God should bless those who made wonderful comments about #Curehack on ig... He's really genius he helped me got access to my boyfriend WhatsApp because he suspected he was cheating on me 😳😒😒
God should bless those who made wonderful comments about #Curehack on ig... He's really genius he helped me got access to my boyfriend WhatsApp because he suspected he was cheating on me 😳🙄🙄
From least aggressive to most 1 open your mouth slightly, they can see you want to say something 2 the bookmark, put your hand a bit up 3 the pupil, raise your hand (as high as your face) 4 touch the side of there arm 5 the teacher, put one finger up and look around Prevent interuptions by telling at front I have 3 things to say..
I am radio broadcaster and I learned to interrupt just saying... "Umm...", "Oh...", "Woow..." + "So... [A little piece of what he said]" + "[Yes-No Question]. With that I can always finish a conversation or going fast to the real point of his speech, and the person never feel bad. ;)
My husband loves to talk about his work and explaining it to people but getting in a word to respond is really challenging. He hates being interrupted in a train of thought so if you try to say something he will keep going even louder. I will try your tips and see how it goes!😆
Anna Inman ooooh, I realize he is your husband so you have to be respectful to him, but when others do this to me I just stop giving them my attention mid conversation and usually just walk away or start talking to somebody else. They were really just having a conversation with themselves anyway.
These tips are too passive and don’t work with bad interrupters. I would use this person’s more direct tips instead ua-cam.com/video/a-2nTejZlik/v-deo.html
My family has this problem big time, and just by living around this, I had developed the same habit. It's so hard to break without actively thinking about it. One of my biggest problems when trying to avoid interrupting people is that the result is sometimes losing my train of thought or not getting to speak at all. Very frustrating being on either side lol
These are great tips, I can't wait to use them! Thank you, Vanessa. Perhaps I'm just more patient than others and willing to listen, but the majority of the people I know seem to love the sound of their own voice. It's difficult to get a word in and at times becomes frustrating. Then they have the gall to say that I'm a quiet person.
Great tips for dealing with talkative empaths. If you're dealing with a narc though they will either a. Neglect to notice any cues you're giving them or b. Steamroller your cues because they don't respect boundaries. They don't even understand what they are. Or the worst c. They will take offence to the aggressive cues and project the problem onto you e.g. "gawwwd I was only saying how rude are you?! Chill out why don't you". 😏
Good advise. Though, I usually have a couple other go-to's 1. I turn my chair slightly away and brush my hands forward on my thighs as I get up. This is to signal that our time has come to an end. 2. I'll text someone in the office to 'remind me of my urgent appointment'. 3. Fake receive a text from my boss I have to take care of immediately.
Those are great! Thank you! Here’s another very aggressive one I tried when I’m at my witts end. I have listened to you very politely for the last 10 minutes. I promise I won’t take any more time than you did and I get my points out as efficiently as I can.
I used to work at a Dr's office and when I needed to get a blabber off the phone I would say "Excuse me, can I put you on hold please" and then wait a little while, when I got back I said "Sorry its really busy here, is there anything else I can help you with?" That usually re-set the conversation so that they stopped telling me whatever long story that had nothing to do with anything and either got to the point or got off the phone.
These are great! the most challenging for me is my mom who not only interrupts and goes on and on. and on. Then gets full on ANGRY when anyone does it to her! haha Im another vote for how to do it on the phone!!
It's interesting I did this a few times and it worked. Actually taking a look on it, something I've always done to get my words in on certain discussions. Now I'm just more aware that I'm doing it. Thanks for this!
There are two methods I use. Not so subtle however. Hello? Hello? are you still there? I can't hear you. Call me later when you have a better connection. The second method I use is I start talking on the phone and hang up on myself. If they call you back text them and tell them you can't talk right now.
Kent Harris, what I do is text like you suggested. If they get offended tell them you are getting forgetful and if you text you can refer to it later and not forget what was said between you. This works like a charm and you look like the good guy for not wanting to forget the very important things they have to say
Great video. Thanks for the tips. I think the most difficult situation is in a group. At work (in meetings), we take turns with specific meeting roles. When assigned to ensure the conversation does not steer too far from the agenda, I sometimes have to just interrupt everyone and suggest whatever they are discussing be added to a future agenda. Nonverbal cues would never be noticed, lol. ☺️
I love the awkwardness of the bookmark cutaway scene. I mean it's not that awkward because you're great I just imagine doing a few takes of that would look funny lol
Thank you. How do you handle a person that frequently interrupts your conversation with another person and they stop to address he interruptor's questions before getting back to you.
Thank you for the video! I would like to ask what to do if I am speaking with the person on the phone, so all the nonverbal gestures are impossible to do? Also, is it acceptable if this person is my boss, and I just end the conversation with the Level #4 tactic every time I talk to him? Otherwise he would keep rambling about stories and repeating the same sentences over and over again.
It's important to recognise that if these five haven't worked, then the person is being rude to you, even if they're not aware of it, and it's OK to yell "For the love of God, stop talking."
While they're talking on the phone, say "By the way, I have three things to say about your X comment you just mentioned". Watch them wrap up their thought in no time.
How about level 1 tactics for getting a person who you are not in visual contact with - to stop talking. (You could be in the same room and directed different ways, or in different rooms)
I’d like more information for a group setting I’ve had someone talk and talk and I have politely agreed to something they said and she literally cut me off and said “I haven’t finished talking.” I was stunned 😧
Pause when you talk to let people talk. Pause in between sentences to not be obnoxious. It's actually incredibly selfish to take someone else's time to have a monologue and not a conversation.
It's good too have the realisation now, so that you can start working on this. Everyone has things to work on and you can start by asking people to give you feedback on how you're doing in not dominating the conversation 😊
I love u Vanessa u are doing very well I found all ur videos are amazing Can u plz talk more about married problems like wrong pattern of behavior or ...
How does this work on conference calls when you cannot see (or touch) the other participants? Hope you'll create a video on this same subject for non-video conference calls.
Oh no, the fish didn't work on two people I've had to interact with. They could see I wanted to say something when I fished but because they seem to like the sound of their own voice, they kept going and going and going... I've done the pupil on one of them and it works. As for the other person, we're no longer friends so I never had the chance to try that.
Sorry to interrupt but just to clarify with Level1 do you 1) make any sort of sound 2) do you open and close your mouth 3) how long do you keep it up for ? Thanks will shut up now Sinead Cornwall
I interned at a non profit and my boss had problems at 2-3 instances with me interrupting her politely for a question when she was talking to another person. This made me uncomfortable asking for a new task. I got more shy at work. I was only 20. How would one deal with this in an office where different people specialize in different tasks?
Your beautiful face sometimes is a distraction but thank you for the good work. I can't wait to test the tips and practice more body language. You are the best.
But what if I'm on the phone? None of these will work if the person rambles on the phone! The person I'm trying to deal with always rambles nonstop on the phone. He talks a lot in real life, but it's easier to deal with. I probably do the things in these videos subconsciously, plus other people are usually around too and they probably do that too. How do you deal with this on the phone?
How about when its outside your window. I face a parking space and people are clueless that I can hear EVERYthing they say. I dont want to shout at them from the balcony, but I sure want to some days. So how what can I do?
I had a rock bottom with someone like this ,managed to say I have a serious medical problem ,then she said got to go am running late for David so I said ok dont worry bye she realised she may not have got it right but the next conversation I was not even able to get the name of the body part where I think there is a chance I could have cancer . I n the words of Rhett Butler from now on its going to be "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" if she ever phones me again !
What do you do when it's over the phone and they can't see you. I work in customer service and often get people wont stop talking so that I can get on with my job and help. And employer penalizes us if we are on a call too long. And if I'm rude then we get in trouble for that. I hate customer service.
Wouldn't work on a guy I know,...he actually filibusters the conversation, and the term I use is a football term, he runs the clock out on himself, and I just excuse myself without really any productive conversation. He will spend 10 minutes on some irrelevant detail, like how to get to someones house 100 miles away who I do not even know, without ever getting to his original point. He will digress so often, the original topic is never visited, at least in the time frame I have. He also develops physical ticks, if he has to listen to anyone else for even a few seconds. If you open your mouth and start to speak, he actually starts shouting, as he thinks he is losing his turn forever. It's very annoying, and I seem to be the only one who even listens to him, he's been divorced a half dozen times. He either needs mental help or I need more beer.
I know there are different levels of value in conversation I believe there is five. But why is it that people interrupt you and do not let you finish what you're saying. Especially somebody close like your wife and they choose to argue and interrupt
Find out more in our full article on this topic:
www.scienceofpeople.com/stop-talking/
God should bless those who made wonderful comments about #Curehack on ig... He's really genius he helped me got access to my boyfriend WhatsApp because he suspected he was cheating on me 😳😒😒
God should bless those who made wonderful comments about #Curehack on ig... He's really genius he helped me got access to my boyfriend WhatsApp because he suspected he was cheating on me 😳🙄🙄
From least aggressive to most
1 open your mouth slightly, they can see you want to say something
2 the bookmark, put your hand a bit up
3 the pupil, raise your hand (as high as your face)
4 touch the side of there arm
5 the teacher, put one finger up and look around
Prevent interuptions by telling at front I have 3 things to say..
Even if you do that they're become aggressive and disrespectful is amazing you can't say nothing even you want to say I agree with you. Is an issue
@@aylex1974 yes some people are like that unfortunately
I am radio broadcaster and I learned to interrupt just saying...
"Umm...", "Oh...", "Woow..." + "So... [A little piece of what he said]" + "[Yes-No Question].
With that I can always finish a conversation or going fast to the real point of his speech, and the person never feel bad. ;)
would love an actual example Juan Antonio :)
My husband loves to talk about his work and explaining it to people but getting in a word to respond is really challenging. He hates being interrupted in a train of thought so if you try to say something he will keep going even louder. I will try your tips and see how it goes!😆
Anna Inman ooooh, I realize he is your husband so you have to be respectful to him, but when others do this to me I just stop giving them my attention mid conversation and usually just walk away or start talking to somebody else. They were really just having a conversation with themselves anyway.
That is incredibly obnoxious.
@@AMcDub0708 I love this! Such a boss move!
These tips are too passive and don’t work with bad interrupters. I would use this person’s more direct tips instead ua-cam.com/video/a-2nTejZlik/v-deo.html
My family has this problem big time, and just by living around this, I had developed the same habit. It's so hard to break without actively thinking about it. One of my biggest problems when trying to avoid interrupting people is that the result is sometimes losing my train of thought or not getting to speak at all. Very frustrating being on either side lol
These are great tips, I can't wait to use them! Thank you, Vanessa.
Perhaps I'm just more patient than others and willing to listen, but the majority of the people I know seem to love the sound of their own voice. It's difficult to get a word in and at times becomes frustrating. Then they have the gall to say that I'm a quiet person.
This is so helpful. I seem to constantly attract people who never stop talking!!
I think thats a sign that you are approachable
Great tips for dealing with talkative empaths. If you're dealing with a narc though they will either a. Neglect to notice any cues you're giving them or b. Steamroller your cues because they don't respect boundaries. They don't even understand what they are. Or the worst c. They will take offence to the aggressive cues and project the problem onto you e.g. "gawwwd I was only saying how rude are you?! Chill out why don't you". 😏
I'd love to hear strategies for interrupting or shifting topics in conference calls without seeming rude, aggressive, pushy
Good advise. Though, I usually have a couple other go-to's
1. I turn my chair slightly away and brush my hands forward on my thighs as I get up. This is to signal that our time has come to an end.
2. I'll text someone in the office to 'remind me of my urgent appointment'.
3. Fake receive a text from my boss I have to take care of immediately.
Those are great! Thank you! Here’s another very aggressive one I tried when I’m at my witts end. I have listened to you very politely for the last 10 minutes. I promise I won’t take any more time than you did and I get my points out as efficiently as I can.
Please, please, please create a video for how to do this on the phone!!
I used to work at a Dr's office and when I needed to get a blabber off the phone I would say "Excuse me, can I put you on hold please" and then wait a little while, when I got back I said "Sorry its really busy here, is there anything else I can help you with?" That usually re-set the conversation so that they stopped telling me whatever long story that had nothing to do with anything and either got to the point or got off the phone.
tell them you only text now cuz you got so much going on. works like a charm
@@TheCookiecupcakes
I think saying "Excuse me, can I put you on hold please" to a friend might lead to the end of the friendship.
@@archiemeijer9978 Yeah that's why I only used it in the context of a business call at work...
At work there is a guy with whom I have to do a level 6: I just walk away, and he still keeps talking
These are great! the most challenging for me is my mom who not only interrupts and goes on and on. and on. Then gets full on ANGRY when anyone does it to her! haha Im another vote for how to do it on the phone!!
It's interesting I did this a few times and it worked. Actually taking a look on it, something I've always done to get my words in on certain discussions. Now I'm just more aware that I'm doing it. Thanks for this!
informative video. could you make one about getting someone to stop talking on the phone?l
that's one I struggle with.
There are two methods I use. Not so subtle however. Hello? Hello? are you still there? I can't hear you. Call me later when you have a better connection. The second method I use is I start talking on the phone and hang up on myself. If they call you back text them and tell them you can't talk right now.
Kent Harris, what I do is text like you suggested. If they get offended tell them you are getting forgetful and if you text you can refer to it later and not forget what was said between you. This works like a charm and you look like the good guy for not wanting to forget the very important things they have to say
Great video. Thanks for the tips. I think the most difficult situation is in a group. At work (in meetings), we take turns with specific meeting roles. When assigned to ensure the conversation does not steer too far from the agenda, I sometimes have to just interrupt everyone and suggest whatever they are discussing be added to a future agenda. Nonverbal cues would never be noticed, lol. ☺️
I loved this video. It was organised, concise and wasted not time!
I love the awkwardness of the bookmark cutaway scene. I mean it's not that awkward because you're great I just imagine doing a few takes of that would look funny lol
"Hey, would you hold that thought for a minute!" (And then... RUN AWAY!)
I need suggestions for phone conversations.
text
Love from India❤
There's an awesome tip Vanessa, thought it would be unprofessional to use these cues. But now will use these things🎉
So glad you're going to try them out when needed! ❤
I laugh so guard when you said getting them to rap it up 😆 🤣
I just smile and say I have to get back to work, gotta run! 😃
Vanessa, do you have any good ways to get a narcissist to stop interrupting? Thanks.
Thank you. How do you handle a person that frequently interrupts your conversation with another person and they stop to address he interruptor's questions before getting back to you.
Brilliant! Great info! Thank you so much! 👏🏻
You are so welcome! Glad you enjoyed it 😊
U r really a master.. No one can play with u.. Ur body language videos are phenomenal.. I request u to do more videos on these lines mam..
Thank you for this!
So smart! But I'm to shy to interrupt haha, so I get annoyed if I'm in a hurry. But I will try this next time :)
Oh you’re awesome! I wish I had you in front of me talking continuously. How dare me use one of these tips to interrupt you!
Thank you for the video! I would like to ask what to do if I am speaking with the person on the phone, so all the nonverbal gestures are impossible to do? Also, is it acceptable if this person is my boss, and I just end the conversation with the Level #4 tactic every time I talk to him? Otherwise he would keep rambling about stories and repeating the same sentences over and over again.
It's important to recognise that if these five haven't worked, then the person is being rude to you, even if they're not aware of it, and it's OK to yell "For the love of God, stop talking."
😂
This same thing but on the phone please!
While they're talking on the phone, say "By the way, I have three things to say about your X comment you just mentioned". Watch them wrap up their thought in no time.
Tell them you only text now cuz you're so busy.
@@karenkramer3760
Not believable. I'm unemployed because of the pandemic.
@@chlidera75
Not a great method if you want to maintain a friendship despite him being a rambler.
Last step is yelling😂 jk thank you for these steps I need to use them with my family
So helpful thank you! and you're very charming!
What if you just want them to stop talking, so that there can be pauses? Not necessarily because you want to say anything?
I can't stop watching you!
Thank you so much for posting!
As your book is named, captivate... You're gorgeously captivating
Thank You sooo much dearest sweeties 💐🙏🏼
You’re such an inspiration ❣️
Stay Blissful Eternally 😇🕉💖
It gets worse when you need to carry out a common task with the person with verbal diarrhea.
ohmg I do those without knowing they actually were a thing
I do the stop sign but some people still don't get it
How about level 1 tactics for getting a person who you are not in visual contact with - to stop talking. (You could be in the same room and directed different ways, or in different rooms)
Thank you!😊
I’d like more information for a group setting I’ve had someone talk and talk and I have politely agreed to something they said and she literally cut me off and said “I haven’t finished talking.” I was stunned 😧
Those are great tips
just bought the book!!
Those were awesome!!
Non of these work with narcisists
I had a boss who literally said to me "Stop Talking" what level is that? 10?
Do you often get told you talk too much?
LOL
Geez I am a chatty Cathy watching this hurts but I realize I have trouble to stop talking
Gamer Lily the first step to change is to acknowledge you have a problem 😁
You dont have to stop talking....
Pause when you talk to let people talk. Pause in between sentences to not be obnoxious. It's actually incredibly selfish to take someone else's time to have a monologue and not a conversation.
It's good too have the realisation now, so that you can start working on this. Everyone has things to work on and you can start by asking people to give you feedback on how you're doing in not dominating the conversation 😊
this is amazing! i$m going to try these now ☺
I love u Vanessa u are doing very well I found all ur videos are amazing
Can u plz talk more about married problems like wrong pattern of behavior or ...
How does this work on conference calls when you cannot see (or touch) the other participants? Hope you'll create a video on this same subject for non-video conference calls.
Thank you vanessa 😊
This will really be useful at work. And with the in-laws. :P
I had never thought of level 4 before. Will definitely have to try this progression out.
What do you do when Levels 4 and 5 don't work?
Those dont work. I walked away. The guy was still talking. I was driving away the guy was still talking.
literally had a car salesman do that
😂
Hard to do over the phone and most times these types don't take ques, it's better to work on your exit.
What do you do with people who talk for ever and then tell that you’re interrupting them?
Love it! What about phone conversations when you can’t see someone? I have a lot of phone meetings where some folks need to be interrupted haha!
Interesting i am Going 2 Start doing that & See 👀 what happens
In group of bad people, your level 5 is actually level 0 beginner very polite
Oh no, the fish didn't work on two people I've had to interact with. They could see I wanted to say something when I fished but because they seem to like the sound of their own voice, they kept going and going and going... I've done the pupil on one of them and it works. As for the other person, we're no longer friends so I never had the chance to try that.
thnx
Great Tips perfect i will try that on my grandparents old people
Sorry to interrupt but just to clarify with Level1 do you 1) make any sort of sound 2) do you open and close your mouth 3) how long do you keep it up for ? Thanks will shut up now Sinead Cornwall
Good questions! They are explained more in this article: www.scienceofpeople.com/stop-people-interrupting/
What works for phone conversations? I need it with my talkaholic friend.
I interned at a non profit and my boss had problems at 2-3 instances with me interrupting her politely for a question when she was talking to another person. This made me uncomfortable asking for a new task. I got more shy at work. I was only 20. How would one deal with this in an office where different people specialize in different tasks?
I bought your book Vaness! Yay! I am so happy. Thanks! I will buy all of your books!
Oh gosh, this is perfect thank you. I have a lovely friend that's well... always got a lot to say. :P
Or you could just say, "Imma let you finish.." lol
Your beautiful face sometimes is a distraction but thank you for the good work. I can't wait to test the tips and practice more body language. You are the best.
Numbers 4 & 5 are best because you don’t have something to add to an inane diatribe; you just want the talker to stop.
But what if I'm on the phone? None of these will work if the person rambles on the phone! The person I'm trying to deal with always rambles nonstop on the phone. He talks a lot in real life, but it's easier to deal with. I probably do the things in these videos subconsciously, plus other people are usually around too and they probably do that too. How do you deal with this on the phone?
How about when its outside your window. I face a parking space and people are clueless that I can hear EVERYthing they say. I dont want to shout at them from the balcony, but I sure want to some days. So how what can I do?
I had a rock bottom with someone like this ,managed to say I have a serious medical problem ,then she said got to go am running late for David so I said ok dont worry bye she realised she may not have got it right but the next conversation I was not even able to get the name of the body part where I think there is a chance I could have cancer . I n the words of Rhett Butler from now on its going to be "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" if she ever phones me again !
Great now how I tag someone in this, politely
I wish these would work over the phone :(
What if you are having a call with them?
What do you do when it's over the phone and they can't see you. I work in customer service and often get people wont stop talking so that I can get on with my job and help. And employer penalizes us if we are on a call too long. And if I'm rude then we get in trouble for that. I hate customer service.
I'm watching this so that the people i work with don't have to
unfortuneately i don't want to add anything to the conversation, I just want them to stop talking so I can have silence
my boyfriend never stop in all Level ahaha I hate him when do this thing of talking and talking and talking and he done this with everybody 😅
gomitolodilana change yr bf
What if it's over the phone or zoom?
Sometimes I try to insert small comments at the end of their phrase. Some interpret that as interrupting though.
all of those have not worked with the person i am dealing with. what now?
Maiden Clarity Just walk away.
Wouldn't work on a guy I know,...he actually filibusters the conversation, and the term I use is a football term, he runs the clock out on himself, and I just excuse myself without really any productive conversation. He will spend 10 minutes on some irrelevant detail, like how to get to someones house 100 miles away who I do not even know, without ever getting to his original point. He will digress so often, the original topic is never visited, at least in the time frame I have. He also develops physical ticks, if he has to listen to anyone else for even a few seconds. If you open your mouth and start to speak, he actually starts shouting, as he thinks he is losing his turn forever. It's very annoying, and I seem to be the only one who even listens to him, he's been divorced a half dozen times. He either needs mental help or I need more beer.
How to dump a never ending phone call? Start talking and hang up on yourself. He'll think it's his fault, 'cause who hangs up on themselves??
Or just turn and walk away if that's what it takes ! They'll clue in ....
So hard for me cos if you’re a pushy person I have to sit back especially at work.
Well this is great but doesn't work over the phone
Wow, the image in the book covers looks like Ava Addams.
Nice but mid way through the video I realized I want to be rude with some people.
I know there are different levels of value in conversation I believe there is five. But why is it that people interrupt you and do not let you finish what you're saying. Especially somebody close like your wife and they choose to argue and interrupt
How about these
AOT OP5
SHINZOU NOT SASAGEYO
l have walked out on people, but the controller doesn't get it.
Bad news when the narc uses these strategies.
if you have to go to step number three you need to walk away!!!
Why do we have to learn all these tricks...to use against people who are problem people with control issues ....trying to control human beings.
..Because unfortunately most of them are in positions of power where they *can* control human beings, and violence & murder tend to be frowned upon..