That happens when your malnourished Either shower when you're around others, or others may very well PICK YOU UP and PUT you in the shower, and then give you a GI bath! When you STINK, you CAN actually make others SICK to the point of PUKING 🤮 😡👎 Don't jeopardize others' health Either shower when you're around others or people may pick you up and forcefully put you in there, and give you a GI bath 👎
When I was an aide in an early dementia unit, I learned a few things that are helping me in my own life as I age. Music activates a different part of the brain than speech and I would sing Take Me Out to the Ball Game with them - I found they often could not understand yet knew all the words to the song. I was able to bathe and dress them for bed. At bedtime, we would lay out fresh clothes and undies for the morning. Often I would sing them all the way to the dining room and back to their rooms.
Yes…experts say….music recognition is basically last thing to go. If it ever goes. With my dad, it was 1950's black and white tv shows and sports from that era. It was comforting to him. iPads and YT, nothing better.
Sometimes, it can be helpful to have two carers to assist with bathing, rather than just one, if that’s possible. It worked for me when all else failed.
Looked it up because they do it right….what do they do in Japan? Sure enough, they got this. They make rituals of warm baths, walk in like you’d do in a natural pool or sea side. It’s just the bath, other fixtures are separate room entirely, separate activity, a bath is separate. Beautiful surroundings, no harsh lighting, beautiful sounds. And….they stole my idea. Thought ten years ago--there should be a bathing squad. They come twice a week and take over duties. They respect and comfort the patient to make a ritual bathing experience, efficiently done. Japan does it. And, no wonder…oldest citizens, fastest growing population of 86 years old.
I am 76-year-old female and I hate to get in the shower the reasons are I am afraid of falls so I put it bathing chair I sit on I have bars in the shower and I turn on the heat when I shower; I get short of breath I get short of breath; but I keep on truckin I drink it can a mountain dew and I shower once a week;; hand wash during the week;; under my arms and so forth;; this is life and it's my way of staying fresh and clean with no orders; take it or leave it;; it's just my way Joanne😅😂
Thanks for sharing Joanne. Whatever works for you, as long as you are safe. Sorry you get out of breath, but it sounds like you are doing the best you can. Just stay safe. Make sure you have non-slip stickies in your shower and a non-slip mat to step on as well.
If standing in the shower is what you're doing, maybe placing a seat in there (a safe one) can help to make it less exhausting? Placing an extended shower head onto the wall next to the seat is also a great way to just sit, relax and shower.
Just be careful still spot a person, mom 90 it's scary barely any room in tub with chair in there,then out leg over tub to get in,we put a rail,and still hold on the her,use easy rinse off soap,prepare,it helps to put things out,once in there,they don't want to get out
We should all try--- just to judge. Try a walker in the shower stall. Walkers are genius, the design and sturdiness, built to last and much more versatile than we give them credit for. Try it sideways, try it backwards. Instead of having the bar in front, back into the space, the crossbar is now behind the bather. If it feels slippery, put some dollar store rubberized shelf paper down, for bather's feet, as well as legs of the walker. Shower seats do nothing for me, knees hurt, getting up hurts, not worth the effort. If your shower area is large enough, keep the walker right there, keep it standing will stabilize the bather's getting in. Look around in the kiddies section, a kiddie swim vest, even the puffy arm bands would give a sense of security. Use a simple scarf tie or belt on the shower curtain pole. The overhead pole on a bus has a metal loop to gang on to. Use a scarf to hang on to. When you determine it’s helpful, immediately go to something sturdy and permanent.
@@josefinagarza241 Sounds divine, once over the hard part. There are thick rubber thresholds, not cheap, but a one time purchase. Lifting the foot is a major deal, knees hurt. We need innovation. The transfer chairs look good. Sturdy yet lightweight. Maybe don’t take it all the way in the shower stall. Sit nearby for the drain, use handheld shower device. The problem is stepping. Slippery feeling, unstable is scary. Find a great chair with arms. Take it close to the shower stall. Work with things gradually, over days, get input from the bather about what comes next. We can’t find things in catalogs because It doesn’t exist. It’s a homemade project, safety grips, wooden rails that hold ADA rail below, against the inside length, the purpose is to slide the hand along, don’t lift the hand for safety and stability. Anyone with a handicap knows…what is called accessible is often very poor. We need to give hotels and meeting places feedback. It’s all simple and inexpensive, but others need to be educated about what does and doesn’t work.
Bettie Grimes here. I'm 81yr old and i absolutely hate to showering. Its exhausting for me. I dread the feeling of the water on my skin. 1 to 2 times a week is fine.
82 - broke arms and wrists 9 times. Have had dislocations as well. Cut my arm into my bone, interesting to see our yellowish cells much like salmon caviar, and bone is like uncooked chicken bones with red veins running everywhere. REPLACED knee - went great - replaced shoulder - results in my not being able to raise my arm. Chipped a bone on my elbow - and dislocated other elbow. Concussions - seven. Yes, deathly afraid of slippery hard surface. I am afraid of my hip breaking from a fall and that will do me in. My mind is okay, I think. Use tons of toilet paper. Wash under arms and private area daily. I still fall as I don't have proper balance.
The fear of falling is rational. I've been sitting on a chair in the shower for decades. I couldn't afford a stupid injury. It's also a very relaxing way to take a shower. I live in South East Asia, one of the more common ways to die here, not just seniors, is slipping in the shower. Caution and rational phobia comes with experience. If you live near a beach where the weather is nice you can avoid bathing completely.
Wow, with all those incidents and still falling it seems you may be a very strong candidate for 24 hour supervision and/or a wheelchair. Otherwise, a hip fracture may just be something you won't avoid. I would certainly strongly recommend that you speak with an geriatric care manager who can help you figure ou who the best people are to call to help.
@@camlacasse3760. I’m DO SORRY!! Do u have family that can help u shower once a wk. or every 2 wks?? Or, if u are U are in the low income bracket, can can have a care giver come in and bath u!! This comps for charges nothing. And they also clean your home, if u can’t do it. And if u are are well off financially, u can hire someone to help bath or shower.
A bidet is the best answer! It’s perfect for the non-showering/bathing days. Definitely worth investing in. It’s less expensive than other options and doesn’t take up your energy to use. I was surprised to not hear this as a helpful option.
Not sure if you mentioned fear of falling. This is very common in the elderly and a major reason my mother refused to shower, despite repeated entreaties from me, her caregiver. There were many safeguards in place. We even got a shower chair, but then she became focused on the difficulty getting up from the seated position, despite help. Looking back now as I age, I can understand how vulnerable she must have felt.
Yes,I do believe I mentioned falling because that, I think, is the most common. I just ordered some shower stickies for my shower floor because I'm noticing that as I exit the shower it just feels a bit slippery. That fear of falling is so very real. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you. As a 67-year-old woman with many chronic diseases, I have difficulty with some of my ADL's. I live with my only child and her family, and I am afraid that if I reveal that I need help of any kind that she will place me in a nursing home. I am a retired nurse and have worked my nearly 30-year career in ER's and nursing homes. I've seen families drop off their older family members in the ER and leave them, refusing to come and get them. In nursing homes, I've seen the neglect, not only from staff but family members that refuse to come visit them, leaving the resident heartbroken. I've had two great aunts that were tricked into going to a nursing facility for rehab only to find that their homes were sold and all that they had was gone and that the nursing home was now their final home. They gave up and died within 3 months. It's scary when you have your good mind, but your body is rapidly declining. Thank you for the baby wipe trick and the not having to bathe as often. I have trouble in that department at times.
I'm so sorry, and I really sympathise with your predicament. However I too am a former nurse, and I would never condemn families for being unable to care for relatives with severe dementia or disabilities. I have never seen a nursing home resident who didn't need to be there. I take it you're not in the UK ? Because nobody here could be 'tricked' into having their home sold without their permission. I know this also from personal experience. My mother is in a nursing home, and I'm quite rightly, having to jump through SO many hoops in order to sell her house. One being the lawyers requiring proof of her mental and physical incapacity from the doctors, and my having to provide legal proof of permission for me to act on her behalf. I wish you good health & all the best .
I am sorry you are in the position you are in but please do not let your fear of what MIGHT happen get in the way of not being truthful with your family. Truth is, if you are having difficulty with some of your ADL's now, without some help from others, those difficulties will only become bigger problems. And then, your family may be forced to do something they do not want to do. If you want to keep your independence, then get the help from a physical and/or occupational therapist to help you keep that independence.
I'm almost 69, thank God I'm in good health but I live alone and I'm afraid of ending my days in some horrible place, no more able to look after myself.
I am over 70 and have mobility problems but I shower usually twice a week, in hot weather more when possible, it is difficult for me and I am afraid of slipping so I have aqua non slip shoes and a seat in the shower, it is difficult getting in and out because I can't stand for long and have a tremor in my legs but I manage by grabbing onto pipes on wall etc then sit quickly on toilet to dry myself. I use an empty washing up bottle filled with water from the sink and a bar of sanex soap to wash my privates every day in the morning after using the toilet and before bed. It works well to freshen up . I don't think I smell and I know when i really do need a shower and a shampoo .I wear clean underwear every day and fresh clothes., I use tena pads for leaks. It is horrible getting older and I don't want to smell.
Well, I do agree that growing older is not for the faint of heart. It takes emotional strength and courage so please acknowledge that you have those. Thank you so much for sharing all your tips and hopefully it can help others.
Bless you ,a lovely lady I think .We all hate old age but keeping clean and fresh is the biggest challenge . Perfume is a grt boost and if you like it let it be known to family and friends that it's ur present of choice .Otherwise you will be getting candles and more candles , 😊
We sound a lot alike! I'm afraid of falling so I am very care getting in and out as I have no bars to grab on to! It takes me nearly an hour to bathe and wash my hair! I had the section bars but they are worthless! The don't stay!!
I on the other hand , love taking a shower . I am a senior citizen and love feeling Fresh. It's like all My worries and stress just goes away with the water. Bad energies and depression , whoosh ! Out it goes!! Makes me feel soooo good it Will sometimes be hard to keeping me from showering two and maybe three times a day when the weather is too hot. I have a very good feet pad that Will not let me Slip and two great safety handles within My reach so I am not scared of falling. Also wear My crocs to make it Better. The Best is the after feeling of being clean , Fresh, and without Bad vibes stuck to My body ,!!! 👍😄
Oh that is so great, I love your story. When I lived in South Florida taking at least one shower a day was needed, it was so hot and I felt like I just lived in a hot shower! Yech! So, I completely understand how you must feel. It sounds like you are taking all the precautions and I love Crocs!! Great idea to wear them in the shower.
Same here. I'm 70 and it's very hot where I live so it's normal here to have cold showers twice daily. When it's extra humid, I will have another (cold) shower before bedtime.
Oh my gosh! I’ve been down. I dread, dread taking a shower! I need help to find out why this is getting worse. Reading your post, plus the comments. Really seemed to make me feel better. Thank you
I agree, so many reasons why seniors don’t want to bathe in a shower or tub. Having osteoporosis in both hips can be very scary thinking there might be a fall. Especially when walking is already unstable. ✨Thank You for this helpful video. 😊
Ya. The bathroom is cold. And, I got in shower one time, I had two white big toes when I got in and a big black toe when I got out. No fan or heat lamp. Plus, afraid of falling. I don't want anything to break. Apartment here, wouldn't fix or buy anything. Ghetto senior apartment living. 62+ can't sleep at night the chick that just moved in above me is up making raucous all night and goes all day. I'd like some of that energy.
Here in UK many elderly people are afraid to use a shower or bath because of the cost it takes to heat the water. Electricity and gas prices are high and one elderly lady told me that she boils a kettle and uses the water to have a strip wash every day so that is how she keeps herself clean. These things are increasingly difficult for OAP’s trying to live on a State Pension.
Yes, I can certainly agree. Here in the U.S. it's difficult for the ones living in poverty as well. I know seniors who live only on their social security check of $1200.00 a month. With the cost of food and utilities and sometimes rent, it's simply not enough. It takes money to grow old.
Ms Darby, I’m a care worker for the elderly in the UK. From my experience, most native English people don’t mind strip wash, alternating full and top-and-tail and rarely shower. Some of those in ethnic minorities insist daily shower or strip wash up to twice a day. Our service-users’ mobility must not compromise their safety. We don’t bother the less mobile to shower but some demand us to do more than their fare share. June of London
Just give a hot towel wash like we do for a bed bath in hospital. Three towels , about 500mls of hot water for each towel,. Use some QV wash or similar, or some moisturiser, add a few drops of a calming aromatic oil. Just put the rolled towels in a bowl or plastic bag, add the water and just wash the body in bits. One towel for the face and upper torso, one towel for the legs and one for the back and groin. You don’t get wet, just like the hot towel you used. To get on some flights before meals. You only need to expose parts of the body at one time, so they don’t get too cold. Give it a try.
70 is much different than 80. At 70 I was still flying my little airplane. At 80 it’s a much steeper downhill slide. More difficult to shower, dress, prepare food, clean up, go out and thinking process is slower. At what point I will need more help is looming. Sympathies to all who have more diseases and injuries to manage.
Nothing, sponge baths are fine for most. It's just that some people like the running water on them. Some don't. As a friend of mine always says, I'll do me and you do you! Meaning just do what works best for you.
@@kfl611 Bath chairs are needed for me and so many others that are either elderly or just carrying too much weight. My daughter is in that situation and is only 57 but is afraid of falling in the shower. She has a bath chair and it really helps you feel secure.
Thank you for mentioning depression and the fact that this is one of it's physical manifestations. For the oldest among us any mental illness carries with it a huge stigma, absolutely huge
Oh, I think mental illness has a huge stigma attached to it no matter what age. It's ridiculous really. In my experience, older adults have a higher chance of developing anxiety and depression and of course it can easily manifest in physical symptoms. I do hope that I live long enough to see the medical community and society finally accept mental illnesses as easily as they accept physical ones.
@@SeniorSafetyAdvice UK We are really getting a handle on it over here compared to even 25 years ago which is great. Of course it's not perfect but when famous people talk about it it moves acceptance forward. And all my doctors have been fantastic
Yeah, isn't it funny how just having a famous person or family talking about something propels acceptance and changes society. Wish it didn't have to be that way.
It occurs to me that it is possible after death of spouse one might be distraught that he simply is not interested to groom self. No incentive, no motivation.....the emotion one goes through after death of spouse is incredible, and indescribable....
I'm bi polar one, late diagnosed, bc of my meds several years ago it zapped all my energy and made daily life hard, especially showers, but I powered through, I've done it all my life, but I hate Going w/o being clean, it's disgusting 🤢
NOTE: Meidcare will pay for an aide to come to the home for shower care, IF the persom is "homebound", meaning they can't leave the house on their own. Your physician doesn't have to order it. Call a visiting nursing nursing agency & they'll send a RN to assess your loved one & determine care needs. They'll ask a family member to be there for that visit. The agency's physician will write the order for Medicare & they'll interface with your doctor. You may also get assistance with medication administration, nursing or PT; whatever is necessary & you agree to. They can be a godsend. Great video, BTW.
Oh thank you so much for sharing your information, it's all great info and something I'm sure so many will appreciate. And thanks, glad you liked the video!!
I’m 92, all you say is soooo true, my daughter respects me and I do still do all I need to, I’m blessed, but for those who are not able this lady gives excellent advice,👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🤪🤩
Ohhh, thank you so much! I honestly get so many comments on this particular video and there are quite a few that are, well, let's say not so nice. So, I truly do appreciate your comment!! Thank you! I love that you feel blessed, but from what I hear in your comment, it sounds as if your daughter is blessed as well to have as her mother. Take care.
Yeah, I kinda agree with your dermatologist. But, as someone mentioned earlier, for people who are sedentary or bed bound or wheelchair bound, it may be necessary a bit more often to be part of a plan to help prevent pressure sores. Then again, it's certainly not going to prevent it by itself. Marketers really did a good job on selling the soap industry, didn't they?
my husband is wheelchair bound. He had a hip disarticulaton. Since his surgery 11 years ago he has never ever had sores. Because his tailbone does not allow him to sit on a chair or couch like a normal person. We had to have a cushion made for him. They imaged his bottom sitting on a cushion. The cushion looks like a bowl where his bone is and support his bottom and the area of his disarticulaton. I also massage his bottom every night when he goes to bed. We also bought a sleep number one air mattress. The cushion was covered by our insurance. They are expensive, but better then paying for treatment of pressure sores. People who are wheelchair bound can benefit from a custom made cushion. But unfortunately many have no idea that they can be made but of course expensive. My husband is on his fifth cushion and the last one ran the insurance company $4000 total. Cushions do need to be replaced.
I use a 3 drawer plastic unit on wheels in the bathroom. I wheel it conveniently, facing me when I am sitting on the toilet. Top drawer: different size wipes and deodorant under arm products. Have paper towel available too. Second drawer: incontinence pads. i favor Poise products. Third drawer: freshly washed under pants. This is very convenient and i have a waste basket near by. This helps on days that I do not shower.
Many of us don't have walk in showers. If you have the shower in the tub, like me, it can be very difficult and scary to have to lift yourself over the tub to even get in, especially if you have arthritis. I have a shower chair and a hand held shower head plus bars to hold onto and they help a lot.
You are right, not everyone has a walk in shower nor can they afford to replace what they do have with one. A shower chair is good and grab bars are also very good - you're doing the right thing. The only other option I can recommend is a shower bench. Something like this... www.rehabmart.com/product/ada-compliant-teak-seat-for-bathtubs-46573.html?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0ruyBhDuARIsANSZ3wqjDnRmwKDQ24ELqeA7rDiX0Y94Mb2im6AFV9PAhTur0ITvsxYqMc8aAocHEALw_wcB The beauty of this is that you don't have to step into the tub to get into it. You can sit down outside of the tub and then swing your legs over (if you can do that). I know it's not inexpensive but it may be something that can help you as you grow older. Goodness knows we can all use tools to help make ourselves safer!
@@SeniorSafetyAdviceThis bench is $545.00. Far too expensive and the shower curtain cannot be pulled past it to keep water off floor! Not the best suggestion!
Hand held shower flexible,,and inexpensive..heads are perfect for those of us who have advanced arthritis and osteoarthritis. Grab bars to get in and out.,still standing, then simply wash with flex shower. Solves my limited ability issues 👍🏻
I wonder if there's a bench that you could have on the outside (a second bench), maybe in a way where you can scoot to the other chair? IDK, maybe the distance is too far ☹️ But it could at least be helpful for drying and dressing....
My mom won’t shower or take bath for 2yrs! She claims she sponge bathes but she don’t. She use to use diaper wipes but that isn’t enough and now she don’t really use that anymore. The nurses say she should bathe once a week because she has gotten septic from cellulitis; So yes, you do have to bathe to get rid of bad bacteria. Elderly also can get very dry flaky skin and that too builds up. So if they don’t bath they are at more risk of infections like cellulitis, UTI, fungal and so on. Many elderly with dementia think they showered recently or they sponge bathed and they did not. My mom refuses to use a shower chair because she claims she can’t bathe that way and it’s more of hazard. When I try to get her to stand and hold the rail she comes up that she’ll fall or her wrist hurts so she can’t shower. It’s a cycle when you say one thing they keep turning it and twisting it so they have a reason to not shower or they go off into another subject. Even the OT and nurse that would come tried and she would refuse. Over the last few years they only got her to shower 4 times. You can’t reason with someone whose mind is not functioning properly anymore.
Yes, it's very true. There is no reasoning with someone who has a malfunctioning set of circuits. That's just the reality of it. I am sorry you are dealing with this issue and there certainly are times that nothing works and you just have to take it for what it is. But, calling in another Occupational Therapist or nursing assistant may help. Sometimes, soothing music and a very warm room is very helpful. A sponge bath does not have to be done in a bathroom, if she's more comfortable in her bedroom, it may be easier to do a short sponge bath there.
We have many patients who for whatever reason can’t or won’t get into the shower, even younger ones. We just give them a good bed bath which I’ve outlined in my comment , if you can find it. The skin gets a bit of a scrub and moisturise at the same time. Remember to clean the feet and between the toes well. Use wet wipes in the toilet but don’t flush. Good luck.
I'm 71, and I have just gotten to the age where it is utterly terrifying to try to take a shower. A bath is much better. Put a chair in the tub so I can sit on it and finish my bathing, and can get out -- that is everything. But trying to stand up and take a shower is utterly terrifying. I am so terrified of slipping!
Hi Tabby, Thank you for sharing....we all have much to share with one another in getting through this human life without an owners manual... My mother, Blanche, lived to 94. Although in generally good health she did struggle with dementia. She did not like to take a shower/bath & was very modest. One day after nicely telling her how much better she would feel and that she would also be nice and warm, (she was very cold all the time), I took off all my clothes, turned on the bath water, added her chair with a towel on top of the chair since it was hard. I made it all a respectable game of sorts. In we went. I also had her sit on her chair with her back to the shower. At that point I gently began a light spray at the base of her spine as to not shock her with the water. I checked with her on the temp and then went very slowly up her back with my other hand on her back for security. Before long she was cooing with the warmth, suds up and I even washed her hair. I gave her a dry facecloth to insure no soap got into her eyes. I also had a tiny heater in the bathroom for her. God bless her. I wish she were here now to take a shower with. Sorry for the run on sentences here. Good luck to all of you who take care of family or loved ones. Don't forget to care for yourself. It is an act of love which they appreciate whether they show it or not. Blessings to all.
I was raised washing ourselves after no 1 and no 2, thoroughly. So, always feeling good about private part. Once a week long shower or bathing, washing my hair too. If sweating or getting dirty, yes, either shower or towel wash. I had oily skin, so, for many years I had to shower or bathe n wash my hair, every 5 days. Now, at 79, my skin is not that oily, so, weekly long shower, n towel wash under arms in between. I love to smell good, and feel clean specially in private part. I don't understand how can anyone live with dirty under pants!!! Thank you for this informative video.
Your parents did great teaching you all of that. Not everyone does, believe me. And I think for the most part, the individuals who tolerate dirty under pants are in a state of dementia or other cognitive decline. It's not that they intend to do that and honestly, if their brain was functioning as it once did, they probably would be horrified. But, that's what a cognitive decline does, it strips you of reasoning and judgement (which are usually the first to go).
I go to my parents'house twice a day, just so I can get my mum to change her Adult diaper in the morning and before going to bed. I manage to give her A shower every 3 days ,and she always says "why do I have to change my underwear, why do I have to shower?"but as soon as I hold out my hand to guide her to the bathroom "where are we going?", she's fine. She was always so particular about being clean and wearing lipstick.
Glad I saw this. I'm 76. I shower weekly and wash my hair. Every day I take a sink bath, of course clean under clothes every day. I can't figure out what made me change from bath or shower every night.I like being clean some times in summer one really hot days I would sometimes shower twice a weel. I grew up where a bath once
Thanks so much for sharing. Yes, many older adults, my mother included grew up showering about twice a week or so. Summer of course was more often and also depending on what they did that day. But of course, clean clothes and underwear - absolutely! Sponge baths, or whatever you want to call them are a great alternative. It's just very important to keep your privates as clean as possible. That's the most important part.
My mother in law is in an assisted living facility. They couldn't get her to shower. Her daughter told them to bribe her with a beer! It worked with a 4 oz.
It is hot and humid where I live so I always take 2 cold showers daily. If I am extra sweaty, I will take another cold shower before bed. I am 70 years old and hope I will not forget to take daily showers as I get older.
I have very fragile skin. There is always an area that is irritated. My doctor told me not to bath every day. Every 2 to 4 days is fine. If I get sweaty I will take a quick shower. For some reason, about 20 years ago, I began to hate taking showers and I think it was depression. I would go nearly 2 weeks without bathing and then go at it very quickly. Now I am 75 and I shower about 3 times a week and wash my hair once a week. On cold wet days, I dred taking a shower. I have learned to rely on baby wipes to keep my private area free of odor between shower days. I do take quick showers to cool off in the summer. I don't feel depressed anymore so I tend to shower more regularly.
Thanks so much for sharing your information. Depression certainly does play a big part in difficulties with showering. I went through that right after my husband died, so I get it.
My father had to have a bed bath for almost the last year of his life. I made sure he smelled good as the one thing i didn't want in his home was it to smell like a nursing home 😊
I did same for my Husband & Mum as once worked in Nursing Homes know exactly what you mean. Made sure they were always clean fresh smelt nice it wasn't easy as both couldn't walk. I was their full time Carer was a lot of work but well worth it loved looking after them. Miss them both so much ❤❤ it was an honour to have them at home with me till they passed. My biggest regret is that I couldn't look after my wonderful Dad he passed in hospital ❤
@@jangriffin-fi1yx yes it was hard as dad was bedridden, too. It was a difficult 4-1/2 years as he had 6 children and I was the main caregiver. Some seemed forgotten him when he could no longer do. Sad. Even relationships were changed. Now my mother had alzheimer and we are trying to keep her at home as long as possible. Yet this seems harder. Dad had a stroke.
Thank you for your advice. I will be 80 this year and you clarified lot of changes that I find myself going through! I will tell my daughter about your program. I think she will be interested in getting tips from you, as I may need her assistance in the near future. I live alone now, however I see more help she will be giving me! 🥰
Oh thank you! And I applaud your foresight in understanding that we all need a little bit of help every now and then. I am almost 66 years old and I am already thinking of my options as I grow older. I think its the true spirit of independnce when you take charge! If I can help you or your daughter, please let me know!
Helpful video. Not dependent on others to take care of myself (yet!) but I do recognize that taking a shower has become a CHORE, not just something I used to do without even thinking about it. Have to schedule a bit of a nap after a shower because it does wear me out.
When I had Aunt Dot living here, she washed daily, and showered weekly. She grew up taking a weekly bath on the farm, BUT they washed daily. That is enough. I have taken up the habit, actually washing after I use the toilet nearly every time. What a difference! TP just does not keep you clean......
Oh absolutely, TP does NOT get you clean or keep you clean, for sure. Lots of folks use wipes but the problem with those is that even though it may be labeled as "flushable" they really aren't. That's why a bidet is such a great tool to have in the home. I do hope that someday they become as popular here in the U.S. as they are in Europe. And my mother also followed that same routine. Washed daily, showered weekly. That really is enough. Thanks for sharing.
I have a Happy Po bidet - got it for travel, but now use it at home all the time. Inexpensive and effective. I’ve thought of getting a heated bidet installed, but I have no experience with installed bidets and am not sure I will like the aiming ability of them.
Where I'm from, everybody uses water after every toilet visit. We do have toilet paper but mostly used for drying. When I was taking care of my mother who was bedridden, I will wipe her private areas including buttocks with toilet paper (for nappy change after urinating or defacating) then clean with soap, wipe with wet towel and finishing off with dry towel. She passed at 91 and I miss her
Because of extreme dry skin, I was told by a dermatologist to only shower every other day I’m 83 and this works very well I’m cle@n with my body and clothes and dont mind taking a shower when that other day comes around. Love smelling good!
Would it help to put your (fresh) towels and clothes in the dryer? Get it prepped and warm for when you come out? If course, it will cool off, but if you keep it bundle on the bed, or solid surface that's close, and put another towel/pillow/blanket on top so it stays as warm as possible. Being cold isn't fun, esp if you get wet then cold, brrr! Not related to the shower, but I needed a heating pad for pain. I found a heating pad for massage tables! It works so much better than the mattress heating pad (the kind that's like a sheet, but has heat elements in it). I got that for our first house because it was soooo cold. But it died unevenly, too quickly. I've been using the massage table heater for many, many years without issues. It is under a mattress pad, sheets, blanket, and quilt. Just sharing in case it helps🤗
Disposable wipes and rinse-free bath sponges/cloths are game changers. Helps with hygiene and with independence. Good for self-esteem of an elderly loved one.
Absolutely agree! Yes, those disposable wipes are the best. There are even quite a few no-rinse types of body wash and shampoos as well. amzn.to/3WSpqlA
If you can see my comment above. It might help care for your elder person. My grandmother wasn’t able to bath or shower for many years because she couldn’t get over the bath side. She had just a bird bath at the sink. She did smell and her skin was good. Don’t stress too much. 🙏🏻
My mother was bathing once a week. She was devout and wanted God to take her. She was tired at 86. I also believe she was depressed. When she refused one week I asked her if she wanted to meet her maker being stinky. I suppose it sounds cruel, but, she bathed regularly until the day she died. I miss her!
My parents are 96 and showering is exhausting, but they never smell bad. It’s teenagers who are oily and ripe with hormonal sweat - or maybe I’m losing my sense of smell early.
Oops Ive gone 6-7 months not showering. Though if im still living in my mini van this summer, ill be glad to take more frequent showers. I hate summer arghhhh Federal gov needs to address senior housing.
If you are willing to move (to another state or location) you may want to call caring.com at 800-558-0653 to ask for information on senior housing options for low income seniors. They are certainly out there, you just have to hunt for them and you have to be willing to move to where they are. I have a friend of mine who was in your situation and he ended up moving to Hendersonville, NC (he was in Colorado). So, if you're able and willing to make the change, give them a call.
We need to stop waiting for the government who clearly wants us gone, and put our intentions toward good people giving the space they can to take us on. Maybe a trailer on their property, renting out camping areas with shower access. Something more humane than us living in cars, not being able to have a place to shower. I'm still hanging in, but my rent is 65% of my income. I'm living on credit, for now. I'll keep you in my prayers.
where I live summer is very humid, and broiling hot, so I bathe twice a day, once in the morning to get ready for the day, and at night to get cooled off enough to sleep. In winter once in the morning is sufficient. I have very oily skin and the humidity just makes it that much more miserable.(Electric bill goes into orbit in summer, too, running the AC at full blast all day). I used to think that the heat wouldn't be so bad as I aged, but if anything it's getting worse. A year ago I was injured in a fall and had to make-do on "bird-baths", and it was miserable a long with the pain. When I was finally up to bathing again, it felt like paradise. Baby Boomer here, but I have had people much younger sit down near me on the bus who smelled like they must have slept in a dumpster the previous night.
Since becoming partially paralyzed in both legs, I've had MAJOR problems with taking a shower. Cannot take a bath because of not being able to get in or out of the tub. I have a shower chair with a soft bathmat on the bottom of the bathtub. I'm also temporarily in a wheelchair, which makes things easier, actually, vs. the walker, if you can believe that. Anywho, yes, I bath once every week unless I have an "accident" or something. I'm extremely sedentary, only leaving he house to go to Church on Sundays. I'm the pianist there. I go outside rarely, if at all. My clothing is clean, so I focus on that more than anything else. It's painful & takes me THREE HOURS to get a sit-down shower. So there's that. So much time. It's also extremely dangerous. I've hurt myself severely trying to get a shower, so I'm rather reluctant to get one. I have to be SO very careful. Every move I make could be fatal. I also have major blood-flow issues in both of my lower legs. I can't afford for my lower legs to touch anything. Even trying to towel off is dangerous as I can easily tear my skin. I have to pat myself dry. Just getting dressed is challenging. I have to move slow & very carefully. It's hard to do my hair as well. I haven't been able to find a suitable hair stylist in I couldn't tell you how long. Thankfully, our favorite hair stylist has come back after spending a few years raising her little ones. So, I'm VERY excited! My hair is so long & I just can't deal with trying to put it up anymore. I'll be SO happy when I get to get my hair cut & styled!!! I can't WAIT! Also, I use baby wipes instead of toilet paper. Huggies baby wipes are flushable. They have never stopped up any of our toilets. Just make sure to flush for every 3 wipes you use. They are a tremendous help in keeping oneself clean at all times. Anywho, yes, I used to sit back in abject HORROR upon finding out my parents, (before they passed away) took a shower every two weeks! But now I KNOW how they felt. Getting a shower has to be the most dangerous part of an older person's day. It's just not worth the risk. So, thank you so much for posting this for those who haven't managed to achieve their golden years yet in explaining why it is their elderly loved one doesn't want to bathe.
Oh thank you for the kudos and thank you for sharing your experience, @deeannray5093. It sounds like you have a lot of challenges to manage, and it's understandable why showering can be so difficult and dangerous for you. It does sound as if you are doing the very best that you can. Just a thought, if you haven't yet had an Occupational Therapist come to your home for an assessment. It may help to have someone with experience to look at your situation to see if there is an alternative way for you to shower. It certainly wouldn't hurt. Otherwise, I am very glad that you are getting out to church and to get your hair done (hooray!). Thank you again for sharing your story!
As a senior citizen who was paralyzed from the neck down on right side (fully recovered) showers are dangerous due to balance problems. Baths are also dangerous due to having to step over.
I can understand that. Glad that you recovered and also proud of you for recognizing that shower stalls and bathtubs can be hazardous. I wonder if a walk in tub could help you in any way?
I understand. I'm 79, and I hate (always have) getting wet. For starters. Also, (and this occured when early 60's). - sometimes a pleasantly warm/hot (not a steam bath) shower creates enough humidity/light steam that I feel faint, black out. Many times had to turn off water, grab robe, and try to fall on bed before blacking out. Scary when alone. So - though I do shower when feel ok, usually sponge bath daily. No way bathtub. When my dad was in Veterans home, someone would wash him. Then dump clean warm water over his head, towels on floor. Dad never complIained, but I'd have had a hissy if any water got dumped over me!!!! It must be horrible to not be able to do for yourself, and at the mercy and patience of others. The future concerning showers looks bleak. I do have a medic alert button I hang by the shower, just in case.
I certainly would address the issue of blacking out from humidity with your doctor! Another option also is a voice activated device in the bathroom. Like an Alexa device. What if you can't reach the medical alert device? Just using your voice to call for help can be very useful. seniorsafetyadvice.com/can-alexa-call-911-using-amazon-echo-for-emergencies/
Linda, the official term does come to mind, but there is a diagnosis for a person who does not like getting wet. One of my grandkids ( adult ) has this problem. On Google type in something about hating to get wet, to see what it says. It may be a form of autism. I thought it might help explain “ yourself to yourself “. It is fun to understand our quirks.
I use perineal no rinse cleanser for mom for all her body. Then I use a non-rinse shampoo for her hair. Towel dry, and wah-lah, she feels better and smells wonderful!, I use cream under arm deodorant because there is no tugging on tender skin. We are installing a warm water bidet and look forward to keeping her cleaner. Thank you for "not stressing out", You rock!
Oh thank you! And what a great process you have, I love it! I looked up the products you mentioned and here are the links to them, maybe not the same brands but the same kind of products. What great tips, thank you so much! Your mom is so fortunate to have you! Perineal no rinse cleaner - amzn.to/3RZLut7 Non-rinse shampoo - amzn.to/3zJXEzG Cream deodorant - amzn.to/3LhCr2W
This was a very interesting video and you have delivered the suggestions and information in a very articulate, respectful and sensitive manner. I am new to working in home and community care and I have now learned some great tips thanks to you, so thank you kindly, best wishes from Australia.
Thank you very much! Again, just thank for your very kind words! I do think your clients / patients will be so very grateful for your services! Best of luck to you!!
Thank you so very much, dear, for making this video!!! I am my caregiver at my house! My husband passed away on October 21, so it’s just me myself and I I guess!! Plus I got to work in a nursing home years ago, which is helpful to use that knowledge now, and any other knowledge that I learn or pick up, such as yours… You were mentioning about the shower and having a device to put in the shower, so if you fall… I have Lifeline now, which you may be familiar with that. I wear around my neck and charge every day… But it is designed to wear into the shower around my neck, so if I fell in the shower, it would contact the emergency 911… It is great, because it doesn’t matter if the water comes down on it!! Etc. just thought I would mention that to you here, though you may have already had that told you many times… I see you made this four years ago I guess, though it says three years ago, but you mentioned the year 2020… You had some really good points/ideas/advice… I may come and watch your video again, and may comment or two again… But thank you again very much!!! Love, Sister Gay Michaelis(and Brother Duane Michaelis in the spirit world) and family… have you found the gospel of Jesus Christ yet?!? You need to, because we are in the last days!!! ❤️🤟🙏👌🇺🇸🌼😇😊🏡🤗🥰😄😎🌺
Thank you so much for your comment and sharing your story! My husband also passed away, but it was 9 years ago. It took me many years to adjust to this new lifestyle, so I understand. I am sorry for your loss. Lifeline is a great product and I'm so very glad they created a waterproof version! I do hope that you find some peace and purpose in these "last days" as you put it. I personally don't think of them as "last days", but I do certainly acknowledge that I am on the downhill slide so I do my best to make each moment of each day purposeful and meaningful. I don't waste too much time anymore. Again, thank you so very much!
So nice to hear you point out the marketing angle on appropriate hygiene. Like adding rinse and repeat on the shampoo instructions when really, once is enough. They really sold extreme hygiene - and are still selling it, hard. I'm 72 and have scheduled myself for once per week, but if i do gardening I always shower when i come in because reasons...
Yeah, it's quite amazing how marketing affects our decisions and then generation after generation, it just becomes part of the norm. Reminds me of the story of a husband who always saw his wife cut the ends of a roast before she baked it. He asked her why did she do that and she said that's how she was taught, her mother always did that. So, later the wife asked her mother why does she cut the ends of the roast before baking and the mother said, because it otherwise would not fit in the pan! It's so easy to just do what we've always done without questioning.
I become disoriented in the shower. On a good day, I can get into the bathtub, but am more comfortable washing at the sink. I lived in the wilderness when I was younger & it's possible to do a thorough job ! There's also the energy factor to consider !
Oh yes, the energy factor is an issue, for sure! And one that I think is overlooked in most cases. When my mom-in-law was in her 90's she had to take a nap after she showered. It was exhausting for her. Lived in the wilderness?!!! Wow. I bet you have some stories to tell.
I have had a fall, and taking showers is frightening ( fx hip) I have a helper who comes twice a week just to be here as I climb into the shower. Modesty is maintained as well as possible as she prepares the water temp and clean towels . I also have Life Alert as I live alone. Your article q most helpful and thank you for caring.. We are still valuable but for a bit of frailties c age.. Course we're still adorable and talented.
I hate showering after having baths all my life. I get very cold and can’t afford to heat the bathroom sufficiently for when I step out of the shower (the baths warmed the room). I can cope if I use my bidet to sit and wash different parts of my body daily. We are not having a summer this year in the UK so no respite from being cold yet 😕
@@janetstanland2015 really sorry Janet, I’m afraid I live in Corfu so it’s starting to get really hot now …I’m not being insensitive to your situation but is it not getting warmer in the UK now?
@@janetstanland2015 As someone who lives in Canada I hear you! I live in one of the coldest cities in our country in a house that, come winter, leaves me shivering in layers of sweaters with icy hands and a running nose. That's about 7-8 months of the year and then we have 4-6 weeks with the other extreme ( this week we're sitting at 30+c in many parts of the country with alerts for seniors who live withhout air con.
@@joycekastamonitis2187 Climate change really is doing a number in some countries. The city I live in (in Canada) is reknowned for cold weather ... normally a -40c cold spell for 2-3 weeks every Jan/Feb, then -20c to -30c for another 4 -5 months etc and a short but hot and sunny summer, but in the past several years our seasons have become more extreme. We had a winter few years back where that -40c turned to -50c and it lasted 6 weeks (instead of the normal 2) and it snowed throughout. It normally does not snow here when it drops below -30c. Our hottest months usually include a week or so of 30+c weather but several years ago that started changing and we've had weeks of 30+, with one week where it sat at 35c -36c the entire week. Our extremes are becoming more extreme and unpredictable.
Water touching the skin is a definite stimulant and as you get older, especially with the temperature change in bathing. It becomes harder for the body to control tactile and temperature changes. And the responses to this change in the body can contribute to the resistance to bathing.
Yes, that's why it's always recommended to shower or bathe in a very warm room. But as some have said here, if it's TOO hot it can cause you to become dizzy or faint. Of course, stepping out of a shower or bath on a cold winter day is often uncomfortable for anyone!
What about elderly who use a diaper or have a unpleasant odor or refusing to change the diaper. My elderly parent is capable of using the bathroom but has become lazy and will just use the bathroom in her diaper vs getting up and going to the toilet, then we she does use the toilet, cleaning herself properly. It is for this reason we are asking her to take a shower more often to keep up with her hygiene. The shower has hand-rails and slip-resistant flooring as well as a place to sit. I'm pretty sure depression and low self esteem is a major issue.
Thank you for your question and if it does SEEM that depression may be a contributing factor to the problem that your elderly parent is having then I would strongly recommend that you bring this issue up with their physician. Fighting psychological problems is much more difficult than dealing with physical problems so it's not something that should be handled just by the family or caregiver. You need professional intervention in my opinion.
You need to physically help her have a shower . They don't know how to go about having one unless you're there step by step. They don't know how to adjust the water temperature. They don't know what or how to use soap. I tell my mum to come to the bathroom to change her "underwear" ( pull up adult diapers). I put the new one next to the sink and a plastic bag next to it. When she's in the bathroom, I tell her to change." Why?I just changed them" " Mum, that was this morning ". " Oh, okay".
My father in law hasn't bathed in years. It is awful. We got him a walk in shower. We got him a shower stool. My husband has offered to sit with him to make sure he does not fall. His sister has cried and pleaded with him. They have argued and fought and begged him to bathe. He won't. We are so frustrated.
Oh I am so sorry. I know it's difficult and in my experience there is just no battling stubborness. I do hope he is at least taking a sponge bath or something to keep clean. You can also speak to his doctor about the situation (although I assume you probably already have). You cannot force someone to do something, all you can do is let them live out the consequences of their decisions. If his body odor is so bad, then stop visiting him. Maybe that will spur him to do something about it. You know, a session with a social worker or counselor may help, mostly the family more than your father but it's worth a try.
@@kbaby24johnson it has been 10 years for us. 10 years!!!!! He is completely physically able. Just doesn't want to shower. We had to tell him this year that he can't be around our children if he chooses not to bathe. He decided he was ok with that.
@@jessefford9747 No, we got him body wipes, but he won't use those either. It has been 10 years since he has bathes, so he REALLY needs an actual shower with soap and water.
If you do not have a nonslip mat in shower, you can put down a hand towel or bath towel to prevent slipping. Bath chairs help. Wipes can be used daily to wash face and underarms. And even to wash all over iinbetween showers. Also many elderly cannot stand for along time. CNA can show you how to do a bath while invalid is bedridden with tub, of soap that does not have to be washed off and water and towel.
Great tips but I would caution about a hand or bath towel on the floor. Those are not anti-slip so I would certainly invest in an anti slip mat. It's easy enough to purchase one on Amazon if you can't get out to the store. amzn.to/4auhwUw Or at the very least, put an anti grip product under the towel.
I am in my late sixties, I have stopped showering every day since retiring, I am fully healthy, I walk most days, I don’t emit bad smells, I campaigned heavily for my elderly father not being showered any more frequently than every 3 days when round 90. He could even go longer than that. I myself am able to go several days & do so especially in winter. Frequent showering is overrated & unnecessary. Younger bodies have different needs. Let elderly people make their own choices! Of course support them in sensible ways & any ways required. Having a shower or bath regularly is a fitness activity & is useful from that perspective, it’s up the person’s daily activities they participate in, if that is a reason then they should do it, in my opinion.
I agree with you, it is very important to allow everyone to make their own decisions, as long as they are cognitively able to. The problem comes when someone has a cognitive issue such as dementia. Someone with illnesses that affect their reasoning and judgment need help and it's those folks that can be helped with the tips in this video. Otherwise, it's certainly up to each person to make their own decisions on how they care for themselves.
@@SeniorSafetyAdvice I very much doubt if a person with reasoning issues would benefit from tips about personal care in a video, they would need individual direct support especially from a family member who is not over the top about frequent bathing themselves.
I am 80. Hate showering, tiring, makes me feel unbalanced. I sit on a shower chair. I shower/shampoo when I know I have a doctor’s appointment or an outing with others. I live alone. I don’t even change my clothes daily. Sometimes I go up to a week living in the same nighty. I have constipation or diarrhea due to multiple diseases so am forced to clean up frequently anyway. I don’t like the feel of my hair when it isn’t clean but holding my hands over my head makes me tired and dizzy. I can’t ask my daughter for her help because she will suggest it’s time to move into a facility. I rarely see her as it is. Often only once a month to bring me my mail or packages. I live in her basement so we are separated only by a door and a floor.
It's sad that your daughter doesn't help you more. :( I don't shower often either. I have some of the same issues as you. My wife showers with me so she can wash my hair, because I get too fatigued if I try to reach my arms over my head for long enough to wash and condition my long hair. (It's a lot thinner than it used to be, though, so it is taking less and less time to wash now.) I go with washcloth and baby wipe touch-ups until my hair starts to feel too dirty, then find a day when I have enough energy to face a shower. You should be able to have someone come in once in a while just to help you with hair washing, at least, and not have that result in the threat of being moved, if that's all, or the main thing, you need help with.
I am sorry you are dealing with so many issues. I would say to keep even more problems at bay, consider replacing your toilet with a bidet. That can at least help to keep your private as clean as possible so you don't have to go through the problems associated with a UTI which are so very common among elderly and especially ones that don't shower or bath for longer periods of time. No sense in adding to your other health problems.
@@SeniorSafetyAdvice Bidet is a great idea, you can get one that fits onto your current toilet and if the hot water line to the sink is near enough you can hook it up for warm water. Your daughter should be able to get a plumber in to do that for you. She may want one for herself too! After all, she is likely to want to age in place in her home in the future!.
I’m a retired RN and worked in homecare for years. Once a week is pretty good unless incontinence is a problem. Then you deal with skin breakdown. My heart aches to this day for the folks who live alone or have no caregiver to help them.❤️
Oh yes, it's so difficult to grow old alone. Independence is great, truly. But, when you don't have someone to help you when you need it, well, it's heartbreaking as you say. Thanks so much for your comment.
Thanks so much for the comment and compliment! Glad you are finding the information useful. If you have any ideas on what you would like to see videos on, just let us know.
My husband just told me he is afraid of falling in the tub/shower, so I just bought a shower chair. He has yet to try it out. I already suggested a washcloth & basin of water. He is thinking about it. I dare not tell you how long it has been since his last shower! After watching your video, I hope the seat is not uncomfortable for him (hard). Very informative video.
Oh thank you. And I'm sorry you're going through this with your husband. Hopefully he will be okay with the shower chair. There is a padded chair available at amzn.to/3yyFReB. It holds up to 300 lbs. Otherwise, hopefully he will begin taking a sponge bath. At the very least for his private areas - that's where medical problems could begin.
I use a hard plastic shower chair since my hip replacement last year. I lay a hand towel or folded regular towel on the chair seat & don’t care if it gets wet while I shower. It’s not even so much for the padding as to keep from sitting on the cold chair. Then they get washed with rest of towels.
@@SeniorSafetyAdvice Thank you, but most shower chairs are too wide for my small tub/shower. I had to get one that would fit. I just ordered a Cobbe Filtered Shower Head (detachable with a 60" cord) to go with the new shower chair, but still don't know if he will use it!
A bidet toilet, bidet toilet seat, or even a water wand attached to the incoming water line of a toilet is a great way to address part of this need. If the elder needs assistance, they can be wearing a nightgown or robe for modesty while the helper sprays.
My significant other is 84 yrs old. He takes a shower every day and sometimes he is somewhat worn out when he comes downstairs. We live in florida and he has a small hand held fan to cool himself off. As relates to toilet paper vs. wipes... I buy and use witch hazel and drizzle on tp works like a charm
Yeah, showering can take a toll sometimes. If there isn't a bench in the shower stall you may consider putting one in. Witch hazel on toilet paper! I haven't heard of that one. Thanks for the tip.
ATIVAN OR XANAX, most elderly and some not so young have a fear of water on them, especially if they have alzheimers, in the later stages of alzheimer’s do not force to bathe or shower a person that doesn’t want to, it is very terrifying and traumatizing to them. If a elderly person needs ativan or xanax to shower they need assistance and the drug has to be in their system for at least an hour or more before attempting to get them in the shower ! Start the shower and shut the bathroom door to get the bathroom warm, turn up the heat and make sure they are dry and wrapped with a thick robe co i got out of the bathroom! I am a nurse that worked in an alzheimer’s unit and utility care of my mom who had alzheimer’s! GOD HELP OUR LOVED ONES WITH ALZHEIMERS!
Oh thank you so much for your information. Your experience, both professionally and personally are invaluable. I worked with Alzheimer's as well and yes, everything you just said is so very true. I'm sure it will be helpful for others who read this. Thank you.
I am a 66 year old retired ER nurse and I am so sorry to read these stories....My health issues are behind me since I started eating plant based in 2016 and I added ginger chews that relieved arthritic pain completely; I am on zero meds. I have a walk-in shower with a small-tiled floor for traction, a built-in seat, and a bar grip on the wall. What encourages me to step in is a comforting scented shower wash like Dove and warmed up towels (including a spa rug). When everything is warm and smells good, it makes the shower experience a spa treat instead of a chore.
Ah yes, thank you for sharing and for the great tips! I do all those same things as well and I'm 66 too. As a nurse I'm sure you are well aware of how difficult it can be to help someone with dementia to shower and care for themselves. I do hope that some of the tips in this video can help those family caregivers.
66 is young. I worked full time for two attotneys until I retired at 71 1/2, I didn't begin to slow down until shortly after my 86th birthday. In fact, went back to work at 75 taking care of patients who had dementia..
My mom wouldn't shower unless she was going to the Dr. So, we went to as many as I could dream up. Foot Dr. is great for elderly, hers had a medical pedicure technician for quarterly appointments. With twice a year GP and Heart Dr. she stayed clean enough. I also got a sitz bath for spot baths that helped. Tailbone cushions helped with all the sitting as she got less mobile.
My mom had dementia and one time an old man talked to her in the waiting room and she proceeded to tell him all about her sitz bath that morning. I was mortified, but it is funny now.
A loofa mat helps me prevent falls in the shower. When I broke my knee earlier in the year, I was terrified about falling and the shower seemed extra slippery. The loofa mat was a game-changer. Gotta remember to rinse it and let it dry between uses.
I am trying to help my 92y/o grandma to remember to wash up. She was always a very clean person her appearance was very important to her…so I promised her as she ages I will help her stay as much herself as possible. Does anyone have tips on how to help someone with beginning of memory issues remember to shower 1-2 a week? I was considering a private calendar for her bedroom to write on 🤷🏻♀️
A calendar can certainly help her if she remembers to use it. So, placing that calendar somewhere where she sees it often may help. Maybe the refrigerator door? An Alexa device can also help. You can set it up so that it will remind her to take a shower every day or whenever. Another idea is to associate the showering with another task that she does every day. Like brushing her teeth. Putting a reminder, like a note, in the area where she brushes her teeth may work.
Hi, I’m 70 and have been using a “shower” calendar for a few years now. When you’re retired sometimes the days just seem to roll together like one day. Also, make sure you have a wash-up and clean bed clothes every night.
My grandmother was in her early nineties when she refused to wash. She’d previously been fastidious about bathing daily. This turned to a daily sponge bath and massage with moisuriser and ice gel linament worked into her sore muscles and joints, which she thoroughly enjoyed . Eventually her dementia progressed and she believed she” had a very very very very good wash this morning”. It made me smile. Fortunately she didn’t get smelly, and was willing, usually, to change into clean clothes and let me brush her hair and clean her dentures. We would chat and laugh so she was pretty compliant with me.
Schedule a day or two a week with a senior to stand 😢outside the bath or shower door. From my experience, most are afraid of falling. Call it a spa day.
Absolutely! My mom-in-law lived in Florida by herself and I live in Georgia. So she would call me and I would stay on the phone while she showered. It made her feel safer and it made me feel good that I could help her in some way.
I hate showers, but I love baths. When I only have a shower I definitely bathe less often If I have a bathtub I will take a bath every day cuz it feels so good. Showers are a chore, baths are a pleasure. Great vid, very informative. Thank you.
It's so difficult isn't it? And it seems so strange to the rest of us but we have to remember that their cognitive skills just aren't what they used to be and certainly are not like ours. It takes pure patience and a ton of love!
Not all elderly people have daily access to a shower. My mother was in assisted living, and they were only allowed to use the communal shower twice a week, on a schedule. She had her own bathroom with a sink and toilet, so she could at least clean herself best she could between showers. Thanks for this video. Caregivers need all the help they can get.
That is true, there are assisted living facilities that use a communal shower and that means scheduled showers. My mom-in-law was in an assisted living but she had her own full bathroom in her room. Even with occasional showers, caregivers will still find it difficult to get some of those seniors into a shower, most especially if they are suffering from dementia. And you are right, caregivers, whether it's family or professional need all the help they can get!
My 94 year old grandmother with Dementia is a very prideful women. However, she is having a serious Body Odor issue. I work in the medical field so she tell me it’s because of my career that I can smell so well. Every time our family tries to approach her she argue with us. I really don’t know what to do.😢 I’m not giving up❤.
Some seniors with dementia lose their sense of smell (anosmia). She could have that. If she tends to wear the same outfit every day, maybe buy her several of the same things so that she's wearing something different (but looks the same) every day. That may help. Fear is a big issue with seniors who suffer from dementia and taking a shower or a bath is a multi-step process that just may seem overwhelming to her. Sometimes, telling her that there is a special dinner or outing that she needs to get ready and primped up for may prompt her to wash herself. Even if it's just a sponge bath. Arguing with her won't help, it only makes it worse. You basically have to "con" her into washing and caring for herself. At the end, if making the bathroom warmer and the shower experience as pleasant as you can has not helped, you can look to hire a professional aide who has experience with this issue. It won't be easy but it may be the best solution. I hope this helps.
I am a nurse's aid. Would never say this to my residents but my mom was a different story. I would say Mom you smell and social services is coming tomorrow to assess you if your not clean they will place you in a facility. So please let's get this done I don't want to put you in the nursing home if you're not bathing you will have to be placed in one and you will be bathed by total strangers maybe even a male aid. Or try the UTI approach tell them do you want to get a UTI because you will if you do not keep yourself clean. Also bribery works well too. I would bribe my mom with the real cup of coffee with caffeine and cake. The UTI thing is actually true.
Our neighborhood brought in a private water company where paying the expensive water bill after filling a bathtub daily became quite expensive. It is personally fine to bathe certain parts of the body while realizing it is critical to keep clean. No question getting dead skin flaked off by bathing is desirable.
My husband (84) doesn’t shower - he does wash at the sink, but that has been becoming less frequent. I hate it. He can’t get in the shower and has trouble with the shower chair - he can’t scoot enough to get under the shower. We’ve gotten “Skunky” wash pads - just get them wet and they get soapy. And no need to rinse , just towel dry.
Maybe an assessment from an aging in place specialist or an Occupational Therapist can help you and him to figure out a better way to set up the shower for him?
Maybe you can get a nice shower head that attaches to a long hose. This way if he can sit on the chair, you can use the hand held shower sprayer and get most of your body wet. Just a thought.
I replaced the shower head with a hand held shower head with a long hose. Easy-you just unscrew the old one and screw on the new one. Mine came with a hook that holds the shower head at the same height as the old one so it can used hands-free while standing (the same as always). I think it cost about $20. I bought a separate inexpensive suction cup bracket that I attached on the wall next to my shower seat. It swivels and moves up and down so I can adjust the spray wherever I want when I choose to use the shower head hands-free. I added a couple of suction cup hooks to hang my bath brushes on. I added a soap dish near at hand and a convenient way to hold my shampoo bottles while seated. I have three very sturdy rails that I can hold onto to help me get up and down from my bath seat and in and out of the tub. Sometimes I use a foot bath that has a scrubby texture on the bottom that helps me get my feet clean while I’m bathing. The hand held shower is also great for rinsing off the shower enclosure walls when cleaning the bathroom.
Just now ordered the Skunky to try for myself. Literally hate to bathe. I DO realize my bottom half needs cleaning, but……as I don’t feel comfortable asking anyone, I am wondering if my underarms are nasty ? Meaning, as we age, is underarm odor AS strong or NOT AS strong as in past years ? At any rate, looking forward to trying out the Skunky. Thank you very much for this suggestion. Hope not rinsing the soap off won’t hurt me !
Oh you are welcome, I hope the information helps. And yes, there are full body wipes that are rinse free! Here's a link to a hypoallergenic one - amzn.to/3V7Jf7y
Im a 65 year old woman with severe osteoarthritis. I live in my mini van because I have to . I finally just now joined Planet Fitness, mostly for the showers,plus a lil movement. Before joining, Ive gone 6-7 not showering. But i have a portable hand held bidet,i use lots of wipes, and i use wash clothes face and deodorant soap in a fast food bathroom. But the diamond discovery in changing my hygiene is ...i always despised my hair so fine and thin lack of body. Thats a lifetime showering and shampooing every day. I use baby piwder on my blonde and gray hair. It has given me more body, fuller a lil wave in this okd hair at last. When i do get a chance to shampoo and shower, i hate my flat lack of body though extremely shiney hair. It takes a week or so to get my new hair back.. Yes we dont need to over clean ourselves.
Thank you so much for your comment. Wow, seems like you are doing the very best you can in your situation. I agree, baby powder in the hair does make it fuller! I'm sure a lot of people don't know that so that's a great tip to share. And yes, I think that unless you are out sweating or working out - it's not necessary to literally shower every day. Of course, you do want to clean your private parts to avoid risking any infection. I'm sure that people living in hot humid climates shower more frequently than those living in colder, less humid areas. I think that's normal.
I have another tip to share. If your hair gets staticky,simply take 1 dryer sheet,and very lightly smooth it all over your hair or where the static is starting
Sitz bath tub over the toilet. I’m only 45 but have extreme fatigue at times and have found ways to bath using less energy. I like swinging my legs over the tub and like washing my feet if I’m too tired to bathe. Help them just wash feet! It’s so relaxing. You can get them to sit at the couch and just start with a foot tub. Lay towels on the bed and help them wash their upper body with wipes and no rinse foam.
Wow, sounds like you have a great routine set up there. So sorry you are dealing with so much fatigue at such a young age. Thank you very much for sharing your information.
Reading below, I see that so many have issues as grow older with mobility, etc. I'm fortunate in at 84, I can safely take a shower each evening. But, I do think about the possibilities of slipping in the tub when taking a shower. I know the time will come to take more precautions.
Well, truthfully, the time is now. I'm 66 and have already placed anti slip adhesives on my shower floor, I've installed a grab bar and a bench and a hand held shower head. As an Occupational Therapist, I saw SO MANY patients who simply waited too long to implement safety precautions and as a result, their lives were forever changed (and not for the better). So, why wait? Why wait for something to happen to take charge of your independence? Do all you can to be as safe as possible for as long as possible.
My family member hasn't bathed in, I'd guess, 10 months. The other part is he's an alcoholic and pee's on himself every night after he gets blackout drunk. He smells like absolute raw sewage. I've tried to reason with him, I've tried yelling. Nothing works. He won't get addiction help and he knows whenever i bring it up, to throw a tantrum and I'll avoid the topic. He's 61, barely eats as well, and I don't wanna spend his remaining time on this earth, arguing. The rest of the family has given up on him and I'm the last one. What can one do when an elderly family member has given up on life and refuses to get help? He won't go to the DR, he won't bathe, he barely eats, he won't do anything, but watch TV and drink alcohol. I'm open to suggestions anyone can give me?
I am so very sorry that you are going through this with your family member. It's hard to give you any advice because I have no idea if he has dementia or depression or what other issues besides alcoholism he is suffering from. But, what I can say is that the idea of changing someone is a futile endeavor. You cannot change anyone, they have to do it themselves. I would recommend that YOU find a counselor / therapist who can help you to deal with this situation and to find solutions that may work for you and your family member. You can also speak with a social worker or a geriatric care manager about what options may be available for him and for you. I do hope this was helpful.
YEARS Ago a shower in the average home was unknown. bath was the way to go. And that was usually only once a week, unless one was very dirty eg men who did heavy dirty . A sponge bath for private parts was acceptable. Babies and children were the exception, bathed daily. Remember heating water was expensive.
Skin sensitivity can change with brain issues. A shower of water sets off the survival fight or flight response. I use a washcloth with half water and half alcohol. Rinse with washcloths of just water. This is great care givers advice. Sometimes it is better for a not family member to be the care giver. They can fuss with a adult child.. we liked to have two people to ask them to do a task. Let them pick between two choices. Sometimes the care givers have a strict controling routine. You need not to take over but to enable the folks to do what they want to do or need done. Sometimes I just let them be outside to listen to the bird song. Sunshine is important for vitamin d and helps keep us happy. So many eders never get out side of their nurseing home room. Never get to go outside. I know because I was in a nursing home for two months . Medication made them have nightmares. No visitors. Same ole boreing room with no favorite colors. We need to have respite for care givers. Limit working hours.
All great insights and tips, thank you so very much! And I couldn't agree with you more. Caregivers have an exhausting, never ending job and there's never, ever enough of them for everyone. I worked in nursing homes for years and it was always a struggle.
A bathtub lift is the safest product for someone to use although it may not fit properly in a garden tub. If that is the case, the safest solution unfortunately is to avoid using the garden tub or replace it with a standard bathtub or a walk in tub. seniorsafetyadvice.com/products/bathroom/bathtub-lifts/
I’m 70 and shower sometimes 3 times a week depending on my activity for the week. However, I am also a caregiver for my 91 year old uncle which has its moments. I have offered to help him shower but that hasn’t happened. I am new at caregiving so I appreciate some the points you highlighted. He is a pleasant patient but he does have dementia and as of last year is using a wheelchair mostly. We have all the equipment to provide a safe environment, however I do believe it would be better if an outside person could come in to assist as I feel it is a modesty issue. My health is good. I have no problems showering. But my concern is regarding my uncle. Again, thank you for sharing your suggestions.
Oh you are so wonderful to be helping your uncle and I do hope that some of my suggestions help. Every person is so different. I think you may be right, an outside person may be a better fit to help him shower. Consider contacting a home health agency or even Hospice to see what kind of help they can provide. Many people think that Hospice is JUST for the last few days of your life but there's much more to it than that and the truth is, they can provide services for years sometimes so it never hurts to ask. Plus, it's all paid for by Medicare. Best of luck!
Was your uncle in the military? My Dad was and through them a bath aid would come and help him shower. We had a walk in shower installed. As his daughter, I felt it was important for my father's dignity to have some one else help him with that. I do wish we had a bidet installed and a better heater.
Well, I know it's hard, believe me. As an occupational therapist I've been hit and smacked by many elderly who fought me on taking a shower or bathing in any way. You just have to do your best and get professional help when you can. Best of luck.
I was thinking about how people took a bath once a week in the olden days. But they didn’t have medicine resistant staph, or flesh, eating bacteria in the home to deal with. Worse is seeing someone with body, fungus, resist cleanliness. This is what’s happening. I didn’t know. It was going to be like having a six year old in the house and one that fights me just because she used to boss me around!
No, sorry we don't have a facebook group. Have been considering starting one but there are so many groups on facebook about caregiving for seniors. I belong to two that may be helpful for you: Taking Care of Elderly Parents Parenting Aging Parents
My step Mother was used to sponge bathing once every week and she did that her whole life even though she had access to a shower. She was born in 1931during the depression and was raised on a farm. She also didn't believe in washing her clothes after every wear because it wore the fabric out more quickly. She always looked neat and tidy and took pride in how she looked. To each their own.
Absolutely. And isn't it interesting how the habits that we all used growing up, be it familial or environmental continue to shape our lives for the rest of our lives. It's fascinating really. Thank you so much for sharing.
This video was very useful. I have a reverse situation with my mil. She wants to bathe but I know she is not able to do it herself. Do you know of an available service, where we can take our elderly to have a good bath ? Is any company offering this service, bathing only ? And do you know if Medicare would cover such a cost ? TIA to anyone for any information provided !
I am not aware of any service where you can take someone to bathe. You can hire someone (a CNA - Certified Nursing Assistant or a home health aide) to come into your home to bathe your mother in law. If the trouble is getting in and out of the bathtub you can look into a tub lift which can help her to get in and out of the tub.
I bought a spray hose/nozzle that reaches from sink faucet to toilet with a diverter that acts as a bidet with hot & cold water mix so temp is always comfortable...purchased from Amazon and installed it myself. You may want to stress the importance of cleanliness to avoid a UTI that in the elderly can mimic mental confusion, anger, dementia etc. Often misdiagnosed in the elderly.
Oh absolutely - you are so right. And thank you so much for sharing your story and tip. Here's a link to a bidet sprayer that connects to the water pipe (not sure what it's called) for the toilet. It may not be exactly what this reader mentioned but it's a great idea! amzn.to/3WbyZM5
Bathing every day dries out your skin, it's not good for the skin - it's better to reduce bathing/showering to 1-2 times a week and use a washcloth for the "stinky areas" (if they really smelll bad).
Showering is not a necessity. My mother was disabled and I washed her thoroughly every morning, no soap on her face, and just a little cleanser for the body so as to prevent unnecessary drying of her skin which remained beautiful until her 103rd year. All her life she used face cream like Nivea. Whatever our age we need to keep clean after using the lavatory. Before bed 'top and tail' carried out easily in a couple of minutes. I like to wash in lukewarm water, never hot.
Well, medical science is backing you up on this. I found it so interesting that this habit of daily washing was not popular or "normal" until the mid 50's and into the 60's. There were several factors that influenced that and one of them was the growing consumer culture (post WWII). During this time marketing and advertising agencies grew like crazy and one of the products they made money on was personal care and hygiene products. Bottom line is unless the person has a medical condition where they need to shower every day (not sure what that might be though) or of course if they are outdoors sweating, getting dirty, etc. - then showering or bathing every day just is not necessary and may actually be harmful to the skin. So, you are right on track! Thanks for your comment. And wow, 103!! An amazing feat.
I'm 77 and have only ever showered/bathed weekly unless I'm dirty, as you say, from gardening or doing a deep house cleaning. However, I do take a washcloth and wash the nasty bits every day, change my underpants and incontinence pad after I wash. I have a step-in shower with hand grip bars and a slip proof floor. I imagine with my knees getting bad I'll need a bench, but so far so good.
Wow, sounds like you are doing all the right things. It's so refreshing to hear that and I applaud you! I would say to get a bench because I'm of the mindset of implementing safety before something happens. Only because I spent so many years caring for older adults who had a silly little accident that could have been prevented if they had just added a grab bar or bench or removed a rug. Why wait? I think the whole point of aging in place is to make the "place" as safe as possible so that you can age in place for as long as possible and as independently as possible.
Im 60 and my major health really impacts my home care. I get dizzy,(I have a chair for the shower),Im breathless,I have neuropathy in legs & feet,back pain from arthritis, tremors, heart issues. I dont go out in public because I have to drag my walker around.I dont even go in my yard. I have 5 different doctors. I get a real long shower. On Dr. appointment days. (Approximately once a week. ) The rest of the time is baby wipes. 60 years old, whats going to happen in 5 or 10 years. Ill probably be in an assisted living or nursing home. Right now not one person helps me. Except for shopping snd laundry. No one wants to take the time.
I know it's difficult growing older although 60 is really quite young, so I am sorry you are having so many issues at this stage. But with so many chronic illnesses you may want to consider a different living situation. If you haven't yet visited any assisted living facilities I would recommend to do so. I worked in some wonderful ones. Yes, it will require a move and maybe a move to another state to get to a good facility but your issues are chronic so you are right in thinking that it will most likely only get worse, not better. So, now is the time to take charge of your own health and take care of yourself. Too many people wait until they absolutely have to make a change and by then it's too late and it just turns into a whole big mess. Believe me, I've seen it a thousand times. Take care.
@nani.9754 Wow your life is complicated! 5 different doctors! Different conditions dragging at your heels. Does your walker have wheels? Some find those easier to use on flat surfaces and in public, maybe the two wheel kind if you don't want the 4-wheeler. But if you can get in your yard, you might benefit from getting outside for 10 minutes or so every day (it probably takes you time to get out the door so might seem hardly worth it but it could help). Is your yard getting overgrown and hard to move in? It can be expensive to have that taken care of, yeah. You do have shopping and laundry help so there is that. Getting more help can be expensive though. Assisted living might work better for you if you can swing it (can be $$$ depending on what is available near you if/when you decide to make that move). I have gone the baby wipe route because for a time I just did not want the feel of water falling on my skin and baths take a lot of water and getting in and out of the tub. It was a useful adaptation till I got past that point but I keep it in mind.
Very good video. Lots to consider. My Mom hated to bathe and her smell was gone from age and smoking. It was not a good situation! I typically shower and wash my hair twice a week. My friends think that's weird 😂!!
Oh, I get it! I worked with so many of my patients when I did home health who had a significant odor! But their sense of smell had declined so they didn't notice it. But yes, it's not an easy situation. Hey, I wash my hair once a week (I do take 3 or more showers a week though - depending on what I do). A hairdresser once told me years ago that all we needed was once a week and I've been doing that ever since. I have to say, my hair is thicker than most at my age so maybe there's something to that.
My mom did not take a shower in a year before she passed. Had the chair and caregiver offered to help her. But no. So best we could do is, sponge baths in bed. She was incontinent as well. She was ok to have her hair washed in the sink every 3 weeks.
Actually, that's quite common. I worked with so many older adults in hospitals, nursing homes and in their own homes who would do the same thing. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you and the caretaker.
I'm newly retired. Disabled but have limited mobility. I took a shower every day since I was prob 12 yes old. 3 yrs after retiring Im now only washing up daily. I have a tub which makes getting in horribly scary. I wash my hair once a month in kitchen sink (I don't typically sweat) I use soap on entire body a few times a month. But do a goin/butt wah daily and have a bidet. My husband will tell me if there are issues and I am not. But I'm not that old and I don't have dementia. It sounds so difficult to help your family or patients. I like the idea of sponge baths. Lying on the bed. I'm not sure how to negotiate with someone who is that difficult. Getting old is not for the weak. 😢
Well, aging CAN be terrible depending on the person who is aging, the family they are tied to and the circumstances. That's why it's so very, very important to take control of your life and situation as soon as possible. 1) Take care of your health. Eat right, exercise moderately. 2) Set up your home to be as safe as possible by following the rules of aging in place and universal design. 3) Don't ignore your mental health. Speak to therapists if needed, get out and socialize if that helps you, etc. 4) Be productive and purposeful. Keep working or consulting or mentoring or volunteering. Something that brings meaning to your life. 5) Do for others more than for yourself. 6) Stay positive - let go of the negative. After 12 years of working with the geriatric population, these are the 6 lessons that I learned and I live by them every day.
Oh that makes sense. I fell off a step ladder almost 10 years ago, fractured my wrist severely and I still have hip pain from that fall. I haven't been on a ladder of any height since! I would like to think that if you can replace your bathtub with a shower that is curbless and has a seat, slip resistant flooring, grab bars and hand held shower head that it would all be worth it to help you to feel safer. Otherwise, I certainly understand your reluctance.
Yes, I thought I mentioned that in this video but yes, that is one of the issues that can certainly keep someone from showering or bathing. If that's the case, then that's when it's best to introduce a shower bench or chair. Grab bars to hold on to. Using a hand held shower head and mounting it on the wall next to the bench or chair. A heat lamp over the shower or bathtub is nice because it also keeps the area warm. Having the towel or towels within reach of the seated person is important. Making the shower or bathtub floor as non-slip as possible. Making the floor outside of the shower or tub non slip as well - use a non slip rug. Keep non-slip slippers just outside the shower or tub so that the person is not walking around barefoot. If needed, a seat or bench just outside the shower or tub to make it easier and safer to dry oneself with a towel while sitting instead of standing. Make sure the area is brightly lit. I have quite a few articles on our website about these issues. I hope they can help you. seniorsafetyadvice.com/aging-in-place/bathrooms/ Thanks for commenting.
I have an elderly woman client who refused to take a shower except for once every 2 weeks. And she wears depends...Any advice would be helpful. Thank you.😊
Ohh, well that brings back a lot of memories for me working as an OT with older patients. Let me see if I can help you. 1) If at all possible, can you try to find out WHY she refuses to wash more often? You might get some insight about it by seeing how she acts when she DOES take a shower. Maybe the room is too cold. Maybe it's difficult for her to get fully undressed. Maybe she's afraid of falling. Of course, she may just be very stubborn and want to do anything she can her own way. :) 2) If you can find out what the issue is, maybe you can correct it. Put a heater in the bathroom to warm it up. Ensure that there are soft, non slip rugs on the floor. Try to help with taking off and putting on clothing. If there's no shower chair, add one. She may still resist, it just depends on her cognitive state. 3) I am assuming she changes her Depends in the bathroom. I wonder if putting a packet of personal hygiene wipes like any of these - amzn.to/3HtWb1b - nearby would prompt her to use them? As long as she doesn't flush them down the toilet. So, you'll need a garbage can nearby as well. 4) If a full shower is not possible, any kind of sponge bath may be helpful, of course. 5) Know that some older adults lose their sense of smell and if she's cognizant enough, you may want to educate her on that. Let her know that just because she doesn't smell how bad she smells, doesn't mean that others don't. And then invite family or friends over. It sometimes helps to have others, not just you, tell her that she needs to wash more often. Of course, this only works if she's not in a state of dementia or Alzheimer's. Let me know if any of these helped.
Your video very opportunely landed in my newsfeed. I’m 76 and shower/bath 2-3 times a week with a spot clean other days. Think it’s enough, hope I don’t smell 😬. But my problem is my very sweet, almost 102 yo Mother who is living in a retirement home. She’s quite independent for her age but losing her eyesight and short term memory and is very easily tired. Staff there have been reminding her on Wednesdays to shower. Last week she refused. She is smelling. I’m not sure if it’s her mouth or body. She says she brushes her teeth. I also have to point out that the clothes she is wearing need to go through a launder which I do for her. I wouldn’t say she’s depressed, seems still sweet and happy and so grateful for everything that anyone does for her 😍. I can’t tell her she smells and make her sad 😩 so I’m going to broach the subject of having a service come in, for however often she qualifies, to give her a hand. Very well done and needed post thank you. Liked and subscribed 👍🏽
Oh thank you so much. My mom-in-law was 102 as well and she also did not pay attention, as she so meticulously did when she was younger to her hygiene. It's actually quite common and I'm sure your mother does not have the sense of smell that she used to. I think getting staff to help her is a great idea. It's probably just so exhausting for her to take a shower, as it is for most older adults so she just skips it. Of course, as I say in the video, it's not necessary to shower every single day unless of course you are sweating, working in the yard, etc. So, what you are doing for yourself is certainly the way to do it. Thank you so much again for sharing.
@@SeniorSafetyAdvice thank for answering!! And yes. Everything tires her out so I can see how she is leaving more and more out of her routine. My sister and I will do everything we can to make her happy and comfortable 💖💖💖💖
Food for thought. Older people just may have adapted to a daily wash from the sink, as they grew up with or went through long water restrictions or had no running water.
Absolutely!! I saw that a lot when I worked in rehab hospitals and nursing homes with older patients. It makes a lot of sense. Thanks for reminding us of that.
You forgot to mention that taking a shower when you are very old uses up so much energy. Energy that old people don't have.
That is true, thank you for reminding me of that!
That happens when your malnourished
Either shower when you're around others, or others may very well PICK YOU UP and PUT you in the shower, and then give you a GI bath!
When you STINK, you CAN actually make others SICK to the point of PUKING 🤮 😡👎
Don't jeopardize others' health
Either shower when you're around others or people may pick you up and forcefully put you in there, and give you a GI bath 👎
If you exercise regularly you will have more energy. Count bathing as exercise.
Yes.. true
@@singerjo5791 not so easy with a stubborn senior 😊
When I was an aide in an early dementia unit, I learned a few things that are helping me in my own life as I age. Music activates a different part of the brain than speech and I would sing Take Me Out to the Ball Game with them - I found they often could not understand yet knew all the words to the song. I was able to bathe and dress them for bed. At bedtime, we would lay out fresh clothes and undies for the morning. Often I would sing them all the way to the dining room and back to their rooms.
Oh I love that!! Thanks so much for sharing.
Yes…experts say….music recognition is basically last thing to go. If it ever goes.
With my dad, it was 1950's black and white tv shows and sports from that era. It was comforting to him. iPads and YT, nothing better.
Sometimes, it can be helpful to have two carers to assist with bathing, rather than just one, if that’s possible. It worked for me when all else failed.
God bless you!
Looked it up because they do it right….what do they do in Japan?
Sure enough, they got this. They make rituals of warm baths, walk in like you’d do in a natural pool or sea side.
It’s just the bath, other fixtures are separate room entirely, separate activity, a bath is separate.
Beautiful surroundings, no harsh lighting, beautiful sounds.
And….they stole my idea. Thought ten years ago--there should be a bathing squad. They come twice a week and take over duties.
They respect and comfort the patient to make a ritual bathing experience, efficiently done.
Japan does it. And, no wonder…oldest citizens, fastest growing population of 86 years old.
I am 76-year-old female and I hate to get in the shower the reasons are I am afraid of falls so I put it bathing chair I sit on I have bars in the shower and I turn on the heat when I shower; I get short of breath I get short of breath; but I keep on truckin I drink it can a mountain dew and I shower once a week;; hand wash during the week;; under my arms and so forth;; this is life and it's my way of staying fresh and clean with no orders; take it or leave it;; it's just my way Joanne😅😂
Thanks for sharing Joanne. Whatever works for you, as long as you are safe. Sorry you get out of breath, but it sounds like you are doing the best you can. Just stay safe. Make sure you have non-slip stickies in your shower and a non-slip mat to step on as well.
😮
At least you wash your smelly bits regularly. As a nurse we get patients who won't even do that and the smell is very unpleasant.
Good for you. A person does what they can do
@@ymfg9004 really walk a day in my shoes sister
Showering exhausts me, but the thought of smelling bad gives me horrors
If standing in the shower is what you're doing, maybe placing a seat in there (a safe one) can help to make it less exhausting? Placing an extended shower head onto the wall next to the seat is also a great way to just sit, relax and shower.
If folks think I stink..I don't give a rats behind.
Just be careful still spot a person, mom 90 it's scary barely any room in tub with chair in there,then out leg over tub to get in,we put a rail,and still hold on the her,use easy rinse off soap,prepare,it helps to put things out,once in there,they don't want to get out
We should all try--- just to judge. Try a walker in the shower stall.
Walkers are genius, the design and sturdiness, built to last and much more versatile than we give them credit for.
Try it sideways, try it backwards.
Instead of having the bar in front, back into the space, the crossbar is now behind the bather.
If it feels slippery, put some dollar store rubberized shelf paper down, for bather's feet, as well as legs of the walker.
Shower seats do nothing for me, knees hurt, getting up hurts, not worth the effort. If your shower area is large enough, keep the walker right there, keep it standing will stabilize the bather's getting in.
Look around in the kiddies section, a kiddie swim vest, even the puffy arm bands would give a sense of security. Use a simple scarf tie or belt on the shower curtain pole. The overhead pole on a bus has a metal loop to gang on to. Use a scarf to hang on to. When you determine it’s helpful, immediately go to something sturdy and permanent.
@@josefinagarza241 Sounds divine, once over the hard part.
There are thick rubber thresholds, not cheap, but a one time purchase.
Lifting the foot is a major deal, knees hurt.
We need innovation. The transfer chairs look good. Sturdy yet lightweight. Maybe don’t take it all the way in the shower stall. Sit nearby for the drain, use handheld shower device. The problem is stepping. Slippery feeling, unstable is scary. Find a great chair with arms. Take it close to the shower stall. Work with things gradually, over days, get input from the bather about what comes next.
We can’t find things in catalogs because It doesn’t exist.
It’s a homemade project, safety grips, wooden rails that hold ADA rail below, against the inside length, the purpose is to slide the hand along, don’t lift the hand for safety and stability.
Anyone with a handicap knows…what is called accessible is often very poor. We need to give hotels and meeting places feedback. It’s all simple and inexpensive, but others need to be educated about what does and doesn’t work.
Bettie Grimes here. I'm 81yr old and i absolutely hate to showering. Its exhausting for me. I dread the feeling of the water on my skin. 1 to 2 times a week is fine.
82 - broke arms and wrists 9 times. Have had dislocations as well. Cut my arm into my bone, interesting to see our yellowish cells much like salmon caviar, and bone is like uncooked chicken bones with red veins running everywhere. REPLACED knee - went great - replaced shoulder - results in my not being able to raise my arm. Chipped a bone on my elbow - and dislocated other elbow. Concussions - seven. Yes, deathly afraid of slippery hard surface. I am afraid of my hip breaking from a fall and that will do me in. My mind is okay, I think. Use tons of toilet paper. Wash under arms and private area daily. I still fall as I don't have proper balance.
The fear of falling is rational.
I've been sitting on a chair in the shower for decades. I couldn't afford a stupid injury. It's also a very relaxing way to take a shower.
I live in South East Asia, one of the more common ways to die here, not just seniors, is slipping in the shower.
Caution and rational phobia comes with experience.
If you live near a beach where the weather is nice you can avoid bathing completely.
Wow, with all those incidents and still falling it seems you may be a very strong candidate for 24 hour supervision and/or a wheelchair. Otherwise, a hip fracture may just be something you won't avoid.
I would certainly strongly recommend that you speak with an geriatric care manager who can help you figure ou who the best people are to call to help.
@@camlacasse3760 Oof - you have been through A LOT!! But you sound like a real valiant trooper. Love and respect and many more years to you 💐
@@camlacasse3760. I’m DO SORRY!! Do u have family that can help u shower once a wk. or every 2 wks?? Or, if u are U are in the low income bracket, can can have a care giver come in and bath u!! This comps for charges nothing. And they also clean your home, if u can’t do it. And if u are are well off financially, u can hire someone to help bath or shower.
A bidet is the best answer! It’s perfect for the non-showering/bathing days. Definitely worth investing in. It’s less expensive than other options and doesn’t take up your energy to use. I was surprised to not hear this as a helpful option.
Totally agree!
I got a plastic bottle with the sprayer aimed like a bidet
A recycled plastic bottle filled with warm water to squit between legs while on toilet.
Great idea!
I bought a hand held one on Temu for a couple bucks
Not sure if you mentioned fear of falling. This is very common in the elderly and a major reason my mother refused to shower, despite repeated entreaties from me, her caregiver. There were many safeguards in place. We even got a shower chair, but then she became focused on the difficulty getting up from the seated position, despite help. Looking back now as I age, I can understand how vulnerable she must have felt.
Yes,I do believe I mentioned falling because that, I think, is the most common. I just ordered some shower stickies for my shower floor because I'm noticing that as I exit the shower it just feels a bit slippery. That fear of falling is so very real.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you. As a 67-year-old woman with many chronic diseases, I have difficulty with some of my ADL's. I live with my only child and her family, and I am afraid that if I reveal that I need help of any kind that she will place me in a nursing home. I am a retired nurse and have worked my nearly 30-year career in ER's and nursing homes. I've seen families drop off their older family members in the ER and leave them, refusing to come and get them. In nursing homes, I've seen the neglect, not only from staff but family members that refuse to come visit them, leaving the resident heartbroken. I've had two great aunts that were tricked into going to a nursing facility for rehab only to find that their homes were sold and all that they had was gone and that the nursing home was now their final home. They gave up and died within 3 months. It's scary when you have your good mind, but your body is rapidly declining. Thank you for the baby wipe trick and the not having to bathe as often. I have trouble in that department at times.
I understand
I'm so sorry, and I really sympathise with your predicament.
However I too am a former nurse, and I would never condemn families for being unable to care for relatives with severe dementia or disabilities.
I have never seen a nursing home resident who didn't need to be there.
I take it you're not in the UK ?
Because nobody here could be 'tricked' into having their home sold without their permission.
I know this also from personal experience.
My mother is in a nursing home, and I'm quite rightly, having to jump through SO many hoops in order to sell her house.
One being the lawyers requiring proof of her mental and physical incapacity from the doctors, and my having to provide legal proof of permission for me to act on her behalf.
I wish you good health & all the best .
I am sorry you are in the position you are in but please do not let your fear of what MIGHT happen get in the way of not being truthful with your family.
Truth is, if you are having difficulty with some of your ADL's now, without some help from others, those difficulties will only become bigger problems.
And then, your family may be forced to do something they do not want to do.
If you want to keep your independence, then get the help from a physical and/or occupational therapist to help you keep that independence.
Don’t assume all nursing homes are bad
I'm almost 69, thank God I'm in good health but I live alone and I'm afraid of ending my days in some horrible place, no more able to look after myself.
I am over 70 and have mobility problems but I shower usually twice a week, in hot weather more when possible, it is difficult for me and I am afraid of slipping so I have aqua non slip shoes and a seat in the shower, it is difficult getting in and out because I can't stand for long and have a tremor in my legs but I manage by grabbing onto pipes on wall etc then sit quickly on toilet to dry myself. I use an empty washing up bottle filled with water from the sink and a bar of sanex soap to wash my privates every day in the morning after using the toilet and before bed. It works well to freshen up . I don't think I smell and I know when i really do need a shower and a shampoo .I wear clean underwear every day and fresh clothes., I use tena pads for leaks. It is horrible getting older and I don't want to smell.
Well, I do agree that growing older is not for the faint of heart. It takes emotional strength and courage so please acknowledge that you have those.
Thank you so much for sharing all your tips and hopefully it can help others.
Getting old ain’t for sissies. I’m 75.
Bless you ,a lovely lady I think .We all hate old age but keeping clean and fresh is the biggest challenge . Perfume is a grt boost and if you like it let it be known to family and friends that it's ur present of choice .Otherwise you will be getting candles and more candles , 😊
Bless your heart @user-fr2eq.
Even making the effort makes you feel and look beautiful to the world. 💖
We sound a lot alike! I'm afraid of falling so I am very care getting in and out as I have no bars to grab on to! It takes me nearly an hour to bathe and wash my hair! I had the section bars but they are worthless! The don't stay!!
I on the other hand , love taking a shower . I am a senior citizen and love feeling Fresh. It's like all My worries and stress just goes away with the water. Bad energies and depression , whoosh ! Out it goes!! Makes me feel soooo good it Will sometimes be hard to keeping me from showering two and maybe three times a day when the weather is too hot. I have a very good feet pad that Will not let me Slip and two great safety handles within My reach so I am not scared of falling. Also wear My crocs to make it Better.
The Best is the after feeling of being clean , Fresh, and without Bad vibes stuck to My body ,!!! 👍😄
Oh that is so great, I love your story. When I lived in South Florida taking at least one shower a day was needed, it was so hot and I felt like I just lived in a hot shower! Yech!
So, I completely understand how you must feel.
It sounds like you are taking all the precautions and I love Crocs!! Great idea to wear them in the shower.
Same here. I'm 70 and it's very hot where I live so it's normal here to have cold showers twice daily. When it's extra humid, I will have another (cold) shower before bedtime.
Same with me. I am 75 and I need to shower every morning. Makes me feel so much better and ready for a new day.
Oh my gosh! I’ve been down. I dread, dread taking a shower! I need help to find out why this is getting worse. Reading your post, plus the comments. Really seemed to make me feel better. Thank you
The warmth helps sore tight muscles, gets the blood moving well, and is well worth the effort
I agree, so many reasons why seniors don’t want to bathe in a shower or tub. Having osteoporosis in both hips can be very scary thinking there might be a fall. Especially when walking is already unstable.
✨Thank You for this helpful video. 😊
Oh thank you for the comment!!
I’m thankful for my walk in shower!!
Ya. The bathroom is cold. And, I got in shower one time, I had two white big toes when I got in and a big black toe when I got out. No fan or heat lamp. Plus, afraid of falling. I don't want anything to break. Apartment here, wouldn't fix or buy anything. Ghetto senior apartment living. 62+ can't sleep at night the chick that just moved in above me is up making raucous all night and goes all day. I'd like some of that energy.
Here in UK many elderly people are afraid to use a shower or bath because of the cost it takes to heat the water. Electricity and gas prices are high and one elderly lady told me that she boils a kettle and uses the water to have a strip wash every day so that is how she keeps herself clean. These things are increasingly difficult for OAP’s trying to live on a State Pension.
Yes, I can certainly agree. Here in the U.S. it's difficult for the ones living in poverty as well. I know seniors who live only on their social security check of $1200.00 a month. With the cost of food and utilities and sometimes rent, it's simply not enough. It takes money to grow old.
Yeah, same here in Italy. 😢
Yap
While your king is a billionaire
Ms Darby, I’m a care worker for the elderly in the UK. From my experience, most native English people don’t mind strip wash, alternating full and top-and-tail and rarely shower. Some of those in ethnic minorities insist daily shower or strip wash up to twice a day. Our service-users’ mobility must not compromise their safety. We don’t bother the less mobile to shower but some demand us to do more than their fare share. June of London
Just give a hot towel wash like we do for a bed bath in hospital. Three towels , about 500mls of hot water for each towel,. Use some QV wash or similar, or some moisturiser, add a few drops of a calming aromatic oil. Just put the rolled towels in a bowl or plastic bag, add the water and just wash the body in bits. One towel for the face and upper torso, one towel for the legs and one for the back and groin. You don’t get wet, just like the hot towel you used. To get on some flights before meals. You only need to expose parts of the body at one time, so they don’t get too cold. Give it a try.
Perfect!!!
Great advice given here.
Almost 70. I look forward to a warm evening shower and a squirt of Channel perfume. You sleep better.
Oh, I love that routine!!!
I love it!😊
No, YOU sleep better. Not me.
Omg Chanel stinks
70 is much different than 80. At 70 I was still flying my little airplane. At 80 it’s a much steeper downhill slide. More difficult to shower, dress, prepare food, clean up, go out and thinking process is slower. At what point I will need more help is looming. Sympathies to all who have more diseases and injuries to manage.
What has happened to sponge baths. We took them as children.stand in front of the sink, wash privates, pits and feet. Done.
Nothing, sponge baths are fine for most. It's just that some people like the running water on them. Some don't.
As a friend of mine always says, I'll do me and you do you!
Meaning just do what works best for you.
@@SeniorSafetyAdvice some old people or people with disabilities can not stand for extended periods of time.
@@kfl611 Bath chairs are needed for me and so many others that are either elderly or just carrying too much weight. My daughter is in that situation and is only 57 but is afraid of falling in the shower. She has a bath chair and it really helps you feel secure.
@kfl611
I just bought a shower stool because I can't stand for a whole shower.
We call that "pits and slits" 😅
Thank you for mentioning depression and the fact that this is one of it's physical manifestations. For the oldest among us any mental illness carries with it a huge stigma, absolutely huge
Oh, I think mental illness has a huge stigma attached to it no matter what age. It's ridiculous really. In my experience, older adults have a higher chance of developing anxiety and depression and of course it can easily manifest in physical symptoms.
I do hope that I live long enough to see the medical community and society finally accept mental illnesses as easily as they accept physical ones.
@@SeniorSafetyAdvice UK We are really getting a handle on it over here compared to even 25 years ago which is great. Of course it's not perfect but when famous people talk about it it moves acceptance forward. And all my doctors have been fantastic
Yeah, isn't it funny how just having a famous person or family talking about something propels acceptance and changes society. Wish it didn't have to be that way.
It occurs to me that it is possible after death of spouse one might be distraught that he simply is not interested to groom self. No incentive, no motivation.....the emotion one goes through after death of spouse is incredible, and indescribable....
I'm bi polar one, late diagnosed, bc of my meds several years ago it zapped all my energy and made daily life hard, especially showers, but I powered through, I've done it all my life, but I hate
Going w/o being clean, it's disgusting 🤢
NOTE: Meidcare will pay for an aide to come to the home for shower care, IF the persom is "homebound", meaning they can't leave the house on their own. Your physician doesn't have to order it. Call a visiting nursing nursing agency & they'll send a RN to assess your loved one & determine care needs. They'll ask a family member to be there for that visit. The agency's physician will write the order for Medicare & they'll interface with your doctor. You may also get assistance with medication administration, nursing or PT; whatever is necessary & you agree to. They can be a godsend. Great video, BTW.
Oh thank you so much for sharing your information, it's all great info and something I'm sure so many will appreciate. And thanks, glad you liked the video!!
I will never understand why Medicare refuses to at least partially pay for converting a tub to a walk in shower. 🙄
I’m 92, all you say is soooo true, my daughter respects me and I do still do all I need to, I’m blessed, but for those who are not able this lady gives excellent advice,👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🤪🤩
Ohhh, thank you so much! I honestly get so many comments on this particular video and there are quite a few that are, well, let's say not so nice.
So, I truly do appreciate your comment!! Thank you!
I love that you feel blessed, but from what I hear in your comment, it sounds as if your daughter is blessed as well to have as her mother.
Take care.
I'm in my 70s. We took a bath ONCE A WEEK. My dermatologist said people are destroying their immune systems by over bathing.
Yeah, I kinda agree with your dermatologist. But, as someone mentioned earlier, for people who are sedentary or bed bound or wheelchair bound, it may be necessary a bit more often to be part of a plan to help prevent pressure sores. Then again, it's certainly not going to prevent it by itself.
Marketers really did a good job on selling the soap industry, didn't they?
Destroying immune systems my foot! Excuses.
@@pathopewell1814 Lol that's new to me
my husband is wheelchair bound. He had a hip disarticulaton. Since his surgery 11 years ago he has never ever had sores. Because his tailbone does not allow him to sit on a chair or couch like a normal person. We had to have a cushion made for him. They imaged his bottom sitting on a cushion. The cushion looks like a bowl where his bone is and support his bottom and the area of his disarticulaton. I also massage his bottom every night when he goes to bed. We also bought a sleep number one air mattress. The cushion was covered by our insurance. They are expensive, but better then paying for treatment of pressure sores. People who are wheelchair bound can benefit from a custom made cushion. But unfortunately many have no idea that they can be made but of course expensive. My husband is on his fifth cushion and the last one ran the insurance company $4000 total. Cushions do need to be replaced.
I use a 3 drawer plastic unit on wheels in the bathroom. I wheel it conveniently, facing me when I am sitting on the toilet. Top drawer: different size wipes and deodorant under arm products. Have paper towel available too.
Second drawer: incontinence pads. i favor Poise products. Third drawer: freshly washed under pants. This is very convenient and i have a waste basket near by. This helps on days that I do not shower.
What a great tip! Thanks so much for sharing.
Very good idea!
Many of us don't have walk in showers. If you have the shower in the tub, like me, it can be very difficult and scary to have to lift yourself over the tub to even get in, especially if you have arthritis. I have a shower chair and a hand held shower head plus bars to hold onto and they help a lot.
You are right, not everyone has a walk in shower nor can they afford to replace what they do have with one.
A shower chair is good and grab bars are also very good - you're doing the right thing.
The only other option I can recommend is a shower bench.
Something like this...
www.rehabmart.com/product/ada-compliant-teak-seat-for-bathtubs-46573.html?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0ruyBhDuARIsANSZ3wqjDnRmwKDQ24ELqeA7rDiX0Y94Mb2im6AFV9PAhTur0ITvsxYqMc8aAocHEALw_wcB
The beauty of this is that you don't have to step into the tub to get into it. You can sit down outside of the tub and then swing your legs over (if you can do that).
I know it's not inexpensive but it may be something that can help you as you grow older. Goodness knows we can all use tools to help make ourselves safer!
@@SeniorSafetyAdviceThis bench is $545.00. Far too expensive and the shower curtain cannot be pulled past it to keep water off floor! Not the best suggestion!
Hand held shower flexible,,and inexpensive..heads are perfect for those of us who have advanced arthritis and osteoarthritis. Grab bars to get in and out.,still standing, then simply wash with flex shower. Solves my limited ability issues 👍🏻
I wonder if there's a bench that you could have on the outside (a second bench), maybe in a way where you can scoot to the other chair? IDK, maybe the distance is too far ☹️ But it could at least be helpful for drying and dressing....
My mom won’t shower or take bath for 2yrs! She claims she sponge bathes but she don’t. She use to use diaper wipes but that isn’t enough and now she don’t really use that anymore. The nurses say she should bathe once a week because she has gotten septic from cellulitis; So yes, you do have to bathe to get rid of bad bacteria. Elderly also can get very dry flaky skin and that too builds up. So if they don’t bath they are at more risk of infections like cellulitis, UTI, fungal and so on. Many elderly with dementia think they showered recently or they sponge bathed and they did not. My mom refuses to use a shower chair because she claims she can’t bathe that way and it’s more of hazard. When I try to get her to stand and hold the rail she comes up that she’ll fall or her wrist hurts so she can’t shower. It’s a cycle when you say one thing they keep turning it and twisting it so they have a reason to not shower or they go off into another subject. Even the OT and nurse that would come tried and she would refuse. Over the last few years they only got her to shower 4 times. You can’t reason with someone whose mind is not functioning properly anymore.
Yes, it's very true. There is no reasoning with someone who has a malfunctioning set of circuits. That's just the reality of it. I am sorry you are dealing with this issue and there certainly are times that nothing works and you just have to take it for what it is.
But, calling in another Occupational Therapist or nursing assistant may help. Sometimes, soothing music and a very warm room is very helpful.
A sponge bath does not have to be done in a bathroom, if she's more comfortable in her bedroom, it may be easier to do a short sponge bath there.
We have many patients who for whatever reason can’t or won’t get into the shower, even younger ones. We just give them a good bed bath which I’ve outlined in my comment , if you can find it. The skin gets a bit of a scrub and moisturise at the same time. Remember to clean the feet and between the toes well. Use wet wipes in the toilet but don’t flush. Good luck.
I'm 71, and I have just gotten to the age where it is utterly terrifying to try to take a shower. A bath is much better. Put a chair in the tub so I can sit on it and finish my bathing, and can get out -- that is everything. But trying to stand up and take a shower is utterly terrifying. I am so terrified of slipping!
Stop being so feeble. Ditch the chair. Just grab the rail and enjoy. I am eighty-five and gave a bath every day. No problem.
Hi Tabby, Thank you for sharing....we all have much to share with one another in getting through this human life without an owners manual... My mother, Blanche, lived to 94. Although in generally good health she did struggle with dementia. She did not like to take a shower/bath & was very modest. One day after nicely telling her how much better she would feel and that she would also be nice and warm, (she was very cold all the time), I took off all my clothes, turned on the bath water, added her chair with a towel on top of the chair since it was hard. I made it all a respectable game of sorts. In we went. I also had her sit on her chair with her back to the shower. At that point I gently began a light spray at the base of her spine as to not shock her with the water. I checked with her on the temp and then went very slowly up her back with my other hand on her back for security. Before long she was cooing with the warmth, suds up and I even washed her hair. I gave her a dry facecloth to insure no soap got into her eyes. I also had a tiny heater in the bathroom for her. God bless her. I wish she were here now to take a shower with. Sorry for the run on sentences here. Good luck to all of you who take care of family or loved ones. Don't forget to care for yourself. It is an act of love which they appreciate whether they show it or not. Blessings to all.
I was raised washing ourselves after no 1 and no 2, thoroughly. So, always feeling good about private part. Once a week long shower or bathing, washing my hair too. If sweating or getting dirty, yes, either shower or towel wash. I had oily skin, so, for many years I had to shower or bathe n wash my hair, every 5 days. Now, at 79, my skin is not that oily, so, weekly long shower, n towel wash under arms in between. I love to smell good, and feel clean specially in private part. I don't understand how can anyone live with dirty under pants!!! Thank you for this informative video.
Your parents did great teaching you all of that. Not everyone does, believe me. And I think for the most part, the individuals who tolerate dirty under pants are in a state of dementia or other cognitive decline. It's not that they intend to do that and honestly, if their brain was functioning as it once did, they probably would be horrified.
But, that's what a cognitive decline does, it strips you of reasoning and judgement (which are usually the first to go).
I go to my parents'house twice a day, just so I can get my mum to change her Adult diaper in the morning and before going to bed. I manage to give her A shower every 3 days ,and she always says "why do I have to change my underwear, why do I have to shower?"but as soon as I hold out my hand to guide her to the bathroom "where are we going?", she's fine. She was always so particular about being clean and wearing lipstick.
@@SeniorSafetyAdvicethank you very much ❤
@@tinakollia9420Thank you very much ❤
@@tinakollia9420Your Mom is so blessed to have you Tina!!❤❤
Glad I saw this. I'm 76. I shower weekly and wash my hair. Every day I take a sink bath, of course clean under clothes every day. I can't figure out what made me change from bath or shower every night.I like being clean some times in summer one really hot days I would sometimes shower twice a weel. I grew up where a bath once
Thanks so much for sharing. Yes, many older adults, my mother included grew up showering about twice a week or so. Summer of course was more often and also depending on what they did that day.
But of course, clean clothes and underwear - absolutely!
Sponge baths, or whatever you want to call them are a great alternative. It's just very important to keep your privates as clean as possible. That's the most important part.
My mother in law is in an assisted living facility. They couldn't get her to shower. Her daughter told them to bribe her with a beer! It worked with a 4 oz.
OMG, this made me laugh!!! Hey, whatever works.
I had never thought of that.
When they get elderly a daily shower is not a reasonable expectation. Aim for twice a week maybe 3 times.
Absolutely!!!!
At 75, I try for every other day. If I get sweaty It's shower day.
However, daily changes of underwear (and sponging peri area if possible) should be encouraged to prevent UTIs
It is hot and humid where I live so I always take 2 cold showers daily. If I am extra sweaty, I will take another cold shower before bed. I am 70 years old and hope I will not forget to take daily showers as I get older.
@@julianinurgahayati911 It's not about forgetting - if only it was that simple. You'll understand in time.
I have very fragile skin. There is always an area that is irritated. My doctor told me not to bath every day. Every 2 to 4 days is fine. If I get sweaty I will take a quick shower. For some reason, about 20 years ago, I began to hate taking showers and I think it was depression. I would go nearly 2 weeks without bathing and then go at it very quickly. Now I am 75 and I shower about 3 times a week and wash my hair once a week. On cold wet days, I dred taking a shower. I have learned to rely on baby wipes to keep my private area free of odor between shower days. I do take quick showers to cool off in the summer. I don't feel depressed anymore so I tend to shower more regularly.
Thanks so much for sharing your information. Depression certainly does play a big part in difficulties with showering. I went through that right after my husband died, so I get it.
Me too no shame to feel what we do do what works suits you no one else has to know & too bad if do 😂
My father had to have a bed bath for almost the last year of his life. I made sure he smelled good as the one thing i didn't want in his home was it to smell like a nursing home 😊
Oh he was so very lucky to have you!!!
@@SeniorSafetyAdvice I was blessed to have him 😊
I did same for my Husband & Mum as once worked in Nursing Homes know exactly what you mean. Made sure they were always clean fresh smelt nice it wasn't easy as both couldn't walk. I was their full time Carer was a lot of work but well worth it loved looking after them. Miss them both so much ❤❤ it was an honour to have them at home with me till they passed. My biggest regret is that I couldn't look after my wonderful Dad he passed in hospital ❤
@@jangriffin-fi1yx yes it was hard as dad was bedridden, too. It was a difficult 4-1/2 years as he had 6 children and I was the main caregiver. Some seemed forgotten him when he could no longer do. Sad. Even relationships were changed. Now my mother had alzheimer and we are trying to keep her at home as long as possible. Yet this seems harder. Dad had a stroke.
Thank you for your advice. I will be 80 this year and you clarified lot of changes that I find myself going through! I will tell my daughter about your program. I think she will be interested in getting tips from you, as I may need her assistance in the near future. I live alone now, however I see more help she will be giving me! 🥰
Oh thank you! And I applaud your foresight in understanding that we all need a little bit of help every now and then.
I am almost 66 years old and I am already thinking of my options as I grow older.
I think its the true spirit of independnce when you take charge!
If I can help you or your daughter, please let me know!
Helpful video. Not dependent on others to take care of myself (yet!) but I do recognize that taking a shower has become a CHORE, not just something I used to do without even thinking about it. Have to schedule a bit of a nap after a shower because it does wear me out.
My mom-in-law used to say the same thing!! She would need a nap after taking a shower.
When I had Aunt Dot living here, she washed daily, and showered weekly. She grew up taking a weekly bath on the farm, BUT they washed daily. That is enough. I have taken up the habit, actually washing after I use the toilet nearly every time. What a difference! TP just does not keep you clean......
Oh absolutely, TP does NOT get you clean or keep you clean, for sure. Lots of folks use wipes but the problem with those is that even though it may be labeled as "flushable" they really aren't.
That's why a bidet is such a great tool to have in the home. I do hope that someday they become as popular here in the U.S. as they are in Europe.
And my mother also followed that same routine. Washed daily, showered weekly. That really is enough.
Thanks for sharing.
I have a Happy Po bidet - got it for travel, but now use it at home all the time. Inexpensive and effective. I’ve thought of getting a heated bidet installed, but I have no experience with installed bidets and am not sure I will like the aiming ability of them.
Where I'm from, everybody uses water after every toilet visit. We do have toilet paper but mostly used for drying.
When I was taking care of my mother who was bedridden, I will wipe her private areas including buttocks with toilet paper (for nappy change after urinating or defacating) then clean with soap, wipe with wet towel and finishing off with dry towel. She passed at 91 and I miss her
Because of extreme dry skin, I was told by a dermatologist to only shower every other day I’m 83 and this works very well I’m cle@n with my body and clothes and dont mind taking a shower when that other day comes around. Love smelling good!
Thanks for sharing!! So glad your dermatologist said that to you! It's very true.
I really feel the cold, and for me, bathrooms or shower rooms are rarely warm enough, for me it is crucial to get it toasty warm before getting wet.
I hear you, I like it on the warm side too!!
Would it help to put your (fresh) towels and clothes in the dryer? Get it prepped and warm for when you come out? If course, it will cool off, but if you keep it bundle on the bed, or solid surface that's close, and put another towel/pillow/blanket on top so it stays as warm as possible. Being cold isn't fun, esp if you get wet then cold, brrr!
Not related to the shower, but I needed a heating pad for pain. I found a heating pad for massage tables! It works so much better than the mattress heating pad (the kind that's like a sheet, but has heat elements in it). I got that for our first house because it was soooo cold. But it died unevenly, too quickly. I've been using the massage table heater for many, many years without issues. It is under a mattress pad, sheets, blanket, and quilt. Just sharing in case it helps🤗
Disposable wipes and rinse-free bath sponges/cloths are game changers. Helps with hygiene and with independence. Good for self-esteem of an elderly loved one.
Absolutely agree! Yes, those disposable wipes are the best. There are even quite a few no-rinse types of body wash and shampoos as well. amzn.to/3WSpqlA
Best comment here. Cheaper and better for elderly skin. ❤
I needed to watch this video for advice the help is needed as a care giver. The elderly said she wasn't ready to bathe
Well, I certainly hope that the video helped you.
If you can see my comment above. It might help care for your elder person. My grandmother wasn’t able to bath or shower for many years because she couldn’t get over the bath side. She had just a bird bath at the sink. She did smell and her skin was good. Don’t stress too much. 🙏🏻
My mother was bathing once a week. She was devout and wanted God to take her. She was tired at 86. I also believe she was depressed. When she refused one week I asked her if she wanted to meet her maker being stinky. I suppose it sounds cruel, but, she bathed regularly until the day she died. I miss her!
Oh my goodness, what a story. Thank you for sharing and that was very smart of you! She had a wonderful daughter.
My parents are 96 and showering is exhausting, but they never smell bad. It’s teenagers who are oily and ripe with hormonal sweat - or maybe I’m losing my sense of smell early.
Oops Ive gone 6-7 months not showering. Though if im still living in my mini van this summer, ill be glad to take more frequent showers. I hate summer arghhhh Federal gov needs to address senior housing.
If you are willing to move (to another state or location) you may want to call caring.com at 800-558-0653 to ask for information on senior housing options for low income seniors. They are certainly out there, you just have to hunt for them and you have to be willing to move to where they are.
I have a friend of mine who was in your situation and he ended up moving to Hendersonville, NC (he was in Colorado). So, if you're able and willing to make the change, give them a call.
We need to stop waiting for the government who clearly wants us gone, and put our intentions toward good people giving the space they can to take us on. Maybe a trailer on their property, renting out camping areas with shower access. Something more humane than us living in cars, not being able to have a place to shower. I'm still hanging in, but my rent is 65% of my income. I'm living on credit, for now. I'll keep you in my prayers.
where I live summer is very humid, and broiling hot, so I bathe twice a day, once in the morning to get ready for the day, and at night to get cooled off enough to sleep. In winter once in the morning is sufficient. I have very oily skin and the humidity just makes it that much more miserable.(Electric bill goes into orbit in summer, too, running the AC at full blast all day). I used to think that the heat wouldn't be so bad as I aged, but if anything it's getting worse. A year ago I was injured in a fall and had to make-do on "bird-baths", and it was miserable a long with the pain. When I was finally up to bathing again, it felt like paradise. Baby Boomer here, but I have had people much younger sit down near me on the bus who smelled like they must have slept in a dumpster the previous night.
6-7 months!!! What the actual F ? It’s a wonder you don’t have scabies !!!
Since becoming partially paralyzed in both legs, I've had MAJOR problems with taking a shower. Cannot take a bath because of not being able to get in or out of the tub. I have a shower chair with a soft bathmat on the bottom of the bathtub. I'm also temporarily in a wheelchair, which makes things easier, actually, vs. the walker, if you can believe that. Anywho, yes, I bath once every week unless I have an "accident" or something. I'm extremely sedentary, only leaving he house to go to Church on Sundays. I'm the pianist there. I go outside rarely, if at all. My clothing is clean, so I focus on that more than anything else. It's painful & takes me THREE HOURS to get a sit-down shower. So there's that. So much time. It's also extremely dangerous. I've hurt myself severely trying to get a shower, so I'm rather reluctant to get one. I have to be SO very careful. Every move I make could be fatal. I also have major blood-flow issues in both of my lower legs. I can't afford for my lower legs to touch anything. Even trying to towel off is dangerous as I can easily tear my skin. I have to pat myself dry. Just getting dressed is challenging. I have to move slow & very carefully. It's hard to do my hair as well. I haven't been able to find a suitable hair stylist in I couldn't tell you how long. Thankfully, our favorite hair stylist has come back after spending a few years raising her little ones. So, I'm VERY excited! My hair is so long & I just can't deal with trying to put it up anymore. I'll be SO happy when I get to get my hair cut & styled!!! I can't WAIT! Also, I use baby wipes instead of toilet paper. Huggies baby wipes are flushable. They have never stopped up any of our toilets. Just make sure to flush for every 3 wipes you use. They are a tremendous help in keeping oneself clean at all times. Anywho, yes, I used to sit back in abject HORROR upon finding out my parents, (before they passed away) took a shower every two weeks! But now I KNOW how they felt. Getting a shower has to be the most dangerous part of an older person's day. It's just not worth the risk. So, thank you so much for posting this for those who haven't managed to achieve their golden years yet in explaining why it is their elderly loved one doesn't want to bathe.
Oh thank you for the kudos and thank you for sharing your experience, @deeannray5093. It sounds like you have a lot of challenges to manage, and it's understandable why showering can be so difficult and dangerous for you. It does sound as if you are doing the very best that you can.
Just a thought, if you haven't yet had an Occupational Therapist come to your home for an assessment. It may help to have someone with experience to look at your situation to see if there is an alternative way for you to shower. It certainly wouldn't hurt.
Otherwise, I am very glad that you are getting out to church and to get your hair done (hooray!).
Thank you again for sharing your story!
As a senior citizen who was paralyzed from the neck down on right side (fully recovered) showers are dangerous due to balance problems. Baths are also dangerous due to having to step over.
I can understand that. Glad that you recovered and also proud of you for recognizing that shower stalls and bathtubs can be hazardous. I wonder if a walk in tub could help you in any way?
and the tub is hard to exit when you're weak from the warmth. Shower is best.
I understand. I'm 79, and I hate (always have) getting wet. For starters. Also, (and this occured when early 60's). - sometimes a pleasantly warm/hot (not a steam bath) shower creates enough humidity/light steam that I feel faint, black out. Many times had to turn off water, grab robe, and try to fall on bed before blacking out. Scary when alone. So - though I do shower when feel ok, usually sponge bath daily. No way bathtub. When my dad was in Veterans home, someone would wash him. Then dump clean warm water over his head, towels on floor. Dad never complIained, but I'd have had a hissy if any water got dumped over me!!!! It must be horrible to not be able to do for yourself, and at the mercy and patience of others. The future concerning showers looks bleak. I do have a medic alert button I hang by the shower, just in case.
I certainly would address the issue of blacking out from humidity with your doctor! Another option also is a voice activated device in the bathroom. Like an Alexa device. What if you can't reach the medical alert device? Just using your voice to call for help can be very useful.
seniorsafetyadvice.com/can-alexa-call-911-using-amazon-echo-for-emergencies/
Linda, the official term does come to mind, but there is a diagnosis for a person who does not like getting wet. One of my grandkids ( adult ) has this problem. On Google type in something about hating to get wet, to see what it says. It may be a form of autism. I thought it might help explain “ yourself to yourself “. It is fun to understand our quirks.
I use perineal no rinse cleanser for mom for all her body. Then I use a non-rinse shampoo for her hair. Towel dry, and wah-lah, she feels better and smells wonderful!, I use cream under arm deodorant because there is no tugging on tender skin. We are installing a warm water bidet and look forward to keeping her cleaner. Thank you for "not stressing out", You rock!
Oh thank you! And what a great process you have, I love it! I looked up the products you mentioned and here are the links to them, maybe not the same brands but the same kind of products. What great tips, thank you so much! Your mom is so fortunate to have you!
Perineal no rinse cleaner - amzn.to/3RZLut7
Non-rinse shampoo - amzn.to/3zJXEzG
Cream deodorant - amzn.to/3LhCr2W
This was a very interesting video and you have delivered the suggestions and information in a very articulate, respectful and sensitive manner. I am new to working in home and community care and I have now learned some great tips thanks to you, so thank you kindly, best wishes from Australia.
Thank you very much! Again, just thank for your very kind words! I do think your clients / patients will be so very grateful for your services! Best of luck to you!!
Thank you so very much, dear, for making this video!!! I am my caregiver at my house! My husband passed away on October 21, so it’s just me myself and I I guess!! Plus I got to work in a nursing home years ago, which is helpful to use that knowledge now, and any other knowledge that I learn or pick up, such as yours… You were mentioning about the shower and having a device to put in the shower, so if you fall… I have Lifeline now, which you may be familiar with that. I wear around my neck and charge every day… But it is designed to wear into the shower around my neck, so if I fell in the shower, it would contact the emergency 911… It is great, because it doesn’t matter if the water comes down on it!! Etc. just thought I would mention that to you here, though you may have already had that told you many times… I see you made this four years ago I guess, though it says three years ago, but you mentioned the year 2020… You had some really good points/ideas/advice… I may come and watch your video again, and may comment or two again… But thank you again very much!!! Love, Sister Gay Michaelis(and Brother Duane Michaelis in the spirit world) and family… have you found the gospel of Jesus Christ yet?!? You need to, because we are in the last days!!! ❤️🤟🙏👌🇺🇸🌼😇😊🏡🤗🥰😄😎🌺
Thank you so much for your comment and sharing your story! My husband also passed away, but it was 9 years ago. It took me many years to adjust to this new lifestyle, so I understand. I am sorry for your loss.
Lifeline is a great product and I'm so very glad they created a waterproof version!
I do hope that you find some peace and purpose in these "last days" as you put it. I personally don't think of them as "last days", but I do certainly acknowledge that I am on the downhill slide so I do my best to make each moment of each day purposeful and meaningful. I don't waste too much time anymore.
Again, thank you so very much!
So nice to hear you point out the marketing angle on appropriate hygiene. Like adding rinse and repeat on the shampoo instructions when really, once is enough. They really sold extreme hygiene - and are still selling it, hard. I'm 72 and have scheduled myself for once per week, but if i do gardening I always shower when i come in because reasons...
Yeah, it's quite amazing how marketing affects our decisions and then generation after generation, it just becomes part of the norm.
Reminds me of the story of a husband who always saw his wife cut the ends of a roast before she baked it. He asked her why did she do that and she said that's how she was taught, her mother always did that. So, later the wife asked her mother why does she cut the ends of the roast before baking and the mother said, because it otherwise would not fit in the pan!
It's so easy to just do what we've always done without questioning.
I become disoriented in the shower. On a good day, I can get into the
bathtub, but am more comfortable washing at the sink. I lived in the
wilderness when I was younger & it's possible to do a thorough job !
There's also the energy factor to consider !
Oh yes, the energy factor is an issue, for sure! And one that I think is overlooked in most cases. When my mom-in-law was in her 90's she had to take a nap after she showered. It was exhausting for her.
Lived in the wilderness?!!! Wow. I bet you have some stories to tell.
I agree Beth, I keep perfectly clean simply washing in lukewarm water.
I have had a fall, and taking showers is frightening ( fx hip) I have a helper who comes twice a week just to be here as I climb into the shower. Modesty is maintained as well as possible as she prepares the water temp and clean towels . I also have Life Alert as I live alone. Your article q most helpful and thank you for caring.. We are still valuable but for a bit of frailties c age.. Course we're still adorable and talented.
Sounds like you are doing all the right things! And thank you!
@@SeniorSafetyAdvice Thank you for your advice too. ‘Preciate your acknowledgment.
Don’t forget the “adorable “ part! 🤭
Ever thought about turning the heating on full blast? …I hate showering in a cold bathroom it’s awful…
Oh yes, of course. Making the room warm is very important. I thought I mentioned that in this video, sorry if I missed that one.
I hate showering after having baths all my life. I get very cold and can’t afford to heat the bathroom sufficiently for when I step out of the shower (the baths warmed the room). I can cope if I use my bidet to sit and wash different parts of my body daily. We are not having a summer this year in the UK so no respite from being cold yet 😕
@@janetstanland2015 really sorry Janet, I’m afraid I live in Corfu so it’s starting to get really hot now …I’m not being insensitive to your situation but is it not getting warmer in the UK now?
@@janetstanland2015 As someone who lives in Canada I hear you! I live in one of the coldest cities in our country in a house that, come winter, leaves me shivering in layers of sweaters with icy hands and a running nose. That's about 7-8 months of the year and then we have 4-6 weeks with the other extreme ( this week we're sitting at 30+c in many parts of the country with alerts for seniors who live withhout air con.
@@joycekastamonitis2187 Climate change really is doing a number in some countries. The city I live in (in Canada) is reknowned for cold weather ... normally a -40c cold spell for 2-3 weeks every Jan/Feb, then -20c to -30c for another 4 -5 months etc and a short but hot and sunny summer, but in the past several years our seasons have become more extreme. We had a winter few years back where that -40c turned to -50c and it lasted 6 weeks (instead of the normal 2) and it snowed throughout. It normally does not snow here when it drops below -30c. Our hottest months usually include a week or so of 30+c weather but several years ago that started changing and we've had weeks of 30+, with one week where it sat at 35c -36c the entire week. Our extremes are becoming more extreme and unpredictable.
I notice your beautiful night light by Jolene! Love it!
I like it!! Thanks.
Water touching the skin is a definite stimulant and as you get older, especially with the temperature change in bathing. It becomes harder for the body to control tactile and temperature changes. And the responses to this change in the body can contribute to the resistance to bathing.
Yes, that's why it's always recommended to shower or bathe in a very warm room. But as some have said here, if it's TOO hot it can cause you to become dizzy or faint.
Of course, stepping out of a shower or bath on a cold winter day is often uncomfortable for anyone!
What about elderly who use a diaper or have a unpleasant odor or refusing to change the diaper. My elderly parent is capable of using the bathroom but has become lazy and will just use the bathroom in her diaper vs getting up and going to the toilet, then we she does use the toilet, cleaning herself properly. It is for this reason we are asking her to take a shower more often to keep up with her hygiene. The shower has hand-rails and slip-resistant flooring as well as a place to sit. I'm pretty sure depression and low self esteem is a major issue.
Thank you for your question and if it does SEEM that depression may be a contributing factor to the problem that your elderly parent is having then I would strongly recommend that you bring this issue up with their physician. Fighting psychological problems is much more difficult than dealing with physical problems so it's not something that should be handled just by the family or caregiver. You need professional intervention in my opinion.
Ask Dr for in home health aide to come to bathe them. A great service, expert in getting dementia patients to bath.
You need to physically help her have a shower . They don't know how to go about having one unless you're there step by step. They don't know how to adjust the water temperature. They don't know what or how to use soap. I tell my mum to come to the bathroom to change her "underwear" ( pull up adult diapers). I put the new one next to the sink and a plastic bag next to it. When she's in the bathroom, I tell her to change." Why?I just changed them" " Mum, that was this morning ". " Oh, okay".
Do not call her lazy. There are many reasons that may cause these issues.
My father in law hasn't bathed in years. It is awful. We got him a walk in shower. We got him a shower stool. My husband has offered to sit with him to make sure he does not fall. His sister has cried and pleaded with him. They have argued and fought and begged him to bathe. He won't. We are so frustrated.
Oh I am so sorry. I know it's difficult and in my experience there is just no battling stubborness. I do hope he is at least taking a sponge bath or something to keep clean. You can also speak to his doctor about the situation (although I assume you probably already have).
You cannot force someone to do something, all you can do is let them live out the consequences of their decisions. If his body odor is so bad, then stop visiting him. Maybe that will spur him to do something about it.
You know, a session with a social worker or counselor may help, mostly the family more than your father but it's worth a try.
Have you tried Nilaqua "towel off" shampoo and soap, you do not need any water or to enter the bathroom at all
I been going through this with my father in law for 2 years 🙏🏽
@@kbaby24johnson it has been 10 years for us. 10 years!!!!! He is completely physically able. Just doesn't want to shower. We had to tell him this year that he can't be around our children if he chooses not to bathe. He decided he was ok with that.
@@jessefford9747 No, we got him body wipes, but he won't use those either. It has been 10 years since he has bathes, so he REALLY needs an actual shower with soap and water.
If you do not have a nonslip mat in shower, you can put down a hand towel or bath towel to prevent slipping. Bath chairs help. Wipes can be used daily to wash face and underarms. And even to wash all over iinbetween showers. Also many elderly cannot stand for along time.
CNA can show you how to do a bath while invalid is bedridden with tub, of soap that does not have to be washed off and water and towel.
Great tips but I would caution about a hand or bath towel on the floor. Those are not anti-slip so I would certainly invest in an anti slip mat. It's easy enough to purchase one on Amazon if you can't get out to the store.
amzn.to/4auhwUw
Or at the very least, put an anti grip product under the towel.
I am in my late sixties, I have stopped showering every day since retiring, I am fully healthy, I walk most days, I don’t emit bad smells, I campaigned heavily for my elderly father not being showered any more frequently than every 3 days when round 90. He could even go longer than that. I myself am able to go several days & do so especially in winter. Frequent showering is overrated & unnecessary. Younger bodies have different needs. Let elderly people make their own choices! Of course support them in sensible ways & any ways required. Having a shower or bath regularly is a fitness activity & is useful from that perspective, it’s up the person’s daily activities they participate in, if that is a reason then they should do it, in my opinion.
I agree with you, it is very important to allow everyone to make their own decisions, as long as they are cognitively able to. The problem comes when someone has a cognitive issue such as dementia. Someone with illnesses that affect their reasoning and judgment need help and it's those folks that can be helped with the tips in this video.
Otherwise, it's certainly up to each person to make their own decisions on how they care for themselves.
@@SeniorSafetyAdvice I very much doubt if a person with reasoning issues would benefit from tips about personal care in a video, they would need individual direct support especially from a family member who is not over the top about frequent bathing themselves.
This was great! Thanks for the insight.
Oh so glad you enjoyed it. I hope the tips will help you and your loved one.
@@SeniorSafetyAdvice They absolutely did!!!!
I am 80. Hate showering, tiring, makes me feel unbalanced. I sit on a shower chair. I shower/shampoo when I know I have a doctor’s appointment or an outing with others. I live alone. I don’t even change my clothes daily. Sometimes I go up to a week living in the same nighty. I have constipation or diarrhea due to multiple diseases so am forced to clean up frequently anyway.
I don’t like the feel of my hair when it isn’t clean but holding my hands over my head makes me tired and dizzy.
I can’t ask my daughter for her help because she will suggest it’s time to move into a facility. I rarely see her as it is. Often only once a month to bring me my mail or packages. I live in her basement so we are separated only by a door and a floor.
It's sad that your daughter doesn't help you more. :( I don't shower often either. I have some of the same issues as you. My wife showers with me so she can wash my hair, because I get too fatigued if I try to reach my arms over my head for long enough to wash and condition my long hair. (It's a lot thinner than it used to be, though, so it is taking less and less time to wash now.) I go with washcloth and baby wipe touch-ups until my hair starts to feel too dirty, then find a day when I have enough energy to face a shower. You should be able to have someone come in once in a while just to help you with hair washing, at least, and not have that result in the threat of being moved, if that's all, or the main thing, you need help with.
I am sorry you are dealing with so many issues.
I would say to keep even more problems at bay, consider replacing your toilet with a bidet. That can at least help to keep your private as clean as possible so you don't have to go through the problems associated with a UTI which are so very common among elderly and especially ones that don't shower or bath for longer periods of time.
No sense in adding to your other health problems.
@@SeniorSafetyAdvice Bidet is a great idea, you can get one that fits onto your current toilet and if the hot water line to the sink is near enough you can hook it up for warm water. Your daughter should be able to get a plumber in to do that for you. She may want one for herself too! After all, she is likely to want to age in place in her home in the future!.
U might enjoy a sr apartment complex
Change your diet and be sure to use quinoa instead of bread, pasta and noodles. BMs will become smooth and easy.
I’m a retired RN and worked in homecare for years. Once a week is pretty good unless incontinence is a problem. Then you deal with skin breakdown. My heart aches to this day for the folks who live alone or have no caregiver to help them.❤️
Oh yes, it's so difficult to grow old alone. Independence is great, truly. But, when you don't have someone to help you when you need it, well, it's heartbreaking as you say.
Thanks so much for your comment.
Very good channel with lots of great information :9) x x
Thanks so much for the comment and compliment!
Glad you are finding the information useful. If you have any ideas on what you would like to see videos on, just let us know.
My husband just told me he is afraid of falling in the tub/shower, so I just bought a shower chair. He has yet to try it out. I already suggested a washcloth & basin of water. He is thinking about it. I dare not tell you how long it has been since his last shower! After watching your video, I hope the seat is not uncomfortable for him (hard). Very informative video.
Oh thank you. And I'm sorry you're going through this with your husband. Hopefully he will be okay with the shower chair. There is a padded chair available at amzn.to/3yyFReB. It holds up to 300 lbs.
Otherwise, hopefully he will begin taking a sponge bath. At the very least for his private areas - that's where medical problems could begin.
I use a hard plastic shower chair since my hip replacement last year. I lay a hand towel or folded regular towel on the chair seat & don’t care if it gets wet while I shower. It’s not even so much for the padding as to keep from sitting on the cold chair. Then they get washed with rest of towels.
@@SeniorSafetyAdvice Thank you, but most shower chairs are too wide for my small tub/shower. I had to get one that would fit. I just ordered a Cobbe Filtered Shower Head (detachable with a 60" cord) to go with the new shower chair, but still don't know if he will use it!
A bidet toilet, bidet toilet seat, or even a water wand attached to the incoming water line of a toilet is a great way to address part of this need. If the elder needs assistance, they can be wearing a nightgown or robe for modesty while the helper sprays.
Yes, that's very good! You are correct.
Great idea!
A hand held bidet (fill the silicone bottle with warm water and squeeze) is a great way to clean the genital area daily.
My significant other is 84 yrs old. He takes a shower every day and sometimes he is somewhat worn out when he comes downstairs. We live in florida and he has a small hand held fan to cool himself off. As relates to toilet paper vs. wipes... I buy and use witch hazel and drizzle on tp works like a charm
Yeah, showering can take a toll sometimes. If there isn't a bench in the shower stall you may consider putting one in.
Witch hazel on toilet paper! I haven't heard of that one. Thanks for the tip.
ATIVAN OR XANAX, most elderly and some not so young have a fear of water on them, especially if they have alzheimers, in the later stages of alzheimer’s do not force to bathe or shower a person that doesn’t want to, it is very terrifying and traumatizing to them. If a elderly person needs ativan or xanax to shower they need assistance and the drug has to be in their system for at least an hour or more before attempting to get them in the shower ! Start the shower and shut the bathroom door to get the bathroom warm, turn up the heat and make sure they are dry and wrapped with a thick robe co i got out of the bathroom! I am a nurse that worked in an alzheimer’s unit and utility care of my mom who had alzheimer’s! GOD HELP OUR LOVED ONES WITH ALZHEIMERS!
Oh thank you so much for your information. Your experience, both professionally and personally are invaluable. I worked with Alzheimer's as well and yes, everything you just said is so very true. I'm sure it will be helpful for others who read this. Thank you.
I am a 66 year old retired ER nurse and I am so sorry to read these stories....My health issues are behind me since I started eating plant based in 2016 and I added ginger chews that relieved arthritic pain completely; I am on zero meds. I have a walk-in shower with a small-tiled floor for traction, a built-in seat, and a bar grip on the wall. What encourages me to step in is a comforting scented shower wash like Dove and warmed up towels (including a spa rug). When everything is warm and smells good, it makes the shower experience a spa treat instead of a chore.
Ah yes, thank you for sharing and for the great tips! I do all those same things as well and I'm 66 too. As a nurse I'm sure you are well aware of how difficult it can be to help someone with dementia to shower and care for themselves. I do hope that some of the tips in this video can help those family caregivers.
66 is young. I worked full time for two attotneys until I retired at 71 1/2, I didn't begin to slow down until shortly after my 86th birthday. In fact, went back to work at 75 taking care of patients who had dementia..
My mom wouldn't shower unless she was going to the Dr. So, we went to as many as I could dream up. Foot Dr. is great for elderly, hers had a medical pedicure technician for quarterly appointments. With twice a year GP and Heart Dr. she stayed clean enough. I also got a sitz bath for spot baths that helped. Tailbone cushions helped with all the sitting as she got less mobile.
Sounds like you figured out how to get around your Mom's reluctance. Good job! And good point about tailbone cushions!
Great idea, and a good laugh to start my day.
My mom had dementia and one time an old man talked to her in the waiting room and she proceeded to tell him all about her sitz bath that morning. I was mortified, but it is funny now.
A loofa mat helps me prevent falls in the shower. When I broke my knee earlier in the year, I was terrified about falling and the shower seemed extra slippery. The loofa mat was a game-changer.
Gotta remember to rinse it and let it dry between uses.
That's great that you found a solution. These days, there are so many ways to make the tub floor and shower floor less slippery. Thanks for sharing.
I am trying to help my 92y/o grandma to remember to wash up. She was always a very clean person her appearance was very important to her…so I promised her as she ages I will help her stay as much herself as possible. Does anyone have tips on how to help someone with beginning of memory issues remember to shower 1-2 a week? I was considering a private calendar for her bedroom to write on 🤷🏻♀️
A calendar can certainly help her if she remembers to use it. So, placing that calendar somewhere where she sees it often may help. Maybe the refrigerator door? An Alexa device can also help. You can set it up so that it will remind her to take a shower every day or whenever.
Another idea is to associate the showering with another task that she does every day. Like brushing her teeth. Putting a reminder, like a note, in the area where she brushes her teeth may work.
2:23 @@SeniorSafetyAdvice
Hi, I’m 70 and have been using a “shower” calendar for a few years now. When you’re retired sometimes the days just seem to roll together like one day. Also, make sure you have a wash-up and clean bed clothes every night.
My grandmother was in her early nineties when she refused to wash. She’d previously been fastidious about bathing daily. This turned to a daily sponge bath and massage with moisuriser and ice gel linament worked into her sore muscles and joints, which she thoroughly enjoyed . Eventually her dementia progressed and she believed she” had a very very very very good wash this morning”. It made me smile. Fortunately she didn’t get smelly, and was willing, usually, to change into clean clothes and let me brush her hair and clean her dentures. We would chat and laugh so she was pretty compliant with me.
Oh, what a lovely memory you have of your grandmother! She must have been wonderful.
Schedule a day or two a week with a senior to stand 😢outside the bath or shower door. From my experience, most are afraid of falling. Call it a spa day.
Absolutely! My mom-in-law lived in Florida by herself and I live in Georgia. So she would call me and I would stay on the phone while she showered. It made her feel safer and it made me feel good that I could help her in some way.
I hate showers, but I love baths. When I only have a shower I definitely bathe less often If I have a bathtub I will take a bath every day cuz it feels so good. Showers are a chore, baths are a pleasure. Great vid, very informative. Thank you.
Thanks so much for sharing!
Same with my 87 year old dad.
It's so difficult isn't it? And it seems so strange to the rest of us but we have to remember that their cognitive skills just aren't what they used to be and certainly are not like ours. It takes pure patience and a ton of love!
Not all elderly people have daily access to a shower. My mother was in assisted living, and they were only allowed to use the communal shower twice a week, on a schedule. She had her own bathroom with a sink and toilet, so she could at least clean herself best she could between showers. Thanks for this video. Caregivers need all the help they can get.
That is true, there are assisted living facilities that use a communal shower and that means scheduled showers. My mom-in-law was in an assisted living but she had her own full bathroom in her room.
Even with occasional showers, caregivers will still find it difficult to get some of those seniors into a shower, most especially if they are suffering from dementia.
And you are right, caregivers, whether it's family or professional need all the help they can get!
My 94 year old grandmother with Dementia is a very prideful women. However, she is having a serious Body Odor issue. I work in the medical field so she tell me it’s because of my career that I can smell so well. Every time our family tries to approach her she argue with us. I really don’t know what to do.😢 I’m not giving up❤.
Some seniors with dementia lose their sense of smell (anosmia). She could have that.
If she tends to wear the same outfit every day, maybe buy her several of the same things so that she's wearing something different (but looks the same) every day. That may help.
Fear is a big issue with seniors who suffer from dementia and taking a shower or a bath is a multi-step process that just may seem overwhelming to her.
Sometimes, telling her that there is a special dinner or outing that she needs to get ready and primped up for may prompt her to wash herself. Even if it's just a sponge bath.
Arguing with her won't help, it only makes it worse.
You basically have to "con" her into washing and caring for herself.
At the end, if making the bathroom warmer and the shower experience as pleasant as you can has not helped, you can look to hire a professional aide who has experience with this issue. It won't be easy but it may be the best solution.
I hope this helps.
I am a nurse's aid. Would never say this to my residents but my mom was a different story. I would say Mom you smell and social services is coming tomorrow to assess you if your not clean they will place you in a facility. So please let's get this done I don't want to put you in the nursing home if you're not bathing you will have to be placed in one and you will be bathed by total strangers maybe even a male aid. Or try the UTI approach tell them do you want to get a UTI because you will if you do not keep yourself clean. Also bribery works well too. I would bribe my mom with the real cup of coffee with caffeine and cake. The UTI thing is actually true.
@@mojojeinxs9960love it!
Love these suggestions! Thank you. I'm deffinatly going to use these. Simple.
That's a great idea! It might actually work for some.
Our neighborhood brought in a private water company where paying the expensive water bill after filling a bathtub daily became quite expensive. It is personally fine to bathe certain parts of the body while realizing it is critical to keep clean. No question getting dead skin flaked off by bathing is desirable.
Yes, that is another consideration, the cost of water. Another reason why sponge baths are a great alternative to showers if it's just too difficult.
My husband (84) doesn’t shower - he does wash at the sink, but that has been becoming less frequent. I hate it. He can’t get in the shower and has trouble with the shower chair - he can’t scoot enough to get under the shower. We’ve gotten “Skunky” wash pads - just get them wet and they get soapy. And no need to rinse , just towel dry.
Maybe an assessment from an aging in place specialist or an Occupational Therapist can help you and him to figure out a better way to set up the shower for him?
Maybe you can get a nice shower head that attaches to a long hose. This way if he can sit on the chair, you can use the hand held shower sprayer and get most of your body wet. Just a thought.
I replaced the shower head with a hand held shower head with a long hose. Easy-you just unscrew the old one and screw on the new one. Mine came with a hook that holds the shower head at the same height as the old one so it can used hands-free while standing (the same as always). I think it cost about $20. I bought a separate inexpensive suction cup bracket that I attached on the wall next to my shower seat. It swivels and moves up and down so I can adjust the spray wherever I want when I choose to use the shower head hands-free. I added a couple of suction cup hooks to hang my bath brushes on. I added a soap dish near at hand and a convenient way to hold my shampoo bottles while seated. I have three very sturdy rails that I can hold onto to help me get up and down from my bath seat and in and out of the tub. Sometimes I use a foot bath that has a scrubby texture on the bottom that helps me get my feet clean while I’m bathing. The hand held shower is also great for rinsing off the shower enclosure walls when cleaning the bathroom.
Just now ordered the Skunky to try for myself. Literally hate to bathe. I DO realize my bottom half needs cleaning, but……as I don’t feel comfortable asking anyone, I am wondering if my underarms are nasty ? Meaning, as we age, is underarm odor AS strong or NOT AS strong as in past years ? At any rate, looking forward to trying out the Skunky. Thank you very much for this suggestion. Hope not rinsing the soap off won’t hurt me !
@@carolcole570surprisingly, my husband does not have any underarm odor.
Thank you for your advice. I'm facing this issue with my client. There are wipes that soap up well with water & no need to rinse.
Oh you are welcome, I hope the information helps. And yes, there are full body wipes that are rinse free! Here's a link to a hypoallergenic one - amzn.to/3V7Jf7y
Im a 65 year old woman with severe osteoarthritis. I live in my mini van because I have to . I finally just now joined Planet Fitness, mostly for the showers,plus a lil movement. Before joining, Ive gone 6-7 not showering. But i have a portable hand held bidet,i use lots of wipes, and i use wash clothes face and deodorant soap in a fast food bathroom. But the diamond discovery in changing my hygiene is ...i always despised my hair so fine and thin lack of body. Thats a lifetime showering and shampooing every day. I use baby piwder on my blonde and gray hair. It has given me more body, fuller a lil wave in this okd hair at last. When i do get a chance to shampoo and shower, i hate my flat lack of body though extremely shiney hair. It takes a week or so to get my new hair back.. Yes we dont need to over clean ourselves.
Thank you so much for your comment. Wow, seems like you are doing the very best you can in your situation. I agree, baby powder in the hair does make it fuller! I'm sure a lot of people don't know that so that's a great tip to share.
And yes, I think that unless you are out sweating or working out - it's not necessary to literally shower every day. Of course, you do want to clean your private parts to avoid risking any infection.
I'm sure that people living in hot humid climates shower more frequently than those living in colder, less humid areas. I think that's normal.
I have another tip to share. If your hair gets staticky,simply take 1 dryer sheet,and very lightly smooth it all over your hair or where the static is starting
Sitz bath tub over the toilet. I’m only 45 but have extreme fatigue at times and have found ways to bath using less energy. I like swinging my legs over the tub and like washing my feet if I’m too tired to bathe. Help them just wash feet! It’s so relaxing. You can get them to sit at the couch and just start with a foot tub. Lay towels on the bed and help them wash their upper body with wipes and no rinse foam.
Wow, sounds like you have a great routine set up there. So sorry you are dealing with so much fatigue at such a young age. Thank you very much for sharing your information.
Thank you for tips to help 😊
You're so welcome!
Reading below, I see that so many have issues as grow older with mobility, etc. I'm fortunate in at 84, I can safely take a shower each evening. But, I do think about the possibilities of slipping in the tub when taking a shower. I know the time will come to take more precautions.
Well, truthfully, the time is now. I'm 66 and have already placed anti slip adhesives on my shower floor, I've installed a grab bar and a bench and a hand held shower head. As an Occupational Therapist, I saw SO MANY patients who simply waited too long to implement safety precautions and as a result, their lives were forever changed (and not for the better).
So, why wait? Why wait for something to happen to take charge of your independence? Do all you can to be as safe as possible for as long as possible.
My family member hasn't bathed in, I'd guess, 10 months. The other part is he's an alcoholic and pee's on himself every night after he gets blackout drunk. He smells like absolute raw sewage. I've tried to reason with him, I've tried yelling. Nothing works. He won't get addiction help and he knows whenever i bring it up, to throw a tantrum and I'll avoid the topic. He's 61, barely eats as well, and I don't wanna spend his remaining time on this earth, arguing. The rest of the family has given up on him and I'm the last one.
What can one do when an elderly family member has given up on life and refuses to get help? He won't go to the DR, he won't bathe, he barely eats, he won't do anything, but watch TV and drink alcohol. I'm open to suggestions anyone can give me?
I am so very sorry that you are going through this with your family member. It's hard to give you any advice because I have no idea if he has dementia or depression or what other issues besides alcoholism he is suffering from.
But, what I can say is that the idea of changing someone is a futile endeavor. You cannot change anyone, they have to do it themselves.
I would recommend that YOU find a counselor / therapist who can help you to deal with this situation and to find solutions that may work for you and your family member.
You can also speak with a social worker or a geriatric care manager about what options may be available for him and for you.
I do hope this was helpful.
Well 61 is quite young, may be addiction is the point ?
Remove alcohol, how does he buy it? Is he driving? If you control his booze, maybe he will do what it takes to get it.
YEARS Ago a shower in the average home was unknown. bath was the way to go. And that was usually only once a week, unless one was very dirty eg men who did heavy dirty .
A sponge bath for private parts was acceptable. Babies and children were the exception, bathed daily.
Remember heating water was expensive.
Tell Him,”CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO GODLY NESS”,then Ask Him ,”Where Do U Think Your Going When U DIE❓👿😈❗️
Skin sensitivity can change with brain issues. A shower of water sets off the survival fight or flight response. I use a washcloth with half water and half alcohol. Rinse with washcloths of just water. This is great care givers advice. Sometimes it is better for a not family member to be the care giver. They can fuss with a adult child.. we liked to have two people to ask them to do a task. Let them pick between two choices. Sometimes the care givers have a strict controling routine. You need not to take over but to enable the folks to do what they want to do or need done. Sometimes I just let them be outside to listen to the bird song. Sunshine is important for vitamin d and helps keep us happy. So many eders never get out side of their nurseing home room. Never get to go outside. I know because I was in a nursing home for two months . Medication made them have nightmares. No visitors. Same ole boreing room with no favorite colors. We need to have respite for care givers. Limit working hours.
All great insights and tips, thank you so very much! And I couldn't agree with you more. Caregivers have an exhausting, never ending job and there's never, ever enough of them for everyone. I worked in nursing homes for years and it was always a struggle.
Need helpful suggestions for weak person getting in and out of garden tub?
A bathtub lift is the safest product for someone to use although it may not fit properly in a garden tub. If that is the case, the safest solution unfortunately is to avoid using the garden tub or replace it with a standard bathtub or a walk in tub.
seniorsafetyadvice.com/products/bathroom/bathtub-lifts/
I’m 70 and shower sometimes 3 times a week depending on my activity for the week. However, I am also a caregiver for my 91 year old uncle which has its moments. I have offered to help him shower but that hasn’t happened. I am new at caregiving so I appreciate some the points you highlighted. He is a pleasant patient but he does have dementia and as of last year is using a wheelchair mostly. We have all the equipment to provide a safe environment, however I do believe it would be better if an outside person could come in to assist as I feel it is a modesty issue. My health is good. I have no problems showering. But my concern is regarding my uncle. Again, thank you for sharing your suggestions.
Oh you are so wonderful to be helping your uncle and I do hope that some of my suggestions help. Every person is so different.
I think you may be right, an outside person may be a better fit to help him shower. Consider contacting a home health agency or even Hospice to see what kind of help they can provide.
Many people think that Hospice is JUST for the last few days of your life but there's much more to it than that and the truth is, they can provide services for years sometimes so it never hurts to ask. Plus, it's all paid for by Medicare.
Best of luck!
Was your uncle in the military? My Dad was and through them a bath aid would come and help him shower. We had a walk in shower installed. As his daughter, I felt it was important for my father's dignity to have some one else help him with that.
I do wish we had a bidet installed and a better heater.
Once a week? I wish! I am still fighting with mine to get one per month!
Mine isn’t even in her 80’s!
Well, I know it's hard, believe me. As an occupational therapist I've been hit and smacked by many elderly who fought me on taking a shower or bathing in any way. You just have to do your best and get professional help when you can. Best of luck.
I was thinking about how people took a bath once a week in the olden days. But they didn’t have medicine resistant staph, or flesh, eating bacteria in the home to deal with. Worse is seeing someone with body, fungus, resist cleanliness. This is what’s happening. I didn’t know. It was going to be like having a six year old in the house and one that fights me just because she used to boss me around!
Is there a private Facebook group?
No, sorry we don't have a facebook group. Have been considering starting one but there are so many groups on facebook about caregiving for seniors. I belong to two that may be helpful for you:
Taking Care of Elderly Parents
Parenting Aging Parents
My step Mother was used to sponge bathing once every week and she did that her whole life even though she had access to a shower. She was born in 1931during the depression and was raised on a farm. She also didn't believe in washing her clothes after every wear because it wore the fabric out more quickly. She always looked neat and tidy and took pride in how she looked. To each their own.
Absolutely. And isn't it interesting how the habits that we all used growing up, be it familial or environmental continue to shape our lives for the rest of our lives. It's fascinating really. Thank you so much for sharing.
This video was very useful.
I have a reverse situation with my mil.
She wants to bathe but I know she is not able to do it herself.
Do you know of an available service, where we can take our elderly to have a good bath ? Is any company offering this service, bathing only ? And do you know if Medicare would cover such a cost ?
TIA to anyone for any information provided !
I am not aware of any service where you can take someone to bathe. You can hire someone (a CNA - Certified Nursing Assistant or a home health aide) to come into your home to bathe your mother in law.
If the trouble is getting in and out of the bathtub you can look into a tub lift which can help her to get in and out of the tub.
I bought a spray hose/nozzle that reaches from sink faucet to toilet with a diverter that acts as a bidet with hot & cold water mix so temp is always comfortable...purchased from Amazon and installed it myself. You may want to stress the importance of cleanliness to avoid a UTI that in the elderly can mimic mental confusion, anger, dementia etc. Often misdiagnosed in the elderly.
Oh absolutely - you are so right. And thank you so much for sharing your story and tip.
Here's a link to a bidet sprayer that connects to the water pipe (not sure what it's called) for the toilet. It may not be exactly what this reader mentioned but it's a great idea!
amzn.to/3WbyZM5
Bathing every day dries out your skin, it's not good for the skin - it's better to reduce bathing/showering to 1-2 times a week and use a washcloth for the "stinky areas" (if they really smelll bad).
Agree 100%.
Showering is not a necessity. My mother was disabled and I washed her thoroughly every morning, no soap on her face, and just a little cleanser for the body so as to prevent unnecessary drying of her skin which remained beautiful until her 103rd year. All her life she used face cream like Nivea. Whatever our age we need to keep clean after using the lavatory. Before bed 'top and tail' carried out easily in a couple of minutes. I like to wash in lukewarm water, never hot.
Well, medical science is backing you up on this. I found it so interesting that this habit of daily washing was not popular or "normal" until the mid 50's and into the 60's. There were several factors that influenced that and one of them was the growing consumer culture (post WWII). During this time marketing and advertising agencies grew like crazy and one of the products they made money on was personal care and hygiene products.
Bottom line is unless the person has a medical condition where they need to shower every day (not sure what that might be though) or of course if they are outdoors sweating, getting dirty, etc. - then showering or bathing every day just is not necessary and may actually be harmful to the skin.
So, you are right on track! Thanks for your comment. And wow, 103!! An amazing feat.
I'm 77 and have only ever showered/bathed weekly unless I'm dirty, as you say, from gardening or doing a deep house cleaning. However, I do take a washcloth and wash the nasty bits every day, change my underpants and incontinence pad after I wash. I have a step-in shower with hand grip bars and a slip proof floor. I imagine with my knees getting bad I'll need a bench, but so far so good.
Wow, sounds like you are doing all the right things. It's so refreshing to hear that and I applaud you! I would say to get a bench because I'm of the mindset of implementing safety before something happens.
Only because I spent so many years caring for older adults who had a silly little accident that could have been prevented if they had just added a grab bar or bench or removed a rug.
Why wait? I think the whole point of aging in place is to make the "place" as safe as possible so that you can age in place for as long as possible and as independently as possible.
@@SeniorSafetyAdvice I probably will next time I go to the pharmacy; my hubby could benefit too - he's 82.
Im 60 and my major health really impacts my home care. I get dizzy,(I have a chair for the shower),Im breathless,I have neuropathy in legs & feet,back pain from arthritis, tremors, heart issues.
I dont go out in public because I have to drag my walker around.I dont even go in my yard. I have 5 different doctors. I get a real long shower. On Dr. appointment days.
(Approximately once a week. ) The rest of the time is baby wipes.
60 years old, whats going to happen in 5 or 10 years. Ill probably be in an assisted living or nursing home.
Right now not one person helps me. Except for shopping snd laundry. No one wants to take the time.
I know it's difficult growing older although 60 is really quite young, so I am sorry you are having so many issues at this stage.
But with so many chronic illnesses you may want to consider a different living situation. If you haven't yet visited any assisted living facilities I would recommend to do so. I worked in some wonderful ones.
Yes, it will require a move and maybe a move to another state to get to a good facility but your issues are chronic so you are right in thinking that it will most likely only get worse, not better.
So, now is the time to take charge of your own health and take care of yourself.
Too many people wait until they absolutely have to make a change and by then it's too late and it just turns into a whole big mess.
Believe me, I've seen it a thousand times.
Take care.
Why should someone help you? I am curious. No one owes you anything!
@nani.9754 Wow your life is complicated! 5 different doctors! Different conditions dragging at your heels. Does your walker have wheels? Some find those easier to use on flat surfaces and in public, maybe the two wheel kind if you don't want the 4-wheeler. But if you can get in your yard, you might benefit from getting outside for 10 minutes or so every day (it probably takes you time to get out the door so might seem hardly worth it but it could help). Is your yard getting overgrown and hard to move in? It can be expensive to have that taken care of, yeah. You do have shopping and laundry help so there is that. Getting more help can be expensive though. Assisted living might work better for you if you can swing it (can be $$$ depending on what is available near you if/when you decide to make that move).
I have gone the baby wipe route because for a time I just did not want the feel of water falling on my skin and baths take a lot of water and getting in and out of the tub. It was a useful adaptation till I got past that point but I keep it in mind.
Very good video. Lots to consider. My Mom hated to bathe and her smell was gone from age and smoking. It was not a good situation!
I typically shower and wash my hair twice a week. My friends think that's weird 😂!!
Oh, I get it! I worked with so many of my patients when I did home health who had a significant odor! But their sense of smell had declined so they didn't notice it. But yes, it's not an easy situation.
Hey, I wash my hair once a week (I do take 3 or more showers a week though - depending on what I do). A hairdresser once told me years ago that all we needed was once a week and I've been doing that ever since. I have to say, my hair is thicker than most at my age so maybe there's something to that.
My mom did not take a shower in a year before she passed. Had the chair and caregiver offered to help her. But no. So best we could do is, sponge baths in bed. She was incontinent as well.
She was ok to have her hair washed in the sink every 3 weeks.
Actually, that's quite common. I worked with so many older adults in hospitals, nursing homes and in their own homes who would do the same thing.
I'm sure it wasn't easy for you and the caretaker.
I'm newly retired. Disabled but have limited mobility. I took a shower every day since I was prob 12 yes old. 3 yrs after retiring Im now only washing up daily. I have a tub which makes getting in horribly scary. I wash my hair once a month in kitchen sink (I don't typically sweat) I use soap on entire body a few times a month. But do a goin/butt wah daily and have a bidet. My husband will tell me if there are issues and I am not. But I'm not that old and I don't have dementia. It sounds so difficult to help your family or patients. I like the idea of sponge baths. Lying on the bed. I'm not sure how to negotiate with someone who is that difficult. Getting old is not for the weak. 😢
I agree with you. It does take courage to deal with the issues of getting older - that's for sure! Thanks for sharing.
God grant my children never have to speak to me in manipulative ways. Ageing sounds like hell.
Well, aging CAN be terrible depending on the person who is aging, the family they are tied to and the circumstances.
That's why it's so very, very important to take control of your life and situation as soon as possible.
1) Take care of your health. Eat right, exercise moderately.
2) Set up your home to be as safe as possible by following the rules of aging in place and universal design.
3) Don't ignore your mental health. Speak to therapists if needed, get out and socialize if that helps you, etc.
4) Be productive and purposeful. Keep working or consulting or mentoring or volunteering. Something that brings meaning to your life.
5) Do for others more than for yourself.
6) Stay positive - let go of the negative.
After 12 years of working with the geriatric population, these are the 6 lessons that I learned and I live by them every day.
I slipped and fell in the bathtub years ago. I am afraid of that happening again. I also find the act of bathing exhausting! I am 70 years old.
Oh that makes sense. I fell off a step ladder almost 10 years ago, fractured my wrist severely and I still have hip pain from that fall. I haven't been on a ladder of any height since!
I would like to think that if you can replace your bathtub with a shower that is curbless and has a seat, slip resistant flooring, grab bars and hand held shower head that it would all be worth it to help you to feel safer.
Otherwise, I certainly understand your reluctance.
I was told that they're afraid of falling in the shower.
Yes, I thought I mentioned that in this video but yes, that is one of the issues that can certainly keep someone from showering or bathing.
If that's the case, then that's when it's best to introduce a shower bench or chair.
Grab bars to hold on to.
Using a hand held shower head and mounting it on the wall next to the bench or chair.
A heat lamp over the shower or bathtub is nice because it also keeps the area warm.
Having the towel or towels within reach of the seated person is important.
Making the shower or bathtub floor as non-slip as possible.
Making the floor outside of the shower or tub non slip as well - use a non slip rug.
Keep non-slip slippers just outside the shower or tub so that the person is not walking around barefoot.
If needed, a seat or bench just outside the shower or tub to make it easier and safer to dry oneself with a towel while sitting instead of standing.
Make sure the area is brightly lit.
I have quite a few articles on our website about these issues. I hope they can help you.
seniorsafetyadvice.com/aging-in-place/bathrooms/
Thanks for commenting.
This was excellent. Thank you so much for your teaching. ❤
You are so welcome!
I have an elderly woman client who refused to take a shower except for once every 2 weeks.
And she wears depends...Any advice would be helpful.
Thank you.😊
Ohh, well that brings back a lot of memories for me working as an OT with older patients. Let me see if I can help you.
1) If at all possible, can you try to find out WHY she refuses to wash more often? You might get some insight about it by seeing how she acts when she DOES take a shower. Maybe the room is too cold. Maybe it's difficult for her to get fully undressed. Maybe she's afraid of falling.
Of course, she may just be very stubborn and want to do anything she can her own way. :)
2) If you can find out what the issue is, maybe you can correct it. Put a heater in the bathroom to warm it up. Ensure that there are soft, non slip rugs on the floor. Try to help with taking off and putting on clothing. If there's no shower chair, add one.
She may still resist, it just depends on her cognitive state.
3) I am assuming she changes her Depends in the bathroom. I wonder if putting a packet of personal hygiene wipes like any of these - amzn.to/3HtWb1b - nearby would prompt her to use them? As long as she doesn't flush them down the toilet. So, you'll need a garbage can nearby as well.
4) If a full shower is not possible, any kind of sponge bath may be helpful, of course.
5) Know that some older adults lose their sense of smell and if she's cognizant enough, you may want to educate her on that. Let her know that just because she doesn't smell how bad she smells, doesn't mean that others don't. And then invite family or friends over. It sometimes helps to have others, not just you, tell her that she needs to wash more often. Of course, this only works if she's not in a state of dementia or Alzheimer's.
Let me know if any of these helped.
Your video very opportunely landed in my newsfeed. I’m 76 and shower/bath 2-3 times a week with a spot clean other days. Think it’s enough, hope I don’t smell 😬. But my problem is my very sweet, almost 102 yo Mother who is living in a retirement home. She’s quite independent for her age but losing her eyesight and short term memory and is very easily tired. Staff there have been reminding her on Wednesdays to shower. Last week she refused. She is smelling. I’m not sure if it’s her mouth or body. She says she brushes her teeth. I also have to point out that the clothes she is wearing need to go through a launder which I do for her. I wouldn’t say she’s depressed, seems still sweet and happy and so grateful for everything that anyone does for her 😍. I can’t tell her she smells and make her sad 😩 so I’m going to broach the subject of having a service come in, for however often she qualifies, to give her a hand. Very well done and needed post thank you. Liked and subscribed 👍🏽
Oh thank you so much. My mom-in-law was 102 as well and she also did not pay attention, as she so meticulously did when she was younger to her hygiene. It's actually quite common and I'm sure your mother does not have the sense of smell that she used to.
I think getting staff to help her is a great idea. It's probably just so exhausting for her to take a shower, as it is for most older adults so she just skips it.
Of course, as I say in the video, it's not necessary to shower every single day unless of course you are sweating, working in the yard, etc. So, what you are doing for yourself is certainly the way to do it.
Thank you so much again for sharing.
@@SeniorSafetyAdvice thank for answering!! And yes. Everything tires her out so I can see how she is leaving more and more out of her routine. My sister and I will do everything we can to make her happy and comfortable 💖💖💖💖
Oh, she is very lucky to have you two! Take care.
Food for thought. Older people just may have adapted to a daily wash from the sink, as they grew up with or went through long water restrictions or had no running water.
Absolutely!! I saw that a lot when I worked in rehab hospitals and nursing homes with older patients. It makes a lot of sense. Thanks for reminding us of that.