I’m over 15 years into my journey and trust me when I say… I went through a period of years where I so wanted to comb out my locs. And I did, but only to few of my locs at various parts around my head, where I could play with my lose hair. Ultimately I realized that my unhappiness wasn’t about my hair -- it was about my life. I was stagnant and not moving forward with what I need to do for my life. So I reloced the lose parts and fell back in love with my hair again, Cause like you when I was loose I wasn't happy either. That's why its called a journey and its never really about "hair".
This is me right now. Even though I've been thinking about getting locs for over a year, I'm very stressed and feel stuck in my life right now and I'm not sure if I should be making that decision right now. If not now when? When will get better?
I'm 5 years in, if I ever think about getting rid of them I think about the maintenance of loose natural hair and the burn of a relaxer on my scalp and the thought goes away quickly
Same here. Don’t think I’d ever want to get rid of my locs, but if the thought came, i would think about the headache maintenance of loose natural hair
She’s pretty in her own right but looks NOTHING like Lauren Hill. Lauren has bigger slightly rounder eyes different rounder fuller lip shape, oval shaped face and smaller pointier nose whereas this girls bridge is flatter and wider. Men really don’t pay attention to detail
I went threw that phase too, 1 week ago, but when I think about my time consuming hustle to do my natural thick 4b hair I get my motivation back lol plus the fact that with time we will actually reach waist length without buying a million products, trimming, detangling and fighting shrinkage encourages me to keep my locs. Locs are versatile too, cool, sexy and unique :) it suits every black women.
I'm at 18 months - at a length where there is some "hang time" but the hair is too short for an updo to get it off the neck. The best I can do is wear an occasional headband to get it out of my face. A church member reminded me to enjoy this in-between time. At this length (and at yours) the hair is still short enough to have its own 'personality.' Once it's long, that's all it is - long, unless you style it. Your hair is beautiful, and you preached the word about the convenience of locks. NOTHING beats "wake-&-shake" hair! Amen to that!
I love how open you were with your thought process. You know I can totally relate, as I just overcame something very similar. I found that talking through my thoughts helped me appreciate my locs even more. The reasons why I loc'd were so much more satisfying and fulfilling than why I wanted to comb them out. I think it's great to take time to examine our thoughts, and seek God on the matter. The obsession I was having with loose natural hair a few weeks ago is totally gone now. Lol. That's even more encouraging to me that I didn't just react immediately on impulse...although I combed out that tiny piece at the bottom. 😂 Thanks for your honesty and transparency. You and your hair are beautiful, both loose and loc'd. Either way, I'm here to support your journey 😊. Btw, that pic of you and your daughter was absolutely beautiful!!!!!!😍😍
Natural Nirvana i just came from your channel and see you have combed it out u disabled the comments on your video wanted to say its beautiful but im more than sad both of you guys have reverted but its okay its all a journey right
I feel like my 1-year video really showcases the pros and cons to acting on these feelings. A lot of me combing out my first set was texture-envy and also lack of my own hair knowledge. I went straight from relaxed to perm. It was the right decision to make at the time, I don't regret it because coming back to locs now has been so refreshing - especially since i'm semi-freeform so I have even less maintenance than most. I had to leave locs to realize how much my hair really thrives in them. On the flip side though, I'm also currently going through a weird growth phase. My locs are kinda short but getting into medium length and I have the same issues they're always in my face but they aren't long enough yet to just easily push them out of my face and then my up-dos are not working as well because they're just at a weird length. So, I'm wearing headwraps even more now - almost every day. I remember this phase with my first set though so it's not really bothering me as much as it did the first time because I know it'll pass. Great video!
Joyce, Thank you for your transparency. It's so important for those new to their journey to get a rounded perspective of the experience. At the same time, don't let worry over tomorrow keep you from enjoying today! You have a wealth of knowledge. Apply it! There are countless ways you can softly pin and tuck, gently twist the front of your hair to keep it out of your face during the day. Not to mention narrow scarves, bandanas, headbands as well. Vary it daily. Do it softly w little pressure. You can do this. Don't overthink it to the point where you're dissatisfied feeling there is nothing you can do but to endure it. That's counter every persons advice to "enjoy the journey". Twist and pin the back up. UA-cam is knee deep in tutorials for your length. Varying the styles w no tension will give you the best of both worlds. Then once your hair is out the way, then you can focus on what's bugging you in life! 🙏🏾💪🏾🙏🏾
JoyceMD IT'S JUST HAIR. YOU ARE SO BLESSED TO HAVE GIVEN BIRTH, TO A BEAUTIFUL HEALTHY BABY, [ NEVER GOT TO HAVE CHILDREN BECAUSE OF GIGANTIC FIBROID TUMORS, WHICH GREW BACK AFTER 19 LARGE UTERINE FIBROIDS WERE REMOVED IN A HORRIFIC C-SECTION, I WAS ONLY WOMAN ON THE WARD WHO DIDN'T HAVE A BABY, BUT HAD C SECTION TO REMOVE TUMORS, WHICH WERE BLEEDING ME TO DEATH FOR YEARS ]; YOU HAVE A HUSBAND, I PRAY HE IS A GOOD MAN AND FATHER [ I WAS USED, ROBBED AND ABUSED, BY VARIOUS MEN I THOUGHT LOVED ME ]. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS YOUNG BEAUTIFUL SISTER. THERE ARE MORE PRESSING ISSUES FOR YOU TO CONCEPTUALIZE, ABOUT YOUR LIFE AS A WOMAN, A PARENT, A SPOUSE AND ALL OTHER RELATIONSHIPS YOU ENCOUNTER. BLESS YOUR YOUNG HEART.
Hang in there, I felt the same way plenty of times. The only reason I won't go loose natural is because I don't enjoy styling loose hair. Sisterlocks was a perfect choice. Good luck!
Great video. I'm in an "I can't wait until..." phase with my locs and this is a lesson to just be still and rest in each phase, bc the next phase will/may bring its own set of "can't wait-isms". Thanks for sharing. PS I can see your hair in 2 loose flat twists on each side going towards the back, to give your neck a break.
I feel you! Never had locs but this happened to me when I first went natural. Not only did I feel like a plucked chicken 🐔 (Completely vulnerable) and had no idea of how to care for it, but I had to deal with how others felt about it too, which didn't make it any easier. Then I decided to stick it out, learned myself and my hair, accepted, nurtured, and loved myself through it... my hair grew to waist length and all of a sudden those who gave me the hardest time were the first to compliment and comment on how "beautiful" my hair was. But what they didn't know is that the beauty of my hair had nothing to do with what they were seeing, but EVERYTHING to do with the JOURNEY I had been through, the fact that I had felt these same feelings you're feeling now but still made it through to the other side. The beauty is in the metamorphosis of self. Our hair is perfect the way it is and beautiful at EVERY "stage" sometimes for different reasons that may not be so obvious at the time but becomes so clear in retrospect. Your locs are EVERYTHING, mama! I love the texture, the length, the shape... reminds me of Lauryn Hill... just BEAUTIFUL! Thank God I don't have your locs because they wouldn't be able to tell me NOTHIN! I'd be like, "But did you see my hair tho!? LOL! 😂
I feel you. I have my good days and bad days myself. Sometimes I obsess over how "stiff" and non-versatile my locs feel. I try to focus on other things and it usually passes. Thanks for being so open and well-spoken!
I can totally relate. I had my first set for 5 years and when I relocated, I hastily cut them. I immediately regretted it and grew my hair out and here I am 9 months loced. One of the reasons why I cut them was because I started to feel Like I was being judged and also I had a bad experience after getting my locs retwisted by someone who clearly didn't know anything about locs. In hindsight I could've learned how to retwist my locs or free formed. Now I don't care what people think and I'm maintaining my locs myself until I move back to the states.
Thanks for posting this, Joyce. I appreciate your honesty and transparency. I'm at month 18 and find myself not being as inspired to post updates about my locs lately. I do think it's a phase for me and just something that I have to push through. I think the 2 year mark is hard so I can understand where you're coming from. That's about when I cut my first set of locs off. I really want to stick to this set and learn and grow from that commitment. There's a reason why someone with a head full of long locs always gets so much adoration. I think it's partly because it shows that person stuck with their journey, even when it must have been difficult or unsatisfying. Wishing you well in your continued journey. You're lovely.
At least you know yourself! When ppl ask if I regret loc'ing, I remember the points you made: the detangling, washing, shrinkage (I had lots), styling, braidouts... I smile ☺️ nope! My locs are me! However there are other struggles with them but I'm toughing it out. So if I was to ever get the itch of combing out (I highly doubt) I will recall those same points.
i have definitely feeling the exact same way about my loose natural hair. i contemplated on cutting it, dying it, straightening or just putting it away in a long term protective style because i just didnt want to see it or deal with it... but im realising now, that the feeling of frustration and dissatisfaction i have been having with my hair, was just a reflection of my depression. its amazing how our feelings about our hair can translate our mental/emotional condition. i advise anybody going through this to make an evaluation of their mental and emotional wellbeing.
Omg it's so confronting to know that I'm not the only person who has these spells where I'm totally dissatisfied with my hair regardless what state it's in. I thought I was a crazy person. And I've had these feelings of wanting to change my hair with my locs a couple of times. Ultimately I know what my goal is (waist length) and I just have to push through it. And you will too. Thanks so much for sharing
You always discussing what we all go through, or can identify with. The explanation is what's needed and interesting. That's why when I see a new uploaded video from you I jump on it. Thanks
Girl lord i hv the same struggles...im 5 months in and im really all over the place..i wanna comb them out but i know i may regret it..definitely understand the loose hair struggle..the shrinkage, the braidouts twistouts...i miss the attention i had with my loose big hair . i dont get any compliments on my hair now i miss that. U look gorgeous either way sweetie😍
This is the realest loc video I've ever seen! Word!! Girl!!!!!! #1- I too always had to "schedule in" doing my loose natural hair. My husband would complain that I couldn't be spontaneous due to me and my hair dilemma. Man... I didn't realize just how much time it took. Well... I loc'd it and it's been 2 years, so now.. #2 The locs on my neck... mercy Jesus! Ugh!! This summer was harsh but like you, I'm committed. I'm not cutting my locs!! I really do love them. My relationship with my locs are real, just like any other relationship. Some days are better than others lol but you stay.. you work it out (well that's how I do things). Your insight and wisdom shines bright. Be encouraged.
You implied this, but I certainly think some of the discomfort we feel with physical appearances is rarely about our physical aspects. And even when we make our "ideal changes", there will still be a level of dissatisfaction, because it is not fixing the root of our discomfort, insecurities or frustrations. I think in our society we are constantly shown that the external should be our priority (outside of basic, good hygiene), so we are pushed to constantly evaluate ourselves in that way, and makes us less likely to catch the root problem without some deep reflection/prayer/guidance. I definitely have sporadic, frustrating moments, too. But I got through it by remembering how much this has been the healthiest thing i have ever done for my hair, and it had freed up my time so I can be of use in (and/or not as distracted from) other aspects of my life. Thank you for starting the conversation!
Thank you for your honesty. Its greatly appreciated. I'm only 4 months in to my loc journey. I was a loose natural for 3 years before I decided to loc my hair. And I have to say...loc'ing my hair was the best decision. The constant weekly maintenance and sometimes daily manipulation was wreaking havoc on my loose natural hair. I found myself using heat to stretch it a lot so I could style it(mostly twist outs). If my hair wasn't in a stretched state it would knot together so terribly. & the shrinkage was definitely real! Lol. The difference in length between my stretched hair & my hair when it was in its natural state was unreal. But I knew the constant heat was not good & honestly the twisting or braiding & the detangiling begin to take up too much of my time. I needed less maintenance but increased health. My decision to loc my hair was based on hair health. My hair is now healthier in a loc'd state.
I always love your transparency. You're a very open, clear, direct communicator with us, your followers and I appreciate that so much! I just hit 12 months or am about to and I love my locs, I am not going to chop them off nor comb them out ever, but often times I do find myself missing my fro and the feel of it all
I loved this video because it just shows the transparency of how people with locs can really feel especially when you are openly sharing your journey with others and they look up to your hair style as their goals. Your hair is beautiful and I love listening to your videos! You are beautiful and so informed about locs 👑💋
Joyce, this is my favorite video of yours ... thus far. With that being said, I don't think you should promise us that you're not going to rid of your locs. This is YOUR personal journey ... even though you're allowing us to witness it, and share it with you. The length of your loc journey should be determined solely by you. I know you've asked yourself what your reason was for starting locs, but it's now time to ask yourself what your reason is for keeping them. I implore you to do do what makes you happy. You didn't sign a lease or contract ... you can get out of this without penalty. You can also come back whenever you want (you'll also be more learned should you take the journey again.) Perhaps it's time to trade in for something new, something that YOU feel suits you better. If you transition into another style and find yourself really missing your locs ... start again. You will have so much knowledge to bring with you for your "do over". Your hair is beautiful regardless of what style you may have it in. I hope you land on the decision that will bring you the most joy. Don't worry ... be nappy!
I officially locked my hair around New Years 2003. That was a journey in itself, because all I knew prior to was perms and braids extensions for 5 years during my entire natural experience. I didnt know what the heck I was doing. It was going on 2 years being Loc'd and they were the same exact length as yours, when I felt done with them. Before I began my journey, I told myself I'd give it 2 years and I'd cut them or comb them out if I didn't like them. I was ready for a change. I attempted the comb out my thin latchhooked locs. The first 1 took an hr. The next 5 took about 30 min each(I had over 200 to comb out). I decided then and there to stick it out. Almost 15 years in, I still get moments where I hate them, but now I either cut them, color them, or install a sew in or crochet. Each year I plan a chop, but they are my babies. I can't let them go.
I got Locs because I just couldn't deal with the amount of time it took to do my loose natural hair. I literally got my whole wash day routine to 1 hour. I have fine hair so my Twist outs just never looked right and I always managed to put it into a puff. I pretty much just let my Locs do what it wants and not compare it to anyone. Just the other day I compared my Locs growth to an old picture and the very next day someone asked me why my hair isn't longer and attempted to compare his hair to mine and I had to check him on that. I have a hair goal length wise so I'm just enjoying this whole process.
What you feel is very common...I am going through my second round of locking my hair....and last time I cut my locks was due to outside sources in which I internalized plus I was going through some postpartum depression...at first I was excited...something new...but I really did miss my hair...I felt almost naked without them...prior to me cutting, I had periods of ambivalence towards my locs especially in summer and spring months....but I got over it...p.s. I have had my locs for 13 months and I am really enjoying the wind blowing through my locs and really enjoying each stage of the loc process
It was always around the 2 year when I combed out my last two sets. I wasn't happy with them. I don't plan to do that with this set. I regret taking out my last set. Your locs have grown so much!
Love this topic! It's so real. I am on my second loc journey, and now when I feel tired of a particular hairstyle, I just wait it out. Usually, I just notice the thoughts but realize I may feel differently in a week. Also, remembering why I started this second loc journey also keeps me committed to this journey indefinately. I wanted lower maintenance and long hair. My hair, although I miss the texture of loose hair, is so fine that combing and detangling while seeking to have length retention was just so darn hard! My hair loc'd grows fast. But loose natural hair, mine breaks so easily. Sometimes, I see pictures of afros, even my own pictures for a while back, and I miss that big hair look. But hang time is nice to have too.
I feel you 100%!!! You cracked me up in that video too! The realness is just too real! Lol And trust me, I went through the exact same thing! Was semi-freeforming, lost control and did a major chop! I do not regret the chop because my locs were thick and not what I wanted (I just kind of went with how they came out). But now, I want locs, smaller ones, but will have to start from scratch. And I am afraid of regretting or not being able to push through the difficult phases because I am exactly like you, I go through cycles! Only problem is, I am too impulsive for my own good! I will pray and meditate on it too! Thank you for sharing this precious video, happy to see I am not alone on this rollercoaster ride 😉 Hang in there, your locs are beautiful, simple and natural! That's what I love abt locs in general, they enhance our natural beauty and you are a natural beauty. Peace and love
thanks for sharing!!! i miss my relaxed hair, but i know that returning to that is NOT an option. i was a loose natural for three years, and i never miss that because the maintenance was killer!!! my biggest regret was not allowing someone else to start them so i could have a more uniform size locs. i did them myself, and i have a mixture of sizes because of the density of my hair on certain sections of my head. i absolutely love sister locs, but they were not an option because the maintenance cost and time would mirror being a loose natural. some days my dissatisfaction is so strong that I consider starting over while I'm still early in the game. other days i own my imperfect hair like i own the imperfections in my body (with the ferocity a vigor).
I feel the same way about my sisterlocks. I just feel like they are too short and not growing fast enough. In reality, it's an unhappiness in another area of my life. I realized that while watching this video. Thanks So MUCH for sharing! I guess I'll keep them, they are way to expensive to take out anyway lol
Yes yes yes..... I was there I was there 2 years ago... and I'm the same way about my hair, I hate it I love it I hate it I love it... serious hand in headitis.. i love styling but then I can get very lazy with my hair. Unlike you, I ended up picking out my locs. I saw the length I had accumulated and I was thrilled.... for 2 months...I had to deal with my hair again and that was a process that I had forgottening how much I hated... then I cut it all off.. it was the first time I had ever had my hair so short. I loved it!! But after a year I missed having hair and believe it or not short hair was even more maintenance for me than any other style. My locs would have been 6 years old today. Today I'm rocking a new set of locs... they are 7 months old and fully loc'd... way faster than last time around. I wrote a letter to myself about the pros and cons of going back to loose natural and the cons greatly outweigh the pros. I had to find a balance... so I have a loc mohawk, that way if I ever feel like I need to feel my loose hair I'll just grow out the sides. Then my hair starts growing back and realize that I don't miss it like that at all. The hawk is the perfect balance for me as I can be the super tomboy that I am or if I'm feeling particularly girly I can curl them and wear them to the side or I can cover both sides. I'm a flip flopper and a true Libra as my husband would say. But even though I did what I did, it needed to be done and I'm glad it turned out this way. The second time around I'm going in wiser and happier. I no longer regret the decision I made. Sorry for the long post lol this is my first time making a UA-cam comment and I'm long winded in person lol good luck to you and everyone else with their hair decisions. Locs are a truly beautiful journey that will help you learn things you didn't know about yourself....or you thought you knew.... peace and love to you all..
GIRL I FEEL YOU! Lol. I've had these same feelings off and on for the past few months. And you know I'm not even close to where you are time-wise. Haha! When I feel like this, I wrap my hair. It doesn't seem like you're about that wrap life, though? Lol. I'm so glad you spoke about this. I've wanted to but have not found a way to articulate my feelings. 😂 I know I would regret cutting or combing out my locs. I know for sure I don't want to go back to my loose natural hair. This winter I'm going to fine a safe way rock wigs so I can have a little change. Until then I'm wrapping my locs when I feel meh about them.
I admire your ability to think through this process. I am someone who changes up my hair often. I loved my loose natural hair and then one day I decided I was tired of spending the time to care for it. So I locked it. I love it so much more than any other style I have ever worn. I am glad you did this video because if the day comes when I am feeling the same I can watch this video and explore the reason why. Thank you for sharing.
Girl your hair is gorgeous in every pic, including these gorgeous locs! When I saw your thumb nail, I said to myself, "Wow, she's pretty, reminds me of Lauryn Hill!" But when I read the title, I was like, "No way!" Your locs are soooo beautiful! Thanks for being so transparent! I'm 5 months in and am in love with each step! I hope you find a good loctechian to do some cool cute styles. I honestly "can't wait" until my locs look like yours! Best wishes on your journey! Don't give up! You're gorgeous!!
WOW!! You helped me to realize that I operate in cycles. I literally am coming up on my 3 year locaversary, and I sheepishly admitted to a friend that I love my locs but sometimes I miss my natural strands. Then at the same time when I think on my conflicted feelings of maintaining my natural hair, in combination with having 3 beautiful chocolate girls to do haircare for, I can't help but thank God for locs!
This video speaks to exactly what I'm going through right now. I'll be 2 years in November. I'm also at shoulder length, and I'm also feeling frustrated with my locs. I actually went so far as to go to a salon to see if they could do a sew in, and, of course, my locs were too thick. I'm feeling stuck and frustrated because I can't seem to find any styles that make me feel pretty. I'm struggling. The point about not taking underlying life issues out on our hair is a great point and something for me to think about. In the mean time, I'm going to try accessorizing more with earrings and head wraps to see if that will get me through this rough patch. Be encouraged and know that you aren't alone.
You really just made me feel so much better. I love my locs but right now, almost a yr in - with hang time because I had an afro loose natural, I'm realllllly dissatisfied. As you pointed out though, I think because of life stress I'm blaming my hair bc that's the easy thing to do. I've wanted locs for a while and I'm not willing to give up the journey. I'm just trying to sum up how grateful I am for your transparency in this video because I don't have people around me who can relate and help me thru this time. And I will definitely be asking God to guide me thru this time as well.. Thanks a million sharing💕💕💕
when i made the decision to cut/comb out my first set of locs, i evaluated why i wanted to get rid of them. most of the reasons had to do with how they were looking and forming. so i tried my best to recitfy those things for about a year. i also cut them into a style, experimented with semi permanent dye, etc. and when i found that i still wasn't satisfied, 2 months before i was 2 years loc'd, i cut them to a shorter length and combed them out. took me about 3 days (i had thicker locs). i don't regret doing that at all, because i did my best to try to get to a happier place with my locs. of course sometimes i look back and wonder how long they would be now, what they would look like, etc but i don't regret it. :) i'm now on my second set almost a year in!
Yes lawd!!! I am not making a video until I know which direction I'm going in. Ive found that locs are much more maintenance than my loose hair. When my hair was loose I never went to a salon unless I wanted a press or something which was never. Now I find that it takes so long to do my hair I just dont want to do it so I go to a salon. Also, I agree when you say the hair is flat. Ughhhh, I dont like that. I have been feeling this way ever since my hair passed my chin. I'm definitely not going to comb them out right now. I will wait to I hit my goal and if I still feel the same dissatisfaction, they are gone. I love locs, but Im just not feeling the look and upkeep on myself. Im glad you made this video. I was totally feeling alone in this journey...
Malikah J funny you wrote this because the one thing I love for myself and others don't is the afro like look. I don't retwist as much because I like the puffiness/big hair. I'm almost 2 years in so I hope as they continue to drop they won't be flat. I've enjoyed watching you and Joyce's journey.
Malikah J I'm curious: why don't you cut your locks just above chin length, then? If you are unhappy with them longer, cut them to a length that makes you happy. Some people actually look better with shorter hair, I know I do. I can't stand how I look with hair past my shoulders.
I can relate to this on so many levels. I'm just over 1 year, and I've had so many ups and downs. One day, I miss my fro and being able to have my fingers in it. To thinking, "are locs really for me?". "Did I make the right choice?". I'm still very much learning, and getting to know myself and hair on different levels.
I understand what you're saying, Joyce. I often feel the same way about my Sisterlocks. I am 22 months in- and I want to end the journey. But, then, I think about why I got locs and the benefits. And, I also thought about how I would wear my hair- once a lose natural again... I would wear a cute tapered cut- never being concerned with high maintenance styles ever again! You are very inspiring to a lot of loc wearers so, please learn to appreciate your locs at every stage and length. Best wishes :-)
wow you are beautiful!. I love the layers of your locs. I cant listen to the video because I'm at work so i'm going to rewatch it so I can understand why you are unhappy about your locs( I considered locing my hair recently after I had my daughter but I took them out before it locked). But my God you are certainly beautiful and I love your locs.
Okay, after watching this video, I had to see you with relaxed hair. In that searched, I discovered you have a beautiful singing voice. It looks like you haven't recorded a song cover in a while. Do you still sing and would you be willing to make a current video of yourself singing?
I love your transparency in this video! I am in the research phase before I start my loc journey! Your story will be kept in mind as I know every day is a struggle whether as a loose natural or loc'd or relaxed. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for sharing. I am going thru the same phase with my locs. I'm only 9 months in but sometimes I do miss my loose hair. This video is going help me to keep pushing and stay strong!! Thank you for sharing, really really needed this video.
My longs are down my back and YES they do drive me crazy being on my neck and in my face, I too won't use bands to pull my hair back. When I'm stressed is when my locs mostly get on my nerves. My solution came when I found the infinity wrap by Keisha Charmaine, they are my miracle worker for getting keeping my locs off my face.
I understand what you are going through. I felt the same way. try wearing a loc sock and wrap your hair sometimes. praying definitely helps to remain peaceful. your locs are beautiful!
Hey Joyce! This might seem like a small stupid comment to make but I started my loc journey a month before you and our locs are about the same size (you have more hair then me though) and it's so cool to watch you go through this journey so candidly. It's like I'm not doing it alone in a way. Anyhow, this summer I figured out a simple solution for getting my hair off of my neck and out of my face in a safe way; I use a black scrunchie to put it back. So I only use a black one because if it's going leave lint, it would be concealed. I also don't double knot it so it just loosely holds my hair but it doesn't fall out because of the texture of my locs and the actual scrunchie are rough enough to hold on. There is no tension on my hair when I do that and so I just thought it'd be a good tip for you to help you go through this moment with your locs.
Im so grateful for this video. You just convinced me that locs are definitely for me. I just have to stick through the discomfort. I've always hated dealing with my hair. That's why I went natural. But natural is a lot of manipulative work. Locs are the answer!
I am locing my hair this coming Tuesday 24 October, I am really excited. its a combination of frustration with braids, but also a strong need to want to be true to myself. I need to be me, fully. Thanks so much for your videos. You are beautiful.
When I think of my own journey of being a loose natural for 8 years and then a Loc'd natural for 20 months, I've recognized that how I'm feeling about my hair is often - but not always - how I'm feeling about myself. Right before I Loc'd I thought my "hair" was boring so I cut it, but really if I'm honest I was feeling bored with myself and manifested that on my hair. Kinda like what you said. That's happened to me a few times - sometimes I act and sometimes I do not. Lately I feel waves of love and then waves of dissatisfaction with my Locs, but I'm learning also to not react to these feeling but rather explore them and sometimes just ignore them. Also, for me it is not easy having Locs as a professional. My hair is super fuzzy and it kinks up quickly around my edges. So on a daily I have to assess the state of my hair through a number of lenses. That gets on my nerves and I know that can be an influencer on how I'm feeling about my hair.
I remember starting my locs around the same time as you! I also felt dissatisfied and went even as far as the salon waiting room but i starting thinking about how I am so near 2 years and I'm so sure that I just need to embrace these stages and enjoy what it will turn out to be in the future. Seeing my sister's hair also makes me miss my loose hair. my biggest struggle with locs is moisturizing and am sure with much research I will find a solution.
I've experienced similar thoughts of dissatisfaction many times when going through my hair journey. I transitioned from relaxed hair to natural. Then I went from natural to relaxed again but with more texture left in my hair. Then I went from that to a tapered natural haircut. Then I made the mistake of trying the textured relaxed hair again. I decided to cut that all off not long after I did it, so I was left with a very small afro with some relaxed ends. After about a year or so of wigs, I decided to install my locs. Although I am now the most satisfied that I've ever been with my hair, there are still times when I have those thoughts of dissatisfaction and they come at times of frustration or impatience with my hair. I agree with waiting it out and looking at the pros and cons of the decision because, as I've experienced, things change as your hair grows and matures and you learn new techniques. So things that frustrated me at the time I have either learned how to fix it, it has fixed itself with time, or I've learned how to cope with it. Also, one way I have been getting my hair out of my face and off my neck since I started my locs is with 3-4 inch thick headbands. I basically create the "pineapple" style and just let the hair fall. I never double loop the band or make it tight. Thanks for sharing!
I like ur hair better now. Not a bad choice in my eyes. I can see ur texture just fine. The roots give it away especially. Not loose texture, but accessing it in a different way. But I totally understand how you feel. You're right. It's normal to have these feelings. Beautiful girl.
Thank you for this! The best way to get your hair texture to speak though your locs is to make them THICKER! Let your hair grow in thicket locs and you will see its natural texture and shape thrive! I transitioned into thicker locs and feel like i have both an afro and locs which is awesome!
I love this video! Im not unhappy with my locs, but I can relate to much of what you have stated. Like you, I started on very long loose natural hair (two strand twists (almost waist length) to now have shoulder length locs (without ever cutting). Lol. I also miss my big wash and go's and twist-outs, but the convenience of locs has sold me, and Id never go back (well at least no time soon). 😊
I total understand how you feel. I have had my locs for 18 years now and have had that feeling many times. I use wraps which have helped so much. I even did almost a year straight of wrapping my hair and it actually felt quite liberating. It keeps my hair off of my neck (which is waist length) and I love the questioning looks I get of "I wonder what her hair looks like under there." You just have to do wants good for you. My pet hate has always been covering it at night. So sometimes I do, most of the time I don't.
Any change will cause us to question our decisions sometimes. As for me, my Locs have gone thru many, many changes as Locs do as they grow. They are constantly changing in texture, length, strength, weakness, beautiful, long, soft, not so soft, fuzzy, gorgeous! You name it. That's what Locing your hair is all about. I have been Loced for 12 years and I love them. My hair is very long, thick and wonderful. Locs are very, very DNA sensitive. Your DNA makes up your Locs and their texture, the way they look, hang, shine, grow, etc. Hang in there, and you will see that Locs are amazing. But, they do change a lot as they grow. Happy Locs!
I always imitate locs when i do mini twists and after a month I miss my hair texture and having the access to touch and detangle and feel my hair, so I understand you. If you are unhappy with your locs then its okay to go back to the out and free natural hair and then when you get all your hair out and fluffy like you used to have it and you want the feeling of locs again just mini twist and you can have the feel of locs again. I was thinking about locs, but everytime I want locs I mini twist my hair and then release the mini twists when I want my big curly hair back. Hope this helps😊😊
I have never agreed more with a video! lol everything about this has me in my room going "yep!" "That's it!" "How do you know how I feel?" "Come on girl!" Lol
Maybe, maybe not. I think this comes with the territory for us because we have so much versatility with our hair. We can do so much, where as other people may only be able to wear their hair in one style. I think this phenomenon happens when you have a lot of choices available to you, when you only have one choice... theres not much to think about.
JoyceMD that makes alot of sense. I love the versatility we have. Your locs are bomb by the way. I love your videos you dont just talk you make me think. Keep up great work!
Others do. I belong to a curly hair group on FB. It's tens of thousands of women in the group and most are non black. They are talking technique, products, sharing success and failures, etc.
After initially taking them down the first time, i relocked my hair within a year and took them down again after starting a new job in April. The TAKEDOWN of my second set (only 11 months locked) was something I'd never wish on anyone. One thing I can say is I learned just how strong my hair had become in such a short amount of time. I can only imagine how long that will take but stay motivated and keep going. My motivation was seeing my hair in a curly, thick, high bun. i saved the detangling process for another week altogether. Thank you for sharing this!!!
Your locs are beautiful. Leave them alone and let them grow so you can style them. Once you allow them to grow out, you will be pleased. I've had locs before and cut them off because I was too hot at night. Now Im back again locking it up. I miss my loose natural too but, I'm going to leave my locs alone because I love the convenience of not bothering my hair so much. Hang in there young lady!
I went through the same thing two weeks ago 18 months in. I was so unsatisifed and unhappy with my locs. I could not keep my scalp clean enough and I no longer felt attractive. Locs accumulate so much dirt it was too much. It was also hard to deal with the fuzziness around the perimeter of my hair which led to me feeling unattractive. I am no longer on my journey. I am happy with my decision. I dont intend to grow my natural hair long because all of what you said, with the maintenance. I intend on keeping it in a short cute tapered cut. I wish you the best with your journey. Thanks for sharing your honest feelings.
Your texture definitely shows through your locs. Your hair is very unique! I would no doubt be able to recognize you from the back of your head. I have heard other youtubers say similar things about your hair. It's really beautiful and characteristic, whatever you decide to do with it.
Thanks for encouraging others who are having a tough time, Joyce. I don't want to cut mine out due to shrinkage, either. I like having long hair. The only access I think I still have to my texture is my (purposefully combed out and loosened) ends; the curly ends still have my curl pattern. I really really miss the sensation of touching loose natural hair in the shower. My hair felt like a luxury good, like expensive and unique curled silk. My locs just deal with water, now, instead of the way my loose hair drank it up and loved it.
I totally understand, I have 3c hair and I love my texture... That is why I did not lock myedges and also I didn't cut off the loose ends at the bottom of my locks so it's still my loose natural curly hair at the bottom of my locks so they're basically homemade goddess locs.
First of all your locs are absolutely gorgeous❤ I feel like i sometimes just have locs bad hair days and when I do Scarf time. I am only 8 months in just a few days ago they started rebelling. I put in a side part which is versatile for me and they decided to create a middle part. So rather than fight with them i let them do what they want. I have to say i have no regrets and i never think of taking them out. I love them and have never felt so comfortable being me.Much Love H-Town❤
This is a great video for me as I consider getting locs. It is helping me re-analyse why I will probably get them and to learn and have proper expectations. Thank you!
Thanks!!! I am so happy to turn to your Video...you saved me!!! I was totally fed up with my hair today I did not go to church...I had the scissors and I was ready to cut all my locks off but the fact is what was I going to do after that! I think my problem is partly internal but my locks are so damaged.. I did trim them shorter and I'm going to be more kinder... Do need help... I'm going to wait and not act on impulse...thanks so much for sharing and being honest and truthful... Will keep you posted...
I can relate to the locs on the neck thing. I cut my locs in the back for this reason. I've decided to grow it into a bob that stops at my nape and keep it at that length. I think that's what has helped me avoid having as much dissatisfaction, though I DO wish that my layers were grown out already, but that's going to take time. I hope you find what works for you. I also get the part about being dissatisfied in other areas and focusing on superficial things as a result.
I applaud you for being so strong! The moment i started hating my locs, i cut them off. Now i miss them! 😢😢😢 I would have been two years locked by now as well...
Interesting to hear your whole thought process, but all I could really think was, DAMN THIS GIRL IS BEAUTIFUL!! No matter which style, wow! Your husband is a lucky man.
Thanks for sharing! 🙂. I'm natural and almost ready to loc. I've been paying particular attention to you and a few others that are just about the same place in their journey as you, and they have expressed similar concerns. So, this lets me know what to expect; it's part of the evolution. (In no way am I diminishing your experience, I'm just preparing myself) . Interestingly, I remember you mentioned initially that you were looking for the sisterlocks "look" and I can now see that as your locs are maturing, they have begun to thin out significantly . It will be interesting to see how they look this time next year!!! Press on ✌🏾💕
I totally understand. I don't think of being rid of my locs, because I know I can't do my loose natural hair. None of those twist outs or braid outs looked good to me, on me. Thanks for the video!!
i've been mentally preparing and kinda going back and forth on when i'll start mine OR if i want to keep my texture since I did my big chop i've been getting to know my hair. thanks for this post, it's nice to be reminded not to freak out
Your feeling are normal,I've had locs for almost 3 years... I've pushed through all of the feelings you've spoken about.I often times use a loc sock or I will do a simple basket weave to get the locs off of my neck ...hang in there! Thanks for sharing
You're so beautiful and I agree it's really important that we pay attention to make sure we're not making emotional decisions with our hair. This is something I have to examine regarding color treating my locs
This is my second loc journey. And I'm there with you. The exact same feelings. You are giving language to whereI am at right now. Thank you. I can put the scissors down..... whew!!!
I never thought I would have this issue because I'm a rather decisive person, but I did. Unfortunately, I didn't realize it was something else entirely until after I had cut one loc completely off and combed out two others. Also, because Damian Walter is my loctician, I had some explaining to do when I went to see him. So, I totally get this. I hit the 3 year mark yesterday with a couple of baby locs at the front of my head. They are a visual reminder to stop and search within for the real issue whenever I start thinking about doing something drastic to my hair.
I just cut all mine off AGAIN!!! This makes my 4th big chop... Maybe 5. I'm thinking about locking mine this time. Something different. But yours are beautiful. The size of the locks are perfect!
I’m over 15 years into my journey and trust me when I say… I went through a period of years where I so wanted to comb out my locs. And I did, but only to few of my locs at various parts around my head, where I could play with my lose hair. Ultimately I realized that my unhappiness wasn’t about my hair -- it was about my life. I was stagnant and not moving forward with what I need to do for my life. So I reloced the lose parts and fell back in love with my hair again, Cause like you when I was loose I wasn't happy either. That's why its called a journey and its never really about "hair".
This is me right now. Even though I've been thinking about getting locs for over a year, I'm very stressed and feel stuck in my life right now and I'm not sure if I should be making that decision right now. If not now when? When will get better?
I'm 5 years in, if I ever think about getting rid of them I think about the maintenance of loose natural hair and the burn of a relaxer on my scalp and the thought goes away quickly
Sunchild1913 Same!!! My natural hair was so much maintenance!
Same here. Don’t think I’d ever want to get rid of my locs, but if the thought came, i would think about the headache maintenance of loose natural hair
That's too bad that you feel that way about your locks. They so look beautiful. But I understand where you are coming from.
Youre so pretty. Like a younger Lauren Hill
Cassie Casimir so true! She does look like Lauren Hill. She's so beautiful.
She’s pretty in her own right but looks NOTHING like Lauren Hill. Lauren has bigger slightly rounder eyes different rounder fuller lip shape, oval shaped face and smaller pointier nose whereas this girls bridge is flatter and wider. Men really don’t pay attention to detail
Your hair is beautiful.
I went threw that phase too, 1 week ago, but when I think about my time consuming hustle to do my natural thick 4b hair I get my motivation back lol plus the fact that with time we will actually reach waist length without buying a million products, trimming, detangling and fighting shrinkage encourages me to keep my locs. Locs are versatile too, cool, sexy and unique :) it suits every black women.
I'm at 18 months - at a length where there is some "hang time" but the hair is too short for an updo to get it off the neck. The best I can do is wear an occasional headband to get it out of my face. A church member reminded me to enjoy this in-between time. At this length (and at yours) the hair is still short enough to have its own 'personality.' Once it's long, that's all it is - long, unless you style it. Your hair is beautiful, and you preached the word about the convenience of locks. NOTHING beats "wake-&-shake" hair! Amen to that!
Joy Colter Yes huney! I love it!
I love how open you were with your thought process. You know I can totally relate, as I just overcame something very similar. I found that talking through my thoughts helped me appreciate my locs even more. The reasons why I loc'd were so much more satisfying and fulfilling than why I wanted to comb them out. I think it's great to take time to examine our thoughts, and seek God on the matter. The obsession I was having with loose natural hair a few weeks ago is totally gone now. Lol. That's even more encouraging to me that I didn't just react immediately on impulse...although I combed out that tiny piece at the bottom. 😂
Thanks for your honesty and transparency. You and your hair are beautiful, both loose and loc'd. Either way, I'm here to support your journey 😊. Btw, that pic of you and your daughter was absolutely beautiful!!!!!!😍😍
Natural Nirvana i just came from your channel and see you have combed it out u disabled the comments on your video wanted to say its beautiful but im more than sad both of you guys have reverted but its okay its all a journey right
I feel like my 1-year video really showcases the pros and cons to acting on these feelings. A lot of me combing out my first set was texture-envy and also lack of my own hair knowledge. I went straight from relaxed to perm. It was the right decision to make at the time, I don't regret it because coming back to locs now has been so refreshing - especially since i'm semi-freeform so I have even less maintenance than most. I had to leave locs to realize how much my hair really thrives in them. On the flip side though, I'm also currently going through a weird growth phase. My locs are kinda short but getting into medium length and I have the same issues they're always in my face but they aren't long enough yet to just easily push them out of my face and then my up-dos are not working as well because they're just at a weird length. So, I'm wearing headwraps even more now - almost every day. I remember this phase with my first set though so it's not really bothering me as much as it did the first time because I know it'll pass. Great video!
Joyce,
Thank you for your transparency. It's so important for those new to their journey to get a rounded perspective of the experience.
At the same time, don't let worry over tomorrow keep you from enjoying today!
You have a wealth of knowledge. Apply it! There are countless ways you can softly pin and tuck, gently twist the front of your hair to keep it out of your face during the day. Not to mention narrow scarves, bandanas, headbands as well.
Vary it daily. Do it softly w little pressure.
You can do this. Don't overthink it to the point where you're dissatisfied feeling there is nothing you can do but to endure it. That's counter every persons advice to "enjoy the journey".
Twist and pin the back up. UA-cam is knee deep in tutorials for your length. Varying the styles w no tension will give you the best of both worlds.
Then once your hair is out the way, then you can focus on what's bugging you in life!
🙏🏾💪🏾🙏🏾
Thank you so much for this comment. I didnt realize how much i was in need of encouragement until I read this. Thank you!!
JoyceMD IT'S JUST HAIR. YOU ARE SO BLESSED TO HAVE GIVEN BIRTH, TO A BEAUTIFUL HEALTHY BABY, [ NEVER GOT TO HAVE CHILDREN BECAUSE OF GIGANTIC FIBROID TUMORS, WHICH GREW BACK AFTER 19 LARGE UTERINE FIBROIDS WERE REMOVED IN A HORRIFIC C-SECTION, I WAS ONLY WOMAN ON THE WARD WHO DIDN'T HAVE A BABY, BUT HAD C SECTION TO REMOVE TUMORS, WHICH WERE BLEEDING ME TO DEATH FOR YEARS ]; YOU HAVE A HUSBAND, I PRAY HE IS A GOOD MAN AND FATHER [ I WAS USED, ROBBED AND ABUSED, BY VARIOUS MEN I THOUGHT LOVED ME ]. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS YOUNG BEAUTIFUL SISTER. THERE ARE MORE PRESSING ISSUES FOR YOU TO CONCEPTUALIZE, ABOUT YOUR LIFE AS A WOMAN, A PARENT, A SPOUSE AND ALL OTHER RELATIONSHIPS YOU ENCOUNTER. BLESS YOUR YOUNG HEART.
Hang in there, I felt the same way plenty of times. The only reason I won't go loose natural is because I don't enjoy styling loose hair. Sisterlocks was a perfect choice. Good luck!
Great video. I'm in an "I can't wait until..." phase with my locs and this is a lesson to just be still and rest in each phase, bc the next phase will/may bring its own set of "can't wait-isms". Thanks for sharing.
PS I can see your hair in 2 loose flat twists on each side going towards the back, to give your neck a break.
You are infinitely beautiful. The combination of your eyes and smile are massively powerful.
I feel you! Never had locs but this happened to me when I first went natural. Not only did I feel like a plucked chicken 🐔 (Completely vulnerable) and had no idea of how to care for it, but I had to deal with how others felt about it too, which didn't make it any easier. Then I decided to stick it out, learned myself and my hair, accepted, nurtured, and loved myself through it... my hair grew to waist length and all of a sudden those who gave me the hardest time were the first to compliment and comment on how "beautiful" my hair was. But what they didn't know is that the beauty of my hair had nothing to do with what they were seeing, but EVERYTHING to do with the JOURNEY I had been through, the fact that I had felt these same feelings you're feeling now but still made it through to the other side. The beauty is in the metamorphosis of self. Our hair is perfect the way it is and beautiful at EVERY "stage" sometimes for different reasons that may not be so obvious at the time but becomes so clear in retrospect. Your locs are EVERYTHING, mama! I love the texture, the length, the shape... reminds me of Lauryn Hill... just BEAUTIFUL! Thank God I don't have your locs because they wouldn't be able to tell me NOTHIN! I'd be like, "But did you see my hair tho!? LOL! 😂
I love this comment. Thank you for sharing!
I feel you. I have my good days and bad days myself. Sometimes I obsess over how "stiff" and non-versatile my locs feel. I try to focus on other things and it usually passes. Thanks for being so open and well-spoken!
I can totally relate. I had my first set for 5 years and when I relocated, I hastily cut them. I immediately regretted it and grew my hair out and here I am 9 months loced. One of the reasons why I cut them was because I started to feel Like I was being judged and also I had a bad experience after getting my locs retwisted by someone who clearly didn't know anything about locs. In hindsight I could've learned how to retwist my locs or free formed. Now I don't care what people think and I'm maintaining my locs myself until I move back to the states.
Thanks for posting this, Joyce. I appreciate your honesty and transparency. I'm at month 18 and find myself not being as inspired to post updates about my locs lately. I do think it's a phase for me and just something that I have to push through. I think the 2 year mark is hard so I can understand where you're coming from. That's about when I cut my first set of locs off. I really want to stick to this set and learn and grow from that commitment. There's a reason why someone with a head full of long locs always gets so much adoration. I think it's partly because it shows that person stuck with their journey, even when it must have been difficult or unsatisfying. Wishing you well in your continued journey. You're lovely.
Your hair is gorgeous with or without locs. It's a tough one. 😣
Thank you for being so honest because sometimes I have doubts.
At least you know yourself!
When ppl ask if I regret loc'ing, I remember the points you made: the detangling, washing, shrinkage (I had lots), styling, braidouts... I smile ☺️ nope! My locs are me!
However there are other struggles with them but I'm toughing it out.
So if I was to ever get the itch of combing out (I highly doubt) I will recall those same points.
i have definitely feeling the exact same way about my loose natural hair. i contemplated on cutting it, dying it, straightening or just putting it away in a long term protective style because i just didnt want to see it or deal with it... but im realising now, that the feeling of frustration and dissatisfaction i have been having with my hair, was just a reflection of my depression.
its amazing how our feelings about our hair can translate our mental/emotional condition. i advise anybody going through this to make an evaluation of their mental and emotional wellbeing.
You look gorgeous! I'm so sorry you're having a hard time, but they are truly coming along. Don't trip, hold on tight.
Omg it's so confronting to know that I'm not the only person who has these spells where I'm totally dissatisfied with my hair regardless what state it's in. I thought I was a crazy person. And I've had these feelings of wanting to change my hair with my locs a couple of times. Ultimately I know what my goal is (waist length) and I just have to push through it. And you will too. Thanks so much for sharing
Alisha Willingham HELP ME MY SISTER LOCS ARE A MESS should I cut them
You always discussing what we all go through, or can identify with. The explanation is what's needed and interesting. That's why when I see a new uploaded video from you I jump on it. Thanks
Girl lord i hv the same struggles...im 5 months in and im really all over the place..i wanna comb them out but i know i may regret it..definitely understand the loose hair struggle..the shrinkage, the braidouts twistouts...i miss the attention i had with my loose big hair . i dont get any compliments on my hair now i miss that. U look gorgeous either way sweetie😍
This is the realest loc video I've ever seen! Word!! Girl!!!!!! #1- I too always had to "schedule in" doing my loose natural hair. My husband would complain that I couldn't be spontaneous due to me and my hair dilemma. Man... I didn't realize just how much time it took. Well... I loc'd it and it's been 2 years, so now.. #2 The locs on my neck... mercy Jesus! Ugh!! This summer was harsh but like you, I'm committed. I'm not cutting my locs!! I really do love them. My relationship with my locs are real, just like any other relationship. Some days are better than others lol but you stay.. you work it out (well that's how I do things). Your insight and wisdom shines bright. Be encouraged.
You implied this, but I certainly think some of the discomfort we feel with physical appearances is rarely about our physical aspects. And even when we make our "ideal changes", there will still be a level of dissatisfaction, because it is not fixing the root of our discomfort, insecurities or frustrations. I think in our society we are constantly shown that the external should be our priority (outside of basic, good hygiene), so we are pushed to constantly evaluate ourselves in that way, and makes us less likely to catch the root problem without some deep reflection/prayer/guidance.
I definitely have sporadic, frustrating moments, too. But I got through it by remembering how much this has been the healthiest thing i have ever done for my hair, and it had freed up my time so I can be of use in (and/or not as distracted from) other aspects of my life.
Thank you for starting the conversation!
Sometimes i hv to make sure i dont make emotional decisions about my hair . u are right its always something else going on and not hair related.
Thank you for your honesty. Its greatly appreciated. I'm only 4 months in to my loc journey. I was a loose natural for 3 years before I decided to loc my hair. And I have to say...loc'ing my hair was the best decision. The constant weekly maintenance and sometimes daily manipulation was wreaking havoc on my loose natural hair. I found myself using heat to stretch it a lot so I could style it(mostly twist outs). If my hair wasn't in a stretched state it would knot together so terribly. & the shrinkage was definitely real! Lol. The difference in length between my stretched hair & my hair when it was in its natural state was unreal. But I knew the constant heat was not good & honestly the twisting or braiding & the detangiling begin to take up too much of my time. I needed less maintenance but increased health. My decision to loc my hair was based on hair health. My hair is now healthier in a loc'd state.
I always love your transparency. You're a very open, clear, direct communicator with us, your followers and I appreciate that so much! I just hit 12 months or am about to and I love my locs, I am not going to chop them off nor comb them out ever, but often times I do find myself missing my fro and the feel of it all
I loved this video because it just shows the transparency of how people with locs can really feel especially when you are openly sharing your journey with others and they look up to your hair style as their goals. Your hair is beautiful and I love listening to your videos! You are beautiful and so informed about locs 👑💋
Joyce, this is my favorite video of yours ... thus far. With that being said, I don't think you should promise us that you're not going to rid of your locs. This is YOUR personal journey ... even though you're allowing us to witness it, and share it with you. The length of your loc journey should be determined solely by you. I know you've asked yourself what your reason was for starting locs, but it's now time to ask yourself what your reason is for keeping them. I implore you to do do what makes you happy. You didn't sign a lease or contract ... you can get out of this without penalty. You can also come back whenever you want (you'll also be more learned should you take the journey again.) Perhaps it's time to trade in for something new, something that YOU feel suits you better. If you transition into another style and find yourself really missing your locs ... start again. You will have so much knowledge to bring with you for your "do over". Your hair is beautiful regardless of what style you may have it in. I hope you land on the decision that will bring you the most joy. Don't worry ... be nappy!
I officially locked my hair around New Years 2003. That was a journey in itself, because all I knew prior to was perms and braids extensions for 5 years during my entire natural experience. I didnt know what the heck I was doing. It was going on 2 years being Loc'd and they were the same exact length as yours, when I felt done with them. Before I began my journey, I told myself I'd give it 2 years and I'd cut them or comb them out if I didn't like them. I was ready for a change. I attempted the comb out my thin latchhooked locs. The first 1 took an hr. The next 5 took about 30 min each(I had over 200 to comb out). I decided then and there to stick it out. Almost 15 years in, I still get moments where I hate them, but now I either cut them, color them, or install a sew in or crochet. Each year I plan a chop, but they are my babies. I can't let them go.
Your transparency is one of the reasons why I am deciding to loc. I take the good and the bad. It's a part of learning and growth.
I got Locs because I just couldn't deal with the amount of time it took to do my loose natural hair. I literally got my whole wash day routine to 1 hour. I have fine hair so my Twist outs just never looked right and I always managed to put it into a puff. I pretty much just let my Locs do what it wants and not compare it to anyone. Just the other day I compared my Locs growth to an old picture and the very next day someone asked me why my hair isn't longer and attempted to compare his hair to mine and I had to check him on that. I have a hair goal length wise so I'm just enjoying this whole process.
What you feel is very common...I am going through my second round of locking my hair....and last time I cut my locks was due to outside sources in which I internalized plus I was going through some postpartum depression...at first I was excited...something new...but I really did miss my hair...I felt almost naked without them...prior to me cutting, I had periods of ambivalence towards my locs especially in summer and spring months....but I got over it...p.s. I have had my locs for 13 months and I am really enjoying the wind blowing through my locs and really enjoying each stage of the loc process
It was always around the 2 year when I combed out my last two sets. I wasn't happy with them. I don't plan to do that with this set. I regret taking out my last set. Your locs have grown so much!
Love this topic! It's so real. I am on my second loc journey, and now when I feel tired of a particular hairstyle, I just wait it out. Usually, I just notice the thoughts but realize I may feel differently in a week. Also, remembering why I started this second loc journey also keeps me committed to this journey indefinately. I wanted lower maintenance and long hair. My hair, although I miss the texture of loose hair, is so fine that combing and detangling while seeking to have length retention was just so darn hard! My hair loc'd grows fast. But loose natural hair, mine breaks so easily. Sometimes, I see pictures of afros, even my own pictures for a while back, and I miss that big hair look. But hang time is nice to have too.
Girlfriend you are the real deal! I just hit 2 years in my loc journey and was experiencing these same emotions. Thank you for your transparency...💚🖤💛
I feel you 100%!!! You cracked me up in that video too! The realness is just too real! Lol And trust me, I went through the exact same thing! Was semi-freeforming, lost control and did a major chop! I do not regret the chop because my locs were thick and not what I wanted (I just kind of went with how they came out). But now, I want locs, smaller ones, but will have to start from scratch. And I am afraid of regretting or not being able to push through the difficult phases because I am exactly like you, I go through cycles! Only problem is, I am too impulsive for my own good! I will pray and meditate on it too! Thank you for sharing this precious video, happy to see I am not alone on this rollercoaster ride 😉 Hang in there, your locs are beautiful, simple and natural! That's what I love abt locs in general, they enhance our natural beauty and you are a natural beauty. Peace and love
siSTAR, Love you, love your journeys but more than anything I love the way you speak. Your vocabulary is on point.
hair has grown so much in these past weeks you've been M.I.A... Locs look healthy and beautiful
She is Soooo beautiful
thanks for sharing!!! i miss my relaxed hair, but i know that returning to that is NOT an option. i was a loose natural for three years, and i never miss that because the maintenance was killer!!! my biggest regret was not allowing someone else to start them so i could have a more uniform size locs. i did them myself, and i have a mixture of sizes because of the density of my hair on certain sections of my head. i absolutely love sister locs, but they were not an option because the maintenance cost and time would mirror being a loose natural. some days my dissatisfaction is so strong that I consider starting over while I'm still early in the game. other days i own my imperfect hair like i own the imperfections in my body (with the ferocity a vigor).
I enjoyed the way you talked all this out SO much!!!! Thank you for this video
I feel the same way about my sisterlocks. I just feel like they are too short and not growing fast enough. In reality, it's an unhappiness in another area of my life. I realized that while watching this video. Thanks So MUCH for sharing! I guess I'll keep them, they are way to expensive to take out anyway lol
Yes yes yes..... I was there I was there 2 years ago... and I'm the same way about my hair, I hate it I love it I hate it I love it... serious hand in headitis.. i love styling but then I can get very lazy with my hair. Unlike you, I ended up picking out my locs. I saw the length I had accumulated and I was thrilled.... for 2 months...I had to deal with my hair again and that was a process that I had forgottening how much I hated... then I cut it all off.. it was the first time I had ever had my hair so short. I loved it!! But after a year I missed having hair and believe it or not short hair was even more maintenance for me than any other style. My locs would have been 6 years old today. Today I'm rocking a new set of locs... they are 7 months old and fully loc'd... way faster than last time around. I wrote a letter to myself about the pros and cons of going back to loose natural and the cons greatly outweigh the pros. I had to find a balance... so I have a loc mohawk, that way if I ever feel like I need to feel my loose hair I'll just grow out the sides. Then my hair starts growing back and realize that I don't miss it like that at all. The hawk is the perfect balance for me as I can be the super tomboy that I am or if I'm feeling particularly girly I can curl them and wear them to the side or I can cover both sides. I'm a flip flopper and a true Libra as my husband would say. But even though I did what I did, it needed to be done and I'm glad it turned out this way. The second time around I'm going in wiser and happier. I no longer regret the decision I made. Sorry for the long post lol this is my first time making a UA-cam comment and I'm long winded in person lol good luck to you and everyone else with their hair decisions. Locs are a truly beautiful journey that will help you learn things you didn't know about yourself....or you thought you knew.... peace and love to you all..
GIRL I FEEL YOU! Lol. I've had these same feelings off and on for the past few months. And you know I'm not even close to where you are time-wise. Haha! When I feel like this, I wrap my hair. It doesn't seem like you're about that wrap life, though? Lol.
I'm so glad you spoke about this. I've wanted to but have not found a way to articulate my feelings. 😂 I know I would regret cutting or combing out my locs. I know for sure I don't want to go back to my loose natural hair. This winter I'm going to fine a safe way rock wigs so I can have a little change. Until then I'm wrapping my locs when I feel meh about them.
I admire your ability to think through this process. I am someone who changes up my hair often. I loved my loose natural hair and then one day I decided I was tired of spending the time to care for it. So I locked it. I love it so much more than any other style I have ever worn. I am glad you did this video because if the day comes when I am feeling the same I can watch this video and explore the reason why. Thank you for sharing.
If you're unhappy with that hair you'll never be happy, you look gorgeous
Girl your hair is gorgeous in every pic, including these gorgeous locs! When I saw your thumb nail, I said to myself, "Wow, she's pretty, reminds me of Lauryn Hill!" But when I read the title, I was like, "No way!" Your locs are soooo beautiful! Thanks for being so transparent! I'm 5 months in and am in love with each step! I hope you find a good loctechian to do some cool cute styles. I honestly "can't wait" until my locs look like yours! Best wishes on your journey! Don't give up! You're gorgeous!!
WOW!! You helped me to realize that I operate in cycles. I literally am coming up on my 3 year locaversary, and I sheepishly admitted to a friend that I love my locs but sometimes I miss my natural strands. Then at the same time when I think on my conflicted feelings of maintaining my natural hair, in combination with having 3 beautiful chocolate girls to do haircare for, I can't help but thank God for locs!
This video speaks to exactly what I'm going through right now. I'll be 2 years in November. I'm also at shoulder length, and I'm also feeling frustrated with my locs. I actually went so far as to go to a salon to see if they could do a sew in, and, of course, my locs were too thick. I'm feeling stuck and frustrated because I can't seem to find any styles that make me feel pretty. I'm struggling. The point about not taking underlying life issues out on our hair is a great point and something for me to think about. In the mean time, I'm going to try accessorizing more with earrings and head wraps to see if that will get me through this rough patch. Be encouraged and know that you aren't alone.
You really just made me feel so much better. I love my locs but right now, almost a yr in - with hang time because I had an afro loose natural, I'm realllllly dissatisfied. As you pointed out though, I think because of life stress I'm blaming my hair bc that's the easy thing to do. I've wanted locs for a while and I'm not willing to give up the journey. I'm just trying to sum up how grateful I am for your transparency in this video because I don't have people around me who can relate and help me thru this time. And I will definitely be asking God to guide me thru this time as well.. Thanks a million sharing💕💕💕
when i made the decision to cut/comb out my first set of locs, i evaluated why i wanted to get rid of them. most of the reasons had to do with how they were looking and forming. so i tried my best to recitfy those things for about a year. i also cut them into a style, experimented with semi permanent dye, etc. and when i found that i still wasn't satisfied, 2 months before i was 2 years loc'd, i cut them to a shorter length and combed them out. took me about 3 days (i had thicker locs).
i don't regret doing that at all, because i did my best to try to get to a happier place with my locs. of course sometimes i look back and wonder how long they would be now, what they would look like, etc but i don't regret it. :) i'm now on my second set almost a year in!
Yes lawd!!! I am not making a video until I know which direction I'm going in. Ive found that locs are much more maintenance than my loose hair. When my hair was loose I never went to a salon unless I wanted a press or something which was never. Now I find that it takes so long to do my hair I just dont want to do it so I go to a salon. Also, I agree when you say the hair is flat. Ughhhh, I dont like that. I have been feeling this way ever since my hair passed my chin. I'm definitely not going to comb them out right now. I will wait to I hit my goal and if I still feel the same dissatisfaction, they are gone. I love locs, but Im just not feeling the look and upkeep on myself. Im glad you made this video. I was totally feeling alone in this journey...
Malikah J funny you wrote this because the one thing I love for myself and others don't is the afro like look. I don't retwist as much because I like the puffiness/big hair. I'm almost 2 years in so I hope as they continue to drop they won't be flat. I've enjoyed watching you and Joyce's journey.
Malikah J I'm curious: why don't you cut your locks just above chin length, then? If you are unhappy with them longer, cut them to a length that makes you happy. Some people actually look better with shorter hair, I know I do. I can't stand how I look with hair past my shoulders.
I can relate to this on so many levels. I'm just over 1 year, and I've had so many ups and downs. One day, I miss my fro and being able to have my fingers in it. To thinking, "are locs really for me?". "Did I make the right choice?". I'm still very much learning, and getting to know myself and hair on different levels.
I understand what you're saying, Joyce. I often feel the same way about my Sisterlocks. I am 22 months in- and I want to end the journey. But, then, I think about why I got locs and the benefits. And, I also thought about how I would wear my hair- once a lose natural again... I would wear a cute tapered cut- never being concerned with high maintenance styles ever again! You are very inspiring to a lot of loc wearers so, please learn to appreciate your locs at every stage and length. Best wishes :-)
wow you are beautiful!. I love the layers of your locs. I cant listen to the video because I'm at work so i'm going to rewatch it so I can understand why you are unhappy about your locs( I considered locing my hair recently after I had my daughter but I took them out before it locked). But my God you are certainly beautiful and I love your locs.
Okay, after watching this video, I had to see you with relaxed hair. In that searched, I discovered you have a beautiful singing voice. It looks like you haven't recorded a song cover in a while. Do you still sing and would you be willing to make a current video of yourself singing?
Thank you for always being open and honest! Your locs are gorgeous girl. :)
I love your transparency in this video! I am in the research phase before I start my loc journey! Your story will be kept in mind as I know every day is a struggle whether as a loose natural or loc'd or relaxed. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for sharing. I am going thru the same phase with my locs. I'm only 9 months in but sometimes I do miss my loose hair. This video is going help me to keep pushing and stay strong!! Thank you for sharing, really really needed this video.
My longs are down my back and YES they do drive me crazy being on my neck and in my face, I too won't use bands to pull my hair back. When I'm stressed is when my locs mostly get on my nerves. My solution came when I found the infinity wrap by Keisha Charmaine, they are my miracle worker for getting keeping my locs off my face.
I understand what you are going through. I felt the same way. try wearing a loc sock and wrap your hair sometimes. praying definitely helps to remain peaceful. your locs are beautiful!
Hey Joyce! This might seem like a small stupid comment to make but I started my loc journey a month before you and our locs are about the same size (you have more hair then me though) and it's so cool to watch you go through this journey so candidly. It's like I'm not doing it alone in a way. Anyhow, this summer I figured out a simple solution for getting my hair off of my neck and out of my face in a safe way; I use a black scrunchie to put it back. So I only use a black one because if it's going leave lint, it would be concealed. I also don't double knot it so it just loosely holds my hair but it doesn't fall out because of the texture of my locs and the actual scrunchie are rough enough to hold on. There is no tension on my hair when I do that and so I just thought it'd be a good tip for you to help you go through this moment with your locs.
Im so grateful for this video. You just convinced me that locs are definitely for me. I just have to stick through the discomfort. I've always hated dealing with my hair. That's why I went natural. But natural is a lot of manipulative work. Locs are the answer!
I am locing my hair this coming Tuesday 24 October, I am really excited. its a combination of frustration with braids, but also a strong need to want to be true to myself. I need to be me, fully. Thanks so much for your videos. You are beautiful.
When I think of my own journey of being a loose natural for 8 years and then a Loc'd natural for 20 months, I've recognized that how I'm feeling about my hair is often - but not always - how I'm feeling about myself.
Right before I Loc'd I thought my "hair" was boring so I cut it, but really if I'm honest I was feeling bored with myself and manifested that on my hair. Kinda like what you said. That's happened to me a few times - sometimes I act and sometimes I do not. Lately I feel waves of love and then waves of dissatisfaction with my Locs, but I'm learning also to not react to these feeling but rather explore them and sometimes just ignore them.
Also, for me it is not easy having Locs as a professional. My hair is super fuzzy and it kinks up quickly around my edges. So on a daily I have to assess the state of my hair through a number of lenses. That gets on my nerves and I know that can be an influencer on how I'm feeling about my hair.
I remember starting my locs around the same time as you! I also felt dissatisfied and went even as far as the salon waiting room but i starting thinking about how I am so near 2 years and I'm so sure that I just need to embrace these stages and enjoy what it will turn out to be in the future. Seeing my sister's hair also makes me miss my loose hair. my biggest struggle with locs is moisturizing and am sure with much research I will find a solution.
I've experienced similar thoughts of dissatisfaction many times when going through my hair journey. I transitioned from relaxed hair to natural. Then I went from natural to relaxed again but with more texture left in my hair. Then I went from that to a tapered natural haircut. Then I made the mistake of trying the textured relaxed hair again. I decided to cut that all off not long after I did it, so I was left with a very small afro with some relaxed ends. After about a year or so of wigs, I decided to install my locs. Although I am now the most satisfied that I've ever been with my hair, there are still times when I have those thoughts of dissatisfaction and they come at times of frustration or impatience with my hair. I agree with waiting it out and looking at the pros and cons of the decision because, as I've experienced, things change as your hair grows and matures and you learn new techniques. So things that frustrated me at the time I have either learned how to fix it, it has fixed itself with time, or I've learned how to cope with it.
Also, one way I have been getting my hair out of my face and off my neck since I started my locs is with 3-4 inch thick headbands. I basically create the "pineapple" style and just let the hair fall. I never double loop the band or make it tight. Thanks for sharing!
I like ur hair better now. Not a bad choice in my eyes. I can see ur texture just fine. The roots give it away especially. Not loose texture, but accessing it in a different way. But I totally understand how you feel. You're right. It's normal to have these feelings. Beautiful girl.
Thank you for this! The best way to get your hair texture to speak though your locs is to make them THICKER! Let your hair grow in thicket locs and you will see its natural texture and shape thrive! I transitioned into thicker locs and feel like i have both an afro and locs which is awesome!
I love this video! Im not unhappy with my locs, but I can relate to much of what you have stated. Like you, I started on very long loose natural hair (two strand twists (almost waist length) to now have shoulder length locs (without ever cutting). Lol. I also miss my big wash and go's and twist-outs, but the convenience of locs has sold me, and Id never go back (well at least no time soon). 😊
I total understand how you feel. I have had my locs for 18 years now and have had that feeling many times. I use wraps which have helped so much. I even did almost a year straight of wrapping my hair and it actually felt quite liberating. It keeps my hair off of my neck (which is waist length) and I love the questioning looks I get of "I wonder what her hair looks like under there." You just have to do wants good for you. My pet hate has always been covering it at night. So sometimes I do, most of the time I don't.
Any change will cause us to question our decisions sometimes. As for me, my Locs have gone thru many, many changes as Locs do as they grow. They are constantly changing in texture, length, strength, weakness, beautiful, long, soft, not so soft, fuzzy, gorgeous! You name it. That's what Locing your hair is all about. I have been Loced for 12 years and I love them. My hair is very long, thick and wonderful. Locs are very, very DNA sensitive. Your DNA makes up your Locs and their texture, the way they look, hang, shine, grow, etc. Hang in there, and you will see that Locs are amazing. But, they do change a lot as they grow.
Happy Locs!
I always imitate locs when i do mini twists and after a month I miss my hair texture and having the access to touch and detangle and feel my hair, so I understand you. If you are unhappy with your locs then its okay to go back to the out and free natural hair and then when you get all your hair out and fluffy like you used to have it and you want the feeling of locs again just mini twist and you can have the feel of locs again. I was thinking about locs, but everytime I want locs I mini twist my hair and then release the mini twists when I want my big curly hair back. Hope this helps😊😊
I feel this all the time lately with my hair, I am dissatisfied until I change it up. Thank you for this video but I don't feel so alone anymore.
I have never agreed more with a video! lol everything about this has me in my room going "yep!" "That's it!" "How do you know how I feel?" "Come on girl!" Lol
I wonder if OTHERS think about their hair as much as we do.
Maybe, maybe not. I think this comes with the territory for us because we have so much versatility with our hair. We can do so much, where as other people may only be able to wear their hair in one style. I think this phenomenon happens when you have a lot of choices available to you, when you only have one choice... theres not much to think about.
JoyceMD that makes alot of sense. I love the versatility we have. Your locs are bomb by the way. I love your videos you dont just talk you make me think. Keep up great work!
Others do. I belong to a curly hair group on FB. It's tens of thousands of women in the group and most are non black. They are talking technique, products, sharing success and failures, etc.
After initially taking them down the first time, i relocked my hair within a year and took them down again after starting a new job in April. The TAKEDOWN of my second set (only 11 months locked) was something I'd never wish on anyone. One thing I can say is I learned just how strong my hair had become in such a short amount of time. I can only imagine how long that will take but stay motivated and keep going. My motivation was seeing my hair in a curly, thick, high bun. i saved the detangling process for another week altogether. Thank you for sharing this!!!
thx for sharing. i needed the motivation!
Your locs are beautiful. Leave them alone and let them grow so you can style them. Once you allow them to grow out, you will be pleased. I've had locs before and cut them off because I was too hot at night. Now Im back again locking it up. I miss my loose natural too but, I'm going to leave my locs alone because I love the convenience of not bothering my hair so much. Hang in there young lady!
I went through the same thing two weeks ago 18 months in. I was so unsatisifed and unhappy with my locs. I could not keep my scalp clean enough and I no longer felt attractive. Locs accumulate so much dirt it was too much. It was also hard to deal with the fuzziness around the perimeter of my hair which led to me feeling unattractive. I am no longer on my journey. I am happy with my decision. I dont intend to grow my natural hair long because all of what you said, with the maintenance. I intend on keeping it in a short cute tapered cut. I wish you the best with your journey. Thanks for sharing your honest feelings.
Your texture definitely shows through your locs. Your hair is very unique! I would no doubt be able to recognize you from the back of your head. I have heard other youtubers say similar things about your hair. It's really beautiful and characteristic, whatever you decide to do with it.
Thanks for encouraging others who are having a tough time, Joyce. I don't want to cut mine out due to shrinkage, either. I like having long hair.
The only access I think I still have to my texture is my (purposefully combed out and loosened) ends; the curly ends still have my curl pattern. I really really miss the sensation of touching loose natural hair in the shower. My hair felt like a luxury good, like expensive and unique curled silk. My locs just deal with water, now, instead of the way my loose hair drank it up and loved it.
This thought process 😂⚰️💐 I've gone through the same feeling of cutting my hair but I just ignore myself. I got too much time in this scalp.
I totally understand, I have 3c hair and I love my texture... That is why I did not lock myedges and also I didn't cut off the loose ends at the bottom of my locks so it's still my loose natural curly hair at the bottom of my locks so they're basically homemade goddess locs.
First of all your locs are absolutely gorgeous❤ I feel like i sometimes just have locs bad hair days and when I do Scarf time. I am only 8 months in just a few days ago they started rebelling. I put in a side part which is versatile for me and they decided to create a middle part. So rather than fight with them i let them do what they want. I have to say i have no regrets and i never think of taking them out. I love them and have never felt so comfortable being me.Much Love H-Town❤
This is a great video for me as I consider getting locs. It is helping me re-analyse why I will probably get them and to learn and have proper expectations. Thank you!
Thanks!!! I am so happy to turn to your Video...you saved me!!! I was totally fed up with my hair today I did not go to church...I had the scissors and I was ready to cut all my locks off but the fact is what was I going to do after that! I think my problem is partly internal but my locks are so damaged.. I did trim them shorter and I'm going to be more kinder...
Do need help... I'm going to wait and not act on impulse...thanks so much for sharing and being honest and truthful... Will keep you posted...
Your locs are gorgeous!!!!
Her hair is amazing
I've never seen such perfect set of locs, holy. Wow. I'm inspired
I can relate to the locs on the neck thing. I cut my locs in the back for this reason. I've decided to grow it into a bob that stops at my nape and keep it at that length. I think that's what has helped me avoid having as much dissatisfaction, though I DO wish that my layers were grown out already, but that's going to take time. I hope you find what works for you. I also get the part about being dissatisfied in other areas and focusing on superficial things as a result.
I applaud you for being so strong! The moment i started hating my locs, i cut them off. Now i miss them! 😢😢😢 I would have been two years locked by now as well...
Interesting to hear your whole thought process, but all I could really think was, DAMN THIS GIRL IS BEAUTIFUL!! No matter which style, wow! Your husband is a lucky man.
Thanks for sharing! 🙂. I'm natural and almost ready to loc. I've been paying particular attention to you and a few others that are just about the same place in their journey as you, and they have expressed similar concerns. So, this lets me know what to expect; it's part of the evolution. (In no way am I diminishing your experience, I'm just preparing myself) . Interestingly, I remember you mentioned initially that you were looking for the sisterlocks "look" and I can now see that as your locs are maturing, they have begun to thin out significantly . It will be interesting to see how they look this time next year!!! Press on ✌🏾💕
I totally understand. I don't think of being rid of my locs, because I know I can't do my loose natural hair. None of those twist outs or braid outs looked good to me, on me. Thanks for the video!!
i've been mentally preparing and kinda going back and forth on when i'll start mine OR if i want to keep my texture since I did my big chop i've been getting to know my hair. thanks for this post, it's nice to be reminded not to freak out
Your feeling are normal,I've had locs for almost 3 years... I've pushed through all of the feelings you've spoken about.I often times use a loc sock or I will do a simple basket weave to get the locs off of my neck ...hang in there!
Thanks for sharing
GIRL. I just rediscovered basket weaves and they are giving me life!!!
Yes I agree 😁
You're so beautiful and I agree it's really important that we pay attention to make sure we're not making emotional decisions with our hair. This is something I have to examine regarding color treating my locs
This is my second loc journey. And I'm there with you. The exact same feelings. You are giving language to whereI am at right now. Thank you. I can put the scissors down..... whew!!!
I never thought I would have this issue because I'm a rather decisive person, but I did. Unfortunately, I didn't realize it was something else entirely until after I had cut one loc completely off and combed out two others. Also, because Damian Walter is my loctician, I had some explaining to do when I went to see him. So, I totally get this. I hit the 3 year mark yesterday with a couple of baby locs at the front of my head. They are a visual reminder to stop and search within for the real issue whenever I start thinking about doing something drastic to my hair.
I just cut all mine off AGAIN!!! This makes my 4th big chop... Maybe 5. I'm thinking about locking mine this time. Something different. But yours are beautiful. The size of the locks are perfect!