What You NEED to know about Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, the Male Gaze, and the VMAs
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- Wow that's a LONG title. This week's video is about all of those things and more, though. Living in a patriarchal society is something that so many people assume is just a given, but how much do you know about the impact the male gaze has on internalized homophobia, biphobia, and coming out later in life?
I'll tell you, there's a DIRECT connection between all of them. And in light of the fall out from a certain performance at the VMA's this year, it is time to talk about it. So check out this week's Ask a Therapist video to understand the connection, see how it has impacted your life, and what you may be able to do about it. #malegaze #lgbt #biphobia
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This was beautifully done! I will be coming back to this video. I’m working on untangling my internalized homophobia/biphobia so I embrace myself.
Hugs*.
I'm so glad you found this helpful, AND that this is something you are finding space to work on for yourself 🧡🧡
This is soooo good! I did these things. Dove into religion and ran for 10 more years!! Finally just came out at 34…
Feels like you took a peek into my life before making this video. Thank you very much🙏
Thank you for watching! 💚💚💚
You're talking about my WHOLE life! Thanks, Kelly! Body count is a disgusting term.
It sounds like something that you’d ask about a serial killer 🫣
RIGHT?!?! Gross 🧡🧡
Hey Kelly, thanks for the amazing video once again! However, what VMAs performance are you talking about? I haven’t seen it and I don’t know who you’re referring to. Anyways like I said, great video ❤
I’m wondering too. I don’t keep up with this kind of thing but I googled who performed at the VMAs and Chappel Roan did so I’m presuming it was something to do with that? Part of me wants to know but most of me can’t be bothered spending my time finding out.
Oh its def not CR lol. It was Katy Perry's performance of I'm his, he's mine. 💜💜
@@KellyRMinter ohhhh, well tbh I’m glad it wasn’t Chappel cos she’s getting a lot of hate that she doesn’t deserve right now. I also don’t know any Katy Perry music from the past decade so I’m still lost but I’ll check it out, I’m interested now!
Sigh… yes. 38. Just starting to come out as bi. I’ve even called myself bi-sapphic, as in, having a tendency towards women. I do have a level of attraction to many genders, but I am also afraid to shut the door on any possibilities. I live in the boonies, have extremely conservative parents, and I’m neurodivergent & already struggle in understanding socially normative behaviors. Much of my life has been centered around trying to please, and simultaneously defy, the patriarchy. To say I feel lost is an understatement.
I’m sorry you’re struggling and amongst people who may not support you. I came out at 29 as gay because it seemed like a catch all term to use but if I’m honest I think I like queer best. It isn’t a box, it’s open for you to change. Please don’t put pressure on yourself to fit your entire being into a predetermined box that might limit you. You don’t owe anyone anything. If you decide you’re gay on a Monday, bisexual on a Tuesday, lesbian in a Thursday and queer on a Friday, that’s absolutely fine and no one’s business. You do you and love yourself as best you can. Good luck 💕
@dolcesuono9 I can totally see why All of those parts would come together to make it really hard to feel like you have a direction. Community can be hard to find 💚💚
@@MissBlueEyeliner Thank you, I really appreciate your input. I also prefer the term queer, but find people don’t really understand it around here. I think even Bi would be confusing! Like, “pick a side, straight or gay.” ☠️
@@KellyRMinter Thank you. Yes, it’s difficult. But I’m trying. Maybe things will settle in my mind a bit when I have at least a couple friends I can open up to.
I’m queer and trans (though I’m not out to my family). I have an aunt who is pretty liberal. But she told me that my masculine gender presentation and my attraction to women is “a phase” and constantly mocks my choice of gender presentation.
Her daughter accused me of having internalized misogyny because I dress masculine. And she gave me a dirty look when she mentioned how it would be gross if she had female strippers at her bachelorette party. I didn’t even mention it, her mom was making a joke about hiring a stripper and my cousin decided to bring up female strippers. It’s crazy how otherwise progressive people can be so homophobic.
I’m so sorry that that’s you situation and that’s who you’re surrounded by. Just know that your aunt isn’t liberal at all with that attitude, just possibly a little less conservative that the others around you. It’s crazy how people think anyone’s sexuality and gender expression is any of their business. I hope that there are other LGBTQ people in your life or at least people you can talk to online 💕
@reed5016 I am so sorry that is the way they have decided to treat you. You do NOT deserve that. ❤️❤️
@@MissBlueEyeliner Yeah, I have queer friends. And one gay cousin. So it’s good that I’m not the only one.
@@KellyRMinter Thanks. It’s an unfortunate situation, but I’m glad I have a support system.
Thanks so much for this video. I'm finding a lot of homophobia in the world right now. Many people ask me if I have considered transitioning because I am a butch. It seems like lesbian couples are expected to be two attractive femmes or a transman and femme. Otherwise a butch just makes people extra uncomfortable.
I am so sorry that is what you are experiencing right now. That is in no way fair to you, who you are and how you choose to express that to the world should be respected, it is not ok that people feel like their expectations of how your relationship "should" be is pushed on you. 🩷🩷🩷
The Late bloomer lesbians on Reddit would deffo benefit from this message!
I mean, feel free to link wherever you see fit 😉
Can you add internalized transphobia as well?
Absolutely. This is a video that is long overdue. 💜💜💜
I'm sorry, are you trying to womansplain the male gaze to me?
I'd LOVE to answer this, but first can you tell me the definition of "womansplain" you are using?
I do not think I need to know about any of these things, thanks. You're welcome to your conspiracy theories, but I'm honestly not interested.
Why did you watch the video babe
What’s the conspiracy?