That gleam is a chilling thing to witness. Every time I witnessed it her eyes looked all black. Like her eyes were dilated to an extreme as if she were under the influence of drugs. I think she was just getting a big sadistic endorphin rush from seeing my misery. I thought it was just me seeing things. There are presumably plenty of victims of this kind of abuse in this forum. As an unofficial poll to see how common a thing it is...if you have witnessed the gleam give a thumbs up. If you have not give a thumbs down.
brilliant conclusion... my ex-malignant girlfriend smile pathetically the last time when she made me leave her house because she wanted to cheat on me with another man.. Luckily found out the truth
@@gamal9435 so your not reporting any gleam in the eyes? Any noticeable eye changes. Testosterone levels? My wife would seem to seeth with testosterone when she was up to some bullshit.
@@jimig399 what I saw in her eyes were, scorn, contempt, revenge. It turns out that my exgirlfriend, in her first marriage, was beaten and mistreated by some Greek man. She has been mentally poisoned by that over the years and is what she is now , a monster of revenge and merciless animal. She manipulate and lies to the point that she makes me laugh. I'm very pleased that I m escaping from that delusional person. The funny thing is that she is 68 and I am 52. So what the heck.
@@gamal9435 thats all terrible stuff. It's also a pretty straightforward no the paranormal eye activity. Appreciate your input and sharing your experience. Get well.
What I’m experiencing after I left (no contact) my Narc sister is that other people who haven’t had experience with a narcissist thinks I am a really bad person to have left my sister. They don’t know what we’ve gone through.
I usually identify them by there twinkle in eye when you tell them something that upset you or some bad luck story about yourself. It a twinkle in there eye like a smirk.
i've been with someone like that. she wasnt touching all points, but i feel the damage is beyond repair for some parts. Now i know what real evil is. If you are with someone who display even 2 of these point in the list stop all contat, no explanation, run for your life and never ever look back. Lots of love to all you who experienced this. You are not alone.
I hate myself for staying in that way too long. I don't want to look at myself as damaged. I think that it has changed me. I'm a different person now, smarter I hope.
@@brianreed8271 Elon't beat yourself up! Me and many others did it too. We will AND ARE surviving this one even though me and you don't know each other I don't even need each other to beat these weirdos in a game that we never chose to start in the first place
You cant be a nice person and a narcissist at the same time. I almost lost myself to one of them. These people are born evil. Their brain is wired completely differant than a normal person. I dont cut them slack anymore. I feel absolutly no empathy for them.
Yep. I've dealt with nasty idiots before. But open bullying is almost preferable to the sick deep manipulation narcs use to hurt people. They're absolutely fucked up people.
My eldest daughter is bipolar & a narcissist. She will have the whole family arguing every time she comes around. And is gleeful when it happens. She has assaulted me, her aunt, & both her husbands. She wished her sister & my grandson dead. The whole family has cut her off.
I have been the sole target of malignant narcissist constant gaslighting in a female friend group. Subtle covert minimization and devaluation occurred frequently and it was most commonly facilitated by her innocently excluding me. My feelings about this over a long period of time changed, self blame, to denial (she's super competitive) then back to self blame, which eventually morphed into the stunning realization was someone who wanted to crush me and enjoyed seeing me being stuck and struggling. I politely ducked out of all social interactions with reasonable excuses, but there was one avenue she had never tried, gaslighting by proxy....through our husbands. My husband spotted it a mile away. . Leaving everyone behind was the only way out. We both struggle with the loss of so many good friends. I tried to rationalize the behavior for so long, but the biggest red flag was my gut feeling something was seriously wrong. It is not normal to be anxious around a friend.
I agree with everything you said here EXCEPT some very high functioning malignant narcissists CAN maintain long-term (decades even) marriages. It is all an illusion of normalcy of course, as they are entertaining other relationships and prostitues, etc. at the same time. But some of these individuals stay married for decades while leading double, triple and multiple lives. Some never get caught. I have seen it myself.
They are 100 % possessed by a multitude of demonic forces. Demons feed off of malice, rage, arrogance, conceit, etc. They attach to people who are evil.
Narcissism is mostly biology. Demons would have little need to control a narcissist, since by definition a narcissist would already be considered to be a person with what some describe as demonic traits.
@@danielepp3113 I wouldn't say the names and I don't think they're bad ... they aren't as effective to explain different type of narcissist and how their mental frame works!
@@sailing7777 you literally just have to go through the grieving process. Something you loved has died so look up the grieving process and maybe get some grief counselling. And do not try to dig up the grave, it won't be nice
I had many narcissists in my life but never knew untill I dated a malignant narcissist woman. She really took the gaslighting to a whole new level and she touched the other nine points too. She is the one that made me know about npd because I really suffered in her hands. I had to start researching more on narcism and I am glad that I now discovered even the hidden ones that has been subtly tormenting me in my family, at work, in church. Now I have a strong npd antenna that I pay attention to everyone around me. I have removed many of them from my life and I am still doing that daily.
Good on you! It`s unfortunate that this level of maturity is many times frowned upon, but to anyone who has been through narcissitic abuse it is vital to do what you do. I hope your life is better now!
That was my group therapist - he said he knew something I had to fight out, understood emotions and could almost read people’s minds and would gaslight people who didn’t like him. He said he really enjoyed his job and said he was sadistic but was only using it as a diagnostic tool and really enjoyed his job. I spent five years with this guy and it made me act the same way causing pain to my family. It even affected the children in my family. Eventually due to his behaviors manifesting in me I got fired from my job.
Lise thanks a million times. I’ve been watching your series on different types of narcissists. And I gotta say this by far is the closest explanation to my ex. I thought she was a covert but this is tha jackpot. Literally every flag and my gut wouldn’t just sit right. Never. I broke things off and went no contact. It has definitely taken a toll on my energy and emotions but I’m finally getting past the resentment. Lise keep doing what you’re doing I recommend people to your work when they’re ready, because no everyone can understand this.
I was chosen as an attack target pretty much exactly one year ago from a malignant narcissist. Their target was my wife who they wanted to f***. They were people I was conditioned to think were good friends. We went on vacation with them and on our trip (the first night) the narc basically wanted carte' blanche approval to f*** my wife along with his. I said I wasn't on board with that and the degradation and discard started immediately. This guy attacked my parenting ability, my social ability, and my integrity to the point that I actually had a breakdown. This was day one of a two week vacation. He spent the next two weeks attempting to isolate, degrade and discard me in the hope that he would get what he wanted, which was the chance to f*** my wife. The sad thing for me is that my wife is a covert narc and has blamed me for the confrontation and that I "ruined the trip". She didn't defend me in any way, but rather agreed with the malignant narc that I was to blame for getting upset and "ruining the vacation". Over the next months she betrayed me many times by spending much time with this couple as I was home feeling extremely anxious as I felt she was betraying me to spend time with them. She never once held them accountable for their attack on me and didn't care about my anxiety over the matter. I am currently working on our separation in an attempt not to burn to the ground all the things we have worked so hard to build over our 30 years together, but rest assured, I am f***ing out and will be living for myself for the first time in my 52 years of life in the spring when we can effectively sell our house and separate. I didn't realize the covert narcissistic abuse I was suffering (I was blaming myself as a result of the gaslighting) for the entire 30 years of our relationship until I got therapy that she told me I needed as a result of my blowing up at the narc who was attacking me on vacation. My therapist worked with me to help me see and understand what was really going on. It was so clear to her and I appreciate her honesty on the matter so much. Videos like reinforce so much for me that I'm doing the right thing for myself (for the first time in my life... I won't go into my childhood which plays a major role in this as well) and I'm excited at the prospect of simply not living on pins and needles the rest of my life.
Wow what a sad situation....your wife wanted to go along and didn't see how wrong this was? I kind of relate.....you wanted your wife to show loyalty to you and stand by you...but instead started to blame you. Hope life gets better for you....for her it blows up in her face
Videos like this helped me escape my narc spouse as well. I'm sorry you had to go through this. What helped me was hearing that I stayed not because I was weak, stupid or insecure. But because I was trusting, loyal and loving. I stayed because I truly cared. I stayed because of my strengths not because of my weaknesses. I just wanted to also reinforce your decision to leave by saying there are people out here that understand. Narcs will tempt you day in and day out to "roll in their mud" with them. And for the most part, you can deny to but at boiling points, you will get angry and they will gleefully use that against you as their "proof" that you were the problem all along. Forgetting that you're hurting and in pain. For me? I almost became like him. :( And I can see him in my actions sometimes and am currently trying to actively decide who I want to be. It's a lot of introspection but ya know what else? For myself, my spirituality and prayers are the only thing that kept me sane. (I'll keep what I believe to myself for respect). But the idea that a benevolent being who truly understands what I went through helped me so much. And even more so, had my back. This benevolent deity I pray to recently told me to "learn how to enjoy life again." like how I was as a blameless child. To learn to just love and enjoy life again. I sat there and realized that I hadn't just sat and enjoyed life for a very long time. I was always on the search to improve myself to impress my spouse. I forgot to just sit and enjoy life. For me I feel so free. I can joke with whomever I want. I can give compliments freely. I can laugh. I'm learning how to just enjoy life. I hope you learn that it's okay to love and enjoy life too.
Thank you for this video it is spot on. I married one and it destroyed my life. Noone would believe what these people are capable of. If you have met one or are in a relationship with one, just run as fast as you can!!
This is spot on, I relive the memories by these experiences, not, to victimize myself, but to educate myself, I never understood this before, but it all clicks. I respect and understand that I do not, need the approval, of anyone especially any type, of narcissist.
This video 100% describes my third husband, to whom I was married for 8 years. I did not know what to call it, but eventually, I realized it was never going to change, and so I walked. Got into counseling, and only then realized what this actually was. I feel like I escaped with not only my sanity but my actual life, as he was a dangerous person.
They are very sly with those who are their main supply but others who have frequent contact with them such as friends or family will and do notice. When those others mention their observations to you, listen to them. They will make sure you are named in anything illicit they have going on including things you may not know about. You will eventually be held accountable when whatever they did is uncovered. They will attempt to keep assets that are equally yours due to marriage in their name or possession only. One of their core beliefs is “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine. They will marry quickly because they need narcissistic supply and will use love bombing to hook you- you will not know this is happening because they can be charming and generous but it is all a game to them. They actually feel empowered if they can pick up a new supply quickly, so beware of the “charmer” who comes out of nowhere and is suddenly your next “ love”! They do not know how to love, but are experts at making it look like they do. If you have been or are being sought in this way -BEWARE! They are also pathological liars so don’t take anything they say seriously and check out things they say - ask for “hard evidence” or validation.
You know you’re the most accurate talking about narcissistic women? And relating to other problems. Malignant can also have long term relations, broken in short cycles, I think. Best regards
I was in a relationship with this very person for several years..I felt compelled to help and be compassionate for her. It first started with me constantly bailing her out when she'd loose jobs, for stealing, hitting or being intoxicated. I was naive and ended getting her pregnant. I tried to reclaim a "normal" life with her, but she would become enraged and violent..often setting me up. It was a complete mind bender and I was being gaslit. I also found recently I was trauma bonded and after attempting to create distance I continued to watch her get in trouble, loose jobs, and put my son in harms way. I eventually took sympathy on her and tried to let her back in as she played a well design fraudulent campaign to win me back over..this unfortunately led to another child..I ha e since left her, but due to ridiculous family laws and my lack of financial blessing to hire a lawyer..she is actually the custodial parent and continues to manipulate me and the boys. It has been a living hell. I have recently tried to raise money to hire legal aid, but still have had no luck. If anyone has advice..I am all ears..mahalo..Andy
I think some people are more of a cluster B cocktail, making it hard to figure out which category they'd fall into exactly, because it can also be so much more subtle than what you see described. Some won't call you names or treat you badly in any very obvious way. It's more about the avoidant, silent treatment/subtle threats made in ways they know you can't point to and say OMG you're being creepy. I may have just dealt with something like that for a year.
My God she's telling my story,as a matter of fact yesterday I kid u not my EX tells me after talking to me maybe 15 min in a week that she's done with me that she's moving on, what's even more crazy is last weekend we went and spent the hole day playing at the casino then we got a room then drove back "home" just so she could tell me in the most malicious way it's over she's moving on. After 10 years I guess I just got use to it,I normalized it, justifying it by being convinced that it was me. FML I'M FREE!!!
This fits perfect with my wife. Absolutely perfect except 1 thing. We have been married for 21 years and also I was not well adjusted when I met her because we were poor and lived in the south side of Chicago. The thing is I pulled my self out. We moved to Indiana I got a degree and changed dramatically. We have 10 children 25 to 1yr old. I think my resilience and willingness to accept behaviors ordinary people would not due to a violent and abusive upbringing along with the fact that we had so many children were key to the fact that we have been married for 21 years. There were three major discards of me that occurred and in the last one she utterly ruined my life. I have had my eyes opened since then and watched these behaviors play out. I moved accross the street to be close to the kids but for my own safety. In her delusion she is a grand model or actor. She needs to be worshiped. When I came back in 2020 there hundreds of licentious pics and videos and dozens of guys on her varies social media platforms on top of the physical abuse and the systematic vicious destruction of my life. Then, a new baby. There is so much more.
Crazy how quite a bit of this overlaps with the managerial playbook at some work places. Especially those that try to ersatz-engineer the tech startup "free spirit" Steve Jobs vibe.
Hello Lise, You summed it all up. I wish you knew how grateful I am to you and others who educate people like me on these issues. Merry Christmas to you Lise. I know it’s early but I feel good sharing that joy with you. Stay healthy and safe inside your body 😉🤙🏼
Thank you Lise I’m not doing very well with my wife that has been diagnosed with bpd and I think npd now because this sounds exactly like my life of 11 years.My physical body is starting to hurt from the pain and as a man it’s hard to talk about it thank u for this
My wife has been diagnosed with bpd also. This presentation is the most accurate representation of my wife's illness that I have found. It is very precise in describing her behaviors. If your beginning to feel rundown by it friend I recommend that you proactively do something to save your life. I had a health scare a few years ago from the extreme and constant stress my wife provides. I had a DVT blood clot in my leg and discovered an auto immune disease I didn't know I had. And I am a very fit man. At 53 I have the body of a professional athlete. But fitness alone won't save you. My diet was poor due to lack of appetite caused by depression. That's all it takes for the wheels to come off your health. Even if you believe yourself to be in very good shape. Stress and depression are KILLERS. I know it's not always possible to avoid the stress or to leave the person that is responsible for causing it. People will tell you to go no contact and that is the end of their advice and I find that to be ignorant and unhelpful. I imagine you can probably relate to that. If you can't escape your problem you can still do something to keep it from costing you your life. Make sure you eat well and don't develop any vitamin and mineral deficiencies. Get your annual check-ups. Get treatment for depression. Stay active and physically fit. And the hardest thing for me ...make sure you get restful sleep. I only sleep about 3 hours at a time now. When it first began my body began fighting back against it and made me sick. I think my body's settled down and become accustomed to it now because i still can't get a full night's sleep but I am no longer sick because of it. I'm sure it will catch up to me sooner that later tho. Hope you survive man. Take care.
@@petekdemircioglu You sound like your parroting what you heard some therapist say on the subject. It's not always possible to escape your situation or to just leave and move far away as you recommend as your solution. There are literally so many reasons why a person could be stuck with another person that I'm not even going to bother to give one example because with the slightest amount of critical thinking you should be able to think of a few on your own. Especially if there are kids or extended family involved. Not everyone is equipped or prepared to go live life as a hobo to escape a narcissistic personality. If you want to help I suggest you at least think about the advice your offering before you offer it. Furthermore not everyone is capable of just running away from their problems. Some people see running from a problem as a way to exacerbate that problem and rightly so. Some people are wired differently and have an internal need to fix a problem...not run away from it. And a person should not have to run away or out of their own life to escape a difficult situation or even abuse. In my opinion it's the abuser who should be faced with that choice not the victim. Running away and hiding is not for me and I can't imagine I'm the only one who feels this way. I should not need to change my life and location to escape abuse. No one should. Running away is making this problem worse. These people are bullies. You only empower a bully by running away. You give them power over you and you damage yourself internally. These people need to be punched in the guts and knocked off their high horse and exposed for the cowards they truly are. That's the only way to win against them. They are all cowards, liars and bullies at their core and I learned a very long time ago that the way you deal with a bully is to face them head on and punch them in the gut the first chance you get. They all cry for their mamas after that. Every single one. You run far away. I've created the life I want for myself and it's taken me many decades to do so. Men don't run.
@@jimig399 totally agree with you I’m the same way it’s extremely hard when she’s in control of my business and my livelihood plus dog’s family etc it’s hard to walk away but even harder to be the guy that everyone else looks upon as the guy that’s a total ass hole for sticking up for what’s right
@@kkamp0528 thanks friend. I knew I could not be the only one to see this problem the way I do. And I feel ya about being hated for being the guy who sticks it out. It's just who I am. I couldn't do it any other way. No one has been able to appreciate that. Your literally the first to understand my perspective of what I've been suffering. And my ordeal began over 8 years ago. Your the first to relate in 8 years. I really appreciate the positive reinforcement. Sincerely, it means a lot. I have been misjudged and judged harshly for things that I see as positive character traits and it's been hurtful for people to see it as something that it is not. So much so that I began doubting myself for a time. And that is not a good place to be let me tell you. Not for a guy like me who deals in certainty. I so appreciate your comment and wish you well on your journey. Best regards, JimiG 🙋
Emotionally mature adults naturally avoid emotional manipulation. It's about awareness and realizing we all have an inner emotional child. To stop the little child from jumping into anyone's arms who gives the promise of emotional attention. To take loving parent responsibility with this part of yourself. It is not the adult worlds responsibility to do this for you once you grow up into an adult. Many families keep boys emotional stunted and subject to female demands.
My two brothers; they are callous and vindictive. They have no conscience in doing anything to get what they want be it material gain or their perceived power over others.
I’ve been watching so many videos and reading about all of this in the last couple of weeks It’s all exactly how I feel and the situation I’m in with my long-term partner I feel so stuck and lost
I could never understand this grandiose behaviour but now it makes sense. I will definitely have to consult with you for advice on risk managing my social and business life.
Lise, this has been my story. Lost everything I worked for my entire adult life., falsely accused and sentbto prison for 3.5 years by my ex wife.......
Lise. You are extremely articulate and deliver with such clarity the behaviors I have been systematically intentionally tortured and abused with by my genius sick woman. Glad I walked away!
Thanks for providing these videos, Lise. Your plain explanations have helped me better understand how to apply what Prof Sam Vaknin teaches. Between the two of you I've really come to understand what's going on and this has given me peace of mind to pick myself up from a ten year marriage to a woman who is Cluster B material. I think. I'm not equipped to diagnose her nor do I want to. She likely never will herself either because there's nothing wrong with her in her mind. I've always been the problem in her mind. And until she came into my life I knew nothing about any of this. If there were something I could do to help her, I would. The chances of this I think approach zero however. If nothing else, she's taught me to better understand people. // alex
About 5 years ago I asked my wife - now ex - to go to marriage counseling. Her response was, "We don't need marriage counseling!! There is nothing wrong with our marriage!!!!" Wow. I knew then and there that something was very wrong. She didn't even care to ask me why I brought it up. It took a few years, and I suffered greatly during this time, for me to get my finances in order. She drained my assets. I filed for divorce and had her served 'the papers' Dec. 27, 2021. When she read the complaint she said to me, "I was thinking about doing this too." I beat her to the punch. Hahaha. But, since she wanted to take credit for initiating the divorce process, it made it easier. I cut my losses and ran. I gave up everything, including a house I owned for 30 years, and left the day after she signed the divorce agreement. I am starting over completely. I'm retired and considering a 30 year mortgage on a fixed income. She really did a number on me.
take care of yourself love honor and protect your inner child and true self andget out.. dont suffer anymore for tatoxic person that needs someone to put down... keep selfcompassion boundaries integrity to your inner child and get out. A lot of safe enough people out there to connect in helathy ways. Its a healing and learning process but i wish you well and i hope you can get out and keepiloving yourself :)
Best explanation I've ever heard. It is true. The only positive I've learned - they are predictable once you recognize just how vulnerable they are... yet exceptionally prepared for anything you say or do to refute.. thats just another weapon they have to turn their minion inside out. I would like to think i would never try to have a real conversation, intimate discussion, once I recognize them... it will all be fuel to push even deeper into your vulnerabilities-most of which they installed... no logic to crazy- but there is a predictability that reveals the what's next. That's where you can regain a sense of self. I think. Because you can recognise what's coming next and estimate the timeframe. Maybe not the precise event- but the ingredients are the same. Ie- same sh** different day. I find it pretty easy to recognize them - even from a distance. I'm immune to their excessive charm and attention to how you react....
Just watching this video felt like emotional terrorism. I grew up in a home with a narcisistic parent, and i lived 2 years with them alone. I left that home drinking everyday after 12 pm and drinking to numb my pain mainly. It took me a while to find a support group that talks about child hood trauma, and tofind a safe enough fellow to sit with me and ecourage me to be more selfcompassionate on myself and modeled healthy boundaries for me , i also had don some therapy, the loving parent started awakening in me, i ws more gentle on myself and i started setting healthy boundaries around treatment i wouldn't tolerate , i had long been gone out of the home with the narcisist, but i needed to really up my assertivity levels and start setting healthy boundaries , to have integrity to me and my inner child. WHen i started having more selfcompassion on my self and setting healthy boundaries my inner child reemerged because now I had the commitment to keep him safe, to love honor and protect him. To say no to unfair treatment, hold sthose boundaries and follow trhough with them if they werent respected. My inner child felt more backed i learnt a lot about boundaries my first year of healing from trauma, and its still a big part of my recovery. I continue to practice selfcompassion gentleness humor love and respect, and integrity to my ner child my truest slef when he sends me a message that something is off i try to be his voice and speak up, and say it ,and be my authentic self, stay true to him. Manipulative people always run away from people with selfcompasssion self lvoe boundaries communication and integrity to my inner child, they're not interested in a person that loves themselves first in a healthy way.. And im not interetsted in a person who when i need to set a boundary talk communicate or express something they will try something toxic like blameshifting. There for selfcompassion and healthy boundaries integrity to my inner child and staying in my truth and having my own back in a healthy way shows me who the safe enough people are for my journey, of life and healing. There are a lof of safe enough empaths out there that i choose to connect with , in meaningful ways that can get my needs met in a reciprocal way, and we can communicate or have mutual support and connection in a way that meets needof togetherness connection, feeling seen heard and being part of. Selfcompassion healthy boundaries and integrity to my inner child show me who the safe enough people are .And those people that stay around for my authetnic and trueself with seselfcompassion and healthy boundaries and integrity to my inner child are my people ...... God speed were healing were worth it and keep saying no and boundaries with the toxic narcs and staying. inour truth and disengaging, there are a lot of safe enough others who want to stick around for our healthy authentic selfloving and selfrespecting true self , those are my people. !!!
Just wanted to say "Thank you" for sharing your knowledge. This is the last day I cling to your words of wisdom in order to understand that sick person I was with. Her motives and behaviors were made clear by your videos. I feel foolish for falling for it but forgive myself. I see a professional tomorrow to finally close out this brain virus experience. Lastly, I'm learning to reduce my narcissist behaviors and show more compassion, patience and understanding to others. That's real winning. Being kind is true happiness. Thinking of others is true happiness. The rest is gnashing of teeth hell on Earth. Due to my Aspergers, it's not easy, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE a challenge. Now this video.....lol....spot on. How could I be so stupid lol Just glad I did the hard thing by breaking it off. Almost placed her first before my needs. CN damn near worked but it was clear there was a CN brick wall. Near the end, it was hard to deny her true self. There are some things I will never understand, like why she broke out in hives as I closed in on her and she knew the end was near. Why would she care? Well, hives were not for me. They were for her CN friend that I already tossed to the curb. I indicated she could have him or she would have me. She was about to tell him "something" that would not have been the real truth. But it made her nervous to confront that guy about how he (both of them) was ruining the relationship
Also, I forgot: Can you make a video on the specifics of Machiavellian mentality? And respectively the pathological vs non-pathological employment of those strategies with malignant or non-malignant intent. Reasoning behind it and manifestations, etc… Thank you 🙏
Lise,another masterpiece....I long ago knew I was married to a malignant narcissist...this is another validation of my conclusion....99 percent on it all but #9. It was a 30 year poisoning...why? I hear you ask .....well first of all both my parents were Narcissists...lol I went to a Navy boot camp in high school for a week and observed the phycological tactics being administered to our group...99 percent broke and took to form...it was freaky..meaning I have a high breaking point... secondly this is a normal horrible life style I grew up on.thirdly the marriage was financially very successful as I fueled her to the top of the food chain...we ate with the governor,we were invited to presidential dinners in Washington...$250 a plate...She never broke me...but the damage was immense.....this empaths love of my life was a malignant Narcissist....and honestly if I knew I was with a first cousin to a psychopath,or even knew what a narc really was ....I would have turned and run ...
One thing they do is sneaky calculating actions.YOu won'tsee them calculating, but later on you can see exactly how they arrived at the mess you find yourself in.
In my reality I am not the king or the queen but rather some guy who records everything. I keep trying to disprove my personal opinions with examples and evidence once an opinion has been found which can be disproved. Once the discovery has been made, its time to show what was wrong. Narcs, sociopaths and dark empaths find it very difficult to survive in such a fantasy. Thanks for your video. Kind regards from Ásgeir in Iceland.
@liseleblanc this is so great. At 12 minutes you look so emotional like it is personal. Anyway so clarifying. I grew up with a father with several of these traits. We grow up, but sometimes the past comes back in a flash. Love the videos, but better without the water ripple transitions. Best just a normal cut, or maybe a short fade to black occasionally.
My malignant narc was trying hard to paint a perfect picture for other people, we were together for 13 years, he was faithful and was looking at me with respect, until I showed any signs of weakness ( sickness included) then he would become cruel. He was not manipulating me, but he was manipulating everyone else, including his own mother. I was "part of him" so he did not tried to destroy me, but he was trying to take me to his sick eality On one point I realised that I don't want children with him and decided to leave. That was like I pinch a needle to his satanic and demonic part and he used all he could to destroy me. It was 20 years ago, no therapy or help like we can find now. I survived because I had help of my friend and my sister. Otherwise I would probably end up on psychiatric department in hospital. Narcissistic rage is EXTREMELY dangerous. Thank you for all videos, I wish I could hear this 20 years ago. Thank you❤️
Love your video's do you ever talk about "Energy Vampire's" I have a friend who drives me crazy, she either calls me everyday and wants to take my time and talk for hours, and then she stops and I don't hear from her for almost a year. She Ghost me and then tells me when she's around her family she just can't call which is b.s. and when she has nothing to do she needs to vent and tries to use me as a listening block. She wants to vent but never wants to fix her problems.
I believe my husband of over 33 years, is a malignant narcissist. However, I've FINALLY gotten to "my line in the sand." Only took 34 1/2 yrs and two punches in the back of my head... during, yet another, one of his rages. A "discussion" he started, turned into another rage (that he escalated, yet he said I did) and then ended up getting physically abusive. Which he hadn't really been before... usually throws, breaks, destroys or things like that... until July 25th, 2023 around 4-4:30 pm.
Thank you. Could you address also narcissism in the family … mothers, fathers, siblings, etc. ? They can be harder to walk away from. Many experts on UA-cam address narcissism in romantic relationships.
I didn’t even know that it was this relevant until after watching it the second time but not been with the partner. Most importantly, much of my memory is coming back to me with my competency in my academia and personal experiences. I don’t know what to say.
This alone is fuel. To be a malignant narcissist and have all these videos specific about you is perfect for their ego. They are all facts but watching you share all of our secrets is just not fair!
I’m so sorry you went through that.I been with mine for almost 24 years and it’s getting unbearable.I’m still being submissive and avoiding conflict to keep the family together until I can move on financially on my own.
The cell phone proved beyond any shadow of doubt the extent of lies told is beyond pathological. No conscience at all. And yes she intentionally draws out the bad feelings one can have at their hands
I had someone I believe to be a malignant narcissist report me at work for harassment. She completely destroyed my reputation with most of the workplace. She made me doubt my own sense of reality so much I checked myself into a psych ward because I was afraid I had schizophrenia. The good news is I do not have schizophrenia, the bad news is now I have trust issues like nobody's business. This is an incredibly scary experience and it really does make you feel crazy- when she said "I'll perfect my craft and get back at you" was she really just making a weird joke or was she playing with me and planning this for over a month? Dozens and dozens of thoughts like these, with no way of knowing for sure just how much she planned her attack on me.
I don't know if you believe in Christ or the KJV Bible, but there is a reason the first command after "Preach the Gospel"l is "Cast out demons". When she mentioned her craft... She is speaking of Witch-(Craft)".
I recently began to suspect that she gets pleasure from her gaslighting. Your really the best I've encountered in 7 years of intensive research on this topic. You must know a way to turn the tables on this. My wife at her roots is an insecure, fearful coward and a bully. How does a person like this become completely apathetic and merciless? She lives in a world of denial and delusion. She caused my 21 year old, otherwise healthy son a heart attack and resulting heart condition. The doctor said it could be caused by some environmental stress or a genetic defect. She locked on to the genetic defect because it further supported her claims that I'm to blame for everything. The truth of it is more likely that my son suffers from Cushing's disease as a result of constantly raised cortisol levels. She alienated him from me to make it easier to continue and conceal her affair with her coworker. My son and I were sympatico. She drove a wedge between us with her manipulation and it I know it broke his heart to shut me out. It's been 7 years since I've seen or spoken to him. She keeps it that way because if we ever spoke and compared story's her manipulations and betrayals would become all too obvious. So she keeps feeding him with reasons to hate and fear me and I know he is damaged by it. That she doesn't know this or care is just evidence to how truly apathetic she has become. I'm so afraid he is going to become a predatory psychopath as a result of her manipulations. Everything I've done to save them from her has backfired in my face. She is always able to successfully portray herself as the victim. It's as if every person I involved is overcome with her elaborate act... with the tears and sobbing. They all seem to lose critical thinking and it causes a visceral reaction and it's always against me and the truth of our situation. It's impossible to combat or defend against. I've even sent my best friend of 35 years to my home to speak to my kids. We've known each other since kindergarten. He knows there are no lies between us. He knows I am a good person and love my children more then anything in the world and would never do anything to hurt or endanger them. He went to my home and I was waiting anxiously to hear from him. I figured he got busy with work or something and waited patiently. After 4 days I could not wait any longer so I called him. I could not believe what he told me. He told me that he had spoken to my wife. That he did not see or speak to my kids. He said he had coffee with my wife and she told him this elaborate story about my kids still loving me but no longer able to tolerate me and my demands, high standards and explosive behavior with them. He accused me of not doing enough to take care of my family and told me I needed to try harder if I wanted to win back their love. I could not believe it. Especially the part that they still loved me. I'd been living alone and isolated from them for 5 years at that point and had been paying child support the entire time but never got to see or speak to them. I could not believe how easily he was fooled. He knows me better then anyone and came away believing that I was a completely different person from the one he had known for 35+ years. The courts are fooled. My family is fooled. My kids are fooled. My best, closest and longest friend was fooled. It's crazy impossible to believe. How can this happen in a civilized society? I can't walk away from my kids and leave them to their own devices. I've tried. Everyone insists that I'm a codependent. That I have a codependent attachment style and that's why I can't give this up. That's not it. The ruminating about what my children are going through and what they will grow up to become if left in this toxic environment won't let me move on or live a productive life. I keep coming back to this no matter how hard I try to escape it. There must be a way to combat her aggressions and manipulations. At least long enough so that I can speak to my kids and get some much needed closure. If I can't I fear that this is pushing us towards some violent outcome that I desperately want to avoid. My son fits the FBI profile for a mass shooter so perfectly that it's frightening and all I can do is think that it can be avoided but no one will listen to me. I don't want to say I told you so after the fact. It's my son. I'm a father. I have been trying to proactively protect my children from harm and people on the outside looking in have all seen it differently for whatever reason. It's really frustrating. It's discouraging. It's depressing. I'm a very positive and optimistic person. I always wake up with a smile on my face and an appreciation for the life I have been blessed with. And mine has been a special ride. I'm a rockstar. I have much to be grateful for. And it's counter intuitive to think that a person like me could become stuck like this by such an awful human being... but its just the reality of my situation for the past 7 years. My kids have my natural ability for music and it's being squandered. If I were in their lives I would be helping to coax it out of them and teaching them to refine the musical genius that I know exists in each of them. They should be channeling their creativity and by learning improvisation techniques. My oldest daughter has perfect pitch. She also has a vocal range of 5 octaves. That's a rare thing that deserves to be nurtured and explored. It's a gift from God that only few on this earth are given like Mariah Carey and Roy Orbison. It's such a crime that I can't get any help with this. This illness sucks the life out everyone it touches. It causes depression which kills creativity, improvisation, motivation, critical thinking and the list goes on. It shuts the door to opportunity and new experience. It's so disruptive to life for a young mind. Especially the kind of minds my kids have. They have my mind. My spirit. I'm a rare INFJ personality type. My kids have it too. I was in all of the advanced learning programs in school. I graduated from University before most graduate from college. I have trait agreeableness and openness that I think some people must see as some kind of a scam or a con. And it has been to my detriment in rescuing my kids from this. My mind won't let me move on knowing what my kids are being subjected to and knowing what they could be or could have been. I've been criticized for this endlessly by therapists. The standard therapist drivel on this subject is to move on. Form a new life. Forget the old life and everyone in it... including my kids. They say that the kids will just have to find come to the realization on their own what kind of person they mother is and have to find their way out of her life on their own. Well fuck those therapists and what they think because it's not their lives or their conscious or their kids ...it's all mine. And I doubt any one of them has ever been in any kind of similar situation and if they had I guarantee you they would not be able to give such CHICKENSHIT and useless advice. It's the equivalent of taking your kids to the zoo and having them all fall into the lions den and saying, "oh they will be fine, let them find their own way of it!" It's preposterous and stupid. Someone please give me a strategy so I may put some fear into my wife long enough to give her pause and give me the time and opportunity to speak to my kids and try to get them out. Because after 7 years of countless attempts I have not yet been successful. I haven't seen my little girls face or heard her voice in 7 years. She spent the entirety of her teens growing up without her father. Shes my baby girl. I spoiled her. I know she misses me as much as I miss her. She the most intelligent of them all in way that most people are not capable of understanding because everyone else is just wired differently. I know she is still waiting for me to show up one day to rescue her from her situation. I know it with all of my heart. And no one has been able to tell me anything helpful...just advised me to give up and walk AWAY from the most important person in my life. I cannot and will not ever do it. It's not physically possible for me. The sooner that someone understands that and stops giving useless advice and being critical of me and Embraces what I already know about myself and gives me some USEFUL information...the sooner I can rescue my baby girl and return to a life that is worth living...for her and me. I'm waiting.
@@LiseLeblanc OMG. I'll need to respond to you after I've collected myself. I'm so shocked and surprised that someone had the courage to reply to me that I'm shaking and sobbing uncontrollably with hope and gratitude that I may finally get some help, guidance or insight to what I've been dealing with for such a prolonged period. I don't want to scare you away with high expectations. So I will collect myself and contact you as soon as I am able.
Once you see that gleam in their eye at your pain you can’t unsee it!
That gleam is a chilling thing to witness. Every time I witnessed it her eyes looked all black. Like her eyes were dilated to an extreme as if she were under the influence of drugs. I think she was just getting a big sadistic endorphin rush from seeing my misery. I thought it was just me seeing things. There are presumably plenty of victims of this kind of abuse in this forum. As an unofficial poll to see how common a thing it is...if you have witnessed the gleam give a thumbs up. If you have not give a thumbs down.
brilliant conclusion... my ex-malignant girlfriend smile pathetically the last time when she made me leave her house because she wanted to cheat on me with another man.. Luckily found out the truth
@@gamal9435 so your not reporting any gleam in the eyes? Any noticeable eye changes. Testosterone levels? My wife would seem to seeth with testosterone when she was up to some bullshit.
@@jimig399 what I saw in her eyes were, scorn, contempt, revenge. It turns out that my exgirlfriend, in her first marriage, was beaten and mistreated by some Greek man. She has been mentally poisoned by that over the years and is what she is now , a monster of revenge and merciless animal. She manipulate and lies to the point that she makes me laugh. I'm very pleased that I m escaping from that delusional person. The funny thing is that she is 68 and I am 52. So what the heck.
@@gamal9435 thats all terrible stuff. It's also a pretty straightforward no the paranormal eye activity. Appreciate your input and sharing your experience. Get well.
Your pain empowers their sense of superiority. It’s beyond sick.
U need to live it to believe it
What I’m experiencing after I left (no contact) my Narc sister is that other people who haven’t had experience with a narcissist thinks I am a really bad person to have left my sister. They don’t know what we’ve gone through.
@@ukegirl13what created her behavior?
@@voyagerone7487I’m not sure. She is 10 years older than me, so I really don’t know and wonder myself, but we did have a narcissist father.
I usually identify them by there twinkle in eye when you tell them something that upset you or some bad luck story about yourself. It a twinkle in there eye like a smirk.
I’ve seen it!
Number 11 they have a hard time interacting and playing with children children often call out their bad social skills very quickly
November 11? And why is that
i've been with someone like that. she wasnt touching all points, but i feel the damage is beyond repair for some parts. Now i know what real evil is. If you are with someone who display even 2 of these point in the list stop all contat, no explanation, run for your life and never ever look back. Lots of love to all you who experienced this. You are not alone.
I hate myself for staying in that way too long. I don't want to look at myself as damaged. I think that it has changed me. I'm a different person now, smarter I hope.
@@brianreed8271 Elon't beat yourself up! Me and many others did it too. We will AND ARE surviving this one even though me and you don't know each other I don't even need each other to beat these weirdos in a game that we never chose to start in the first place
@@brianreed8271 ... Lose illusion = gain experience !
2 flags is 90% of the population probably... I would say 5 and more is clear danger zone
I will stay for a while and she want she will do. She is much better after the affair
Try to deal with one of these characters as a close family member. The best thing is detachment. Just cut them off...
You cant be a nice person and a narcissist at the same time. I almost lost myself to one of them. These people are born evil. Their brain is wired completely differant than a normal person. I dont cut them slack anymore. I feel absolutly no empathy for them.
Put them on an island together
Yep. I've dealt with nasty idiots before. But open bullying is almost preferable to the sick deep manipulation narcs use to hurt people. They're absolutely fucked up people.
My eldest daughter is bipolar & a narcissist. She will have the whole family arguing every time she comes around. And is gleeful when it happens. She has assaulted me, her aunt, & both her husbands. She wished her sister & my grandson dead. The whole family has cut her off.
I have been the sole target of malignant narcissist constant gaslighting in a female friend group. Subtle covert minimization and devaluation occurred frequently and it was most commonly facilitated by her innocently excluding me. My feelings about this over a long period of time changed, self blame, to denial (she's super competitive) then back to self blame, which eventually morphed into the stunning realization was someone who wanted to crush me and enjoyed seeing me being stuck and struggling. I politely ducked out of all social interactions with reasonable excuses, but there was one avenue she had never tried, gaslighting by proxy....through our husbands. My husband spotted it a mile away. . Leaving everyone behind was the only way out. We both struggle with the loss of so many good friends. I tried to rationalize the behavior for so long, but the biggest red flag was my gut feeling something was seriously wrong. It is not normal to be anxious around a friend.
i hope you're in a better place now. and i hope those friends realized the common denominator. If they didn't, then you for sure dodged many bullets
I agree with everything you said here EXCEPT some very high functioning malignant narcissists CAN maintain long-term (decades even) marriages. It is all an illusion of normalcy of course, as they are entertaining other relationships and prostitues, etc. at the same time. But some of these individuals stay married for decades while leading double, triple and multiple lives. Some never get caught. I have seen it myself.
Yep.
You are sooo right. My father for one, and my ex for another.
I was thinking the same
I agree because I was married to one for 18yrs. It was so damaging that I've never recovered.
@@shortmeister4321 Be strong! There's always time to recover.
It sounds like the malignant narcissists have a demon or demons controlling them to torture others. A personality like that doesn't seem human.
They are 100 % possessed by a multitude of demonic forces. Demons feed off of malice, rage, arrogance, conceit, etc. They attach to people who are evil.
Spot On.
😈
So true
Narcissism is mostly biology. Demons would have little need to control a narcissist, since by definition a narcissist would already be considered to be a person with what some describe as demonic traits.
This channel is so underrated... "experts" with a lot of followers are no near close to the level and subtle explanations you give! Thanks
100% agreed.
I am curious which experts You think are good and bad. Lise and Sam are my favorites.
@@danielepp3113 I wouldn't say the names and I don't think they're bad ... they aren't as effective to explain different type of narcissist and how their mental frame works!
@@andersongomez636 Ok. Thanks, anyway.
10:57 _Malignant narcissists are masters of bringing out the worst in you_
So true.
It's very hard to finally come to the realization that I was just food for her and that now I've left I literally mean nothing to her
@GBiv78 how did you manage to get over it? I am going through the break up now.
@@sailing7777 you literally just have to go through the grieving process. Something you loved has died so look up the grieving process and maybe get some grief counselling. And do not try to dig up the grave, it won't be nice
I had many narcissists in my life but never knew untill I dated a malignant narcissist woman. She really took the gaslighting to a whole new level and she touched the other nine points too. She is the one that made me know about npd because I really suffered in her hands. I had to start researching more on narcism and I am glad that I now discovered even the hidden ones that has been subtly tormenting me in my family, at work, in church. Now I have a strong npd antenna that I pay attention to everyone around me. I have removed many of them from my life and I am still doing that daily.
Good on you! It`s unfortunate that this level of maturity is many times frowned upon, but to anyone who has been through narcissitic abuse it is vital to do what you do. I hope your life is better now!
That was my group therapist - he said he knew something I had to fight out, understood emotions and could almost read people’s minds and would gaslight people who didn’t like him. He said he really enjoyed his job and said he was sadistic but was only using it as a diagnostic tool and really enjoyed his job. I spent five years with this guy and it made me act the same way causing pain to my family. It even affected the children in my family. Eventually due to his behaviors manifesting in me I got fired from my job.
I survived and became stronger, but I suffered ooo I suffered...
Lise thanks a million times. I’ve been watching your series on different types of narcissists. And I gotta say this by far is the closest explanation to my ex. I thought she was a covert but this is tha jackpot. Literally every flag and my gut wouldn’t just sit right. Never. I broke things off and went no contact. It has definitely taken a toll on my energy and emotions but I’m finally getting past the resentment. Lise keep doing what you’re doing I recommend people to your work when they’re ready, because no everyone can understand this.
I was chosen as an attack target pretty much exactly one year ago from a malignant narcissist. Their target was my wife who they wanted to f***. They were people I was conditioned to think were good friends. We went on vacation with them and on our trip (the first night) the narc basically wanted carte' blanche approval to f*** my wife along with his. I said I wasn't on board with that and the degradation and discard started immediately. This guy attacked my parenting ability, my social ability, and my integrity to the point that I actually had a breakdown. This was day one of a two week vacation. He spent the next two weeks attempting to isolate, degrade and discard me in the hope that he would get what he wanted, which was the chance to f*** my wife. The sad thing for me is that my wife is a covert narc and has blamed me for the confrontation and that I "ruined the trip". She didn't defend me in any way, but rather agreed with the malignant narc that I was to blame for getting upset and "ruining the vacation". Over the next months she betrayed me many times by spending much time with this couple as I was home feeling extremely anxious as I felt she was betraying me to spend time with them. She never once held them accountable for their attack on me and didn't care about my anxiety over the matter. I am currently working on our separation in an attempt not to burn to the ground all the things we have worked so hard to build over our 30 years together, but rest assured, I am f***ing out and will be living for myself for the first time in my 52 years of life in the spring when we can effectively sell our house and separate. I didn't realize the covert narcissistic abuse I was suffering (I was blaming myself as a result of the gaslighting) for the entire 30 years of our relationship until I got therapy that she told me I needed as a result of my blowing up at the narc who was attacking me on vacation. My therapist worked with me to help me see and understand what was really going on. It was so clear to her and I appreciate her honesty on the matter so much. Videos like reinforce so much for me that I'm doing the right thing for myself (for the first time in my life... I won't go into my childhood which plays a major role in this as well) and I'm excited at the prospect of simply not living on pins and needles the rest of my life.
Wow what a sad situation....your wife wanted to go along and didn't see how wrong this was? I kind of relate.....you wanted your wife to show loyalty to you and stand by you...but instead started to blame you. Hope life gets better for you....for her it blows up in her face
That's awful. Best of luck brother.
Tell her Youre divorcing her and taking all your assets.
Videos like this helped me escape my narc spouse as well. I'm sorry you had to go through this.
What helped me was hearing that I stayed not because I was weak, stupid or insecure. But because I was trusting, loyal and loving. I stayed because I truly cared. I stayed because of my strengths not because of my weaknesses.
I just wanted to also reinforce your decision to leave by saying there are people out here that understand.
Narcs will tempt you day in and day out to "roll in their mud" with them. And for the most part, you can deny to but at boiling points, you will get angry and they will gleefully use that against you as their "proof" that you were the problem all along. Forgetting that you're hurting and in pain.
For me? I almost became like him. :( And I can see him in my actions sometimes and am currently trying to actively decide who I want to be. It's a lot of introspection but ya know what else?
For myself, my spirituality and prayers are the only thing that kept me sane. (I'll keep what I believe to myself for respect). But the idea that a benevolent being who truly understands what I went through helped me so much. And even more so, had my back.
This benevolent deity I pray to recently told me to "learn how to enjoy life again." like how I was as a blameless child. To learn to just love and enjoy life again.
I sat there and realized that I hadn't just sat and enjoyed life for a very long time. I was always on the search to improve myself to impress my spouse. I forgot to just sit and enjoy life.
For me I feel so free. I can joke with whomever I want. I can give compliments freely. I can laugh.
I'm learning how to just enjoy life.
I hope you learn that it's okay to love and enjoy life too.
Best wishes on your new path! You got this! ❤ the best decision in your life! Congrats
Thank you for this video it is spot on. I married one and it destroyed my life. Noone would believe what these people are capable of.
If you have met one or are in a relationship with one, just run as fast as you can!!
Thank you Lise! Another great reality check!
Fantastic episode. 👏🏾👏🏾
May God bless your knowledge and efforts. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
RUN!!!!
Their behavour is so bizaree after some time u start believing you are the crazy one or the psycho is ridiculous
True. That's gaslighting.
I will overcome all of this
Wow. Yep. You are right when you said that one good thing is that the relationship will be brief.
This is spot on, I relive the memories by these experiences, not, to victimize myself, but to educate myself, I never understood this before, but it all clicks. I respect and understand that I do not, need the approval, of anyone especially any type, of narcissist.
This video 100% describes my third husband, to whom I was married for 8 years. I did not know what to call it, but eventually, I realized it was never going to change, and so I walked. Got into counseling, and only then realized what this actually was. I feel like I escaped with not only my sanity but my actual life, as he was a dangerous person.
Third husband, same. But I also realized that the first two were also as well.
The chopping block ! Wow that is so accurate ❤😢
They are very sly with those who are their main supply but others who have frequent contact with them such as friends or family will and do notice. When those others mention their observations to you, listen to them. They will make sure you are named in anything illicit they have going on including things you may not know about. You will eventually be held accountable when whatever they did is uncovered. They will attempt to keep assets that are equally yours due to marriage in their name or possession only. One of their core beliefs is “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine. They will marry quickly because they need narcissistic supply and will use love bombing to hook you- you will not know this is happening because they can be charming and generous but it is all a game to them. They actually feel empowered if they can pick up a new supply quickly, so beware of the “charmer” who comes out of nowhere and is suddenly your next “ love”! They do not know how to love, but are experts at making it look like they do. If you have been or are being sought in this way -BEWARE! They are also pathological liars so don’t take anything they say seriously and check out things they say - ask for “hard evidence” or validation.
You know you’re the most accurate talking about narcissistic women? And relating to other problems. Malignant can also have long term relations, broken in short cycles, I think. Best regards
Wow yep…basically all of this. I’m so glad I’m out 🙏3.5 months no contact
Great. Keep it up!
I was in a relationship with this very person for several years..I felt compelled to help and be compassionate for her. It first started with me constantly bailing her out when she'd loose jobs, for stealing, hitting or being intoxicated. I was naive and ended getting her pregnant. I tried to reclaim a "normal" life with her, but she would become enraged and violent..often setting me up. It was a complete mind bender and I was being gaslit. I also found recently I was trauma bonded and after attempting to create distance I continued to watch her get in trouble, loose jobs, and put my son in harms way. I eventually took sympathy on her and tried to let her back in as she played a well design fraudulent campaign to win me back over..this unfortunately led to another child..I ha e since left her, but due to ridiculous family laws and my lack of financial blessing to hire a lawyer..she is actually the custodial parent and continues to manipulate me and the boys. It has been a living hell. I have recently tried to raise money to hire legal aid, but still have had no luck. If anyone has advice..I am all ears..mahalo..Andy
Hi Andy get in touch with HG Tudor! He will help you. I think its 150 per call
Yeeeah ...the family court system is a very underrated form of female privilege and power
She must've had some good twat. Not to criticize you but you gotta think with your head & not your dick.
@Joseph Bowers , Oh yea right. Tell that to my sister.
I think some people are more of a cluster B cocktail, making it hard to figure out which category they'd fall into exactly, because it can also be so much more subtle than what you see described. Some won't call you names or treat you badly in any very obvious way. It's more about the avoidant, silent treatment/subtle threats made in ways they know you can't point to and say OMG you're being creepy. I may have just dealt with something like that for a year.
Yes you're absolutely right... some fit rather neatly into one diagnosis, while many others are more of a PD cocktail
we're in the age of narcissism, it is pervasive and dynamic
wendigo
check out the book "Dispelling Wetiko"
"Behavior is a language" Dr John Delony.
Videos like this channel has and others helped me so much.
that the type i have dealt with it is the covert narc
My wife is a covert narc. Luckily I got out pretty quick.
My God she's telling my story,as a matter of fact yesterday I kid u not my EX tells me after talking to me maybe 15 min in a week that she's done with me that she's moving on, what's even more crazy is last weekend we went and spent the hole day playing at the casino then we got a room then drove back "home" just so she could tell me in the most malicious way it's over she's moving on.
After 10 years I guess I just got use to it,I normalized it, justifying it by being convinced that it was me.
FML I'M FREE!!!
You are dead on accurate with this video, excellent video.
100% my parents. so glad they are out of my life
Id sum it up: all about controll
Scary, thank you for sharing your knowledge here.
This fits perfect with my wife. Absolutely perfect except 1 thing. We have been married for 21 years and also I was not well adjusted when I met her because we were poor and lived in the south side of Chicago. The thing is I pulled my self out. We moved to Indiana I got a degree and changed dramatically. We have 10 children 25 to 1yr old. I think my resilience and willingness to accept behaviors ordinary people would not due to a violent and abusive upbringing along with the fact that we had so many children were key to the fact that we have been married for 21 years. There were three major discards of me that occurred and in the last one she utterly ruined my life. I have had my eyes opened since then and watched these behaviors play out. I moved accross the street to be close to the kids but for my own safety. In her delusion she is a grand model or actor. She needs to be worshiped. When I came back in 2020 there hundreds of licentious pics and videos and dozens of guys on her varies social media platforms on top of the physical abuse and the systematic vicious destruction of my life. Then, a new baby. There is so much more.
Crazy how quite a bit of this overlaps with the managerial playbook at some work places. Especially those that try to ersatz-engineer the tech startup "free spirit" Steve Jobs vibe.
Just found your channel and absolutely love it . Thanks for all the important tips 👍
Hello Lise,
You summed it all up. I wish you knew how grateful I am to you and others who educate people like me on these issues. Merry Christmas to you Lise. I know it’s early but I feel good sharing that joy with you. Stay healthy and safe inside your body 😉🤙🏼
Thank you Lise I’m not doing very well with my wife that has been diagnosed with bpd and I think npd now because this sounds exactly like my life of 11 years.My physical body is starting to hurt from the pain and as a man it’s hard to talk about it thank u for this
My wife has been diagnosed with bpd also. This presentation is the most accurate representation of my wife's illness that I have found. It is very precise in describing her behaviors. If your beginning to feel rundown by it friend I recommend that you proactively do something to save your life. I had a health scare a few years ago from the extreme and constant stress my wife provides. I had a DVT blood clot in my leg and discovered an auto immune disease I didn't know I had. And I am a very fit man. At 53 I have the body of a professional athlete. But fitness alone won't save you. My diet was poor due to lack of appetite caused by depression. That's all it takes for the wheels to come off your health. Even if you believe yourself to be in very good shape. Stress and depression are KILLERS.
I know it's not always possible to avoid the stress or to leave the person that is responsible for causing it. People will tell you to go no contact and that is the end of their advice and I find that to be ignorant and unhelpful. I imagine you can probably relate to that. If you can't escape your problem you can still do something to keep it from costing you your life. Make sure you eat well and don't develop any vitamin and mineral deficiencies. Get your annual check-ups. Get treatment for depression. Stay active and physically fit. And the hardest thing for me ...make sure you get restful sleep. I only sleep about 3 hours at a time now. When it first began my body began fighting back against it and made me sick. I think my body's settled down and become accustomed to it now because i still can't get a full night's sleep but I am no longer sick because of it. I'm sure it will catch up to me sooner that later tho. Hope you survive man. Take care.
Nothing is worth your health: take everything you have and Just leave go somewhere they cant find you
@@petekdemircioglu You sound like your parroting what you heard some therapist say on the subject. It's not always possible to escape your situation or to just leave and move far away as you recommend as your solution. There are literally so many reasons why a person could be stuck with another person that I'm not even going to bother to give one example because with the slightest amount of critical thinking you should be able to think of a few on your own. Especially if there are kids or extended family involved. Not everyone is equipped or prepared to go live life as a hobo to escape a narcissistic personality. If you want to help I suggest you at least think about the advice your offering before you offer it. Furthermore not everyone is capable of just running away from their problems. Some people see running from a problem as a way to exacerbate that problem and rightly so. Some people are wired differently and have an internal need to fix a problem...not run away from it. And a person should not have to run away or out of their own life to escape a difficult situation or even abuse. In my opinion it's the abuser who should be faced with that choice not the victim. Running away and hiding is not for me and I can't imagine I'm the only one who feels this way. I should not need to change my life and location to escape abuse. No one should. Running away is making this problem worse. These people are bullies. You only empower a bully by running away. You give them power over you and you damage yourself internally. These people need to be punched in the guts and knocked off their high horse and exposed for the cowards they truly are. That's the only way to win against them. They are all cowards, liars and bullies at their core and I learned a very long time ago that the way you deal with a bully is to face them head on and punch them in the gut the first chance you get. They all cry for their mamas after that. Every single one.
You run far away. I've created the life I want for myself and it's taken me many decades to do so. Men don't run.
@@jimig399 totally agree with you I’m the same way it’s extremely hard when she’s in control of my business and my livelihood plus dog’s family etc it’s hard to walk away but even harder to be the guy that everyone else looks upon as the guy that’s a total ass hole for sticking up for what’s right
@@kkamp0528 thanks friend. I knew I could not be the only one to see this problem the way I do. And I feel ya about being hated for being the guy who sticks it out. It's just who I am. I couldn't do it any other way. No one has been able to appreciate that. Your literally the first to understand my perspective of what I've been suffering. And my ordeal began over 8 years ago. Your the first to relate in 8 years. I really appreciate the positive reinforcement. Sincerely, it means a lot. I have been misjudged and judged harshly for things that I see as positive character traits and it's been hurtful for people to see it as something that it is not. So much so that I began doubting myself for a time. And that is not a good place to be let me tell you. Not for a guy like me who deals in certainty. I so appreciate your comment and wish you well on your journey.
Best regards,
JimiG 🙋
Emotionally mature adults naturally avoid emotional manipulation. It's about awareness and realizing we all have an inner emotional child. To stop the little child from jumping into anyone's arms who gives the promise of emotional attention. To take loving parent responsibility with this part of yourself. It is not the adult worlds responsibility to do this for you once you grow up into an adult. Many families keep boys emotional stunted and subject to female demands.
My two brothers; they are callous and vindictive. They have no conscience in doing anything to get what they want be it material gain or their perceived power over others.
I’ve been watching so many videos and reading about all of this in the last couple of weeks
It’s all exactly how I feel and the situation I’m in with my long-term partner
I feel so stuck and lost
I could never understand this grandiose behaviour but now it makes sense. I will definitely have to consult with you for advice on risk managing my social and business life.
As always: Brilliant! And brilliantly put!
I like you, Lise.❤ I think you are a good psychologist.
This video is so powerful and well detailed … I appreciate it
Nailed it - the sadism through their plans is unsettling
I can relate to number 8 soooooooo much....I was always on thin ice
Thanks coach.
Whenever I get lonely I just watch some of your videos and I'm instantly cured.
Cannot stress the immoral part enough
Lise, this has been my story. Lost everything I worked for my entire adult life., falsely accused and sentbto prison for 3.5 years by my ex wife.......
MGTOW is the go.
Thank you for your videos!!!! They help a lot!
Lise. You are extremely articulate and deliver with such clarity the behaviors I have been systematically intentionally tortured and abused with by my genius sick woman. Glad I walked away!
Thanks for providing these videos, Lise. Your plain explanations have helped me better understand how to apply what Prof Sam Vaknin teaches. Between the two of you I've really come to understand what's going on and this has given me peace of mind to pick myself up from a ten year marriage to a woman who is Cluster B material. I think. I'm not equipped to diagnose her nor do I want to. She likely never will herself either because there's nothing wrong with her in her mind. I've always been the problem in her mind. And until she came into my life I knew nothing about any of this. If there were something I could do to help her, I would. The chances of this I think approach zero however. If nothing else, she's taught me to better understand people. // alex
I second this. Vaknin, has helped in addition also. Great content here as always!
And your not alone. This happens to many many people. Take care.
About 5 years ago I asked my wife - now ex - to go to marriage counseling. Her response was, "We don't need marriage counseling!! There is nothing wrong with our marriage!!!!" Wow. I knew then and there that something was very wrong. She didn't even care to ask me why I brought it up. It took a few years, and I suffered greatly during this time, for me to get my finances in order. She drained my assets. I filed for divorce and had her served 'the papers' Dec. 27, 2021. When she read the complaint she said to me, "I was thinking about doing this too." I beat her to the punch. Hahaha. But, since she wanted to take credit for initiating the divorce process, it made it easier. I cut my losses and ran. I gave up everything, including a house I owned for 30 years, and left the day after she signed the divorce agreement. I am starting over completely. I'm retired and considering a 30 year mortgage on a fixed income. She really did a number on me.
take care of yourself love honor and protect your inner child and true self andget out.. dont suffer anymore for tatoxic person that needs someone to put down... keep selfcompassion boundaries integrity to your inner child and get out. A lot of safe enough people out there to connect in helathy ways. Its a healing and learning process but i wish you well and i hope you can get out and keepiloving yourself :)
Best explanation I've ever heard. It is true. The only positive I've learned - they are predictable once you recognize just how vulnerable they are... yet exceptionally prepared for anything you say or do to refute.. thats just another weapon they have to turn their minion inside out. I would like to think i would never try to have a real conversation, intimate discussion, once I recognize them... it will all be fuel to push even deeper into your vulnerabilities-most of which they installed... no logic to crazy- but there is a predictability that reveals the what's next. That's where you can regain a sense of self. I think. Because you can recognise what's coming next and estimate the timeframe. Maybe not the precise event- but the ingredients are the same. Ie- same sh** different day. I find it pretty easy to recognize them - even from a distance. I'm immune to their excessive charm and attention to how you react....
Just watching this video felt like emotional terrorism. I grew up in a home with a narcisistic parent, and i lived 2 years with them alone. I left that home drinking everyday after 12 pm and drinking to numb my pain mainly. It took me a while to find a support group that talks about child hood trauma, and tofind a safe enough fellow to sit with me and ecourage me to be more selfcompassionate on myself and modeled healthy boundaries for me , i also had don some therapy, the loving parent started awakening in me, i ws more gentle on myself and i started setting healthy boundaries around treatment i wouldn't tolerate , i had long been gone out of the home with the narcisist, but i needed to really up my assertivity levels and start setting healthy boundaries , to have integrity to me and my inner child. WHen i started having more selfcompassion on my self and setting healthy boundaries my inner child reemerged because now I had the commitment to keep him safe, to love honor and protect him. To say no to unfair treatment, hold sthose boundaries and follow trhough with them if they werent respected. My inner child felt more backed i learnt a lot about boundaries my first year of healing from trauma, and its still a big part of my recovery. I continue to practice selfcompassion gentleness humor love and respect, and integrity to my ner child my truest slef when he sends me a message that something is off i try to be his voice and speak up, and say it ,and be my authentic self, stay true to him. Manipulative people always run away from people with selfcompasssion self lvoe boundaries communication and integrity to my inner child, they're not interested in a person that loves themselves first in a healthy way.. And im not interetsted in a person who when i need to set a boundary talk communicate or express something they will try something toxic like blameshifting. There for selfcompassion and healthy boundaries integrity to my inner child and staying in my truth and having my own back in a healthy way shows me who the safe enough people are for my journey, of life and healing. There are a lof of safe enough empaths out there that i choose to connect with , in meaningful ways that can get my needs met in a reciprocal way, and we can communicate or have mutual support and connection in a way that meets needof togetherness connection, feeling seen heard and being part of. Selfcompassion healthy boundaries and integrity to my inner child show me who the safe enough people are .And those people that stay around for my authetnic and trueself with seselfcompassion and healthy boundaries and integrity to my inner child are my people ...... God speed were healing were worth it and keep saying no and boundaries with the toxic narcs and staying. inour truth and disengaging, there are a lot of safe enough others who want to stick around for our healthy authentic selfloving and selfrespecting true self , those are my people. !!!
Thank you for sharing some of your experience and healing journey
Finally I got answers why it was so short lived and how quickly she discarded and replaced me 😢
All perfect...I got away as I saw/ heard little insults..it stayed platonic, well did no make advances ..she offered I left..
Just wanted to say "Thank you" for sharing your knowledge. This is the last day I cling to your words of wisdom in order to understand that sick person I was with. Her motives and behaviors were made clear by your videos. I feel foolish for falling for it but forgive myself. I see a professional tomorrow to finally close out this brain virus experience. Lastly, I'm learning to reduce my narcissist behaviors and show more compassion, patience and understanding to others. That's real winning. Being kind is true happiness. Thinking of others is true happiness. The rest is gnashing of teeth hell on Earth. Due to my Aspergers, it's not easy, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE a challenge. Now this video.....lol....spot on. How could I be so stupid lol Just glad I did the hard thing by breaking it off. Almost placed her first before my needs. CN damn near worked but it was clear there was a CN brick wall. Near the end, it was hard to deny her true self. There are some things I will never understand, like why she broke out in hives as I closed in on her and she knew the end was near. Why would she care? Well, hives were not for me. They were for her CN friend that I already tossed to the curb. I indicated she could have him or she would have me. She was about to tell him "something" that would not have been the real truth. But it made her nervous to confront that guy about how he (both of them) was ruining the relationship
Great Stuff!
It's so spot on.
Also, I forgot:
Can you make a video on the specifics of Machiavellian mentality? And respectively the pathological vs non-pathological employment of those strategies with malignant or non-malignant intent. Reasoning behind it and manifestations, etc… Thank you 🙏
They will also constantly be on the attack. They know that it costs far more in every capacity to defend.
Just be grateful your not one... Its a gift they didnt get
Good point!
6 years still not recovered fully.
A slight almost undetectable smirk when lying to your face and knowing you have to accept it because you have evidence.
Lise,another masterpiece....I long ago knew I was married to a malignant narcissist...this is another validation of my conclusion....99 percent on it all but #9. It was a 30 year poisoning...why? I hear you ask .....well first of all both my parents were Narcissists...lol I went to a Navy boot camp in high school for a week and observed the phycological tactics being administered to our group...99 percent broke and took to form...it was freaky..meaning I have a high breaking point... secondly this is a normal horrible life style I grew up on.thirdly the marriage was financially very successful as I fueled her to the top of the food chain...we ate with the governor,we were invited to presidential dinners in Washington...$250 a plate...She never broke me...but the damage was immense.....this empaths love of my life was a malignant Narcissist....and honestly if I knew I was with a first cousin to a psychopath,or even knew what a narc really was ....I would have turned and run ...
One thing they do is sneaky calculating actions.YOu won'tsee them calculating, but later on you can see exactly how they arrived at the mess you find yourself in.
Love your videos !
In my reality I am not the king or the queen but rather some guy who records everything. I keep trying to disprove my personal opinions with examples and evidence once an opinion has been found which can be disproved. Once the discovery has been made, its time to show what was wrong. Narcs, sociopaths and dark empaths find it very difficult to survive in such a fantasy. Thanks for your video. Kind regards from Ásgeir in Iceland.
As always, so on point. It helps so much to understand.
@liseleblanc this is so great. At 12 minutes you look so emotional like it is personal. Anyway so clarifying. I grew up with a father with several of these traits. We grow up, but sometimes the past comes back in a flash.
Love the videos, but better without the water ripple transitions. Best just a normal cut, or maybe a short fade to black occasionally.
She’s counseled a lot of people.
11:14 I just heard this on Friday “this is your last chance, I’m gonna give you one more chance”
Thank you for your Videos IT helped me a Lot!!!!!!!!!!!!Love every Video of you !!!!!!!!thank you!!!!!!you helped me soooooooooo soo much ..!!!!
My malignant narc was trying hard to paint a perfect picture for other people, we were together for 13 years, he was faithful and was looking at me with respect, until I showed any signs of weakness ( sickness included) then he would become cruel. He was not manipulating me, but he was manipulating everyone else, including his own mother. I was "part of him" so he did not tried to destroy me, but he was trying to take me to his sick eality
On one point I realised that I don't want children with him and decided to leave. That was like I pinch a needle to his satanic and demonic part and he used all he could to destroy me. It was 20 years ago, no therapy or help like we can find now. I survived because I had help of my friend and my sister. Otherwise I would probably end up on psychiatric department in hospital. Narcissistic rage is EXTREMELY dangerous.
Thank you for all videos, I wish I could hear this 20 years ago. Thank you❤️
I’m so glad you survived and got out with the help of a good support system!
SOCIOPATHS & PSYCHOPATHS YEP... LIARS, LIARS, LIARS
Really good approach. Ask myself.
This is 💯 percent on point
Love your video's do you ever talk about "Energy Vampire's" I have a friend who drives me crazy, she either calls me everyday and wants to take my time and talk for hours, and then she stops and I don't hear from her for almost a year. She Ghost me and then tells me when she's around her family she just can't call which is b.s. and when she has nothing to do she needs to vent and tries to use me as a listening block. She wants to vent but never wants to fix her problems.
I believe my husband of over 33 years, is a malignant narcissist. However, I've FINALLY gotten to "my line in the sand." Only took 34 1/2 yrs and two punches in the back of my head... during, yet another, one of his rages. A "discussion" he started, turned into another rage (that he escalated, yet he said I did) and then ended up getting physically abusive. Which he hadn't really been before... usually throws, breaks, destroys or things like that... until July 25th, 2023 around 4-4:30 pm.
Thank you. Could you address also narcissism in the family … mothers, fathers, siblings, etc. ? They can be harder to walk away from. Many experts on UA-cam address narcissism in romantic relationships.
I didn’t even know that it was this relevant until after watching it the second time but not been with the partner. Most importantly, much of my memory is coming back to me with my competency in my academia and personal experiences. I don’t know what to say.
This alone is fuel.
To be a malignant narcissist and have all these videos specific about you is perfect for their ego. They are all facts but watching you share all of our secrets is just not fair!
I thought I met one of these once but she turned out to be just a benign narcissist so all good
LISTEN to this. Take it very seriously. Don’t deny your intuition. Run.
Wonderful video again. If someone want a real example, lookout of Shayne Hubers, a well documented case.
When you think that they're poisoning you they love to throw it back in your face like you're the crazy one.
Married to one for 30 years. Destroyed a beautiful family 💔
I’m so sorry you went through that.I been with mine for almost 24 years and it’s getting unbearable.I’m still being submissive and avoiding conflict to keep the family together until I can move on financially on my own.
@@Kykylandfarming agree. Your day will come. Save every dime you can. Life is so much sweeter on the other side of the door
Going to work is a holiday, being at home is work. That’s how it feels.
The cell phone proved beyond any shadow of doubt the extent of lies told is beyond pathological. No conscience at all. And yes she intentionally draws out the bad feelings one can have at their hands
That’s true , now I am unable to recover. It was too much . Don’t know how long it will take to recover
Two years now after a 20-year marriage. Starting to feel better. You will too.
Thanks Lise!
I had someone I believe to be a malignant narcissist report me at work for harassment. She completely destroyed my reputation with most of the workplace. She made me doubt my own sense of reality so much I checked myself into a psych ward because I was afraid I had schizophrenia. The good news is I do not have schizophrenia, the bad news is now I have trust issues like nobody's business. This is an incredibly scary experience and it really does make you feel crazy- when she said "I'll perfect my craft and get back at you" was she really just making a weird joke or was she playing with me and planning this for over a month? Dozens and dozens of thoughts like these, with no way of knowing for sure just how much she planned her attack on me.
I don't know if you believe in Christ or the KJV Bible, but there is a reason the first command after "Preach the Gospel"l is "Cast out demons".
When she mentioned her craft...
She is speaking of Witch-(Craft)".
I recently began to suspect that she gets pleasure from her gaslighting. Your really the best I've encountered in 7 years of intensive research on this topic. You must know a way to turn the tables on this. My wife at her roots is an insecure, fearful coward and a bully. How does a person like this become completely apathetic and merciless? She lives in a world of denial and delusion. She caused my 21 year old, otherwise healthy son a heart attack and resulting heart condition. The doctor said it could be caused by some environmental stress or a genetic defect. She locked on to the genetic defect because it further supported her claims that I'm to blame for everything. The truth of it is more likely that my son suffers from Cushing's disease as a result of constantly raised cortisol levels. She alienated him from me to make it easier to continue and conceal her affair with her coworker. My son and I were sympatico. She drove a wedge between us with her manipulation and it I know it broke his heart to shut me out. It's been 7 years since I've seen or spoken to him. She keeps it that way because if we ever spoke and compared story's her manipulations and betrayals would become all too obvious. So she keeps feeding him with reasons to hate and fear me and I know he is damaged by it. That she doesn't know this or care is just evidence to how truly apathetic she has become. I'm so afraid he is going to become a predatory psychopath as a result of her manipulations. Everything I've done to save them from her has backfired in my face. She is always able to successfully portray herself as the victim. It's as if every person I involved is overcome with her elaborate act... with the tears and sobbing. They all seem to lose critical thinking and it causes a visceral reaction and it's always against me and the truth of our situation. It's impossible to combat or defend against. I've even sent my best friend of 35 years to my home to speak to my kids. We've known each other since kindergarten. He knows there are no lies between us. He knows I am a good person and love my children more then anything in the world and would never do anything to hurt or endanger them. He went to my home and I was waiting anxiously to hear from him. I figured he got busy with work or something and waited patiently. After 4 days I could not wait any longer so I called him. I could not believe what he told me. He told me that he had spoken to my wife. That he did not see or speak to my kids. He said he had coffee with my wife and she told him this elaborate story about my kids still loving me but no longer able to tolerate me and my demands, high standards and explosive behavior with them. He accused me of not doing enough to take care of my family and told me I needed to try harder if I wanted to win back their love. I could not believe it. Especially the part that they still loved me. I'd been living alone and isolated from them for 5 years at that point and had been paying child support the entire time but never got to see or speak to them. I could not believe how easily he was fooled. He knows me better then anyone and came away believing that I was a completely different person from the one he had known for 35+ years. The courts are fooled. My family is fooled. My kids are fooled. My best, closest and longest friend was fooled. It's crazy impossible to believe. How can this happen in a civilized society? I can't walk away from my kids and leave them to their own devices. I've tried. Everyone insists that I'm a codependent. That I have a codependent attachment style and that's why I can't give this up. That's not it. The ruminating about what my children are going through and what they will grow up to become if left in this toxic environment won't let me move on or live a productive life. I keep coming back to this no matter how hard I try to escape it. There must be a way to combat her aggressions and manipulations. At least long enough so that I can speak to my kids and get some much needed closure. If I can't I fear that this is pushing us towards some violent outcome that I desperately want to avoid. My son fits the FBI profile for a mass shooter so perfectly that it's frightening and all I can do is think that it can be avoided but no one will listen to me. I don't want to say I told you so after the fact. It's my son. I'm a father. I have been trying to proactively protect my children from harm and people on the outside looking in have all seen it differently for whatever reason. It's really frustrating. It's discouraging. It's depressing. I'm a very positive and optimistic person. I always wake up with a smile on my face and an appreciation for the life I have been blessed with. And mine has been a special ride. I'm a rockstar. I have much to be grateful for. And it's counter intuitive to think that a person like me could become stuck like this by such an awful human being... but its just the reality of my situation for the past 7 years. My kids have my natural ability for music and it's being squandered. If I were in their lives I would be helping to coax it out of them and teaching them to refine the musical genius that I know exists in each of them. They should be channeling their creativity and by learning improvisation techniques. My oldest daughter has perfect pitch. She also has a vocal range of 5 octaves. That's a rare thing that deserves to be nurtured and explored. It's a gift from God that only few on this earth are given like Mariah Carey and Roy Orbison. It's such a crime that I can't get any help with this. This illness sucks the life out everyone it touches. It causes depression which kills creativity, improvisation, motivation, critical thinking and the list goes on. It shuts the door to opportunity and new experience. It's so disruptive to life for a young mind. Especially the kind of minds my kids have. They have my mind. My spirit. I'm a rare INFJ personality type. My kids have it too. I was in all of the advanced learning programs in school. I graduated from University before most graduate from college. I have trait agreeableness and openness that I think some people must see as some kind of a scam or a con. And it has been to my detriment in rescuing my kids from this. My mind won't let me move on knowing what my kids are being subjected to and knowing what they could be or could have been. I've been criticized for this endlessly by therapists. The standard therapist drivel on this subject is to move on. Form a new life. Forget the old life and everyone in it... including my kids. They say that the kids will just have to find come to the realization on their own what kind of person they mother is and have to find their way out of her life on their own. Well fuck those therapists and what they think because it's not their lives or their conscious or their kids ...it's all mine. And I doubt any one of them has ever been in any kind of similar situation and if they had I guarantee you they would not be able to give such CHICKENSHIT and useless advice. It's the equivalent of taking your kids to the zoo and having them all fall into the lions den and saying, "oh they will be fine, let them find their own way of it!" It's preposterous and stupid. Someone please give me a strategy so I may put some fear into my wife long enough to give her pause and give me the time and opportunity to speak to my kids and try to get them out. Because after 7 years of countless attempts I have not yet been successful. I haven't seen my little girls face or heard her voice in 7 years. She spent the entirety of her teens growing up without her father. Shes my baby girl. I spoiled her. I know she misses me as much as I miss her. She the most intelligent of them all in way that most people are not capable of understanding because everyone else is just wired differently. I know she is still waiting for me to show up one day to rescue her from her situation. I know it with all of my heart. And no one has been able to tell me anything helpful...just advised me to give up and walk AWAY from the most important person in my life. I cannot and will not ever do it. It's not physically possible for me. The sooner that someone understands that and stops giving useless advice and being critical of me and Embraces what I already know about myself and gives me some USEFUL information...the sooner I can rescue my baby girl and return to a life that is worth living...for her and me. I'm waiting.
Thank you for sharing your story, if you would like to speak about it in a broader forum, please email me at narcissisticabuseproject@gmail.com
@@LiseLeblanc OMG. I'll need to respond to you after I've collected myself. I'm so shocked and surprised that someone had the courage to reply to me that I'm shaking and sobbing uncontrollably with hope and gratitude that I may finally get some help, guidance or insight to what I've been dealing with for such a prolonged period. I don't want to scare you away with high expectations. So I will collect myself and contact you as soon as I am able.
You sound like a Narcissist.
My only option is into the freezing cold outside, apparently