I've been in a neurodivergent relationship for almost 19 years and agree with everything you said! My husband struggles with #2 and I have learned that #3 is so important! It makes the time we do spend together much more enjoyable.
Thanks for the advice I find I have melt downs a lot because I have severe arthritis and it affects my daily tasks badly. Like if I try to go out for a day even just to visit family by the time I get home I can barely walk and am in an immense amount of pain and then it takes me days to start to feel better. And this affects my relationships badly as well.
I really really really love this video, I never really knew why I'd get upset over certain things until I watched this video. It really made me understand things better, hopefully I'll be able to put it to good use. 😊 I now know why I absolutely love making organizational charts. Thank you 😊
I just started going out with a 50 something lady with autism. I really like her, but I don’t know much about autism. I’m watching videos like yours so I can understand her better. Do you have any videos that would be good for me to watch?
I am 100% sure if I were to be evaluated that I would be diagnosed as on the spectrum, but it is very difficult in the US at least to get diagnosed. Especially if you live in a rural area like I do. I’d like to get a diagnosis but was told insurance wouldn’t cover the evaluation and that it would cost 2-4 thousand out of pocket just to get a diagnosis. And that is just too much money to be worth it.
Choose the right partner guys... someone who listens more than fight, the girl/guy that feels the need to defend themselves everytime is not the one for you. A soft and soothing voice is just a plus
Agree. That’s why my relationship ended 🥹. He just couldn’t relate to me and just said it’s not a big deal. Everything’s fine. I don’t see the problem etc etc. left me sad and not validated so I still had the feelings and things would go in circles
What do you do when everything has to be his way, and all his effort is geared to his comfort? I feel like a tool . Then I am made to feel selfish like I am asking for too much. He can contact me at any time, but I have to email him and sometimes I don’t get a response for two days, and his excuse is that he was drained because of work, or because he didn’t get enough sleep. I love him but I feel coldness from him when I am in his presence. What do I do? Do I give up. Is there a chance at all for us?
This is very difficult to answer. The best advice anyone can give is for you to go with what you feel comfortable with. The reason I'm saying this is because on one hand one can assume from the information you've given that he doesn't care or shows no effort but on the other hand, you can also think that he actually loves you but life just keeps getting in the way. The only thing I can suggest is to have a serious conversation and to really illustrate how this sort of treatment has you at odds. Most of the time you have to put the responsibility back onto their shoulders to see if they really want things to flow or not.
@@paulinehowell7736 happens to the best of us don't worry. Sometimes it's good to have the difficult conversations and give some time to allow yourself and then to think about everything.
I can relate. Everything was on his terms. No sacrifice or compromise as he just didn’t get my needs. Had to be on his routine or I’d never see him. He’d go 4/5 days without seeing me and not even give it a second thought. I like my own space but it gave me serious anxiety not knowing where I stood even tho he’d say he loved me. I just never felt it because there was no effort initiation etc
@@TheAspieWorldI see, cool. Hope your well. Do you have an understanding of Hyperacusis. I believe that it is this process/disorder that synchronises two quiet background songs together into one and amplify as it when listening or tripple layered music
my 27 yr old autistic son signed up on it today and got an email that his video was not approved and sounds like no instructions or information given. Doesn’t sound neurodivergent friendly so far. Do you know the creators? This is concerning since it seemed like just another “rejection” or not fitting in situation sadly.
Im 36 years old with autism lives in sweden🇸🇪 and i have no friends and never ever had a girlfriend in my life and i never ever want to have a kid or be with someone who has a kid already.
I have tried to get into Collage several times. All unsuccessful for one reason or another. They don’t respond to emails. I even got as far as giving payment info and then couldn’t log in. It is driving me to meltdown I am so upset. Now I have missed the deadline for the free year! Any idea how i cancel the subscription…anyone??
@@TessaCoker that’s a shame, guess they must be having some technical difficulties. I couldn’t get onto their website either. Feel a bit weird about them having my weird video interview that I uploaded 😐
@@sadieADHD God, yes! I did 3 different vids trying to sign up. All were awful. I don't do FaceTime, Zoom or any Telehealth. No one would have friended me anyway probably 😉
How do you support ones needs while asking them to support yours without the feeling like your giving in and feeling like you have to do each task you autistic partner wants but still being able to say no and not feel bad
My 27 yr old autistic son signed up on Collage Connections today and got an email that his video was not approved and sounds like no instructions or information given. Doesn’t sound neurodivergent friendly so far. Do you know the creators? This is concerning since it seemed like just another “rejection” or not fitting in situation sadly.
I've been in a neurodivergent relationship for almost 19 years and agree with everything you said! My husband struggles with #2 and I have learned that #3 is so important! It makes the time we do spend together much more enjoyable.
33 years with a neurodivergent husband and 20 with a similar son. Takes a lot of patience (both ways) but it’s worth it
❤❤❤ same here ❤❤❤
THANK FOR ALL YOUR HELP IN THIS COMMUNITY! WE APPRECIATE YOU!
🥹🥹🥹🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶
❤❤
Thanks for the advice I find I have melt downs a lot because I have severe arthritis and it affects my daily tasks badly. Like if I try to go out for a day even just to visit family by the time I get home I can barely walk and am in an immense amount of pain and then it takes me days to start to feel better. And this affects my relationships badly as well.
I’m in a six and a half year relationship with the most beautiful and faithful partner I could ever ask for.
(Been engaged since February!)
Congratulations!! Started planning yet? Where is the reception!!!!
🎉❤❤❤
Thanks for the video! I enjoyed it and found it thought-provoking and helpful!
Thank you so much for the comment!
I really really really love this video, I never really knew why I'd get upset over certain things until I watched this video. It really made me understand things better, hopefully I'll be able to put it to good use. 😊 I now know why I absolutely love making organizational charts. Thank you 😊
I just started going out with a 50 something lady with autism. I really like her, but I don’t know much about autism. I’m watching videos like yours so I can understand her better.
Do you have any videos that would be good for me to watch?
I am 100% sure if I were to be evaluated that I would be diagnosed as on the spectrum, but it is very difficult in the US at least to get diagnosed. Especially if you live in a rural area like I do. I’d like to get a diagnosis but was told insurance wouldn’t cover the evaluation and that it would cost 2-4 thousand out of pocket just to get a diagnosis. And that is just too much money to be worth it.
Choose the right partner guys... someone who listens more than fight, the girl/guy that feels the need to defend themselves everytime is not the one for you. A soft and soothing voice is just a plus
Hey from The States!
sorry but the most significant problem between NT an ND partners is COMMUNICATION about feelings etc.
Agree. That’s why my relationship ended 🥹. He just couldn’t relate to me and just said it’s not a big deal. Everything’s fine. I don’t see the problem etc etc. left me sad and not validated so I still had the feelings and things would go in circles
I don’t want a relationship where I have to explain and to have so much patients with an adult. I’ve tried for 2 years I’m losing myself
Snuggling sounds nice. I remember that
What do you do when everything has to be his way, and all his effort is geared to his comfort? I feel like a tool . Then I am made to feel selfish like I am asking for too much. He can contact me at any time, but I have to email him and sometimes I don’t get a response for two days, and his excuse is that he was drained because of work, or because he didn’t get enough sleep. I love him but I feel coldness from him when I am in his presence. What do I do? Do I give up. Is there a chance at all for us?
This is very difficult to answer. The best advice anyone can give is for you to go with what you feel comfortable with. The reason I'm saying this is because on one hand one can assume from the information you've given that he doesn't care or shows no effort but on the other hand, you can also think that he actually loves you but life just keeps getting in the way.
The only thing I can suggest is to have a serious conversation and to really illustrate how this sort of treatment has you at odds. Most of the time you have to put the responsibility back onto their shoulders to see if they really want things to flow or not.
Thank you. I am trying very hard to see life through his eyes.
@@paulinehowell7736 happens to the best of us don't worry. Sometimes it's good to have the difficult conversations and give some time to allow yourself and then to think about everything.
I can relate. Everything was on his terms. No sacrifice or compromise as he just didn’t get my needs. Had to be on his routine or I’d never see him. He’d go 4/5 days without seeing me and not even give it a second thought. I like my own space but it gave me serious anxiety not knowing where I stood even tho he’d say he loved me. I just never felt it because there was no effort initiation etc
He is autistic and so am i. Both on ther end of the spectrum.. its not easy. Still learning to know each other after a year and a bit.
This seems more like advice for any relationship
Is this a late release, av seen you mention the collage app before xx
Yes the app is live and is awesome I am on there😆
@@TheAspieWorldI see, cool. Hope your well. Do you have an understanding of Hyperacusis. I believe that it is this process/disorder that synchronises two quiet background songs together into one and amplify as it when listening or tripple layered music
my 27 yr old autistic son signed up on it today and got an email that his video was not approved and sounds like no instructions or information given. Doesn’t sound neurodivergent friendly so far. Do you know the creators? This is concerning since it seemed like just another “rejection” or not fitting in situation sadly.
Im 36 years old with autism lives in sweden🇸🇪 and i have no friends and never ever had a girlfriend in my life and i never ever want to have a kid or be with someone who has a kid already.
Can you please link the website/app? I would love to check it out.
I have tried to get into Collage several times. All unsuccessful for one reason or another. They don’t respond to emails. I even got as far as giving payment info and then couldn’t log in. It is driving me to meltdown I am so upset. Now I have missed the deadline for the free year! Any idea how i cancel the subscription…anyone??
I’ve tried registering and have gone through everything up to them sending me a OTP but I’m not receiving it 🤯
@@sadieADHD I gave up and cancelled my subscription. Probably would have wasted time !!
@@TessaCoker that’s a shame, guess they must be having some technical difficulties. I couldn’t get onto their website either. Feel a bit weird about them having my weird video interview that I uploaded 😐
@@sadieADHD God, yes! I did 3 different vids trying to sign up. All were awful. I don't do FaceTime, Zoom or any Telehealth. No one would have friended me anyway probably 😉
@@TessaCoker I’m sure they would have! If I do ever manage to get on there I’ll let you know 😊
How do you support ones needs while asking them to support yours without the feeling like your giving in and feeling like you have to do each task you autistic partner wants but still being able to say no and not feel bad
I seem to have autism, and for some time I dated an epileptic woman, since her mind was damaged we had some communication issues.
0:13- Really? You use that weird "aspee" word that nobody calls autism before. Lord Jesus.🤦♀️
My 27 yr old autistic son signed up on Collage Connections today and got an email that his video was not approved and sounds like no instructions or information given. Doesn’t sound neurodivergent friendly so far. Do you know the creators? This is concerning since it seemed like just another “rejection” or not fitting in situation sadly.
I was going to try but the video interview immediately put me off
@@Jacquie3356a video seemed so neurodivergent unfriendly for sure. My son felt the same and gave up on it