Bad Dialogue vs Good Dialogue (Writing Advice)
Вставка
- Опубліковано 12 тра 2024
- Learn what separates bad dialogue from good dialogue. Examples from Star Wars, Game of Thrones, John Wick, Castlevania, and more!
Get Brandon's horror/thriller novel BAD PARTS:
- AMAZON (USA): amzn.to/3esTFYC
- AMAZON (UK): www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B088QLMWKW/
- AMAZON (CAN): www.amazon.ca/dp/B088QLMWKW/
- AMAZON (AUS): www.amazon.com.au/dp/B088QLMWKW/
- BARNES & NOBLE: tinyurl.com/BadPartsBN
- AUDIBLE: www.audible.com/pd/Bad-Parts-...
- OTHER RETAILERS: books2read.com/badparts
Get Brandon's supernatural thriller novel ENTRY WOUNDS:
- AMAZON (USA): amzn.to/2XL737v
- AMAZON (UK): www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B097YGX2DH
- AMAZON (CAN): www.amazon.ca/dp/B097YGX2DH
- AMAZON (AUS): www.amazon.com.au/dp/B097YGX2DH
- BARNES & NOBLE: tinyurl.com/EntryWoundsBN
- AUDIBLE: tinyurl.com/EWAudible
- OTHER RETAILERS: books2read.com/EntryWounds
0:00 Intro
0:49 Good Dialogue
2:23 Bad Dialogue
2:42 On The Nose Dialogue
5:06 Melodramatic Dialogue
8:08 "As You Know, Bob" Dialogue
10:52 Forced Poetry Dialogue
12:59 Wooden Dialogue
15:27 Outro
Follow Brandon McNulty:
WEBSITE (Join my mailing list!) - brandonmcnulty.com/
TWITTER - / mcnultyfiction
FACEBOOK - / mcnultyfiction
SUBSCRIBE to Writer Brandon McNulty here: / @writerbrandonmcnulty
DISCLAIMER: Some of my videos and/or descriptions contain affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links, I’ll receive a small commission. This helps support the channel and allows me to continue to make videos like this. This does not affect my review of products. All opinions are my own. Thank you for the support!
#WritingAdvice #WritingTips #Writing #author #betterstories #authortube #booktube #authortuber #howtowrite #BrandonMcNulty #WriterBrandonMcNulty #BadParts #WritingCommunity
Credit to SkyDilen for my video intro.
=======================================
CHECK OUT MY OTHER VIDEOS:
Mastering Scene Structure:
• Mastering Scene Struct...
Writing Scenes that Flow:
• Writing Scenes That Fl...
5 Fatal Mistakes that New Writers Make
• 5 Fatal Mistakes that ...
5 Time-Saving Tips for Writers (And Readers!)
• 5 Time-Saving Tips for...
5 Scientific Inaccuracies in Movies, TV, & Books
• 5 Scientific Inaccurac...
Query Letter Survival Tips
• Query Letter Survival ...
The BEST Writing Exercise Out There
• The BEST Writing Exerc...
How to Write a Book Pitch
• How to Write a Book Pitch
Writing Villains #1 - Start with Your Hero
• Writing Villains #1 - ...
Writing Villains #2 - Goals
• Writing Villains #2 - ...
Writing Villains #3 - Motivation
• Writing Villains #3 - ...
Writing Villains #4 - When to Introduce Your Villain
• Writing Villains #4 - ...
Writing Villains #5 - Plot Points for Villains
• Writing Villains #5 - ...
Writing Villains #6 - Impacting the Hero
• Writing Villains #6 - ...
The Anatomy of Story REVIEW:
• The Anatomy of Story R...
Save the Cat Writes a Novel REVIEW:
• Save the Cat Writes a ...
=======================================
My favorite example of Bad dialogue is “Somehow, Palpatine returned.” from Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker.
For me, it was in episode VII where they said, "This was the Death Star...and THIS is the Starkiller!" or whatever the hell they called it, and showed a picture of the exact same super-weapon, only bigger and badder than ever because Disney is telling us this is so. Unoriginal and cheesy.
@@MarysiaKosowski But profitable. Which is the only thing Disney cares about.
@@alexchapman8927 Not so much anymore.
@@alexchapman8927 Was it? They paid 4billion for the brand, spent another 2 billion producing the films for just over a 10billion world wide gross. Now on the surface, that looks like a 4billion profit, but here's the kicker. Studios generally spend 50-100% of the budget of a film on marketing after so that's at minimum another billion spent, then you have to factor in that studios don't get the total gross from cinemas, in America where the studios get the highest cut they take home something like 55-65% and it's much lower internationally.
At best, they might have broken even on the films and that's carried heavily by the first 2 ones. There's a reason they stopped producing films and all we get is rumors about something in development over and over.
And if you think the Star Wars shows will have saved the profitability of the brand, Disney has had massive losses coming from establishing Disney+ as a streaming platform and a large part of those losses have been Star Wars.
They have been taken losses on toy and merchandise sales too, the Star Wars Hotel thing they tried has been an unmitigated disaster.
So no, it definitely hasn't been profitable overall, and especially not the last 5 years.
Lol
I just realized that bad movie dialogue is how people actually talk in real life.
Aimless, clumsy, stilted... I give you... human speech!
can i have a dozen red roses please
You are right, people usually going around saying " I dont want it" " you are my ___ !"
@@sn_258 that actually works lmao
New York, Argentina, Italy, Spain, Cuba, etc: Whatsamattayou?
“What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!” 😂😂😂 That’s awesome dialogue tbh
I liked all of the lines from Dracula.
The dialog is campy, but it works really well given the context! I can't agree that it's bad dialog. There's no time to create an emotional scene, and it is natural that Belmont is automatically hostile towards Dracula.
I like it a lot because it is theatrical, very over the top, which worked! (probably not in the way the writers intended). It's a situation of trying to be good for drama but ending up being good for being unintentionally funny (not funny for being bad).
Yes it was so funny I highly enjoyable!
It is much more a case of bad acting than bad dialog.
The Frodo and Bilbo conversation serves as a new light in a character that seems like nothing but goodness at first, it reveals a complex side and serves as an understanding for his motivations to leave the Shrine, it is not exposition is characterisation. And, even if it was "bad", the superb acting shows perfectly the face of an old man's confession, after all, good dialog is nothing if delivered incorrectly.
I think many people confuse bad dialogue with people who are bad many times.
@@seriousnesstv7902 I think the problem is that people expect good dialogue to be realistic, when cinema is viewed with a dramatic lent, of course there should be an element of relativity, but it is still exaggerated for theatrics.
@@illseeyaonthedarksideofthemoon good dialogue can’t be realistic and it’s a paradox because often times realistic dialogue is often said to be bad.
@@seriousnesstv7902fuck the kings guard, fuck the city and fuck the king. Isn't really something someone would say in that situation. Let's be honest what matters more is weather is aline's with your characters personality.
"Luke. I am your father." I mean, that's sucky, horrible writing, because it's "on the nose," right? Darth should have have danced around the subject, maybe talked about "that fishing trip," to which Luke would have responded, "I never went fishing; I grew up in a desert," at which point Darth would have removed a locket from the grip of his saber, and tossed it to Luke, and the tears streaming down Darth's mask would have said everything; cut to Hayden Christensen and young Haley Joel Osment fishing on the banks of a really nice river, chewing straw; then flash back to Luke's dawning realization in present time. //
The Star Wars scene was a missed opportunity. I believe the intention was to show how different Anakin's and Padme's backgrounds are. Anakin grew up as a slave in Tatooine while Padme grew up in luxury. Padme likes sand because it reminds her of the beach while Anakin hates sand because it reminds him of the empty desert.
The delivery is what makes it bad
@@TheoRae8289 Agreed, that actor ruined the movie. Everyone else was on point, but Anakin was flat in every line....it's like the cast had to all 'act around' him. Too bad.
@@moranplano I blame George Lucas more. He managed to squeeze out some mediocre performances from Natalie Portman, an otherwise phenomenal actress. Even Hayden Christensen had a Golden Globe nomination under his belt when he entered the franchise.
@@TheoRae8289 Nope, it was the dialogue. The delivery could have been much better, but totally GL's fault. (He was also the one who chose HC.) But when both the writing and acting are bad, it's tough to tell.
@@moranplano the problem was again a bad decision by Lucas. He wanted Anakin to sound like Vader without a mask, thats why Hayden isnt allowed to show any emotions. Which makes no sense, bc we see Anakin as a human with emotions and are supposed to feel for him. It creates a distance between te audience and the protagonist.
Lucas has a very creative mind but he just messes it up sometimes
Bilbo's dialogue is on point. He is drunk, he feels guilty because he is going to leave Hobbiton without telling Frodo, and he is telling Frodo he is selfish to make an excuse for what is about to happen and prepare Frodo. It is not a "as you know bob" moment.
The reference to Frodo's parents dying is stilted, though.
One of the great things about great writers is they know the rules of good writing. One of those rules is knowing when to break or bend the rules.
It may be stilted, and Bilbo may be repeating information both of them already know, but as Eric said...he's drunk and feels guilty. I have definitely had those awkward, stilted, conversations while drunk where I'm repeating stuff everyone knows, and everyone KNOWS everyone knows... but you just....can't....help yourself. You gotta say it because you can't get it out of your head. :P I feel like that's what makes it a GOOD dialogue because it's so natural! It makes Bilbo, the hero...the star of the party...as HUMAN (well, Halfling).
Right? Plus this is just how very old people talk. They tell you the same stories you have heard a dozen times, but there is no stopping them from telling it again. Out of respect, you just listen to it for the umpteenth time. 😅
totally agree.
Agree. He's being maudlin. And Frodo DID NOT KNOW Bilbo was selfish. This is a revelation to him. And the audience did not know Bilbo felt that way about his own actions any more than Frodo did. Bilbo is a hero admitting to having some not obvious flaws.
"This is not the day I die."
~Oberyn Martell the day he died 😂
Haha!
Foreshadowing!
Thank you Brandon, this was very helpful! As you know, Brandon, some of us writers out there use bad dialogue, and need help writing better dialogue. And you, Brandon, are a writer who makes youtube videos to help other writers. I feel very grateful that you wrote this, as I was having writer's block and it was agony! Now I am extremely relieved. Just as the flowers are in pain in the hot dry sun until the wonderful raindrops fall to breath them back to life. And now, I will write the greatest book the world has ever seen, and the entire writing industry will be under my thumb! Mwahaha!
Hahaha you’ve learned well!!
"I got the results of the tests back. I definitely have breast cancer." -Lisa's mom, The Room
And the best part is that it never gets addressed again hahah
That’s GREAT dialogue!
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty I'm going to challenge you just for fun, why is it bad that it doesn't get addressed again?
@@jojo_n_dat7325 Because it adds nothing to the plot, the character connections or the world building. So it's pointless.
Funny story: I watched this movie a few times by now. But just a few weeks ago I realized, what the point behind the Danny drugdealer story was. It was to bring the gun into the story, which is later used by Johnny to kill himself.
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty thank you so much! I guess I should have just looked it up, but I never quite got what melodrama was.
I totally disagree about the Frodo / Bilbo scene about Frodo's parents. The point is: Frodo idolized Bilbo and is shocked at his uncle's confession. Bilbo is actually revealing something Frodo doesn't know... about Bilbo's character. Of course Frodo knows Bilbo took him in after his parents died, but Bilbo is now confessing WHY he did.... which is something Bilbo himself didn't even know until he came to this revelation and confession. That's why Bilbo says" I'm very selfish you know... YES I AM... very selfish" - that "yes I am" is because he knew his sweet, tender hearted nephew was going to automatically disagree with him. Bilbo needs to get it off his chest and didn't want to be defended. Frodo doesn't think of Bilbo as selfish. This may be the first truly honest and vulnerable thing Bilbo has ever said to his nephew.... and Bilbo is only brave enough to confess it because he's leaving. It's an important moment.
Well put
I agree. Very well said. To call it lazy writing is absurd.
The line wasn't written to tell the audience about Frodo's parents (which is wholly irrelevant to the story) it was to demonstrate how the characters feel about each other (in the subtext and very relevant) and give importance to Bilbo's disappearing act in the next scene. This line in particular is loaded with subtext as Bilbo is leaving and Frodo doesn't know but suspects he's up to something. Bilbo still wants to leave Frodo with parting words of confidence, "You're the only one who showed real spirit...you'll be alright." Without this exchange, the audience wouldn't feel anything when Frodo later busts into Bag End looking for his dear uncle. "I didn't think he'd actually do it. 😢"
@@danielbanta2019 Thanks Daniel
@@DJHansYolo Thanks Joe. I really enjoyed the video up to that point, but his take on this scene was so off-base I had to comment. You made excellent points as well!
Honestly having a hard time enjoying the rest of the video after that. Such a bad take to call that scene lazy writing.
This video impels me to acknowledge that "bad dialogue" doth possess a singular charm, and I derive great pleasure from its embrace.
I will give you an example where the actor fixed the bad writing:
Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back
Princess Leia to Han Solo: "I love you"
Han Solo: “Just remember that, ’cause I’ll be back.”
As we all know, that is not what was said... Harrison Ford looked at the script, tossed it on a table and when the time came, he responded "I know". Magic!
"You can type this shit, George, but you can't say it." -Harrison Ford.
Another reason the Back to the Future dialogue works is that it has a payoff later. Marty says his mother would go on and on about "how she never did anything like that when she was a kid." He says "she was practically born a nun." But later we see how false both of those things are when he encounters his mother as a teenager in the past. Obviously, we don't know those things when we're watching this scene for the first time, but it adds to the replay value.
BTTF is the definition of replay value!
Not only that, but it reflects how one perceived her to he because of the point of view from the son. Another theme thought to have resonated is this subtle notion of parents having done crazy things, but kids think they never lived through crazy or fun times. It depicts the separation and miscommunication both have, a trypical sentiment felt amongst adults and their kids, but also how kids feel about their parents! It reflects the disconnect, which adds that spice to the whole complex relationship with his mother. It does it so subtly that you don't really know how much weight some scenes hold.
It’s a classic setup to prepare us for what comes later.
I’d call this foreshadowing, but in the case of BTTF, it’s beforeshadowing.
Perhaps she really was like that when she was young because she never had someone who really attracted her to do those things. I think at first she never liked too much her husband George, she even says at the begginin that she 'felt sorry for him' when her dad ran George over with the car. In Marty she found someone who REALLY likes her and someone exactly as she needed, she said in Doc's garage she wanted someone brave, someone who defends the woman he loves, things George never did... And as the movie goes on, she fell more in love with Marty for being brave and mysterious referring him as a "dream", it all ends when they kiss and she felt unconfourtable, and finally when she sees how George changed to be more like Marty.
"As you know, Bob" is literally the first 20 minutes of every single Lifetime Christmas romance movie. They are a guilty pleasure of my wife's and she watches a few every Christmas. I get a kick out of the opening dialogue every time.
"Oh hey, Sandy. I haven't seen you since we worked together at your Uncle Jeff's toy store our senior year of McMillan High School."
"Wow, Kurt. I forgot how much you look like my brother, Ryan who died in that car accident on April 7th, 2008."
"Maybe I will see you at Judy, my mother, the Mayor's Christmas eve party."
Cracks me up every single time.
Oh, I hate those. It's not because they're bad. It's because they're all the exact same movie. It's like some kind of queer seasonal monotonous stimulation torture.
Tru
I think there's a trick to improve those moments.
On your first write-through, go ahead and do the "As you know Bob" parts. Then when you go back for your first revision (or second or third or fourth or...) think "How can I SHOW this instead?"
Example: "As you know Bob, my wife works at that super market. I think she could get your kids hired for the summer."
changes to: "I could ask Sally to put in a word for your kids. The supermarket doesn't pay well, but its honest work."
changes to: "Sally could help with getting your kids a job at Steak'n'Sprouts."
and keep revising. I think the biggest lesson in how to write better is...
Revision
Revision
Revision
...
I will never watch Murder, She Wrote the same way again...
LOL
I loved (and still do) the cheesy dialogue between Richter and Dracula from SOTN. I could recite it and play out both characters as if my life depended on it lol.
Anyway, thank you for the video. I have recently found out about your awesome channel, and I couldn't get enough.
More power to you!
I think there were much better examples for the "as you know" because the LOTR scene dialogue didn't seem really bad to me. The point wasn,t to tell the audience that Bilbo is selfish in another way but more for Bilbo to explain to Frodo why he took him in and why he cares about him. Also to tell Frodo that he isn't like the others (he's not the reason why Biblo is leaving.)
Bilbo bringing up the death of Frodo's parents is the "As you know, Bob". Frodo already knows Bilbo took him in after his parents died. There's nothing wrong with the rest of the dialog.
Why do so many comments miss this when it's specifically called out in the video?
Completely wrong about the Lord of the Rings dialogue, it's not remotely an "as you know" moment, since it's clear that Frodo does not think of Bilbo as selfish, and Bilbo saying "you know" is literally just speaking style, and not a declaration that Frodo should already know this. There's also a ton of conflict there; Bilbo knows he's about to leave the Shire for a long time and is trying to have a heart-to-heart with Frodo before he goes, but isn't sure how to go about it. It's absolutely fantastic dialogue
Yeah, it feels like Bilbo is trying to 'close the book' on his parenting role to Frodo and express how he feels about it before he leaves him, but can't quite find the words - and Frodo dismisses it as the drink talking.
Sooooo agree with this comment! I was going to write something similar, but you already did …also the John wick scene comparison is NOT better!
I agree. I haven't even seen LotR and it seemed like a bad example to me. The rest of the list seemed spot on though.
Even as someone who has never seen the Lord of the Rings, I could tell that there was quality in the dialogue. The only exception would be if both characters _did_ know that Bilbo was selfish, but the implication, to me, seemed to be that Frodo did not think of Bilbo as selfish and Bilbo was trying to come clean on how he saw himself.
Bro, dude calling Tolkien's work lazy writing is something 😅😅🤣
There's a scene in The Iron Giant where a fictional monster movie plays on the TV. The dialogue was intentionally bad for comedic effect, and it's hilarious.
Ah, nice--that's a clever way of using it. Somehow I never watched that movie as a kid. Gotta add it to my list
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty
Prince of Egypt, Road to El Durado are recommended too
@@volitones8936 Good to know!
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty iron giant is an absolute gem. Makes me cry ugly tears every time.
@@volitones8936 3 of the best animated movies ever made. Prince of Egypt tops them, but Iron Giant is a lot more fun to watch
Castlevania(the show) genuinely has some of the greatest dialogue uve heard. It flows so well, and each character's dialogue fits them
Bishop: "You cannot enter the house of God."
Demon: "God is not here."
💀
The Back to the Future example is particularly interesting. The seemingly casual dialogue conveys both their feelings and the immediate situation/plot, but it also contains a third layer of information regarding Marty's image of his mother which will be important later. And that goes for a lot of the dialogue and scenes in the movie.
Richter and Dracula might be a bad dialogue exchange but "what is a man? a miserable little pile of secrets" is the best dialogue line
I came here to say this :) To this day I still say this line randomly to my wife lol.
I thought Dracula had some insightful lines in there!
Now that you mention it, the dialogue in the actual original Dracula novel is actually very good and thoughtful.
Dracula sounds nietzschean when he said that line
Have at you!!
But Frodo does not know Bilbo to be selfish at all in that scene. Bilbo is attacking, just as you say happens in good dialogue, and the subtext is his guilt for having done something out of a secret selfish motivation.
This. Strange the sentiment he has gone unnoticed.
Not to mention the dramatic tension - Frodo doesn’t know why Bilbo is acting so odd, and the audience has a clue but doesn’t know exactly what’s going to happen. I like John Wick but Lord of the Rings is in a complete different category
@@citcat2220 yeah exactly very well said. I get how you could interpret the scene the way he did if you took it out of context, and I'm assuming that's what happened. If you watched the whole scene there's absolutely know way anyone could interpret this exchange as wooden exposition
Exactly!
too on the nose?
No Country For Old Men has the best dialogues ever imo. So much sub text and profound meaning !
"Is it raining, I hadn't noticed" - last scene of 4 Weddings and a Funeral.
Absolutely brilliant line!
Like often I feel calling Anakin's dialogues bad is a little unfair. They are clumsy, over the top and on the nose... because he is. The guy never had a healthy humanrelationship. The closest thing he has to a friend is a guy he litterally has to call 'master'. And that is the subtext: Anakin is well... socially impaired.
I agree. It's just so rare to meet such people in real life people write it off as unrealistic but it absolutely can be.
Even when Anakin isn't involved, the dialogue of that film is pretty bad. Anakin's dialogue could work for the character, but the rest of the movie puts a magnifying glass on it instead of providing it cover.
Problem is, this character trait leads to nothing. It is not developed. So it's more likely just bad craftmenship.
Usually when you have bad dialog because a character is socially impaired, you have some character in the movie say something about it, or about the speaker, so it is clear what it is
@@ethanfetaya good point
I'm not sure the "as you know, bob" example from lord of the rings was that bad. In any case, it would be more an example of "on the nose". When I heard it, it seemed to me that in their everyday life they only talk about trivial things, so for once Bilbo wanted to have an honest conversation, stating things that they both probably know but they never talk about. Specially more so considering this is his way of saying goodbye as he intents leaving him.
I agree, it could also be possible that Frodo didn’t know those things about Bilbo and their relationship, maybe Bilbo never told him his true intentions before
It definitely works in context. Bilbo was fretting about telling Frodo the truth and it really shows in both the hesitant tone and the sudden stronger "YES, I AM" because he was finally admitting something that he knew Frodo would immediately try to deny or at least downplay. It's really not the best-picked example for this type of bad dialogue.
"Throughout the heavens and the earth, I alone am the Honoured one." To me, I think this was a good example of a poetic/flowery one-liner from JJK (manga). The setting, and the current state of mind Gojo was in when he said this is perfect.
A dialog is not just about conflict, therefore is not just about attacking or defending. The dialogs between Marge and her husband Norm in the movie Fargo are great examples.
Good dialogue:
- Sounds natural
- Attacks or defends
- Expresses unspoken meaning (subtext)
- Feelings are in subtext
- Emotion boiling beneath the surface (Example, Kratos and Thor)
- Verbal battle (Attack and defend)
- Exposition is okay if one of the characters are learning something new and its not on the nose (perhaps paint a vivid mental picture of what it is you’re describing)
Bad dialogue:
- On the nose (States the obvious, exact feelings or thoughts)
- Melodrama (Over exaggerated, unearned emotion)
- Exposition (As you know bob lets tell the audience what the hell we are doing) (Neither character learns anything new)
- Forced poetry (Doesn’t keep dialogue grounded in their character)
- Wooden dialogue (Doesn’t sound natural)
12:30 quote of the video
Thanks this makes much more sense.
Anime: huh whats exposition!??? Thats our typical diaogue these days
Arbitrary criteria.
Star Wars dialogue did exactly as it wanted to accomplish. If it works as designed...it's good dialogue.
It's just not the dialogue you've been raised on by Hollywood blockbusters for decades.
@@guyledouche7939 it’s bad
@@blueseaturtle6031 it's not. You know nothing about Star Wars.
The absolute BEST example of unexpected poetry is in Blazing Saddles, when Mungo comes out with the immortal line: "Don't know. Mungo only pawn in game of life."
And that works because it is COMEDY!
I would say "Tears in (the) rain" from BladeRunner.
Also, a good example of poetic dialogue is Aragorn's speech in "Return of the King." He uses a similar poetic technique to the Hound's.
"I am directly below, the enemy's scrotum." is my favorite line of bad dialogue
Great video! I’m a middle aged amateur writer with a gazillion stories in my head, many of which I think people would love to hear. The hard part is getting the words from my head to paper without losing everything that matters in the translation. Part of that loss is by making the mistakes you touched on in this video. I am frequently watching high quality film and TV, but even in those worlds I find myself spotting unnatural or otherwise flawed dialogue with alarming consistency. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for the videos, keep ‘em coming!
re: "all good dialogue is conflict", some of my favourite shows and books are ones where this is not the case, and characters will just take some time to chat about each other, or joke around. It can be such good character building, and revealing of the relationships between them. I hate when dialogue is so trimmed down to the essential that characters spend all their time discussing things and never bonding.
I completely agree!
While I think this video is very good, it is a writer's video, which is nothing wrong in itself. But then you also have actors. And in acting, conflict is important, but what is far more important is "having a relationship", on stage, on screen, doesn't matter. Additionally impulse and of course awareness, which is a force shared with the audience. I've been writing, directing and acting, I studied acting, I translated literature from Slovene to German, I directed in the theatres, played on stage, etc. The one thing, which I always want in my writing, is for the actor to have a final say. And we may argue about it, but even when I do voice recordings with only 1 actor, this relationship then has to be build between us. If you have relationship, conflict is not necessary. That said, conflict here isn't necessarily meant as on the nose either. Conflict can be subtle and present even in the most harmonious bonding. Or, you could put it also as: sorting out differences. Conflict does not necessarily mean arguing.
An entire story of nothing but conflict dialogue can be boring and repetitive. I agree that bonding and humor can make us relate to characters more. This makes us care what happens to them more, too. There needs to be balance, and interludes, in the ongoing conflict. TV drama series that don’t understand this become draining and eventually the ratings fall off.
Yes! While it can feel like a waste of screen time or a few paragraphs, more than the current plot exists to bond characters together.
One of my favorite "hangout" scenes was in avenger's 2 I think?? Where everyone is trying to pick up Thor's hammer. There is no conflict, but there's a banter which shows more of the hero's thoughts and motivations that make them different from the other heroes.
I love how all of the bad dialogue types are practically anime tropes at this point.
I don't watch a whole ton of anime, but I wonder how many of the bad dialogue tropes arise because of translation issues... Many older video games had that problem
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty Depends on the anime from what I've seen. Some anime just... don't have excellently written dialogue (over-exposition being the most notable problem I've seen) and others are only bad because they ran out of budget/time making the actual anime, so they put the story into Google Translate and called it a day lol
@@theuberedredspy8791 I'm reading the Death Note manga right now, and the dialogue hasn't taken me out of the story, so I guess you're right---depends from story to story
@@theuberedredspy8791 When it comes to anime, English is a terrible language to translate Japanese to: this is because many parts of speech that are found in English and other western languages don't exist in Japanese and vice versa, so Japanese is spoken quicker. A single word in Japanese can be an entire sentence in English: compare 動き出した to "It came to life."
The problem with translating Japanese into English is that, since English is a "slower" language, the writer needs to cram in words that retain both the lipsync and semantics of the original line, while making sure it is grammatically correct. That's how the "It's over 9000!" line was made.
@@hotel_arcadia Huh, the more you know
2:57 “You can’t just say how your characters are feeling, that makes me feel angry!” -robot devil from Futurama (paraphrased)
hahahahahahahaha
I get that Anakin pouring his guts out is saying the obvious, but he's really not saying it in an obvious way. I feel like it's intentional for that to be so on the nose. How is it dull? He's describing how he feels about her in such a unique way. How is there no deeper meaning to him saying she is tormenting him, even though he loves her so much. That's deep to me. So poetic. Besides, it IS natural. It's natural for Anakin. Throughout Star Wars history, Darth Vader, who IS Anakin, isn't just some shallow commander. He is very formal with his words in a way a poet would be. If Anakin talks this way in multiple scenes, clearly that's just the way he gets when he's alone with Padme. Some guys are like that in real life. They suddenly become beautiful poets whenever the girl they like, their crush, or their girlfriend is with them.
The first one reminds me of a Futurama episode. Robot Devil says "you can't have your characters tell you how they feel. That makes me angry". Makes your exact point.
"They're eating her, and then they're going to eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!" Absolutely golden dialogue.
Hahaha
"You can't piss on hospitality!"
Exactly what I was thinking
Legendary.
The only reason that movie hasn't been forgotten is because of that line. 😄
11:40 Well, these are the powers some may consider unnatural.
My favourite bad phrase is "Oh hi, Mark."
It's funny, but you pointing out that Anakin's dialogue is too "on the nose" made me realize that it actually makes sense for his character especially when contrasted with Marty and Jennifer.
Marty and Jennifer are American seniors in high school. Presumably, they have some prior experience with romance and courtship. Plus, they are an established couple. Their dialogue is going to be more natural and playful.
Anakin's only experience with romance is a nine-year-old's crush on a teenage girl. Of course, his dialogue is going to be awkward and "on the nose". The problem isn't that Anakin is saying exactly how he feels, it's pretty much everything else in that scene (the delivery, Padme's reaction, etc.)
It's also poorly demonstrating some subtext. Anakin is actually mocking Padme for how easy her life was. She lives on a lush, tropical planet-as a Queen. He was the son of a slave who had to hustle Podraces for money.
However, he still loved her and wished for there to be some way for them to be together. He hoped-beyond hope-that they would have such a chance.
It makes me think of an awkward teenager trying too hard, which I think is very Anakin.
The issue is that it's not just Anakin. Every character in the prequels comes off as jarring and awkward. Listen to Mace Windu, Padme, Obi Wan, etc. It's not how the supposed peacekeepers and politicians of the Star Wars universe are supposed to sound
I thought that as well. The whole point of the scene is we see clearly the emotionally stunted child that will be manipulated and seek darker things. He needed an adult. His lover is an adult child. And his mentor is pretty petulant too. No hope for the death father.
I dislike the star wars dialogue too, it's not known for being the best example. But Anakin makes more and more sense to me as I watch it. He's a conflicted spoiled (with power) child from a traumatically poor background. He's punching above his weight, he's trying to eloquent but he's a slave boy by origin. His whole story arc is driven by his insecurities, lack of grace and need for position attention. The more you see Anakin and Vader, the more it makes sense. Even mature Vader is just an angry spoiled man entitled by power and gaslit by the Emporer. It's all on point. It lacks grace, but maybe deliberately so.
Anakin Skywalker's bad dialogue entirely makes sense for a teenager with super powers and an extreme amount of angst. I talked the same way when I was 16 and I thought everything was deep lol. The rest of the dialogue in that movie has no excuse, but Anakin's actually naive enough for it to work.
But Padme is not. Older and more educated, she would have recognized it for the tripe that it was and there should have been some negative reaction, verbalized or otherwise. There wasn't. In that context it WAS supposed to be deep.
And it works, to the extent it does, ONLY because Anakin is like 16 years old. To the extent it doesn't work, it's because Lucas forced Hayden Christiansen to act it in the most wooden way possible. If done with the expressiveness and awkwardness implicit in adolescent angst over a first love, the dialogue would actually have worked very well BECAUSE Anakin is who he is and in the strange position in which he found himself vis-a-vis Padme. This was a failure of direction and acting, not writing.
@@Metaphilosopher anakin is 19 in ep2, padme is 24
@@Metaphilosopher and hayden is a great actor i don't think it's a failure of acting
Writing out this dialogue the way it is laid out in this video would have been totally natural and would have rendered this discussion useless. So why not doing it right the first time.
One of my favorite lines of dialogue is from The Fugitive, because it contains a massive amount of subtext in an incredibly brief exchange (and supposedly was improvised):
Dr. Kimble: "I didn't kill my wife!"
Deputy Marshal Gerard: "I don't care!"
In three words, Tommy Lee Jones says "It's not my position to determine guilt. You're a fugitive and I'm going to catch you no matter what."
Which is KEY because it turns out that (spoiler) he DOES care and works to exonerate Kimble.
There are several "I don't care" moments in various movies (which I unfortunately can't remember right as I'm writing), but I'm pretty sure I enjoyed them all. It flips the script on the person who's trying to make a case, and redirects them as well as the viewer to a larger picture.
@@SMathai I mean, "Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a damn" must be what you're thinking right?
@@TristanCleveland 100% thought of that, probably my first-ever movie experience of that general phrase... and what an impact too - the delivery of that line was a roundhouse kick to the head. Didn't mention it because the request was for "your favorite line of bad dialogue", which this one doesn't fall under.
@@SMathai I somehow got to that part of the book without having heard the line before (hadn't seen the movie) and I nearly fell out of my chair.
to be honest, I find the Aniken dialogs convincing. He IS the kind of person who has this poetic conflict in his inner soul. And he speaks out loud his exact feelings towards Padme because he wants to get a reaction. She tries to pretend, that she doesn't know what he feels. She tries to deny it. So he speaks it out loud. And in that regards, the two dialogs are in fact good ones. In my humble opinion at least! Nice videos by the way!❤
Yeah, I mean, have you SEEN the original movies? Darth Vader is always giving his sentences bigger words, and he feels like one of those deeper meaning, types of characters, like Thanos, but not to that extent.
His name is Anakin.
When I saw the Anakin character being played by Hayden Christensen in the theatre, I felt his acting was cringey and the dialog terrible. I was rolling my eyes almost to the point of pain. But what told me that my distaste wasn't just about my advanced age was that my two kids (tweens or teens at the time), who were sitting way at the back, burst out laughing at the seriously awful kissing scene. I don't want to watch it again because it's just too painful.
Anakin's words are taken almost wholesale from the cannon of Medieval romance and courtly love. A little clumsy, but following medieval poetic style
This deserves a sequel, "When Bad Dialog Works." Not all of it has to be comedy.😂
I tend to agree with you on most points, but I can't help that, "What is man, but a miserable pile of secrets?!" is pretty much one of my favorite quotes of all time. If you take it out of context of the awful voice acting and silly inflections, this line has incredible weight to how Dracula views human beings. I don't think it's a bad translation, I think it's one of the best lines written in the thousands of video games I have played.
I haven't played thousands of video games, maybe only a dozen. But I have read thousands of books and plays and poems. Maybe that's why I can agree that Dracula's "What is man" dialogue sucks.
@@ericminch Well, you suck even more not being able to see it, "Mr. thousands of books"...
@@v1kt0u5 you’re being on the nose, try again
I do like that line, but Richter’s lines are awful. “Die monster!” This is the start of the dialogue? That line, if you must use such a cliche, should not be anywhere other than the last thing someone says as they are striking out. It well demonstrates the problem of melodrama, because it starts at an emotional level (not counting the acting) that should require several lines to build up to.
Frodo and Bilbo is not a bad dialogue at all. The video author fails to see that there IS conflict which is very obvious. Frodo is telling Bilbo that he's a selfish old man, Bilbo is recriminating him that he adopted him, neither of those things are "exposition for the audience" (there is no "Frodo adoption plot" later), rather this serves as a discussion between two characters to establish the dynamics and is rather realistic. I can't take the points seriously, besides this is well acted and not corny like anakin.
One favorite exchange in Game of Thrones was when Lord Baelish asks Lord Varys "Did you see it with your own eyes?" and Varys replies "With eyes I own" (since he pays children, his 'little birds', to spy for him). So many great lines in GOT, it is hard to keep track!
They tried to be Shakespeare but were usually Sorkin.
Yeah from amazing dialogue to awful in the last seasons
"If only you could see what I have seen with your eyes" Roy Batty
Of course it was awful, they had no more GRRM dialog they could rely on and had to come up with their own.
For the first few seasons, GRRM even wrote the scripts for some episodes.
@@Bredemann100 It's almost like they went from GRRM writing to HBO and studio interns writing.
There's a writer's strike going on right now....jokes on them: their "product" is barely sellable on the best of days, Let them strike and let them starve until they come up with better scripts.
Well said I really appreciate how you approched this.
wanting to get better isn't just about seeking people who are better than you, it's about understanding our own flaws and how we are influenced by the flaws of others.
Great video keep at it. I love how you use contrast to continually push forward.
looking for more; let me know if i can inspire help
Thanks! Tomorrow I’ll have a new bad/good video, so stay tuned
as a kid back then, watching star wars, i always more focused towards Anakin's expression over what he really says, I always feel like Hayden delivered the emotion that is needed to be conveyed on screen, so i'm always curious if he's a decent actor with bad dialouge all this time
The whole “Get busy living or get busy dying.” Exchange from The Shawshank Redemption is one my my all-time favorite bits of dialog. So good.
Definitely better than "you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain" from The Dark Knight, which too many people think is profound when it's really just claptrap
@@jamesmars9767ts just a line to explain the state of Gotham and how the good people of the city always end up getting corrupted, like Harvey Dent eventually did. It wasn't supposed to be deep or a "claptrap" lol
@@TheSastoke I don't think you understand what the term means...
@@jamesmars9767 I am not a native english speaker, so I didn't before I answered your comment, but I went looking for the meaning before responding. Just because I disagree with you, it doesnt mean I cant understand what you are saying
@@TheSastoke So, you disagree that the phrase fits the definition of claptrap?
Roy Batty's dying monologue at the end of Blade Runner is the perfect example of poetry from a "rough" character that completely works.
It's also an example of an actor noticing just how godawfully poorly his character was written and switching into self-preservation mode by speaking ex-tempore. We can be glad that Rutger Hauer had the mind and guts to notice that Scott and Peoples were messing up big time. He single-handedly saves the entire movie there.
I was about to post this when I saw the rough character poetry, Roy is literally about to die and he knows it, there's a reason for him to open himself up to deckard
@@p8gaming669 The reason is his humanity. Roy is, of course, a psychopath (that's what he was programmed to be), but he is a high functioning psychopath. He realizes that letting the man live serves him better than one more random killing.
I haven't watched any of the movies, which blade runner are you referring to?
@@air6448 The original: ua-cam.com/video/NoAzpa1x7jU/v-deo.html
At the time of this comment being shared, I am writing a story for myself and sharing online. So these videos are definitely going to help me know what to avoid and what to do when writing dialogue.
Anakin's journey into the dark side, into the sith means he starts acknowledging his raw feelings, his innermost desires. That scene demonstrates exactly that, it is actually a very good way to tell us he is on his way to express his feelings in an unfiltered way.
Once I was helping a writter to improve scenes and dialogue for soup opera and I always asked him the same "who talks like this? everyone knows the characters name, stop repeating it, over and over" and it was a nightmate, he wouldn't understand.
But then it hit me. It was me that didn't understand that soap operas are written like that because they're kind of background noise, they are meant to be watched while doing something else, so it doesn't matter if you haven't really payed atention.
Fuck, it doesn't even matter if you haven seen a single episode, if you watch a few episodes, even in the middle of the season, you will understand the plot, because is so expository and on the nose all the time.
I noticed that in many kids cartoons. They keep repeating the names and every few scenes give a little rundown about what was happening.
Is a soup opera like a soap opera?
@@LindaAnderson-xz1mq No, it's much tastier.
In my experience (having grown up around a lot of younger kids), it’s common for young children to OFTEN repeatedly use people’s names or titles when talking with them.
Soap operas probably educated the last generation to speak poorly. And now, shorts platforms would probably cause the next generation to do even worse.
I kind of think the one with Bilbo and Frodo works because he is giving some new information. Everyone (including Frodo) always thought Bilbo did it out of kindness and empathy but now he finally reveales that it was in fact out of selfishness.
It could surely be written better, but I don't think it's that bad.
agreed
It's certainly not an example of "as you know..." because he didn't know.
It sucked, learn to accept your vas taste 😊
I honestly wondered if Bilbo was so awkward saying that dialogue because he was lying. I think he feels really bad about leaving Frodo behind, so making himself less endearing to Frodo in that moment may have been his true underlying reason for saying what he did, which is why Bilbo fumbled so much and it came off like it was a bad, pre-meditated speech. The way Frodo also kind of dismisses what he says after makes me think he could see through the lie. That was always my take on it, but I honestly don't know what the true intention of that dialogue was haha.
@@chimangoestudios nah it doesn't 😊
Some good points here, though each character will be different. Socially awkward characters will sound unnatural or stilted, and characters who are overly nervous or sensitive will have melodramatic moments, etc. The main thing to keep in mind is if it makes sense for the character in that given moment.
found your channel by chance, that tips and advise makes me want to starts writting again. thanks
Jurassic Park had some excellent dialogue. Every character felt so true to form throughout the whole film, and they do such a good job of capturing the range of each character. They get their opportunities for light hearted jabs and jokes as well as their profound thoughts. One of the most well written movies around.
The original? Absolutely. The characters were so well-defined. I need to rewatch it one of these days. It's been too long
Also the characters are easily recognizable from one another through just a line or two of their dialogue.
Alan’s grumpy expertise, Hammond’s grandiose posturing, and Ian’s flirtatious brilliance are all recognizable separately from the characters’ costumes and faces, even by a blind moviegoer. I think that’s key to the success of that dialogue.
JP1 was one of the best movies ever made.
DUDE me and my gf just watched that yesterday for the first time ever! And I even mentioned that their conversations sound and look like they’re having a normal but intriguing talk
It's based on a novel. Many of the conversation is from the book.
Almost anything said by Val Kilmer as Doc Holiday in Tombstone is some of the best dialog ever written. "I have not yet begun to defile myself". "The excitement was more than he could bear."
Amen! [My fight ain't with you, Holliday] "Wyatt Earp is my friend" [Hell- I got lotsa friends] " ... I don't." Chills every time
"I got two guns, one for each of ya"
I've watched that movie many times. The dialog is terrific.
I'm your huckleberry.
He should have won an oscar for that role
Yes, one of the best movies ever.
“They fly now?”
…
“ThEy FLy NoW!”
Chills. Instant chills. This is why 9 is the best SW film.
“It endures in the name of your mother”
Uffff that line was pure fire
Anakin is not in love, he is obsessed, deeply disturbed and unstable, balancing between attraction and hatred, always in an absolute way. That's the subtext.
Would work, if Padme’s response was to be frightened or concerned. Instead she jumps right in. And that’s where it becomes totally unbelievable.
@@chriscolyer2579 She is attracted to him. And she, too, suffers from constraints imposed by the expectations of others. And while his bitter manipulation attempts are awkward, Padmé surely believes that Anakin's underlying feelings toward her are sincere. She cares about him. She may be inclined to try to save him.
This is exactly what I wanted to say.
That's not subtext, he explicitly said "I'm in agony" "I'm hunted by the kiss you should never have given me".. jeez
yeah, my first time watching that dialogue I thought it was pretty cringe like everyone else. but when you think more about it, he's not supposed to be a great communicator. he's a kid who damaged and is barely holding it together. that's kind of the point.
The Firefly series is an unusual example of using poetic language all over the place and making it work as the vernacular of most characters.
Exactly. That's just it, though - it DOES fit the setting and those characters because it IS the way folks speak in that 'verse.
(See also, Deadwood.)
@@satyrosphilbrucato9140 And in the same vein as Deadwood; Justified.
A character like Gandalf is also one who uses poetry a lot, but it makes sense for him to do so cause hes supposed to be wise and a mentor to the fellowship. The problem with poetic dialogue is when a character who isn’t poetic randomly spouts something overly poetic in an unnatural way
"AH - curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"
Great example. It works because they come out with it naturally, as if it's just the way they talk on autopilot, and unless it's an outright joke, the reaction from other characters is low-key, as if they'd heard the phrase before. The camera doesn't stop or linger when someone's delivering a zinger either, it just keeps on tracking and you have to paying attention to pick up the dialogue. Favorites:
"My days of not takin' you seriously are surely comin' to a middle."
"We are out her at the corner of 'no' and 'where'".
"Man walks down the street in a hat like that, people know he isn't afraid of anything."
While your rewrite of the Resident Evil script certainly comes out more naturally, it's missing one key thing, and that's the inclusion of the phrase "Jill sandwich"
Agree with this! The fact is, Resident Evil was not the example to use because the game is meant to be campy, goofy, shockley horror, and it's what put the Survival horror genre on the map in gaming. In that way, it is masterfully written, but that has more to do with authorial intent, bad voice acting becoming comedy gold, and the fact the game wasn't meant to be taken too seriously. It has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not the writing is inherently "good" or inherently "bad".
Besides, the fact that he wasn't keeping examples in the same core genres to begin with really makes it hard to take his writing advice seriously... not because I think it's in bad faith. I just think that people who are writers often critique what they fail to understand from certain mediums and stylized tropes... solid writing for a video game is not the same as solid writing for a comic book, for example.
I mean, half of what he calls bad writing rules in this video are anime and gaming "gold standards" at this point. If it were truly so "bad" they wouldn't be done so regularly, so that just can't be the case. It must mean these styles of writing are only "bad" within a very particular contexts.
In Resident Evil I can speak to the most fatal flaws in his arguments this the most. Berry and Jill are outlined as entire characters right there in that moment, highlighted as who they are through this moment of levity. Jill is very formal and she does state the names of other characters constantly. That is a character quirk that she carries even into Resident Evil 3, so that was actually intentional. Berry is the "dad joke" type of father, and given what we know about the way he was manipulated to betray S.T.AR.S. later on, this scene not only fits, it was entirely subtext for why Berry is the way he is throughout the entire game.
He's hiding something, acting against his true wishes, and when the dialogue was changed, all of that subtext actually got removed. Punchy writing is only more "valuable" if the context still actually fits, that "fix up" only removes information, it doesn't offer any in return...
That was very interesting, not to mention, well designed explanation with great examples.
As a beginner wannabe writer that I am,
I just wanted to say that I learned a LOT
Thrilled it helped! Thanks for watching
hmm is it just me or should the first "a" there be a "the"?
One of my favorite examples of flowery poetic language from a gruff character is Gimli in the Fellowship of the Ring in which Legolas asks what gift he asked Galadriel for. Not only does he reply to Legolas that "I have taken my worst wound at this parting, having looked my last upon that which is fairest. Henceforth I will call nothing fair unless it be her gift to me." , but he tells Galadriel, when asked what gift that they could give to him, "To look upon the lady of the Galadhrim one last time, for she is more fair than all the jewels beneath the earth." Throughout the remainder of the movie(s) (and the books) he is crass, grumpy, sarcastic, and boastful, but very seldom wistful like this instance.
Yeah it’s unfortunate how Jackson used Gimli as comedic relief when he was no less poetic and graceful as any other character in the books.
@@Csizzorhandz I also lament not showing either the glittering caves or the beauty of Mirkwood parts of their friendship. A multi-millennia gap in Elf-Dwarf relations is ended and it is not even really explored beyond "How about next to a friend"?
This is also such a good example because Gimli compares the beauty of Galadriel to jewels, something that a dwarf would find beautiful. It keeps him in character, and shows exactly how beautiful he found her, more beautiful than the most beautiful thing a dwarf could ever find.
I watched these videos in backwards order but all are great, thank you
Great to see you added video game references, especially Castlevania.
SotN is a classic
A lot of these examples and reasons why they are good/bad are very subjective, I personaly think your example of a "as you know Bob" moment from LOTR is a really good scene where Bilbo acrually confesses to his own selfishnes and the audience gets a deeper understanding of his maturity since it often takes a lot of self understanding and growth to actually be honest about ones own flaws,
Exactly, it's all subjective
Yeah, especially considering Bilbos Age. "As you know.. " is perfectly good old people speech.
"As you know Bob, I have been working the factory all my life " .. "Yes Grandfather you told me .. about fifty times .. today. "
Yeah, I took it as a confession. Maybe Frodo knew that, but this was the first time Bilbo said it out loud.
It's not the selfish part that's the problem, it's the 'I took you in when your parents died' bit that's the issue.
Even that wasn't really well delivered though. Especially when someone says they're selfish. It comes off kind of wooden and if anything gives the impression that they're overstating something they see in themselves, maybe airing an insecurity. Few people are actually aware of the true depth of their flaws, or if they were they'd probably be taking steps to solve them, and trying to suppress them in the meantime. Bilbo just saying it straightforward and aloud the way he did doesn't really mean much because of that.
A better delivery would have been more like Frodo asking like, "I've been thinking recently, and I was wondering, why did you take me in when my parents passed?" It plays into the 'attack' side while still giving exposition, and so it comes more naturally than Bilbo rather abruptly bringing up, "Well, as you know, your parents died and I took you in, and I'm not sure why I did that."
New writer, never looked at Dialogue that way. This what makes a story special. The characters conversation flow better. Like the emotion is not earned. Angry or passionate out bursts.
Thanks for watching!
It's important to ask yourself why the audience should care about anything you're presenting them.
For example, if I don't care about a character, I don't care about them being mad. I don't care about why they're mad. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be mad, but you need to be aware that the audience isn't going to care about that character yet, and not be expecting them to.
My favorite bad dialogue was from The Flash Gordon movie:
Flash, I love you, but we only have 14 hours to save the Earth
This was a fun video to watch. As I was watching, I recalled a story fragment that I had written during High School that I had sent to a friend. He took this fragment of a story, like just a scene in a movie and wrote an entire story, where the character I had written was on the run and turns into both a fish out of water story, and a 'significant leap in technology' appears as magic to the characters he encounters.. The cliche "Take me to your leader" was one line that I had to scrub along with many other 'bubble-gum' like phrases. Thank you for having a fun video with the examples you utilized.. Bravo.
To be fair to Star Wars, Anakin was supposed to be a weird kid, with fear and emotion literally driving his character arc to the dark side
to be fair to the audience, writers were supposed to be able to write weird emotional kids better than that...
And it sounds like a soap opera because George thought of it (and called it) a 'Space Opera'. Take the movie for what it is, not what you want it to be. He was aiming for the Flash Gordon of the 1930s serials but everyone was interpreting and comparing it to The Empire Strikes Back. Which is not at all what he was aiming for in the prequels.
@@TheOmegaXicor Let's stop pretending Vader was anything 'other' than a spoiled brat who had no control over his emotions? Hayden Christensen played the part perfectly.
People always act like he was totally out of character for him as if he didn't literally choke people to death 'just' for delivering bad news...
@Grigarel yep, but no matter how much I tell myself that is why the part was written like that, and why they cast that actor, still some acting is just so bad you cant blame the writing and if you cant recast you should cut your losses and the scene. Those words should have worked to show Anakin is very very subjective- no understanding of wider picture or princesses responsibilities...
I was about to say that. I don't like the scenes on attack of the clones but I think the dialogues are ok onthe scene with Padme... Anakin actually has an underlying problem, he is struggling with the feelings he is having for Padme and the responsability to become a great Jedi. So he is trying to describe very clearly what he feels. The scene is really not good, the intention of it is amazing.
Padme´s outfit doesn help so much either, hehe....
A great line from John Wick is the simple ‘Oh’ people drop when they hear his name. It builds up the character, makes you want to know more and keeps you engaged, says that he is not to be messed with and is a good laugh, all in one word which isn’t even a word ! Also I have to shoot out about Jacques Prévert, a wonderful French poet who wrote a few movies and was a master at having real people being poetic all the time while always being or feeling real. Unbelievable stuff. (He penned the iconic « T’as d’beaux yeux, tu sais. »
Finally, perhaps the best line in all movie history is probably (SPOILER FOR E.T. !!!) this final ‘ouch’.
Like when Viggo asks Aurelio why he hit his son. "Because he stole John Wick's car and killed his dog."
The response - "Oh" - tells you everything you need to know.
In that instant, Viggo knows his life and plans and legacy are doomed and there's absolutely nothing he can do about it.
Brilliant dialogue.
If you approach Anakin's confession as something more Medieval, more formal, something a knight might have to say to the lady he loves, it makes more sense. I agree he could have just said "Why did you give me that kiss?!" and made it clear through acting that he was pained by the memory and wanted more, but still.
Happy to have stumbled upon your channel // Great work, my friend!!
Thrilled to hear it!
The best Hound dialogue was the chicken scene. I don’t know who came up with that stuff but it was gold!
“You gonna die for some chickens?”
Hound: “Someone is.”
I love that one... I call it the "Chicken Joy Commercial"
Melodrama can be done good if it’s a flash forward, and throughout the story you start to understand why and how it gets to that point.
Yep, if such a scene raises the right questions, it can pull an audience along
People should really broaden their horizons and read at least Brontes or Byron if they are too cool for good ole Willie. By this video's definition Hamlet is the worst thing ever written, *stabs Polonius*... Polonius: "Oh I am slain". No fucking shit, you drama queen! xD Jokes aside, seriously, people should read classic literature. Back to the Future and Dark Knight as examples of literary perfection in writing, really? What next, the immortal monologues of Ninja Turtles? The deep philosophical ramifications of Karate Kid? COME ON!!! :3
@@KasumiRINA i started reading some classics, only a couple, but my god did they know prose... i suppose thats why these few authors are still standing after all this time
@@KasumiRINA Shakespeare is great because it is obvious he is a giant on whose shoulders stand the writers that come after. His works are taught and analyzed ad infinitum and their significance is widely recognized.
But if someone found a lost work of Shakespeare and published it now under their name, thinking they would join him as one of the greats, I suspect no one would find the work good or even engaging. A few people would read it and commend the Shakesperean inspiration. That would be it.
@@KasumiRINAThat's like telling a modern gunsmith to study flint knapping to improve the new railgun design that they've been struggling with. Things evolve and the old ways, although we owe them a great deal, become obsolete. It's crazy to imply that the handful of famous classical authors somehow were so genius that they've not been improved upon by the tens of thousands of predecessors over the centuries. On top of that, so much has already been based on these authors works that all their ideas now seem cliche. If you must dig through history, at least look for stories that aren't well known and don't constitute the base scaffolding of the modern storytelling landscape.
Back to the Future dialogue also included Marty discussing his views on his younger mother, excellent subtle foreshadowing!
Great video! Clear concise and very well thought out. Thank you so much!
That John wick examples is superb. I also admire the foreshadowing in John wick, the pencil story
Yep. So many amazing things going on in that movie. Love it.
That whole movie was subtext. From the obvious stuff like "No business on Continental grounds, or there will be HEAVY penalties", to subtler stuff like "I've lost 20 kilograms", which is code for "There are 20 people in there defending Yosef."
In this context, I think the John Wick example misses the point.
Beginner writer: "How to I convey to the reader something that all the characters already know?"
This video: "Here's this wonderful dialog where boss guy tells his son something his son doesn't know."
"All your base are belong to us."
The most epic translated dialogue in history.
10/10
How are you gentlemen?
@@Ashfold_Eberesche I'm good, thank you. Now I should inform you that you have no chance to survive, make your time. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Don't forget "this guy are sick"
"The truck have started to move."
Surrender now or be made dead.
This is gold. I've love to her your take on the writing of Alien 3.
I know this is an old video but, as a non-writer, I want to thank Mr. McNulty for the best piece of advice I've ever had to improve my writing. I would know that in a scene that certain information passes from Character A to Character B via dialogue, but everything I wrote was just poorly done. The simple "Attack/Defend" point what was I needed to hear (with examples) and suddenly everything just fell into place, resulting in a much much better story. THANK YOU!
The lord of the rings dialogue is actually really good and reflects bilbo and the context and events that happened and are about to happen
My two favourite bits of exposition where they skirted the "as you know" skilfully are: 1) the scene in _Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels_ where Winston gives Charles a hard time about not using the cage, in which he basically infodumps the whole operation for the benefit of the audience - and sets up a major plot point - but does so in a way that sounds like a natural "bollocking" (and we learn a lot about three of the four characters in that scene) and 2) the scene in _The Expanse_ where someone unwisely explains to Chrisjen Avasarala, of all people, that due to the distance involved and the speed of light, the data is delayed by about 20 minutes and she snaps "I know how the fucking thing works!"
In both cases, all people involved knew the information that was being imparted, but the dialogue and delivery conveyed it in a way that still made the exchanges seem plausible and in keeping with the characters involved.
That Avasarala interaction is really great. And it feels natural, it's just someone talking platitudes casually, as human beings often do, but with a very human reaction to it. I can almost see that exchange happening in an actual government + military meeting in a moment of crysis.
@@lenon3579ify Yeah. I can think of a number of legitimate reasons why he might say that - ranging from genuine ignorance of how much Avasarala was aware through buying himself time to compose himself to being a condescending shit - so it doesn't come across as an "as you know" moment.
This was so instructive! Thank you for the insight!
This was incredibly insightful. Thank you for your help!
Resident Evil’s dialogue and voice acting is freaking amazing. Never change it. 😂
No, it is godawful and everyone involved is embarrassing to behold. Never change it. 😂
@@Barry.Hughes Games: Good; Movies: Bad
@@80PercentAshamedOfU the movies weren't bad, they just weren't Resident Evil, unless you mean the most recent two that were released together in Dec 2021, in which case they were Resident Evil and they were bad...so very bad...maybe if they had focused on making one movie instead of two it would have been great, and Resident Evil, but they didn't and it wasn't...
Yeah, no kidding, lol... and when he changed it, he took out the subtext. Berry is the "dad joke" of a father, Jill is the overly formal person. When the guy in the video removed the stuttering Berry does and his joke, they actually removed the subtext that Berry is actually behaving strangely (against his wishes), and acting counter to what he says he's doing. The subtext attached to the fact he's being manipulated by Wesker got entirely erased...
So, either this man did not play resident evil, and has no idea what on earth he's actually talking about in the first place. Or, he's one of those guys who just spews writing rules around without understanding the genera attached to them... I don't think this video was in bad faith, but I do think he needs to be more aware of the subject matter he is discussing when choosing his examples.
"punchy" and "straightforward" dialogue, does not mean it is good. So he fundamentally made it worse by removing information beneficial to the player regarding Berry's disposition, who he is as a person, and the fact that he is a very bad and incredibly awkward liar.
Just excellent. I feel like I know my characters' voices better just from watching this and reframing my mind to the task of writing their conversations properly.
Awesome, glad it helped!
Incredible advice as always, Sir!
Just subbed and your already helping me with ideas for my short horror film ideas
Note, this is what's considered good dialogue in Western style writing, which is predicated on conflict. Japanese dialogue aims to convey aesthetics of characters, hence why anime often has lots of back and forth commentary of what characters think of each other's values. It is not particularly bad dialogue.
Japan is not only anime you know. Example of Kurosawa's dialogue is quite aesthetic yet restrained enough unlike most anime.
@@SaveThePurpleRhino not saying it was.
Yeah that was the main thing that stood out to me as being weird. Good dialogue has purpose. Good storytelling has purpose. Sometimes that purpose is conflict. Other times it’s aesthetic. It can be all sorts of things. But it all should have purpose in the end. That’s the bottomline there
Indeed. Current American media seems always on rushed agenda. (Make this scene convey 8 things at once, and do it in 6 seconds).
If you look at older writing that holds it weight in the modern era, it does not feel the need to do this unless it's appropriate.
Jane Austen: You can't properly convey the jarring discomfort of the social faux-pa in Emma, without a proper buildup of the expectation of their enjoying a sublime leisure day trip, the friendships being lived out in time spent together. So when years of friendship are so roughly despised and Emma's cold heartedness revealed, the weight is palpable.
You feel and care about the people - *because you were a part as you watched the group bond and come close.*
Watching those same people look away uncomfortably then find excuses to wonder off and distance is an almost painful contrast to having watched them draw close.
Most movie adaptations of Emma are far too rushed to do this scene well.
It is with ease that I can recommend the 2 part BBC version over the others, as unlike the others, this *stands out as not feeling rushed and very much at home with dwelling in moments.*
The melodrama point about exclamation was covered by Terry Pratchett in "Eric" - “Multiple exclamation marks,' he went on, shaking his head, 'are a sure sign of a diseased mind.”
GNU Sir Terry
@@1minion203 Can't stop the signal, Mal.
@@Alcagaur1 also a good line. Firefly/Serenity was full of them
we all know you just wanted to put that john wick scene in there. Legend
One of my favorite poetic lines in cinema is from Patton. He's looking at the battlefield post-combat and is describing the general horrors of war to himself but caps it off with "but I love it!"
The Castlevania reference had me laughing. Great writing advice.
BUT ENOUGH TALK! HAVE AT YOUR WRITING!
He has no idea how many times I repeated that dialog as a kid. It's seared in my brain.
There is a scene in the first episode of Breaking Bad. They talk about veggie bacon and hot water, but there are so many hidden meanings behind the words that it perfectly illustrates their family dynamic.
Melodrama = Emotion that is not earned. That's a wonderful definition! Thanks 🙂
11:50 as soon as you said gruff and nasty i thought of the Hound and his lessons to Arya, then boom he's your example! Love it haha. Great vid