my endocrinologist totally hates the medicalisation of trans identities and was basically like "you're trans. do whatever the fuck you want. whatever's right for you" and was super casual and that's awesome. like. he doesn't care if anyone passes he just writes down the name and pronouns we want him to use but yeah i can't transition right now and he was super chill about it
Before I came out I tried super hard to be female, but it didn't feel right. When I finally figured out why I hated being a girl so much and I came out, I got so much shit for being feminine (because I like nail polish and my voice is fairly high pitch) and still identifying as male. It did bother me for a while but now I totally own it, because I'm fabulous, and this video is great for showing other people that they don't have to pass to identify as the gender they do. You're awesome Chase :)
I am also one of those people who cant pass because of family and so many other things so it puts me down and makes me feel like a joke because my family sees it as that because i cant pass. Thank you Chase this helped me you are an amazing human being
This is such an important topic to discuss. I'm a trans man but I really hate to present as traditionally masculine. It's not my style or part of my personality. I've been on T for over a year, and still hardly ever pass due to my feminine traits. When someone hears a feminine inflection or sees painted nails they instantly go to 'female' in their head, resulting in me getting misgendered on a daily basis. While being gendered correctly in public does feel nice, I don't believe it's in any way necessary. I present incredibly androgynous, and have a firm stance on getting rid of the idea that people must fall under certain gender constructs to be deemed valid. Gender expression and gender identity are two completely different things, and in no way does one invalidate the other. So even to the trans people who don't want to pass: you're still completely 100% valid, and still trans. Thank you for this video Chase, it makes me feel a lot better about how I stand on the whole passing subject with myself.
As a non-binary trans person, I don't really know how passing fits in my identity. Whether I try to appear more androgynous or not, I will still be misgendered for the rest of my life. I could take estrogen to start appearing slightly more androgynous also, but I don't really desire that. Because of not being able to "pass" in the society we live in, non-binary identities are by far the most invalidated. Society sees it as "fake" or trying to be "different'" and all these ridiculous things, but all we want is for others to respect our identities and pronouns. When people don't respect my identity and pronouns it's basically saying to me that they don't respect me as a person. I'm sure binary trans people feel this way as well.
Yukikun I feel you. As a fellow NB person, the fact that we can't even be acknowledged as "existing" is terrible. And the lack of NB people on UA-cam or in media is one of the problems as well. Young NBs like myself need someone to look up to in order to know "yes, this is what I can look like" and to feel validated similar to how all the trans people have youtubers like Chase and Ty,
I couldn't help but smile when you went "Not you, you look good today!". This is an issue I constantly struggle with and I know that I'm not alone when it comes to feeling this way but it sometimes feels that way. You know? I don't know. Thank you for talking about this, Chase. I feel that the whole concept of "passing" is not only problematic as you've stated but it's also a huge stressor because (I can't speak for anyone but myself) it's something I strive for.
This helped me alot, thank you Chase! For 3 months I have been "They/Them" because I have long hair, and I HATE being called a girl because I don't feel like one. Thank you again Chase.
This video really helps me. I told my parents that I might be trans which is something they kind of hate. My mom would cry when we talked about it so to make her feel better I'd wear "girl" clothes. I didn't feel trans enough and I felt like part of me was missing. It's good that some trans people in the community talk about passing like you do, Chase. It's a healthier thing for the community then saying you have to pass to be trans.
honestly, i have so much love for how much empathy you have for this community and how much you help us. like, thank you so so much. it really really helps
YESSSS. this topic needed to be brought up. I constantly feel othered, not only by the cis world but by my own trans community, because I don't pass due to not being on T. PASSING IS A PRIVILEGE. Not everyone has access to medically transition...some are at risk of becoming homeless and jobless...some just aren't able to afford it. I hate having to feel like I'm not trans enough. I also feel like I am constantly asked why I got top surgery without going on T. Many of my transbrothers can't understand why I would get surgery but not go on T. Transition is different to everyone.
I'm actually crying, I so needed this today. I just was told I am not trans and I just do it because it's "a trend" because I don't pass. I can't transition yet because it's not safe for me and it made me feel so bad to hear that. Thank you so much for this.
As of right now, I won't be on hormones or have surgery because of other factors in my life holding me back from doing it. I definitely don't pass and get misgendered ALL THE TIME. BUT. I so needed this so badly. Thank you, Chase. You're amazing.
I have been watching all your videos, old and new, for the last 2 weeks and they have really helped me. I am still trying to figure out where I fall on the spectrum and you have been a huge help to me! So thank you so much for making videos :)
Thanks for this video! I really needed to be reminded of the obvious. Being a girl is just a part of me that whether i pass or not that this doesn’t change who i am on the inside. I love your videos so much.
This is so important cause I think the reason I was in denial for so long was because I knew I didn't pass and I had this idea that I didn't have the right to make people call me by male pronouns if I didn't pass.
Great video! I personally pass really well, but i'm always perceived as being gay or like 10, which is fine lmao. You should make a video talking about the new law passed in North Carolina, regarding discrimination of the Lgbt community. It makes it so trans people cant use the correct bathroom, until they get their birth certificate changed which can only happen through reassignment surgery. It also takes down any laws passed the were keeping lgbt protected in the work place or schools, even businesses. So like you could go into MacDonalds, and the cashier to decide literally kick you out for being trans, or gay.
I definitely needed this right now, I have a super conflicting relationship on whether or not I want to go on HRT in the future, and I'm also a guy with just a really androgynous fashion sense but I sometimes feel like "no, I'm a trans guy, I have to wear ONLY MAN CLOTHES, no androgyny allowed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", and I just have really wide hips so passing is something that only happens to me pretty rarely, but I'm trying to work through feeling invalidated just because I can't most of the time at this point in life
Thank you so much for this. I'm FTM Trans, and it's been really hard for me lately because my family doesn't accept it. They think it's either a phase or a mental disorder. Because they don't accept it I have no way of buying a binder, getting hormones, etc. so I've really been feeling that if I don't look male then I can't be trans, and It really kills inside to be trans and then be told you're not just because society says so. This has really helped me to feel a bit better about it all, and my friends now call me by Levi and use him/he/his pronouns. Most of them anyways. I wanted to thank you for this, though, because I feel like some of my confidence has come back, just by knowing I'm not alone and that in a way I'm being acknowledged. Thank you!
This legit made me cry but made me feel so much better, I'm still waiting for hormones (cos UK sucks) and have been waiting nearly 2 years. Feel so much more valid, love you chase.
Oh damn I feel you on the "I'm only trans when I start to pass". I'm open if someone asks but I'm way to anxious to correct people or say it outright. Just fear honestly. But I'm really hoping T will help with my passing and give me more confidence to not let myself be treated like a doormat haha.
I just got misgendered at the convenience store and this was the first video on my main page. I feel a lot better now after watching this. Thank you, chase. You’re my favorite trans UA-camr and I got the confidence to come out and go on hormones because of you ❤️ Thank you for this video!
Thanks for making this video man, I can't wear binders or sports bras a lot because I am incredibly sensitive to pressure on my ribcage. It gives me a lot of back pain and it's just generally uncomfortable for me. While I do know that that isn't making me any less trans, it does feel nice to have someone validate you again, makes coping with anxiety and all a bit easier
You brought up a very interesting thing I wanna talk about. Around 11 minutes into the video, you said something along the lines of, "I don't exist until I'm trans," which can also mean, for me as a trans man, "I don't exist until I'm passing." And I know you've already been through this, but that's where I am right now. I cannot pass as a cis man for shit. We're basing our entire existences and beings off of being 'cis' or 'passing' for cis and...that creates something very toxic within our hearts; this assumption that we're not real people and that we don't matter, or can't be taken seriously, until we're passing. How unfair is that? How horrible is that? It's freaking horrible! Cis looking or not, when a man says that he's a man...he's a man! Nobody should question that or invalidate a person just because they don't fit into whatever boxes society thinks 'male' and 'female' fall into. And from what I'm hearing, trans people are privy to those same gender biases, too, to the point where they will tear down other trans people. It's painful. And it needs to stop. We're a community, a family, and we need to support each other no matter what stage of transition we're at.
Thank you. :') I want to start hormones this year, but my parents threaten to potentially cut off contact with me and stop paying for school (I still have two more years of college in the US so yikes if that happens). They're starting to see a therapist together to work through their stuff at least, but I really don't want to have to put off my happiness if I don't have to. Imagining being forced into a situation of putting off any physical transition until after college is just... Getting there would be so hard. But yeah, thanks again for your vids :)
I'm nonbinary and my body is by no means masculine, and I happen to like make-up and some other things considered "female" I'm probably never going to pass and that sucks, but well, no can do. This subject was just on my mind and then you uploaded, wtf you are the best.
I'm in the same boat! I wear masculine clothes and there have been a few times I've been in public and somebody called me sir, then when I spoke or turned around there was this look of straight panic
+Quin Hayday Well even though I half of my clothes basically are from mens section, my boobs are too big to bind all the way down and hips too wide to look like a mans. I would be so happy if even once in my lifetime someone called me sir :D
sanni jokinen I feel you, I think the only reason it happens is because my style is so bad that nobody would think a girl would willingly put that on 😂
+TheWeirdo like he's helped make me feel so much more comfortable with myself and it's really helped me. I've been so hard on myself and I've loved his channel for years now and he's really helped me discover myself
I'll be watching this video each time I feel invalidated for being trans. Living in a country that's transphobic and having no access to HRT is really a struggle. There have been times when people would gender me properly all by accident and it felt great, and as of recently I'm asking people I trust to use male pronouns and my name Daniel. It will definitely take time for us all to get use to and learn and that's okay as long as no one's disrespecting each other.
You are such a great person. I don't think I'm trans, at least not in the binary sense, but I do feel like I'm not entirely male or female ... I don't know .. It really helps to listen to you, you seems so nice and accepting and God I love you sometimes
I can relate so much to all this! I often have trouble believing and accepting than I am truly trans and valid as the man I feel I am! I feel like there's no way to prove that it's real and even when people try to be supportive there just humoring me. I'm 30 years old but still pre-T, I didn't understand myself until later in life. I am extremely overweight so finding a binder that would fit would be really hard and I doubt I would get good results anyway. Also this concept of strapping on an uncomfortable garment everyday just so the world can accept me actually makes me more dysphoric. I never wore a bra when I thought I was a girl so binding now kind of acknowledges the problem and makes me more anxious. I never acted girly ever, I always had short hair, I always shop in the men's department and I've been using this masculine nickname since I was 10. So now I know I'm actually a guy but there's nothing I can do to acknowledge this in a tangible way and make other people see it, because absolutely nothing has changed! I was already super masculine but because they knew me as a girl that's how they saw me so now there's no way to prove that this is something more or make it feel concrete and tangible. While I'm extremely grateful I haven't gotten much hate no reaction at all kind of sucks too! It's like okay I'm a guy now, so fucking what, who gives a shit! as I wait for the opportunity to medically transition there's not much else I can do but I crave satisfying it in some way. I know I'm a man but I can also feel my female body deluding my internal masculinity and it sucks. And I'm not just talking about internalized toxic masculinity /transphobia. I don't feel like a trans guy, I feel like a normal guy with all of the symptoms of low T! I just want to feel alive and energetic and positive and be the person I know I can should be! But I suffer from anxiety and depression and I'm also bipolar. so the thought of getting a ride from a transportation service with people I've never met to go an hour away to a place I've never been and meet a brand new doctor and try to convince them that I'm actually a guy when half the time I can't even convince myself and not even knowing if I'm healthy enough to start T has all paralyzed me. It just seems too overwhelming to face I know I need to work on my mental health first but the dysphoria is getting really fucking bad and I know I'll never be happy until I transition which is impossible with debilitating depression!! I feel like it would really help with my dysphoria if I saw other people that present very much the way they were born but identify completely different whatever they're okay with it or in the process of correcting it. I think practice realizing that these people are still who they say they are despite their appearance would help me apply that to myself but that's not the image of being transgender that's ever I shown in the media. When it comes to trying to be gendered correctly if you don't pass, I think it's similar to those brain exercises where the name of a color is written in different color text and it's hard for your brain to process just the word or just the text color without getting confused. Our brains receive conflicting information. in our hearts we know a person is valid as who they say they are but our ability to recognize these physical differences is instinctual and subconscious. It applies when referring to other people but also to yourself and it can be extremely confusing and frustrating.
also I cope by living online and gaming because I can be seen as a normal guy, until I talk that is! editing gaming videos when the sound of your own voice makes you feel sick or like a knife to the chest is awful!
I identify with agender/transmasculine, and I rarely pass (when i physically pass, my voice is a give away) I often feel invalid when I like feminine things, or wear feminine clothes (especially if its willing, and I'm comfortable) I just often remind myself men can do it too.
This video was great, it made me feel a bit better about what i'm going through. i have neither the access nor privilege right now because of family so its been hell and how i thought of myself as not trans enough because i still cant pass the way i want. i can be honest about me being trans in most cases just never with family, its a mess and i still have to cover myself in feminine clothing and all so that just twists everything up, but yeah this video helped. So thank you, it really gave me a better perspective on things.
I appreciate this a lot. I’m agender but have bad dysphoria and I would rather pass as a guy than a girl. It’s difficult because I’m in a situation where I can’t cut my hair short or get a binder.
I really love swimming and I miss it soooo much because the last couple of years I've been so uncomfortable with my chest. I can't comfortably go swimming, even just with friends/family, and it ruins the fun for me. urgh.
I know this vid is almost a year old but I just stumbled on it today and honestly I really needed to see this right now I'm having such a tough time atm and I just wanted to thank you even though you probably wont see this comment because of this vids age thank you from the bottom of my
I'm non-binary, but my sex is female, and I have a weird experience with passing. I had long hair until very recently, and I never passed (by which I mean people can't decide what binary gender I am), but recently I cut my hair really short, and now I pass as male. It's odd, because you don't really hear about trans people feeling dysphoric about being seen as the opposite sex, but every time I hear someone assume I'm male, it's almost worse than when people assume I'm female. I guess it's just because I've hated being female my entire life, and now I finally don't have to anymore, but as soon as I stopped being misgendered as female, the whole thing reversed entirely. I don't know why I'm saying this, but it just sucks, I guess.
Thank you for this topic , I am a very large obese trans guy and I only have one binder , and I have been unemployed for over 2 years and I can't afford surgery and binders .
honestly I wish I could tell my "friends" this because they never validate me unless I'm dressed in a super masculine way and I wish they could just understand this. I can't wear my binder as much because I've got a bruised rib from it but it makes me so dysphoric. I really needed this video right now (even though I'm watching this late lmao rip me)
Thank you so much for this video. ^_^ I just spontaneously came out to my dad and stepmum as some degree of trans. They are a bit confused because I actually don't care about passing.
I love you Chase! I'm 19 and I can't get hormones because of still living with my family, but I hope to get them once I move out sometime in the near future.
+Theo Foster, how do autism make you not being able to bind so much? Autism isn't a physical disorder. It's just something that affect your personality.
you're actually wrong. autism can cause impaired social interaction and communication, but most autistic people have problems with the way they perceive senses, normally either too strong or not strong enough. which results in not being able to eat certain foods, wear certain clothes, hear certain noises, or see certain things, without having a panic attack.
Yeah, I don't bind very much due to it being tighter lately but I do it for the sake of comfort and safety at the gym. And I hear you on the toxic masculinity, I hear all too often where you aren't trans enough because you aren't a huge manly man or aren't very interested in passing and thinking of it as the ultimate goal. people need to realize that transition is not very accessible to everyone. Like you, I also have privilege of going on hormones and being able to get top surgery very soon and had to check it often when I am interacting with those that are early on in their journey.
This is so relevant to me. I ID as nonbinary and use they/them pronouns, but think I'd really prefer to be called 'he.' But I often feel like I'm not entitled to that becauseI don't pass and probably won't ever medically transition or be seen as male by anybody outside the trans community. Ugh. Gender things are confusing! Anyway, thanks for this video, Chase! I love everything you post but this especially connected. I shared it too, so hopefully some other trans folks I know who don't always pass will get some good vibes.
I love this so much it's actually cheered me up watching this today !!! I've been out as trans for 5 years on T for 2 1/2 years and I still get miss gendered 😢 I've had a slower T transition than most due to health and mental health issues 😕 so I have little to no facial hair and still look very "feminine" and now ...I can't bind due to issues with my back and ribs 😢 I have a large chest and can't get top surgery until I have lost a lot of weight 😣 so right now I'm a big ball of anxiety and self hate and dysphoria !
I switch between binders and sports bras and honestly even when binding I don't feel like I pass. And even when I do, as soon as people hear my voice they know. I hate it.
I dont pass and it sucks so much. I've been out for 3 years and I only pass occasionally. Those times I do pass are so great! But other times when I get called female are horrendous.
Hey Chase. I personally identify as trans male; however I can't safely come out and go on hormones or anything because of my family and their religious views. So I can't do anything right now and I feel powerless and crippled at times (dysphoria). However being severely discouraged by my family and everyone I really know; I still feel trans and nothing is going to change that. Ever. I am me and you are you. And just because I am a trans guy and loves to wear high heels and make up doesn't make you any less of a man. Same goes of everyone else in society. Nothing can be strictly feminine or masculine.
As always, I related to the entire video, but the last part I *REALLY* related to. Within the past few weeks, my guidance counselors at my high school have been telling all faculty to use my name and correct pronouns. I don't pass at all, i'm not actively trying either, I wear whats comfortable and if i "pass" then that's great but its not a a priority at this moment. Thank you for this video.
being in north carolina we no longer have protection. and we are only allowed to use the bathrooms that match the gender on our birth certificates :( "cries"
I dont pass but a few people at my school have come up to me and asked if I would like them to call me Lucas instead of my birth name. My family don't hate trans people but they haven't done anything towards it. I keep wanting to talk to them about what I want but I don't want my little brother to know until I pass. Most of my friends call me Lucas now. One day I was talking to two of my friends and one of them said 'you're not trans because you dont have boy parts'. I still have to keep telling her what being transgender actually means over and over , but I know one day she'll understand it.
I needed this. I don't know if I'll ever be able to go on hormones since I'm wanting to become a professional singer and musician. I'm terrified of losing my vocal abilities if I ever go on T. Even if I never go on T, at least I know someone stills sees me and me.
Im not trans but i find myself watching these videos to educate myself. Thank you for making these videos for a cis woman like me who wants to be supportive and politically correct!
my endocrinologist totally hates the medicalisation of trans identities and was basically like "you're trans. do whatever the fuck you want. whatever's right for you" and was super casual and that's awesome. like. he doesn't care if anyone passes he just writes down the name and pronouns we want him to use
but yeah i can't transition right now and he was super chill about it
I don't pass, not even close, and def really fckin sucks. This makes me actually feel a lot better
I don't even come close to passing and I won't for a long ass time, watching this makes me feel more validated.
Before I came out I tried super hard to be female, but it didn't feel right. When I finally figured out why I hated being a girl so much and I came out, I got so much shit for being feminine (because I like nail polish and my voice is fairly high pitch) and still identifying as male. It did bother me for a while but now I totally own it, because I'm fabulous, and this video is great for showing other people that they don't have to pass to identify as the gender they do. You're awesome Chase :)
YOU SHOULD DO THE "TALKING TO SOCIETY" THING!! XD Another great video. Thank you. :)
I am also one of those people who cant pass because of family and so many other things so it puts me down and makes me feel like a joke because my family sees it as that because i cant pass. Thank you Chase this helped me you are an amazing human being
This is such an important topic to discuss. I'm a trans man but I really hate to present as traditionally masculine. It's not my style or part of my personality. I've been on T for over a year, and still hardly ever pass due to my feminine traits. When someone hears a feminine inflection or sees painted nails they instantly go to 'female' in their head, resulting in me getting misgendered on a daily basis. While being gendered correctly in public does feel nice, I don't believe it's in any way necessary. I present incredibly androgynous, and have a firm stance on getting rid of the idea that people must fall under certain gender constructs to be deemed valid. Gender expression and gender identity are two completely different things, and in no way does one invalidate the other. So even to the trans people who don't want to pass: you're still completely 100% valid, and still trans. Thank you for this video Chase, it makes me feel a lot better about how I stand on the whole passing subject with myself.
As a non-binary trans person, I don't really know how passing fits in my identity. Whether I try to appear more androgynous or not, I will still be misgendered for the rest of my life. I could take estrogen to start appearing slightly more androgynous also, but I don't really desire that. Because of not being able to "pass" in the society we live in, non-binary identities are by far the most invalidated. Society sees it as "fake" or trying to be "different'" and all these ridiculous things, but all we want is for others to respect our identities and pronouns. When people don't respect my identity and pronouns it's basically saying to me that they don't respect me as a person. I'm sure binary trans people feel this way as well.
Yukikun I feel you. As a fellow NB person, the fact that we can't even be acknowledged as "existing" is terrible. And the lack of NB people on UA-cam or in media is one of the problems as well. Young NBs like myself need someone to look up to in order to know "yes, this is what I can look like" and to feel validated similar to how all the trans people have youtubers like Chase and Ty,
I couldn't help but smile when you went "Not you, you look good today!". This is an issue I constantly struggle with and I know that I'm not alone when it comes to feeling this way but it sometimes feels that way. You know? I don't know. Thank you for talking about this, Chase. I feel that the whole concept of "passing" is not only problematic as you've stated but it's also a huge stressor because (I can't speak for anyone but myself) it's something I strive for.
This video was SO necessary, holy shit.
Love
1. This is the best video ever
2. I would absolutely watch a video where you talk to society
This helped me alot, thank you Chase! For 3 months I have been "They/Them" because I have long hair, and I HATE being called a girl because I don't feel like one. Thank you again Chase.
I'm low key in love with your laugh 😄😂
I've had a really dysphoric day, ended up watching a bunch of your vids before I found this. Thank you, I really needed this.
OMG your videos always come in the right time, THANK YOU!
Thanks, needed this right now.
This video really helps me. I told my parents that I might be trans which is something they kind of hate. My mom would cry when we talked about it so to make her feel better I'd wear "girl" clothes. I didn't feel trans enough and I felt like part of me was missing. It's good that some trans people in the community talk about passing like you do, Chase. It's a healthier thing for the community then saying you have to pass to be trans.
honestly, i have so much love for how much empathy you have for this community and how much you help us. like, thank you so so much. it really really helps
YESSSS. this topic needed to be brought up. I constantly feel othered, not only by the cis world but by my own trans community, because I don't pass due to not being on T. PASSING IS A PRIVILEGE. Not everyone has access to medically transition...some are at risk of becoming homeless and jobless...some just aren't able to afford it. I hate having to feel like I'm not trans enough. I also feel like I am constantly asked why I got top surgery without going on T. Many of my transbrothers can't understand why I would get surgery but not go on T. Transition is different to everyone.
love you Chase. you're a legend.
It's sad that there even has to be a video like this! Of course you are a(trans)man/woman, even if you don't pass... that shouldn't even be an issue..
I'm actually crying, I so needed this today. I just was told I am not trans and I just do it because it's "a trend" because I don't pass. I can't transition yet because it's not safe for me and it made me feel so bad to hear that. Thank you so much for this.
As of right now, I won't be on hormones or have surgery because of other factors in my life holding me back from doing it. I definitely don't pass and get misgendered ALL THE TIME. BUT. I so needed this so badly. Thank you, Chase. You're amazing.
I have been watching all your videos, old and new, for the last 2 weeks and they have really helped me. I am still trying to figure out where I fall on the spectrum and you have been a huge help to me! So thank you so much for making videos :)
I just got extremely nervous. Idk why or what happened, but this made me tremble...I need a hug
Thanks! Thank you so much for this! I cant really say how much it helped me to hear these things. Thank you!
Chase always has good video ideas, and I love his energetic personality in this video!
Thanks for this video! I really needed to be reminded of the obvious. Being a girl is just a part of me that whether i pass or not that this doesn’t change who i am on the inside. I love your videos so much.
as someone who either passes well or doesn't, it gets stressful to not know what will happen next. this video helped me a lot!!
So gonna watch this everytime from now on when my dysphoria hits me again. :')
i have been feeling constant dysphoria for the last like, r days, it's one of my worst times, and i really needed to come back to this and hear it.
I’m hurting but I know I’ll get better. I’ll make myself happen. I’ll make myself happy. I can do it.
Thank you Chase you are amazing ! This video helped me so much ! Now I actually feel like I'm worth something !
You are who you are regardless of validation from *anyone*. I had to go through a lot to come to that mentality, but it helps.
This is so important cause I think the reason I was in denial for so long was because I knew I didn't pass and I had this idea that I didn't have the right to make people call me by male pronouns if I didn't pass.
Great video! I personally pass really well, but i'm always perceived as being gay or like 10, which is fine lmao. You should make a video talking about the new law passed in North Carolina, regarding discrimination of the Lgbt community. It makes it so trans people cant use the correct bathroom, until they get their birth certificate changed which can only happen through reassignment surgery. It also takes down any laws passed the were keeping lgbt protected in the work place or schools, even businesses. So like you could go into MacDonalds, and the cashier to decide literally kick you out for being trans, or gay.
I definitely needed this right now, I have a super conflicting relationship on whether or not I want to go on HRT in the future, and I'm also a guy with just a really androgynous fashion sense but I sometimes feel like "no, I'm a trans guy, I have to wear ONLY MAN CLOTHES, no androgyny allowed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", and I just have really wide hips so passing is something that only happens to me pretty rarely, but I'm trying to work through feeling invalidated just because I can't most of the time at this point in life
Thank you so much for this. I'm FTM Trans, and it's been really hard for me lately because my family doesn't accept it. They think it's either a phase or a mental disorder. Because they don't accept it I have no way of buying a binder, getting hormones, etc. so I've really been feeling that if I don't look male then I can't be trans, and It really kills inside to be trans and then be told you're not just because society says so. This has really helped me to feel a bit better about it all, and my friends now call me by Levi and use him/he/his pronouns. Most of them anyways. I wanted to thank you for this, though, because I feel like some of my confidence has come back, just by knowing I'm not alone and that in a way I'm being acknowledged. Thank you!
Where do you live in the world? Look for binder exchange schemes in your area. Guys who are post top donate their binders for the "younger" guys.
This legit made me cry but made me feel so much better, I'm still waiting for hormones (cos UK sucks) and have been waiting nearly 2 years. Feel so much more valid, love you chase.
I choked when you said "Chest piece" my god 😂
Oh damn I feel you on the "I'm only trans when I start to pass". I'm open if someone asks but I'm way to anxious to correct people or say it outright. Just fear honestly. But I'm really hoping T will help with my passing and give me more confidence to not let myself be treated like a doormat haha.
This video is so amazing. My channel needs discussions like this. Iv always supported you chase
Thanks! Let's collab on something!
***** oh my word that would be Amazing we can shed on so many things together. Can you message me on UA-cam?
^^^ Goals
This video is what kept me alive. thank you so so much, chase.
I just got misgendered at the convenience store and this was the first video on my main page. I feel a lot better now after watching this. Thank you, chase. You’re my favorite trans UA-camr and I got the confidence to come out and go on hormones because of you ❤️
Thank you for this video!
Thanks for making this video man, I can't wear binders or sports bras a lot because I am incredibly sensitive to pressure on my ribcage. It gives me a lot of back pain and it's just generally uncomfortable for me. While I do know that that isn't making me any less trans, it does feel nice to have someone validate you again, makes coping with anxiety and all a bit easier
Honestly... thank you. Your videos help me out of the worst crap all the time.
I needed to hear this so bad and I didn't even know it. Thank you for this. You are amazing.
You brought up a very interesting thing I wanna talk about. Around 11 minutes into the video, you said something along the lines of, "I don't exist until I'm trans," which can also mean, for me as a trans man, "I don't exist until I'm passing." And I know you've already been through this, but that's where I am right now. I cannot pass as a cis man for shit. We're basing our entire existences and beings off of being 'cis' or 'passing' for cis and...that creates something very toxic within our hearts; this assumption that we're not real people and that we don't matter, or can't be taken seriously, until we're passing. How unfair is that? How horrible is that? It's freaking horrible! Cis looking or not, when a man says that he's a man...he's a man! Nobody should question that or invalidate a person just because they don't fit into whatever boxes society thinks 'male' and 'female' fall into. And from what I'm hearing, trans people are privy to those same gender biases, too, to the point where they will tear down other trans people. It's painful. And it needs to stop. We're a community, a family, and we need to support each other no matter what stage of transition we're at.
Thank youuuuu for this. The whole safety thing was really relatable.
right time man...been feeling all those things you described. thank you for helping us be positive.
Thank you. :') I want to start hormones this year, but my parents threaten to potentially cut off contact with me and stop paying for school (I still have two more years of college in the US so yikes if that happens). They're starting to see a therapist together to work through their stuff at least, but I really don't want to have to put off my happiness if I don't have to. Imagining being forced into a situation of putting off any physical transition until after college is just... Getting there would be so hard. But yeah, thanks again for your vids :)
I'm nonbinary and my body is by no means masculine, and I happen to like make-up and some other things considered "female" I'm probably never going to pass and that sucks, but well, no can do. This subject was just on my mind and then you uploaded, wtf you are the best.
I'm in the same boat! I wear masculine clothes and there have been a few times I've been in public and somebody called me sir, then when I spoke or turned around there was this look of straight panic
+Quin Hayday Well even though I half of my clothes basically are from mens section, my boobs are too big to bind all the way down and hips too wide to look like a mans. I would be so happy if even once in my lifetime someone called me sir :D
sanni jokinen I feel you, I think the only reason it happens is because my style is so bad that nobody would think a girl would willingly put that on 😂
+Quin Hayday :"Dd well thats one way of course!
Thank you, Chase. You have no idea how much this has helped me!
Omg first comment. Chase you've helped me realize so much. I'm so thankful for you.
+TheWeirdo like he's helped make me feel so much more comfortable with myself and it's really helped me. I've been so hard on myself and I've loved his channel for years now and he's really helped me discover myself
+TheWeirdo me too!!! 💖
I also, can not stand people yelling at me loudly, I feel you
I'll be watching this video each time I feel invalidated for being trans. Living in a country that's transphobic and having no access to HRT is really a struggle. There have been times when people would gender me properly all by accident and it felt great, and as of recently I'm asking people I trust to use male pronouns and my name Daniel. It will definitely take time for us all to get use to and learn and that's okay as long as no one's disrespecting each other.
You are such a great person. I don't think I'm trans, at least not in the binary sense, but I do feel like I'm not entirely male or female ... I don't know .. It really helps to listen to you, you seems so nice and accepting and God I love you sometimes
THIS MADE ME CRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much for this
I can relate so much to all this! I often have trouble believing and accepting than I am truly trans and valid as the man I feel I am! I feel like there's no way to prove that it's real and even when people try to be supportive there just humoring me. I'm 30 years old but still pre-T, I didn't understand myself until later in life. I am extremely overweight so finding a binder that would fit would be really hard and I doubt I would get good results anyway. Also this concept of strapping on an uncomfortable garment everyday just so the world can accept me actually makes me more dysphoric. I never wore a bra when I thought I was a girl so binding now kind of acknowledges the problem and makes me more anxious. I never acted girly ever, I always had short hair, I always shop in the men's department and I've been using this masculine nickname since I was 10. So now I know I'm actually a guy but there's nothing I can do to acknowledge this in a tangible way and make other people see it, because absolutely nothing has changed! I was already super masculine but because they knew me as a girl that's how they saw me so now there's no way to prove that this is something more or make it feel concrete and tangible.
While I'm extremely grateful I haven't gotten much hate no reaction at all kind of sucks too! It's like okay I'm a guy now, so fucking what, who gives a shit! as I wait for the opportunity to medically transition there's not much else I can do but I crave satisfying it in some way.
I know I'm a man but I can also feel my female body deluding my internal masculinity and it sucks. And I'm not just talking about internalized toxic masculinity /transphobia. I don't feel like a trans guy, I feel like a normal guy with all of the symptoms of low T! I just want to feel alive and energetic and positive and be the person I know I can should be!
But I suffer from anxiety and depression and I'm also bipolar. so the thought of getting a ride from a transportation service with people I've never met to go an hour away to a place I've never been and meet a brand new doctor and try to convince them that I'm actually a guy when half the time I can't even convince myself and not even knowing if I'm healthy enough to start T has all paralyzed me. It just seems too overwhelming to face I know I need to work on my mental health first but the dysphoria is getting really fucking bad and I know I'll never be happy until I transition which is impossible with debilitating depression!!
I feel like it would really help with my dysphoria if I saw other people that present very much the way they were born but identify completely different whatever they're okay with it or in the process of correcting it. I think practice realizing that these people are still who they say they are despite their appearance would help me apply that to myself but that's not the image of being transgender that's ever I shown in the media.
When it comes to trying to be gendered correctly if you don't pass, I think it's similar to those brain exercises where the name of a color is written in different color text and it's hard for your brain to process just the word or just the text color without getting confused. Our brains receive conflicting information. in our hearts we know a person is valid as who they say they are but our ability to recognize these physical differences is instinctual and subconscious. It applies when referring to other people but also to yourself and it can be extremely confusing and frustrating.
also I cope by living online and gaming because I can be seen as a normal guy, until I talk that is! editing gaming videos when the sound of your own voice makes you feel sick or like a knife to the chest is awful!
I really needed this. Thank you so much for doing what you do.
I identify with agender/transmasculine, and I rarely pass (when i physically pass, my voice is a give away) I often feel invalid when I like feminine things, or wear feminine clothes (especially if its willing, and I'm comfortable) I just often remind myself men can do it too.
you're so comforting, chase.
This video was great, it made me feel a bit better about what i'm going through. i have neither the access nor privilege right now because of family so its been hell and how i thought of myself as not trans enough because i still cant pass the way i want. i can be honest about me being trans in most cases just never with family, its a mess and i still have to cover myself in feminine clothing and all so that just twists everything up, but yeah this video helped. So thank you, it really gave me a better perspective on things.
These kind of videos always make me feel better
I appreciate this a lot. I’m agender but have bad dysphoria and I would rather pass as a guy than a girl. It’s difficult because I’m in a situation where I can’t cut my hair short or get a binder.
I really love swimming and I miss it soooo much because the last couple of years I've been so uncomfortable with my chest. I can't comfortably go swimming, even just with friends/family, and it ruins the fun for me. urgh.
I know this vid is almost a year old but I just stumbled on it today and honestly I really needed to see this right now I'm having such a tough time atm and I just wanted to thank you even though you probably wont see this comment because of this vids age thank you from the bottom of my
When you are non binary and don't pass as male or female and don't want to its so frustrating and complicated.
I'm non-binary, but my sex is female, and I have a weird experience with passing. I had long hair until very recently, and I never passed (by which I mean people can't decide what binary gender I am), but recently I cut my hair really short, and now I pass as male. It's odd, because you don't really hear about trans people feeling dysphoric about being seen as the opposite sex, but every time I hear someone assume I'm male, it's almost worse than when people assume I'm female. I guess it's just because I've hated being female my entire life, and now I finally don't have to anymore, but as soon as I stopped being misgendered as female, the whole thing reversed entirely. I don't know why I'm saying this, but it just sucks, I guess.
thumbs up on the "society, we need to talk video"!!!
IM SO SHOOK
YOU'RE SO BRAVE
Thank you for this topic , I am a very large obese trans guy and I only have one binder , and I have been unemployed for over 2 years and I can't afford surgery and binders .
same!
honestly I wish I could tell my "friends" this because they never validate me unless I'm dressed in a super masculine way and I wish they could just understand this. I can't wear my binder as much because I've got a bruised rib from it but it makes me so dysphoric. I really needed this video right now (even though I'm watching this late lmao rip me)
Thank you so much for this video. ^_^ I just spontaneously came out to my dad and stepmum as some degree of trans. They are a bit confused because I actually don't care about passing.
I love you Chase! I'm 19 and I can't get hormones because of still living with my family, but I hope to get them once I move out sometime in the near future.
That's awesome dude, hope it goes well!
I appreciate this video a ton. I have autism, and because of it I can't bind most of the time.
+Theo Foster, how do autism make you not being able to bind so much? Autism isn't a physical disorder. It's just something that affect your personality.
you're actually wrong. autism can cause impaired social interaction and communication, but most autistic people have problems with the way they perceive senses, normally either too strong or not strong enough. which results in not being able to eat certain foods, wear certain clothes, hear certain noises, or see certain things, without having a panic attack.
thank you for making this.. I'm crying rn
Yeah, I don't bind very much due to it being tighter lately but I do it for the sake of comfort and safety at the gym. And I hear you on the toxic masculinity, I hear all too often where you aren't trans enough because you aren't a huge manly man or aren't very interested in passing and thinking of it as the ultimate goal. people need to realize that transition is not very accessible to everyone. Like you, I also have privilege of going on hormones and being able to get top surgery very soon and had to check it often when I am interacting with those that are early on in their journey.
This is so relevant to me. I ID as nonbinary and use they/them pronouns, but think I'd really prefer to be called 'he.' But I often feel like I'm not entitled to that becauseI don't pass and probably won't ever medically transition or be seen as male by anybody outside the trans community. Ugh. Gender things are confusing! Anyway, thanks for this video, Chase! I love everything you post but this especially connected. I shared it too, so hopefully some other trans folks I know who don't always pass will get some good vibes.
I needed this so, so much. I've been feeling like such shit lately..
I love your Videos so much, because they help me so much to figure out who I am. Thanks to you I know that it is ok what I feel.
I love this so much it's actually cheered me up watching this today !!!
I've been out as trans for 5 years on T for 2 1/2 years and I still get miss gendered 😢 I've had a slower T transition than most due to health and mental health issues 😕 so I have little to no facial hair and still look very "feminine" and now ...I can't bind due to issues with my back and ribs 😢 I have a large chest and can't get top surgery until I have lost a lot of weight 😣 so right now I'm a big ball of anxiety and self hate and dysphoria !
We need to smoke out together lol your background is amazing dude. And we have the same spaced out funny mentality lol
I love your videos. You're so funny and you totally make my day. I always have a smile on my face after watching one of your videos.
You go chaseypoo!! Your videos always make me feel better, thanks ❤️
I switch between binders and sports bras and honestly even when binding I don't feel like I pass. And even when I do, as soon as people hear my voice they know. I hate it.
I dont pass and it sucks so much. I've been out for 3 years and I only pass occasionally. Those times I do pass are so great! But other times when I get called female are horrendous.
Hey Chase. I personally identify as trans male; however I can't safely come out and go on hormones or anything because of my family and their religious views. So I can't do anything right now and I feel powerless and crippled at times (dysphoria). However being severely discouraged by my family and everyone I really know; I still feel trans and nothing is going to change that. Ever. I am me and you are you. And just because I am a trans guy and loves to wear high heels and make up doesn't make you any less of a man. Same goes of everyone else in society. Nothing can be strictly feminine or masculine.
as someone who has non-supportive parents, i really need to hear this. also: moving to canada so i can fund my surgery!
You should get right on doing that society talk video. Oh and love yah!
your videos are amazing and im so grateful that you have this channel ♡
I really needed this today, thank you.
As always, I related to the entire video, but the last part I *REALLY* related to. Within the past few weeks, my guidance counselors at my high school have been telling all faculty to use my name and correct pronouns. I don't pass at all, i'm not actively trying either, I wear whats comfortable and if i "pass" then that's great but its not a a priority at this moment. Thank you for this video.
yes that's very complex. Thanks Chase
thank you so much. I been getting bullied on musically because I don't fit there standards for a transgender person or I don't look trans enough.
being in north carolina we no longer have protection. and we are only allowed to use the bathrooms that match the gender on our birth certificates :( "cries"
I dont pass but a few people at my school have come up to me and asked if I would like them to call me Lucas instead of my birth name. My family don't hate trans people but they haven't done anything towards it. I keep wanting to talk to them about what I want but I don't want my little brother to know until I pass. Most of my friends call me Lucas now. One day I was talking to two of my friends and one of them said 'you're not trans because you dont have boy parts'. I still have to keep telling her what being transgender actually means over and over , but I know one day she'll understand it.
internet hugs i love you man !! :')
I needed this. I don't know if I'll ever be able to go on hormones since I'm wanting to become a professional singer and musician. I'm terrified of losing my vocal abilities if I ever go on T. Even if I never go on T, at least I know someone stills sees me and me.
Dude l love you and your videos! Your content really helps me and makes me feel better about myself. Thank you for being amazing
Im not trans but i find myself watching these videos to educate myself. Thank you for making these videos for a cis woman like me who wants to be supportive and politically correct!