Dog trainer here! I’m guessing she’s too scared of people at this point to take food from them or even eat food they’ve thrown on the floor (correct me if I’m wrong!) in terms of socializing her outside your home I think your best bet is to just continue to let her decompress and feel safe with you before pushing those boundaries. She needs to know nothing is expected of her yet. As for in your home-as someone else said, have guests ignore her and have everything be on her terms. Create a setup when you have people over where there’s a boundary between her and people, but where she’s still able to see and hear the guests (aka not closed off in a room). Just let it completely be on her terms and as she continues to open up she’ll start to slowly make the choice to come closer and closer. Once she’s settled in more you could do some matwork with her and have her designated “place” (like a bed or mat) to settle on with the knowledge that no one is going to encroach on that space. You’re doing a great job with her Estee and I can’t wait to see her continue to come out of her shell 🥰
Oh oops I just got to the part where she was in fact eating out of your friend’s hand 😅 that’s great! Rather than reach into a place she’s hiding like that have people sit sideways from her, not facing her head on, and without looking at her or talking to her have them toss her food, and try gradually tossing it farther and farther away to see if she’ll inch out a little bit. All on her terms and she won’t feel cornered :)
The mat / bed thing is key! We have a rescue dog who was neglected (tied in a yard for years with hardly any food or human contact) and he has hectic anxiety. The thing that comforts him the most is when we tell him to get on his mat. He knows it’s his safe place to be calm and that nobody will address him or come up to him when he’s on his mat.
Yes, i think in essence you should not put any pressure whatsoever on a fearful dog, because the dog is already overwhelmed! As Cesar Millan puts it: No talk, no touch, no eye-contact when it comes to strangers. Also it might help if Estee talked less to Effie and instead focuses building the trust silently!
If you force Effie to push her boundaries and let other dogs and people go towards her even though she's scared, it might eventually lead to aggression issues as she is forced to defend herself as she cannot flee anywhere!
Aw Essie, I'm so glad God sent Effie to you. You are the best dog mom, so kind and gentle with her and so patient. She's lucky to have you and you probably saved her life Es ❤️
We rescued a German Shepherd 6 months ago and the trainers are guessing that she never met any other people or dogs in her last home because when we got her she was scared of everyone and everything. It was probably 4 months straight where every walk we took, we gave her a treat when she saw anything we thought she was scared of. Now I can honestly say she loves most people and dogs, turns out it's just a crazy amount of positive reinforcement. It's a lot of work and you have to keep lots of small treats with you at all times, but it worked for us 😊
jacquelyn.pearce this is so helpful ..thank you! I have a standard poodle with extreme stranger anxiety and fear of anything unknown. She’s even scared to walk by things people place on sidewalk during her walks. I’ll definitely try this advice .. she’s gonna be so full lol :)
Such an inspirational vlog ..from decluttering to time we'll spent with good friends and then spin class. Taking care of emotional and physical health. But it's your gentle patient love with Effie that pulls at my heart. I have a shy pup also...and I am shy and introverted. Mary (the dog) and I try hard to get out of our comfort zone and meet new friends ..dog and human but I also have to remind myself that dogs will have distinct personalities like humans and she just might be a one friend gal. I am so lucky that she chose me to love. So to Effie from Mary ..thank you for sharing your story.
Our dog behaviorist recommended when visitors come over they completely ignore our rescue pup (Lily) and just toss kibble at the ground around her. She’s very food driven so it helps her to see new people as a food source. It’s helped a bit... but it’s a work in progress. Day by day! Effie is a lucky lady to have you!
Jessica Benaglio yes same! We were recommended this, the ignoring trick works. Also having guests sit down on the ground at her level, speak quietly, don’t move towards the dog until she comes to them
Effie is everything! 🥰🐶 I just loved seeing her want her mum at 2:10 ...she's unsure of everything but mum is her safety net! 💞 I have a feeling that sharing her journey with all of us is going to do great things for others watching. Some people adopt dogs in need and then when they realise it's hard work they're willing to give that dog back. Seeing your journey with Effie may help somebody else understand that the hard work is absolutely worth it. 💛🐶
I just yesterday got a 4 year old beautiful grey cat to foster from a good friend that feeds and cares for a colony of feral and stray cats. This friend has been trying to socialize her for a long time outside and this lovely cat recently decided to try indoor life! YAY! She's not yet sure if she can completely trust humans but is not aggressive at all. That same friend gave me 2 of her kittens to foster about a year ago and then I found them a wonderful family to adopt and love them. That family wants the mom, too! I will work to socialize her to be ready to meet them. So I understand your concerns of not pushing too hard vs. pushing her enough each day. Building trust is difficult but SO rewarding!!! You're awesome, Estee!
We also got a crate for our rescue and she loves it. It is like her own little room/safe space. When someone knew comes over she can just hide out in there but still see and hear us until she is ready to come give smells and when she is scared she can always go in there, but at this point (2 amazing years in April) she doesn't usually go in there when people are around and is absolutely out of her mind excited when my friends come over. I also posted another comment previously about having everyone ignore her at first. Please Please give that advice a try. Lots of others folks have commented about it as well. The people who are saying to have strangers give her treats in the streets that step won't come until much later in the process.
So nice to see how much you care and respect your pup! I have a reactive rescue myself and get overwhelmed by how much she's grown since I got her. She's still working hard when it comes to some people and all dogs outside. The positive reinforcement (high-reward treats, like the cheese you gave her) during those times should help lil Effie learn to look forward to what she fears now. My only tip with new humans is to almost nonchalantly offer the treats, without the social pressure to interact. When I have visitors over, I arm them with ample treats to literally just throw in my pup's direction only for her to take in her own time. She still associates it with new company and even becomes more curious the longer they stay, sometimes approaching them once she sees that they aren't a threat. Hope this helps! Love following your journey with Effie :)
We rescued a dog about a year ago, she was terrified and had been abused. She wouldn’t go anywhere near my husband for the first month or so. Honestly patience, love, and time is all they need. We would gradually introduce her to people and we would stop to talk to other people on our walks. Not forcing anything and remaining calm like this is normal will help teach them it’s okay. She’s definitely not the most people-loving dog and is still aloof (who could blame her) but she’s gotten so much better! (and she adores my husband now)
Never apologize for being emotional. Estée you have a big heart ❤️ I love how you decluttered. I have the same problem with books. All I keep doing is putting them in a box and then putting them back on the shelf the next day. It’s hard. You are doing amazing by letting go. ❤️ sending you positivity!
Hey Estée! I have a very nervous dog too and bringing him to obedience training really seemed to help! It gives them a chance to socialize with other dogs under the supervision of someone who knows what they’re talking about. Plus you can learn some tricks together and really work on bonding!
I rescued my now 8 year old Yorkie about 1.5 years ago. He was from a puppy mill, severely malnourished, had a broken jaw and needed all his teeth removed because of neglect. He had 7 years living in a cage with what I can imagine only terrible interactions with humans. Honestly, an anxious dog might always stay anxious, at least my experience so far, but I can’t express how much he’s grown through our time together and the bravery I see in him every day! It’s so heartwarming! All that being said, it’s just taken time and love and interaction with other, happy, brave dogs. Sometimes I feel bad thinking I’m pushing him too far but so many things he used to be petrified of are so easy for him now. I also give him so much love and treats for every time he’s done something he’s scared of. That’s what has worked for us!
I found that walks next to someone is very good for my dog to get to know them. In the first walk they don't give him attention, just little by little, every walk. That really expanded the range of people he trusts. It's a very long process but worth it. You seem that you have a lot of patience, and that you are kind.
“So excited to have room to grow. No, I’m kidding.” *nervous giggle* we literally know you’re not kidding because we would see it as room to grow too 😂
Watching this during lockdown is intense! Especially when you're out at dinner at this lovely place full of people *cries* what I would give right now to go out for dinner or coffee!!
Hello Estée! Really enjoy your content and your podcasts! I am from Athens, Greece and I also have a kokoni (half breed kokoni actually)! My Phoebe is 8 years old now and she was also a rescue, she came to us when she was 3 months old and for the first months she would cry non stop, it was a really long journey. But she is the sweetest dog ever! To this day she occasionally gets frightened, especially when we are out for a walk (i.e. if we cross a very busy street). Bear with her, she will come around it just takes time!
Hi Estee, love your vlogs so much! 😍 We've got a saarloos wolfdog at home, which are dogs who are narurally scared of anything and anyone except the 'pack' they know (aka us). To let him get comfortable when we have guests over, the best thing by far is to let them ignore him: no eye contact, no approaching and definitely not reaching out (to pet for instance, this can be terrifying for him with a stranger). What also works is to let strangers sit on the ground (remember everything big and from above is daunting) and with their back to them as a way of ignoring - eventually (after a couple of visits) he'll get used and comes to try and sniff a bit:) that's another thing, try regular visits with the same person to let effie get to know him/her :) she's adorable and you're doing absolutely great, these are just my experiences with a narurally reserved dog. ♥️🤗
Another thing that has really helped in our journey with our dog is a tight shirt helps her feels hugged when new folks are coming by (like you and your weighted blanket!!!) lots of people are recommending medication and that seems so wild to me. it is totally unnecessary at this point and probably ever
two years ago I got a rescue dog and he was also terrified of everything and everyone, what brought him confidence was time and me talking to him in a calm confident manner when he was scared, I would say to him literally "it's ok, there is no reason to be scared, I'm in charge", and really mean it (that's the important part), dogs understand very clearly whom they can trust and who is fucking with them. if you want her to count on you you have to give her time and your confidence in every situation.
you’ll look back on this phase of Effie’s life and realise how far she’s come - don’t feel disheartened! I promise she’ll become more comfortable in the months to come. you’re doing an amazing job ❤️
I love that wall organiser you have behind you in the last clip !! You are also so beautiful and I love listening to your voice and watching your vlogs !! Xx
I know this is an older video but I had to tell you that I bought your Nude Stix kit and ai really love it! I use all of it. It’s the best makeup purchase that I made all year.
I don't own a dog but I follow a lady on Instagram who adopted a little pup with a very sad past life. She just discovered that after a very active time out (like slowly running a mile or so) the pup is feeling very relaxed and trusting. Good luck with Effie, she's so adorable.
We've had our dog, Percy, for three and a half months. He's absolutely come out of his shell but he's still very, very scared of other people. He still has moments of trepidation around my boyfriend. We think a man abused him. What we've learned in the past week is he's extremely jealous so if I'm petting another dog in front of him, he pushes his way in. So, we've had other pet owners playing with their own pets and Percy will run up to them to be pet. Whatever it takes! He loves playing with other dogs though. He was pretty scared at the dog park at first but quickly realized how much fun it was. He even would go near and look at men in the dog park, which he would never do if we were on a street/ he was on his leash. The dog park has been a godsend for his confidence.
A tip for nervous dogs, and all dogs in general, is to use calming signals. If you haven't heard of it before, I'll try to explain quickly; calming signals are signals that dogs use between each other but also to humans and even just to calm themselves. It is part of the dogs language. For example I saw that Effie when she was under the cabinet and the other little dog came, and you said things to encourage her, she was licking her nose. (You know, when she takes the tongue upwards towards the nose). That is a classic calming signal. I believe she did that to say "calm down". Other calming signals are taking a quick look to the side/ looking away and a very clear calming signal is to raise the paw a little bit. I'm sure there's many more, but these are very typical. If a dog does these signals it is to either try to calm down the situation or person or other dog, or even to calm down themselves. When two dogs meet in the street they will usually either take a quick look to the side, lick their nose or a combination of these signals. And it's to tell the other dog that they don't want any trouble, that they are calm and friendly. I've noticed that Effie uses a lot of calming signals in your videos, and that is actually great because it means she has a good language and that she tries to communicate :) The magic happens when we as humans start to use the same signals towards dogs. You can do the same signals towards her, just like she does them. Pretend you're a dog and take your tongue up on your upper lip, look to the side or even better; do both. And she will take it as a sign that you want a calm vibe, no harm will happen, and it will help her stay calm. I also find it very good to approach a nervous dog from the side. Don't go straight towards her or look straight at her, but rather sit down on the floor and have your side towards her. Also when you talk in a high pitch cute voice to give her encouragement she might take it as you being nervous, it can actually accentuate her nerves. Would highly recommend books by Norwegian dog expert Turid Rugaas (they come in English as well), she knows a lot about the dogs language and talks a lot about calming signals. :) Hope this can help. I'm not a dog expert but I have experience with dogs, and I've worked with homeless and very scared cats, and have learned some body language and signals that really helps in the communication.
Big ups to you for doing spin, I hope you do enjoy it! I just quit my class cause it was just too much on my body and it wasn't fun. Also, I second having a mirror by the bed!! Anyway, thanks for another vlog, I am glad to see Effie is getting better, I wish you two all the best !
2 years ago, my adopted dog used to be so agressive and afraid of mops and buckets,he would jump and run away from it. But with time he understood that we would never hurt him like he used to be hurt before in another home and now he is the S W E E T E S T dog, always calm and sleepy. In fact, sometimes i'm walking around holding a bunch of mops, sweepers, buckets, cleaning products and he wont move if i beg him to 😂❤🥰 Effie will feel SO safe...sooner than you expect!!
Something that could work for Effie is if you have random people come by (or out on the street) and give her food, e.g chicken. The meaning behind this is food = good and if people always give her food > people = food = good. I have seen that trick from a dog trainer on you tube
Great vlog you! Effie found such a loving home, you touched me with your reaction to her progress. I think you are great for each other. I wish I could find acupuncturist like yours in Kitchener-Waterloo! Nice work on the organization. I am going to check out the nude stix, I just assumed the shipping would be a killer🤭. Keep on keeping on Chicky 🙋♀️
Did you consider introducing a kennel crate for Effie? Of course it needs to be introduced properly so you don't blow it at the start but man, it is so helpful! Once she considers a kennel her safe space it's just amazing to build her confidence up from there. You could have it in a place from where she can see the whole kitchen and the salon. As a kennel is a semi-covered space (it's a crate right) she could see and be WITH people but be in her safe zone at the same time. A bed or place under the table is not the same as properly introduced kennel crate as those don't create the feeling of closed space :) You never close the kennel gates, you let her sit there whenever she likes. You or anybody else never enter the kennel, you never send her to the kennel as punishment. It's her absolute safe-zone where she can relax and feel protected, where she can calm herself down. My dog can be relaxed and feel safe anywhere now, but there is no place like his own kennel. He sleeps there all night and during the day, when he feels overwhelmed with my guests he goes there to chill, he hides there when we vacuum (the Nemezis, you know XD). Think about it, I believe it might help in the long run :) x
My rescue dog was terrified of every little sound so every time it was just me and my dog I sang to her the same song and then whenever she got scared outside or even inside I kept singing that one song. I guess she associated that melody with everything being okay 🦋
Hi Estée, when i rescued my dog she was terrified of men. So my dad would come over once or twice a week and just sit on the floor and feed her treats. In the beginning, she was still very scared and he had to throw them near her and slowly she would come closer until she would eat out of his hand. But it took about 2 years for her to not be scared of any men anymore
Thank you so much for working to make the Nude but Not Kit have free shipping to North America! 💕 bought one for myself earlier and now again for my friend’s birthday- perfect gift 👌🏻
Our dog got used to people (he was especially scared of men) by having a lot of guests over that were just hanging around, but not necessarily interacted with him, unless he would come to them. He's much better now, he's super comfortable with most people now and if he's nervous it takes him very little to get used to a new person.
We rescued a dog three years ago from greece and she was as shy and scared as Effie when we first got her. She got comfortable with us as a family quickly, but it took time for her to get comfortable with others, espacially with men. We actually invited people over, sat down with them on the carpet and made them feed and pet the dog, so she could gain trust in others. Also when there were people over, we kinda made her stay with us, we pet her and gave her treats and tried to stop her from running away and hiding. It got better with time and now she is so so good with people, still careful and more shy than other dogs, but so much better and she actually likes having people around and gets excited about people she knows. Effie is such a good girl and dogs are so amazing to be able to gain trust in humans again and espacially street dogs being so so loving 💜 much love
My dog is very very anxious and the best way we've found to keep him calm and engage with him is to get on the floor and lie down so he is taller than us. From there we appear much less threatening for dogs with past trauma!
My sister has a cat that reminds me of Effie--nervous, anxious, and scared of just about everything. She has relaxed--marginally--but will sadly be like this the rest of her life. Some wounds are too deep. 😔
Treats and positive reinforcement. My little girl cat is afraid of most things. Trimming her nails was a big deal and she was deathly afraid of it. I did one nail and then in my annoyingly loving high pitch happy voice told her what a good girl she was and that she gets a treat now. After a couple months we trim all of her nails at once! She no longer sees it as threatening or scary. Throughout the process I would allow her to let me know when it was time to stop. Side note- Beth Stern adopted a cat and they were not able to touch for over a year. Hang in there day by day lots of love lots of treats and toys and safety and she’ll get there.❤️❤️❤️
i'm sure you've heard this before but for your knits--don't hang them! to increase their lifespan fold them on top of each other in that cubby in your closet instead. they will stretch out along the neckline and shoulders over time if hung.
she must had been very abused. She is afraid of everything. You need to make her trust in you before anything else, so carry her a lot, give her rubs. It took me about a year to make mine trust me. Physical contact , touch her, talk to her. Feed her with your hand.
when you see her going away you must carry her, comfort her. She is afraid, if you leave her alone, she thinks she is alone. She need to learn that she has you to protect her. Also if you know she doesn't like the noise of that toy, don't make it. You are doing something that upsets her, how can she trust you? My dog get scare of a certaing ringtone in my cel phone. I had to change it. You don't know the meaning of those sound what bad memories are bringing to them.
I think this is all really great advice! but also, she may not have necessarily been abused. I have a rescue FMD who was a puppy on the streets in Taiwan and her rescue organization told us that for a lot of street dogs, their fear was a means of survival (hide when you hear a loud noise, don’t trust anyone too much) and a general reaction to not being socialized during the early months. Also breeds like FMDs and Kokonis have much more alert and suspicious demeanors than some other breeds even when they’re not scared
@@ayebee987 she will not build confidence on herself, she is a dog and needs to feel supported and protected. I had a rescued dog as well, she was afraid of everything and everyone. She never hear the wind, the leaves of the trees, when I took her outside she was so scared looking at everything like if the entire world was going to fell on top o her. Inside the apartment she would only feel secure in the cage but at the same time she didn't want to get in because she was most of her life inside one. She would work in circles inside the cage. She didn't know how to walk on a leash, or how to eat from a plate (still she prefers to spills her food and eat it from the mat I put her plates on. She will see Estee as her master and the person to protect once she feels comfortable with her and the only way to build confidence is being in touch. Touch her, pet her, feed her with her hand, share spaces so they are close together.
Dog trainer here! I’m guessing she’s too scared of people at this point to take food from them or even eat food they’ve thrown on the floor (correct me if I’m wrong!) in terms of socializing her outside your home I think your best bet is to just continue to let her decompress and feel safe with you before pushing those boundaries. She needs to know nothing is expected of her yet. As for in your home-as someone else said, have guests ignore her and have everything be on her terms. Create a setup when you have people over where there’s a boundary between her and people, but where she’s still able to see and hear the guests (aka not closed off in a room). Just let it completely be on her terms and as she continues to open up she’ll start to slowly make the choice to come closer and closer. Once she’s settled in more you could do some matwork with her and have her designated “place” (like a bed or mat) to settle on with the knowledge that no one is going to encroach on that space.
You’re doing a great job with her Estee and I can’t wait to see her continue to come out of her shell 🥰
Oh oops I just got to the part where she was in fact eating out of your friend’s hand 😅 that’s great! Rather than reach into a place she’s hiding like that have people sit sideways from her, not facing her head on, and without looking at her or talking to her have them toss her food, and try gradually tossing it farther and farther away to see if she’ll inch out a little bit. All on her terms and she won’t feel cornered :)
Yes!! all this is what has worked for my rescue
The mat / bed thing is key! We have a rescue dog who was neglected (tied in a yard for years with hardly any food or human contact) and he has hectic anxiety. The thing that comforts him the most is when we tell him to get on his mat. He knows it’s his safe place to be calm and that nobody will address him or come up to him when he’s on his mat.
Yes, i think in essence you should not put any pressure whatsoever on a fearful dog, because the dog is already overwhelmed! As Cesar Millan puts it: No talk, no touch, no eye-contact when it comes to strangers. Also it might help if Estee talked less to Effie and instead focuses building the trust silently!
If you force Effie to push her boundaries and let other dogs and people go towards her even though she's scared, it might eventually lead to aggression issues as she is forced to defend herself as she cannot flee anywhere!
Aw Essie, I'm so glad God sent Effie to you. You are the best dog mom, so kind and gentle with her and so patient. She's lucky to have you and you probably saved her life Es ❤️
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“He poked me in all the right places”
Why I thought of the mirror comment right after she said that lol
😂
ROTFL :D
Estée, decluttering is great but what would be even better is to really think about whether you want to purchase something in the first place
I was about to say that! Letting go but also really thinking hard before you bring more and more new objects into your life
This👏🏻
this is the thought our environment needs!! :)
I'm sure that she will be going forward. It's a process for many people
Funny how people can always see things in others
We rescued a German Shepherd 6 months ago and the trainers are guessing that she never met any other people or dogs in her last home because when we got her she was scared of everyone and everything. It was probably 4 months straight where every walk we took, we gave her a treat when she saw anything we thought she was scared of. Now I can honestly say she loves most people and dogs, turns out it's just a crazy amount of positive reinforcement. It's a lot of work and you have to keep lots of small treats with you at all times, but it worked for us 😊
jacquelyn.pearce this is so helpful ..thank you! I have a standard poodle with extreme stranger anxiety and fear of anything unknown. She’s even scared to walk by things people place on sidewalk during her walks. I’ll definitely try this advice .. she’s gonna be so full lol :)
@@suzannec424 definitely cut her meals down a bit to account for all the treats haha we did that
Such an inspirational vlog ..from decluttering to time we'll spent with good friends and then spin class. Taking care of emotional and physical health. But it's your gentle patient love with Effie that pulls at my heart. I have a shy pup also...and I am shy and introverted. Mary (the dog) and I try hard to get out of our comfort zone and meet new friends ..dog and human but I also have to remind myself that dogs will have distinct personalities like humans and she just might be a one friend gal. I am so lucky that she chose me to love. So to Effie from Mary ..thank you for sharing your story.
💕💕
Our dog behaviorist recommended when visitors come over they completely ignore our rescue pup (Lily) and just toss kibble at the ground around her. She’s very food driven so it helps her to see new people as a food source. It’s helped a bit... but it’s a work in progress. Day by day! Effie is a lucky lady to have you!
Jessica Benaglio yes same! We were recommended this, the ignoring trick works. Also having guests sit down on the ground at her level, speak quietly, don’t move towards the dog until she comes to them
Yes! this! I just shared something similar.
It really worked wonders with our rescue
EndlesslyAnything this works with children too 😆
Just wanted to mention that I think you have such lovely friendships, it's a delight to see 💛💛
I love seeing how Effie brings such joy into your life 😊
Hey! Love to see your rescue journey. You have such a big heart...
"I like having a mirror facing my bed... it serves a purpose sometimes, you know" 😂guuuurl, same 🤣👀🤪
😂
Oh my...gurlll...! 😶 And then the phrase "he poked me in all the right places" after that 😂😂👌🏻👌🏻
Leo af lol
Effie is everything! 🥰🐶 I just loved seeing her want her mum at 2:10 ...she's unsure of everything but mum is her safety net! 💞 I have a feeling that sharing her journey with all of us is going to do great things for others watching. Some people adopt dogs in need and then when they realise it's hard work they're willing to give that dog back. Seeing your journey with Effie may help somebody else understand that the hard work is absolutely worth it. 💛🐶
You should hang plants on the sweater thing and put it back in that corner 🥰
Great ideea!!!
I just yesterday got a 4 year old beautiful grey cat to foster from a good friend that feeds and cares for a colony of feral and stray cats. This friend has been trying to socialize her for a long time outside and this lovely cat recently decided to try indoor life! YAY! She's not yet sure if she can completely trust humans but is not aggressive at all. That same friend gave me 2 of her kittens to foster about a year ago and then I found them a wonderful family to adopt and love them. That family wants the mom, too! I will work to socialize her to be ready to meet them. So I understand your concerns of not pushing too hard vs. pushing her enough each day. Building trust is difficult but SO rewarding!!! You're awesome, Estee!
Closet purging feels so good. I do a “sweep through” of mine twice a year as the weather changes.
Feels so great!
Bless little Effie. She will reward your patience with her trust over the years 💗
I luv Detox day 💛
i love your vlogs so much! they just put me in such a good headspace to get work done and be motivated to go to the gym
We also got a crate for our rescue and she loves it. It is like her own little room/safe space. When someone knew comes over she can just hide out in there but still see and hear us until she is ready to come give smells and when she is scared she can always go in there, but at this point (2 amazing years in April) she doesn't usually go in there when people are around and is absolutely out of her mind excited when my friends come over.
I also posted another comment previously about having everyone ignore her at first. Please Please give that advice a try. Lots of others folks have commented about it as well.
The people who are saying to have strangers give her treats in the streets that step won't come until much later in the process.
So nice to see how much you care and respect your pup! I have a reactive rescue myself and get overwhelmed by how much she's grown since I got her. She's still working hard when it comes to some people and all dogs outside. The positive reinforcement (high-reward treats, like the cheese you gave her) during those times should help lil Effie learn to look forward to what she fears now. My only tip with new humans is to almost nonchalantly offer the treats, without the social pressure to interact. When I have visitors over, I arm them with ample treats to literally just throw in my pup's direction only for her to take in her own time. She still associates it with new company and even becomes more curious the longer they stay, sometimes approaching them once she sees that they aren't a threat. Hope this helps! Love following your journey with Effie :)
We rescued a dog about a year ago, she was terrified and had been abused. She wouldn’t go anywhere near my husband for the first month or so. Honestly patience, love, and time is all they need. We would gradually introduce her to people and we would stop to talk to other people on our walks. Not forcing anything and remaining calm like this is normal will help teach them it’s okay. She’s definitely not the most people-loving dog and is still aloof (who could blame her) but she’s gotten so much better! (and she adores my husband now)
I love Effie, she’s adorable! 💕
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Oh my heart!! Effie is so sweet and I could just squeeze her. We don’t deserve dogs. You’re doing amazing with her. ❤️🐶
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You’re so gorgeous with your doggie! Thanks for being so special 🐕❤️
“He poked me in all the right places” 🙈😂🙈😂
icalldeebs 😂😂😂
LOL
I low key miss your tea hauls, and would really love a "tour" of your tea drawer :)
Oeh same
Never apologize for being emotional. Estée you have a big heart ❤️ I love how you decluttered. I have the same problem with books. All I keep doing is putting them in a box and then putting them back on the shelf the next day. It’s hard. You are doing amazing by letting go. ❤️ sending you positivity!
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Hey Estée! I have a very nervous dog too and bringing him to obedience training really seemed to help! It gives them a chance to socialize with other dogs under the supervision of someone who knows what they’re talking about. Plus you can learn some tricks together and really work on bonding!
I rescued my now 8 year old Yorkie about 1.5 years ago. He was from a puppy mill, severely malnourished, had a broken jaw and needed all his teeth removed because of neglect. He had 7 years living in a cage with what I can imagine only terrible interactions with humans. Honestly, an anxious dog might always stay anxious, at least my experience so far, but I can’t express how much he’s grown through our time together and the bravery I see in him every day! It’s so heartwarming! All that being said, it’s just taken time and love and interaction with other, happy, brave dogs. Sometimes I feel bad thinking I’m pushing him too far but so many things he used to be petrified of are so easy for him now. I also give him so much love and treats for every time he’s done something he’s scared of. That’s what has worked for us!
I found that walks next to someone is very good for my dog to get to know them. In the first walk they don't give him attention, just little by little, every walk. That really expanded the range of people he trusts. It's a very long process but worth it. You seem that you have a lot of patience, and that you are kind.
Love LOVE love your weekly vlogs 💕💕🙌
“So excited to have room to grow. No, I’m kidding.” *nervous giggle*
we literally know you’re not kidding because we would see it as room to grow too 😂
Watching this during lockdown is intense! Especially when you're out at dinner at this lovely place full of people *cries* what I would give right now to go out for dinner or coffee!!
Hello Estée! Really enjoy your content and your podcasts! I am from Athens, Greece and I also have a kokoni (half breed kokoni actually)! My Phoebe is 8 years old now and she was also a rescue, she came to us when she was 3 months old and for the first months she would cry non stop, it was a really long journey. But she is the sweetest dog ever! To this day she occasionally gets frightened, especially when we are out for a walk (i.e. if we cross a very busy street). Bear with her, she will come around it just takes time!
Hi Estee, love your vlogs so much! 😍 We've got a saarloos wolfdog at home, which are dogs who are narurally scared of anything and anyone except the 'pack' they know (aka us). To let him get comfortable when we have guests over, the best thing by far is to let them ignore him: no eye contact, no approaching and definitely not reaching out (to pet for instance, this can be terrifying for him with a stranger). What also works is to let strangers sit on the ground (remember everything big and from above is daunting) and with their back to them as a way of ignoring - eventually (after a couple of visits) he'll get used and comes to try and sniff a bit:) that's another thing, try regular visits with the same person to let effie get to know him/her :) she's adorable and you're doing absolutely great, these are just my experiences with a narurally reserved dog. ♥️🤗
Effie is so lucky to have you, you’re doing great 💕
Thank you!
“I like having a mirror in front of my bed” I think that was the most leo thing you’ve ever said 😂
LOL
I saw the picture of your aura reading in your fridge and our colours were the exact same! crazy!
Another thing that has really helped in our journey with our dog is a tight shirt helps her feels hugged when new folks are coming by (like you and your weighted blanket!!!)
lots of people are recommending medication and that seems so wild to me. it is totally unnecessary at this point and probably ever
Yes please do a wardrobe tour❣️
You’re doing amazing with your new baby!!! 🐶 Your new Kit looks beautiful and incredibly well
priced for all of your products! 🙌😘
Thank you!
Omg it makes my heart break for all the dogs who haven’t been rescued yet 😭 so sad. Love the declutter 💕
two years ago I got a rescue dog and he was also terrified of everything and everyone, what brought him confidence was time and me talking to him in a calm confident manner when he was scared, I would say to him literally "it's ok, there is no reason to be scared, I'm in charge", and really mean it (that's the important part), dogs understand very clearly whom they can trust and who is fucking with them. if you want her to count on you you have to give her time and your confidence in every situation.
you’ll look back on this phase of Effie’s life and realise how far she’s come - don’t feel disheartened! I promise she’ll become more comfortable in the months to come. you’re doing an amazing job ❤️
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Love love love your videos!
FLASHING LIGHTS AT 16:10. It might not seem a big deal, but it can trigger seizures and migraines, so it's as well to be prepared.
Pls do a bag collection video pls ,you have such good taste,😍
I just finished cleaning my place before I sat down to watch this! It feels so good to just have a decluttered space.
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Yay! Missed you Estee 😘
I love that wall organiser you have behind you in the last clip !! You are also so beautiful and I love listening to your voice and watching your vlogs !! Xx
Those Reeboks are the comfiest sneakers I own. Give them a try! They're great!
Yay!!! So happy about the nude stix!!!!
Estée... you always make my day! thank you so much for this, I really needed this! :D
i am binge watching your vlogs.. wish i knew how to start from the beginning.. love them...
hahah loved the vlog! and the spinning bit so real and funny . We all struggle with different things! well done for going! xx
I know this is an older video but I had to tell you that I bought your Nude Stix kit and ai really love it! I use all of it. It’s the best makeup purchase that I made all year.
I don't own a dog but I follow a lady on Instagram who adopted a little pup with a very sad past life. She just discovered that after a very active time out (like slowly running a mile or so) the pup is feeling very relaxed and trusting. Good luck with Effie, she's so adorable.
OMG that tea draw!
awww effie is toooo sweet 💗💗
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Effie is so cute and you two are so adorable 😍😍😍
the mini tire toys are like indestructible- i would recommend them for effie!
love the vlogs!!! you're so inspiring to watch, ps proud of your cooking
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Absolutely support that mirror placement girl 😏
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We've had our dog, Percy, for three and a half months. He's absolutely come out of his shell but he's still very, very scared of other people. He still has moments of trepidation around my boyfriend. We think a man abused him. What we've learned in the past week is he's extremely jealous so if I'm petting another dog in front of him, he pushes his way in. So, we've had other pet owners playing with their own pets and Percy will run up to them to be pet. Whatever it takes!
He loves playing with other dogs though. He was pretty scared at the dog park at first but quickly realized how much fun it was. He even would go near and look at men in the dog park, which he would never do if we were on a street/ he was on his leash. The dog park has been a godsend for his confidence.
"That man poked me in all the right places" .... I am dying and also just so fucking happy for you. lmao
It’s true! Even the smallest things are so big. Rescue dogs are great.
A tip for nervous dogs, and all dogs in general, is to use calming signals. If you haven't heard of it before, I'll try to explain quickly; calming signals are signals that dogs use between each other but also to humans and even just to calm themselves. It is part of the dogs language. For example I saw that Effie when she was under the cabinet and the other little dog came, and you said things to encourage her, she was licking her nose. (You know, when she takes the tongue upwards towards the nose). That is a classic calming signal. I believe she did that to say "calm down".
Other calming signals are taking a quick look to the side/ looking away and a very clear calming signal is to raise the paw a little bit. I'm sure there's many more, but these are very typical. If a dog does these signals it is to either try to calm down the situation or person or other dog, or even to calm down themselves. When two dogs meet in the street they will usually either take a quick look to the side, lick their nose or a combination of these signals. And it's to tell the other dog that they don't want any trouble, that they are calm and friendly.
I've noticed that Effie uses a lot of calming signals in your videos, and that is actually great because it means she has a good language and that she tries to communicate :)
The magic happens when we as humans start to use the same signals towards dogs.
You can do the same signals towards her, just like she does them. Pretend you're a dog and take your tongue up on your upper lip, look to the side or even better; do both. And she will take it as a sign that you want a calm vibe, no harm will happen, and it will help her stay calm.
I also find it very good to approach a nervous dog from the side. Don't go straight towards her or look straight at her, but rather sit down on the floor and have your side towards her.
Also when you talk in a high pitch cute voice to give her encouragement she might take it as you being nervous, it can actually accentuate her nerves.
Would highly recommend books by Norwegian dog expert Turid Rugaas (they come in English as well), she knows a lot about the dogs language and talks a lot about calming signals. :)
Hope this can help. I'm not a dog expert but I have experience with dogs, and I've worked with homeless and very scared cats, and have learned some body language and signals that really helps in the communication.
Yes free shipping to US!! Making the order right now
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Big ups to you for doing spin, I hope you do enjoy it! I just quit my class cause it was just too much on my body and it wasn't fun. Also, I second having a mirror by the bed!! Anyway, thanks for another vlog, I am glad to see Effie is getting better, I wish you two all the best !
2 years ago, my adopted dog used to be so agressive and afraid of mops and buckets,he would jump and run away from it. But with time he understood that we would never hurt him like he used to be hurt before in another home and now he is the S W E E T E S T dog, always calm and sleepy. In fact, sometimes i'm walking around holding a bunch of mops, sweepers, buckets, cleaning products and he wont move if i beg him to 😂❤🥰 Effie will feel SO safe...sooner than you expect!!
Something that could work for Effie is if you have random people come by (or out on the street) and give her food, e.g chicken. The meaning behind this is food = good and if people always give her food > people = food = good. I have seen that trick from a dog trainer on you tube
whoa the handbags part was overwhelming. I have legit ONE lol
Really enjoyed the vid. Could you make a week in outfits video? :)
Great vlog you! Effie found such a loving home, you touched me with your reaction to her progress. I think you are great for each other. I wish I could find acupuncturist like yours in Kitchener-Waterloo! Nice work on the organization. I am going to check out the nude stix, I just assumed the shipping would be a killer🤭. Keep on keeping on Chicky 🙋♀️
Did you consider introducing a kennel crate for Effie? Of course it needs to be introduced properly so you don't blow it at the start but man, it is so helpful! Once she considers a kennel her safe space it's just amazing to build her confidence up from there. You could have it in a place from where she can see the whole kitchen and the salon. As a kennel is a semi-covered space (it's a crate right) she could see and be WITH people but be in her safe zone at the same time. A bed or place under the table is not the same as properly introduced kennel crate as those don't create the feeling of closed space :) You never close the kennel gates, you let her sit there whenever she likes. You or anybody else never enter the kennel, you never send her to the kennel as punishment. It's her absolute safe-zone where she can relax and feel protected, where she can calm herself down. My dog can be relaxed and feel safe anywhere now, but there is no place like his own kennel. He sleeps there all night and during the day, when he feels overwhelmed with my guests he goes there to chill, he hides there when we vacuum (the Nemezis, you know XD). Think about it, I believe it might help in the long run :) x
My rescue dog was terrified of every little sound so every time it was just me and my dog I sang to her the same song and then whenever she got scared outside or even inside I kept singing that one song. I guess she associated that melody with everything being okay 🦋
I literally have 1 bag 😂😭😭😭😭😭
Hi Estée, when i rescued my dog she was terrified of men. So my dad would come over once or twice a week and just sit on the floor and feed her treats. In the beginning, she was still very scared and he had to throw them near her and slowly she would come closer until she would eat out of his hand. But it took about 2 years for her to not be scared of any men anymore
I loveeeee the floating shelves in the kitchen
I'm also decluttering atm and looking for some "motivation" videos! Perfect timing Estée ;)
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Thank you so much for working to make the Nude but Not Kit have free shipping to North America! 💕 bought one for myself earlier and now again for my friend’s birthday- perfect gift 👌🏻
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Omg where is this beautiful wardrobe from?! I love it 🥰
Our dog got used to people (he was especially scared of men) by having a lot of guests over that were just hanging around, but not necessarily interacted with him, unless he would come to them. He's much better now, he's super comfortable with most people now and if he's nervous it takes him very little to get used to a new person.
this is random but i love that you love pasta. you're so relatable xx
APARTMENT GOALS!
Estes I would love to see what your favorite teas are
We rescued a dog three years ago from greece and she was as shy and scared as Effie when we first got her. She got comfortable with us as a family quickly, but it took time for her to get comfortable with others, espacially with men. We actually invited people over, sat down with them on the carpet and made them feed and pet the dog, so she could gain trust in others. Also when there were people over, we kinda made her stay with us, we pet her and gave her treats and tried to stop her from running away and hiding. It got better with time and now she is so so good with people, still careful and more shy than other dogs, but so much better and she actually likes having people around and gets excited about people she knows.
Effie is such a good girl and dogs are so amazing to be able to gain trust in humans again and espacially street dogs being so so loving 💜 much love
My dog is very very anxious and the best way we've found to keep him calm and engage with him is to get on the floor and lie down so he is taller than us. From there we appear much less threatening for dogs with past trauma!
My sister has a cat that reminds me of Effie--nervous, anxious, and scared of just about everything. She has relaxed--marginally--but will sadly be like this the rest of her life. Some wounds are too deep. 😔
Treats and positive reinforcement. My little girl cat is afraid of most things. Trimming her nails was a big deal and she was deathly afraid of it. I did one nail and then in my annoyingly loving high pitch happy voice told her what a good girl she was and that she gets a treat now. After a couple months we trim all of her nails at once!
She no longer sees it as threatening or scary.
Throughout the process I would allow her to let me know when it was time to stop.
Side note-
Beth Stern adopted a cat and they were not able to touch for over a year.
Hang in there day by day lots of love lots of treats and toys and safety and she’ll get there.❤️❤️❤️
It took me about 5 minutes after Estee introduced Nimbus to realize the correlation of names between Klaudia and Nimbus 🙈😂 Whatta cute duo! ☁️ ☁️ ☁️
I've just done a declutter. Feels great. Realising I'm not gonna fit into stuff, must get rid.
how can a video be so simple and so beautiful at the same time?! 💛✨ thank you for making awesome content that warms my little heart ☺️💛
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Where can I buy the kit if I’m in Australia? ☺️
Estee, could you make a handbag collection video?
The year of the decluttering, such a good healthy feeling too let go of so many things that no longer serve us.
Sweet Effie...
xx
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I need to get on this too. I’m in clutter overload
Esteee girl where did you get your clothing rail from ?x
i'm sure you've heard this before but for your knits--don't hang them! to increase their lifespan fold them on top of each other in that cubby in your closet instead. they will stretch out along the neckline and shoulders over time if hung.
she must had been very abused. She is afraid of everything. You need to make her trust in you before anything else, so carry her a lot, give her rubs. It took me about a year to make mine trust me. Physical contact , touch her, talk to her. Feed her with your hand.
when you see her going away you must carry her, comfort her. She is afraid, if you leave her alone, she thinks she is alone. She need to learn that she has you to protect her. Also if you know she doesn't like the noise of that toy, don't make it. You are doing something that upsets her, how can she trust you? My dog get scare of a certaing ringtone in my cel phone. I had to change it. You don't know the meaning of those sound what bad memories are bringing to them.
I think this is all really great advice! but also, she may not have necessarily been abused. I have a rescue FMD who was a puppy on the streets in Taiwan and her rescue organization told us that for a lot of street dogs, their fear was a means of survival (hide when you hear a loud noise, don’t trust anyone too much) and a general reaction to not being socialized during the early months. Also breeds like FMDs and Kokonis have much more alert and suspicious demeanors than some other breeds even when they’re not scared
@@EndlesslyAnything is true, but dogs on the streets are kicked out from places all the time. I wonder what happened to Eifee. Poor thing.
She's definitely a feral dog, probably not abused. Do not pick her up when she's afraid that will not help her gain confidence in herself.
@@ayebee987 she will not build confidence on herself, she is a dog and needs to feel supported and protected. I had a rescued dog as well, she was afraid of everything and everyone. She never hear the wind, the leaves of the trees, when I took her outside she was so scared looking at everything like if the entire world was going to fell on top o her. Inside the apartment she would only feel secure in the cage but at the same time she didn't want to get in because she was most of her life inside one. She would work in circles inside the cage. She didn't know how to walk on a leash, or how to eat from a plate (still she prefers to spills her food and eat it from the mat I put her plates on. She will see Estee as her master and the person to protect once she feels comfortable with her and the only way to build confidence is being in touch. Touch her, pet her, feed her with her hand, share spaces so they are close together.