Almost half of all pregnancies are unplanned…a lot of those babies are born into really crappy circumstances- narcissistic parents, financial distress, selfish parents who have like 15 kids and the older ones inevitably become caretakers, etc. When a woman plans ahead, she has the benefit of forethought and will probably be better positioned to bring that baby into the world. One of my friends in law school was brought up by a single mother by choice. She grew up to be such a well-rounded, damn near perfect human- super social, top of the class, healthy lifestyle. It’s anecdotal evidence, but it demonstrates how the traditional nuclear family isn’t the only family structure that works.
I can guarantee you she ain’t fishing for comments that hurt her feelies on videos she doesn’t agree with like “P” and “AJ” are. 🐸☕️ Take several seats and re-evaluate your priorities (something I guess you were never taught at home)- y’all have too much time on your hands.
For those of you wondering why it seems like these black women are choosing to have mixed children, it’s because most donors aren’t black or poc. And the small selection of black and poc donors doesn’t necessarily equate to a match… the doctor runs tests to determine which donor is a match after the initial selection by the mother. I know a lot of lgbt couples that face producing children that don’t look like them or their partners.
Thanks for explaining this because I thought the same thing. Not even realizing it is so true a lot of cultures do not believe in donating period. Closed mind, Opened
I'm a black woman so I can have an opinion about this. I've found that many black people although they may have self love find being black in America very difficult. So I think they don't want to give their kids the same experience. Black men in media overwhelming marry interracial as well. It's an unconventional opinion but I think this is what everyone might be thinking
From one single mama to another, congrats! I tried the biological route for eight years before making my dream come true last year through adoption. YAY for the single mamas!
hi wendy! how brave you are to read comments (i wouldn't) i created "fertility for real" to help women learn to get pregnant. i did, over 40 and single. my twins are 6 now. it was a 5 year, 4 country, 3 miscarriage (or more) journey to unite with these two souls. i am writing a memoir with the same hope - to inspire others - to live their purpose. loads of folks won't understand, that's fine, others will be inspired, even saved from great inner turmoil, because they will come to know they can create a life of love following their inner knowing. hugs to you and your little!
I am so glad that the beautiful, successful, black woman did what she wanted to do with her womb. Protect your womb ladies. They are all doing what makes them happy.
I, too, am a Single mom by choice. I delivered my first biological child at 36, this pass October. I've also adopted 3 children from foster care as a single mom. I was an only child and knew I wanted a big family. I decided at a young age that I would not settle for the sake of starting a family.
You are so inspiring, I am a woman in her 30s on the path to becoming a doctor, and I refuse to settle as well. I prefer to have children on my own terms, I have seen too much growing up with my parents' toxic marriage and my past relationships. It has always been my dream to adopt as well. You are incredible, thank you so much for sharing your story!
This is an inspiring story because I know so many women who stay in abusive and toxic relationships just so they can be a mom. I am glad these women didn't compromise their values. Sending all single mothers and daughters love and blessings.
I had my son by myself almost 3 years ago at 38. He was a dubbed a miracle baby by my ob/gyn. I went through years of issues so it was a blessing I was able to have him. Even during the long days and short bights I am absolutely in love He is such a blessing and I have a great support system.
Becoming a single mom through trauma, stress and not by choice is not the same as becoming a single parent by choice. Also male influences can come from many different sources.
@@judeayo1806 That's not true. I believe she was saying the same thing I feel about my own parenting, which is that I personally do much better as a single parent. I am not "good" at romamtic relationships and when I am in them, I cannot find the calm that I need to provide a loving, safe, happy home. I also have so much already taking away from my one-on-one parenting time (full-time job, errands, appointnents, life) that I personally don't want another person who needs me. We have to stop thinking that one way of life is better and understand that one person's way doesn't have to be a comment on anyone else's way. We're all just getting through this world the best we can, and as long as the priority in the home is putting the children first and making sure their needs are fulfilled, the makeup of the family is irrelevant.
I would literally bet money this woman will raise a much healthier, happier, well-rounded child than most in our society, (especially when compared to the broader demographic of Black Americans). No toxins No domestic abuse No divorces No bitter custody battles No “baby daddy” drama 🙅🏾♀️ A woman who is a well-educated, well-compensated, gainfully employed and can provide a nice home in a safe community is something most men cannot even do themselves. Why exactly should women skip out on their dreams when they have THAT MUCH to offer? What is so necessary about a man when you live in these conditions? Most of these guys don’t even have enough to provide and men (generally) are not nearly as involved as mothers are so what does it matter that she’s single? Her child’s needs are still being met. If you have the heart, energy, resources, and lifestyle for it, this choice for parenthood will work out fine. Women started doing this a long time ago and there’s nothing anyone can point to that would support any claim that their kids had poor outcomes.
Well if you’re still going to have to work AND handle domestic duties and child rearing while having a “husband” you might as well eliminate the dead weight.
When I first embarked on this journey in the early 2000's, there were very few Black SMC's and now I read about many. This is one of the best decisions I've made. I'm a mom of two DC tweens.
I love this, we stress so much about finding a husband and sometimes even settle just to have kids "the right way" I'm so glad we have options now. So we can take our time with love.
I am at a loss for words. Again to each their own, but my belief system, my faith tells me to have a family in the confines of marriage. Children tend to do well in 2 parent households. The CBS producer, was career driven, and that's a beautiful thing, but let's be real here most women are not in the position to pay for IVF and raise a child on their own.
I support anyone who has pure intentions and a big heart in their pursuit of having children, regardless if they're a single mom by choice or by chance, a single dad, "traditional couple", gay/lesbian and anything in between. Reading the hateful comments on this video its clear that we arent lacking any spesific family structure but we are lacking humans capable of raising other loving, empathetic, open minded humans.
@@kitkat6444 I dont mean "YOU" as in personally you....but why is this ok???.... and it take both parents to raise children so single mothers dont raise children they maintain children
@@luxe4744 as someone who was raised by a single mother, I would have to disagree😊 she gave me such a loving childhood, a lot more than just maintaining, she's my hero. But you are of course allowed to have your opinion. Sending you love🌸
@@kitkat6444 my point confirmed and notice u didnt say ur mother raise u B/c it takes both parents to raise a child(s) however u acting like single parenting is something to be proud of.... 90% of black women in usa program to accept and repeat single parenting cycles...whitte, asians spanish etc dont pushing single parenting except for the black and think it sometimes rewarding to be a single mothers .... whats rewarding is have both parents....however not having fathers in the home or involved have strong negative impact not only in the home but also on society....
Lol y’all acting as if Having a baby with a man guarantees successful parenting! It’s been known to be stressful, complicated, and end in horrible co parenting!! Times are different! Many women take care of women alone while women n relationships! Allow people to choose their lives!!
I honestly can imagine the same for myself in the future. I would love to have children but cannot see myself married. I think it has a lot to do with how you grow up because for me, although my mom is not a single mother, having her husband/my dad by her side oftentimes felt more like an additional burden than a support system. Sadly, many men are simply unable to be good husbands/partners. It’s the same for most of my friends; they may have a dad but they don’t do any housework and have no connection to their children. It’s sad watching those street interviews where dads are being asked the most basic questions about their kids, e.g. eye color or best friend and they don’t know.. my parents both work and yet my mother does all the housework and childcare herself while my dad watches TV or naps. It always made me feel sad for her and definitely shaped my view of marriage. Unless I find the perfect partner who can actually support me in ways most men don’t do these days, I‘ll happily accept my life as a single mother without having another man-child to take care of.
TRUTH --- added burden. Even w perfect husbands, you are still expected to give more -- pick up his clothes, wash dishes etc. and still be expected to look your best for his sexual pleasures
Then that puts an additional burden on you to teach your sons to cook and other chores around the house. They will grow up one day to hopefully be husbands and fathers. That male influence is SO important for both sons and daughters. I hope you have brothers or a grandfather or close male friends who can step in at times for them. As a grandmother I’ve seen it all: good parents, neglectful ones, single moms, 2 moms. Some do a GREAT JOB and some raise children who grow up to repeat the same patterns.
My husband passed away and we had decided to get pregnant again but chose to wait until our current baby turned one. My husband passed away just 2 days after his first birthday. I am now a single mom unexpectedly and almost a year after his passing have decided that I want to be a single mother by choice and have more children via a donor. I am so very grateful for donors!
I’ve been strongly considering this route as an option for at least about 4 years now. Currently I am in a relationship, but knowing that this is an option if things don’t go as planned, makes me feel lucky to be part of this era.
That sounds so egocentric. Having children is a responsibility, not a right. There are milions of orphans you could adopt. Instead you're choosing to have a baby who is going to be orphan since birth. Do it untill its legal ;) im proud its illegal for both sexes in my country.
@@dleonardo3238 Well, sounding egocentric and actually being egocentric are two very different things. Frankly, I have already considered adoption as another option as well. But of course, like with anything else, there is pros and cons with anything and everything. Just as there are pros and cons to this too. A lot needs to be considered. And shame on you to misjudge over one measly comment I wrote on a UA-cam video, when you don’t know me from a hole in the wall.
This is beautiful! These women creating the life they want on their own. Remember, just because you have a man sharing a bed with you does not mean you’re not a single parent.
over 80 percent of kids in youth correctional systems and juvenile facilities come from single mother households. Anyone who intentionally brings a child into this world as a single parent is a fool! It's appallingly selfish
@@Prince-qr1te no, these kids you are talking about came from broken homes, poor finances, conflicts within the household and deadbeat abusive fathers. This woman has non of these issues, there is no conflict in her home, she’s financially very comfortable and healthy body. Her kids will grow with love and stability
Yessss👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾. I tell my female friends who wants kids to consider doing this all the time. Ideally you want to wait for a husband, but sometimes that never happens. Are you going to miss out on something you truly want because your "true love" never crossed your path? I never wanted children, but if I did, I would totally have chosen this path!!!! Dont know why more woman dont, and end up childless when they don't want to be. P.S - the good thing about this story. Woman who want children won't rush in or stay in toxic relationships just to have children ❤️🤗🥰. Love this awareness on this topic!!!
@@aguy9071 Well my father left when I was a baby, so clearly he wasn't as concerned as you are about his chance to have his contribution to my social education realized. Some fathers die before their kid is born. Fathers are great to have if they are fit for the job and live long enough to do it, but life never followed ideals. Instead of worrying about other people's reproduction journeys, just focus on making sure YOU become the father you want your kids to have.
To all the confused black people in here stop getting angry cause she choose and payed for a white man’s sperm. Not every black woman wants to be just a baby momma and still disrespected. From the constant bashing and saying how much y’all don’t like black women but getting bitter cause a black woman leaves her race and chooses potentially better. It’s not cute nor funny if you step your game up and be respectful and change this so called generational curse that could have been stopped in the 90’s and earlier(no excuses) then she probably wouldn’t have choose that particular sperm. And for the black women who feel offended saying interesting and asking why keep on black male worshiping cause you know for a fact that black women are always the last choice in dating when it come to black men.
This is impactful and empowering! I love to see when women go against societal norms and pave their own way, not compromising on values just to have a man. I travel a lot and I know that American men are not up to par and many are unable or more importantly unwilling to be great life partners so again this is wonderful to see
Great, let's just bring more dysfunction into the next generation. Children who grow up without fathers statically do poorer in life. Yes, there are plenty of exceptions but I go by statistics. If you don't believe me, look it up. Many inmates come from single mothers. You're going to birth and raise children with abandonment issues and so forth.
Men are easy to get. So let's talk about why we want to be single moms. I am as well! My reason is because men cost me too much emotionally. My life has more freedom without them.
This is just beautiful and a wonderful perspective to look at why some women choose to go this route. I have recently been thinking the same. I’m just 30 but I think this is the way for me because I hate conflicts and have always tried to avoid having conflicts with people as much as possible by either just remaining completely silent or just taking my self from around those types of individuals. Recently, I had an encounter with a horrible, horrible, despicable, narcissistic, manipulative and cruel guy and just because of how this person was, it has made me started thinking this way and it was just the other day that I was discussing this with my aunt because if I had a child with that individual, chances are the conflict and hatred would have gotten even worse out of hand. If I don’t find someone before age 35, this is definitely gonna be my back up because I love children.
I'm 32 & going this route because I'm waiting for the 🚹 I ❤️ to get his severe Depression under control with treatment....The 🚪 is open to him whenever he finally recovers & I don't have to wait anymore for kids.
I find it ironic that bm are complaining that the child won't have a father when they are the most notorious for abandoning their kids and not taking care of them. And that is across the board for all races of women they mess with. They don't make good partners and this is coming from a woman who sees the single motherhood rate increase every year because the women are abandoned by the men. Marriage? That doesn't solve it because even husbands abandon their woves when life gets tough. And it's not always the woman who decides on her own to get pregnant. Sometimes the man begs to have a baby only to change his mind in the middle of the pregnancy when it's too late to @bort if the woman is pro choice and living in a country where the option is available. Take heed Becky, Maria and Ling because they only want you now. Notice she picked a white donor? Good choice.
An interesting way to build a family. I had both single parenting and parenting with a spouse. Even though it was HARD to single parent I prefer it. Less fights/ stress over certain things, my everyday decisions where better/easier. If I had a network like these women have or knew about it the time. It may have not been that hard. I don't look down on either way of raising kids, there are benefits and negatives to both.
@@luxe4744 A group of ONE or more...as in one or more parents. So yes, it IS a family. Also a definition of 'family' is ''all the descendants of a common ancestor''.
I never wanted to be a single mom. Everyone is different but I think a child should be brought up by two parents. If it would’ve worked out with my daughter’s father I would’ve married him. If I could do it all over again I would’ve waited to be married before having children or just not have had any at all if I wasn’t married
@Albioyonne Ghede Hello, most single parents struggle. Single motherhood is not glamorous. The CBS producer has more than likely a good salary ans nest egg, but finances are not the only factor in child rearing. Parenting is definitely not a 1 person job. Nick Cannon is financially stable, but there is no way he can be there emotionally and spiritually for the 15 million children he has.
@@paigemarnz725 You are entitled to believe what you want. I respect that, but respect others' beliefs. Marriage us not a dirty word. It is an institution. Now I tell you what there is no romance without finance. That means in this instance it is not romantic notion of single parenthood. There is struggle in the choice. Being in a 2 parent household is hard enough, but toting the road alone is 4 times as hard.
I hope people realise that these single mothers by choice are a part of a village. So their child or children may only have a mom at home but they also have other family members and friends of the mom who are providing support and that is important. My siblings and I went from a nuclear family to a single mom family after our father died. As painful as that was, we had aunts and uncles family friends of our mother male and female who provided guidance so we grew up whole. Why? We were raised by a village not just by our mom. Children need the mother figure and father figure and it doesn't have to be biological all it takes is responsible caring adults who are part of a community who wants to see the next generation flourish. And as for my family we had our faith and the church community played an important role in raising us too. I am so grateful for the childhood I had and I will pray for these families that they too will be blessed.
@@RearviewWisdom The void that was initially left was filled by the father figures in my life. I had "uncles" who let my sis and I know that we are special and any man who does not treat us with respect isn't worthy of us. They taught my brother to be a good man. I'm not saying children don't need fathers but I am saying that a father doesn't always have to be the biological person. I have my biological mom still today and she is my best friend but I have mother figures too who have been and are still there for me. And I still have the relationship with my father figures too. My father died and God blessed my siblings and I with father figures who helped us heal, and continue to grow as individuals that are now the mature adults today. Yes children need fathers but a father doesn't always have to be biological.
There are dark skin donors. There’s usually a book of donors that you can flip through to see pictures or a description of the donors along with their medical history. The women get to choose.
There are. You get to see the race of each donor. White people are probably picked the most by the women so they're probably the majority if statistics show minorities being rarely picked. I saw a similar mini story in China as well and they used a White donor.
@@ItsmeCR-g8j thank you! I never knew. I just turned 38 and already talked to my Obgyn about freezing eggs. Then this video popped up! But I don’t want biracial children, I don’t date outside my race
I just became a Single mother by choice. My daughter is 2 weeks old and yes, she is multi racial. When it came to picking a healthy donate, race was not the most important. I picked a donor with great family history and no genetic disorders.
I happy for Wendy McNeal. You are a smart woman. I like how you went after what you wanted to do without having to settle for the wrong man to achieve it. Women cannot afford losing ourselves toward instability in unpredictable relationships. Kudos to you.
I'm all for women having the choice to do whatever they want with their lives and bodies. She looks happy with her decision and thats all that matters.
@@P.90.603 because she obviously wants to completely raise and child . And feel that bond of carrying your child. Its the best thing in the world amd no other bond like it and nothing wrong with wanting that. And it's harder to adopt and raise them .especially at the age of 14 .
@@P.90.603 ok so the men that donate don't want a child do u wanna force them to be a dad. It would be different if they wanted to be a father but they don't. And if I single man wants to adopt he should be able to also.
@@P.90.603 and the child will be just fine she probably has brothers and friends and if she finds someone good . But no one should have to settle and you can't wait forever for the right person to come along.
The best option for black women. This or marrying out side our race to have a child is the best outcome for black women. Don't have deal with absent black fathers and child support is stressful for black women.
Bible said power of life and death is in the tongue. Black men are amazing parents and black women are amazing parents in Jesus mighty name amen. Im fortunate to know great black men. Amen
@@P.90.603 there aren't enough to choose from. just look at the stats. more are incarcerated than in college. and those who are out are undereducated and underemployed. they start having kids as teenagers. they don't value monogamy. and of the few that are educated and well employed, the most important quality when selecting a wife is how light her skin is. how does the average young professional black woman choose from that pool?
@@P.90.603 to black men, the single most important virtue for a wife is having light skin. for the men, it's a different story. get more education, work harder and your prospects improve.
@@P.90.603 lol thank you for proving my point. your attractive dark-skinned neighbor had to date out of her race because BM prize light skin over everything else.
@@P.90.603 lmao, those white women and other non black women ultimately end up with the same results. Abandoned by the same men and even worse for them because their communities wouldn't forgive them for having children and laying down with bm. The numbers don't lie. Bm don't make good partners. Notice she picked a white donor?
I feel you men.exactly my point I want to have that so called family but I don’t have a man. So I think it’s a wise decisions id rather be a single parent than be single and childless. And no offense I would like to adopt but I would want my own. Adoption is the last option.
yeah because not everyone is lucky to have a husband who will provide yet share diaper change duties and household chores. It is so hard taking care of a baby and w a husband who expects you to look your best, cook him the best and then complain. So hard being a woman -- even with a perfect husband, women are still expected to give more
Ain’t nobody trying to provide (pay all the bills) and have to change diapers & clean. Some of y’all women are very lazy. If a man has to provide and do all the other stuff, then women better be pitching in to pay bills.
@@z7z766 Either you take care of home and nurture like women are suppose to, or you go to work and pay the bills... or you can stay single, and still end up paying the bills. Pick one.
I have mixed feelings about this . I’m HAPPY that women are choosing their own paths.However, women was and STILL is looked down upon for being a single mother/ single and not married. A lot of women didn’t pay for sperm to have their children but they chose to raise them often times without a father. Are we now going to start respecting ALL of the women that came before these woman that chose to raise their children? All I’m saying is we as a people need to pick a side. I Champion woman’s rights and whatever decisions they choose their bodies their choice. Our bodies our choice 😊
@@taelove9830 yeah, I agree and I can tell you that I am a single mother and no one was giving me a standing ovation for raising my son 🤷🏽♀️. Yes, I was married before and yes, my son’s father is in his life.
Knowing these ladies, they probably did this while having stable incomes. Single mothers with low incomes who can't afford to take care of their children and are really young tend to be looked down on. When the mother is older, mature and is secure with her bank, I don't see them get bad treatment.
@@Ada-zg2qb that’s a stigma that the media has portrayed “single” women to be. Not all single women are low income mothers. It doesn’t matter how old they are I personally know women in their mid 20’s early 30’s that make 6-7 figures. I also know women in their 40’s and 50’s that are low income broke women. I wish people STOP pushing their own insecurities off on other people. Not all young mothers are doing bad in life and not all older women are doing well in life. If a woman chooses to become a mother at whatever age she chooses and she can afford to take care of her children then it’s no one’s business. By the way let’s pat ALL real mothers on their backs for bringing life into this world and being responsible.
I see it as the opposite. A lot of people are angry about this but aren’t having the same kind of energy for women living in poverty that get knocked up by drug dealers, having an unplanned pregnancy and becoming a single mom that way. I totally agree though, the stigma should be removed and single moms deserve the upmost respect. Single dads too
I’m 34 and will do this in 3 years. In this day and age, I rather do it myself over being lied to and cheated on nonstop. Most women end up raising kids on their own anyway. So why not do it by yourself and never worry about baby daddy drama.
I have tears on my cheek, watching this. I know Doctor, in fact I babysat her when we where neigbours. She is a wonderful Mom and has raised to beautiful sons.
Fathers are so important. Of course, not all women find a man who they want to have a family with or the ones they find don't want to or would suck as a dad. In society, too many times, fathers do terrible things to their children. I still say that a good father can make a huge difference in a child's life. If the father isn't in the child's life, having a strong male influence can help shape the child's view of the men in the world as a positive influence. My father was a horrible, abusive, raging alcoholic. I'm grateful that I had a grandfather who was wise, kind, intelligent. He loved my grandmother fiercely, he also loved me the same way. He died more than a decade ago. His influence lives on.
@She Knows Not having a child isn't a regret! I've NEVER heard of a single person (*man or woman*) "regretful" for NOT having a kid(s)! Plus, having a kid(s) for the SOLE SIMPLE PURPOSE of NOT regretting it later ISN'T a reason or justification to have a child! That's NOT fair to the kid(s). That child NEVER asked nor chose to be here in the first place! If this were a case of "regret", why not adopt?!?!???? Why does the kid(s) have to be biological???
I do think you're better off if you can prepare yourself to raise a child on your own. 'Cause in my situation i was dating someone and i got pregnant so i told him that i was pregnant and blocked my phonenumber. That was so painful. I don't ever want to experience that ever again. I want more kids and i will do it like this from now on.
Very interesting story considering that just this morning out of the blue, i became immensely grateful that i got pregnant with my daughter 30 yrs ago as a teen single mom. It was challenging but having my child changed the trajectory of my life in insurmountable ways. She is the reason that i did a 180 degree turn around with all aspects of my now thriving life. Children have a special way of making you a better version of yourself when you take your role of motherhood seriously. Never found the right guy but unlike many of my single friends who don’t have children, i felt blessed to at least have one child who has birthed two adorable grandchildren that I adore immensely for they are a continuation of my legacy and i get to do for them what I wish I could’ve done for my child. Yes if i had to choose between being a mom and finding the love of my life, i’d definitely choose being a mom hands down without any hesitation or doubt. Women are living in a great time where they can plan their pregnancy with or without factoring in the perfect mate to help them to procreate. Of course the idea situation is to find the right guy to build a family with, but the way the dating world works these days, my God ladies please dont hold your breath and/or get caught up in struggle love or a toxic relationship just to have a child. That’s way more trouble than its worth. This was a real smart move on this lady’s part to take her fertility in her own hands instead of waiting on that proverbial “good man” who may or may not come along. Big up to women controlling their fertility destiny instead of leaving in the hands of meeting that illusive “perfect man”
@@yessalady5003 YES EXACTLY! Although i was a kid when i had my child, I became serious, mature and on purpose about my life. Though I contemplated abortion since i was so young and all, Im very glad that I didn’t because my child gave me meaning and purpose beyond measures and all that I’ve accomplished in my fruitful life was because of that human being that blessed my life.
Weird enough, at a young age (perhaps between 10-13) I kind of knew I would go this route. Fast forward to being 28,never really been in a relationship, I think I this might just be what’s in store for me by the time I’m 35.
@@tom4412 nope. This is better than deal with a man that most likely won’t be a good dad. I had to deal with a father that was so misiogynist with my mom, no thanks. That life isn’t the life I want.
@@malverysuh7786 I didn’t mean a man to be a father figure. Just a donor. You don’t ever have to see him again. Unless you wanted another child with him. It would be advisable to maintain some sort of contact just incase of health issues that might occur in the future. There are lots of guys out there that will do that. They must have up to date Sti test results though.
SOME OF THE PEOPLE IN THE COMMENT SECTION IS MISSING THE CONCEPT BEHIND HAVING CHILDREN'S THIS WAY. ITS NOT A HAVING MIX KIDS ITS ABOUT TIMING, SITUATIONS, AGING , OR JUST WANTING MORE KIDS.
And if that was her choice to have a mix baby, what’s the problem? DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, people will always have some bs to say. That baby is so cute! God bless! All y’all negative people 🧿🪬 weirdos.
It goes the other way too with these negative weirdos.... I'm doing this but I'm white & the donor just happens to be black, I choose him because of his intelligent extended family with high achieving careers & warm empathetic sounding personalities...The ethnicity was just a side detail, the actual PERSON was my focus.Let's hope all the rednecks & negative jerks don't come out of the woodworks with torches & pitchforks after me🙄.
I thought I was the only one. 😂 if I wasn’t married by x then I was having a child. Baby there is power in the tongue because boop I was pregnant at that age and I wouldn’t trade it for the world! I am woman and this woman wanted to be a mother. 🥰
@@z7z766 keep your kids out the street and stop letting your baby daddy eat all your kids snacks. You know you dont get enough food stamps to feed him.
@@z7z766 youre a maury povich broad. You Got the whole starting lineup of the utah jazz getting paternity tested & dont know who the father is lol could be the point guard could be the janitor. You gave the mascot a scarlett johandy for a tshirt.
I understand. You have two options, Are you willing to wait for the perfect man? Or will you just start your life on your own since you can make the same income as him and it's now possible to marry others while having children?
That's really sweet, and I'm glad more women are becoming as stable as they are with all the child-rearing support they need, especially because they are truly prioritizing their offspring over a mate, like nature is supposed to. Community parent networking is a great idea.
@@aguy9071 Most men in these "modern" days don't even want to get married. All these narcissists want to do is lay up with a bunch of different women and waste our time! Nobody has time to waste waiting on prince charming to fall from the sky, we want children...Also, not every woman is looking for a 6 figure, 9 ft tall man...
As a Believer in Christ, my thoughts are that fulfilling your life assignment for the Kingdom is whats most important. If God is leading you to take this route then that's all that matters. It's definitely something worth praying about for sure. Praying protection, provision and love for mommy and baby ❤️
I agree as a Christian woman i want a child but not a husband. Therefore i believe adoption is the only biblically ethical route fo me to take. Therefore i am not taking away from a child's chances of having a dad (i love my dad) but i am only a blessing filling a role in a childs life that wouldn't otherwise exist (necessarily)
As a Christian how can God lead a single woman to have a baby alone? This dont line up with the word of God. Although God will bless/ provide for single mothers. That was not God's original plan for women. The word of God says: be fruitful & multiple in a marriage, Not as a single woman. In my opinion, its selfish to purposely plan kids in single parents homes. Society make adult "self" decisions without acknowledging what's best /right for kids.) Kids need mother & father two parent homes.
@@jeweldavis2350 I understand that it will never be the most ideal for any child to only have one parent. However, in cases such as adoption i believe God has no problem with it. But the bible says what is not of faith is a sin. so all according to your convictions i suppose.
@@deesott5123 there have been circumstances where family members had to raise/ take care of their family member kids whom: deceased, on drugs That i understand because that's a circumstance. But to purposely/ plan go get pregnant as single woman with no father present. i dont agree i think its selfish. Fathers in a home are important/ vital to kids. So many men in Prison spoke on the absence of no father in their homes. Not to mention singlemothers whom struggling not just financially. Emotionally as well.
Unpopular opinion: men are still relevant and fathers are absolutely necessary in the lives of children. Mothers can provide SO much to their children, but they can NEVER be fathers. There is a natural order that should be respected and this is not the way at all. That being said, I wish this mom and all other single mothers and their children well. 💗
yeah. but not all women will be able to marry while they are still fertile and time is an essential factor to women reproduction. a father figure can be the mother brother or future spouse too.
I'll edit... GOOD MEN, are still relevant and fathers are absolutely necessary in the lives of children. The real issue is women are not finding compatible men who want to be fathers within their biological time frame... with that strong desire to for-fill your womanhood and become a mother, what else do women in their late 30s do???. I think most women would LOVE to have a supportive and healthy man in the house. But where are the ones who really want it?? Compatibility may have been an issue for Wendy, but I believe if she found a man she liked.. he'd be the father of that beautiful baby
@@P.90.603 Did you watch the program? Seems like the kids are well adjusted. And it's not just women who go solo. Men do too. Some ppl are just conflict-averse. You need to be ok with the decisions ppl make for themselves.
@@saraho9568 thank you. This people are so triggered but why are they not taking care of people that have been left by the same fathers they’re talking about? She’s doing it by choice, hardly going to be like mothers left to do it on their own
Reproducing is the only reason we're all here. Marriage is a social construct created by man. As a woman your body tells you every month for a set number of years that you are here to reproduce, regardless of what society says. Marriage is a worthy ideal, but not being married should not be a barrier to fulfiling what your body is designed to do.
I wish mom and baby a happy life. I think it’s wonderful that we live in a society where we can make a variety of choices. What concerns me is that the babies going to grow up and will be curious about the father. Perhaps the child might want to connect with their donor one day. What if that happened? I firmly believe that everyone has the right to pursue happiness in whatever way to keep it. I also totally understand why many women wouldn’t want to wait for a man to start their family or prefer to be single but still want to be parents. I’m a single woman and I definitely want children one day. I don’t have an ideal number of children but I know I want them. However, I want my kids to have a mom and a dad. The influence of a father is as important to children as the importance of a mother. I think the children should be treated as blessings and not commodities. I personally don’t feel like I have a right to have children but they are supposed to be gifts from God or the universe, and should be treated as such. Congrats to the mom in this video. I wish you a happy life and great success with raising your baby.
People alway talk about ‘ I want, I want’ what about what God wants. Children should know their fathers, now woman cannot make a man love and support and stay in their children lives, but that is on the man , he will have to answer to God, but we are to go Gods way and if it’s not his way, it was never for us.
I used to think just like how you think, so I understand. Right now I'm 37 yrs old and the dating has been complicated for me. Alot of Men I have met have no desire for marriage or children. I can always get married, but I don't want to miss my chance to become a Mother.
@Sonja Anderson I never knew my father it was always just my mother and I growing up and I'm 14 now and still don't know him, my mother has always told me that my Father wasn't a goof man and he isn't needed in my life and it never bothered me so..and life's been great!
What a sweet story. And I’m glad they have a community. I’m glad they talked about how important that is. Whether you are two parents or a single parent raising a child(ren) you cannot neglect the fact that you need support. Parenting was never meant to be done alone. And I’m glad people who really want children are finding ways to have them. ❤❤
Even if its an upper middle class single parent home statistically those children will still do worse than children in 2 parent homes at the same socioeconomic level
@@biscaynesupercars, your...stats... I take it don't include children in cemeteries murdered by the males who created them, and these women allowing their boyfriends in the homes, eating her children's food after killing them.
@@wsmcneal15 you find away when things unexpectedly happen and you have to adjust to new circumstances like a divorce or an unforeseen injury or death of a spouse. But knowingly, willingly and voluntarily putting yourself into that position isn’t finding away. You’re actually finding away to put yourself in a bad position no figure out how to make the best of a bad position that you were put into
Awesome! I rather be a single mom than to be in a unhealthy relationship. At that point you're taking care of two children. :P Also, Baby Harlow is going to grow up knowing her mom wanted her so much and not an oopsy baby.
I am 25 and thinking of having a child through a sperm donor and a surrogate. Now I am building a very heavy strong financial stability for my selfmade family. I have decided to take matters into my own hands because I am afraid of being in a wrong relationship just for the sake of having a child. And again I also have this fear of dying while giving birth, I would be a ghost knowing I left my child in this world without me to love, guide and protect them.
A few years ago there was a guy who asked me to choose between getting too much money with no marriage and little money with marriage, I answered him money is better than marriage 💍 😂 even though I had the problem of how should I get a baby 👶, but after finding out about IUI and IVF, I just confirmed 100% that I want too much money 💵 than a 💍 ❤️❤️💕💕 because since I was born I never saw anything good about men in terms of love, relationships or 💍 so I'm always afraid that I will end up the same 😢 so I want to become SMC ❤️
I will say it's a difficult road ahead. There will be moments like my children have where children tell them they are adopted because they only see me never their fathers. Especially with girls they will have a need to know why their dad isn't around. It's 24/7 no breaks except for every now and again. She is blessed to have a support system in the real world many single moms like myself don't. Be blessed.
@@malverysuh7786 how would you know if her child wouldn't miss their father? Do you know how many school activities involve dads? When it's time for a father daughter dance you think she won't ask. The first time a boy breaks her heart you think she won't wonder about her own father. Y'all are so weird individuals if you think a child will never long for their father.
@@Ronnie2389 because I’m from a family in which They never missed their father. Not even one bit. So like I know what I’m talking about. Fathers aren’t that big of a deal. There is a reason why women couldn’t have jobs before so then fathers were important to stick around
There’s a lot going on with the story we as black women have been put down by black men for so long especially when it comes out hair it doesn’t surprise me the path she took
And the solution is produce half-white children that won't identify as black while also making a statement to black men that you consider them disposable and irrelevant? This type of thing is a wet dream for white supremacists. A minority group intentionally wiping themselves out. There has to be a better way than this.
My goal is to redeem the image of the nuclear family… I use to say I wanted to be a single mom by choice but when I weighed out the possible pros and cons I prayed against that desire and God definitely blessed it! I decided to be patient long enough to be found by my soul-mate. Got to know and workout problems etc with self & husband and then brought a child into the world. I’m happy that now my child is able to get the best representation of the feminine(female) & masculine(male) interaction, & God-designed foundation. And as difficult as motherhood can be I’m soooo happy I didn’t decide to do it alone cuz chilllllddd ooohhh weeee… I don’t want to be the strong-single-black woman anymore ✌🏿 I surely hope that the baby gets to connect with her father in the future 💛
That's good for your decision, but everybody life is different. Everyone isn't going to end up meeting the Love of our life. Alot of Men today is complicated
figure out what it is that men are doing to drive women away. fix those issues and we will have fewer women saying they want to be SMBC. otherwise, heterosexual marriages will remain in trouble.
Very possible the donor was listed as black but are ( biracial or Latino)! Mom may have mixed parent(s). Genetics is surprising! Can't assume just because baby has brighter features.
This is amazing!!! I have been thinking about this for the longest time and I always felt ashamed of doing so now that I see it's possible, sign my name on the SMC cz in coming baby!!!
As a person who got no assistance from my insurance company, this is amazing. I wish all Companies would offer at least basic screening so families could no their options as early as possible
in the black community where the men’s preference is biracial women, so if anything, you may need to be happy because it be more biracial women for you to choose from. At least most black women’s reason for choosing a non-black sperm donor is not because of self hatred….
It’s so sad to see the lack of ability to function in a marriage between a man and a woman. I hope traditional lives come back in style because I can’t imagine raising a family by myself in this world.
@A J the desires of the lone parent by choice in the video does not represent every other woman that chooses the path. vulgarity doesn’t make you more intelligent, try again.
Almost half of all pregnancies are unplanned…a lot of those babies are born into really crappy circumstances- narcissistic parents, financial distress, selfish parents who have like 15 kids and the older ones inevitably become caretakers, etc.
When a woman plans ahead, she has the benefit of forethought and will probably be better positioned to bring that baby into the world.
One of my friends in law school was brought up by a single mother by choice. She grew up to be such a well-rounded, damn near perfect human- super social, top of the class, healthy lifestyle. It’s anecdotal evidence, but it demonstrates how the traditional nuclear family isn’t the only family structure that works.
Self serving, deep-seated void filling. Mental illness. Nothing more
Thank you for this insight, from a single mom!
Right
I think you actually turn out better if you don’t know who your father is cuz fathers are all narcissistic and cause trauma in the children
I can guarantee you she ain’t fishing for comments that hurt her feelies on videos she doesn’t agree with like “P” and “AJ” are. 🐸☕️ Take several seats and re-evaluate your priorities (something I guess you were never taught at home)- y’all have too much time on your hands.
For those of you wondering why it seems like these black women are choosing to have mixed children, it’s because most donors aren’t black or poc. And the small selection of black and poc donors doesn’t necessarily equate to a match… the doctor runs tests to determine which donor is a match after the initial selection by the mother. I know a lot of lgbt couples that face producing children that don’t look like them or their partners.
Thanks for explaining this because I thought the same thing. Not even realizing it is so true a lot of cultures do not believe in donating period. Closed mind, Opened
Humm I think they just want mixed babies which is fine by the way, that is what they want🤷🏽♀️.
Its also by choice... Dont be fooled
@@atthismoment3006 its not
I'm a black woman so I can have an opinion about this. I've found that many black people although they may have self love find being black in America very difficult. So I think they don't want to give their kids the same experience. Black men in media overwhelming marry interracial as well. It's an unconventional opinion but I think this is what everyone might be thinking
Happy to share my story. I hope it inspires people to follow their true bliss even if it happens to be on a path less traveled.
From one single mama to another, congrats! I tried the biological route for eight years before making my dream come true last year through adoption. YAY for the single mamas!
I keep seeing "selfish" in response and it stuns me because being a single mom is the most unselfish role a woman can take on. Strong, mama!
Congrats on squeezing that burden on society out. I'm sure you ef trophie will grow up to make a huge difference.
Thank you so much for sharing. She’s beautiful!
hi wendy! how brave you are to read comments (i wouldn't) i created "fertility for real" to help women learn to get pregnant. i did, over 40 and single. my twins are 6 now. it was a 5 year, 4 country, 3 miscarriage (or more) journey to unite with these two souls. i am writing a memoir with the same hope - to inspire others - to live their purpose. loads of folks won't understand, that's fine, others will be inspired, even saved from great inner turmoil, because they will come to know they can create a life of love following their inner knowing. hugs to you and your little!
I am so glad that the beautiful, successful, black woman did what she wanted to do with her womb. Protect your womb ladies. They are all doing what makes them happy.
Exactly…No man could exploit her and hold marriage over her head. She did it her own way
Hmmn... That's not healthy. Then they get angry and miserable. A man is important.
@@belle3055 Men bring stress and single life is more peaceful. Unless he’s a Russell Wilson then I can understand
This is the future. Believe it or not.
@@minachoo-ho1362 For black women yeah.
I, too, am a Single mom by choice. I delivered my first biological child at 36, this pass October. I've also adopted 3 children from foster care as a single mom. I was an only child and knew I wanted a big family. I decided at a young age that I would not settle for the sake of starting a family.
@@mussu4859 did you know your 'father'?
You are so inspiring, I am a woman in her 30s on the path to becoming a doctor, and I refuse to settle as well. I prefer to have children on my own terms, I have seen too much growing up with my parents' toxic marriage and my past relationships. It has always been my dream to adopt as well. You are incredible, thank you so much for sharing your story!
God bless you and your family.
@@georginab7009 Right? some people are so delusion to believe that all two parent households are created equally.
@@AnnA-jd4xm I agree!! They are definitely NOT all created equally!
This is an inspiring story because I know so many women who stay in abusive and toxic relationships just so they can be a mom. I am glad these women didn't compromise their values. Sending all single mothers and daughters love and blessings.
America dont value fathers and they did compromise their value.... a children identity comes from the fathers not the mothers
Church and African culture view single mothers differently. I'm a widow and i live in my world,our society is not accomodating .
@@justinamusyoka4986 one seek the things of flesh to pleases sellf another seek spiritual things of the spirit to pleases christ
@@allisonabraham5102 single parenting is a strategy by our global leaders.... Im glad u didnt put urself and if u had a chilld in their pot of brew
Preach!!
I had my son by myself almost 3 years ago at 38. He was a dubbed a miracle baby by my ob/gyn. I went through years of issues so it was a blessing I was able to have him. Even during the long days and short bights I am absolutely in love He is such a blessing and I have a great support system.
❤️❤️❤️
Have you faced any challenges as a single mom by choice? Like people treating you some sort of way for doing it on your own without a father??
Have you faced any challenges for doing it on your own without a father? Like people treating you negatively? Criticizing or looking down at you ?
@@janjoy9759 Notice she left all that out. She refused to mention the father and she's probably single for a reason.
@@ghostdetective311at?? She just didn't respond that's it why are you trying to make roomers beside she has 1 year forom this comment
Becoming a single mom through trauma, stress and not by choice is not the same as becoming a single parent by choice. Also male influences can come from many different sources.
I can't imagine my life with no trace of a father
@@Mypresident1986 plenty of people survive, in fact its better when their fathers arent around
@@automatic5 you must be somehow unique!!!!
How is it better growing without a father ?
Most of the time its by choice. The rate that BM abandon their children and demand abortions should make that clear.
@@ashe4158 what is BM ?
I personally love parenting as a single parent. I am more present. I have a calm, peaceful home.
this suggests a 2 parent family is not calm or peaceful.
@@judeayo1806 That's not true. I believe she was saying the same thing I feel about my own parenting, which is that I personally do much better as a single parent. I am not "good" at romamtic relationships and when I am in them, I cannot find the calm that I need to provide a loving, safe, happy home. I also have so much already taking away from my one-on-one parenting time (full-time job, errands, appointnents, life) that I personally don't want another person who needs me.
We have to stop thinking that one way of life is better and understand that one person's way doesn't have to be a comment on anyone else's way. We're all just getting through this world the best we can, and as long as the priority in the home is putting the children first and making sure their needs are fulfilled, the makeup of the family is irrelevant.
@@phillisob Wonder if your kind agrees
@@judeayo1806 Mine certainly wasn't.
@@judeayo1806 that's because many of them aren't. lots of dysfunction and instability in 2-parent families.
I would literally bet money this woman will raise a much healthier, happier, well-rounded child than most in our society, (especially when compared to the broader demographic of Black Americans).
No toxins
No domestic abuse
No divorces
No bitter custody battles
No “baby daddy” drama 🙅🏾♀️
A woman who is a well-educated, well-compensated, gainfully employed and can provide a nice home in a safe community is something most men cannot even do themselves. Why exactly should women skip out on their dreams when they have THAT MUCH to offer? What is so necessary about a man when you live in these conditions? Most of these guys don’t even have enough to provide and men (generally) are not nearly as involved as mothers are so what does it matter that she’s single? Her child’s needs are still being met.
If you have the heart, energy, resources, and lifestyle for it, this choice for parenthood will work out fine. Women started doing this a long time ago and there’s nothing anyone can point to that would support any claim that their kids had poor outcomes.
You're insane
@@ksager123you think broke, young couples are going to do a better job??? LOL
@@MsFlamingFlamer yep, slowpoke
@@MsFlamingFlamer you silly black women think everything is about money
@@ksager123 see your mom raised you to be trash. Figures
Well if you’re still going to have to work AND handle domestic duties and child rearing while having a “husband” you might as well eliminate the dead weight.
I have waited for this comment all my life! Thanks girl.
Thank you 😂
THIS!!! 🙌
Do you think boys have a future in the family? "Dead weight"? That's a hell of thing to say about boys and their future.
Shut up
When I first embarked on this journey in the early 2000's, there were very few Black SMC's and now I read about many. This is one of the best decisions I've made. I'm a mom of two DC tweens.
I think that many BW are SMBC but isles obvious if you procreate the typical way with someone who is not a long term prospect.
Why not men leave the women to raise babies by themselves anyway
Facts
Mothers are the primary cargivers in (traditional standards) of a relationship anyways
U mean leave black women lol yall the problem
It’s true! I will not say all, but I have seen many. 🤷🏾♀️
No...the men you pick leave you ...but it's always men's fault
I love this, we stress so much about finding a husband and sometimes even settle just to have kids "the right way" I'm so glad we have options now. So we can take our time with love.
Its call selfish.... if women are so proud of being a single mother than child support is fraud and disguised to strip wealth
I am at a loss for words. Again to each their own, but my belief system, my faith tells me to have a family in the confines of marriage. Children tend to do well in 2 parent households. The CBS producer, was career driven, and that's a beautiful thing, but let's be real here most women are not in the position to pay for IVF and raise a child on their own.
@@joshwells4189 i agree
@@fiorela6194 great point
@@joshwells4189 like you said to each their own.
I support anyone who has pure intentions and a big heart in their pursuit of having children, regardless if they're a single mom by choice or by chance, a single dad, "traditional couple", gay/lesbian and anything in between. Reading the hateful comments on this video its clear that we arent lacking any spesific family structure but we are lacking humans capable of raising other loving, empathetic, open minded humans.
If u feel like that why complain about fathers if its ok to be a single mother
@@luxe4744 i havent complained about fathers? 😊 Not sure where you're getting that from.
@@kitkat6444 I dont mean "YOU" as in personally you....but why is this ok???.... and it take both parents to raise children so single mothers dont raise children they maintain children
@@luxe4744 as someone who was raised by a single mother, I would have to disagree😊 she gave me such a loving childhood, a lot more than just maintaining, she's my hero. But you are of course allowed to have your opinion. Sending you love🌸
@@kitkat6444 my point confirmed and notice u didnt say ur mother raise u B/c it takes both parents to raise a child(s) however u acting like single parenting is something to be proud of.... 90% of black women in usa program to accept and repeat single parenting cycles...whitte, asians spanish etc dont pushing single parenting except for the black and think it sometimes rewarding to be a single mothers .... whats rewarding is have both parents....however not having fathers in the home or involved have strong negative impact not only in the home but also on society....
Lol y’all acting as if Having a baby with a man guarantees successful parenting! It’s been known to be stressful, complicated, and end in horrible co parenting!! Times are different! Many women take care of women alone while women n relationships! Allow people to choose their lives!!
Your missing the point idiot, some kids never know their parents / dad a basic human right not to mention if they are healthy
I honestly can imagine the same for myself in the future. I would love to have children but cannot see myself married. I think it has a lot to do with how you grow up because for me, although my mom is not a single mother, having her husband/my dad by her side oftentimes felt more like an additional burden than a support system. Sadly, many men are simply unable to be good husbands/partners. It’s the same for most of my friends; they may have a dad but they don’t do any housework and have no connection to their children. It’s sad watching those street interviews where dads are being asked the most basic questions about their kids, e.g. eye color or best friend and they don’t know.. my parents both work and yet my mother does all the housework and childcare herself while my dad watches TV or naps. It always made me feel sad for her and definitely shaped my view of marriage. Unless I find the perfect partner who can actually support me in ways most men don’t do these days, I‘ll happily accept my life as a single mother without having another man-child to take care of.
Exactly
TRUTH --- added burden. Even w perfect husbands, you are still expected to give more -- pick up his clothes, wash dishes etc. and still be expected to look your best for his sexual pleasures
Yes exactly!
💯 on point!!!
Then that puts an additional burden on you to teach your sons to cook and other chores around the house. They will grow up one day to hopefully be husbands and fathers. That male influence is SO important for both sons and daughters. I hope you have brothers or a grandfather or close male friends who can step in at times for them. As a grandmother I’ve seen it all: good parents, neglectful ones, single moms, 2 moms. Some do a GREAT JOB and some raise children who grow up to repeat the same patterns.
My husband passed away and we had decided to get pregnant again but chose to wait until our current baby turned one. My husband passed away just 2 days after his first birthday. I am now a single mom unexpectedly and almost a year after his passing have decided that I want to be a single mother by choice and have more children via a donor. I am so very grateful for donors!
I’ve been strongly considering this route as an option for at least about 4 years now. Currently I am in a relationship, but knowing that this is an option if things don’t go as planned, makes me feel lucky to be part of this era.
That sounds so egocentric. Having children is a responsibility, not a right. There are milions of orphans you could adopt. Instead you're choosing to have a baby who is going to be orphan since birth. Do it untill its legal ;) im proud its illegal for both sexes in my country.
@@dleonardo3238 Well, sounding egocentric and actually being egocentric are two very different things. Frankly, I have already considered adoption as another option as well. But of course, like with anything else, there is pros and cons with anything and everything. Just as there are pros and cons to this too. A lot needs to be considered. And shame on you to misjudge over one measly comment I wrote on a UA-cam video, when you don’t know me from a hole in the wall.
@@dleonardo3238Womp, Womp. Her body, her choice. If she wants a child, and can handle the responsibility? more power to her.
This is beautiful! These women creating the life they want on their own. Remember, just because you have a man sharing a bed with you does not mean you’re not a single parent.
over 80 percent of kids in youth correctional systems and juvenile facilities come from single mother households. Anyone who intentionally brings a child into this world as a single parent is a fool! It's appallingly selfish
@@Prince-qr1te no, these kids you are talking about came from broken homes, poor finances, conflicts within the household and deadbeat abusive fathers. This woman has non of these issues, there is no conflict in her home, she’s financially very comfortable and healthy body. Her kids will grow with love and stability
🤡
@@z7z766 Do you think boys have a future in the family? "Dead weight"? That's a hell of thing to say about boys and their future.
Yessss👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾. I tell my female friends who wants kids to consider doing this all the time. Ideally you want to wait for a husband, but sometimes that never happens. Are you going to miss out on something you truly want because your "true love" never crossed your path?
I never wanted children, but if I did, I would totally have chosen this path!!!! Dont know why more woman dont, and end up childless when they don't want to be.
P.S - the good thing about this story. Woman who want children won't rush in or stay in toxic relationships just to have children ❤️🤗🥰. Love this awareness on this topic!!!
Selfish. Who will teach their son to be men? Who will show their daughters how men should treat them?
So selfish
I agree, she did the right decision
@@aguy9071 Well my father left when I was a baby, so clearly he wasn't as concerned as you are about his chance to have his contribution to my social education realized. Some fathers die before their kid is born. Fathers are great to have if they are fit for the job and live long enough to do it, but life never followed ideals. Instead of worrying about other people's reproduction journeys, just focus on making sure YOU become the father you want your kids to have.
@@aguy9071 most of tge fathers never there anyway.
@@weavemademeadeadbeatdad2888 some are there just to have boxing bags out of their wife and children.
To all the confused black people in here stop getting angry cause she choose and payed for a white man’s sperm. Not every black woman wants to be just a baby momma and still disrespected. From the constant bashing and saying how much y’all don’t like black women but getting bitter cause a black woman leaves her race and chooses potentially better. It’s not cute nor funny if you step your game up and be respectful and change this so called generational curse that could have been stopped in the 90’s and earlier(no excuses) then she probably wouldn’t have choose that particular sperm.
And for the black women who feel offended saying interesting and asking why keep on black male worshiping cause you know for a fact that black women are always the last choice in dating when it come to black men.
Yes to everything you wrote 🙌🏾
well, the one positive is that her baby will have an easier chance than she did to find a partner.
So true, Also, this world is so crap, I'd only want to have a white baby that they'd be treated better
Spern donors typically aren't black men. You need therapy hun u sound wounded
Maybe he was what she was looking for. Not all about race
Shout out to all the decent single mothers out there 👏🏽
This is impactful and empowering! I love to see when women go against societal norms and pave their own way, not compromising on values just to have a man. I travel a lot and I know that American men are not up to par and many are unable or more importantly unwilling to be great life partners so again this is wonderful to see
That's a lie!
🙌🏽💕
Exactly!
Great, let's just bring more dysfunction into the next generation. Children who grow up without fathers statically do poorer in life. Yes, there are plenty of exceptions but I go by statistics. If you don't believe me, look it up. Many inmates come from single mothers. You're going to birth and raise children with abandonment issues and so forth.
...sounds selfish
I’m a SMC and it’s a blessing. You are in charge of your life! You only get one so don’t let others tell you how it should be!
Can you tell me the process to go through
Men are easy to get. So let's talk about why we want to be single moms. I am as well! My reason is because men cost me too much emotionally. My life has more freedom without them.
This is just beautiful and a wonderful perspective to look at why some women choose to go this route. I have recently been thinking the same. I’m just 30 but I think this is the way for me because I hate conflicts and have always tried to avoid having conflicts with people as much as possible by either just remaining completely silent or just taking my self from around those types of individuals. Recently, I had an encounter with a horrible, horrible, despicable, narcissistic, manipulative and cruel guy and just because of how this person was, it has made me started thinking this way and it was just the other day that I was discussing this with my aunt because if I had a child with that individual, chances are the conflict and hatred would have gotten even worse out of hand. If I don’t find someone before age 35, this is definitely gonna be my back up because I love children.
Muy bien, una opción respetable. Pero, recuerda, hijo es ADN, no compra de óvulos.
I'm 32 & going this route because I'm waiting for the 🚹 I ❤️ to get his severe Depression under control with treatment....The 🚪 is open to him whenever he finally recovers & I don't have to wait anymore for kids.
I find it ironic that bm are complaining that the child won't have a father when they are the most notorious for abandoning their kids and not taking care of them. And that is across the board for all races of women they mess with. They don't make good partners and this is coming from a woman who sees the single motherhood rate increase every year because the women are abandoned by the men. Marriage? That doesn't solve it because even husbands abandon their woves when life gets tough. And it's not always the woman who decides on her own to get pregnant. Sometimes the man begs to have a baby only to change his mind in the middle of the pregnancy when it's too late to @bort if the woman is pro choice and living in a country where the option is available. Take heed Becky, Maria and Ling because they only want you now. Notice she picked a white donor? Good choice.
They just want to feel needed so they can exploit women
Bitter and ignorant.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@@pm9314 you are projecting buddy
I'm so happy you posted this comment. I think she's hella smart for picking a white donor
An interesting way to build a family. I had both single parenting and parenting with a spouse. Even though it was HARD to single parent I prefer it. Less fights/ stress over certain things, my everyday decisions where better/easier. If I had a network like these women have or knew about it the time. It may have not been that hard. I don't look down on either way of raising kids, there are benefits and negatives to both.
Same I am a single mom of adopted children and I thank the Lord everyday that I am doing it alone.
😂😂😂 what a loser
Thats not a family..... a group of one or more parents and their children living together as a unit.
@@luxe4744 A group of ONE or more...as in one or more parents. So yes, it IS a family. Also a definition of 'family' is ''all the descendants of a common ancestor''.
@@AnnA-jd4xm a family consists of father and mother .in the household.... without the two is called single parenting household or home
I never wanted to be a single mom. Everyone is different but I think a child should be brought up by two parents. If it would’ve worked out with my daughter’s father I would’ve married him. If I could do it all over again I would’ve waited to be married before having children or just not have had any at all if I wasn’t married
Your the only smart one here it’s hard being a single parent
If you could do it again you wouldn’t have your child?? That’s not a nice thing to say. Why do people value marriage over their own kids??
@Albioyonne Ghede Hello, most single parents struggle. Single motherhood is not glamorous. The CBS producer has more than likely a good salary ans nest egg, but finances are not the only factor in child rearing. Parenting is definitely not a 1 person job. Nick Cannon is financially stable, but there is no way he can be there emotionally and spiritually for the 15 million children he has.
@@paigemarnz725 You are entitled to believe what you want. I respect that, but respect others' beliefs. Marriage us not a dirty word. It is an institution. Now I tell you what there is no romance without finance. That means in this instance it is not romantic notion of single parenthood. There is struggle in the choice. Being in a 2 parent household is hard enough, but toting the road alone is 4 times as hard.
@Albioyonne Ghede shut up loser, you liberals trash are always for these weird lifestyles, and they promoting this to black woman
Yes!!! Us women don’t want to wait on a man to act right! Her baby is beautiful 🤩
Your children will continue to rank at the bottom. Statistically children raised by single mothers do worse than their two parent counterparts.
I hope people realise that these single mothers by choice are a part of a village. So their child or children may only have a mom at home but they also have other family members and friends of the mom who are providing support and that is important. My siblings and I went from a nuclear family to a single mom family after our father died. As painful as that was, we had aunts and uncles family friends of our mother male and female who provided guidance so we grew up whole. Why? We were raised by a village not just by our mom. Children need the mother figure and father figure and it doesn't have to be biological all it takes is responsible caring adults who are part of a community who wants to see the next generation flourish. And as for my family we had our faith and the church community played an important role in raising us too. I am so grateful for the childhood I had and I will pray for these families that they too will be blessed.
@@RearviewWisdom The void that was initially left was filled by the father figures in my life. I had "uncles" who let my sis and I know that we are special and any man who does not treat us with respect isn't worthy of us. They taught my brother to be a good man. I'm not saying children don't need fathers but I am saying that a father doesn't always have to be the biological person. I have my biological mom still today and she is my best friend but I have mother figures too who have been and are still there for me. And I still have the relationship with my father figures too. My father died and God blessed my siblings and I with father figures who helped us heal, and continue to grow as individuals that are now the mature adults today. Yes children need fathers but a father doesn't always have to be biological.
It’s like fuller house
@@RearviewWisdom no
A village will not fill that void in the heart for a dad. sorry.
@@ladybugz6278 there is no “dad” here, hence there is no “void” for a dad
as a 23 year old who tired of dating i may consider this in the future
I've started it for myself just recently.
Try to get a daughter they make you lot happier.
Exactly, they can do sex selection through ivf
Agreed, I’m not a single mom by choice but my husband and I are doing IVF and I only care about the female embryos.
I happily became a single mother 12 years ago and I love it. My son is happy and healthy :)
I pray there are dark skin Black donor’s. I’d love to do this but want my baby to look like me.
Yeah, there's A LOT going on with this story here.
There are dark skin donors. There’s usually a book of donors that you can flip through to see pictures or a description of the donors along with their medical history.
The women get to choose.
I was so confused. Like why?
There are. You get to see the race of each donor. White people are probably picked the most by the women so they're probably the majority if statistics show minorities being rarely picked. I saw a similar mini story in China as well and they used a White donor.
@@ItsmeCR-g8j thank you! I never knew. I just turned 38 and already talked to my Obgyn about freezing eggs. Then this video popped up! But I don’t want biracial children, I don’t date outside my race
I just became a Single mother by choice. My daughter is 2 weeks old and yes, she is multi racial. When it came to picking a healthy donate, race was not the most important. I picked a donor with great family history and no genetic disorders.
I happy for Wendy McNeal. You are a smart woman. I like how you went after what you wanted to do without having to settle for the wrong man to achieve it. Women cannot afford losing ourselves toward instability in unpredictable relationships. Kudos to you.
I'm all for women having the choice to do whatever they want with their lives and bodies. She looks happy with her decision and thats all that matters.
I decided to do that at 23 years old and I have never regretted one moment
@@P.90.603 no its not unfair as long as the child that has ppl in their life that love them they will be fine .
@@P.90.603 because she obviously wants to completely raise and child . And feel that bond of carrying your child. Its the best thing in the world amd no other bond like it and nothing wrong with wanting that. And it's harder to adopt and raise them .especially at the age of 14 .
@@P.90.603 and maybe she could do both but nothing wrong with wanting to have a baby .
@@P.90.603 ok so the men that donate don't want a child do u wanna force them to be a dad. It would be different if they wanted to be a father but they don't. And if I single man wants to adopt he should be able to also.
@@P.90.603 and the child will be just fine she probably has brothers and friends and if she finds someone good . But no one should have to settle and you can't wait forever for the right person to come along.
The best option for black women. This or marrying out side our race to have a child is the best outcome for black women. Don't have deal with absent black fathers and child support is stressful for black women.
Unfortunately true
Well she did not marry out side her race but she choose a sperm donor that is another race. Interesting.
I agree
True
Bible said power of life and death is in the tongue. Black men are amazing parents and black women are amazing parents in Jesus mighty name amen. Im fortunate to know great black men. Amen
I hate that women feel like they have to make this choice because so many romantic relationships are so broken
I don't blame them. Who feel like waiting for prince charming?
@@weavemademeadeadbeatdad2888. Right. I’m glad there are options now.
Can we please use the term ‘solo mom’ to separate those who take this route from the ‘single mom’ please? It can be confusing.
We have no choice we have no men I’m 35 no husband nothing at all and I’d rather have a baby alone then a baby w a bum
@@P.90.603 there aren't enough to choose from. just look at the stats. more are incarcerated than in college. and those who are out are undereducated and underemployed. they start having kids as teenagers. they don't value monogamy. and of the few that are educated and well employed, the most important quality when selecting a wife is how light her skin is. how does the average young professional black woman choose from that pool?
@@P.90.603 to black men, the single most important virtue for a wife is having light skin. for the men, it's a different story. get more education, work harder and your prospects improve.
@@P.90.603 lol thank you for proving my point. your attractive dark-skinned neighbor had to date out of her race because BM prize light skin over everything else.
@@P.90.603 lmao, those white women and other non black women ultimately end up with the same results. Abandoned by the same men and even worse for them because their communities wouldn't forgive them for having children and laying down with bm. The numbers don't lie. Bm don't make good partners. Notice she picked a white donor?
I feel you men.exactly my point I want to have that so called family but I don’t have a man. So I think it’s a wise decisions id rather be a single parent than be single and childless. And no offense I would like to adopt but I would want my own. Adoption is the last option.
yeah because not everyone is lucky to have a husband who will provide yet share diaper change duties and household chores. It is so hard taking care of a baby and w a husband who expects you to look your best, cook him the best and then complain. So hard being a woman -- even with a perfect husband, women are still expected to give more
This 👆🏿
Ain’t nobody trying to provide (pay all the bills) and have to change diapers & clean. Some of y’all women are very lazy. If a man has to provide and do all the other stuff, then women better be pitching in to pay bills.
@@Ruthless_king ain’t nobody going to be a birth machine then have to cook or clean. Choose one
@@z7z766 Either you take care of home and nurture like women are suppose to, or you go to work and pay the bills... or you can stay single, and still end up paying the bills. Pick one.
@@Ruthless_king Single motherhood through adoption is what I choose. Stay away from our home male
Are people really questioning why she didn’t choose the least educated, least employed, most incarcerated, highest poverty group of… nevermind 🙄
🤣
Right! 🤣
😆 🤣
Black women…the least desired, most in debt, least married population of women in the US 😂
😂😂😂😂 I’m
Confused too what would be the perks of those genetics for her baby 😂
I have mixed feelings about this . I’m HAPPY that women are choosing their own paths.However, women was and STILL is looked down upon for being a single mother/ single and not married. A lot of women didn’t pay for sperm to have their children but they chose to raise them often times without a father. Are we now going to start respecting ALL of the women that came before these woman that chose to raise their children? All I’m saying is we as a people need to pick a side. I Champion woman’s rights and whatever decisions they choose their bodies their choice. Our bodies our choice 😊
@@taelove9830 yeah, I agree and I can tell you that I am a single mother and no one was giving me a standing ovation for raising my son 🤷🏽♀️. Yes, I was married before and yes, my son’s father is in his life.
Knowing these ladies, they probably did this while having stable incomes. Single mothers with low incomes who can't afford to take care of their children and are really young tend to be looked down on. When the mother is older, mature and is secure with her bank, I don't see them get bad treatment.
@@Ada-zg2qb that’s a stigma that the media has portrayed “single” women to be. Not all single women are low income mothers. It doesn’t matter how old they are I personally know women in their mid 20’s early 30’s that make 6-7 figures. I also know women in their 40’s and 50’s that are low income broke women. I wish people STOP pushing their own insecurities off on other people. Not all young mothers are doing bad in life and not all older women are doing well in life. If a woman chooses to become a mother at whatever age she chooses and she can afford to take care of her children then it’s no one’s business. By the way let’s pat ALL real mothers on their backs for bringing life into this world and being responsible.
Single Motherhood is more challenging with low income or no support. This woman obviously has the funds to support one baby. I'm happy for her.
I see it as the opposite. A lot of people are angry about this but aren’t having the same kind of energy for women living in poverty that get knocked up by drug dealers, having an unplanned pregnancy and becoming a single mom that way. I totally agree though, the stigma should be removed and single moms deserve the upmost respect. Single dads too
I’m 34 and will do this in 3 years. In this day and age, I rather do it myself over being lied to and cheated on nonstop. Most women end up raising kids on their own anyway. So why not do it by yourself and never worry about baby daddy drama.
I have tears on my cheek, watching this. I know Doctor, in fact I babysat her when we where neigbours. She is a wonderful Mom and has raised to beautiful sons.
Looks like a lot of women who don't want to be bothered with a man or partner. Congrats to them.
Not worth it anymore
I can get a roommate at this point
Fathers are so important.
Of course, not all women find a man who they want to have a family with or the ones they find don't want to or would suck as a dad. In society, too many times, fathers do terrible things to their children.
I still say that a good father can make a huge difference in a child's life.
If the father isn't in the child's life, having a strong male influence can help shape the child's view of the men in the world as a positive influence.
My father was a horrible, abusive, raging alcoholic. I'm grateful that I had a grandfather who was wise, kind, intelligent. He loved my grandmother fiercely, he also loved me the same way.
He died more than a decade ago. His influence lives on.
Yup
Your mother chose him
@She Knows Why do u think she will find a man?
@@zerayacob3246 A simplistic view from a closed mind. Please seek help. Blessings to you.
@She Knows
Not having a child isn't a regret!
I've NEVER heard of a single person (*man or woman*) "regretful" for NOT having a kid(s)! Plus, having a kid(s) for the SOLE SIMPLE PURPOSE of NOT regretting it later ISN'T a reason or justification to have a child! That's NOT fair to the kid(s). That child NEVER asked nor chose to be here in the first place! If this were a case of "regret", why not adopt?!?!???? Why does the kid(s) have to be biological???
I do think you're better off if you can prepare yourself to raise a child on your own. 'Cause in my situation i was dating someone and i got pregnant so i told him that i was pregnant and blocked my phonenumber. That was so painful. I don't ever want to experience that ever again. I want more kids and i will do it like this from now on.
Very interesting story considering that just this morning out of the blue, i became immensely grateful that i got pregnant with my daughter 30 yrs ago as a teen single mom. It was challenging but having my child changed the trajectory of my life in insurmountable ways. She is the reason that i did a 180 degree turn around with all aspects of my now thriving life. Children have a special way of making you a better version of yourself when you take your role of motherhood seriously. Never found the right guy but unlike many of my single friends who don’t have children, i felt blessed to at least have one child who has birthed two adorable grandchildren that I adore immensely for they are a continuation of my legacy and i get to do for them what I wish I could’ve done for my child. Yes if i had to choose between being a mom and finding the love of my life, i’d definitely choose being a mom hands down without any hesitation or doubt. Women are living in a great time where they can plan their pregnancy with or without factoring in the perfect mate to help them to procreate. Of course the idea situation is to find the right guy to build a family with, but the way the dating world works these days, my God ladies please dont hold your breath and/or get caught up in struggle love or a toxic relationship just to have a child. That’s way more trouble than its worth. This was a real smart move on this lady’s part to take her fertility in her own hands instead of waiting on that proverbial “good man” who may or may not come along. Big up to women controlling their fertility destiny instead of leaving in the hands of meeting that illusive “perfect man”
Yes children can make you motivate and find some purpose in life.
@@yessalady5003 YES EXACTLY! Although i was a kid when i had my child, I became serious, mature and on purpose about my life. Though I contemplated abortion since i was so young and all, Im very glad that I didn’t because my child gave me meaning and purpose beyond measures and all that I’ve accomplished in my fruitful life was because of that human being that blessed my life.
2:45 he’s right, and they’re especially happy because of the genetic gift they have of being attractive
@GapYear EXACTLY 😂
Weird enough, at a young age (perhaps between 10-13) I kind of knew I would go this route. Fast forward to being 28,never really been in a relationship, I think I this might just be what’s in store for me by the time I’m 35.
Good luck on your journey
Same here. If I don’t have a ring on my finger by age 35 I’m heading down to the cryobank.
@@agees924 Cryobank is expensive, go with a guy you already know and trust.
A guy that cares about you would help you out for free
@@tom4412 nope. This is better than deal with a man that most likely won’t be a good dad. I had to deal with a father that was so misiogynist with my mom, no thanks. That life isn’t the life I want.
@@malverysuh7786 I didn’t mean a man to be a father figure. Just a donor. You don’t ever have to see him again. Unless you wanted another child with him.
It would be advisable to maintain some sort of contact just incase of health issues that might occur in the future.
There are lots of guys out there that will do that.
They must have up to date Sti test results though.
SOME OF THE PEOPLE IN THE COMMENT SECTION IS MISSING THE CONCEPT BEHIND HAVING CHILDREN'S THIS WAY. ITS NOT A HAVING MIX KIDS ITS ABOUT TIMING, SITUATIONS, AGING , OR JUST WANTING MORE KIDS.
People in the comment section are dumb
And if that was her choice to have a mix baby, what’s the problem? DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, people will always have some bs to say. That baby is so cute! God bless! All y’all negative people 🧿🪬 weirdos.
It goes the other way too with these negative weirdos.... I'm doing this but I'm white & the donor just happens to be black, I choose him because of his intelligent extended family with high achieving careers & warm empathetic sounding personalities...The ethnicity was just a side detail, the actual PERSON was my focus.Let's hope all the rednecks & negative jerks don't come out of the woodworks with torches & pitchforks after me🙄.
I am 37 with no boyfriend, not that I want one and i want to have a baby by myself
Aim higher queen.
Do it!!!! Dont wait you'll regret it.
@@LadyK007 what does aiming higher means according to you
@🌗NVトライガン🌓 were you high when you wrote this what are you saying right now
Wendy and Harlow are beautiful. So many men leave their kids anyway, may as well have a baby on your own terms without a man.
💯💓
I thought I was the only one. 😂 if I wasn’t married by x then I was having a child. Baby there is power in the tongue because boop I was pregnant at that age and I wouldn’t trade it for the world! I am woman and this woman wanted to be a mother. 🥰
Having a baby on your own when it’s planned, is much better than having a baby on your own by mistake. Cheers! 👩🏽🦱🇺🇸
Nah this chicken head should of got a house cat. This is asinine, irresponsible and selfish.
@@robbycole7047 stay mad incel
@@z7z766 keep your kids out the street and stop letting your baby daddy eat all your kids snacks. You know you dont get enough food stamps to feed him.
@@robbycole7047 don’t have to deal with non of that fortunately.
@@z7z766 youre a maury povich broad. You Got the whole starting lineup of the utah jazz getting paternity tested & dont know who the father is lol could be the point guard could be the janitor. You gave the mascot a scarlett johandy for a tshirt.
I understand. You have two options, Are you willing to wait for the perfect man? Or will you just start your life on your own since you can make the same income as him and it's now possible to marry others while having children?
That's really sweet, and I'm glad more women are becoming as stable as they are with all the child-rearing support they need, especially because they are truly prioritizing their offspring over a mate, like nature is supposed to. Community parent networking is a great idea.
One parent will never be better than 2. All the statistics show this
@@aguy9071 Well that's not an option anymore for most of us.
@@abigailmendoza2502 Exactly!
@@aguy9071 Most men in these "modern" days don't even want to get married. All these narcissists want to do is lay up with a bunch of different women and waste our time! Nobody has time to waste waiting on prince charming to fall from the sky, we want children...Also, not every woman is looking for a 6 figure, 9 ft tall man...
I am thinking about being a single mother by choice I’m 40 never married or pregnant
Why not?
The man will eventually leave her doing it all herself anyway.
Why not just choose it from the gate and save the headache.
As a Believer in Christ, my thoughts are that fulfilling your life assignment for the Kingdom is whats most important. If God is leading you to take this route then that's all that matters. It's definitely something worth praying about for sure. Praying protection, provision and love for mommy and baby ❤️
I agree as a Christian woman i want a child but not a husband. Therefore i believe adoption is the only biblically ethical route fo me to take. Therefore i am not taking away from a child's chances of having a dad (i love my dad) but i am only a blessing filling a role in a childs life that wouldn't otherwise exist (necessarily)
@@deesott5123 how wonderful! Blessings to you!😊
As a Christian how can God lead a single woman to have a baby alone? This dont line up with the word of God. Although God will bless/ provide for single mothers. That was not God's original plan for women. The word of God says: be fruitful & multiple in a marriage, Not as a single woman. In my opinion, its selfish to purposely plan kids in single parents homes. Society make adult "self" decisions without acknowledging what's best /right for kids.) Kids need mother & father two parent homes.
@@jeweldavis2350 I understand that it will never be the most ideal for any child to only have one parent. However, in cases such as adoption i believe God has no problem with it. But the bible says what is not of faith is a sin. so all according to your convictions i suppose.
@@deesott5123 there have been circumstances where family members had to raise/ take care of their family member kids whom: deceased, on drugs That i understand because that's a circumstance. But to purposely/ plan go get pregnant as single woman with no father present. i dont agree i think its selfish. Fathers in a home are important/ vital to kids. So many men in Prison spoke on the absence of no father in their homes. Not to mention singlemothers whom struggling not just financially. Emotionally as well.
I love this and am definitely considering going this route myself! What a beautiful family :)
Unpopular opinion: men are still relevant and fathers are absolutely necessary in the lives of children. Mothers can provide SO much to their children, but they can NEVER be fathers. There is a natural order that should be respected and this is not the way at all. That being said, I wish this mom and all other single mothers and their children well. 💗
yeah. but not all women will be able to marry while they are still fertile and time is an essential factor to women reproduction. a father figure can be the mother brother or future spouse too.
I'll edit... GOOD MEN, are still relevant and fathers are absolutely necessary in the lives of children. The real issue is women are not finding compatible men who want to be fathers within their biological time frame... with that strong desire to for-fill your womanhood and become a mother, what else do women in their late 30s do???. I think most women would LOVE to have a supportive and healthy man in the house. But where are the ones who really want it??
Compatibility may have been an issue for Wendy, but I believe if she found a man she liked.. he'd be the father of that beautiful baby
@@authenticabae5899 100% agree
Totally agree with you. If the father is willing to take care of the kid and be in the kids life please let them. Fathers are equally important
@@LolaBugzy85 most man have weaponised incompetence
I did this, I think a lot of people don't understand. you can a long on and on about how it will affect the child, but i think everyone is different
I love that there's a host of support systems out there for women doing it solo. It doesn't have to be a relationship.
@@P.90.603 🙄 Time waits for no one.
@@P.90.603 Did you watch the program? Seems like the kids are well adjusted. And it's not just women who go solo. Men do too. Some ppl are just conflict-averse. You need to be ok with the decisions ppl make for themselves.
@@P.90.603 Yea, it's happening. Deal with it. Thank goodness, not everyone shares that opinion.
@@saraho9568 thank you. This people are so triggered but why are they not taking care of people that have been left by the same fathers they’re talking about? She’s doing it by choice, hardly going to be like mothers left to do it on their own
Love this!! I'm currently pregnant with my first at 37 using a donor 😊
Reproducing is the only reason we're all here. Marriage is a social construct created by man. As a woman your body tells you every month for a set number of years that you are here to reproduce, regardless of what society says. Marriage is a worthy ideal, but not being married should not be a barrier to fulfiling what your body is designed to do.
I wish mom and baby a happy life.
I think it’s wonderful that we live in a society where we can make a variety of choices.
What concerns me is that the babies going to grow up and will be curious about the father. Perhaps the child might want to connect with their donor one day. What if that happened?
I firmly believe that everyone has the right to pursue happiness in whatever way to keep it.
I also totally understand why many women wouldn’t want to wait for a man to start their family or prefer to be single but still want to be parents.
I’m a single woman and I definitely want children one day. I don’t have an ideal number of children but I know I want them.
However, I want my kids to have a mom and a dad.
The influence of a father is as important to children as the importance of a mother.
I think the children should be treated as blessings and not commodities. I personally don’t feel like I have a right to have children but they are supposed to be gifts from God or the universe, and should be treated as such.
Congrats to the mom in this video. I wish you a happy life and great success with raising your baby.
People alway talk about ‘ I want, I want’ what about what God wants. Children should know their fathers, now woman cannot make a man love and support and stay in their children lives, but that is on the man , he will have to answer to God, but we are to go Gods way and if it’s not his way, it was never for us.
I used to think just like how you think, so I understand. Right now I'm 37 yrs old and the dating has been complicated for me. Alot of Men I have met have no desire for marriage or children. I can always get married, but I don't want to miss my chance to become a Mother.
@@dominiquewyatt6704 just do it or at least go to a fertility specialist to check your fertility. I did this at 37 years old and I am glad I did.
@Sonja Anderson I never knew my father it was always just my mother and I growing up and I'm 14 now and still don't know him, my mother has always told me that my Father wasn't a goof man and he isn't needed in my life and it never bothered me so..and life's been great!
@@applepie8308 that is wonderful, i am glad you are growing up to be a productive person. May God continue to bless you and your mom.
This is good! Less stress.
So touching. I wish both of you nothing but the best on this blessed journey.
I love this I’m a single mom of one and I will choose to do this In the future
Yes donor here
Im 31 & did same thing.! Didnt wanna wait any longer lol. I didnt do fertility treatments though luckily i got pregnant on my own
What a sweet story. And I’m glad they have a community. I’m glad they talked about how important that is. Whether you are two parents or a single parent raising a child(ren) you cannot neglect the fact that you need support. Parenting was never meant to be done alone. And I’m glad people who really want children are finding ways to have them. ❤❤
The baby is so cute like a doll ❤
Met my wife while on the single mother by choice journey - God is funny like that 🤷🏾♀️😂
i'd love to hear that story.
I can't wait to adopt on my own
most people cant even take care of a kid with two parents due to the costs, good luck.
seems like you are only interviewing upper-middle class women
Even if its an upper middle class single parent home statistically those children will still do worse than children in 2 parent homes at the same socioeconomic level
@@biscaynesupercars, your...stats... I take it don't include children in cemeteries murdered by the males who created them, and these women allowing their boyfriends in the homes, eating her children's food after killing them.
I’m hardly upper middle class but as most parents do, you find a way to find a way.
@@wsmcneal15 you find away when things unexpectedly happen and you have to adjust to new circumstances like a divorce or an unforeseen injury or death of a spouse. But knowingly, willingly and voluntarily putting yourself into that position isn’t finding away. You’re actually finding away to put yourself in a bad position no figure out how to make the best of a bad position that you were put into
@@biscaynesupercars Please post those stats because the stats I have do not show that.
Awesome! I rather be a single mom than to be in a unhealthy relationship. At that point you're taking care of two children. :P
Also, Baby Harlow is going to grow up knowing her mom wanted her so much and not an oopsy baby.
I am 25 and thinking of having a child through a sperm donor and a surrogate. Now I am building a very heavy strong financial stability for my selfmade family. I have decided to take matters into my own hands because I am afraid of being in a wrong relationship just for the sake of having a child. And again I also have this fear of dying while giving birth, I would be a ghost knowing I left my child in this world without me to love, guide and protect them.
Good for you both
Good for her. Love this.
A few years ago there was a guy who asked me to choose between getting too much money with no marriage and little money with marriage, I answered him money is better than marriage 💍 😂 even though I had the problem of how should I get a baby 👶, but after finding out about IUI and IVF, I just confirmed 100% that I want too much money 💵 than a 💍 ❤️❤️💕💕 because since I was born I never saw anything good about men in terms of love, relationships or 💍 so I'm always afraid that I will end up the same 😢 so I want to become SMC ❤️
I can show you that men can be good
I will say it's a difficult road ahead. There will be moments like my children have where children tell them they are adopted because they only see me never their fathers. Especially with girls they will have a need to know why their dad isn't around. It's 24/7 no breaks except for every now and again. She is blessed to have a support system in the real world many single moms like myself don't. Be blessed.
That’s what I wonder about. How to get over the questions of where their other half is so to speak.
A single mom by choice it’s different. She has support from her family and friends. Like “full house.” Basically. The kids won’t miss the father
@@malverysuh7786 how would you know if her child wouldn't miss their father? Do you know how many school activities involve dads? When it's time for a father daughter dance you think she won't ask. The first time a boy breaks her heart you think she won't wonder about her own father. Y'all are so weird individuals if you think a child will never long for their father.
@@Ronnie2389 because I’m from a family in which They never missed their father. Not even one bit. So like I know what I’m talking about.
Fathers aren’t that big of a deal. There is a reason why women couldn’t have jobs before so then fathers were important to stick around
@@malverysuh7786 Okay whatever lies get you through life. Be blessed.
There’s a lot going on with the story we as black women have been put down by black men for so long especially when it comes out hair it doesn’t surprise me the path she took
And the solution is produce half-white children that won't identify as black while also making a statement to black men that you consider them disposable and irrelevant?
This type of thing is a wet dream for white supremacists. A minority group intentionally wiping themselves out. There has to be a better way than this.
My goal is to redeem the image of the nuclear family… I use to say I wanted to be a single mom by choice but when I weighed out the possible pros and cons I prayed against that desire and God definitely blessed it!
I decided to be patient long enough to be found by my soul-mate. Got to know and workout problems etc with self & husband and then brought a child into the world. I’m happy that now my child is able to get the best representation of the feminine(female) & masculine(male) interaction, & God-designed foundation.
And as difficult as motherhood can be I’m soooo happy I didn’t decide to do it alone cuz chilllllddd ooohhh weeee… I don’t want to be the strong-single-black woman anymore ✌🏿
I surely hope that the baby gets to connect with her father in the future 💛
🎯
Love this!! 🙏🏾 how did you & your husband meet? Dating is sooo challenging as a young believer trying to do things God way!
That's good for your decision, but everybody life is different. Everyone isn't going to end up meeting the Love of our life. Alot of Men today is complicated
@@dominiquewyatt6704 exactly. You don’t want to deal with a horrible husband therefore a Horrible father. Nope
figure out what it is that men are doing to drive women away. fix those issues and we will have fewer women saying they want to be SMBC. otherwise, heterosexual marriages will remain in trouble.
It’s interesting that she chose a white donor… all power to you sis
Interesting or pathetic.
@@BethJehovah Both
Very possible the donor was listed as black but are ( biracial or Latino)! Mom may have mixed parent(s). Genetics is surprising! Can't assume just because baby has brighter features.
@@lisakewley3892 Racism has convinced you of black genetic extinction I see. Again, pathetic.
@@lisakewley3892 which is probably the reason she chose a white donor.
I had my beautiful daughter at 39. I found men approached me more with the stroller then when I was childless.
Be careful lots of pedos approach single moms.
I don't know if thats a good thing....🤨
As long as they're not after your kid for disgusting reasons.
@@biellaspointofview2054 What’s up with so much male hate lately? Many men innocently love babies too
This is amazing!!! I have been thinking about this for the longest time and I always felt ashamed of doing so now that I see it's possible, sign my name on the SMC cz in coming baby!!!
As a person who got no assistance from my insurance company, this is amazing. I wish all
Companies would offer at least basic screening so families could no their options as early as possible
Sad society is no longer valuing the traditional family unit
Baby Harlow is THE cutest baby everrrrr!!!
Congratulations! Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mothers Day. You made the best choice ever
Eliminating fathers and men from the home ...this is destructive
Men eliminate themselves
in the black community where the men’s preference is biracial women, so if anything, you may need to be happy because it be more biracial women for you to choose from. At least most black women’s reason for choosing a non-black sperm donor is not because of self hatred….
It’s so sad to see the lack of ability to function in a marriage between a man and a woman. I hope traditional lives come back in style because I can’t imagine raising a family by myself in this world.
how is it sad? women do not have to wait for men to decide to act right before moving on with their lives 🤷🏽♀️
@A J because women want children not men. what’s so hard to understand?
@A J the desires of the lone parent by choice in the video does not represent every other woman that chooses the path. vulgarity doesn’t make you more intelligent, try again.
💯🎯
Marriages were a social unnatural invention! More and more people are finally realising that.