Having been married for 26 years now to what I feel is the ‘wrong’ man because I so wanted to marry and I was in my late 20s then, it’s been very hard as we have very little in common now. I’ve struggled to stay in the marriage and I have wanted to get out but Ive come to realise that getting married is not about you so much as having the Christ in you formed. It’s about training you how to love someone as Christ would have you love them. It’s great if both of you get on great, but if say your spouse has changed (as in my case), it’s hard to stay in what other people might say as a toxic marriage. It’s not about satisfying you, it’s about changing you to love as Christ would have you. It’s a tough road, but who says following Christ is easy? But the end result will always be glorious, even if we don’t see it in this life.
I agree because our outside is definitely deteriorating but our inward it’s being renewed by the Word, you have to understand scriptures to understand this quote.
Yes please, i need prayer for me and my prospects. A late bloomer, age 30, and for the first time in my christian walk, I now feel a bit ready to go out there. Thanks very much, enlightening!:)
27, same boat. Mortified. But I know God is helping and guiding. Blessings on your journey, and hope God brings a wonderful man for you to walk through life with :)
@@khawajamazhar9188 and you base all that on your own life choices which have mnothing to do with them. Stop projecting your negativity on others like that
"Infatuation lasts 12-18 months. Give yourself at least 10 months before you get engaged and go to pre-engagement counseling." That's something I've not heard, regarding pre-engagement counseling. This sounds like very discerning and wise advice. If your emotion is controlling your decisions, you will make very subjective perhaps short-sighted decisions.
I am not emotional about the decision. But physical attraction is a non-negotiable for me. Amd besides this author is only talking about someone else s experiences not his own. Besides he has not had the struggles many of us over 40 face
Infatuation phase lasted three months for me. Of course, I still would be physically and emotionally attracted, but things led to me fundamentally questioning the spiritual vision and maturity of our relationship so I backed up. I very much still like this guy but 9 months into it now I have realized we have to seriously work on ourselves before we move forward relationally. You don't want to miss out on the red flags just because you're "in love". Work on all things possible before you tie the knot. (Whoever is reading this: I did NOT want to hear this advice but it turned out to be a wise thing to do and please please believe me you'll not regret following it!)
Gary's practical advice can help get over the guys who broke my heart and even be thankful for the lessons I learned from them which will help me make a wiser choice.
One real best advise Ive heard, when someone says I need to stay focus in God's presence while waiting. I've wrestled another options on my mind and Its really made my psychological and emotional ups and down till I came back to his advise, maybe because it's right but it also gives me peace of mind. Thanks much Tim, Im very glad that I asked you
Coach Kyle Fitness Hi, in my personal opinion, I think God does have a specific person in mind for you. He says that He has known us before he even created us and I do believe that God has your life and every chapter thought out before you were even created! But I do believe that God has his perfect will and we have our imperfect will... We can choose God's will or our own... I've seen many people seriously mess up in the marriage department- me being one of them. But I've also seen God's amazing Grace, compassion, mercy, and healing power in those marriages and in my own. God can and will turn it around for the good of those who love Him. God can do anything. My dad is finally going to church again after 40 years of my mom going alone and constantly praying for him. Some people may say that my mom was never supposed to marry my dad, but I am firsthand seeing God turn it all around for their good and His glory. I believe God always has a back up plan and I believe it was God's will for my parents to marry. After all, I would have never been born! ;) Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Psalm 139:16 "Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
I'm very desillusioned about marriage because Christians divorce as much as non-believers. But I just want it to work and I want love in my life, so I watch this.
That’s not actually true! When you look at people who go to church regularly and do other things which are signs of being a Christian, the divorce rate is way less
Three Christian relationship authors with the same first name??!? Gary Chapman, Gary Smalley and now Gary Thomas? I am going to get confused that I need to faint!
Interesting. I have met this amazing guy a year ago. We clicked and have so much in common - EXCEPT he has lost vision as of where he is really going in life. Major red flag. I was so excited to be with him after praying 16 years for this but I really was led to press into finding out where we both would be heading once married. Turns out, he couldn't tell for his life let alone our relationship. Told him to go find out first and talk to leaders and press into the presence of God and once he had done that come back and talk to me. Hardest thing for me to do for a long time of my life. I don't know whether and when things change and if we're going to be together again. But I am for sure not going to struggle with THAT in my future marriage because you OUGHT to have a vision and a direction you go before you pull someone there with you otherwise you are going NO.WHERE.
10:30 those questions - haha... hahahaha... oh boy that's the only tyle of people I fall inlove with. :D I can't exacly explain what the difference between inlove and crushing on or liking someone is and I do realize it is subjective to an extend, but I somehow know very well for myself what the difference is... and even though I'm just 20 I've already been inlove TWICE! To me that's a lot, lol, I always hoped to fall inlove just once and then marry them, haha. And I'm just 20... What I wanted to say though is... I've been inlove twice - HAVE been, over now, and both people are still soooo interesting to me and so awesome to be around. I wanna be friends with them, talk with them. I really do! I've talked to I think two of my friends about this and to both I said "I just have a really refine taste, it seems, I only fall inlove with awesome people. I couldn't ever dislike or not like a person I've been inlove with." I imagine your typical sitcom character question if I'm really over my feelings, haha. :D
i was able to hack my wife's iPhone hacked without she suspecting that the account is been hack through a professional hacker i meant on Instagram @ westhack000 and i also saw some cheating messages so i was able to get some proof to file for my divorce ..this hacker is the best hacker and his legit you guys should try them out its also cheap
You can always ask God to guide you in this! Whatever it is that seems like a problem or an obstacle - such as not having time and wondering how to do this when you don't have enough time to invest, for example, you can always just tell God to take that in His hands and figure it out and let Him know you believe He is indeed doing that. :) Saying "you can tell God anything and He would gladly help you with anything" seems like such a clishe thing to say and it seems like something we already know oh so well, but it's funny how we can forget it sometimes. :) Seek God and His Kingdom first and everything else will be added! :) I'm sorry I can't help you with any practical tip, but I hope my comment is still benefitial to you. God bless! :)
I knew that God doesn’t chose our mate from reading the Bible myself. His only command is to be evenly yoked. For wives to respect their husband and for husband to love their wives.
i was able to hack my wife's iPhone hacked without she suspecting that the account is been hack through a professional hacker i meant on Instagram @ westhack000 and i also saw some cheating messages so i was able to get some proof to file for my divorce ..this hacker is the best hacker and his legit you guys should try them out its also cheap
Paul never even met Jesus. Never quoted him either. Paul and Jesus said the world was ending while those who were alive then were still alive. Yeah..ok.
Jesus met Paul on the road to kill Messianic believers in Damascus, transformed his life and set him in a completely opposite direction. After this he spent several years living in the desert and learning from Jesus. Paul specifically says that he has received certain things directly from Jesus, such as the commandment of eating bread and drinking wine in remembrance of Jesus' sacrifice. Jesus said the latter days began with him. The destruction of Jerusalem predicted by him took place a mere 40 years after his death. There are many ways to translate the passage that is typically translated "this generation will not pass" until these things take place. One that makes the most sense to me is the meaning of "this nation will not be destroyed until these things take place". In other words, Israel will continue to exist until God's plan is carried out in full. The continued existence of the Jewish people, despite continuous attempts to wipe them out, is a testament to God's eternal promise. Oh, and the Bible never says "the world is going to end". That's just silly. This world was created for humans and to be ruled by humans in relationship with God and that is exactly what God is going to reset it back to. That's what the "new heavens and new earth" comments refer to - original design.
+kalashnik3 Thank you for sharing your view on this, I've been wondering about it! I'll keep thinking and searching though. But it's a really interesting perspective to look into.
This video is making me puke. I don't see this in our churches. Our Pastors etc. People are teaching one thing. Then counseling and allowing others. Marriage is not hunky dory . Oh jolly Marriage is great. If you just Follow the Lord. Marriage is what you make it no matter what your Spouse does. Not true
@I Am Cedric Powell Sadly, many pastors in the church are NOT QUALIFIED to do marital or premarital counseling. Some are too proud or egotistical to admit someone else more qualified would be a better choice to handle counseling. Asking the prospective couple if they are in agreement to marrying each other, then having a brief prayer for them is not counseling!!! Some of the best advice for couples planning to get married that I ever read came from the biography of former White House chaplain Mr. Peter Marshall. This man was light years ahead of Kevin Leman, Gary Thomas and Gary Chapman, to name a few.
Sweet Heart Exactly right! Very shallow like his books and speeches. Sure is getting rich saying things so elementary that everybody always already knows.
Having been married for 26 years now to what I feel is the ‘wrong’ man because I so wanted to marry and I was in my late 20s then, it’s been very hard as we have very little in common now. I’ve struggled to stay in the marriage and I have wanted to get out but Ive come to realise that getting married is not about you so much as having the Christ in you formed. It’s about training you how to love someone as Christ would have you love them. It’s great if both of you get on great, but if say your spouse has changed (as in my case), it’s hard to stay in what other people might say as a toxic marriage. It’s not about satisfying you, it’s about changing you to love as Christ would have you. It’s a tough road, but who says following Christ is easy? But the end result will always be glorious, even if we don’t see it in this life.
"Godliness grows even as physical beauty begins to fade." ~G. Thomas
Disagree! Disagree! Disagree!
I agree because our outside is definitely deteriorating but our inward it’s being renewed by the Word, you have to understand scriptures to understand this quote.
Yes please, i need prayer for me and my prospects. A late bloomer, age 30, and for the first time in my christian walk, I now feel a bit ready to go out there. Thanks very much, enlightening!:)
27, same boat. Mortified. But I know God is helping and guiding. Blessings on your journey, and hope God brings a wonderful man for you to walk through life with :)
Sounds like you lady’s have had your fun and now trying to work on ruining others’ fun
@@khawajamazhar9188 and you base all that on your own life choices which have mnothing to do with them. Stop projecting your negativity on others like that
Now, I'm in the same place as you. I'm also a late-bloomer, both excited and apprehensive to get out there.
Ah yes! I'm a 19 years old female and all my Christian friends are shocked that I view marriage this way. Glad to see I'm not the only one! :)
Lilly Hulbert I guess you are not 19 anymore, got any new knowledge to share?
I wish more women were in your mindset.
"Infatuation lasts 12-18 months. Give yourself at least 10 months before you get engaged and go to pre-engagement counseling." That's something I've not heard, regarding pre-engagement counseling. This sounds like very discerning and wise advice. If your emotion is controlling your decisions, you will make very subjective perhaps short-sighted decisions.
I am not emotional about the decision. But physical attraction is a non-negotiable for me. Amd besides this author is only talking about someone else s experiences not his own. Besides he has not had the struggles many of us over 40 face
I'm pretty sure I disagree with that. Tentatively.
I've heard similar advice. Do pre marital counseling before engagement. Wish I had done that, divorced after 13 years of marriage to the wrong woman
How do you know it was the wrong woman?
Infatuation phase lasted three months for me. Of course, I still would be physically and emotionally attracted, but things led to me fundamentally questioning the spiritual vision and maturity of our relationship so I backed up. I very much still like this guy but 9 months into it now I have realized we have to seriously work on ourselves before we move forward relationally. You don't want to miss out on the red flags just because you're "in love". Work on all things possible before you tie the knot. (Whoever is reading this: I did NOT want to hear this advice but it turned out to be a wise thing to do and please please believe me you'll not regret following it!)
Gary's practical advice can help get over the guys who broke my heart and even be thankful for the lessons I learned from them which will help me make a wiser choice.
😳 WOW, He has spoken soo much sense. His information of the scriptures is spot on.
Finally someone speaking some sense on this subject.
This book has helped me out a TON! Thank you, Gary!
One real best advise Ive heard, when someone says I need to stay focus in God's presence while waiting. I've wrestled another options on my mind and Its really made my psychological and emotional ups and down till I came back to his advise, maybe because it's right but it also gives me peace of mind. Thanks much Tim, Im very glad that I asked you
Very interesting, I always had the idea that God had one particular girl in mind for me from the beginning.
Coach Kyle Fitness Hi, in my personal opinion, I think God does have a specific person in mind for you. He says that He has known us before he even created us and I do believe that God has your life and every chapter thought out before you were even created! But I do believe that God has his perfect will and we have our imperfect will... We can choose God's will or our own... I've seen many people seriously mess up in the marriage department- me being one of them. But I've also seen God's amazing Grace, compassion, mercy, and healing power in those marriages and in my own. God can and will turn it around for the good of those who love Him. God can do anything. My dad is finally going to church again after 40 years of my mom going alone and constantly praying for him. Some people may say that my mom was never supposed to marry my dad, but I am firsthand seeing God turn it all around for their good and His glory. I believe God always has a back up plan and I believe it was God's will for my parents to marry. After all, I would have never been born! ;)
Jeremiah 1:5
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
Psalm 139:16
"Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
Kyle Scott James
Yes Jessica is right
I'm very desillusioned about marriage because Christians divorce as much as non-believers. But I just want it to work and I want love in my life, so I watch this.
That’s not actually true! When you look at people who go to church regularly and do other things which are signs of being a Christian, the divorce rate is way less
Three Christian relationship authors with the same first name??!? Gary Chapman, Gary Smalley and now Gary Thomas? I am going to get confused that I need to faint!
baby bunnie I am so confused 🤷🏿♀️ thanks for writing those names now
😅😅😅😅😅
😂😂😂😂😂😂 no your not...be open minded
baby bunnie GARRRYYYYY!!!!! Lol
I EVEN THOUGHT THY ARE A FAMILY
That was beautiful
These are the qualities of my Mother. Thank God my Girlfriend also have these qualities.
Interesting. I have met this amazing guy a year ago. We clicked and have so much in common - EXCEPT he has lost vision as of where he is really going in life. Major red flag. I was so excited to be with him after praying 16 years for this but I really was led to press into finding out where we both would be heading once married. Turns out, he couldn't tell for his life let alone our relationship. Told him to go find out first and talk to leaders and press into the presence of God and once he had done that come back and talk to me. Hardest thing for me to do for a long time of my life. I don't know whether and when things change and if we're going to be together again. But I am for sure not going to struggle with THAT in my future marriage because you OUGHT to have a vision and a direction you go before you pull someone there with you otherwise you are going NO.WHERE.
I totally AGREE.
Let's create a new cabinet position in government......Secretary of morality and marriage.....in Canada....Minister of morality and marriage.......
Beautiful!
Don’t do it. Let loneliness devolve into bitterness and it will turn your heart to stone so it will never be broken again!
I don't listen to Christians but I respect this guy's logic when it comes to marriage.
Why not..?
FYI: This guy and his logic is Christian. 😉
@@acharich Christian logic consists mostly of conflicting ideas, it's hard to stay decisive with that style of logic. Too confusing for me.
10:30 those questions - haha... hahahaha... oh boy that's the only tyle of people I fall inlove with. :D I can't exacly explain what the difference between inlove and crushing on or liking someone is and I do realize it is subjective to an extend, but I somehow know very well for myself what the difference is... and even though I'm just 20 I've already been inlove TWICE! To me that's a lot, lol, I always hoped to fall inlove just once and then marry them, haha. And I'm just 20...
What I wanted to say though is... I've been inlove twice - HAVE been, over now, and both people are still soooo interesting to me and so awesome to be around. I wanna be friends with them, talk with them. I really do! I've talked to I think two of my friends about this and to both I said "I just have a really refine taste, it seems, I only fall inlove with awesome people. I couldn't ever dislike or not like a person I've been inlove with." I imagine your typical sitcom character question if I'm really over my feelings, haha. :D
Fun fact....this guy didnt follow his steps while selecting his partner
i was able to hack my wife's iPhone hacked without she suspecting that the account is been hack through a professional hacker i meant on Instagram @ westhack000 and i also saw some cheating messages so i was able to get some proof to file for my divorce ..this hacker is the best hacker and his legit you guys should try them out its also cheap
He encourages 'young' people to...spend time finding a good marriage partner. What about not-so-young people?
Same deal I would think, if you are called to marriage.
You can always ask God to guide you in this! Whatever it is that seems like a problem or an obstacle - such as not having time and wondering how to do this when you don't have enough time to invest, for example, you can always just tell God to take that in His hands and figure it out and let Him know you believe He is indeed doing that. :)
Saying "you can tell God anything and He would gladly help you with anything" seems like such a clishe thing to say and it seems like something we already know oh so well, but it's funny how we can forget it sometimes. :)
Seek God and His Kingdom first and everything else will be added! :) I'm sorry I can't help you with any practical tip, but I hope my comment is still benefitial to you. God bless! :)
Just because he directed that to younger people doesn't mean it doesn't apply to other age groups.. 🙏🏾
clearly then you just need to go to a wedding chapel say your vows and hope someone takes the bait. just kidding obviously
I knew that God doesn’t chose our mate from reading the Bible myself. His only command is to be evenly yoked. For wives to respect their husband and for husband to love their wives.
I'd hope most of this is just common sense but I never know these days
♥️🔥♥️🔥♥️🔥🇨🇦
I'm all for semi-arranged marriages...
i was able to hack my wife's iPhone hacked without she suspecting that the account is been hack through a professional hacker i meant on Instagram @ westhack000 and i also saw some cheating messages so i was able to get some proof to file for my divorce ..this hacker is the best hacker and his legit you guys should try them out its also cheap
Paul never even met Jesus. Never quoted him either. Paul and Jesus said the world was ending while those who were alive then were still alive. Yeah..ok.
Jesus met Paul on the road to kill Messianic believers in Damascus, transformed his life and set him in a completely opposite direction. After this he spent several years living in the desert and learning from Jesus. Paul specifically says that he has received certain things directly from Jesus, such as the commandment of eating bread and drinking wine in remembrance of Jesus' sacrifice. Jesus said the latter days began with him. The destruction of Jerusalem predicted by him took place a mere 40 years after his death. There are many ways to translate the passage that is typically translated "this generation will not pass" until these things take place. One that makes the most sense to me is the meaning of "this nation will not be destroyed until these things take place". In other words, Israel will continue to exist until God's plan is carried out in full. The continued existence of the Jewish people, despite continuous attempts to wipe them out, is a testament to God's eternal promise. Oh, and the Bible never says "the world is going to end". That's just silly. This world was created for humans and to be ruled by humans in relationship with God and that is exactly what God is going to reset it back to. That's what the "new heavens and new earth" comments refer to - original design.
+kalashnik3 he met a ghost. Lol
+kalashnik3 Thank you for sharing your view on this, I've been wondering about it! I'll keep thinking and searching though. But it's a really interesting perspective to look into.
This video is making me puke. I don't see this in our churches. Our Pastors etc. People are teaching one thing. Then counseling and allowing others. Marriage is not hunky dory . Oh jolly Marriage is great. If you just Follow the Lord. Marriage is what you make it no matter what your Spouse does. Not true
@I Am Cedric Powell Sadly, many pastors in the church are NOT QUALIFIED to do marital or premarital counseling. Some are too proud or egotistical to admit someone else more qualified would be a better choice to handle counseling. Asking the prospective couple if they are in agreement to marrying each other, then having a brief prayer for them is not counseling!!! Some of the best advice for couples planning to get married that I ever read came from the biography of former White House chaplain Mr. Peter Marshall. This man was light years ahead of Kevin Leman, Gary Thomas and Gary Chapman, to name a few.
This is not helpful. It is a very long interview with no real insights or answers.
Sweet Heart Exactly right! Very shallow like his books and speeches. Sure is getting rich saying things so elementary that everybody always already knows.
Actually some people didn't know about some of the things he's spoken about. Might be shallow for you but not everyone else...