Kickstarter Fails: THE RETURN
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- Опубліковано 29 сер 2024
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Get some Squarespace! squarespace.com/BLAZE
Ringing somthing is putting a boundry round it. There are many types of ring. Metal around your finger. Ect. Just we are used to a ring being round in the majority of our modern context.
For the longest time I thought squarespace was one of those companies that rent some space to put your old furniture. I skip most youtubers advertising segments.
I strongly suggest Squarespace to keep sending money to Simon so he can keep spreading the gospel.
Don't need a website but if I did I'd probably at least look into them as, like, an option.
Basically, I'm willing to concede* that they exist. :)
And that's all they're getting for now from *this* carbon-based lifeform :D
*reluctantly
Video idea bonbon land in Denmark
Does Squarespace let you set up RSS feeds?
Simon, I want a 24 hour blaze. With limited coffee and Magic Spoon breaks, of course. The Legendary Blaze. On 4/20/2069
i 2nd thst!!
I'm in too.
@@bayonnerenfest4607 sweet smart man my friend! 🤪
Nice
I'll be there. Got some home grown edibles, gluten free options available (shoutout to my neighbour).
"Simulate being a Pimp" - Says the guy who has a human work force locked in his basement working for profit... 🤔🤔😅
Allegedly.
The Chinese? Allegedly
Baseless lies and frivolous allegations! The muffled shouts you hear are coming from the infidels next door. There is most definitely nobody chained to the basement radiator, churning out scripts for a web series while yearning for the warm embrace of sunlight. I have absolutely no clue where you'd come to such a preposterous notion!
@@SkunkApe407 spread your propaganda all you want! When ETA returns... you will have to eat these words
@@nellom.8771 who Charles? Pfft. I have a 5G phone. He'll cower in fear at the awesome power I weild!
Simon - "Danny make it shorter!!!"
Also Simon - " Oooh a story, I like it when Danny starts with a story."
Also Simon: "...some sort of boxing ring? *goes off on tangent about boxing rings*"
Also Simon: *goes on 5 minute rambling digression during a 60 second ad read*
Was about to comment the same thing.
I found that hilarious 🤣 I also couldn’t decide whether he was being serious when he cleaned his glasses and wiped his head afterwards or if it was a joke to waste a bit of time because he was talking about it being so long. Either way it also had me chuckling.
Wouldnt want it any other way tbh
I love how this channel is 99% insiders yet Simon feels the need to explain the premise every time.
Thats what I love he keeps thinking about the newbies
Almost every time Simon asks a question like 'why is it called a boxing ring if they're square?' I know the answer because Simon told me in another video.
Simon keeps his Pimp Hand strong smacking these scripts.
You're funny 😅 lol
Early on in quarantine I ran across a tutorial for how to make a set of bagpipes out of trash bags, duct tape, and a couple of recorders. I have the bags and tape, but my kids have hidden their recorders from me. The world may never know what the result would have actually sounded like. Oh, hey, Simon could do a whole series of blazes on the most batshit crazy how-to videos/wikis.
You ever see the guy who makes ocarinas out of pumpkins? Go buy a pumpkin. Try it out.
Hmm trash bagpipes.....
@@MashMonster69 stitch some scrotums together with some vocal cords then you'll see real "bag pipes"
the "bullshit that no one needs" is completely why I'm here.
Aren’t we all?
The ‘Elmo watching a nuclear blast meme’ timing was supremely perfect. I chef’s kiss you, Sam
When the first ADHD moment is already at 0:20 you know you are in for a ride
As someone who also has adhd I greatly appreciate the moments where Simon goes off on a tangent and then forgets what he's talking about. Lol.
Have you seen the "adhd loading" merchandise?
@@archstanton6102 BB merch? I don't think I've seen it.
@@CherieH223 I keep planning to buy some but then I get distracted.
@@MrGrimsmith lmao. Same.
I honestly give props to how fast he finds his place again after rabbit holing, well baring the obvious cut instances.
Simon: "MAKE THE INTROS SHORTER!"
Also simon, after ten minutes of filler ranting: "Oh, I love it when he starts with a story!"
Too Late Simon, you said it. We need Whistler Gaming
+1 I need this!
Differently the next channel
You know you want to 😉
All he does is shit on raid shadow legends
I agreed we do
Sam using the Wayne Brady/Dave Chappelle skit proves what a LEGEND he is ❤
Good job Danny, keep up the excellent work punishing Simon's weak-ass legs 👍
Wait - are you Danny's Daddy?!?!
Glad to hear you've enjoyed the game!
I think he might... think it's like instinct for him, he probably can't stop himself XD
Meantime, I know another streamer who plays your game sometimes ;)
Gotta say beamng was a worthy investment all those years ago. A game changer in comparison to rigs of rods
Love me some Beamng! Bought it last year, and I lose days of time on the regular building racing trucks
I have had the game for almost a year now and I love how you guys do major improvements to the game regularly. It has gotten way better just in the short time I have owned it, my favorite car game by far.
I had no idea this even existed. Will be picking it up next payday.
Buy a bottle of Rotting Turtle (as long as it smells like one) and secretly use it to replace your ex's favorite cologne. Hilarity ensues.
Mate... Your name is fucking brilliant
@@OutlawMaxV Thanks! You're one of the very few who actually get it.🏆😁
"I don't know how any of this works" Business Blaze in a nutshell lololol
Do not dare stop adding your "bullshit". It's the best. :D
We’re mostly just here for the cocaine fueled “bullshit”... ALLEGEDLY
@@joseoropeza8894
His daddy chill rants are a huge factor of my addiction
@@joseoropeza8894 Indeed....allegedly.
Two things: first, we all love Danny’s ridiculously long intros. Secondly, Simon, if your legs get tired from ambling about while you scream and smack a stack of papers, you could use the “exercise”. Do you hold your kid, yeah? It’s good for you... And I say this as a huge fan.
Ad right in the middle of the piano crash. Thanks UA-cam. Brilliant as ever.
Install an ad blocking software. I never see ads in my UA-cam videos.
Get you tube red and stfu
I was shown an add for Netflix so it basically ended the piano crash footage with a big red N and the ta-dum sound
@@toddnolastname4485 was watching on TV. No ad block available sadly.
@@MissAtrobel youtube vanced and screen mirroring
Sam! That John Travolta insert.
Bravo, my dude. Bravo 👏👏👏
I made an alarm siren for a customer that sounded like a drunk bagpiper. He figured that while everyone ignores car alarms, a drunk piper is something else...
Isn't it a bit redundant stating that it's a DRUNK bagpiper?
@@craigbryant9925 Allegedly
Legend.
I really want to hear what that sounded like.
the reason why its called a boxing ring is actually left over from a time when fights would take place with the audience standing in a circle around the fighters to maximize viewing potential. back then there were no stages for the fighters to stand on.
We need, "I'm trapped in the Blazement", merch. Proceeds will go to Danny and Sam.
Tank top please, coffee mug also?
I used your Squarespace code and moved my business over to the platform. The set-up was easy, the 24/7 help is amazing. 👍
The stuttering kid meme gets me every freaking time! 😂
I just finished the Mary Bell episode on Casual Criminalist and now I'm watching Simon again but with more levity. He just never stops working.
I like how Danny has started putting a bonus entry in the intros to appease Simon who was saying both that they were too long but should include a story.
11/22/63
A Novel by Stephen King
Many of us King fans consider it to be among his greatest. I cried bitterly at the end. Bitterly.
Dancing is life.
Check out Joe hill, it was actually his idea to write the book. ( Stephen kings son ) he has some good books like horns and heart shaped box
@@MrDmadness no it wasn't. Read the afterword in the book. King states that it was one of the first books he ever started. Joe just pushed him to finish it. It was a 30+ year project.
@@robertdctrey ahh, my bad then its been quite a while since I read it and had mis remembered Joe's role in it
The past is obdurate.
And yes, Bravo Simon for reading this gem.
"I always wanted to simulate being a pimp"
You do enough slapping as is Simon
I like the longer videos. If its too short it just makes me have to find the next thing to listen to that much sooner and more often. Keep up the long scripts Danny!
Simon has his own version of Kickstarter. That's why Danny has been writing so many scripts lately. Slap the script, save the writer!
He should start a go fund me called help me get out of Simon's basement 🤣🤣
Danny is infatuated with Taco Bell while Simon is unable to think outside the bun
Simon loves KFC. He doesn't need buns or shells, just buckets.
Yeah Simon (Hail Hydra!!) loves him some KFC!!
@@ayaakovc There's nothing wrong with liking buckets of finger licking good chicken, but the bun is still there. At Taco Bell there is no bun
@Bartholomew Roberts I'm glad Simon pays tribute with those dark colored OGBB tshirts to Celine Dion's late husband, "Renee Agelil".
He probably tortures Danny, ETA and SAM, every time I make that joke. 😂😂😂
So when do we get that Raid live stream Simon? We havent forgotten!
Simon: "I want shorter scripts."
Also Simon: "Ooh I love it when Danny starts with a story!"
Simon: Why does Danny make these so long?!
Also Simon: oh! He is starting with a story. I love when Danny starts with a story.
The amount of money I would pay to see Simon get jump-scared in a horror game xD
#WhistlerGaming
Fucking jump scares. That shit is the worst.
@@brainblaze6526 which is why I'd pay to see it
@@brainblaze6526 Yeah, actual atmospheric horror is much better. Jumpscares are incredibly tiring, because they last a split second, while the good horror draws you in, and keeps you on edge for ages.
Business Blaze presents:
“Simon Whisler: Hipster Capitalist Pig”
A Netflix series now taking funding from Kickstarter. Allegedly.
It might be a pyramid scheme
Simon making fun of shoehorns reminded me that I have never seen one outside of the one I use for my cleats. Kinda weird actually, I find it quite useful for that, since most soccer cleats (I'm American, I've always called it soccer and always will, get over it) are made pretty small for the size.
“Summer is here.” Technically. But it snowed here last night and it didn’t melt this morning.
Ah! I should have read further down before making my comment. I can sympathize on your current snow woes!
@@alexandralongacre6797 ty
"Boxing rings" are named as such as they were originally not much more than a circle marked on the ground for two fighters to compete within. Also im 60 seconds in to this video and it's already made my day better. Blaze it
Then explain, "Squarespace" Mr. Smartypants! 😅😅
*watches unrelated video*
UA-cam "new business blaze"
*switches to big brain fact boyyyyy*
no one in the store next door:
No one on the streets of Prague
Simon: ANALYTICS!
Fact Boi getting fact checked! He has 12 channels
Two of them belong to ETA. #FreeETA.
13 I believe if you also include the Simon Whistler pod cast.
I love the rambling, it is why I watch this channel. If I wanted just the facts I would just watch your ather channels(though I do watch those as well.)
boxing rings use to be round. they kept the term even after switching to a square. sometimes also referred to as the squared circle. i learned this today. also that ive been calling it a boxing rink all my life like a moron..
You could've just been in Canada. Boxing rink makes sense up here.
To be fair here, boxing would be 500% better if it was a rink
Very sure this was covered on Today I found out.
21:05 Simon, please make this a shirt.
"...because if there's anything more than hipster, I'm a capitalist." - Simon 2021
Memes are on point in this one, Sam deserves another sausage
Finding this channel has been my best accident ever! 😳🤓
@Crystal Matlock In the case of Business Blaze I don’t believe there were any accidents. Everyone in this marvy, hysterical group was MEANT to be here.
Don't drink the kool-aid!
FREE DANNY AND SAM
DOWN WITH THE BEARD!
@@nellom.8771 Heresy!
@@nellom.8771 have you seen Simon without a beard? Check out Top Tens from 5 years ago or so if you want to see beardless Simon. He looks like young Mr. Clean, if Mr. Clean was dying. You don't really want him to lose the beard.
@@fatalgravity DRONE!
Great script Danny, love the memology Sam, Simon you have pretty eyes behind the frames.
So...yea.
Are you referring to those soulless lumps of coal?
Sam's editing was especially (simons exaggerated chefs kiss) in this video!
Simon: It's called boxing ring because back in the day they would draw a circle on the ground to mark the space for the match.
I know that because I google stuff the old fashioned way instead of shouting at my phone. But please keep doing that, cause it's quite funny 😉
16:07 you'd be surprised Simon, BeamNG is still quite popular today within the Automotive gaming community. It still receives regular updates. An example of the community would be the FailRace UA-cam channel, he does a weekly series called Driven till Destruction on Beam which you may like.
We demand whistler gaming!!
12:30 My brother is an engineer and has a 3D printer: do you actually want a phone case shoehorn?
I absolutely love that these arent 5 minutes long!
"11/22/63" (North American title) is one of my favourite books of all time. Highly recommended!
I loved it too, but my favorite one from King is The Stand
Yesssss!
When the ADHD starts in the intro ad read
Absolutely love the conclusion of "look at this shirt. It's my shirt. You can't have it. Too bad."
Anyone else try and predict which of Simon's crazy rants will make the end clip?
this is the earliest ive ever been to a blaze. what a great way to put off finals. bless you, fact boy
19:13 It seems like Simon is a professional in it. :)
"Is Wayne Brady going to have to choke a b*tch?" My favorite sketch from The Dave Chappelle Show; it still makes me laugh to this day! 😂
As we all know, only picnic blankets can protect you from nuclear weapons
Simon, I believe you were thinking of PimpStarter. The crowdfunded system for aspiring new pimps and brothels.
Ahh yes, PimpStarter.
So. I love Steven King. And JFK stuff. And time travel. And yes it was aliens....As soon as you mentioned the book and the show...I googled it..bought the book and set up time to watch the mini series. So thank you Simon for being the best Business Blazer Tangent Talker ever! And thank you Danny for your magic writing that made this happen!!
I think 'Pimp Simulator' was shown on MXR Plays. I could be wrong though.
That being said, it just sounds like an economy simulator, where you win when you have more money and territory than your IRL or NPC enemies.
Edit: I was wrong I WASNOH SO WRONG! At least my idea sounds interesting.
The first 40 seconds already have that great coked up feel I've come to require of Simon Whistler's content.
I love your rambling introductions. Please keep doing so!
@April Kurtz Simon has no choice in the matter. He has no control over his awesome ramblings and of course he has to take a couple of minutes to bitch out Danny for his part in the long intros. We know Simon jests as he loves them and Danny. I love bromances.
I am the stone that skips across the water that is Simon Whistler's channels. Seriously this is the 3rd video in an hour 🤣 I dont have a problem
I'm right there with you buddy. Lol
Nice use of FOMO there Simon, I want that shirt so much right now 😂😂
As a BB OG I declare that we do require the bullshit and waffling .
Indeed
What Simon adds to the script is the essence of business blaze
That sweet, sweet, rotting turtle essence
Whistler Gaming brought to you by Raid: Shadow Legends™
I invented a concept 20 years ago for something called the "Yoko Ono Theft-Deterrent System."
Instead of sounding like a pissed-off R2D2 when somebody tries to jack your car in the middle of the night, it would release the screams of Yoko Ono... which I'm pretty sure would render the car thief incapacitated, inducing perhaps a heart-attack or paralysis from shock and fear.
Either way, your car isn't stolen, and if the carjacker dies, it saves the government a ton of money on housing criminals.
It could be considered a public service even.
She never replied to my proposal.
I'm Launching a kicking Starter for ADHD enhancement medicine, it will just be black coffee and sugar but still it'll help Simon making the Blaze
It already exits, it's called speed
As a student I bought Gurosan at my local pharmacy, vit C+ guarana+ insane amounts of caffeine.
It was supposed to help you... study! (Actually, not to sleep so you could go on studying all night)🙃
Thanks for the book suggestion, Si-Guy! I shall add it to my reading list (which just keeps growing) *sigh* Sounds right up my alley though.
I’ve got an idea: have Danny include an indicator for a good place for an ad
We all love Danny’s stories! 🥰
God-or whatever higher power you’re into or not into-bless Danny the AA, amazing author, with a fascinating past, Sam the meme PRINCE, and Simon, reader extraordinaire. My life is so much better with these three men in it even if just on YT. YES two are (allegedly) imprisoned in the basement chained to rads living off mushrooms growing in the moisture down there and Silver Spoon Cereal but who could asK for a better life, I MEAN, they get to hang with Simon, their jailer. Damn life is fucking unfair.
Dear God man...
damn Simon, I cannot imagine how disastrous it would be were you to see a Squirrel! Tangent-Man
It's also called the square circle...no idea why all that started
In Business Blaze, you have the same manic energy as the 11th Doctor, and on your other channels you have the same calm, aged energy as the 11th Doctor . . . and I love it.
Simon, where is our RAID: Shadow Legends Live stream bruv?
he's too busy pilfering other internet scams, like squarespace
"The past was the worst" is also a quote from the movie Synchronic about time travel with Anthony Mackie.. It's a really great movie.
11/10 for pure blaze!
Keep up the good work fellas and stay safe.
Your Sir, and the rest of the team are F#$%ing brilliant, thanks for ALL of your content across your channels :)
Me: Damn I've watched all my new UA-cam videos already
Simon: No you haven't.
Same
I remember some things from the 50's, air raid sirens once a month. Fear of WWIII while living in a major target, Long Beach, when the Navy still had a lot of ships there. Not to mention the aerospace industry had not yet been raided by Congress.
And those films we kids got to see about how we should duck under our desks. Along with films of water 'bursts', the euphemism for setting off a hydrogen bomb in the harbor to shower all of Southern California with radioactive water. It was a lovely time to be a kid.
"3 million for a single room apartment in vancouver" isn't even a joke.
it's just stating a fact.
You built up the sound of the grand piano so much, I was so excited - and at 24:21 I got an inline advert! NOOO!!!
Yep same here a stupid star treck ad!
I think everyone gets an advertisement at 24:21
24:20: piano starts to drop
24:21: ad for Hulu
UA-cam is an evil drunk
I could watch Simon 24/7. Business Blaze and all the other channels too. He’s great.
Can you do a video about things more useless than the notification button on UA-cam???
Pretty short video
@@MashMonster69 Isn't that the truth. Now that you said that I'm hard pressed to think of something.
Turn signals on a BMW?
The book Simon is talking about is 11/22/63. It's an incredible book and one of King's best.
I had a friend that raised $4M+ on a kickstarter in which he had absolutely no idea how he would build it. To raise money to continue the designing he had to open a store page for people to buy into the project after the kickstarter ended, as well as take investment from external investors. From the last time I checked in on it he still never shipped a working device after 5 years of stringing along kickstarter investors.
What was the idea?
Simon has a channel called Business Blaze. He then proceeds to upload videos on 4/19 and 4/21... But not 4/20. COME ON MATE! I dont even smoke and I'm disappointed! We missed out on an episode about the crazy adventures of blazing Florida man or w/e! lol
Good job everyone. Simon, Danny, Meme wizard!