So sorry for being so slow to upload more videos! I do have more Autism content planned! I've got a playlist going here: ua-cam.com/play/PLd96m53oYQcBQl3x_6goyvIrK1u7wChL-.html
You are not alone Courtney I have a learning disability and I've recently diagnosed with hemicrania continua and I'm still trying to process it but are not alone I have a nephew who has autism . Don't listen to the haters it's something we have to except . for me I have to except my new disability. Letting you know you are loved by everyone . I enjoy watching your video and podcast because I'm a huge mermaid nerd too. You are unique and awesome. You take care of yourself and I love your new hair cut you are rocking it I love your tails they look so real
In my experience, being formally diagnosed changed nothing externally. It just helped my own understanding and ability to be kind to myself. Whenever I doubt myself or doubt that I am different, I remember a licensed qualified stranger came to the same conclusion after testing me. The self doubt doesn't ever leave. Being able to confront the doubt and logically still accept yourself is everything.
Yes! I am at peace with being self diagnosed. Also in the country where I live, there is just absolutely no place and professional to diagnose autistic adults…. so.. I am fine with my self diagnosis 😊
I have been self diagnosed for years. Recently I found an affordable place for testing, saved the money for the eval, and was really excited to finally have the medical diagnosis as “proof”. Then when I was ready to schedule an appointment, I panicked. I’ve been so anxious that I psyched myself out. 🤷♀️ I really want to have it done but am more afraid of getting an evaluator who doesn’t understand that a 50 year old woman could be autistic. Thank you for these videos. They’re so helpful to me. I’ve also realized after a few years of unmasking and meeting my own needs, how many needs and struggles I actually have.
I’m self diagnosed. I’ve just turned 60 and have an assessment booked in September. I found a therapist who is Autistic herself. When I did a search, I found a lot of neurodivergent psychologists who do assessments here in Australia. It’s not covered by any kind of health insurance and it’s not available in the public system for adults, so it does cost and it is expensive. But if I’m going to pay this money, I definitely would prefer to be assessed by someone autistic themselves. I am actually really looking forward to it.
Excellent video! The thing about people stating that self-diagnosis isn't valid has been frustrating to me because how many times have I heard someone in the office say "I have the flu", "I have a cold", "it's just allergies", "it's just a sprain", etc... etc... and they've definitely not seen a doctor about it. That is what I would call a potentially more damaging self-diagnosis. And let's be real here, a declaration versus a diagnosis are two completely different things. A diagnosis, when done correctly, means looking at a list of criteria, a list of things from the person's life, and trying to find out which end result fits the data correctly. Having a degree and being a third-party observer can definitely help things, but I honestly don't think it is 100% required. So far, I've not met these mythical people who have listened to a 'list of five things' and now declare themselves autistic. What I have seen a lot of are people who have sat down, read the diagnostic criteria in the DSM, put a list of bullet points together, looked at life in the frame of those bullet points, asked family and friends about what they can remember from years past, asked coworkers or teachers, childhood friends, ex partners, had a significant amount of stress and self-doubt so tried to apply labels such as OCD or ADD or ADHD, but kept coming back to autism. The process I've seen people put themselves through in doing a life review, finding documents from teachers/schools/workplaces, talking to family, watching videos of themselves as a child, researching, and writing more things down can easily take 40 plus hours. A professional diagnosis will generally take eight or less hours. Which person is more likely to have the more complete view?
YES! I'm just going to leave this here... it's a response I had to a video I came across the other day, we definitely have the same approach on the subject for sure! Don't have much time right now so just copying and pasting as it was. But don't people typically know themselves, deep down, better than a stranger (regardless of the stranger being a professional)? I've been misdiagnosed with different things because I didn't open up properly and was masking away as if my life depended on it during that time. Also, it's not hard for someone to find and take most if not all of the tests that they ask you to take in order to distinguish what it is anyway. I believe what self-diagnosis has over "official" diagnosis in terms of likelihood of being right versus wrong is the individuals deepest most inward lived-through experiences in full truth and transparency, plus, give or take the same information on the subject/s if you look extensively enough anyway. (This is assuming an honest go at it all by the individual of course - and this internal dishonesty can very well go both ways.) I definitely get why one could see reason to aim for a written paper from an outside human about the way their own personal mind works too, mainly for those reasons you mentioned pertaining to the way this world works, but I can also understand and respect why one might not feel the need to at all. Autistic people are autistic no matter their diagnosis or lack thereof. And some "officially diagnosed autistic people" in reality can be not autistic at all. So really we should only be able to say "Ok👍🙂" regardless of where they're at with that. Because bottom line is, as outsiders, you never know for sure. But at the same time, I'd rather not intentionally make anyone on this earth feel unvalidated for their (however alleged, but most likely real) lived through experiences just for the very very few (I'm sure) that exist who are out for attention or the like, for whatever reason? Just my thoughts.
I just got my late autism diagnosis on the 22nd of may 2024. Just 8 days ago. I'm 43 years old. I'm forever grateful for autistic youtubers like you. It means the world to me. Thank you. 🏆❤
I found your channel when you posted about getting a diagnosis, and have now, after waiting a year, been diagnosed myself at age 59. I understand the shock and denial that floats into your mind afterwards. It feels so odd that nobody noticed me struggling. I also have a binder full of my notes and research and will continue to add to it as I "re-view" my life through this lens. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this content! You are a very brave person to share this with the world. ...and I absolutely love your mermaid tails/art/creativity. Gorgeous! ❤
Hey everyone, if you're in Canada an official diagnosis of autism can help you apply for DTC. The reduced income tax can be claimed for years past and this has helped our family pay off the cost of the assessments as well as the cost of consequent psychologist/therapy meetings. Hope this helps some of you!
With my autism research, I never would've known that most autistic people are side sleepers. That constant naps are a form of masking, and that flushed cheeks are one of the signs of sensory overload. Thank you for your videos. :) I think I'm autistic, but I don't have too much of a routine, or much to go on for thinking back to my childhood. But I do have my answers to the self autism tests that you recommended from your autism diagnosis video. They all say I'm autistic. I have a lot of stims, like hand flapping, body rocking, cracking my knuckles. Pinching my bottom lip is a big stim for me when I'm really engrossed in a task. I'm nervous to get a diagnosis because I don't remember much of my childhood. All I know is I was bullied quite a bit in middle school and high school. And I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child.
The whole point is to "make our lives easier!" - yes! I'm 2 yrs into self-diagnosis and have gotten pushback from (well-intentioned) loved ones about how labels are bad and what I call an Autistic struggle is an "everyone" struggle. It's frustrating (and in lower moments also makes me feel ashamed - I must not be working "hard enough" if this is something everyone struggles with but still functions, but I'm not functioning.) The more I learn about this, the more I'm reaching out to people who might understand to help me accommodate myself (thx for suggesting that!!) - and life is getting easier the more I understand why. Please make more Autism content, like on how you used to mask and when/why and how you don't anymore. I'd love to hear it!
One thing that always urked me is how I was treated so differently from my peers in high school, fast forward eight years I finally understand why due to my autism diagnosis years later. Even now when I tell family members why the way I am they still don't believe I'm on the spectrum which also bothers me because I'm not faking anything and my trauma is very real and there, some people though I just don't have time for if they don't respect me for just the way I am and there isn't much I can do to change it. Mass respect to you Courtney for making these videos, they really help me ask questions about myself and that I'm not alone. 💜
It really irks me also when I trust someone enough to disclose or to tell them directly, and then have them disbelieve me or even scoff at me. It has significantly damaged some relationships to have them be so hostile to my disclosure. I can't even look at them the same way now. Like, are you even a friend? If you can't even trust me and respect my own experience, then, forget it.
I found your channel today. The UA-cam algorithm showed me your first Autism Assessment video. As a self diagnosed person, I just wanted to say it's brave facing the UA-cam comment section. I would've 100% chickened out and turned comments off. I've got social anxiety and have been writing this comment for the past 40 minutes.
The nastiness that comes up in the comments is actually affecting some of the UA-camrs who talk about autism. I like the way this woman addresses it: "ZIP IT!" I am self-diagnosed and could care less what anyone else thinks about it. Bullying trolls make their presence felt absolutely everywhere in social media. I think they should just be ignored. Nobody's going to change them.
Thanks for the follow up, Courtney! I’m on my own way out of autistic burnout, and my official evaluation results are being written up as we speak. I can really relate to a lot of what you said. And finding an autism specific therapist has been GAME CHANGING. They are the one who ended up doing my evaluation, which they were able to pair down because we had already had a number of sessions together. It’s been tough without family support and no friends where I live yet (burnout right after moving OOF), but I’m making progress! And that feels amazing
Hi Courtney. Found you today, watched this video and cried with you. My name is Patience, I’m 74 and I just started learning about Autism. What good can come from me getting a diagnosis-one way or another, besides the relief of knowing. That would be great in itself. You brought the process into more clarity and I still am struggling with who or what I am. Right now I am pretty much isolated in my bedroom but am afraid to even try to make friends. I don’t know how to do it. Thanks for your sharing something so intimate. I subscribed to your channel . Love your work.
There is actual, scientific research out there, proving that self diagnosis is valid. It can be Googled. So everyone saying otherwise need to educate themselves or zip it.
GLOVES FOR FOLDING LAUNDRY?! Holy moly. Oh my god. I never thought of that. I want to cry. I'm trying this today. I use them for cooking, cat litter, dishes, cleaning and so many other hand-sensory hells but I never thought to try them for laundry.
It's inspring to see how you have handled things and thanks for your videos. I've had a much easier time of it perhaps because I never cared if I was different, or perhaps I was just so out of it I didn't know when people were making fun of me :) The day I got my official diagnosis my autistic daughter and autistic granddaughter brought me a set of stimming gadgets and a host of printed out autistic memes. It was a mini party. When I realized I was autistic just knowing that I was autistic allowed me to realize when I was frustrated, and I could fix that with a quick rest instead of spinning in dark thoughts for days. FWIW I was diagnosed over zoom in 2021, I don't know if they would require an in person visit now.
Hi 👋 I've only just discovered your channel. I'm currently in the process of trying to get an autism diagnosis at the age of 36 (I'm UK based). I just wanted to say thank you so much for making this video. So much of it resonated with me, especially the part about accommodating yourself 🙏❤️ I look forward to seeing more of your videos 🌈 🦄 💛
Dude I love everything about this video. What resources indeed😅 I don't get how even other autistic people are gatekeeping now. Don't we know how fucking rough it is out there to find information and help? Personally I'm glad about everyone that is realizing more about themselves because then I can go mh, how are these things for me? Do we have similarities? Can I find another piece here that maybe explains something and helps me? I'm soooo grateful that more and more people are making content about how they perceive the world. Writing books about it, making videos like you. I couldn't give less of a shit if you have a piece of paper as 'proof' or not in all that. There are so many different flavors of us so it's soooo good that more people talk about it.
If I start commenting, it will turn into a 10,000 word essay and I do not have the mental energy to pursue that rn, as much as I'm also having to hold myself back from launching into that essay. But. YES! YES YES YES YES, I WANT THIS CONTENT!
Really enjoying the autism videos that you've released, and I'm looking forward to more! As a late to the party~ on my own neurodivergence status, you capture so much of what I experienced leading up to it.
I found your channel today and it must have been something I needed. I related to so much of this and it’s nice to hear from other people their experiences. I’m only just over a year into knowing and it has been the longest year I’ve experienced yet. Thank you for sharing your experience
I was researching adult ADHD for myself when I found your video. It changed my life. I’m now in line for my assessment and I feel seen for the first time in my life. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much. I am in burnout. I am waiting for my assessment and my binder is 3-4 times thicker than that. I have been waiting for an assessment for 3 years and so I decided to self diagnose as well. I still have periods of imposter syndrome but I am 99% sure I am Autistic and I find videos like this so validating. I started my own channel recently. I am an artist and that’s how I process the memories..
Yes on the toothbrushing, too! It is such a sensory struggle some days and there is so much judgment/shame around not doing it twice a day (b/c it's so "easy" why wouldn't you?). Please make content about hygiene issues/work-arounds. Finding solutions is far better than just "shoulding" myself for the rest of my life. I'd appreciate it. Thx!
I set fire to the oil in my cast iron skillet once. I'd just moved into an apartment. It had a fire alarm which I didn't know how to turn off. When I found the fire, I covered the fire with a lid, turned off the stove, and moved the pan to another burner. When the alarm went off, I started going in circles. I kept turning the stove on and off. Then, circles again! I can't wear ear buds or head phones unless they're very low. My ears are hypersensitive. It feels like someone is injecting the music into my ears at full force. I'm presently undiagnosed. A diagnosis would make me feel better about my entire life. I tried so hard to function the same as everyone else. I've been bullied, rejected, talked down to, etc. I need the validation. I think it will be worth it!!! Thank you for your video!!❤
All of us on the spectrum are brave, , diagnosed or not. Still waiting for mine. I'm more ADHD and complex PTSD. I can relate to everything people have said about how they've been treated. I've been accused of "wanting to be different" for years. What a ridiculous thing to say! We are often lovely people that just want some kind of life. Strangely enough, the sound aspect doesn't have too much of an effect on me. However, my sense of smell is so acute, I can smell people some way away and bins. Aaaaagh! Much love 💕
I watched your autism assessment video recently and it’s really helped me with considering getting my own autism assessment. My art therapist is going to be giving me some recommendations of people she’s knows who could give me an autism assessment 😊🌈
Love this! I’m waiting for a diagnosis and accommodations are my focus. I’m learning what I like after decades of masking and making the space I control safe and comfortable for me as much as I can. Just starting this journey and very thankful for your videos ❤️
Hi Courtney! I recently found you via your autism assessment vid and have been binge watching your channel! I just wanted to say: you are amazing, I think you are so cool, and YOU ARE WORTHY and valuable and enough just by being yourself. I’m sorry to hear some of your loved ones reacted so negatively towards your vid re: your diagnosis but they’re wrong and rude and you don’t deserve that. I don’t have autism myself (as far as I know); however, I self-diagnosed (and later was diagnosed) with OCD at age 35 so I relate to things you experienced. I also have friends/family who were diagnosed with autism later in life who experienced stigma and negative feedback from loved ones. For example my sister came out as autistic on social media last year and our dad (who is undeniably narcissistic) was furious and couldn’t understand why she would air her private business to others, mostly because he sees us children as extensions of himself and thought an autism diagnosis reflected badly on him. But he’s an asshole and we weren’t placed on the planet to make our parent’s lives easier - we’re here to become independent and make the world beautiful. And Courtney you make the world more beautiful just being yourself! As painful as it is to be misunderstood and let down by loved ones, please don’t stop being true to yourself. Cling fiercely to the people and things in your life that YOU value. Be set free 💖💕
Right. We are having a hard time. Few days ago i went to a hospital and the lights OMG where so intense that my eyes hurt so i put on my sunglasses. Nobody said a word but you know the stares. Now that i know who i am and what i need i do what i need and want!!! Its ME time. Thank you for your video❤
if you are weighing the options of self identification vs medical diagnosis, I found sydney zarlengos video "rethinking my autism dx" very helpful. autistics thrive on knowing why. it's an awesome (au-some) trait.
Thank you for sharing your experience, I watched your diagnosis video and several after that. I am 53 and have an assessment scheduled for this next March - the earliest I could get where I live. I love your advice to begin accommodating myself right now and that makes so much sense that I wondered why I didn't think about it! :) I have taken your suggestion and am writing this in a two-sizes-too-big hoodie and oversized sweatpants with a fidget toy right next to me. Keep up the good work, I will be watching.
Self-diagnosed, and stopping there. Since I have reasonably good social skills, most people don't buy that I am autistic. I don't even bring it up anymore. But figuring it out for myself has been helpful because it EXPLAINS SO MUCH. I don't beat myself up as much over my problems, especially my sensory issues and my problems with executive function. My whole life makes more sense now.
You’re worth it. I wish you the best in all your endeavors. Having autism can be so exhausting so I hope you can give yourself some grace and peace. Just saw your videos about a week ago.
As someone as a level 2 autistic, there are resources such as housing, supervised living, disability benefits, and special type of work (which you don't get paid for, so u need benefits). Only if you've been formally diagnosed you will have access to this, so for people with quite some support needs it's usually very important to get formally diagnosed. (this is in the Netherlands btw, so not America) Thank you for sharing your story! ♥ PS: I love mermaids
It’s funny, I’m a little sound sensory seeking (sorry for the alliteration lol) and I wear jingly earrings just to hear them jingle. And then I also play with them all the time. But something about hearing them jingle when I move is really pleasant 🫠
As someone thats on the waitlist to get assessed, i am finding your videos really helpful. I love the idea of a binder🎉 can relate alot. Thank you for being you.
I've always felt like everybody else knew something that I didn't know; like I'm a fish out of water; like I was standing on the outside looking in. It wasn't until I started wondering if I was autistic that any of this made any sense at all. And it was quite literally today, right now, watching this video, typing out this comment, that I realized how many different ways I have learned to describe this feeling that I am not the same as the other people around me. Fortunately, I have been doing things to accommodate myself for years, mostly because it was the only way I could function in the world. At the same time feeling like I was weird and somehow wrong for needing them. Knowing that there is an actual neurological reason that I do, is absolutely freeing and validating! Videos like this help so much! Thank you!
Here in Australia, some psychologists offer autism assessments online. I have an assessment booked in September this year with a psychologist who is herself autistic and lives in another state. I have to fill out some questionnaires, then there is a 2 hour interview (she can do them face-to-face or via Zoom, since I live interstate I have chosen the zoom option). After the interview there more questionnaires to be completed online. Then I have to wait six weeks for the report. September 23rd can’t come soon enough for me.
I just received my professional diagnosis two weeks ago and yes, it was involved, intense and quite expensive. However, I can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt that it was absolutely worth it! I finally understand myself so much better now and my life makes so much more sense. And yes (for all the naysayers), I was also self-diagnosed for about 10 months before I ever got the professional diagnosis. It only confirmed what I already was quite sure of deep down. Your videos about this process have been so helpful along the way. Thank you!
My fav part of this video (i loved the whole thing) but fav was the taking all our resources little snort eugh 😂 that was champ and made me laugh out loud both times (loved the little helium voice version at the beginning) 😆
Okay first thing was being reminded of going to my in-laws and putting in my Loop earplugs and trying to read in another room. AND JUST BEING CONSTANTLY INTERRUPTED 😂 Like, I'm here, I did the social part, and now I'm trying to take a break! The second part is the conversation with my therapist about going for an assessment: My doctor agreed to the referral but it's like 18-24 months so I've been stewing. Then my doctor called and wanted a parent/caregiver to verify my experience. I'm 40. Having my parents recount things from like 35+ years ago a) already gets my mom pouring in the mom guilt b) feels like invalidating my experience. So now I'm at "is a diagnosis actually going to matter?" (I am trying to accommodate myself anyway)
I have a different reason for loving my Waterpik. I struggle with flossing. It may be partly a dexterity thing, but it’s really hard to get my hands and fingers to move the right way to get the floss between my teeth. It would take 30 minutes or more, and be very painful. As a result, I almost never floss at home; the only times it happens is during a dental checkup. But the Waterpik is easy. I can do that daily in just a few minutes. The game changer for me was the head with a small circle of bristles (the water jet comes out the middle, between the bristles). It’s much easier for me to feel when the bristles are flat against my teeth and gums, so I know it’s pointed in the right direction.
Oh my goodness, when you got to the part where you were talking about teeth brushing I cried. I'm nearly 53 and am finally getting my assessment this July. Thank you so much for this video
As someone who just recently got diagnosed and was (in some ways unwittingly) already accommodating for themself, 100% vouch for accommodating before the evaluation and diagnosis process. Any provider worth their salt will take that into consideration while evaluating. Mine did-said in the recommendations section of the report that not only should I keep doing what I'm doing, but that that accommodation should be allowed in establishments such as work or school. So it can also make any accommodations part of the process much easier and faster!
Thank you for your videos! You have been helpful and comforting and help me feel a little less crazy 🥰 Btw, I really appreciate you filtering out the curses haha ❤️
I check the box for SPCD not ASD but I am a moderate needs autistic diagnosed with Asperger’s in 2006 at 22. Thanks for your courage. I’m having an OT assessment because I’ve had motor skill challenges all my life but had never been severe enough to require equipment I’m just hoping if it is hypotonic CP, I will also receive it because it’s been an exhausting struggle to not be believed and know all the challenges that come.
Great video. Definitely want to put emphasis on the fact that self diagnosis is valid. I self diagnosed myself at 15 and 9 years later recently on my 24th birthday I received my official Autism diagnosis.
Courtney, I’ve been with your channel for years. It was how I discovered mermaiding and decided to try it. Several months before you posted the video about your autism diagnosis, I started wondering if I might be autistic and over the past year I’ve been compiling data points that suggest I am autistic. I was quite surprised about your autism diagnosis. You don’t seem any different from me, but that would make sense if we’re both autistic. I know I don’t personally know you, and you don’t know me, but I almost feel like we’ve been on this journey together. I don’t currently have any plans for an official assessment (for a number of reasons) but I’ve already discovered so much about myself and I’m 98% certain that I am autistic. I will still watch your channel no matter what you post, and your autism videos have been an unanticipated helpful thing
I will have no choice but to go by self diagnosing. I had my physician put through a referral to the Adult Autistic Testing Clinic at the Glenrose Hospital in Edmonton. The Glenrose is the only place that gives free testing for adults in Alberta. I received a letter last week and the waiting list they stated is over (( 7 years )) !!! Even if I had the money there are no Psychiatrists taking patients in the province who do testing for $$. I think I will just take the tests you suggested on your other video and live with that.
Both grasp (us based) and embrace autism (canadian based) will assess canadians online for less that local bc places will /however/ if you need it for the government to prove some kind of disability or what not you will need a local person to confirm and at that point you may wind up having to foot the cost of another assessment fully depending on what the provence/territory/state requires....
I believe the AQ questionnaire is scientifically validated (and it is available online), so that's a good place to start. You're correct, however, that (at least in the U.S.), a person doesn't legally have ASD (ie meet the ADA criteria ) unless a clinician has assessed them and diagnosed them.
If it’s any reassurance I thought your video was good. It was raw and real. You shouldn’t have to pretend for the crowd (but we both know the type of world we live in…)
In terms of resources in Canada, there is (Federally) the disability tax credit, registered disability savings plan and provincial help will differ province to province. I am currently getting assistance from both governmental sectors. And occupational therapy.
Really nice video, your very relateable. I have my assessment on Monday and am freaking out, but I made a book with all my autistic related notes in simmilar to your binder.
I love your rants. They are hilarious and cathartic. Can I give you a list of the stupid, exasperating things that I encounter so you can rant about them for me too? That would make me feel better. Thanks.😊
It's really too bad you had to spell a lot of this out, but you're a great sport for doing so! I hope people know how valuable your transparency is. Now for my Autism Advocate coming out for a moment: Self-diagnosis is considered valid for practitioners who are either Neurodiverse themselves or who are Neurodiversity-positive and have an updated understanding of the entire spectrum. Unfortunately, laypeople seem to forget it's called a spectrum for a reason and seem to love to give themselves the authority to say what is valid and what is not.
I was able to get a zoom appointment via Wilderwood just fyi - Mom on the Spectrum referred me - it was hard to find someone who assesses here in Maine. Wilderwood ONLY assesses girls and women.
Saw the binder chapter and thought it was going to be a different kind of binder. My queer neurospicyass always forgetting a video topic by the second chapter... I watched like 9 videos before coming to this most recent one to ask you a very important question which is where did you buy your signature tiedye hoodie BUT YOU'RE NOT WEARING IT. If you saved the tag after cutting it off I'd love it to be an easter egg in the background of the next video! 😂
To whomever asked the questions that got us 20:47: I think a "legit option" for getting a _formal diagnosis_ (which I presume is what's meant here?) is necessarily going to involve seeing a professional. That said, I'm currently going through an assessment that's being done remotely via telehealth type sessions, so... if that counts as "online", then yes, it's possible. But not, like, a self-administered test or whatever -- that might help you decide whether to self-diagnose, but it won't give you an official diagnosis.
Could you talk about more your skills regression and recovery? I have only experienced that intensely when I have had episodes of major depression and crippling insomnia in the past, but they were after major life events or serious illness. That being said, I would like to do whatever I can to pre-emptively mitigate one caused from traumatic blowback after interpersonal dynamics go south or something slightly less cataclysmic happens.
Also I am self diagnosed and have started the hardest part of the journey for me the unmasking. I am still on the journey of finding ways to accommodate for my needs and my childrens. Tomorrow is my birthday and a party is the farthest from what I want and the people who I have distanced lately because of their denial of autism besides a level 3 are calling asking what I'm doing for my birthday. When I responded with NO party they ask why I was depressed 🙄 just listen please.
Thx for your content. Very helpful. I just tell people I found out I’m autistic and share how that understanding is helping me understand how to work with/around/optimize the way my brain processes sensation and information. I have validated my own assessment thoroughly w family members who are diagnosed themselves or have diagnosed children/grandchildren, and my long time clinical psychologist, primary care and neurology team are all on board that this is reasonable to proceed in the direction of accommodations. There is some legislation being cooked up by the right wing to consider people who are diagnosed autistic as unfit to make their own medical decisions re gender affirming care, advanced directive, sterilization etc. I am reconsidering the value of putting myself thru it which I have plenty of time to do as the wait will be about a year or more. Also I underwent a hostile neuropsych testing process years ago to get a baseline on brain function because I had debilitating insomnia. I was in a melt down and a threat response the entire appt and it was simply horrible - I believe it exacerbated the burnout I was in and the dr wanted to play try this try that w psych meds and various diagnostics based on observing me in a meltdown trying to cope for 4 hours, pathologizing as mental illness my neurological and processing differences/challenges- I had already tried those meds and they all made me much worse. So I am still going to make a binder. But where I come out is here: mds, particularly neuropsyches, are deeply fallible. Medical interventions are codified by patents and profit motive. Dsm is deeply flawed. Anything that can be determined w actual testing (mri blood cat scan ekg etc) and medical training informed results interpretation and rx for mitigation of condition and or symptoms is useful. An interpretive assessment is subject to my own scrutiny and distrust of psychologized and condescending interpretations of a so called expert - honestly I trust my own assessment equally to theirs on anything not subject to an objective measure. I know what I know. At this stage (65) im not making (except where appropriate) a point of it in any direction. Just happy to understand my system better and be able to advocate for myself or lend context to why my needs and responses are so different from others yet still utterly valid. Anyone who exhibits a stake in or wants to question or argue w me re whether I am “actually autistic” or not is already inappropriately seeing themselves as the arbiter of my experience and my own well- grounded assessment of the situation, which I do not grant them the authority to do. I get it why an official diagnosis would be validating and I don’t think it’s useless but I’m getting into the mind set of - if you think I’m not- feel free to prove that to me. Like in the groc store. I get so badly dyspraxic when people stand too close to me that I can’t pack my own bags or work the card reader. I asked someone who was offended that I asked them to step back if it hurts them to stand back because it was causing me dysfunction and distress for them not to. Now I just warn people I’m slow and can be less slow if they can stand back a bit - that it would help me a lot and most people are congenial about it. I told my regular checkers I’m autistic and they get it. Same logic- you want to insult me by making up that your idea of autism and your observation of me under virtuoso masking could be more valid than my family history, my childhood experiences, my therapist of over 15 years, my GP, my autistic relatives, every online official disgnostic test available Occam’s razor of what condition my experiences and symptoms fit to a T etc - that it is silly and pretentious for anyone but me to argue the point for any reason. Loving myself and being clear who I am doesn’t always come easily - and- standing for the validity of what I do, actually, know to be a rational and appropriate assessment on the topic, is something that is letting the neuropsych diagnosis wait or other people’s interpretations to NOT be not the center of my situation and adaptations and self care thereof. For example finding an autistic mac support person who can relate to me and speak my language to help me deal w some computer set up and use issues. I’m so grateful for all the brave and skillful content creators and the chance to express myself where I can be heard and understood it’s a lifeline in a somewhat challenging process. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏
I'm new to the whole Autism thing. Yet to be tested by a doctor or done a self test. I plan on leaving it to the doctor. I've watched a number of UA-camrs about what Autism is and somethings I think yes that's me and somethings that aren't me. Then there's somethings I think aren't me like sensory issues and then later I realise that they are an issue just something I've overlooked. Like I need sunglasses outside and I don't care if it's overcast I'm wearing my sunglasses. Also I'm very sensitive to hot and cold foods. I'm certain I'm autistic but decided I'm not telling my family until I'm diagnosed. I really felt for years that there's been something wrong with me with no answer and part of the issue is because of my communication problems I was unable to tell people what was wrong. I know I have a learning disability and I have a limit on what I'm capable of understanding. It wasn't until I seen a psychiatrist that she noticed it. What I find really annoying is there's people online I've told that I think I'm autistic and they said "oh I thought you already knew" like they already suspected it and said nothing.
For us late diagnosed folks: Almost everybody who's gotten a diagnosis by anybody but themselves - started out self-diagnosing. It's just how things naturally progress imho. I mean... Not really up for discussion. Right? Right? If YOU didn't think there was something going on then why even start the whole process? It's not fun. It's really taxing in many ways. So - yeah. Absolutely not discussing whether or not self-diagnosis is valid. Because duh! Of course it is.
You know my husband went to his doctor because he had been struggling with what he thought was ADHD. His doctor asked him some questions and BOOM! he diagnosed him with ADHD. I'm sitting here like damn, I wish it was like that easy for me. I have to pay 1K out of pocket maybe to get this diagnoses because f'n insurance won't pay for it. The only reason why I'm doing it is for me because everyone in my family is like "yeah, you maybe weird but you aren't autistic."
I'm getting my assessment at the end of this month. But I also have adhd and don't know how to start my binder! Can't focus on how to start on it.....😅
I brought not a binder, but a few print outs and written notes to my sons assessment and the assessee acted angry. He ask if I just wanted my son to have autism he was 10 @ the time so NO it has taken me years to come to this conclusion. He dismissed every single point I had. My son is very anxious high masking in public so if course you did not see what I see in two hrs.
I have watched all of your autism videos and commented on a couple of them. I am 57 offically diagnosed in September 2023 ($4,000 cdn) and I have not been able to find a post assessment counsellor. I had a regular one for when I completely lost my mind last January (burnout) and that was $4,800 for the year. So YES, very expensive (agree with "what resources"?) and now I can't find a therapist to help me navigate my post diagnosis. Fortunately like many of us, I can research the crap out of anything that interests me so I have helped myself with accommodations, etc. but my personal relationships are in shambles. Who did you use, would you be willing to share that information?
So sorry for being so slow to upload more videos! I do have more Autism content planned! I've got a playlist going here: ua-cam.com/play/PLd96m53oYQcBQl3x_6goyvIrK1u7wChL-.html
You are not alone Courtney I have a learning disability and I've recently diagnosed with hemicrania continua and I'm still trying to process it but are not alone I have a nephew who has autism . Don't listen to the haters it's something we have to except .
for me I have to except my new disability. Letting you know you are loved by everyone . I enjoy watching your video and podcast because I'm a huge mermaid nerd too. You are unique and awesome. You take care of yourself and I love your new hair cut you are rocking it I love your tails they look so real
In my experience, being formally diagnosed changed nothing externally. It just helped my own understanding and ability to be kind to myself. Whenever I doubt myself or doubt that I am different, I remember a licensed qualified stranger came to the same conclusion after testing me. The self doubt doesn't ever leave. Being able to confront the doubt and logically still accept yourself is everything.
Yes! I am at peace with being self diagnosed. Also in the country where I live, there is just absolutely no place and professional to diagnose autistic adults…. so.. I am fine with my self diagnosis 😊
@@Velvet_wings9 Good for you!!🙏🏾☺️
I have been self diagnosed for years. Recently I found an affordable place for testing, saved the money for the eval, and was really excited to finally have the medical diagnosis as “proof”. Then when I was ready to schedule an appointment, I panicked. I’ve been so anxious that I psyched myself out. 🤷♀️
I really want to have it done but am more afraid of getting an evaluator who doesn’t understand that a 50 year old woman could be autistic.
Thank you for these videos. They’re so helpful to me.
I’ve also realized after a few years of unmasking and meeting my own needs, how many needs and struggles I actually have.
(fellow 50-yr old self-dx'd woman, I see you, sister ❤)
Sisterhood of 50' women ,me 58!
Also me, in the self dx 50s club.
I’m self diagnosed. I’ve just turned 60 and have an assessment booked in September. I found a therapist who is Autistic herself. When I did a search, I found a lot of neurodivergent psychologists who do assessments here in Australia. It’s not covered by any kind of health insurance and it’s not available in the public system for adults, so it does cost and it is expensive. But if I’m going to pay this money, I definitely would prefer to be assessed by someone autistic themselves. I am actually really looking forward to it.
Me as well. 56yo. and feel like my life has just begun.
Excellent video!
The thing about people stating that self-diagnosis isn't valid has been frustrating to me because how many times have I heard someone in the office say "I have the flu", "I have a cold", "it's just allergies", "it's just a sprain", etc... etc... and they've definitely not seen a doctor about it. That is what I would call a potentially more damaging self-diagnosis.
And let's be real here, a declaration versus a diagnosis are two completely different things. A diagnosis, when done correctly, means looking at a list of criteria, a list of things from the person's life, and trying to find out which end result fits the data correctly. Having a degree and being a third-party observer can definitely help things, but I honestly don't think it is 100% required.
So far, I've not met these mythical people who have listened to a 'list of five things' and now declare themselves autistic.
What I have seen a lot of are people who have sat down, read the diagnostic criteria in the DSM, put a list of bullet points together, looked at life in the frame of those bullet points, asked family and friends about what they can remember from years past, asked coworkers or teachers, childhood friends, ex partners, had a significant amount of stress and self-doubt so tried to apply labels such as OCD or ADD or ADHD, but kept coming back to autism.
The process I've seen people put themselves through in doing a life review, finding documents from teachers/schools/workplaces, talking to family, watching videos of themselves as a child, researching, and writing more things down can easily take 40 plus hours.
A professional diagnosis will generally take eight or less hours.
Which person is more likely to have the more complete view?
YES!
I'm just going to leave this here... it's a response I had to a video I came across the other day, we definitely have the same approach on the subject for sure! Don't have much time right now so just copying and pasting as it was.
But don't people typically know themselves, deep down, better than a stranger (regardless of the stranger being a professional)? I've been misdiagnosed with different things because I didn't open up properly and was masking away as if my life depended on it during that time. Also, it's not hard for someone to find and take most if not all of the tests that they ask you to take in order to distinguish what it is anyway. I believe what self-diagnosis has over "official" diagnosis in terms of likelihood of being right versus wrong is the individuals deepest most inward lived-through experiences in full truth and transparency, plus, give or take the same information on the subject/s if you look extensively enough anyway. (This is assuming an honest go at it all by the individual of course - and this internal dishonesty can very well go both ways.) I definitely get why one could see reason to aim for a written paper from an outside human about the way their own personal mind works too, mainly for those reasons you mentioned pertaining to the way this world works, but I can also understand and respect why one might not feel the need to at all. Autistic people are autistic no matter their diagnosis or lack thereof. And some "officially diagnosed autistic people" in reality can be not autistic at all. So really we should only be able to say "Ok👍🙂" regardless of where they're at with that. Because bottom line is, as outsiders, you never know for sure. But at the same time, I'd rather not intentionally make anyone on this earth feel unvalidated for their (however alleged, but most likely real) lived through experiences just for the very very few (I'm sure) that exist who are out for attention or the like, for whatever reason? Just my thoughts.
I just got my late autism diagnosis on the 22nd of may 2024. Just 8 days ago. I'm 43 years old. I'm forever grateful for autistic youtubers like you. It means the world to me. Thank you. 🏆❤
I found your channel when you posted about getting a diagnosis, and have now, after waiting a year, been diagnosed myself at age 59. I understand the shock and denial that floats into your mind afterwards. It feels so odd that nobody noticed me struggling. I also have a binder full of my notes and research and will continue to add to it as I "re-view" my life through this lens. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this content! You are a very brave person to share this with the world. ...and I absolutely love your mermaid tails/art/creativity. Gorgeous! ❤
Hey everyone, if you're in Canada an official diagnosis of autism can help you apply for DTC. The reduced income tax can be claimed for years past and this has helped our family pay off the cost of the assessments as well as the cost of consequent psychologist/therapy meetings. Hope this helps some of you!
With my autism research, I never would've known that most autistic people are side sleepers. That constant naps are a form of masking, and that flushed cheeks are one of the signs of sensory overload.
Thank you for your videos. :)
I think I'm autistic, but I don't have too much of a routine, or much to go on for thinking back to my childhood. But I do have my answers to the self autism tests that you recommended from your autism diagnosis video. They all say I'm autistic.
I have a lot of stims, like hand flapping, body rocking, cracking my knuckles. Pinching my bottom lip is a big stim for me when I'm really engrossed in a task.
I'm nervous to get a diagnosis because I don't remember much of my childhood. All I know is I was bullied quite a bit in middle school and high school. And I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child.
The whole point is to "make our lives easier!" - yes! I'm 2 yrs into self-diagnosis and have gotten pushback from (well-intentioned) loved ones about how labels are bad and what I call an Autistic struggle is an "everyone" struggle. It's frustrating (and in lower moments also makes me feel ashamed - I must not be working "hard enough" if this is something everyone struggles with but still functions, but I'm not functioning.) The more I learn about this, the more I'm reaching out to people who might understand to help me accommodate myself (thx for suggesting that!!) - and life is getting easier the more I understand why. Please make more Autism content, like on how you used to mask and when/why and how you don't anymore. I'd love to hear it!
One thing that always urked me is how I was treated so differently from my peers in high school, fast forward eight years I finally understand why due to my autism diagnosis years later. Even now when I tell family members why the way I am they still don't believe I'm on the spectrum which also bothers me because I'm not faking anything and my trauma is very real and there, some people though I just don't have time for if they don't respect me for just the way I am and there isn't much I can do to change it. Mass respect to you Courtney for making these videos, they really help me ask questions about myself and that I'm not alone. 💜
It really irks me also when I trust someone enough to disclose or to tell them directly, and then have them disbelieve me or even scoff at me. It has significantly damaged some relationships to have them be so hostile to my disclosure. I can't even look at them the same way now. Like, are you even a friend? If you can't even trust me and respect my own experience, then, forget it.
I found your channel today. The UA-cam algorithm showed me your first Autism Assessment video. As a self diagnosed person, I just wanted to say it's brave facing the UA-cam comment section. I would've 100% chickened out and turned comments off. I've got social anxiety and have been writing this comment for the past 40 minutes.
The nastiness that comes up in the comments is actually affecting some of the UA-camrs who talk about autism. I like the way this woman addresses it: "ZIP IT!" I am self-diagnosed and could care less what anyone else thinks about it. Bullying trolls make their presence felt absolutely everywhere in social media. I think they should just be ignored. Nobody's going to change them.
Thanks for the follow up, Courtney! I’m on my own way out of autistic burnout, and my official evaluation results are being written up as we speak.
I can really relate to a lot of what you said. And finding an autism specific therapist has been GAME CHANGING. They are the one who ended up doing my evaluation, which they were able to pair down because we had already had a number of sessions together.
It’s been tough without family support and no friends where I live yet (burnout right after moving OOF), but I’m making progress! And that feels amazing
Glad you are back! No need to apologize. :)
Hi Courtney. Found you today, watched this video and cried with you.
My name is Patience, I’m 74 and I just started learning about Autism. What good can come from me getting a diagnosis-one way or another, besides the relief of knowing. That would be great in itself. You brought the process into more clarity and I still am struggling with who or what I am.
Right now I am pretty much isolated in my bedroom but am afraid to even try to make friends. I don’t know how to do it.
Thanks for your sharing something so intimate. I subscribed to your channel . Love your work.
There is actual, scientific research out there, proving that self diagnosis is valid. It can be Googled.
So everyone saying otherwise need to educate themselves or zip it.
GLOVES FOR FOLDING LAUNDRY?! Holy moly. Oh my god. I never thought of that. I want to cry. I'm trying this today. I use them for cooking, cat litter, dishes, cleaning and so many other hand-sensory hells but I never thought to try them for laundry.
I despise the weighted blanket lmao
It's inspring to see how you have handled things and thanks for your videos. I've had a much easier time of it perhaps because I never cared if I was different, or perhaps I was just so out of it I didn't know when people were making fun of me :) The day I got my official diagnosis my autistic daughter and autistic granddaughter brought me a set of stimming gadgets and a host of printed out autistic memes. It was a mini party. When I realized I was autistic just knowing that I was autistic allowed me to realize when I was frustrated, and I could fix that with a quick rest instead of spinning in dark thoughts for days. FWIW I was diagnosed over zoom in 2021, I don't know if they would require an in person visit now.
Hi 👋
I've only just discovered your channel. I'm currently in the process of trying to get an autism diagnosis at the age of 36 (I'm UK based).
I just wanted to say thank you so much for making this video. So much of it resonated with me, especially the part about accommodating yourself 🙏❤️
I look forward to seeing more of your videos 🌈 🦄 💛
Dude I love everything about this video. What resources indeed😅 I don't get how even other autistic people are gatekeeping now. Don't we know how fucking rough it is out there to find information and help? Personally I'm glad about everyone that is realizing more about themselves because then I can go mh, how are these things for me? Do we have similarities? Can I find another piece here that maybe explains something and helps me? I'm soooo grateful that more and more people are making content about how they perceive the world. Writing books about it, making videos like you. I couldn't give less of a shit if you have a piece of paper as 'proof' or not in all that. There are so many different flavors of us so it's soooo good that more people talk about it.
ADHD Interupted does online via video assessments in Canada, and I believe Embrace Autism has those services as well.
If I start commenting, it will turn into a 10,000 word essay and I do not have the mental energy to pursue that rn, as much as I'm also having to hold myself back from launching into that essay.
But.
YES!
YES YES YES YES, I WANT THIS CONTENT!
Really enjoying the autism videos that you've released, and I'm looking forward to more! As a late to the party~ on my own neurodivergence status, you capture so much of what I experienced leading up to it.
Happy stimming 😊
I found your channel today and it must have been something I needed. I related to so much of this and it’s nice to hear from other people their experiences. I’m only just over a year into knowing and it has been the longest year I’ve experienced yet. Thank you for sharing your experience
PERFECT timing. thank you. ive waited 3 years now my first appointment is a few weeks away. freaking out!
I was researching adult ADHD for myself when I found your video. It changed my life. I’m now in line for my assessment and I feel seen for the first time in my life. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much. I am in burnout. I am waiting for my assessment and my binder is 3-4 times thicker than that. I have been waiting for an assessment for 3 years and so I decided to self diagnose as well. I still have periods of imposter syndrome but I am 99% sure I am Autistic and I find videos like this so validating. I started my own channel recently. I am an artist and that’s how I process the memories..
Yes on the toothbrushing, too! It is such a sensory struggle some days and there is so much judgment/shame around not doing it twice a day (b/c it's so "easy" why wouldn't you?). Please make content about hygiene issues/work-arounds. Finding solutions is far better than just "shoulding" myself for the rest of my life. I'd appreciate it. Thx!
I set fire to the oil in my cast iron skillet once. I'd just moved into an apartment. It had a fire alarm which I didn't know how to turn off. When I found the fire, I covered the fire with a lid, turned off the stove, and moved the pan to another burner. When the alarm went off, I started going in circles. I kept turning the stove on and off. Then, circles again! I can't wear ear buds or head phones unless they're very low. My ears are hypersensitive. It feels like someone is injecting the music into my ears at full force. I'm presently undiagnosed. A diagnosis would make me feel better about my entire life. I tried so hard to function the same as everyone else. I've been bullied, rejected, talked down to, etc. I need the validation. I think it will be worth it!!! Thank you for your video!!❤
I had wondered what had happened to our mermaid girl! Very glad you're back and looking forward to more videos.
All of us on the spectrum are brave, , diagnosed or not. Still waiting for mine. I'm more ADHD and complex PTSD. I can relate to everything people have said about how they've been treated. I've been accused of "wanting to be different" for years. What a ridiculous thing to say! We are often lovely people that just want some kind of life. Strangely enough, the sound aspect doesn't have too much of an effect on me. However, my sense of smell is so acute, I can smell people some way away and bins. Aaaaagh! Much love 💕
I watched your autism assessment video recently and it’s really helped me with considering getting my own autism assessment. My art therapist is going to be giving me some recommendations of people she’s knows who could give me an autism assessment 😊🌈
Love this! I’m waiting for a diagnosis and accommodations are my focus. I’m learning what I like after decades of masking and making the space I control safe and comfortable for me as much as I can. Just starting this journey and very thankful for your videos ❤️
Hi Courtney! I recently found you via your autism assessment vid and have been binge watching your channel! I just wanted to say: you are amazing, I think you are so cool, and YOU ARE WORTHY and valuable and enough just by being yourself. I’m sorry to hear some of your loved ones reacted so negatively towards your vid re: your diagnosis but they’re wrong and rude and you don’t deserve that. I don’t have autism myself (as far as I know); however, I self-diagnosed (and later was diagnosed) with OCD at age 35 so I relate to things you experienced. I also have friends/family who were diagnosed with autism later in life who experienced stigma and negative feedback from loved ones. For example my sister came out as autistic on social media last year and our dad (who is undeniably narcissistic) was furious and couldn’t understand why she would air her private business to others, mostly because he sees us children as extensions of himself and thought an autism diagnosis reflected badly on him. But he’s an asshole and we weren’t placed on the planet to make our parent’s lives easier - we’re here to become independent and make the world beautiful. And Courtney you make the world more beautiful just being yourself! As painful as it is to be misunderstood and let down by loved ones, please don’t stop being true to yourself. Cling fiercely to the people and things in your life that YOU value. Be set free 💖💕
Right. We are having a hard time. Few days ago i went to a hospital and the lights OMG where so intense that my eyes hurt so i put on my sunglasses. Nobody said a word but you know the stares. Now that i know who i am and what i need i do what i need and want!!! Its ME time. Thank you for your video❤
I'm thoroughly enjoying your videos on autism, thank you for being so candid and passionate and raw!
Thank you for helping me understand. Knowledge is power, as they say, and I'm glad you've helped me with this...
if you are weighing the options of self identification vs medical diagnosis, I found sydney zarlengos video "rethinking my autism dx" very helpful. autistics thrive on knowing why. it's an awesome (au-some) trait.
Thank you for sharing your experience, I watched your diagnosis video and several after that. I am 53 and have an assessment scheduled for this next March - the earliest I could get where I live. I love your advice to begin accommodating myself right now and that makes so much sense that I wondered why I didn't think about it! :) I have taken your suggestion and am writing this in a two-sizes-too-big hoodie and oversized sweatpants with a fidget toy right next to me. Keep up the good work, I will be watching.
Self-diagnosed, and stopping there. Since I have reasonably good social skills, most people don't buy that I am autistic. I don't even bring it up anymore. But figuring it out for myself has been helpful because it EXPLAINS SO MUCH. I don't beat myself up as much over my problems, especially my sensory issues and my problems with executive function. My whole life makes more sense now.
You’re worth it. I wish you the best in all your endeavors. Having autism can be so exhausting so I hope you can give yourself some grace and peace. Just saw your videos about a week ago.
As someone as a level 2 autistic, there are resources such as housing, supervised living, disability benefits, and special type of work (which you don't get paid for, so u need benefits). Only if you've been formally diagnosed you will have access to this, so for people with quite some support needs it's usually very important to get formally diagnosed. (this is in the Netherlands btw, so not America) Thank you for sharing your story! ♥ PS: I love mermaids
It’s funny, I’m a little sound sensory seeking (sorry for the alliteration lol) and I wear jingly earrings just to hear them jingle. And then I also play with them all the time. But something about hearing them jingle when I move is really pleasant 🫠
As someone thats on the waitlist to get assessed, i am finding your videos really helpful. I love the idea of a binder🎉 can relate alot. Thank you for being you.
I love hearing your experience and a lot of what you say is so validating for me.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I've always felt like everybody else knew something that I didn't know; like I'm a fish out of water; like I was standing on the outside looking in. It wasn't until I started wondering if I was autistic that any of this made any sense at all. And it was quite literally today, right now, watching this video, typing out this comment, that I realized how many different ways I have learned to describe this feeling that I am not the same as the other people around me.
Fortunately, I have been doing things to accommodate myself for years, mostly because it was the only way I could function in the world. At the same time feeling like I was weird and somehow wrong for needing them. Knowing that there is an actual neurological reason that I do, is absolutely freeing and validating!
Videos like this help so much! Thank you!
I'm still saving up for my autism diagnosis, thank you for sharing your experience!!
Here in Australia, some psychologists offer autism assessments online. I have an assessment booked in September this year with a psychologist who is herself autistic and lives in another state. I have to fill out some questionnaires, then there is a 2 hour interview (she can do them face-to-face or via Zoom, since I live interstate I have chosen the zoom option). After the interview there more questionnaires to be completed online. Then I have to wait six weeks for the report. September 23rd can’t come soon enough for me.
I just received my professional diagnosis two weeks ago and yes, it was involved, intense and quite expensive. However, I can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt that it was absolutely worth it! I finally understand myself so much better now and my life makes so much more sense. And yes (for all the naysayers), I was also self-diagnosed for about 10 months before I ever got the professional diagnosis. It only confirmed what I already was quite sure of deep down. Your videos about this process have been so helpful along the way. Thank you!
My fav part of this video (i loved the whole thing) but fav was the taking all our resources little snort eugh 😂 that was champ and made me laugh out loud both times (loved the little helium voice version at the beginning) 😆
Okay first thing was being reminded of going to my in-laws and putting in my Loop earplugs and trying to read in another room. AND JUST BEING CONSTANTLY INTERRUPTED 😂 Like, I'm here, I did the social part, and now I'm trying to take a break!
The second part is the conversation with my therapist about going for an assessment: My doctor agreed to the referral but it's like 18-24 months so I've been stewing. Then my doctor called and wanted a parent/caregiver to verify my experience. I'm 40. Having my parents recount things from like 35+ years ago a) already gets my mom pouring in the mom guilt b) feels like invalidating my experience. So now I'm at "is a diagnosis actually going to matter?" (I am trying to accommodate myself anyway)
I have a different reason for loving my Waterpik. I struggle with flossing. It may be partly a dexterity thing, but it’s really hard to get my hands and fingers to move the right way to get the floss between my teeth. It would take 30 minutes or more, and be very painful. As a result, I almost never floss at home; the only times it happens is during a dental checkup. But the Waterpik is easy. I can do that daily in just a few minutes. The game changer for me was the head with a small circle of bristles (the water jet comes out the middle, between the bristles). It’s much easier for me to feel when the bristles are flat against my teeth and gums, so I know it’s pointed in the right direction.
Oh my goodness, when you got to the part where you were talking about teeth brushing I cried. I'm nearly 53 and am finally getting my assessment this July. Thank you so much for this video
As someone who just recently got diagnosed and was (in some ways unwittingly) already accommodating for themself, 100% vouch for accommodating before the evaluation and diagnosis process. Any provider worth their salt will take that into consideration while evaluating. Mine did-said in the recommendations section of the report that not only should I keep doing what I'm doing, but that that accommodation should be allowed in establishments such as work or school. So it can also make any accommodations part of the process much easier and faster!
I just came across your channel, so thankful for your videos :D
Thank you for your videos! You have been helpful and comforting and help me feel a little less crazy 🥰
Btw, I really appreciate you filtering out the curses haha ❤️
You're amazing and your feelings are very valid
I check the box for SPCD not ASD but I am a moderate needs autistic diagnosed with Asperger’s in 2006 at 22. Thanks for your courage. I’m having an OT assessment because I’ve had motor skill challenges all my life but had never been severe enough to require equipment
I’m just hoping if it is hypotonic CP, I will also receive it because it’s been an exhausting struggle to not be believed and know all the challenges that come.
Great video. Definitely want to put emphasis on the fact that self diagnosis is valid. I self diagnosed myself at 15 and 9 years later recently on my 24th birthday I received my official Autism diagnosis.
I pretty much shaved my head too! I love your new hairstyle it suits you and i love it on you 🎉
Self employed folks in the US. The accommodations tools we buy for ourselves are business expenses for tax purposes. FYI.
Courtney, I’ve been with your channel for years. It was how I discovered mermaiding and decided to try it. Several months before you posted the video about your autism diagnosis, I started wondering if I might be autistic and over the past year I’ve been compiling data points that suggest I am autistic. I was quite surprised about your autism diagnosis. You don’t seem any different from me, but that would make sense if we’re both autistic. I know I don’t personally know you, and you don’t know me, but I almost feel like we’ve been on this journey together. I don’t currently have any plans for an official assessment (for a number of reasons) but I’ve already discovered so much about myself and I’m 98% certain that I am autistic. I will still watch your channel no matter what you post, and your autism videos have been an unanticipated helpful thing
So excited you added new content!! I love your autism videos no matter the length!
I am 60 and getting my autism assessment in December it will be done via zoom. There are several on line assessments
Hey, thanks for this video, too!
I will have no choice but to go by self diagnosing. I had my physician put through a referral to the Adult Autistic Testing Clinic at the Glenrose Hospital in Edmonton. The Glenrose is the only place that gives free testing for adults in Alberta. I received a letter last week and the waiting list they stated is over (( 7 years )) !!! Even if I had the money there are no Psychiatrists taking patients in the province who do testing for $$. I think I will just take the tests you suggested on your other video and live with that.
Both grasp (us based) and embrace autism (canadian based) will assess canadians online for less that local bc places will /however/ if you need it for the government to prove some kind of disability or what not you will need a local person to confirm and at that point you may wind up having to foot the cost of another assessment fully depending on what the provence/territory/state requires....
15:15 I do that tight, hand-gripping-hand thing, too, often with fingers interlocked at odd placements, or so tight it hurts.
I believe the AQ questionnaire is scientifically validated (and it is available online), so that's a good place to start. You're correct, however, that (at least in the U.S.), a person doesn't legally have ASD (ie meet the ADA criteria ) unless a clinician has assessed them and diagnosed them.
If it’s any reassurance I thought your video was good. It was raw and real. You shouldn’t have to pretend for the crowd (but we both know the type of world we live in…)
In terms of resources in Canada, there is (Federally) the disability tax credit, registered disability savings plan and provincial help will differ province to province. I am currently getting assistance from both governmental sectors. And occupational therapy.
Really nice video, your very relateable.
I have my assessment on Monday and am freaking out, but I made a book with all my autistic related notes in simmilar to your binder.
I hope the people who ask "why did you feel the need to do this to yourself" don't have tattoos or piercings
Yours is my favorite female autistic channel.
I love your rants. They are hilarious and cathartic. Can I give you a list of the stupid, exasperating things that I encounter so you can rant about them for me too? That would make me feel better. Thanks.😊
I would love a video about the aftermath of the diagnosis, I'm in the middle of it and it feels scary and lonely even if I don't regret it.
It's really too bad you had to spell a lot of this out, but you're a great sport for doing so! I hope people know how valuable your transparency is.
Now for my Autism Advocate coming out for a moment: Self-diagnosis is considered valid for practitioners who are either Neurodiverse themselves or who are Neurodiversity-positive and have an updated understanding of the entire spectrum. Unfortunately, laypeople seem to forget it's called a spectrum for a reason and seem to love to give themselves the authority to say what is valid and what is not.
I was able to get a zoom appointment via Wilderwood just fyi - Mom on the Spectrum referred me - it was hard to find someone who assesses here in Maine. Wilderwood ONLY assesses girls and women.
Saw the binder chapter and thought it was going to be a different kind of binder. My queer neurospicyass always forgetting a video topic by the second chapter... I watched like 9 videos before coming to this most recent one to ask you a very important question which is where did you buy your signature tiedye hoodie BUT YOU'RE NOT WEARING IT. If you saved the tag after cutting it off I'd love it to be an easter egg in the background of the next video! 😂
Absolutely brilliant video, thankyou.
There are TeleHealth options. Some clinics will do TH assessments, but as far as I know it's for adults.
To whomever asked the questions that got us 20:47: I think a "legit option" for getting a _formal diagnosis_ (which I presume is what's meant here?) is necessarily going to involve seeing a professional. That said, I'm currently going through an assessment that's being done remotely via telehealth type sessions, so... if that counts as "online", then yes, it's possible. But not, like, a self-administered test or whatever -- that might help you decide whether to self-diagnose, but it won't give you an official diagnosis.
Could you talk about more your skills regression and recovery? I have only experienced that intensely when I have had episodes of major depression and crippling insomnia in the past, but they were after major life events or serious illness. That being said, I would like to do whatever I can to pre-emptively mitigate one caused from traumatic blowback after interpersonal dynamics go south or something slightly less cataclysmic happens.
To look at the camera when I film, I draw a colorful and eye drawing spiral, put a hole in the center, and put it over my camera. 😂
Thank you 💚 Courtney, you are delightful.
Also I am self diagnosed and have started the hardest part of the journey for me the unmasking. I am still on the journey of finding ways to accommodate for my needs and my childrens. Tomorrow is my birthday and a party is the farthest from what I want and the people who I have distanced lately because of their denial of autism besides a level 3 are calling asking what I'm doing for my birthday. When I responded with NO party they ask why I was depressed 🙄 just listen please.
Thx for your content. Very helpful. I just tell people I found out I’m autistic and share how that understanding is helping me understand how to work with/around/optimize the way my brain processes sensation and information. I have validated my own assessment thoroughly w family members who are diagnosed themselves or have diagnosed children/grandchildren, and my long time clinical psychologist, primary care and neurology team are all on board that this is reasonable to proceed in the direction of accommodations.
There is some legislation being cooked up by the right wing to consider people who are diagnosed autistic as unfit to make their own medical decisions re gender affirming care, advanced directive, sterilization etc.
I am reconsidering the value of putting myself thru it which I have plenty of time to do as the wait will be about a year or more.
Also I underwent a hostile neuropsych testing process years ago to get a baseline on brain function because I had debilitating insomnia. I was in a melt down and a threat response the entire appt and it was simply horrible - I believe it exacerbated the burnout I was in and the dr wanted to play try this try that w psych meds and various diagnostics based on observing me in a meltdown trying to cope for 4 hours, pathologizing as mental illness my neurological and processing differences/challenges- I had already tried those meds and they all made me much worse.
So I am still going to make a binder.
But where I come out is here: mds, particularly neuropsyches, are deeply fallible. Medical interventions are codified by patents and profit motive. Dsm is deeply flawed. Anything that can be determined w actual testing (mri blood cat scan ekg etc) and medical training informed results interpretation and rx for mitigation of condition and or symptoms is useful.
An interpretive assessment is subject to my own scrutiny and distrust of psychologized and condescending interpretations of a so called expert - honestly I trust my own assessment equally to theirs on anything not subject to an objective measure.
I know what I know. At this stage (65) im not making (except where appropriate) a point of it in any direction. Just happy to understand my system better and be able to advocate for myself or lend context to why my needs and responses are so different from others yet still utterly valid.
Anyone who exhibits a stake in or wants to question or argue w me re whether I am “actually autistic” or not is already inappropriately seeing themselves as the arbiter of my experience and my own well- grounded assessment of the situation, which I do not grant them the authority to do.
I get it why an official diagnosis would be validating and I don’t think it’s useless but I’m getting into the mind set of - if you think I’m not- feel free to prove that to me.
Like in the groc store. I get so badly dyspraxic when people stand too close to me that I can’t pack my own bags or work the card reader.
I asked someone who was offended that I asked them to step back if it hurts them to stand back because it was causing me dysfunction and distress for them not to.
Now I just warn people I’m slow and can be less slow if they can stand back a bit - that it would help me a lot and most people are congenial about it. I told my regular checkers I’m autistic and they get it.
Same logic- you want to insult me by making up that your idea of autism and your observation of me under virtuoso masking could be more valid than my family history, my childhood experiences, my therapist of over 15 years, my GP, my autistic relatives, every online official disgnostic test available Occam’s razor of what condition my experiences and symptoms fit to a T etc - that it is silly and pretentious for anyone but me to argue the point for any reason.
Loving myself and being clear who I am doesn’t always come easily - and- standing for the validity of what I do, actually, know to be a rational and appropriate assessment on the topic, is something that is letting the neuropsych diagnosis wait or other people’s interpretations to NOT be not the center of my situation and adaptations and self care thereof.
For example finding an autistic mac support person who can relate to me and speak my language to help me deal w some computer set up and use issues.
I’m so grateful for all the brave and skillful content creators and the chance to express myself where I can be heard and understood it’s a lifeline in a somewhat challenging process. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏
youre back love to see you again just post more videos & shorts of mermaid we want to see
I'm new to the whole Autism thing. Yet to be tested by a doctor or done a self test. I plan on leaving it to the doctor. I've watched a number of UA-camrs about what Autism is and somethings I think yes that's me and somethings that aren't me. Then there's somethings I think aren't me like sensory issues and then later I realise that they are an issue just something I've overlooked. Like I need sunglasses outside and I don't care if it's overcast I'm wearing my sunglasses. Also I'm very sensitive to hot and cold foods. I'm certain I'm autistic but decided I'm not telling my family until I'm diagnosed.
I really felt for years that there's been something wrong with me with no answer and part of the issue is because of my communication problems I was unable to tell people what was wrong. I know I have a learning disability and I have a limit on what I'm capable of understanding. It wasn't until I seen a psychiatrist that she noticed it. What I find really annoying is there's people online I've told that I think I'm autistic and they said "oh I thought you already knew" like they already suspected it and said nothing.
You are amazing! Thank you so much for these videos. I wanna be you when I grow up (I'm also 34 😅)
For us late diagnosed folks: Almost everybody who's gotten a diagnosis by anybody but themselves - started out self-diagnosing. It's just how things naturally progress imho. I mean... Not really up for discussion. Right? Right? If YOU didn't think there was something going on then why even start the whole process? It's not fun. It's really taxing in many ways. So - yeah. Absolutely not discussing whether or not self-diagnosis is valid. Because duh! Of course it is.
You know my husband went to his doctor because he had been struggling with what he thought was ADHD. His doctor asked him some questions and BOOM! he diagnosed him with ADHD. I'm sitting here like damn, I wish it was like that easy for me. I have to pay 1K out of pocket maybe to get this diagnoses because f'n insurance won't pay for it. The only reason why I'm doing it is for me because everyone in my family is like "yeah, you maybe weird but you aren't autistic."
I'm getting my assessment at the end of this month. But I also have adhd and don't know how to start my binder! Can't focus on how to start on it.....😅
Would you be willing to make a video on meltdowns specifically what is a meltdown for you?
I have my own assessment on Tuesday so this video was very well timed for me to take notes and help the anxiety!
thank you!
When I told my mom I was autistic, she didnt talk to me for a couple of months
I brought not a binder, but a few print outs and written notes to my sons assessment and the assessee acted angry. He ask if I just wanted my son to have autism he was 10 @ the time so NO it has taken me years to come to this conclusion. He dismissed every single point I had. My son is very anxious high masking in public so if course you did not see what I see in two hrs.
I have watched all of your autism videos and commented on a couple of them. I am 57 offically diagnosed in September 2023 ($4,000 cdn) and I have not been able to find a post assessment counsellor. I had a regular one for when I completely lost my mind last January (burnout) and that was $4,800 for the year. So YES, very expensive (agree with "what resources"?) and now I can't find a therapist to help me navigate my post diagnosis. Fortunately like many of us, I can research the crap out of anything that interests me so I have helped myself with accommodations, etc. but my personal relationships are in shambles. Who did you use, would you be willing to share that information?
🏆 Great Video ❤️