These are weird hungarian names... in my previous playthrough the game got the hungarian names MOSTLY right, but this time, not so much. The previous king's name at least makes sense - Keresztes means "someone with a cross", so probably an old hungarian version of Christian, it still exists, but not widely used today. But the new king, Menhar? No. A similar name, Menyhért exists as a first name - again, not widely used nowadays - but the only connection between the name Menhar and Hungary I found is an article on the French (!!!) wikipedia, listing it as a hungarian name. Which it isn't. Menhart and it's variations can be family names, according to the Hungarian family name encyclopaedia I've found, but definitely not as a first name. Thank you for reading this comment about the weirdness of hungarian names. Also, our first name comes after our family names.
Okay, the siege of Kraków by the combined forces of Denmark, Venice and the Papal States was truly an epic battle. And something unlike anything I've experienced in my own campaigns, when I just kill everyone instead of bothering with alliances the AI will break anyway.
"The holy Crusade is over and at last, Krakow is no longer in heretical hands! What shall we do now King Jon, righteous Paladin King?" "Let's trick the pope into killing Hungarians and build a brothel!"
I find it funny that Jon keeps mentioning how strange it is that Portugal took Wales meanwhile the Mongols are about to kick the Danish out of Israel, Sicily is trying to kick them out of Corsica, the French are restricted to Spain, Scotland is only holding Ireland, Egypt is holding out in Damascus, etc.
My favorite episodes are when Jon takes a city or two and momentarily turns into Opera. You get a warehouse, you get a warehouse, everybodyyyyyy gets a warehouse!
Those weapons that the Portuguese dismounted knights were using are pollaxes. They were the primary battlefield weapon of plate armored men at arms during the late middle ages. So it is the sort of weapon that your typical English knight would have been using during the hundred years war or the war of the roses. It is primarily distinguished from halberds by the length of the weapon's shaft. Pollaxes tending to be about as long as a man is tall and halberds being in the ball park of 3 meters long.
I had literally just finished watching Lord Skrolk's campaign of infesting the scaly emaciated lizard-things (yes-yes), and then this video emerges. I wonder what the Horned Rat would think of Poland's insolence.
It'd be fun to watch you take on some more battles with a smaller/less equipped force than the enemy. Something where they should win and you need to outmaneuver them and play smart to take the battle
To be fair the only ones that aren't a pet to Jon at this point are the mongols, but also the empire if they put 100% of their forces against the heartland of Jon's Denmark.
The pope let his prisoners go. You should take the settlement that has the port from Hungary after all they did blockade one of your settlements using a ship made there. Poetic justice in a way. We let them have a port they showed they couldn't be trusted with it so now we take it away.
The Daily Hugalu We have found some rats around. I had a dream about one of them scurrying off to this "Denmark" and causing a plague. And last week, I remembered a dream about some rats. I think I can predict the future! Does that mean that dream about Gengh- uh.. Greg becoming a horse will come true?!
Should've indulged the Papal States. They would've stormed those breaches eventually. And, along with the Venicians, they would have won that battle for you.
That's not true. The word chivalry in English does come from the French chevellier which means horseman as the French word for horse is cheval. However the word knight is derived from the Germanic knecht, which means servant or bondsman. So a chivalric knight is actually just a horse mounted bondsman.
Ah! Right you are. I was thinking of the old English 'cniht' which as it turns out means 'boy' or 'boy servant' and I had that confused with 'rādcniht' which is a just a servant on a horse. Your description is more accurate.
"The bible says nothing about mercy. Ok, maybe it does..." Actually, bible says about mercy in general, but nothing about mercy to poles in particular.
if mongols keep it up they will be fighting timurids immediately after they spawn. in my game mongols rushed jerusalem and made it their new home then took whole levant.
Maybe you should start to think of the Imperials as friends. They have held a border with you peacefully since the near start of the game. The Hungarians on the other hand refused every olive branch you held out to them and then attacked you. Destroy them now!
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air but a Norse Axeman The Fresh Prince of Benor Also if you like Norse Axemen swinging so much why did you object to Benor getting with your housecarl
MATN MTW Drinking Game. 1 shot for every flip 1 shot for everytime he misidentifies a general as a king 1 shot for every Portugal is just weird like that 1 shot for every momentarily Any other suggestions
I'm curious as to why you didn't join the crusade on multiple armies to save on upkeep and have them move quicker. It would have been pointless on a lot of armies in the west, but you could have, for instance, joined the crusade on the army you have heading east to finish off the last Russian settlement. As far as I know, you are only not allowed to attack Catholic factions with a crusading army, thus allowing you to finish off those filthy Orthodox Russians while under a banner of the cross! Btw, love the channel, only just found this a few weeks ago and binged through RTW and only just now caught up to date on M2TW.
Desertion. If a crusading army doesn't make sufficient progress torwards the actual city the crusade is against, men will very quickly start to desert the army.
Valid point, but you can still have them become a crusading army for a turn or two without any risk, so if you know specifically when you're going to take the crusade objective, you can plan to get some free upkeep, extra movement points, and the icing on the cake, extra experience gain for every unit that was technically "crusading" once the objective is taken, regardless of whether they were present at that settlement or not. I was only recently playing a game where I had 83 units gain experience after I took a crusade objective. Granted,.. experience in M2TW is literally quite trash considering you only get like +2-3 melee attack at 3 golden chevrons, but it's still satisfying to see all those troops gain experience.
"I love Norse axemen. If I could marry them I would."
Careful Jon, remember how things turned out with the last Norse axeman you married.
Rigged murder!
Holy shit
I still don't want to believe Benor's death was canon
I commend you, Jon, wanting Caernarvon within your clutches is truly a noble Portu-goal.
This comment caused me physical S-pain.
That picture
The papal states just got way too amused looking at giant blocks of stone falling
Holy breach?
I thought you were going to say 'Glory hole'
The mighty priest-king thrust his armored spearhead through the red tunnel to disgorge lots of white in the central area of the Polish.
Hole-y breach XD
Trying to bust one out while your city is being sieged by 3 different armies is a tough nut
When Jon says that he'd marry a Norse axeman well... Bennor was technically a nord axeman and we all know how that turned out.
oh no!! :P
"Til death do you part."
when he said popeometer i just lost it lol
that cracked me up too
"I love Norse Axemen so much, if I could marry them I would!"
You did marry one Jon, you did. Then shouted him off a high place...
I've really missed the AI Battle narration from Rome, so this episode was a pleasant surprise.
Jon, you already married a Norse Axeman. Then you threw him off a freaking bridge with your voice!
The Welsh broke because they forgot to eat their pre-battle leeks.
These are weird hungarian names... in my previous playthrough the game got the hungarian names MOSTLY right, but this time, not so much. The previous king's name at least makes sense - Keresztes means "someone with a cross", so probably an old hungarian version of Christian, it still exists, but not widely used today. But the new king, Menhar? No.
A similar name, Menyhért exists as a first name - again, not widely used nowadays - but the only connection between the name Menhar and Hungary I found is an article on the French (!!!) wikipedia, listing it as a hungarian name. Which it isn't. Menhart and it's variations can be family names, according to the Hungarian family name encyclopaedia I've found, but definitely not as a first name.
Thank you for reading this comment about the weirdness of hungarian names. Also, our first name comes after our family names.
Pacsi! Jó látni itt magyar kommentelőt és nézőt :D
Okay, the siege of Kraków by the combined forces of Denmark, Venice and the Papal States was truly an epic battle. And something unlike anything I've experienced in my own campaigns, when I just kill everyone instead of bothering with alliances the AI will break anyway.
What a night for total war
Jon has spent weeks coming up with puns for every settlement on the map, hasn't he?
Days, he's very good at making punny titles at this point I assure you.
"The holy Crusade is over and at last, Krakow is no longer in heretical hands! What shall we do now King Jon, righteous Paladin King?"
"Let's trick the pope into killing Hungarians and build a brothel!"
As the Paladin Prince declared: "Fuck it"
And thus it was fucked by all
Double Total War day! Bless you, Jon!
Also, who the hell disliked this video THIS quickly?
I blame Portugal. their mad enough to dislike it
Portugal are mad enough to like the video where they inevitable get wiped off the map.
Builds 6 siege towers, gets on the walls with ladders.
I find it funny that Jon keeps mentioning how strange it is that Portugal took Wales meanwhile the Mongols are about to kick the Danish out of Israel, Sicily is trying to kick them out of Corsica, the French are restricted to Spain, Scotland is only holding Ireland, Egypt is holding out in Damascus, etc.
My favorite episodes are when Jon takes a city or two and momentarily turns into Opera. You get a warehouse, you get a warehouse, everybodyyyyyy gets a warehouse!
Those weapons that the Portuguese dismounted knights were using are pollaxes. They were the primary battlefield weapon of plate armored men at arms during the late middle ages. So it is the sort of weapon that your typical English knight would have been using during the hundred years war or the war of the roses.
It is primarily distinguished from halberds by the length of the weapon's shaft. Pollaxes tending to be about as long as a man is tall and halberds being in the ball park of 3 meters long.
If you don't already, you should check out Lindybeige's channel! He has a lot of other good historic facts and I feel has rather good dry humor.
Two Total War games in one day, is it Christmas.
Time to bring the Danish Nutcrackers.
I think the Hungarian army stuck around because the Pope ransomed/released his prisoners.
44:07 Seems Jon’s found his Medieval 2 version of Julianus Vatinius.
cmon, just 40 or so turns...... don't win just...yet
I'm pretty sure Jon will wait for all events to fire so you will get there in time Timmy.
The Timurid Horde you'll probably get here before the Mongols
hahaha
Gabe Newell Half Life 3 will be out before the mongols attack
57:12 “He’s like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, except he’s a Norse Axeman”.
I made it almost an hour without snarfing. Thanks Jon
As always, titles don't disappoint.
I had literally just finished watching Lord Skrolk's campaign of infesting the scaly emaciated lizard-things (yes-yes), and then this video emerges. I wonder what the Horned Rat would think of Poland's insolence.
Alasdair Goudie nothing they are equals
KILL-CRuSH THE POLE-THINGS!
"Papper, meets siccors!"
Jon you are just the best
Jon ladders can run
DexterJk
Annoyingly he does actually know this lmao
Even since Rome 1 he has known. Bastard.
It's very funny, looking back, how Jon so confidently predicted that now the Great Bumbling was over for sure.
Those Papal state units did NOTHING, so much for a great fight...
It is best to win the war without fighting young grasshopper.
You could say they are the "late lord Papal States" of the battlefield. Beware...Their weddings end terribly...
Liam McCue NOBODY EXPECTS THE FREY INQUISITION
In north east Denmark born and raised on the garrison is where i spend most of my days.
It'd be fun to watch you take on some more battles with a smaller/less equipped force than the enemy. Something where they should win and you need to outmaneuver them and play smart to take the battle
The papal forces went Old Testament on the Hungarians.
You shake block off Ireland with a fleet and just keep the scots as a pet for the rest of the game
To be fair the only ones that aren't a pet to Jon at this point are the mongols, but also the empire if they put 100% of their forces against the heartland of Jon's Denmark.
2h of total war with jon today... Jon is spoiling us \o/
The pope let his prisoners go. You should take the settlement that has the port from Hungary after all they did blockade one of your settlements using a ship made there. Poetic justice in a way. We let them have a port they showed they couldn't be trusted with it so now we take it away.
How many territories does John have now? He must be close to getting the total to "win" the game (Of course he will show the hordes)
Anyone else see the Norse axemen sweep a guys legs and send him cartwheeling?
The Daily Hugalu
We have found some rats around. I had a dream about one of them scurrying off to this "Denmark" and causing a plague. And last week, I remembered a dream about some rats. I think I can predict the future! Does that mean that dream about Gengh- uh.. Greg becoming a horse will come true?!
I take it I didn't get the job, did I? Aw well, time to kill some pagans. Hey, do you know the name of Hugalu's god?
Jon the Dismounted Portuguese Knights killed more Norse Axemen then vice versa also a fair amount of their swings were parried
The bastards left me alone in Rome!
The odds are are roughly 1 in 25 million that a random stranger will one a MATN fan
Welsh spearmen broke the top cavalry, but THEN a relief unit should harass. By not rotating in reserves and resting units, they tire then break
Now that's what I call a proper polish rear-examination!
That pun. All hail the glorious puntitle.
Jon, it's not "in come the horses," it's "here come the pretzels."
Jon, the game in the description is wrong. This is Medieval 2 not Warhammer II
I'm glad that Europe is back to normal
A Dothraki Horde in the open field Ned
"They've got proper leather armour," he says looking at guys wearing cloth armour. :P
last time i was this early jon was not at war with anyone
Wie schwer kann es sein Polen einzunehmen? Wir würden es in wenigen Tagen schaffen.
Bad Germany! No invading Poland!
Jon did you forget about Paris and Russia?
I still petition to rename Moss Cow to Jazzy Cow in honor of the greatest NPC Skyrim has ever seen
Should've indulged the Papal States. They would've stormed those breaches eventually. And, along with the Venicians, they would have won that battle for you.
Fun fact: If you look at the root words of 'Chivalric Knights' it turns out that term just means 'Horse riding Horse riders.'
That's not true. The word chivalry in English does come from the French chevellier which means horseman as the French word for horse is cheval. However the word knight is derived from the Germanic knecht, which means servant or bondsman. So a chivalric knight is actually just a horse mounted bondsman.
Ah! Right you are. I was thinking of the old English 'cniht' which as it turns out means 'boy' or 'boy servant' and I had that confused with 'rādcniht' which is a just a servant on a horse. Your description is more accurate.
"I Love Norse Axemen, If I could merry them I would" - I think Jon misses Benor that chunk of delicious Norse Axemen...
Good video Jon
Hah! The Papal States were moving at the last moments of the battle!
Getting the Pope involved in your conflict with Hungary was your fee for all that damage he did to _your_ walls.
jon i love your puny titles
two total war vids, nice
:)
You might remember Jon you did marry a Norse axeman once, then in a fit of jealous rage you murdered him...
Can someone explain to me on the mini map why some regions are a light red with like a splash of dark red?
Brutal Fates the dark areas are those that he has visibility of with spies, units, watchtowers, etc.
"The bible says nothing about mercy. Ok, maybe it does..."
Actually, bible says about mercy in general, but nothing about mercy to poles in particular.
Сергей Оненко And *definitely* nothing about Polish kneecaps!
*How did you mod it so that when you Leave the unit's vicinity that they don't turn into Little dots thingy's????????????*
The mongols are coming - Jon: How about another war then?
The papal pavise crossbowmen carrying the flag of Sweden for no well explained reason...
Do I smell a new Julianus Vatinius?
A third you mean: the second was Sighvat Stenger
No. The Vatinius was one of a kind.
Poor Poland, always getting ganged up on
Scott Elder well that much is historically accurate
i can understand why the mongol AI wasn't patched, since this is a game released in 2006, and PC games were still released on disc back than,
C'mon Jon, you already married a Norse Axeman in Skyrim.
Omg stop walking your ladder guys!!
Like the fresh prince of belaire...but a norse axemen.
How long ago did you record this episode?
Those Norse Axemen are lucky you marrying them isn't a thing in this game, with your black widow spider self..
Jon wants to marry Nord axeman. But they'll just betray him in the end...
if mongols keep it up they will be fighting timurids immediately after they spawn. in my game mongols rushed jerusalem and made it their new home then took whole levant.
Lustria is looking strange today...
Jon, you tried to marry a norse axeman once and it didn't work out.
Maybe you should start to think of the Imperials as friends. They have held a border with you peacefully since the near start of the game. The Hungarians on the other hand refused every olive branch you held out to them and then attacked you. Destroy them now!
I feel kinda bad for the Hungarians.. they showed up for a crusade, and got excommunicated and attacked by the pope for their trouble :3
After you win Will you start another medieval 2 Campaign ? :)
vladimir putin a portugal role play game
I think France is about Toulouse this war. So sad. (Has this been done yet?)
yep
Only about fifty times, including in at least one episode title.
So I think you can still wring a few drops of originality from it.
So.....what comes after Medieval 2?
DragonHarrierGaming empire?
The colour's of the Papal States are blue and black not white and gold.
I've seen the pope take Thessalonica, he just had that and Rome
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air but a Norse Axeman
The Fresh Prince of Benor
Also if you like Norse Axemen swinging so much why did you object to Benor getting with your housecarl
you married an axeman Jon, and you ended his life because he cheated on you..
"The old Pope-o'meter"
So punny
yay nother vid
finally!! *God Dammit!!!*
Here's a good joke the mongols
MATN MTW Drinking Game.
1 shot for every flip
1 shot for everytime he misidentifies a general as a king
1 shot for every Portugal is just weird like that
1 shot for every momentarily
Any other suggestions
Not Karl Pilkington I cosplay as eggcartons too 1 shot for every Lances down
I'm curious as to why you didn't join the crusade on multiple armies to save on upkeep and have them move quicker. It would have been pointless on a lot of armies in the west, but you could have, for instance, joined the crusade on the army you have heading east to finish off the last Russian settlement. As far as I know, you are only not allowed to attack Catholic factions with a crusading army, thus allowing you to finish off those filthy Orthodox Russians while under a banner of the cross!
Btw, love the channel, only just found this a few weeks ago and binged through RTW and only just now caught up to date on M2TW.
Desertion.
If a crusading army doesn't make sufficient progress torwards the actual city the crusade is against, men will very quickly start to desert the army.
Valid point, but you can still have them become a crusading army for a turn or two without any risk, so if you know specifically when you're going to take the crusade objective, you can plan to get some free upkeep, extra movement points, and the icing on the cake, extra experience gain for every unit that was technically "crusading" once the objective is taken, regardless of whether they were present at that settlement or not. I was only recently playing a game where I had 83 units gain experience after I took a crusade objective. Granted,.. experience in M2TW is literally quite trash considering you only get like +2-3 melee attack at 3 golden chevrons, but it's still satisfying to see all those troops gain experience.
Pretty sure you can exploit it too by turning them on crusade, marching the extended distance, then turning them off crusade with no penalty.
Normally I'm a puns lover, Jon. But seriously the pun in the title is just too horrifying.
Klomkling keep your aengers down dude you Caen t Toulouse your temper