Moving On When Your Marriage Doesn’t | Therapy & Theology
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- Опубліковано 4 чер 2024
- How do I navigate the grief my family is facing after a divorce? How do I know if I’m ready to move on?
Join Lysa TerKeurst; Licensed Professional Counselor Jim Cress; and Proverbs 31 Ministries' Director of Theological Research, Dr. Joel Muddamalle, for conversations about how to keep moving forward in a healthy way when relationships in your life are unraveling.
Helpful links from Lysa TerKeurst and the Proverbs 31 Team:
- Download the FREE Listener Guide for this Therapy & Theology video here:
proverbs31.org/read/resource-...
- Get your copy of Lysa TerKeurst’s book “Good Boundaries and Goodbyes” here:
www.p31bookstore.com/collecti...
P.S. Looking for something specific? Fast-forward this video using the minute markers below!
0:00 Intro
1:12 Does God hate divorce?
8:41 Lived-in theology
15:00 Adultery, abandonment, abuse
18:39 How do I heal after a divorce?
22:07 Grief after divorce
29:40 What does the Bible say about remarriage?
39:09 How do I know when I am healed?
Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances. www.aacc.net/
#movingonwhenyourmarriagedoesnt #therapyandtheology #therapy&theology #therapy #theology #lysaterkeurst #proverbs31 #proverbs31ministries #emotionalabuse #mentalhealth
Hello there, New viewer here. I am so glad I found your channel. My husband just divorced me after 35 yrs. & I have been struggling with Divorce because of my Beliefs. I Thank you so much for your research & sharing your guidance. My husband made me believe all of it was my fault but your show opened my EYES!!! God Bless!!!
My heart breaks for you. This too shall pass! I'm going through a divorce right now and my husband has made me feel the same way but actually he failed to love me. We both played a role in our dysfunction. The difference is I wanted to make it work and he gave up. But I'm learning to accept it and learn more about myself. God bless ❤
@@berlizgonzalez6736 DITTO :(.
May the Lord bless you and heal your heart in Jesus name amen
Prayers for you. My ex narcissistic husband walked out on me after 26 years and wouldn’t stay in counseling. After allowing him back home nothing changed and he let me know he didn’t want the marriage any longer. So it ended. God be with you. Don’t feel so bad. God sees all.
Im currently going through that. So painful.
Thank you for this. I have been struggling tremendously. My husband left me on Christmas due to his drug use, didn’t talk to me for weeks until he needed money. My “friends” told me I didn’t have any biblical ground for divorce and said if I did get a divorce I couldn’t be in ministry or get remarried. Broke my heart into even more pieces. 2023 was a year from hell because of his addiction. I have been listening to this everyday to help me move forward with this divorce.
I am sitting in a situation where my husband has an emotional affair to the extend that her needs comes before mine😢. We are separated but he still lives at home, sleeping in the lounge. 2023 since November I also went through tremendous agony and drew closer to God, He alone kept me sane.
This episode is saving lives. After 3 years of separation I suffered through emotional and verbal abuse because I felt soo guilty to give up. I filed finally today. I wish our church studied this deep into the hebrew wording or that text. Thank you Lysa .
God be with you and hold you up. God does not endorse the mistreatment of his children, even in marriage. I just left a marriage over the last year and it’s challenging but God is faithful. The process changes you, but trusting in Him the change is more into His Image.
🙏🏾
@@ThingsILike12 pain does certainly change you .So many times I believed I was supposed to suffer and to take abuse to look more like Jesus. So much misconception can be taken with the title " marriage is a covenant not a contract" it CAN keep u bound to the enemies prison . NOW I just learned the Lord was teaching me where I had some healing to do. My weak spots. BUT Gods word has taught us that he gives us the power to trample on serpents and scorpions. We naturally let our guard down with our " believer " spouse. Thinking we are safe. Which we should be. But none of us are exempt from the sneaky ways of the enemy to kill steal and destroy. We all will think we are wise in our own eyes but Gods word says " perfect Love drives out All fear". I realized we BOTH were operating and arguing out of fear. He wanted to control with bully tactics to feel safe and I wanted to feel in control with a victim mentality. Glad there is a part 2 they are doing on this subject. Praise God for Revelation and his unfailing word. Alot of scripture along with self reflection is needed to be talked about in these times we are living in.
Am still scared to file. But I need to do this week.
Definitely understand. I truly get it and wishing you all the best and healing and wholeness. ❤ 🙏🏽
I learned a long time ago to enjoy my own company - healing process must begin there...
I have been in this horrible marriage for 34 years because I believed that the only reason God allowed divorce was due to infedelity. 😢 Thank you for this session.
I totally understand this. Ditto for me.❤
i have been in my HORRIFIC marriage, Next Nov, will be FOURTY years….Since covid, ive discovered the REAL person that he is. Before covid he extensively traveled, and Id be left to make household decisions, fend for myself, etc. But im also chronically ill. His true colors have shown as he refuses my needs, thus launching smear campaign’s on me to justify his neglect…he is Emotionally psychologically abusing me and so like I said since Covid he’s been behaving like a person I don’t even know he’s either got dementia and it’s totally changing his personality or he’s being led by some demonic spirit and I mean this literally I don’t mean this like I’m trying to call names or insult him or make him out to be a bad person it’s like the way he’s behaving is just beyond my comprehension how could he be treating me the way he does ….And honestly I need help I need support physically and emotionally and I can’t even tell him that without him getting extremely offended because he says you know that’s whoa is me right he becomes as a victim and I’m like oh my gosh I’m just telling you what I need and then it becomes oh you don’t care about me when I need his words salads in his circular arguments oh my gosh I just can’t take this anymore I am every day I pray to the Lord to take me home to heaven where I belong I don’t belong here
34 years of secrets, lies, abandonment, talk of divorce and now I'm enduring religious abuse and more abandonment from friends/family/pastors - their well-intentioned advice is like layers of toxic, heavy lava smothering what little life is left in me ... and to date is THE worst, gut-wrenching experience besides finding out the double life my husband has lived.
Lysa, Jim and Joel, I cannot thank you enough for bringing these topics to light where God can do HIS healing in me. Through your podcasts, I feel like I can see a Promised Land. I am finding the courage to walk into my healing. Keep going, you are making a difference in the church!
I'm so deeply grateful. Shalom
Thanks for watching, Lisa!
Bless you, my friend ~ your story sounds like my own.
Thank you, Lisa!❤
I’m so sorry for your experience of rejection! Elevation Church online was a huge help to me. As well as Lysa! It does get better. A new beginning but the ending hurts!❤️❤️🩹
Get yourself a new family of God who doesn't judge, don't let your faith in Jesus dwindle. They should walk a mile in our shoes.
Currently going through divorce and this video speaks to my heart so much. It was never my desire to go through this, even after he committed adultery I was willing to work on us and the marriage. But he chose her over me and our two young children. My heart hurts still but God is good, even in the valley.
Amen.
God bless you and your little children. God will lead the way. Hope you are staying strong and although you'll have bad days know that God is by your side and will get you through it. 🙏🏼
❤❤❤
Right there with you. But as a man. :(
My Christian husband divorced me over 30 years ago to find better sex. As I've gotten older I've run out of close friendships, and now I'm feeling so out of touch with life. I really want to be in an intimate forever relationship, but there are no candidates for that either. If I were to find one, how could I have him vetted without having friends for him to meet?
As a divorced woman I think part of the healing is acceptance of the reality or situation.
Thank you for this; it has helped me with some of the “guilt of divorce” and sure others too. At age 60 after 36 years of marriage, I was presented with divorce papers and obviously stunned. Yet a year later as I’m now healing and choosing to move across the country to be close to family and live alone, I see how God has been protecting/ guiding me all along. I know God has a plan for me as He has for you; He will never leave me. Thank you for your work.
I could have written your exact post. I’m same age, move across the country, etc.. you’re not alone. I’m walking this same road with you at the same time. I pray for peace and healing for us both 🥺❤️🩹
Blessings 🙌🏽
I'm 57 .32 yrs of marriage. I've stayed but over the years I have many nights of crying myself to sleep. I've always been the one to apologize 1st. I've always said I love you first , then my husband says it on reprat(even after intamacy) we have 3kids 2 grandkids & my husband has always treated our son hard. Now our son in his late 20's STILL is trying to have a relationship w. Dad but my husband just argues about everything & my son now stands up But I can't stand how my husband treats him(husband outloud to us will say. Go run to mommy..,so degrading. & has said if you weren't my wife I wouldn't choose you as a friend, told my son the same)My husband got a large sum inheretance & has NOT discussed the amount after 2 yrs or where the $ is(I know though the amount but he keeps it to himself because he knows if I leave, non is shared w. Me. He's putting $ in stocks WHEN in our marriage previous, this was an area of a lie, 15 yrs ago he put $ in and I kept saying take the $ out. We don't have $ to loose. We'll he lied & we lost it in the stock drop. And I know he's putting it in again.yes I have my faults & I give the silent treatment ..but I can't handle how my kids are treated. Even though they are adults.Our 26 yr.old daughter says Mom. Dad is not an example of a man I'd marry. Yes. We are Christians and go to church(I grew up in a VERY conservstive Christian home,graduated from a christian college) we attend church i'm involved, he goes but doesnt get involved. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope w.all the arguing,nothing we enjoy togather. I'm ready to leave I'm Just tired.
@@Smag-wm4bx I’m so sorry you are having such a difficult time in your marriage. Praying now for you and mine own marriage. I need a miracle myself. I trust the Lord to move in our circumstances. Hugs. 🌸
Dr. Joel is such an addition to this program. Love his contributions!!!
Thank you for clarifying, I have allowed myself to be held captive with the understanding divorce is not allowed. My husband is a minister/ narcissist, he uses the Bible/ scripture as a weapon to keep me in this marriage. The lies, gaslighting, manipulation, has been consistent for 4 years. I believe there is healing for me. I have detached myself from this marriage,
Because I know that he will not take responsibility for anything that brought this marriage to a place of destruction.
We are God's daughters, Tina. The Lord does not want this for your life any longer.
Sorry
@@allisonb.8492 thank you. I also need healing, because I am codependent and get myself into relationships for all the wrong reasons
Man you just literally described my whole life but mines not a minister. It’s really a journey a hard journey everyday feel like i take 2 steps forward and 2 steps backs.
@@helen9412 I’m sorry to hear about that. 😢. We are not to blame, we have unhealed trauma that directed our decisions. I feel the same way, two steps forward and two steps back. I don’t live with him, but just the thought of him or his presence is what triggers me. That’s not a good feeling, I understand you. We have to learn how love ourselves, heal our childhood trauma, reparent ourselves, and turn to God everyday and thanks him for healing, he is the Lord of all healing.
I’m feeling so validated after watching this. Thank you for allowing God to use you.
I'm so glad!
Oh taste and see that the Lord is good. I was so desperate in need of a conversation like this, so I would know, I'm not the crazy one. And Abba sent you Lisa across my feed. I've been around some form of recovery almost my whole life. Mental Health has been my circle since 16 years of age and now 66 years old. Lisa you are so blessed to have these 2 beautiful men in your life. Thank you all so much. I will continue to be bold and loving liken unto a Lion and a Lamb. Being single doesn't allow for a male and female relationship, at least in the last 23 years it hasn't happened for me...Females quite complicated but loving once you understand the spirit of that person and keep healthy boundaries. Blessings
Wow such an eye opener 👏 conversations, we usually stay too long, so comes alot of grief and regrets 💔, and also how to exit in a toxic relationship, thinking about one's stability and how to navigate through, when we leave, but the truth of the matter is there is no formula in leaving a bad or unhealthy marriage, reach out to family and loved ones and God will surely make a way, where there seems to be no way.
So very true.......🙌🏽👏🏼👌🏼
Amen.
Praise God for this teaching. Yes I stayed too long with that teaching divorce is not an option! Too many affairs so I finally filed and going through divorce! What freedom you are helping us get to!!!!
WOW I just found this thank you. My husband and I have been separated for 4 years. He has filed for divorce but has been sitting on it and not moving forward. I was a homemaker for 15 years. I don't know what to do. We both have faults and God was not our foundation.. we have two teenagers who live with him. I took these 5 years to heal emotionally mentally physically and most importantly SPIRITUALLY!! I fell in Love with Jesus.. I am all in for my Lord and Savior ❤️ I am now a true follow of our Lord Jesus Christ... My children are actively and loving the church they attend with me on Wednesdays. Glory to God!! My son just went through deliverance on Monday after I took him and his sister to see . He is 16 she is 14 . There was lots of abuse emotional verbal ECT... He still is very prideful and will not take responsibility for is wrongful doings. I have taken full responsibility for my own actions. He says he forgives me but blames me because I got an injection against him. I had to, to save my life he is in total denial.. I have released him and broke the soul tie between us. Now it is between him and God. I truly want the Lord to heal his heart.. We fall under everyone of the broken 💔 covenants of Marriage. What do I do?? I am completely healed emotionally mentally physically I am healthy !! I have a wonderful church family and I am living out my true calling and finding who I am in Christ Jesus!!! How long am I supposed to wait is he going to ever repent and want healing??? That's what I am praying for Not for me or us but for my husband's spiritual freedom!!!!
I have done the work!! All of it!!! I do want love again one day. A Godly Man who loves Jesus !!! But as for now I'm with Jesus and he makes me whole!!!!
Grief for the death 💔of a dream of what we were both hoping for; at the wedding decades ago.
Seeing glimpses of gratitude and grace, as the Lord heals my family’s losses. 🕊
Father God is soooo Faithful & True. Working diligently to heal my own picker or attachment styles and to truly know my own heart and blind spots.
Praying always… 🙏🏻
Stayed too long, God doesn’t hate me, validated… free in Christ!🙏
Y'all 3 are absolutley amazing. Best show ever. Your topics are so relevant to today's world and every episode speaks directly to my heart :(. I am currently getting out of a 21 year toxic marriage. And honestly, I never even realized it was toxic until alcoholism came into the picture about 6 yrs ago....and it has all gone downhill from there. Thank you for this gift you provided through your pain. I look forward to each episode, as through God you have been my guiding light, 🥲Lysa. Much love from Alabama.
Thank you for watching!
Thank you so much for these Lessons. I am going through a divorce now and I appreciate the sound biblical teaching to help me to heal and gets through this horrible trial. Thank you Lisa for being so open and sharing. You are helping so many of us. Praying your dating season goes well and God blesses you with a man who Loves God first and loves you like Christ loves the Church. I hope to find the same in the future as well. Be blessed. ❤
Thank you for watching!
My dear, so sorry you are going through such a process. Women always dream about a beautiful home and never a second thought of divorce. I don't know how deep the wound is; rest assured, God will see you through. Only let God take over the pain. Shalom
@@destiny54ablaze27 Thank you Destiny for your kind words. May God Bless you and keep you!
@@AmmyC88 Amen. Hello Ama, a prayer for you. Heavenly Father, the strength to the weak, the defender of the defenseless, come into this situation. Where Ama was wrong - forgive, where she made an error - bring correction, where she needs light, show her. Dear Lord this stage will not give you glory. Heal her broken heart. Dear Lord, give her a support system, IJN
@@destiny54ablaze27 thank you for your prayers 🙏🏽. Praying my husband will be saved and if God wills it so will our marriage.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
@@DavidVelasquez9 Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
@@DailamiPuang Her name is Sylvia Regina White, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
@@DavidVelasquez9 Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Johnson. We're saddened to hear of your heartbreak, and are praying for you! Hi, friend. We do want to point you to resources that can help, including Christian counseling. Learn more here: proverbs31.org/about/counseling-support
The part about celebrating and getting to know yourself is so important. I went to Barbados to celebrate my 60th on my own. God provided everything I needed, and He took me on another part of my healing journey. He is a good, good Father.
Loved this!
I woke up to an answer to a prayer through this message, thank you all. What a blessing
Thanks for watching!
Thank you with my whole heart! This helps infinitely. I was counseled to expect about a year of healing for every 5 years in the marriage. It’s been fairly accurate for me, although I realize it’s not meant to be set as the standard for everybody. Saying a prayer for everyone here to find true peace and power through our Lord and Savior, who protects and saves the humble. All glory to Him for continued hope and healing.
Thank you so much for this series. My situation is quite similar to Lysa's...after 30 years of marriage at the age of 52, I am now divorced. Not what I wanted, but after finding his emails to other women, there was no repentance, no interest in change, he left the church...there was no other option - The emotional, mental and physical abandonment that I had felt for years was now complete. My parent's in-law sent me a letter about how much I had sinned, and needed to repent and of course, quoted Malachi - having no idea of what happened or where I was at. I am so incredibly thankful for the support and counselling I received from my church pastors and staff. These sessions are spot on!
Again, another practical episode full of understanding the true heart of the Father toward His daughters. And the protection He placed for us in marriage. Thank you so much.
Thanks for watching!
Thank yall for this! Im getting ready to file for a divorce after holding on for years. My husband is an alcoholic, emotionally, verbal abusive,& doesn't believe in God. He tries to pull me away from Christ. I thought if i tried hard enough that i could lead him to Christ but i cant let him pull me down with him any longer. 😢
Praying for you today, friend!
Keeping you in my prayers. Going through the exact same...😢
🙏 Going through same. Made the call to an attorney today after 38 years of marriage. Can’t take it anymore. Silent treatment for months. Doing his own thing. Sad and Praying for years. Now is the time.
Same here… I’m so exhausted of it all.
I too am so grateful I came across therapy and theology!! I was listening to this particular one while I was driving today and almost had to pull over because the tears. I'm so grateful you said what you did about addiction and how it affects our marriages. That's what I'm going through right now for the third time. Let's just suffice it to say I am exhausted and I don't know if this battle is worth it anymore. I will continue to listen to you three. I learned so much today like you said. Lisa, you give us a lot to think about! 🙏🏻🙏🏼🙏🏻
We're so glad you found this video helpful, Susan!
weird how i relate to what she is saying regarding her experiences. The devil is a master of self-blame, have women ignore all the hurtful things that GOD DID NOT CREATE US TO ENDURE, ESPECIALLY NOT IN MARRIAGE and stay until we are worn out emotionally and suicidal
Amen!!!
I ended my 26-year marriage after a devastating season and after getting sound Christian counseling. Four plus years later, I am living a life dependent on God, not man. He shows his goodness to me day after day.
So glad to have found this.
Thank you. The affirmation from the Lord through this very real conversation is a gift to any believer broken through marriage needing His healing watering that produces His peace. Needed.
This blessing was right on time! God is so good!
This is incredible information!! When you are going thru verbal and emotional abuse, there are so many conflicting ideas throw at you from everyone. This absolutely clears up so much. Thank you so so much!!
Thanks for watching!
Thank you for sharing your experiences, pain and healing to help educate us. I stayed almost 30 years. I didn’t know what was happening in my marriage until the past few years. It took me 4 more years to get out. Mostly because of God hates divorce. I’m finally learning God loves me more than he loved my marriage.
This is so good and helpful.
I love this so much. So much confirmation 🥺😍 thank you for sharing this!
This is so good Lisa. Thank you. I can relate to you and this video on so many levels.
Oh my goodness!! I have always loved your work Lysa.... BUT THIS.... minute mark 27!!! Thank you Thank you Thank you!
Thank you for this video, so many people just don’t understand
Thank you for this episode. It is very helpful ❤
Thank you. 7 years since I caught my ex cheating and then him turning on me... trying to please God through it had been confusing. This has brought me a lot of clarity ✝️💕🌻
Yes I grateful for this podcast continue to listen!!
Great conversation - asked exactly the questions I was thinking about.
I just stumbled upon your channel, what a blessing! You have answered so many questions and reinforced my understanding and belief in the Word. I was married to a narcissist for 27 years, I stayed because like Lysa I did not want to be a divorced woman. Now I have no desire to ever marry again because my faith in Christ has grown so much!
I am listening for the first time. Enjoying very much. I am the wife of the man pictured.
You are so blessed to be able to afford counsel and have Jim as a counselor. Not everyone has the finances.
Hi friend! Here are some resources to help you find affordable counseling: proverbs31.org/about/counseling-support
Some of us have been in counseling for years and going through the dark nights of grief for so long, I can imagine it would be so wonderful to have someone. I don’t mean jump in and run off n get married.
Thanks for that Jim. “I grieve but not as those who have no hope”. I am in post marriage regret headed through the divorce process.
Thanks Lysa for sharing your grief process. Only 10 months in and it feels like this will take forever. And at this stage I do not trust myself to EVER date again.
Thanks Joel for your Old Testament exposition. I needed to hear that God instituted financial penalties for marital unfaithfulness. Not a command but an allowance for remarriage. Very Biblically sound.
So grateful for this information.
We're glad this was helpful!
Powerful message!
Please pray for me and my children as we go thru a season of hardship bc of marital problems. Pray that they would be protected from all attacks from the enemy!
Praying for you, friend!
I thank the Lord for the wisdom that I have heard. I have cried out for help.
Thank you for watching, friend!
Im on the working on me stage. The destructive marriage of 25 years that I'm still in is trying to steal kill & destroy me. Im focused on getting myself better & in my kids. I leave my husband in the Lords hands.
Thank you so much for making these videos! Such a blessing 🙏🏻🙌🏻
We're glad you like them!
I can watch you 3 everyday. You bring so much to these videos. God bless you 3.
Thank you!
Thanks alot for this explanation about divorce where certificates are to be issued. The whole talk is just awesome.
just a beautiful conversation, as I am listening I am so encouraged at the wisdom, sensitivity and relevance to this very challenging topic. It is like water to my soul, refreshing!
This has truly blessed me, I thank God for you all!🥲❤
Thanks for watching!
Thank you for shedding light on such challenging experiences so many are struggling through. Lisa, there is such a huge need for being able to understand what you have worked so hard to learn. You are a gifted teacher and what you are sharing is such a gift. Thank you for taking the lead on clearing away the misunderstandings that keep so many bound down and suffering. I really appreciated how each insight by Joel, Jim, and Lisa were expressed fully. Nothing felt incomplete or unfinished. You guys are a great team!
We're so glad you enjoyed it!
New subscriber here. I’m a Christian woman in an abusive marriage with lots of infidelity issues over the past 15 years and I’m struggling with the idea of filing for divorce. Thank you so much for helping me with these videos. God bless I only wish I could meet and talk to Lisa! Please 🙏 lol I feel called to write a book also ❤
Excellent teaching.. Going thru it is rough tho.
My husband used to say that the only people who hate divorce as much as God are divorced people.
Thank you so much Lysa, Joel and Jim. This program has been so helpful to me, yall are truly opening my eyes to so much truth, and giving me hope. Thanks again, I love you all and love that you share this with all of us!!!! God bless you!!
Thanks for watching!
Wonderful podcast. I so needed to hear I can just be alone with myself before moving on with another relationship. I'm 53 and have a similar type of ending to my marriage of 25 years.
Decoupling is a long and painful process. It takes years to realize and accept that you are not together and will not be together.
So so so helpful!! Thank you all! Lysa- I am sorry for your pain- but know that God is using you and your message for a great purpose!! You have no idea how much I needed this message!! Just about every single word. Bless you all!❤
We're so glad this was helpful!
Thank You for all this information!!! I have passed it along to our Bible Study group and family members. So very helpful ❤
We're so glad you enjoyed it!
I was so sorry to hear about your divorce but love finding out now how you are moving on as a healed and whole person. Lisa, you need to write another book about this experience.
This is one of the best things I’ve seen to help with post divorce emotions!❤
Thanks for watching, Debbie!
Thank you so much for doing this podcast! This episode, in particular, is incredibly LIFE GIVING to me at a much needed time in my life. May God continue to bless your ministry. ♥️
We're glad you enjoyed it!
I can’t find the words to thank you enough for your wisdom. I feel this message has helped me so much. Thank you…Thank you …Thank you 🙏🙏
We're so glad this was helpful!
I’m glad I came across this video. My divorce isn’t complete and people have suggested I date. I know I’m not ready and getting into a new relationship doesn’t make it happen sooner. Now I understand and I’m ok with waiting even after it is officially over.
Looking back, I should have never remarried, I didn’t allow God to completely heal my hurt. I was lonely..
Thank you for this. The information provided from diving deep into Scriptures sheds light on a very difficult subject. All the contributions from each presenter is invaluable. It is clear how much you all respect one another, and makes watching a pleasure.
Glad it was helpful!
Incredible message. Yes let God make us whole and ready to trust our future to Him. I'm so thankful so much great information for folks who need hope and encouragement and truth. How blessed we are. Lisa you are a great example of using your heartbreak for helping others find hope. God bless each of you!
We're so glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you, thank you! Thank you for taking on this oh so important topic! I've been told porn and deceit is not a biblical reason to divorce and been shunned for separating. I've been told by others to divorce but not remarry. The opinions abound. I've studied this and have landed exactly where you have. David Dykstra, on Sermon Audio, has a series of 5 or 6 sermons on Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible from the OT to the NT. His teaching is spot on as is yours here. So many are being bound by the opinions of others that are based on one verse theology. Thank you for teaching this as a whole doctrine.
Oh yeah. I was told those same things. I will tell ya the Lord is so good because he showed me since I had been married before this 22 yr marriage I'm in now the Lord showed me that since we are new creations and we've died and been resurrected with Jesus Christ then we've died to that part of the law that says, A woman is bound to her husband as long as she lives. We are called to peace. We should do everything the Lord tells us to do because only the Lord knows if a man will change. My first husband was an abusive alcoholic that threatened to kill me. I got out. I am healed because of that word God showed me.
Amazing. Thank you so much
We're so glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you for this conversation! 4 years out of an abusive marriage after 10 years…and I wish I had this advice and knowledge 4 years ago! This is so healing to me, thank you!
We're glad you enjoyed it!
This is such a wonderful platform, thank you for your teaching. As I was following through the conversation, I noticed this, Paul indicates if the woman’s husband dies and not necessarily divorce,
“A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.”
1 Corinthians 7:39 NIV
“A wife is bound [to her husband by law] as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wishes, only [provided that he too is] in the Lord.”
1 Corinthians 7:39 AMP
“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.”
1 Corinthians 7:39 KJV
Thank you ❤
So good.
Hello, I am a new viewer. I have been seperated (not divorced) from my husband 2 years ago. I just recently found out he has been in a full blown intimate relationship with someone we both know and went to church with. I came across this episode and it really touched my heart.
We're so sorry to hear this, Lorraine! We're praying for you today.
Oh dear! Take heart. Allow the Lord to help you handle this matter if not you may produce more problems than solutions. We are living in a broken world; thank God for Jesus who is there to put the pieces together for us. Shalom
Hey !! I speak Telugu too…thank you for talking about this subject. God definitely lead me here…
😭😭 I feel like the Lord have just set me free! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 May the Lord bless you!! ❤❤
We're so glad! Thanks for watching!
Excellent, solid confirmation and clarify that helps with the depths of my own questions about marriage. And Healing versus healed very good. Truly our journey is about continually looking toward Jesus and to become more Christ like. Imperfect, broken people will always be healing. And stay awake and aware and spiritual conscious. You three have given me insight and great clarity. Thank you!!!
Thanks for watching!
I'm sure many women don't want to divorce because men sometimes remarry easily after divorce, but the statistics are much lower for women over a certain age.
I can’t even leave my house because of the anxiety and depression surrounding my impending divorce. He sheltered me, but now I think it was just control?
I don’t know what my life/identity will look like~ as I worked for him, and we went to church together and he has taken all my support people. (Even a long time pastor who was a rock has now invited my husband to be on their teaching staff.)
Thank you for your channel. I feel lost.
🙏
Hi, friend. We're saddened to hear about your circumstances and are praying with you as you face a new reality. While we don't have the answers for each person's unique circumstances, we do want to point you to resources that can help, including Christian counseling. Learn more here: proverbs31.org/about/counseling-support
All so true. I never ever dreamed that I was going to get a divorce. I was so committed to my marriage. My Ex was not. It takes two to make a marriage work. He broke his vows to me and was unfaithful. He committed adultery. He abandoned me for a married Woman on our street. He drank a lot and emotionally abused me. He banged down on the bible with his fist and said “as long as you believe Leona my heart is black”. He wanted the divorce 😢. He continues his affair. Been away from my home now since November 13 2020. It’s a painful healing journey.
Marriage is between a man and a woman, But it only takes one person to break it.
This is soooo good. Thinking about divorce more these days and getting therapy! This is very necessary.
I'm hearing four A's of reason to divorce:
Abandonment
Addiction
Abuse
Adultery
This is such harsh reality😢
Yesss-I’ve gone through a 36 year divorce marriage-3 years ago. My brokenness came from the fact that -“God we tore your marriage apart”. ( I say this based on my testimony)
But I had a lot of characteristics that needed to change. Especially” the culture” of where I came from played a key part in my marriage.
But all the topics are REALLY an unspoken desire I have as well as questions.
Should I remarry and am I healed enough?
Do I love being single enough to stay this way?
I fell like my motive needs to be a priority-because not wanting to share my decision with another person-isn’t a good motive.
I’ve decided I need to work at being in a marriage with the Lord first. And I believe A marriage with another person will come easy.
Because if I just can’t be walking out an Ephesians way of marriage.
I won’t be ready or able.
Read Mark 10: 8-12. If you remarried, then you are committing adultery.
💔😭😭😭😭😭Why can't the pastors and elders sit with the word like thus and the reverend I love God's word thanku I've listen to Dr ramani and you and I'm blessed many don't get it thank you for making the quilt jacket fall 😇
Gods word is true, our Bibles have been rewritten so many times. God will guide your steps. If He is your all and all, listen to the Spirit calls deep to deep.
Hello I a new viewer too glad I found it as well!
This is excellent!! Im currently going through a divorce I didn't want. I'm working on myself , getting to know myself & learning to live by myself & be content, resting in Jesus. I believe that someday I will want to date, but only Christian men. I'm spending a lot of time reflecting on the changes God is calling me to make, I wasn't' perfect in my marriage, I caused some of the hurt too. I want to become the woman of God that God has called me to be first...then if it's God's will, I would like to find the right man of God for me. Lysa, thank you for Proverbs 31 ministries. I can't wait to listen more 🙏💖
We're glad this was helpful!
This is such a great resource for everyone who is a believer in Christ and those who are unsure of what to do when they look at their moral code. I think that most people believe, even if they cannot or will not admit it. People who marry are not doing so with the intent of getting divorced eventually. The only question I have is where do the scriptures say that abandonment is a grounds for divorce? I really appreciate all of your work in researching the scriptures and translations. Also, thank you Lysa for sharing your emotional experience going through divorce. I think that was very brave of you.
“To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”
1 Corinthians 7:12-16 ESV
Grieving what my future will be without him? Alone, single -provided for? How will I do it? Will it hurt my family- will see heir hurt in it… ministry effect ? Just get older and die alone? All the negative thoughts hit
I so very very appreciate this post -- this video discussion -- & the things y'all have shared, here! It makes so much REASONABLE SENSE!♥ But (yeah, a BIG "but"!), still... I have had decades of fears & anguish (since divorcing) because of THESE verses: Matt.5:32, & Matt.19:9-12, & Mark 10:11-12, & Rom.7:1-3, & 1 Cor.7:30... 🤕. I would (& no doubt many many other truly sincere women would, too) so LOVE to get some feedback from Dr. Joel Muddamalle on these very verses, too! 🤔 There has been so many different "viewpoints", & "interpretations", by various "Christian ministers" on this very topic, even ranging from one extreme to the other, over the years... & even intense Bible studying on my own, has not (yet) cleared up the vast confusion on it. 😕 Thank you, Official Proverbs 31 Ministries!