I was thinking this as well while I was watching the interview. It would have been like Sam Jones just asking him a bunch of Avengers questions. You have to gauge the time and space of when to ask these questions.
"Any great partner holds their space and lets you fish yourself out of the chasm with a kind of benevolent neglect, which is saying, I can't do this work for you because it doesn't work if I take credit for it."
If you know your partner is genuine when you’re not around watching them- that’s comforting. If you find out your husband turns on the porn the moment you leave the house... that’s not a partner. That’s a fucking child and you don’t need to spend your time raising them.
Me too!! Too many people these days think asking for consistency is too much but it’s the exact opposite. It’s freeing because it means less worry and showing up for each other out of love, not control or obligation. If someone consistently shows up for me, I cut them all the slack in the world when they can’t because it’s an exception as opposed to the norm.
Stoop_Kid yeah from 1993 way before he met Susan but since he met Susan he hasn’t been with anyone else he’d never cheat on her he’s said in an interview that he’d never cheat
This is so true, when you find someone that you can say "You're like me" and you relate and can trust them with more than your life its the greatest feeling and its amazing. To bond with someone you love both physically and emotionally
Why doesn't this have more views??? *This is like one of the best modern interviews I've ever seen!* No interrupting to save time, allowing him to fully contextualize his answer fully before moving on, and responding only when he's finished a thought and to expand on it.
he just said something super important that a lot of people esp. nowadays dont really understand-talking about the way she gives him validation brings so many important things to mind. -he’s talking about this in the context of, she pushes him to be better. She isn’t telling him that his failures are valid or that his mistakes are valid, shes giving him feedback on what he can do to be better-not that she doesn’t accept him how she is, because otherwise they wouldn’t even be married. It’s more like she validates what she sees as good and helps him to lean how to improve what needs improving. to me that’s the realest validation and so many people don’t have someone like that in their life. I’m so so happy for him. -the fact that he says she doesn’t baby him is everything because a lot of times I imagine that creates tension-people often find themselves recoiling against criticism out of insecurity. It doesn’t seem like rdj is insecure, but every once in a while you find a sore spot you don’t like to be called out. either way, he acknowledges that her criticisms are tough love and meant to help him, and he _trusts_ her not to baby him. this is really the best type of relationship partner someone could ask for, tbh. essay’s over, as you were lol
I’m not an addict. But after having met several I can say that RDJ is very fortunate in his addition to have had so many chances and so many people who have cared enough about him to give him the opportunities he’s had. He’s an amazing talent, and incredibly intelligent. But I often wonder about the “regular guy” who falls into addiction and may not be so fortunate. I’ve known those people, and there is no one like Susan to save them.
@@nonamefound9296 Haha now that you mention it 🤭 But what I actually meant is that it's nice to see people's awareness and the want and need to have these things fixed. They may be minor, but it does boost a person's morale by a whole lot. 😊
"Without being rigid, I just try to hold my space so that it's something that is consistent enough for someone else to rely on and have a deep, abiding trust in. If I'm completely trustworthy, if my word is bond and I suit up and show up no matter what you can count on me, that gives the other so much freedom because they're not having to entangle with my inconsistency or my neurosis or my need." I think there's especially a lot of power in Robert's philosophy due to his history of addiction. Anyone who has had a close relationship with an addict can tell you of the heartache and pain that stems from their lies, deceit, and broken promises and it appears that Robert has learned a great deal of importance regarding re-building and maintaining trust.
I really hate that guy....No person have the right to dig on their past..... If I was there I would definitely slapped him for asking such questions..... To be Honest RDJ calmly walked out
You can tell he really lived, the bad and now thankfully the good. He is so wise, the way he speaks on his relationship with his wife touches me. It is so much more than love, it is support, trust and connection.
*"Any great partner holds their space and lets you fish yourself out of the chasm with a kind of benevolent neglect, which is saying, I can't do this work for you because it doesn't work if I take credit for it."* 👏👏👏
For the first time, I'm not mad that Robert is not married to me.... after hearing this I'm happy he has her - even though that mean I can't!!! Just joking, I love him, & I have a super crush, but this was awesome to hear! Good vibes, Robert!
I love every bit of this. The positive reflection and words of wisdom. The love and appreciation RDJ has. The calm, peaceful atmosphere. You both seem so comfortable with each other!
I love RDJ's story. It's really inspiring, especially for someone like me who has struggled with addictions and rose from it. While I am no means Iron Man, my son looks up to me as if I am.
I’m a Gen Xer, I grew up with him being a complete mess and always in trouble. The media would turn his court appearances into a circus, they were making millions off of his mistakes. It’s nice to see him get his life together, make a huge comeback, and finding a partner who pushes him to be better.
This is so philosophical. I love it. He's not talking about fluffy fairytale romance. They have a genuine partnership where they see each other's souls. I LOVE IT.
I wonder what was Susan’s for thought when she saw Robert in Weird Science and to later work with him on a movie set and her realize that this guy she seen in a movie when she was kid would ask her out?
How does somebody who spent so many decades high and who has just a high school education end up so damn articulate? Roberts off the cuff intelligence and charisma always amazes me.
❤️❤️😫😫Love RDJ, one of my absolute favorites in Hollywood and just in general because of his inspiring story and he seems like an amazing person. He is one of the people I have to meet along with Samuel Jackson, and Kevin Feige, but I have to have at least an hour with Feige tho lol
simply a great way of answering that question no someone can’t save you, it has to be you who does the work however they can certainly aid in the process
@@Stingra87 - Betterment is not a more impressive or scholastic word than improvement. It's just an expanded form of the word better. It's like saying the word "sluggish" which is an expanded form of the word slug, and thinking that it's smarter than lethargic or torpid.
@@YourMajesty143 "Betterment" applies to condition or being, while "improvement" applies to actions or abilities. For example: - "The betterment of ones mind is a worthy goal." - "Your understanding of grammar needs improvement."
i love the way that sam talks about robert's past. not in a sneaky, sly, trying-to-dig-up-the-dirt way that krishnan guru murthy did, but rather in a very factual, up-front, casual way. Love this interview!
I wonder if any of those two read the comments. Ive never seen such a empathetic and thoughtful interviewer like Sam. And at the same time, Downey seems like an clever guy who so so self-reflected and psychological intelligent and yet he is so different from me. He is so invested in all those thoughts but at the same time he keeps so much distance from the outer world and doesnt rly let anybody in his mind.
I hope to eventually have a relationship like the way he has with his wife. Also who knew that eventually her seeing he future mans in a movie led to her later marrying him. 😂
@Richard Soltero Yeah, so you just go around asking for girls names out of kindness? Complete bullshit. By the way, this is a comment section I'm allowed to reply whomever I want. Have a nice day, sweety.
@Richard Soltero Jesus, your first comment was kinda creepy but you could have saved yourself by being self aware and reasonable. Instead you dig yourself a very deep grave of mega-creepiness. This is kind of impressive. Pro tip, in the future, if someone calls you a creep, do not prove them right beyond a shadow of a doubt with a fragile as heck ego... Take responsibility for your actions and behave like a mentally sound adult. Not like a child with anger issues who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
@Richard Soltero Curiosity, and hope of getting answers. While trauma and grief certainly would contribute to your kind of behaviour, it seems like there has to be a lot more behind it. My first response was a too half-hearted attempt at making you step back and re-evaluate yourself, but after that I gave up since I doubt I could say anything that would make you understand anytime soon. But there was still the mystery left, how you became this way. I have mostly seen this kind of behaviour among the groups I asked you about, since that may not be it, I move on to other guesses. Though I do want to point out that macho cultures or e.g. southern US state cultures do have a lot of face saving struggles, though I too late realized the wording may have implied Asian cultures. Do you have any hobbies you love?
Always. Please never coddle your partner. If you are a woman, one of the worst things for men to experience is coddling from his partner. We don't need to be coddled.
This is how you talk about Roberts past. Not when he’s doing publicity interviews for a movie. Far more appropriate situation.
Agreed.
I was thinking this as well while I was watching the interview. It would have been like Sam Jones just asking him a bunch of Avengers questions. You have to gauge the time and space of when to ask these questions.
Well said.
Indeed
Exf***ingactly.
"Any great partner holds their space and lets you fish yourself out of the chasm with a kind of benevolent neglect, which is saying, I can't do this work for you because it doesn't work if I take credit for it."
Huang Xiuqi I love and agree with this statement
I hate and disagree with thie statement
this would go down as a legendary quote in the history of relationship advices
@@sweatysack4761 your profile picture is really really scary
@@angelasinger2953 Your name is even scarier
"If I had one question to ask about her, What does she see in you?"
*Surprised laughter*
That’s so nice... how he is saying accountability gives your partner freedom...
How does accountability give your partner freedom?
He explained it: it means you do not have to work out his inconsistencies, and spend her time figuring him out, or being burdened with his neediness.
If you know your partner is genuine when you’re not around watching them- that’s comforting.
If you find out your husband turns on the porn the moment you leave the house... that’s not a partner. That’s a fucking child and you don’t need to spend your time raising them.
Me too!! Too many people these days think asking for consistency is too much but it’s the exact opposite. It’s freeing because it means less worry and showing up for each other out of love, not control or obligation. If someone consistently shows up for me, I cut them all the slack in the world when they can’t because it’s an exception as opposed to the norm.
@@42kellys What did he mean by that? Can you give an example?
This is the way to talk and talk about someone's past. 🙌
Aww I love how he talks about Susan, they are couple goals ❤️
IF YOU THINK HE HASN'T FUCKED OTHER GIRLS, YOU'RE DELUSIONAL
@crazymiles14 YAYYY
He has kid by another woman of course he slept with other women, but I doubt he does now
La_Trolette since he met Susan he hasn’t slept with other women he wouldn’t cheat on Susan at all
Stoop_Kid yeah from 1993 way before he met Susan but since he met Susan he hasn’t been with anyone else he’d never cheat on her he’s said in an interview that he’d never cheat
I love how he talks about his wife. It’s so sweet and respectful
You're an incredible interviewer. Downey is the man, but you brought out some amazing stuff in these last few videos.
Keep up the great work.
Totaly agree 100%!
Can we all please take a moment to acknowledge that RDJ goes to therapy and by saying it he made it so much more approachable
They don't show off in social media.but, Robert and Susan are one of the adoring couples in Hollywood.
Find a man who smiles and beams at the sound of your name like he does with Susan
Exactly, that was beautiful!
Golddigger
"Benevolent neglect" love that, a more positive way to say don't enable people lol.
I love their relationship so muchhh😭😭❤
@Elizah Byrnes lol thanks :)
This is so true, when you find someone that you can say "You're like me" and you relate and can trust them with more than your life its the greatest feeling and its amazing. To bond with someone you love both physically and emotionally
Why doesn't this have more views???
*This is like one of the best modern interviews I've ever seen!*
No interrupting to save time, allowing him to fully contextualize his answer fully before moving on, and responding only when he's finished a thought and to expand on it.
This sweater was such a great choice for black and white
he just said something super important that a lot of people esp. nowadays dont really understand-talking about the way she gives him validation brings so many important things to mind.
-he’s talking about this in the context of, she pushes him to be better. She isn’t telling him that his failures are valid or that his mistakes are valid, shes giving him feedback on what he can do to be better-not that she doesn’t accept him how she is, because otherwise they wouldn’t even be married. It’s more like she validates what she sees as good and helps him to lean how to improve what needs improving. to me that’s the realest validation and so many people don’t have someone like that in their life. I’m so so happy for him.
-the fact that he says she doesn’t baby him is everything because a lot of times I imagine that creates tension-people often find themselves recoiling against criticism out of insecurity. It doesn’t seem like rdj is insecure, but every once in a while you find a sore spot you don’t like to be called out. either way, he acknowledges that her criticisms are tough love and meant to help him, and he _trusts_ her not to baby him.
this is really the best type of relationship partner someone could ask for, tbh.
essay’s over, as you were lol
Daisy P man! I loved the essay. Very well expressed
You get it! THANK YOU ;)
You're sweet
I’m not an addict. But after having met several I can say that RDJ is very fortunate in his addition to have had so many chances and so many people who have cared enough about him to give him the opportunities he’s had. He’s an amazing talent, and incredibly intelligent. But I often wonder about the “regular guy” who falls into addiction and may not be so fortunate. I’ve known those people, and there is no one like Susan to save them.
I don't think she saved him. I think he finally let someone love him. Not just lust, control, or obsess over him.
I ship Susan and Robert 3000🤓❤
Did he just gave credit to his tooth gap for his successful marriage?!😂
Happiness Teeth
As a dentist, this is my moment of pride!
@@ditaa_pk9758 really?! Don't you guys "fix" tooth gaps?! You're ruining marriages in a way!😂
@@nonamefound9296 Haha now that you mention it 🤭
But what I actually meant is that it's nice to see people's awareness and the want and need to have these things fixed. They may be minor, but it does boost a person's morale by a whole lot. 😊
Listen again.
I absolutely adore Robert Downey Jr.- just his story of resilience and passion for his craft. Such a refreshing interview.
His vulnerability/respect for his wife is so lovely
Every one of your interviews feels like you're in your living room, talking with an old friend. The black and white definitely adds to that vibe.
"Without being rigid, I just try to hold my space so that it's something that is consistent enough for someone else to rely on and have a deep, abiding trust in. If I'm completely trustworthy, if my word is bond and I suit up and show up no matter what you can count on me, that gives the other so much freedom because they're not having to entangle with my inconsistency or my neurosis or my need." I think there's especially a lot of power in Robert's philosophy due to his history of addiction. Anyone who has had a close relationship with an addict can tell you of the heartache and pain that stems from their lies, deceit, and broken promises and it appears that Robert has learned a great deal of importance regarding re-building and maintaining trust.
rdj: we don't really know what we're doing when we are doing it
me: watching this instead of studying with my laptop... 🤫
in France, we call them happiness teeth
😁😁😁😍😍😍
Les dents du bonheur 😌
Pourquoi?!
Krishnan Guru-Murthy should take note on the appropriate way to discuss somebody’s past.
He’s a professional wind up merchant
Is that the guy who asked too personal a question to RDJ?
Abhinaya Mary Koshy yeah that’s him
@@EscapeTheHold I hate that guy!!! I hope he rots in hell!!! Poor RDJ, though he was very calm and respectful!!
I really hate that guy....No person have the right to dig on their past.....
If I was there I would definitely slapped him for asking such questions.....
To be Honest RDJ calmly walked out
This is on Spotify right now and it's simply amazing :) 🖤
Thanks I' m totally listenig the all thing!!
@@vikib1758 u should. I'm loving it so far! & so are all the others. :)
Thank you. I was looking for this everwhere.
Thank you
You can tell he really lived, the bad and now thankfully the good. He is so wise, the way he speaks on his relationship with his wife touches me. It is so much more than love, it is support, trust and connection.
Still super proud of him. He’s come a long way. She’s perfect for him, and he’s smart to hang on to her.
*"Any great partner holds their space and lets you fish yourself out of the chasm with a kind of benevolent neglect, which is saying, I can't do this work for you because it doesn't work if I take credit for it."* 👏👏👏
For the first time, I'm not mad that Robert is not married to me.... after hearing this I'm happy he has her - even though that mean I can't!!! Just joking, I love him, & I have a super crush, but this was awesome to hear! Good vibes, Robert!
two guys having an honest, real conversation about relationships...love it
RDJ explains, for all the people who don't believe in it, why love is so important and special
I love every bit of this. The positive reflection and words of wisdom. The love and appreciation RDJ has. The calm, peaceful atmosphere. You both seem so comfortable with each other!
I love RDJ's story. It's really inspiring, especially for someone like me who has struggled with addictions and rose from it. While I am no means Iron Man, my son looks up to me as if I am.
"Benevolent neglect" beautiful and so true. No one can fix you, but we are social animals and need to be loved in order to know how to love ourselves.
I’m a Gen Xer, I grew up with him being a complete mess and always in trouble. The media would turn his court appearances into a circus, they were making millions off of his mistakes. It’s nice to see him get his life together, make a huge comeback, and finding a partner who pushes him to be better.
"benevolent neglect"
Amritha S which means I’m benefiting you by putting ones self out of reach in order to achieve what is at hand
@@prettyapple101 Thank you :) He really is a master at coining phrases like that. It really helps my vocab.
Aka “tough love”. She had the strength to take him on but also she’s not taking any of his bullshit!
The Avengers tattoo :')
This is so philosophical. I love it. He's not talking about fluffy fairytale romance. They have a genuine partnership where they see each other's souls. I LOVE IT.
I wonder what was Susan’s for thought when she saw Robert in Weird Science and to later work with him on a movie set and her realize that this guy she seen in a movie when she was kid would ask her out?
How does somebody who spent so many decades high and who has just a high school education end up so damn articulate? Roberts off the cuff intelligence and charisma always amazes me.
Rdj and Susan. The most underrated love story. Not all men get the woman that changes your life to the best.
I like these type of interviews when you could leave the character and get to the man.
❤️❤️😫😫Love RDJ, one of my absolute favorites in Hollywood and just in general because of his inspiring story and he seems like an amazing person. He is one of the people I have to meet along with Samuel Jackson, and Kevin Feige, but I have to have at least an hour with Feige tho lol
Best love story ever❤💙💚💛💜💓💕💖💗💘💝💞💟
"Any great partner holds their space and lets you fish yourself out of the chasm."
Robert and Susan are meant for each other in every way and it’s so beautiful to see.
now THIS is a safe space. thanks for respectful interview of a brilliant actor. "Benevolent neglect". gonna think on that
What an absolutely amazing life story on screen and off. I hope Robert is mentoring many.
I will always be grateful that mr. downey decided to stay awhile longer
This man inspire me so much I don’t have words.
Thank you thank you thank you a thousand times thank you for giving the rest of us a little light in the darkness...
*We don't know what we are doing, while we are doing it!!*
So accurate!! 👌🔥
To be Consistent enough for someone else to rely on. This is an awesome phrase to live by
Aww he said "suit up"😍😍
Oh yeah!😏
the way he said that!!😂😂
RBJ co-created THE iconic "made for cinema" super hero character. He did his part - in spades! I wish him happiness going forward.
simply a great way of answering that question
no someone can’t save you, it has to be you who does the work however they can certainly aid in the process
It's a dangerous game to place all recovery cards in someone else's hands. But kudos to RDJ for his success with it
Im saying 'improvement'. Robert says 'betterment'
Me: why dont people speak like him? My vocabulary is poor
Because most people dislike reading books and don't have respect for schooling.
@@Stingra87 - Betterment is not a more impressive or scholastic word than improvement. It's just an expanded form of the word better. It's like saying the word "sluggish" which is an expanded form of the word slug, and thinking that it's smarter than lethargic or torpid.
@@YourMajesty143 "Betterment" applies to condition or being, while "improvement" applies to actions or abilities. For example:
- "The betterment of ones mind is a worthy goal."
-
"Your understanding of grammar needs improvement."
I'm very happy for him and where he is in life and that he has someone like that by his side
Imagine being this wonderful of a person
Please release the complete interview!! What an amazing interview!!
offcamera.com/issues/robert-downey-jr-2/listen/
Finally an interviewer who knows how to talk about people's pasts without fucking shit up. Respect. And subscribe
I can't believe I haven't heard about you before. You're amazing at interviewing people. I can't wait to see more
i love the way that sam talks about robert's past. not in a sneaky, sly, trying-to-dig-up-the-dirt way that krishnan guru murthy did, but rather in a very factual, up-front, casual way. Love this interview!
He truly found his soulmate ❤
His avengers tattoo! I love it!
"He has a space between his teeth, it's okay that I have a space between my teeth."
Susan really said: I Can Fix Him (I Really Can)
You`re doing such good work. You are so sensitive and empathic in the run, that`s why they trust you.
BRILLANT T E A M W O R K !
This video was beautiful and full of wisdom 😌
Robert talks about seeing a shrink and it’s so liberating to know that other people also see a shrink and are not ashamed to talk about it!
I wonder if any of those two read the comments. Ive never seen such a empathetic and thoughtful interviewer like Sam.
And at the same time, Downey seems like an clever guy who so so self-reflected and psychological intelligent and yet he is so different from me.
He is so invested in all those thoughts but at the same time he keeps so much distance from the outer world and doesnt rly let anybody in his mind.
I hope to eventually have a relationship like the way he has with his wife.
Also who knew that eventually her seeing he future mans in a movie led to her later marrying him. 😂
@Richard Soltero dude don't even try that. This isn't tinder.
@Richard Soltero Yeah, so you just go around asking for girls names out of kindness? Complete bullshit. By the way, this is a comment section I'm allowed to reply whomever I want. Have a nice day, sweety.
@Richard Soltero Jesus, your first comment was kinda creepy but you could have saved yourself by being self aware and reasonable. Instead you dig yourself a very deep grave of mega-creepiness. This is kind of impressive. Pro tip, in the future, if someone calls you a creep, do not prove them right beyond a shadow of a doubt with a fragile as heck ego... Take responsibility for your actions and behave like a mentally sound adult. Not like a child with anger issues who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
@Richard Soltero Curiosity, and hope of getting answers. While trauma and grief certainly would contribute to your kind of behaviour, it seems like there has to be a lot more behind it. My first response was a too half-hearted attempt at making you step back and re-evaluate yourself, but after that I gave up since I doubt I could say anything that would make you understand anytime soon. But there was still the mystery left, how you became this way. I have mostly seen this kind of behaviour among the groups I asked you about, since that may not be it, I move on to other guesses. Though I do want to point out that macho cultures or e.g. southern US state cultures do have a lot of face saving struggles, though I too late realized the wording may have implied Asian cultures. Do you have any hobbies you love?
Grateful they found what works for them as a couple & family. That’s the trick, isn’t it?
RDJ is actually very well spoken, you can tell he's very good at reading and controlling the flow of conversation
Just wow
this is the best podcast/series of interviews I have ever heard. been a fan for a long time!
Great conversation.
This is such a great interview . Robert went so deep on explaning their relantionshio
He is a genius 😎 Love him!
Ohhh man, love you and i love Susan ❤
These are awesome and have made my day, thank you thank you thank you!!!!
I have no real interest in Robert at all, but this started on autoplay, and I'm glad i watched it. His description of holding your space is awesome.
how did i miss this interview? have been a huge RDJ fan since Chaplin though I've seen his previous works afterwards.
So, cuddle not coddle? 🤣
Always. Please never coddle your partner. If you are a woman, one of the worst things for men to experience is coddling from his partner. We don't need to be coddled.
exactly
Wow, i had no idea that he was so well spoken
AS A COMPLETELY STRAIGHT MALE, I LOVE THIS MAN.
Please interview Tom Holland, that would be incredible. Especially after the intense movie Cherry he is filming right now
Great intervju again love your way ....respectful and truly curius thanks!
*In T'challa voice get this man an Oscar*
Can I love this 5,000,000 times?
OMG, i have a space between my front teeth! I feel so valid :')
same
Beautiful interview! 💞😊💞
We love you RDJ !!! God bless!!!
Robert and susan are very good sailors
Dang. That’s wisdom.