My friend, the solution is: Tell the elders that you have already consulted a lawyer and he said that this is coercion and he will take a LAWYER to the judicial committee. The elders are directed to dissolve the judicial committee and close the matter…. and will not contact you verbally or electronically... then you will not be disfellowshipped and you will not be intimidated //// They are cowards when this is brought to justice!!!!
I like this idea of saying you are bringing a lawyer to the judicial meeting. Could this actually work? I would love to hear an experience if there is one.
@@richardrodriguez9194 Hello, I'm an elder and I reported everything I know about the watchtower // so the elder wanted to take me to the judicial committee…. How do I know and have studied how I should handle the matter (They would advise you to close the case)
@@richardrodriguez9194 happened to me-- I discovered that we are manipulated by the Governing body in 2002 so until 2018 I remained an elder and we observed the operating modes of deception, in 2018 I questioned the body of elders about the Australian court… so they formed a judicial committee and then I I presented it to a lawyer… they closed the case and DID NOT disassociate me ///
Yes he needs to take his own lawyer. Don't get disfellowshipped. You will not be able to see his son. Wouldn't he be shunned. They are effectively telling you they have power over your relationship with your son.
I don’t agree. Fight for not being disfellowshipped in order to uphold a good relationship with your child for the years to come. Do nothing would be my advice. Tell them to stay away from your life, or you will go after them for harassment. Do not invite yourself in to an elders meeting.
That's a losing battle. There is nothing legally to halt being disfellowshipped. It's not a legally binding condition and secular entities have no control over the bullshit practices of different religions. There is no such thing as fighting to not be disfellowshipped. It's not a thing.
@@bevsandell8620 There will be so many JW leaving the org., they need to hear his excellent rebuttals of the broadcast and conventions!!!! Lloyd’s videos helped me so much in my own journey out of the org.
I woke up 2018, Thanks to You Lloyd. As an ex MS i have to say that the harrasment is an Usual behavior among the elders and against the jw's base level
That’s horrible man I feel for this guy. As they say cults are easy to join but when you want to leave it’s hard or if they kick you out it’s hard because either way you’re either looked down on or shunned. This should be a hate crime charged against any organization that does this by promoting it to their congregants.
The easy way to stop 🛑 all this is for the US Government to take away their US501c3 Tax Exemption. If the Authorities do this, the WTBTS will have to sell a whole bunch more Real Estate!😂😮😅😊🧐😳🤫🤣😵💫🤔😎🇺🇸 14:13
He could sue them for harassment. And say that legally they have no right to do anything to him or his ex. They take it up at a courthouse!!! Done. Thet want to keep his family from him even more reason to call them out on harassment and invasion of privacy...
Is sad to hear what the elders are doing to him, i wanted to fade away but my mother and elders were chasing me down so ended up getting disfellowshipped
He has to decide whether it’s worth pursuing a court action to put a stop to the harassment or let it go. What’s crazy is that this organization has so much control over not just their members but anyone ancillary to them.
I will never forget the elders coming up to my job on my lunch break to Disfellowship me. I was 19 years old!!! I worked with a sister who reported my “worldly” behavior… smh.
Loved the way you also saw it through his ex’s eyes. Hopefully she will be less vindictive if she has a chance to move on. Additionally, at the moment, rather than the org., she’s probably blaming you for any problems in her life. She’ll be getting lots of support to do that from the congregation. Take away that crutch and things may be different for everyone. Who knows, she may even wake up.
I am so waiting for the elders to contact me so I can show them the inside of me,I don't give a damn about my family who don't speak to me ,I have a whole wide friends who are not JW and I am not miserable and bored any more
If that man was Jamaican the elders would never mess about if he really decided to leave,you have another life enjoy, enjoy more power to you 😂😊one love
I would tell them: Upon learning about the rampant CSA issue and the two witness rule, I do not believe this is the "true" religion and I am not bound by your rules. If my name is announced without mentioning this reason I will pursue legal action. This will release his wife and prevent his name from being announced. I also know 2 people here in Texas that have done this and haven't been announced as disassociated or disfellowshipped.
I don't think so. If your friends have escaped announcement, it certainly isn't because they threatened using CSA issue as a foundation. There's some other reason.
I know how he feels. I went through this with my parents. My self righteous mother did this to my dad and the elders came to his work to humiliate him. She got her scriptural divorce but not for another man. She was vindictive. Your advice to him was good. That’s about all he can do.
Not only was I harassed and bullied by a supervisor because of the anointed ones, but i was removed from the schedule, and filthy diabolical lies were spread about me. NOW I REALIZE I WASN'T WRONG, NEITHER AM I THE ONLY ONE. The truth has a way of coming out.
I would like to see more people bring a lawyer to these proceedings or even contest them in court considering the harm it causes. If anything it would draw attention to the matter.
I think my opinion Mr. Evans for this gent on the phone would be, if it's going to happen I would disassociate. Go down on his terms instead of having to deal with a Judicial committee and their questions.
I think the caller should divorce from a secular perspective and move on. If she wants to look for “scriptural” reasons she can do that on her own. I wouldn't bow to the elders and yes I would threaten to sue the organization and each individual “Brother”.
Elders left me alone for years. They knew I was living with my now husband before we married, I did all other things like voted and joined Pride that they could kicked me out and my mom told them all to elders, but they didnt contact me. I think your issue is only cos your ex want to get re-married. Without her I think it could be like I was living years. I left from org but I think I could stay like that forever. But I didnt want to do anything with that cult, not even be a member.
Same for me. I left and the elders didn't want me to dissaociate even though I offered. Shared photos of celebrating birthdays and Christmas on FB and they're leaving me alone. I think it depends on the elders and congregation.
@@jason.B182 It totally depends on the local "leadership". All org policies are pushed to varying degrees depending on the conservative vs. liberal attitudes of the present body.
I had a sexual relationship with a man just to completely free myself from my ex husband. I was hoping they would dissfellowship me but I was put on public reproof. It is a shame what you have to go through to get out of this cult. Since most of the elders in my old congregation are old or have died I don't get harrased that often by them or people from the congregation.
Ditto on your story. The difference in my case was I told them flat out I didn't want to be a jw anymore. This was a long time ago. They were stunned, and it took three exhausting meetings to convince them.
I met with them once after being inactive for at least a year. I told them upfront that I would share information I knew about some frisky activities they were trying to clarify involving other members, but that by no means was I going to repent or even attempt to avoid being disfellowshipped. One meeting, I was df'd the next week and I've only had one phone call from an elder in the past 20 years. Even that one was 18-19 years ago.
I totally agree with Lloyd's take. He had a good run for many years. I wouldn't even entertain sitting with them for another meeting. They already have your confession, that's it. Nothing more to be said. They can disfellowship you without any further contact and I would just let them have at it. Wash your hands of it. As far as family, it's another display of hypocrisy if they've had contact with you all this time, likely knowing that you're in another relationship, and are fine to continue contact UNTIL the technicality of being DFd kicks in. You're the same person for 7-8 years and they know it. This just shows that congregation members do very little based on principle and only apply keeping away from "worldly" friends and family until straight up forced to by peer pressure, and not because they honestly hate your lifestyle. Morally, I'm a better person now than I ever was as a baptized JW, yet this is the "me" that they can have nothing to do with. Go figure.
You know when elders stopped to harass me? When they came to my work to inform me about judical thing and so i yelled at them in front of all coworkers and customers (in groceries) so they started to shake and ran away. Unfortunately they lied to the congregation and told them i asked them to no longer be known as JW. You cannot win this decently. If they want to disfellowship you, they will no matter what you do. What you can do is show them they have no power over you. I mean they are not your elders. They are some creep dudes who annoy you. So act according to it.
Absolutely! They aren't "elders" to you anymore. You don't have to have a single shred of respect for their hierarchy or recognize them as being of any significance. I think he did the cool thing by saying just enough to allow his ex to proceed with her fcked up life, but that's it. The favor is done.
This reminds me of Linda Curtis book 'shunned' although I was happy for this woman 'finding herself' I did feel a lot of sympathy for her spouse who was still left in the organisation longing to be free to marry and this not being revealed to him for a long time, I feel so sorry for this man only because his child is involved, what a catch 22 situation dammed whatever course he decides to take, the elders must obey god as ruler rather than men they will not drop this, I hope the child is of sufficient maturity so that he can explain the situation and the reason of why he is confessing now and that it comes from a place of nobility and for the benefit of his ex wife, this may get the child to question why this bizarre situation exists and hopefully take away misdirected anger towards this father. I'm so sorry about your situation I hope everything will turn out OK in the end and your don't loose contact with your child 💙💔 thank you for all your content Lloyd
I am a jamaican I am 66 years of age,was born and raised a jw all my family are (mother's side )JW also my children,I left the cult 2016 I am waiting for the elders to contact me
Personally I’d play the game, go back to the meetings for 12 months, get reinstated then fade. I know someone who did this, she faded 10 years ago and all her family speak to her on a technicality. I appreciate not everyone could do this and you always have to factor in people shunning you after you fade. Only you know how your family would react. Good luck
@@sandersson2813 I Agree It Is A Sinister Cult Which May Never Change Its Shunning Policy. If I Knew It Could Work I Would Rather Waste A Year Of My Life Sitting At The Back Of A Kingdom Hall Twice A Week Watching Videos Than Have Years Wasted Missing My Family. Just My Opinion But I Understand Where You’re Coming From
@@TheTower73 Why are you capitalising every word? Why would you belong to ANY religion when not a single one is supported by ANY evidence, and especially given the Bible is so immoral and the god of that book just an absolute arsehole. There is nothing good done by religion that can't be done without it, so why would you bother?
Too late. You will be disfellowshipped. My guess is that one of those elders, or someone close to them, is having a relationship with your ex-wife. There is nothing you can do to stop this from happening. I would still seek legal advice, though.
I agree with you, but I dont get the legal advice aspect. That's nothing but a pain in the butt and checkbook, I wouldn't even engage. He already told them she was free to remarry, you just block phone numbers now or give them one hell of an ass chewing one time.
If that would have been my ex. I would have told her. I would live the rest of my life in celebat. because she wants me to say something. so she could start a new relationship. So she has three options. leave JW, live in celibat or say she was adulturus and take that punishment.
Technically, she never needed his confession to free her for remarriage. It's as simple as a vehicle belonging to the member of the opposite sex being in his driveway overnight is all they require to prove inappropriate behavior. All she ever had to do was photograph his house for 24 hours and have a friend with her. Boom. Two witnesses and done. If she wasn't up for that, she could hire a private detective to find proof he was having a relationship. Would've take a day. That she kept it on ice for 8 years was just stupid.
@@Eric_01 photos or videos are not allowed as evidence. I had and it was rebuked. So in 2024 you have to be 4 people in a car sitting outside someones house the entire night. In Europe this would never work. It would take less then an hour before someone would see you & call the cops, the house owner or a neighbor, or a police patrol would come by and wonder why 4 men are sitting in a car outside a house 3 in the morning. I you refuse to leave you get arrested. Same if you came back 3-4 hours later. By then you have not technically been outside all night and your case is dead. This rule is nothing but insane!
I would tell the elders that I have been away for 7 years and no longer represent myself as a JW. So, I am not bringing notoriety to the organization. I didn't want my ex to be held hostage so I was truthful with you. Just leave me to continue on as I have and I promise to keep my life from hurting the organization in any way.
As I recall the Shepherd book says to essentially leave a person alone who does not publicly identify as a JW even if they were baptized. Seems to me they should leave you alone
I am confused: if a married couple gets a divorce, and one of them is JW and the other is inactive JW, then the JW x-wife/husband cannot still get remarried?
@eleni1004, Nope, because if the JW couple's marriage didn't end as a result of adultery, and they were divorced in a secular court of law, if they dare get married to anyone else, they will be seen as "adulterers" by the global JW community and will then be forcibly excommunicated from and shunned by the JW denomination. It wouldn't matter if your spouse was physically abusing you. They could only get married to some else if one of them admitted to adultery (even under false pretenses where no adultery was actually committed) and ended up getting disfellowshipped and then applied to be reinstated as a member of their congregation after apologizing for the having engaged in the "sin" of adultery, or if one of them were to die. Outside of those two circumstances, they are not "scripturally free" to marry any else; they're still considered as being "spiritually married" (whatever the hell that's supposed to mean), in other words: they're still metaphorically bonded to each other for all eternity in the eyes of the JW community, and this would be true if a JW's ex-spouse were a lifelong non-Witness or if their spouse was a baptized JW, and then was forcibly disfellowshipped or voluntarily left the Witness Organization and became an ex-JW -- even then, despite having been married to a "worldly" person or to an apostate, the JW person would not be allowed to get married again, not even to a fellow Jehovah's Witness. It's messed up and isn't really fair, I know, but that's how it is with this religious institution.
I think it does seem a little vindictive in regard to the caller's JW ex-wife's part. Not only is the caller being harassed by the Elders of his former congregation, but they're also harassing his Jehovah's Witness coworkers in order to get "incriminating" information about him out of them. In my opinion, it's not up to the caller to attend a Judicial Committee meeting and admit to "adultery" to his former congregation's Elders just so his ex-wife is free to marry another man. She chooses to remain part of the JW denomination, and she chooses to tolerate the JW community's rules on marriage, divorce and remarriage -- as wrong, as unreasonable or as unjust as many of us might feel these rules are -- and I just don't feel that he should play by the Watch Tower Society's rules and make it seem like the Elders still have some level of authority over him just because he ex-wife doesn't want to commit to a life of required celibacy. I feel that if the caller's ex-wife doesn't like the Society's rules on divorce and remarriage, as unjust as unrealistic as I may think they are, then I'd say: she should either leave the JW Organization, or she could advocate for reforming the Society's doctrinal position on such issues because she really has no other recourse. I'd also say to heterosexual cisgender Witnesses who, understandably, feel conflict with the Society's rules on divorce and remarriage and their requirement of Witnesses who have gotten divorced for reasons that don't involve adultery and are then forced to live a life of singleness or be punished for marrying someone else: just imagine how gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender JWs feel when they're given the choice of having to be celibate for the rest of their natural lives, to enter a mixed orientation marriage (a BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN-style marriage, if you will) to someone that they aren't attracted to, or having to face expulsion form their religious community -- they're not allowed to be with another consenting adult whom they're attracted to, and if you wouldn't want to feel compelled to lead a life of celibacy, then why would you want them to go through that experience of never experiencing romantic or sexual intimacy based on what gender they're attracted to -- an opportunity that you have available to you every day that you get to take for granted? And not only that, but imagine if you're a JW in an abusive marriage and you get divorced, you still are forced to be associated with your abusive spouse in a metaphorical sense because marriage is so "sacred" to "God" that God wants you maintain some type of an affiliation with somebody who mistreated, who probably doesn't care about how they hurt you -- whether that harm be psychological, emotional, physical or even sexual; and yes, marital rape is a thing. If you divorced your abusive spouse, you're not allowed to pursue a loving relationship with someone else who treats you right because, apparently, God cares more about your eternal pledge than whether or not your spouse is treating you in a decent, caring, loving manner. To me, there's nothing "sacred" or "honorable" about maintaining even a metaphorical relationship with an abuser over a vow that you made to them. You didn't sign up for the abuse when you slipped a ring onto their finger. The caller no longer identifies as a Jehovah's Witness, and he is under no obligation to play by the Society's rules in any way. He doesn't owe his ex-wife anything either, in my opinion. I think I could understand if she is a really decent person, his not wanting to see her condemned to live the rest of her life alone and not being permitted to find happiness in a loving relationship with someone else, but at the same time, it's also not really his problem if she isn't allowed by her religious community to get married again.
@@Eric_01 Maybe not. I have been out for 15 years basically. I am not DF'd. Just faded away. But my brother calls me an apostate and won't have anything to do with me.
Yea don't be selfish dude you already disfellowshipped in their eyes, don't put your ex in a prison under the prison she's already in, show compassion they won't show
I had a niece that was divorced from her JW husband,the elders in her congregation keeped on harrasing her,one elder was my beother in law,she told them she will get a restraining order, they left her alone.
Become Catholic and your spiritual problems will be solved and no harassment either. To me decide if you want to help and in what way. Do you have to meet? Can it be by mail? If you don't want to or at anytime don't want to tell them to stop communicating with you. If they don't comply get a court order. Make good on it and create a paper trail. They'll leave you alone.
The way i see it is , it's your ex wifes problem, not yours . She's the one that still believes in this cults teachings.. i wouldn't give them anything, and i would tell them where to go and carry on with your life like you have been. I would argue that ur family, unfortunately, is already lost.. lost to this cult.
Whata going on here is this. Your ex wife is already in a romantic relationship with someone and honestly,i will tell you she has engaged in canal knowledge but wont speak about it. She only need you to take the fall so she can have a ground to "scripturally" divorce and get married to whoever she is with. She just need a scapegoat and she isnt going to be the one. Should you try and hire a private investigator to monitor her, you will have evidence of this to use against her.
The thing is this man has been out for too long now living his own life for the past 8yrs. Elders r not the police n cannot make him or anyone go to a meeting n subject him to all sorts of sexual questions for hrs. Thrn have him leave the room like a child then call him back to sayvhe is now disfellowshipped. What his wife does n does not do now is her business. So far he has his family n hes petrifiedvof tge recupcutions of how this is alk going to pan outvbc his child is involved. Mate u get yourself disfellowshipped n more than likely youll loose your family. U have been out 8yrs. Your no longer a JW. Do not gobto anyvekders meetings n confess to anything. (They themselves could be doing sin that they havent confessed. Theyvr just men. Tell them to leave u alone or you'll take legal action against them. They hate that word legal action. My next advice would be tobring the service dept. Be polite but firm. Repeat tge same to them that uvwill take legal action against these elders. Pks tell them to butt out of my life. There is a big chance that they will interfere (bc u have been out so long n now not considered one of jws. Tell them if they dont youll go to the media. I do know of personal cases where this was worked. They want everything to be hush hush handked internally. Mention the word legal action n this organ does not like it. I wish u all the best. I know atm your scared n feel like these bulky elders have one over u. Stand strong n stand up to them. Do this not onky for yourself but for your child. U need yoyr child in your life. But your child needs u. If your child one day decides not to follow his mums religion, he needs u to be there for him. Look at spain, Pennsylvania n csa. Jws r being exposed for their lies n coverups. Honesty ask yourself is your child even safe in a kibgdom hall. Can your wife even guarantee thatvwhen she takes yiyr child there. I wish u all the best.
@Chris-zh1ff, Well, the only authority a JW congregation, like any religious house of worship or any religious group, truly has is the authority that you choose to allow them to have over you. And once you no longer acknowledge their self-appointed authority, their theological and moral authority over you becomes null and void. I would agree with you that nonbelievers have no chance and that that's a shame, but probably not for the same reasons as you -- apostates don't have a chance to leave the JW Organization with their dignity intact. Ad for "righteous" judgment of "Jehovah" being made manifest through Witness congregations --- I don't know about that. I no longer understand how anyone could genuinely be okay with belonging to a religious community that feels they're entitled to know and somehow make you feel like you have to account to them when it comes to your personal business, even if they consider what you're saying or doing as somehow "sinful" -- even though one's behavior doesn't seem to be causing any measurable harm to anyone else. It makes no sense...but to those people I say: whatever floats your ducky, I guess.
Nah, none of that is ever going to happen. It's the same with all Xtians, "god is gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna", but never does. Your congregations are FULL of Peter Files, adulterers, frauds, and PIMO. Your own elders sleep with wives and molest children. I've personally known three elders that committed adultery with married women they were supposed to be "helping". That's quite a lot for just one person to have witnessed. Judgement starts in the congregation?! You'll have to show me some bible text for that wild claim.
Never do I ever hear your wah wah guests upholding Jehovah gods sovereignty by defending him in ANY ACCOUNT OF THEIR STRUGGLE,Jehovah in my experience is eager to intervene in his faithful servants life, over 35 years I have seen how he brings the arrogant elders to their ruin, it’s priceless, if a faithful servant stays close to jah , nothing stumbles them . Even if the fds goes belly up , no big deal to me I have NO INTERMEDIARY BETWEEN JEHOVAH AND MYSELF, they (general jws)leave me alone because they can’ stand the defence of the bible and my God , but I imagine this is not what you want to hear
So you reckon there's no absolute truth ' yet you believe in being perfect which is impossible for sinful mankind ' No doubt Jehovah's Witnesses have the true religion otherwise how is Jehovah going to get the good news preached '
My friend, the solution is: Tell the elders that you have already consulted a lawyer and he said that this is coercion and he will take a LAWYER to the judicial committee. The elders are directed to dissolve the judicial committee and close the matter…. and will not contact you verbally or electronically... then you will not be disfellowshipped and you will not be intimidated //// They are cowards when this is brought to justice!!!!
I like this idea of saying you are bringing a lawyer to the judicial meeting. Could this actually work? I would love to hear an experience if there is one.
@@richardrodriguez9194 Hello, I'm an elder and I reported everything I know about the watchtower // so the elder wanted to take me to the judicial committee…. How do I know and have studied how I should handle the matter (They would advise you to close the case)
@@richardrodriguez9194 happened to me-- I discovered that we are manipulated by the Governing body in 2002 so until 2018 I remained an elder and we observed the operating modes of deception, in 2018 I questioned the body of elders about the Australian court… so they formed a judicial committee and then I I presented it to a lawyer… they closed the case and DID NOT disassociate me ///
Yes he needs to take his own lawyer. Don't get disfellowshipped. You will not be able to see his son. Wouldn't he be shunned. They are effectively telling you they have power over your relationship with your son.
The gaslighting and manipulation is unbelievable in these cults
It is strange, they preach they have critical thinking to see through the false religion lies and in the end they are really worse than the Harlot.
Leaving people alone isn't an option in this business.
I don’t agree. Fight for not being disfellowshipped in order to uphold a good relationship with your child for the years to come. Do nothing would be my advice. Tell them to stay away from your life, or you will go after them for harassment. Do not invite yourself in to an elders meeting.
That's a losing battle. There is nothing legally to halt being disfellowshipped. It's not a legally binding condition and secular entities have no control over the bullshit practices of different religions. There is no such thing as fighting to not be disfellowshipped. It's not a thing.
@@Eric_01 i know that you are not in control of their decisions, but surely don’t invite yourself in to let them make it.
5:00 am in Florida 🌴
Listening to Lloyd … 😊
One thing I want to say:
I really miss the rebuttals to the monthly broadcast!!
Yes, we all do ☹️
I miss them very much also 😢
@@bevsandell8620
There will be so many JW leaving the org., they need to hear his excellent rebuttals of the broadcast and conventions!!!!
Lloyd’s videos helped me so much in my own journey out of the org.
I woke up 2018, Thanks to You Lloyd. As an ex MS i have to say that the harrasment is an Usual behavior among the elders and against the jw's base level
You gave sound advice! Many years ago I went thru something similar, but I was the wife . It just a horrible cult!!
Would be a good idea to threaten to sue. They need to leave you alone. The elders need to get a life!
That’s horrible man I feel for this guy. As they say cults are easy to join but when you want to leave it’s hard or if they kick you out it’s hard because either way you’re either looked down on or shunned. This should be a hate crime charged against any organization that does this by promoting it to their congregants.
At the very least other countries have started to remove the JWs from qualifying as a church due to the shunning practices. It's a start.
The easy way to stop 🛑 all this is for the US Government to take away their US501c3 Tax Exemption. If the Authorities do this, the WTBTS will have to sell a whole bunch more Real Estate!😂😮😅😊🧐😳🤫🤣😵💫🤔😎🇺🇸 14:13
Don't go meet with them keep you personal power!
He could sue them for harassment. And say that legally they have no right to do anything to him or his ex. They take it up at a courthouse!!!
Done. Thet want to keep his family from him even more reason to call them out on harassment and invasion of privacy...
Sounds like middle school kids games. I wouldn't give them nothing
Is sad to hear what the elders are doing to him, i wanted to fade away but my mother and elders were chasing me down so ended up getting disfellowshipped
Same for me..i knew they would never stop..wish i had had the strength to say no to a judicial committee
He has to decide whether it’s worth pursuing a court action to put a stop to the harassment or let it go. What’s crazy is that this organization has so much control over not just their members but anyone ancillary to them.
Missing your regular videos, Lloyd. Hope you are doing well.
I will never forget the elders coming up to my job on my lunch break to Disfellowship me. I was 19 years old!!! I worked with a sister who reported my “worldly” behavior… smh.
Loved the way you also saw it through his ex’s eyes. Hopefully she will be less vindictive if she has a chance to move on. Additionally, at the moment, rather than the org., she’s probably blaming you for any problems in her life. She’ll be getting lots of support to do that from the congregation. Take away that crutch and things may be different for everyone. Who knows, she may even wake up.
It sounds like she just wants to be free to marry not vindictive!
He better hope she wakes up, because that kid they share is already screwed.
I am so waiting for the elders to contact me so I can show them the inside of me,I don't give a damn about my family who don't speak to me ,I have a whole wide friends who are not JW and I am not miserable and bored any more
@gracemorris Good for you!😁
If that man was Jamaican the elders would never mess about if he really decided to leave,you have another life enjoy, enjoy more power to you 😂😊one love
Great advice and perspective Lloyd.
I would tell them:
Upon learning about the rampant CSA issue and the two witness rule, I do not believe this is the "true" religion and I am not bound by your rules. If my name is announced without mentioning this reason I will pursue legal action.
This will release his wife and prevent his name from being announced. I also know 2 people here in Texas that have done this and haven't been announced as disassociated or disfellowshipped.
Great advice
I don't think so. If your friends have escaped announcement, it certainly isn't because they threatened using CSA issue as a foundation. There's some other reason.
@@Eric_01 that's the reason I gave them and they said they used it and they were not announced.
I know how he feels. I went through this with my parents. My self righteous mother did this to my dad and the elders came to his work to humiliate him. She got her scriptural divorce but not for another man. She was vindictive. Your advice to him was good. That’s about all he can do.
Not only was I harassed and bullied by a supervisor because of the anointed ones, but i was removed from the schedule, and filthy diabolical lies were spread about me. NOW I REALIZE I WASN'T WRONG, NEITHER AM I THE ONLY ONE. The truth has a way of coming out.
I would like to see more people bring a lawyer to these proceedings or even contest them in court considering the harm it causes. If anything it would draw attention to the matter.
Give permission to remarry.
I think my opinion Mr. Evans for this gent on the phone would be, if it's going to happen I would disassociate. Go down on his terms instead of having to deal with a Judicial committee and their questions.
I think the caller should divorce from a secular perspective and move on. If she wants to look for “scriptural” reasons she can do that on her own. I wouldn't bow to the elders and yes I would threaten to sue the organization and each individual “Brother”.
Elders left me alone for years. They knew I was living with my now husband before we married, I did all other things like voted and joined Pride that they could kicked me out and my mom told them all to elders, but they didnt contact me. I think your issue is only cos your ex want to get re-married. Without her I think it could be like I was living years. I left from org but I think I could stay like that forever. But I didnt want to do anything with that cult, not even be a member.
Same for me. I left and the elders didn't want me to dissaociate even though I offered. Shared photos of celebrating birthdays and Christmas on FB and they're leaving me alone. I think it depends on the elders and congregation.
@@jason.B182 It totally depends on the local "leadership". All org policies are pushed to varying degrees depending on the conservative vs. liberal attitudes of the present body.
I had a sexual relationship with a man just to completely free myself from my ex husband. I was hoping they would dissfellowship me but I was put on public reproof. It is a shame what you have to go through to get out of this cult. Since most of the elders in my old congregation are old or have died I don't get harrased that often by them or people from the congregation.
Ditto on your story. The difference in my case was I told them flat out I didn't want to be a jw anymore. This was a long time ago. They were stunned, and it took three exhausting meetings to convince them.
I met with them once after being inactive for at least a year. I told them upfront that I would share information I knew about some frisky activities they were trying to clarify involving other members, but that by no means was I going to repent or even attempt to avoid being disfellowshipped. One meeting, I was df'd the next week and I've only had one phone call from an elder in the past 20 years. Even that one was 18-19 years ago.
He’s already given them the evidence,what more do they want
I totally agree with Lloyd's take. He had a good run for many years. I wouldn't even entertain sitting with them for another meeting. They already have your confession, that's it. Nothing more to be said. They can disfellowship you without any further contact and I would just let them have at it. Wash your hands of it. As far as family, it's another display of hypocrisy if they've had contact with you all this time, likely knowing that you're in another relationship, and are fine to continue contact UNTIL the technicality of being DFd kicks in. You're the same person for 7-8 years and they know it. This just shows that congregation members do very little based on principle and only apply keeping away from "worldly" friends and family until straight up forced to by peer pressure, and not because they honestly hate your lifestyle. Morally, I'm a better person now than I ever was as a baptized JW, yet this is the "me" that they can have nothing to do with. Go figure.
I can relate to the harassment, even after everything I still have JW family saying "return to Jehovah"
These assholes send certified letters!!!!! Wow!!! Next level stalkers
You know when elders stopped to harass me? When they came to my work to inform me about judical thing and so i yelled at them in front of all coworkers and customers (in groceries) so they started to shake and ran away.
Unfortunately they lied to the congregation and told them i asked them to no longer be known as JW.
You cannot win this decently. If they want to disfellowship you, they will no matter what you do.
What you can do is show them they have no power over you. I mean they are not your elders. They are some creep dudes who annoy you. So act according to it.
Absolutely! They aren't "elders" to you anymore. You don't have to have a single shred of respect for their hierarchy or recognize them as being of any significance. I think he did the cool thing by saying just enough to allow his ex to proceed with her fcked up life, but that's it. The favor is done.
These are not humans. You don't find humanity among these idiots. The only thing they tell others to do is preach, preach and preach.
This reminds me of Linda Curtis book 'shunned' although I was happy for this woman 'finding herself' I did feel a lot of sympathy for her spouse who was still left in the organisation longing to be free to marry and this not being revealed to him for a long time, I feel so sorry for this man only because his child is involved, what a catch 22 situation dammed whatever course he decides to take, the elders must obey god as ruler rather than men they will not drop this, I hope the child is of sufficient maturity so that he can explain the situation and the reason of why he is confessing now and that it comes from a place of nobility and for the benefit of his ex wife, this may get the child to question why this bizarre situation exists and hopefully take away misdirected anger towards this father. I'm so sorry about your situation I hope everything will turn out OK in the end and your don't loose contact with your child 💙💔 thank you for all your content Lloyd
I am a jamaican I am 66 years of age,was born and raised a jw all my family are (mother's side )JW also my children,I left the cult 2016 I am waiting for the elders to contact me
If you meet with them and admit you been sleeping with someone else they will disfellowship you
Personally I’d play the game, go back to the meetings for 12 months, get reinstated then fade. I know someone who did this, she faded 10 years ago and all her family speak to her on a technicality. I appreciate not everyone could do this and you always have to factor in people shunning you after you fade. Only you know how your family would react. Good luck
Why waste a moment of time in this sinister cult?
@@sandersson2813 I Agree It Is A Sinister Cult Which May Never Change Its Shunning Policy. If I Knew It Could Work I Would Rather Waste A Year Of My Life Sitting At The Back Of A Kingdom Hall Twice A Week Watching Videos Than Have Years Wasted Missing My Family. Just My Opinion But I Understand Where You’re Coming From
@@TheTower73 Why are you capitalising every word?
Why would you belong to ANY religion when not a single one is supported by ANY evidence, and especially given the Bible is so immoral and the god of that book just an absolute arsehole.
There is nothing good done by religion that can't be done without it, so why would you bother?
@@TheTower73 Why are you capitalising every word?
@@sandersson2813 I Think It Looks Pretty
Too late. You will be disfellowshipped. My guess is that one of those elders, or someone close to them, is having a relationship with your ex-wife.
There is nothing you can do to stop this from happening. I would still seek legal advice, though.
I agree with you, but I dont get the legal advice aspect. That's nothing but a pain in the butt and checkbook, I wouldn't even engage. He already told them she was free to remarry, you just block phone numbers now or give them one hell of an ass chewing one time.
@@Eric_01 - Legal advice is not the same as legal action. Many lawyers will give the advice for free or a very low fee.
Oh, & while you are at it, ask them if they want to discuss their 2009 songbook at the police station! They will RUN LIKE HELL!!!
Closure
If that would have been my ex. I would have told her. I would live the rest of my life in celebat. because she wants me to say something. so she could start a new relationship. So she has three options. leave JW, live in celibat or say she was adulturus and take that punishment.
Life is for living,I left the jw organisation and I am so free
Technically, she never needed his confession to free her for remarriage. It's as simple as a vehicle belonging to the member of the opposite sex being in his driveway overnight is all they require to prove inappropriate behavior. All she ever had to do was photograph his house for 24 hours and have a friend with her. Boom. Two witnesses and done. If she wasn't up for that, she could hire a private detective to find proof he was having a relationship. Would've take a day. That she kept it on ice for 8 years was just stupid.
You obviously read the great big bad secret elder's manual .. good for you! .. :)
Do you understand how insane this sounds in year 2024?
@@vestland3877 Yup.
@@janedoe8446 Nah, I have a copy but haven't read it.
@@Eric_01 photos or videos are not allowed as evidence.
I had and it was rebuked.
So in 2024 you have to be 4 people in a car sitting outside someones house the entire night.
In Europe this would never work.
It would take less then an hour before someone would see you & call the cops, the house owner or a neighbor, or a police patrol would come by and wonder why 4 men are sitting in a car outside a house 3 in the morning.
I you refuse to leave you get arrested.
Same if you came back 3-4 hours later.
By then you have not technically been outside all night and your case is dead.
This rule is nothing but insane!
What happened to the rule shedding bad light to Jehovahs name,could these elder be apostates, J.W.rule state they are.
I would tell the elders that I have been away for 7 years and no longer represent myself as a JW. So, I am not bringing notoriety to the organization. I didn't want my ex to be held hostage so I was truthful with you. Just leave me to continue on as I have and I promise to keep my life from hurting the organization in any way.
As I recall the Shepherd book says to essentially leave a person alone who does not publicly identify as a JW even if they were baptized. Seems to me they should leave you alone
I am confused: if a married couple gets a divorce, and one of them is JW and the other is inactive JW, then the JW x-wife/husband cannot still get remarried?
@eleni1004,
Nope, because if the JW couple's marriage didn't end as a result of adultery, and they were divorced in a secular court of law, if they dare get married to anyone else, they will be seen as "adulterers" by the global JW community and will then be forcibly excommunicated from and shunned by the JW denomination. It wouldn't matter if your spouse was physically abusing you. They could only get married to some else if one of them admitted to adultery (even under false pretenses where no adultery was actually committed) and ended up getting disfellowshipped and then applied to be reinstated as a member of their congregation after apologizing for the having engaged in the "sin" of adultery, or if one of them were to die.
Outside of those two circumstances, they are not "scripturally free" to marry any else; they're still considered as being "spiritually married" (whatever the hell that's supposed to mean), in other words: they're still metaphorically bonded to each other for all eternity in the eyes of the JW community, and this would be true if a JW's ex-spouse were a lifelong non-Witness or if their spouse was a baptized JW, and then was forcibly disfellowshipped or voluntarily left the Witness Organization and became an ex-JW -- even then, despite having been married to a "worldly" person or to an apostate, the JW person would not be allowed to get married again, not even to a fellow Jehovah's Witness.
It's messed up and isn't really fair, I know, but that's how it is with this religious institution.
He’s so boring but hang in there mate.
I would ask for my personal records back they have a file on each of us. They are yours and you can see what is written in them
I think it does seem a little vindictive in regard to the caller's JW ex-wife's part. Not only is the caller being harassed by the Elders of his former congregation, but they're also harassing his Jehovah's Witness coworkers in order to get "incriminating" information about him out of them. In my opinion, it's not up to the caller to attend a Judicial Committee meeting and admit to "adultery" to his former congregation's Elders just so his ex-wife is free to marry another man. She chooses to remain part of the JW denomination, and she chooses to tolerate the JW community's rules on marriage, divorce and remarriage -- as wrong, as unreasonable or as unjust as many of us might feel these rules are -- and I just don't feel that he should play by the Watch Tower Society's rules and make it seem like the Elders still have some level of authority over him just because he ex-wife doesn't want to commit to a life of required celibacy.
I feel that if the caller's ex-wife doesn't like the Society's rules on divorce and remarriage, as unjust as unrealistic as I may think they are, then I'd say: she should either leave the JW Organization, or she could advocate for reforming the Society's doctrinal position on such issues because she really has no other recourse. I'd also say to heterosexual cisgender Witnesses who, understandably, feel conflict with the Society's rules on divorce and remarriage and their requirement of Witnesses who have gotten divorced for reasons that don't involve adultery and are then forced to live a life of singleness or be punished for marrying someone else: just imagine how gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender JWs feel when they're given the choice of having to be celibate for the rest of their natural lives, to enter a mixed orientation marriage (a BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN-style marriage, if you will) to someone that they aren't attracted to, or having to face expulsion form their religious community -- they're not allowed to be with another consenting adult whom they're attracted to, and if you wouldn't want to feel compelled to lead a life of celibacy, then why would you want them to go through that experience of never experiencing romantic or sexual intimacy based on what gender they're attracted to -- an opportunity that you have available to you every day that you get to take for granted?
And not only that, but imagine if you're a JW in an abusive marriage and you get divorced, you still are forced to be associated with your abusive spouse in a metaphorical sense because marriage is so "sacred" to "God" that God wants you maintain some type of an affiliation with somebody who mistreated, who probably doesn't care about how they hurt you -- whether that harm be psychological, emotional, physical or even sexual; and yes, marital rape is a thing. If you divorced your abusive spouse, you're not allowed to pursue a loving relationship with someone else who treats you right because, apparently, God cares more about your eternal pledge than whether or not your spouse is treating you in a decent, caring, loving manner. To me, there's nothing "sacred" or "honorable" about maintaining even a metaphorical relationship with an abuser over a vow that you made to them. You didn't sign up for the abuse when you slipped a ring onto their finger.
The caller no longer identifies as a Jehovah's Witness, and he is under no obligation to play by the Society's rules in any way. He doesn't owe his ex-wife anything either, in my opinion. I think I could understand if she is a really decent person, his not wanting to see her condemned to live the rest of her life alone and not being permitted to find happiness in a loving relationship with someone else, but at the same time, it's also not really his problem if she isn't allowed by her religious community to get married again.
Easy, be true to yourself and get the F out. It is stupid to try and walk the line. You are not in, don't want in, then GET OUT.
He is out. Been out for 8 years. I'm not sure you actually understand what is happening.
@@Eric_01 Maybe not. I have been out for 15 years basically. I am not DF'd. Just faded away. But my brother calls me an apostate and won't have anything to do with me.
Yea don't be selfish dude you already disfellowshipped in their eyes, don't put your ex in a prison under the prison she's already in, show compassion they won't show
He did that already.
I had a niece that was divorced from her JW husband,the elders in her congregation keeped on harrasing her,one elder was my beother in law,she told them she will get a restraining order, they left her alone.
Become Catholic and your spiritual problems will be solved and no harassment either. To me decide if you want to help and in what way. Do you have to meet? Can it be by mail? If you don't want to or at anytime don't want to tell them to stop communicating with you. If they don't comply get a court order. Make good on it and create a paper trail. They'll leave you alone.
Why would anyone leave one patently nonsense religion only to join another equally ridiculous and unjustifiable belief?
@@sandersson2813 Right?! What a horrible piece of advice. Christianity as a whole is just different brands of cult indoctrination across the board.
Because every major religion believes their beliefs are the right ones.
@@Ruth72166 Yeah, but before he quit being a JW he didn't believe Catholicism was true, so why does he now?
The way i see it is , it's your ex wifes problem, not yours . She's the one that still believes in this cults teachings.. i wouldn't give them anything, and i would tell them where to go and carry on with your life like you have been. I would argue that ur family, unfortunately, is already lost.. lost to this cult.
Whata going on here is this.
Your ex wife is already in a romantic relationship with someone and honestly,i will tell you she has engaged in canal knowledge but wont speak about it.
She only need you to take the fall so she can have a ground to "scripturally" divorce and get married to whoever she is with.
She just need a scapegoat and she isnt going to be the one. Should you try and hire a private investigator to monitor her, you will have evidence of this to use against her.
The thing is this man has been out for too long now living his own life for the past 8yrs.
Elders r not the police n cannot make him or anyone go to a meeting n subject him to all sorts of sexual questions for hrs. Thrn have him leave the room like a child then call him back to sayvhe is now disfellowshipped.
What his wife does n does not do now is her business.
So far he has his family n hes petrifiedvof tge recupcutions of how this is alk going to pan outvbc his child is involved.
Mate u get yourself disfellowshipped n more than likely youll loose your family.
U have been out 8yrs. Your no longer a JW.
Do not gobto anyvekders meetings n confess to anything. (They themselves could be doing sin that they havent confessed. Theyvr just men.
Tell them to leave u alone or you'll take legal action against them.
They hate that word legal action.
My next advice would be tobring the service dept.
Be polite but firm.
Repeat tge same to them that uvwill take legal action against these elders. Pks tell them to butt out of my life.
There is a big chance that they will interfere (bc u have been out so long n now not considered one of jws.
Tell them if they dont youll go to the media.
I do know of personal cases where this was worked.
They want everything to be hush hush handked internally. Mention the word legal action n this organ does not like it.
I wish u all the best.
I know atm your scared n feel like these bulky elders have one over u.
Stand strong n stand up to them.
Do this not onky for yourself but for your child.
U need yoyr child in your life.
But your child needs u.
If your child one day decides not to follow his mums religion, he needs u to be there for him.
Look at spain, Pennsylvania n csa. Jws r being exposed for their lies n coverups.
Honesty ask yourself is your child even safe in a kibgdom hall. Can your wife even guarantee thatvwhen she takes yiyr child there.
I wish u all the best.
Jehovah will prove he is right judgment starts in the congregation so what chance have the unbelievers go no chance ashame realy
@Chris-zh1ff,
Well, the only authority a JW congregation, like any religious house of worship or any religious group, truly has is the authority that you choose to allow them to have over you. And once you no longer acknowledge their self-appointed authority, their theological and moral authority over you becomes null and void.
I would agree with you that nonbelievers have no chance and that that's a shame, but probably not for the same reasons as you -- apostates don't have a chance to leave the JW Organization with their dignity intact. Ad for "righteous" judgment of "Jehovah" being made manifest through Witness congregations --- I don't know about that. I no longer understand how anyone could genuinely be okay with belonging to a religious community that feels they're entitled to know and somehow make you feel like you have to account to them when it comes to your personal business, even if they consider what you're saying or doing as somehow "sinful" -- even though one's behavior doesn't seem to be causing any measurable harm to anyone else. It makes no sense...but to those people I say: whatever floats your ducky, I guess.
You shouldn’t be watching apostate material, I’m going to report you to the elders
Nah, none of that is ever going to happen. It's the same with all Xtians, "god is gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna", but never does. Your congregations are FULL of Peter Files, adulterers, frauds, and PIMO. Your own elders sleep with wives and molest children. I've personally known three elders that committed adultery with married women they were supposed to be "helping". That's quite a lot for just one person to have witnessed.
Judgement starts in the congregation?! You'll have to show me some bible text for that wild claim.
Hit & run. Classic jw
Never do I ever hear your wah wah guests upholding Jehovah gods sovereignty by defending him in ANY ACCOUNT OF THEIR STRUGGLE,Jehovah in my experience is eager to intervene in his faithful servants life, over 35 years I have seen how he brings the arrogant elders to their ruin, it’s priceless, if a faithful servant stays close to jah , nothing stumbles them . Even if the fds goes belly up , no big deal to me I have NO INTERMEDIARY BETWEEN JEHOVAH AND MYSELF, they (general jws)leave me alone because they can’ stand the defence of the bible and my God , but I imagine this is not what you want to hear
Do you understand how mental you sound?
Lol jehovah Sabaoth here
Revelation 22 16 ijesus sent mine Root of david Moringstar lucifer Mahdi
All. This is rubbish on the comment points
You're not a very interesting troll. Shouldn't you be watching Caleb and Sophia videos instead of trolling apostate YT channels?
So you reckon there's no absolute truth ' yet you believe in being perfect which is impossible for sinful mankind ' No doubt Jehovah's Witnesses have the true religion otherwise how is Jehovah going to get the good news preached '
Keep up the good work Lloyd, but not too hard. 🖤🤎