and a half minutes in comedy video history.
The first point is the most valid, about movie characters being easy to navigate. In real life, people have many many layers and are complicated. It's like she said. No one sits around exchanging exposition. People in real life operate frequently on assumptions and unspoken feelings. The problem with some movies is their misunderstandings are so freakishly contrived and unbelievably stupid and people often completely overreact. In real life, people tend to either suffer silently, not wanting to expose their hurt, or their anger becomes displaced and they start blowing up at everything instead of dealing with the actual problem. People run away from their problems metaphysically and try to keep up appearances of being "normal". [Bad] movies do none of these things and instead depict people behaving in the extreme sections on the human spectrum. (1) wildly confrontational with the people involved in the problem, spelling everything out; (2) completely ignore them, cutting off all communication. Things escalate and de-escalate very quickly. Of course, I need to make sure that I say not all movies are like this. In real life, things build up or break down slowly over time. Good movies really take the time to develop a world and history. They really give you a sense that the circumstances creating this problem have existed all along. For example, I think it's safe to say that most Disney and Pixar films use time skips. We are shown pieces coming into play while the protagonist is a child (or whatever). Time skip a decade later (or whatever), it becomes time for the protagonist to face the consequences of the poor decisions made in the past. Ironically, or perhaps sadly, the most realistic movies (not the most popular or best) are those that tend to have bittersweet endings. In these movies, actions have real consequences that affect the outcome of the characters (in ways that are realistic or believable). Movies that lack believability (based on the laws set within that fictional universe) -- because of no real consequences or two-dimensional characters -- feel very contrived and are painful to watch.
ugh. I hate myself. Another wayward rant. Why do I have the compulsive need to comment all the time? My apologies. Also, great discussion, as always. Thanks for the upload. You guys are funny.
But your completely right, that is the way movie physics goes. In the beginning you have a geeky boy/girl who is teased and bullied throughout high school they graduate and become better then they meet the person who bullied them and create a giant plan to destroy them. Somewhere along the way the fall in love and they find out that they aren't the person who they thought they were and they all live happily ever after. You never have to confront your problems, things will always get better before you have to face anything.
That fourth wall breakage from Soren though....
+TheMRStudio While it was funny, it was a reference to an old video that was a parody of David Blaine the street magician. You should watch it, its a good laugh.
I wouldn't want to live in a movie universe. Every time someone bumps into my car, it explodes.
But cars also have unlimited gas until you need to get away from something or someone fast
Pray your life isn't directed by Micheal Bay
Or Roland Emmerich
Get a car pre ... 1970s? They never explode. Just clunk when crashed.
That only happens if you own a Ford Pinto. : P
You only tend to go through constant personal growth as the protagonist. If you are batman, you elarn and grow. If you are alfred, you stay just as you are, with maybe a little assistance to batman on his quest. While soren is out having adventures, dan would be back home chillaxing after a long day at the architect office, exchanging witty banter with his sassy black friend and total bro buddy.
"How u know that, how do you have archectial job statistic!?" i laughed so hard when i heard that... I have no idea why.
ASK IT HOW I DIE
I want this series back so badly
Rewatching this series for like the 5th time and I will miss cracked man....honestly some of the best content UA-cam will ever see
ShaneyBot I know that Swaim is still pretty active and Katy/Cody are doing the news thing. What are Daniel, Katie, and Soren doing?
Do you know about Off Hours by Michael Swaim?
ua-cam.com/video/sdl3e4AzpF8/v-deo.html
I’ve been rewatching all these round tables and they’re all as good as I remember.
No other such show has come close what these four did.
3:43 had me laughing! "What else does the card know", good stuff. I would love to see a longer version of an "After Hours". Not saying a thirty minute show of just them talking, but maybe what they did during the day leading up to this. Something around those lines would be cool. I just dig the writing style and their characters chemistry.
"A waitress that was here six months ago and she smiled at me and didn't smile the day after so I'm worried that I offended her. I can a couple theories-"
"OH! Too sad"
he actually held up a card that said, "CUTE WAITRESS THEORIES 1-7"
lmfao. -
That man is a wreck.
I relate to him so hard it's painful xD
I understand... The non-internet part of life sucks.
This episode has like 4 of my favorite moments in the whole series (That man is a Batman/Ask it how I die/Katie's Lil House of Pies and Lil Cat Pies/the ending) and finding them all in one place here again was good
Crazy this is 8 years old, I really miss this show
3:23 I love Katie's expression here when she's thinking about her hypothetical bakery.
*All hail the magic cards! They know all!!*
Hail!
"Ask them how I die!"
+TheDragonCat99 ask them if we'll ever get a good Silent Hill movie or book!!
Can you imagine trying to live in a universe that has *montages* ?
Think about it:
Every time you want to learn a new skill, to practice a talent into mastery, or to travel ANYWHERE on the planet, music starts up and time fast-forwards to make the journey in a few minutes' time. And that would be cool if the time wasn't lost to you forever, that you had to live those fast-forward scenes that could take up months of your life that you couldn't do anything else. Your lifespan would be cut down dramatically simply due to those montages and, while you could obtain a skill or mastery of a talent quick and "easy," you'd also lose whatever social and emotional growth (as well as discipline) that comes with the skill-building process.
Such a world would be horrifying because everyone is simply one montage away from success. Personal talent and latent creativity would become meaningless as everyone, upon entering a montage, could acquire the same abilities whenever they choose.
Next topic... why being a police officer (not a detective, a plain-Jane uniformed cop) would be horrifying in a movie universe.
Farscryer0 Whoa. Yes. What would happen if you input vague or subjective parameters? Example: "Montage scene until I am a successful artist." Result: "Your art is too ahead of its time, and it is only 50 years after you die that the world appreciates it." Roll end credits. No take-backs. 8-|
MRWDL800 Picaso: the movie.
The crazed butt stabber
Picasso was appreciated in his time! XD
MRWDL800 Sorry, I meant vincent Van gogh.
Not necessarily.
The montages speed up time, but you still would have all the memories from it. Life would technically continue as normal; you'd just jump ahead with all the memories and knowledge that acquired you in that time.
DAMN YOU CRACKED! I get lost on your website for hours and when I finally resurface for a UA-cam break YOU'RE HERE TOO!!
But we're assuming that A) in a movie universe, everybody is the main character of their own movie and that B) your life is several movies. More than likely you'd be a side character, or an extra or just someone that's never actually IN the movie. So fascinating things would be happen, but not to you, and not constantly. Probably just once... depending on how much your movie makes that is.
Braden Chittick That is life right now. We are side characters to celebrities.
The plot of every After Hours: Soren is attractive, Dan is nerdy, Swain is weird, Katy is a girl.
That's kinda exactly my point
The card knows all.
What ever job you dreamed about as a kid will be your career as an adult. As children in this universe they either go on insane adventures or experience something emotionally damaging, and in high school or college you run a very high risk of being attacked by serial killers.
This is one of the best episodes I've seen. I love After Hours.
3:20 I love the expression on Kate's face when Michael mentioned her bakery.
I wanna go to Katie's Little House of Pies and Little Cat Pies.
After thorough research and intense, personal self-reflection, I can now honestly say that I think I love 'After Hours' more than I love my own children.
Living in a movie universe would suck for everyone. Pretty much everybody would have killed a bunch of people, no relationship would ever last, at least half of all weddings would be interrupted by desperate guys (who somehow walk away with the bride), and there would be a terrorist attack from a "supervillain" at least once a year.
...in that universe, I can see three or four people(not main characters- people who aren't even in the movie) getting together and making a deal where Aaron, who is with the maid of honor Denise, arranges to marry Bea, the girlfriend of best man Charlie, but because of the laws of that universe, she ends up in Vegas having drunkenly married Charlie instead, in a Star Trek themed double wedding. Of course, the details of the deal are more vague than that so as to not tempt fate.
Jeremy Wells You just described Grey's Anatomy.
I love after hours so much and is the reason i started loving Cracked but after seeing each episode for the 10th time i noticed a pattern. I noticed more and more how much after hours doesn't work. The idea that they are friends that meet up every month and talk about these things is nice. And them all being as obsessed as me about the little details and to have noticed so much and prepared for each month's meetup i can live with for the point of this show.
My problem is that each character doesn't stick with their views from previous episodes. It's like they aren't friends and instead just like to argue about this stuff even if it's not the point they want to argue for/against. This episode is the best for clearly showing how much they don't like each other and they just like the whole socialising over their favourite shows and plots within. I bring this up because i think cracked should do an after hours of after hours where they deeply look into how each one would actually be miserable, living out awful lives and have aliases they live out when they meet up because how else would they be happy for that one day, the arguments are them letting out frustration on their lives yet at the end of the day each would go home to a sad life. What an amazing finale to an amazing show.
In conclusion:
these four people are not really friends
they do not discuss their own views but rather just like to argue
have sad lives
use an alias while here to make them happier and help them get through
CRACKED HAS TO DO AN EPISODE ON ITSELF ,BASIS IS HERE SO NO EXCUSES.
i'm a huge fan and would love for you to do this. and i can go deeper into each point and could get evidence from episodes and may have enough too do a whole after hours on it, i just lack the skill. If anyone is interested then get in touch with me and i can talk more.
p.s. i know you guys are getting sick of doing them as a few of you have said on other videos but they are brilliant and have led me on to watching every single video. posted by cracked, i think.
I'll take a deck of those super accurate flash cards
3:47 i know I’m 11 years late but missed a great opportunity for that card to say 42
God bless you Swaim. Can there a sitcom where it's just you playing the role of everyone? Pitch it to Netflix!!!
These 4 could do a modern day Seinfeld soooooo well
+Tim White
I could see a modern day Cheers that is all about that diner and those four using pop-culture debates to solve their everyday life problems.
+Drace90 I would watch the shit outta that :)
When Katie is talking about the little pies for your cat she is so friggin adorable. Also at like 3:36 Soren looks completely spaced out and then is like "uhh spaghetti"
Missed a vital point to stop Sorin. All you have to do in a movie to have a calm, normal span in life is to do something back-storyish. Then you'll love normally until the big change comes along that incites your "lesson."
"Today's Topic" is the only thing that keeps me subscribed, because I can watch those while I wait for a new After Hours
There is implied down time between heart-crunching intense moments in movies; Stuff happens between Ghostbusters 1 and 2 (and all of it sucked), and The Shawshank Redemption didn't go over every single day Andy Dufrain spent in prison. An actual universe doesn't just skip ahead to exciting moments, it would have to obey time and space. Maybe a movie universe would go at a greater clip, but nothing would happen all at once; that's what time's there for.
There. Dan's argument is back on track.
This episode was edited by Tendi from Star Trek: Lower Decks!
"learning hella lessons every hella day"
I'm so sad to know they are tired of doing this series because I want MOAR.
This was the peak of Cracked.
Damn corporate buyouts
Please make this more frequent
Actually, all the 'good points' of living in movie world only apply if you happen to be a 'main character'. If you're part of the 'supporting cast' you're likely to come to a bad end.
The supporting roles get happy endings unless they die.
Love the humour, great writing and delivery.
By the way.. they forget something, in movies people are not in constant advonture, there are always fast forwards to like days or months later where nothing interesting happens inbetween and with movies that have sequels there is usually a happy ending in the first one that turns around in the sequel which takes place like a year after the last movie which means the protagonist in that movie will have had at least one stable and happy year, and after the ending of the sequel he will have another stable happy few years
Anyone else love that michale and Soren end up on the same team usually
THE CARDS!!!!!!!!!:O
ask it how I die. lol
Deborah Taylor if you were to do that you would most likely start to avoid that thing either consciously or unconsciously and then it would change to show you die a different way and then you would begin avoiding that and it would either change back to the original or it would go onto something else until inevitably it comes to old age and no one can stop that. and also i know you were just quoting mike (i think that's his name) but i thought i'd point it out anyway.
***** that's why i said it would eventually end with old age since no one can stop that or like you said something you can't stop such as cancer or aids
***** you're probably right although it's all hypothetical unless we can get our hands on those cards.
***** the cards clearly don't give two shits, they're the epitome of two-dimensions, bitter at such a world they live only for FIN, they live, and we are their mutant puppets endlessly discovering new dimensions, dictating our lives through a prompter screen per the robot apocalypse they've scripted since the dawn of trees
The expression on Soren's face when Katie announces her quirky-female-protagonist "business" is epic.
How about the other rules? Everything stops for romance/kissing. The zombies will wait until you are finished to attack. The explosion won't catch up to you during this time even if you see it happening in the background.
“Ask it how I die” best joke ever
i like how soren looks hurt when katie says real friends lol
3:50 well if we are saying all movies take place in the same universe then that means so do superhero and big budget action films, so buildings are destroyed on a consistent basis which means architects are constantly hired or repeatedly & consistent basis
They mean they're taking the baseline human behavior from movies, not physical events from them. This entire conversation is about human interactions.
The cards never lie
The expressions on everyone's faces at the end are incredible. Makes me laugh every time.
Well, I thought the socially awkward person gets the girl in the end, despite all his weirdness
The socially awkward person is usually the sidekick. One exception would be Bad-Ass (gets the girl). But then again, he is essentially his own sidekick since every other character in that entire universe is more badass than him. In most movies where the protagonist is socially awkward the main character often become less so as to explain how people can accept their oddness (they don't). Evil.
Lol "what else does the card know? Ask it if it knows how I die!?" I laughed so hard right there.
Misquotation. It was "What else does the card know? Ask it how I die!"
If you're going to quote, quote correctly.
and that man, that man is a batman
ah, I got my friend into these After Hours videos and she's yelling at me on the phone for ruining her life. You guys are awesome!!
Actually, a socially awkward trainwreck would do AMAZINGLY well in movie world. I mean, just look at Michael Cera.
The socially awkward guy ALWAYS has at least two hot women vying for his attention in some way, and all of his problems end up solving themselves. Yes, there are a lot of problems, but the audience only ever sees the PROBLEMS. They never see the days, months, weeks, years, where NOTHING ever happens. We only get the "One week later", "3 months later", or something like that.
If you lived in movie world, you've defeated the villain or got the girl (or both), and now you get to live through several uneventful months or years having amazing sex with some impossibly beautiful woman who you could never get in our world (and in movie world, the sex is always fantastic for everyone unless it's a plot point; eventually even those people become amazing at sex).
And then when something DOES happen, it will only last for a few days at most, at which point your life will be even MORE awesome than before (unless you live in a trilogy; your life will get worse in the 2nd film, and then become much better in the third film).
And then you get old, and your son eventually turns evil and betrays you, kills your wife and now you have to kill him because the studio was lazy and wanted a fourth movie.
I can't believe I never knew how amazing Cracked is.
notice how they demonstrate the things they say in the video like how at 3:57 they talk about there personality's almost out of know were.
I like how Soren ends the video calling Dan lovable.
If someone from the real world managed to enter a parallel universe obeying the movie rules like they were the laws of physics, they would have a shot at becoming the most succesful person in that universe, because if they knew the movie rules, they would also have at least a rough idea of how to beat them.
Enjoying watching these again. Still fun.
Do the cards know who my true love is?
Katie's House of Pies and Little Cat Pies never fails to get a laugh from me 🤣
Shannon Bennetts Almost as good as “It’s the best” from the women don’t get shot in the head episode ;)
top 5 4th wall brakes, it made the list
Deadpool is still number 1
I just love Soren in this episode. Just everything he says and does is hilarious. 😂😂
Ah, but being socially awkward in real life, one of the most unattractive qualities and something that usually ensures that you remain a virgin for quite some time if not indefinitely, gets you more booty than a pirate in the world of movies.
Just think about it, just think about all the movies about the geek going on a crazy, shenanigan-ridden adventure, at the end of which he lands the most smokin' babe on the block. Basically, if you're a nerd or an outcast IRL, then in a movie every other day you would go on a quirky, goofy little trip of self-discovery with your closest friends before scoring with an 11/10.
Heck, it doesn't even need to be one of those teen rom-com movies in order for the nerd to see some action, it's pretty much commonplace for nerds and geeks in movies to get the girl and have the most fulfilling romantic lives and generally come out on top.
How do I go to this paradise world of which you speak?
gingervampireFTW First, you must find the stone of zullthar, and travel to the desert of vooqur and place it atop the pedestal of piety. This will transport you to Cthulhu's basement where you will search for the thong of ultimate wisdom. Then, and only then, will you achieve supreme enlightenment, and realize that not a single thing I've said has made any sense. Now go!
OckhamAsylum Instructions weren't clear. Got my dick stuck in a toaster.
gingervampireFTW. Lol! Perfect!
Is it really worth it though? I mean that's just the beginning. Not to mention the psychological trauma and physical abuse nerd go through to get the girl... And afterwords? By the time the next day rolls around, you'd be the romcom douche telling people about your adventures and how badass you are for landing the 11/10. Then some other wimp will steal her from you.
I love this, please do more episodes like these!!
That man is a batman 😂😂
by far my favorite cracked episode. Wish I could be in this with them.
"What else does THE CARD know?"
"ASK IT HOW I DIE!"
Soren, why is he so beautiful. He smiles and I swoon hard core.
Trust in the heart of the cards!
I love these videos. Keep it up👌🏼.
Why does cracked not have more subscribers, while random obnoxious channels have millions?
"Ask it how I die."
Best quote ever.
"That man is a batman." Perfect.
this is the best series i have ever discovered and that's really saying something wow
I need more after hours
Sorin has the most precious little smile
For example: 1:57