I am also a “trad wife” or whatever and I love it 😂 my husband works and I stay home with our children. I am living my dream and also feel very lucky to be home with my babies. The amount of belittling I’ve endured from other people who think it’s okay to talk down to sahm because we don’t have a “real” job is unreal but at the end of the day I am so happy and so are my kids so 🖕🏻
Girl, yes...this is my point. Most people I know who are screwed up say it's because of their childhood. Yet when there are women who are like, "I'm gonna give EVERYTHING to my kids for as long as I can," some people turn it into a BAD THING. Basically, saying, "Well, I could have benefitted from a family-focused home...but I don't think anyone else could!" Don't even get me started on how they will prop up a woman who makes money raising other people's kids...but women who either can't afford that (because like I said...the idea that trad wives or whatever don't EVER come from necessity is just dumb) or do not want to pay for that....are suckers somehow? I'm just saying there's more than one way to skin a cat. I wouldn't say I like when people fear-monger career women, and I don't like when they fearmonger women who aren't. And it's almost always other women doing it to each other. Not "society.".its a cop-out
The crazy thing is, the point of feminism is to give women the autonomy to do what they want with their lives. Whether that be working in corporate, being independent, being a trad wife, etc. People are losing site of this and just fueled by hatred
@ Esoteraeon I’ve been bullied and harassed the most by feminists (in other words, less attractive women because they tend to follow feminism) I was shamed for my cosmetic surgery procedures, and getting laser for my skin. Women last their prime (women last the age of 29) in particular have been the most hateful to me. The moment you strive for beauty, the unwanted feminists will attack you. I don’t support all women for this reason and us pretty and wealthy girls need to stay away from feminism! It’s hateful, it’s ugly, and it’s downright bullying
Years ago the "conflict" between stay-at-home moms and working moms who are in a financial position to have the option to stay home used to be called the "mommy wars." Like you say, to my mind, the call is coming from inside the house. If you need to snipe at somebody else about their life choices, maybe it's time to take a long, hard look at how you feel about your own. Even if the answer is you've made a good choice and also pine for elements of the other path, you can own that and let it power your empathy for all the women you encounter.
I have a complicated view of feminism. One one hand, I am grateful for those that have fought and continue to fight for women's rights (to vote, run for office, body autonomy, education, etc.). On the other, I do feel that modern feminism has morphed to belittle men and shame women for making choices that "don't align" with what it means to be a feminist. At it's core, feminism is about all genders having equal rights and opportunities - including the right and opportunity to be a Tradwife.
Yes miss ma am!!!! My hot take is this: OG feminism was designed to relieve of us the confines, limitations, and disadvantages of being policed and dictated to under a patriarchal society. NOW feminism serves as a newer more supposedly empowering way to police and dictate to women. We have now just shifted one system that controls us to another. And it this point it’s so fractured in terms of messaging and intentionally divisive that I dunno where I stand anymore….but I don’t agree with SO much of what it represents at this point. And I also know if I say that then I will be labeled as having internalized misogyny, or some kind of phobe or ist…which is ironically just a modern day witch hunt put on by the same feminists who would point to old world Salem as a premier example of what happens when women are not listened to, believed, given the freedom to live how they want, or stand in their autonomy. It’s getting to be a joke.
I’m not supportive of feminism because the moment a woman makes more money and can afford to purchase pretty privilege, these same “supportive” women will attack them. Feminism is for below average girls who enjoy shaming women above them. It’s something I want zero part of. It also paints people to only be a victim because God forbid your life gets better, that “support” is always out the window
I’m a Conservative but I agree with you. I’m so glad some women have the freedom now to leave awful situations and some women can help support the family with income if necessary or even just if they find their work fulfilling. And similarly, part of that CHOICE is being able to stay at home too. People should not judge whatever is best for someone’s family.
Re: dating. Dating apps just create infinite choice. Before apps, you met like 20 guys max in real life before marrying one of them. Now it's just swipe, swipe, swipe until you feel like you've swiped over everyone and your only option to meet someone new is to move
Damn. Very that. Also, when you first meet them, there is so much data to gather from someone. The way someone looks at you across the room, their charisma, and the MYSTERY of a new person is completely dead when you swipe on an effin app. I have NO CLUE why anyone would want to do this. Folks need to get out, get a life, and enjoy themselves.
So in Canada we get 12-18 months maternity leave. With the 18 months you only get 30% of your salary + baby benefits. I remember telling a handful of women about my plans to take the 18 month leave and they were the most critical and rude. Some were a mix of single and married women. Our decision as a couple that it was wiser for me to take a financial hit and that my husband would cover the majority of the bills. Once I go back to work this year I’ll have more affordable daycare since my child will be older 🤷♀️ For no I will sacrifice until I meet my career goals eventually
A work in a factory where we're overworked a lot. Id love to be a stay at home girlfriend. It took a global pandemic for me to realize I liked being a domestic goddess. Maybe one day that can be my reality. But for now, I do what I have to. This video helped shift my mindset a little. Thank you Whitney!
So excited for this video. Your narcissist video taught me so much and I thought I knew a lot about narcs since my father is one. That’s a video I’ll go back to every few months as a refresher ❤
I think tradwives and stay-at-home-moms are very different things. Tradwives seem to have a whole political/ religious component which includes being submissive and ultra- conservative. For SAHMs I think it's more about practicality; does it make sense to stay home and not pay for child care. I agree that social media is not the place to look for serious life decisions, because so much of it is fake as hell.
I will say..the women I know who are always like, "All men are shit!" are EXCLUSIVELY attracted to toxic men...and are harmful in their own ways all by themselves. So I hate that this kind of person gets to shape the narrative, and if a woman comes out and it's like, "No! All there are good guys, and they make your life better!" it will be combatted with "you're a pick me!" some people only wanna hear good news about their bad habits.
I have deeply accepted I have zero interest in dating or partnering. There is nothing a man can offer me that tempts me to potentially disturb my peace at this stage in life... I am in love with my life and I get asked out all the time because I'm happy. I don't hate men. I'm just done participating. I truly rarely see happy partners, and I'm not going to lie about observing that like I have for decades. We have reached a tipping point. Women get hurt, we run to each other, connection or healing and men run to only fans, porn or video games. However that dynamic emerged...Society is lopsided and beyond repair, I think.
I think this is very over-generalized. I mean, obviously, you are entitled to your opinion. But I have seen women run to MORE men, dysfunctional relationship patterns, addiction issues, and destructive behavior when they need healing just as much as I have seen men do it. If relationships are not for you, you should live truthfully and enjoy your life. But I personally don't think it's helpful or even fair to ascribe all the issues in modern dating to men OR women. It's just individual people need better relationship skills.
Of course it go both ways and there are many unhealed women for many reasons in dysfunctional patterns. I think there is a bigger and growing problem with how we are socializing boys. Between p*rn, video games, weed and sports we have disabled a generation of leaders that can't or won't lead. It's bigger than women versus men. We are in trouble.
Oh absolutely! I totally agree. I just think that we have this kinda Pollyanna perspective on women’s role in this because we see ourselves as simultaneously oppressed by AND superior to men. I understand (tho do not agree with) why men are retreating this way. They are exhibiting learned helplessness. And it’s why talk about things the way that I do…I just wanna interject some balance and nuance because like you said…it’s not looking good.
I've worked on and off my entire marriage. I've never been financially stable though. Before my husband, my parents always helped me. I had 3 kids by myself. Now my husband is definitely the bread winner, but I do work.
I love this video so much! You’re like the smart, big sister with a super balanced view on life that every young girl needs right now. I worry for the younger generations who have grown up even more so online then the millennials did. Social media is too much in the mix of relationships now and people aren’t even thinking about what they want in real life anymore
Absolutely. I do not envy young people trying to figure things out now. There are TOO many voices in their heads...most of which are making lots of money by getting you to think in the narrowest way possible, who probably don't practice what they preach, and who DEFINITELY don't care about you or your life.
Never heard of a trad-wife so will see who/what that is. IF my hubby & I divorced or heaven forbid he passed on, I'd NEVER consider dating anywhere or anyone!! I have a near perfect [if only he danced!!] & no one could ever take his place! He is only on messenger & has to use for ANY social media nor will he ever... He is a "wish I'd been born in 1880 Cowboy" & will toss his cell phone when he retires & get a call only, maybe text cell instead [but that's only because he loves me enough to]
I love this for you :) If my husband and I didn't stay together, it would be super hard for any man to measure up to him. I feel fortunate and blessed. Makes life a little sweeter every day to have him in it :)
I also have a husband just like the two of you and we have been married for 45 years ( high school sweethearts). I could never ever replace him nor would I ever try, he is my lifetime soulmate. The three of us are very lucky as these men are truly one in a million.
Whitney, I realise life gets in the way, but I am waiting in great anticipation for your next video. I have had to resort to playing all the High Maintenance videos again 💖
So cool to see you back in a steady grove of creating content that is realitive to what you're seeing/doing. Prays to you and family. Hope you're feeling wonderful & positive ✨️ Love yourself, challenge yourself and keep living the dream Doll 💖 You're really great at what ya do here with content creation. Hope you bring back some more of the high maintenance mindset and the planning and scheduling themes😊. Either way 💯 God bless you
If being a trad wife is authentic to you and your life plans, go for it. If you're a lady who feels that not being a momma is a better suit (because let's face it, not everyone in this world was meant to be a parent) and maybe you value career and financial stability, that's okay too. No way is better than the other. The best suit for me is somewhere in the middle; having a partner who makes a really good income who takes care of most financial decisions while I'm working part-time, making my own money while doing my womanly duties (currently manifesting this).
The answers for the most part are always in the middle. And since the algorithm of it all does NOT celebrate or prop up moderation in any way...That's why it concerns me when people make huge life decisions based on these online trends and subcultures.
As long as the same mistakes keep happening with the hopes things will change its good. Learning and changing what doesn't work has to happen or life is meh.
We need more videos like this. Where do you think that taking care of your husband crosses the line and Vice Vera? I mean I do enjoy taking care of my husband, but I know I can start to get resentful if I’m doing too much and don’t feel appreciated. We worked through that now that we’ve been together for 12 years. I was trying to do too much that he hadn’t even expected of me.
I would ask him what he wants. For example, my husband literally doesn't like it when I fix his plate. Let the podcast bros tell it-that's what ALL men want and what ALL women should be expected to do. We think men have secret feelings and wish they want us to figure out because sometimes, as women, we do that. But they are usually really simple, up front, and easy to make happy-assuming they aren't disordered in some way, of course. Marriage got way easier for me when I understood that. And of course, he knows massages, glowy stuff, compliments, and jewelry are what make me happy so that's what he does for me :)
My husband and I work reha4d to maintain our relationship. It isn't always easy. For the most part though, we have a really great relationship. We respect and love each other. We prioritize one another. We have both decided that divorce is not an option, so we have to work through problems. I think if divorce is an option, it's a lot easier than going through the uncomfortable parts of marriages.
If my family could afford it, I would not work outside of the home. I could and should probably get on disability, but for some reason I've been made to feel like that's giving up. Maybe it's not though, maybe it's knowing my own limitations and not constantly disappointing employers and myself.
Only you can know that, but at the end of the day, your choices should be based on YOUR values and what you want or need. You can't let other people cloud the issue...they don't live with the consequences of your actions. You do.
I went through a phase of I'm going to do what boys do. I had gotten my heart broken twice and was like absolutely devastated. I went out, slept around, didn't call men back, so on and so forth. The only person I hurt was myself. None of the guys I slept around with gaf. I felt so gross and disgusted with myself. I spiraled further and further away from who I wanted to be. I ended up in a mental hospital because of the self loathing afterwards. It's kinda funny though because once I calmed down I ended up having 3 kids with 3 different dad's. It was a lesson for sure. Even just sleeping around a little isn't the way. Plus I still wanted the men to chase me and want me, but they had already gotten what it was that they wanted.
I wanted to be a beauty UA-cam gal for a bit. My husband was completely supportive. I wasn't uploading anything though and kept thinking i needed so much stuff before i could start. Then i realized I do not have thick enough skin for that.
Girl fuck it. People on the internet who talk shit are raggedy. It's an ODD behavior when you break it down. Can't let nameless, faceless, nothing burgers run the show for you. Get your bag.
@@whitneyhedrick- Yeah... NO. If someone can't cope with the pressure then unsocial media creation is not for this person. Because creators deal with nobody else than nameless, faceless nothing burgers. That is who all of your subscribers are. And they are many creators' bread and butter.
What's a trad wife? I didn't work for 5 years ish bc i had a serious mental health crisis. Afterwards it took quite a long time to have confidence in myself that i even could work.
Tradwife has a more negative connotation because there is this insinuation that you submit to your husband and that he is the head of the household and his word is law. I don’t think you fall into the tradewife category because of that. It’s far less of an equality thing!
Yeah, that's why I re-framed it to "kept wife," but I mean the people that push back against the traditional wife thing..push against stay-at-home girl friends, and kept women of any kind. I think the specifics that go into the archetypical "traditional wife" still don't bother me. I can't stand this idea that "women are strong and smart and perfect!" yet they cannot decide to live a submissive life to their husbands. It feels infantilizing that we can't ACTUALLY let women make their own choices...they must still be policed. At the end of the day, everyone has to live with their choices....and I don't believe we can safeguard ourselves from abusive relationships by trying to put lifestyles into categories. In other words, dudes with no jobs paying for not one thing have just as much a chance of being abusive. So, I think it's the idea that these online terms and trends will protect us from anything. It's just not a thing.
I feel like nothing is enough as a woman. If you work outside the home and have children, you get, "why did you have kids for others to raise!" If you stay home you get, "you're just a stay at home mom. It's lazy." If you can't afford to live with your kids on your own you get, "you never should have had kids. You're codependent on a man. You need to make money to add any value to your family." These are all things I've heard in these situations. Idk what it is like for women that do not have children, but I assume they it is just as bad. My friend Gab, gets so much shit for not wanting to have children. It's okay to not want that in your life. People can have a full, happy life without children, without a spouse, without a job, and so on. We need to stop being judgemental bc absolutely no one knows what it is like to be someone else.
Ok so my 2 cents.... Whit I adore you n love the advice point of view type videos like this. I agree there needs to be a balance n you nedd to have a supportive partner regardless. In that same rhelm can you do your pov of the balanced partner n what that relationship really should entail? Im 43 n am questioning my entire life n have been for awhile, idk where i stand in my current relationship let alone how i want to move forward. Ive got so many questions that idk the answers too. Ive cut ties with so many people n dont trust the ones in my life enough to get their opinions. Anyway id greatly appreciate your input n views on everything relationship wise. Thank you miss ma'am ❤😊
@whitneyhedrick Part of me says yes but logical me says no, that's way to personal to share online. Let me see if I can word things a bit better. So in my 14 year relationship with my current girlfriend the longer we are together the more strained and completely out of sync we are becoming. Idk if we've both just given up or if there's anything left to save. The first maybe 7ish years were good. Very much the 50 50 give n take like very few issues we couldn't talk through. Her parents had to move in with us and from that point we started to fall apart, not supporting the other nearly as much in literally anything at all, fighting constantly over everything n I mean everything. We use to be each other's cheerleaders for everything, celebrated every accomplishment no matter how small. That all ended slowly. We'd talk bout every purchase before doing it, that doesn't happen now. Is that "normal" for things to fizzle out that badly? Can things be saved, how do you know if it's worth it to even try to save? Does that make sense or do I sound crazy? 🤔
@BrookeVarner717 if I may: all relationships wax and wane. you said as soon as their parents moved in, it all went downhill. could it be caregiver strain? role dynamics have changed bc the child is now the caretaker. are either of you wanting to salvage things or are you staying together bc it's comfortable?
I know fresh and fit be going to far with their beliefs but I find it hilarious the way some of the women behave to. I watch it to laugh probably too much. And I could never date a male influencer 😂 my husband doesn’t get on social media a lot. It would be creepy. He better be helping around the house more of he’s got time to scroll
Lol my ex would legit get mad if I would look at him on Instagram. It was creepy. Like what cha hiding? Guys don't realize it is normal for couples to look at each others feeds and stuff. Share and enjoy together. I would want to be a trad wife to a certain extent. Just hard. I can't find a man in my area that wants that. I keep running into men that ask 50/50 because they are wasting their money on OF or other odd things like that. So I stopped dating. 😞
@AllUserNamesAreUsedI've tried that. I don't think it works. I think most men are not ready to actually date. So they don't know what they really want. So many men tell me they don't know or love themselves. Then they can't love or know me...
Men make it clear what they are and what they want. UNLESS they are super disordered...and don't get me wrong, they are out there. The problem is a lot of women cannot face it. They will fight, fuss, beg, plead, bargain and argue, believing they can change him or that he will see the error of his ways. If a man isn't doing what he needs to do to keep you...and you are HONESTLY being reasonable and healthy, then he isn't for you. Drop him. Let him go. They do know what they want...just like you do. But if you don't want the same things...it will never work. Unless kids are in the picture... the first time you see some bull shit, LEAVE. Otherwise, they learn how to play you. I'm sure there are exceptions to this in the macro...but I have NEVER seen a woman with relationship problems that were not easily solvable if she would listen to what he says and watch what he does. NEVER seen it.
I would have dipped the minute social media became an issue in my relationship. It's why I said I would never date a male influencer. I'm not putting up with it, period.
The study you’re referring to was not even done on humans. It was done on prairie voles, who have mostly monogamous relationships just like humans. That’s why the study is garbage imo. I was an S worker at one point in my life, before becoming a Christian, and I’m married now. I’ve had no issue bonding to my husband at all. The main reason I despise those podcasts is because the majority of men on there with the exception of a few good Christian men I’ve seen, have no validity in their arguments against promiscuity since they themselves are promiscuous. If men want to be respected as the leaders that they naturally are, then they need to UPHOLD the standards by which they wish the world to be. You can’t go around using people like a psychopath (which some psychologists have actually equated the behavior to) and then claim it’s “different” because you’re a male. Sure, men ARE more visual and usually have a higher S drive but that is NOT an excuse to make the world a more corrupt place then claim you deserve a good woman when you’re not a great man. It’s very hypocritical and I don’t buy it. Btw, I used to watch you years ago. Glad to see you again ❤
I am also a “trad wife” or whatever and I love it 😂 my husband works and I stay home with our children. I am living my dream and also feel very lucky to be home with my babies. The amount of belittling I’ve endured from other people who think it’s okay to talk down to sahm because we don’t have a “real” job is unreal but at the end of the day I am so happy and so are my kids so 🖕🏻
Girl, yes...this is my point. Most people I know who are screwed up say it's because of their childhood. Yet when there are women who are like, "I'm gonna give EVERYTHING to my kids for as long as I can," some people turn it into a BAD THING. Basically, saying, "Well, I could have benefitted from a family-focused home...but I don't think anyone else could!" Don't even get me started on how they will prop up a woman who makes money raising other people's kids...but women who either can't afford that (because like I said...the idea that trad wives or whatever don't EVER come from necessity is just dumb) or do not want to pay for that....are suckers somehow? I'm just saying there's more than one way to skin a cat. I wouldn't say I like when people fear-monger career women, and I don't like when they fearmonger women who aren't. And it's almost always other women doing it to each other. Not "society.".its a cop-out
The crazy thing is, the point of feminism is to give women the autonomy to do what they want with their lives. Whether that be working in corporate, being independent, being a trad wife, etc. People are losing site of this and just fueled by hatred
@ Esoteraeon
I’ve been bullied and harassed the most by feminists (in other words, less attractive women because they tend to follow feminism)
I was shamed for my cosmetic surgery procedures, and getting laser for my skin. Women last their prime (women last the age of 29) in particular have been the most hateful to me. The moment you strive for beauty, the unwanted feminists will attack you. I don’t support all women for this reason and us pretty and wealthy girls need to stay away from feminism! It’s hateful, it’s ugly, and it’s downright bullying
Years ago the "conflict" between stay-at-home moms and working moms who are in a financial position to have the option to stay home used to be called the "mommy wars." Like you say, to my mind, the call is coming from inside the house. If you need to snipe at somebody else about their life choices, maybe it's time to take a long, hard look at how you feel about your own. Even if the answer is you've made a good choice and also pine for elements of the other path, you can own that and let it power your empathy for all the women you encounter.
Well said! :)
I love hearing your thoughts! Your daughter is so fortunate to have a such a wise woman as a mother!
Wow! Thank you! :)
THIS
I have a complicated view of feminism. One one hand, I am grateful for those that have fought and continue to fight for women's rights (to vote, run for office, body autonomy, education, etc.). On the other, I do feel that modern feminism has morphed to belittle men and shame women for making choices that "don't align" with what it means to be a feminist.
At it's core, feminism is about all genders having equal rights and opportunities - including the right and opportunity to be a Tradwife.
Yes miss ma am!!!! My hot take is this: OG feminism was designed to relieve of us the confines, limitations, and disadvantages of being policed and dictated to under a patriarchal society. NOW feminism serves as a newer more supposedly empowering way to police and dictate to women. We have now just shifted one system that controls us to another. And it this point it’s so fractured in terms of messaging and intentionally divisive that I dunno where I stand anymore….but I don’t agree with SO much of what it represents at this point. And I also know if I say that then I will be labeled as having internalized misogyny, or some kind of phobe or ist…which is ironically just a modern day witch hunt put on by the same feminists who would point to old world Salem as a premier example of what happens when women are not listened to, believed, given the freedom to live how they want, or stand in their autonomy. It’s getting to be a joke.
I agree with both of you ladys!!
I’m not supportive of feminism because the moment a woman makes more money and can afford to purchase pretty privilege, these same “supportive” women will attack them. Feminism is for below average girls who enjoy shaming women above them. It’s something I want zero part of. It also paints people to only be a victim because God forbid your life gets better, that “support” is always out the window
I’m a Conservative but I agree with you. I’m so glad some women have the freedom now to leave awful situations and some women can help support the family with income if necessary or even just if they find their work fulfilling. And similarly, part of that CHOICE is being able to stay at home too. People should not judge whatever is best for someone’s family.
I am not in your age group but I think you are so insightful when it I comes to life issues and relationships… you’re awesome❤
Re: dating. Dating apps just create infinite choice. Before apps, you met like 20 guys max in real life before marrying one of them. Now it's just swipe, swipe, swipe until you feel like you've swiped over everyone and your only option to meet someone new is to move
Damn. Very that. Also, when you first meet them, there is so much data to gather from someone. The way someone looks at you across the room, their charisma, and the MYSTERY of a new person is completely dead when you swipe on an effin app. I have NO CLUE why anyone would want to do this. Folks need to get out, get a life, and enjoy themselves.
You’re so pretty 😍. I’m in my mid 20s and hearing you talk is like my wise auntie giving me some wisdom🫶🏼.
So in Canada we get 12-18 months maternity leave. With the 18 months you only get 30% of your salary + baby benefits. I remember telling a handful of women about my plans to take the 18 month leave and they were the most critical and rude. Some were a mix of single and married women. Our decision as a couple that it was wiser for me to take a financial hit and that my husband would cover the majority of the bills. Once I go back to work this year I’ll have more affordable daycare since my child will be older 🤷♀️
For no I will sacrifice until I meet my career goals eventually
A work in a factory where we're overworked a lot. Id love to be a stay at home girlfriend. It took a global pandemic for me to realize I liked being a domestic goddess. Maybe one day that can be my reality. But for now, I do what I have to. This video helped shift my mindset a little. Thank you Whitney!
So excited for this video. Your narcissist video taught me so much and I thought I knew a lot about narcs since my father is one. That’s a video I’ll go back to every few months as a refresher ❤
wow thank you so much!!! I am so glad it was helpful for you xoxo
I think tradwives and stay-at-home-moms are very different things. Tradwives seem to have a whole political/ religious component which includes being submissive and ultra- conservative. For SAHMs I think it's more about practicality; does it make sense to stay home and not pay for child care.
I agree that social media is not the place to look for serious life decisions, because so much of it is fake as hell.
Indeed!
And a woman choosing to be submissive isn’t a bad thing. Y’all demonize any woman who lives better or differently than you!!!
Also yes. Some women never met a good guy. Which is sad. That's when the inner work is needed. So women see the good guys.
I will say..the women I know who are always like, "All men are shit!" are EXCLUSIVELY attracted to toxic men...and are harmful in their own ways all by themselves. So I hate that this kind of person gets to shape the narrative, and if a woman comes out and it's like, "No! All there are good guys, and they make your life better!" it will be combatted with "you're a pick me!" some people only wanna hear good news about their bad habits.
@@whitneyhedrick men don't save us. We save us. Then we don't save them. I wish people would understand that. It would make the world better.
I guess?
I have deeply accepted I have zero interest in dating or partnering. There is nothing a man can offer me that tempts me to potentially disturb my peace at this stage in life... I am in love with my life and I get asked out all the time because I'm happy. I don't hate men. I'm just done participating. I truly rarely see happy partners, and I'm not going to lie about observing that like I have for decades. We have reached a tipping point. Women get hurt, we run to each other, connection or healing and men run to only fans, porn or video games. However that dynamic emerged...Society is lopsided and beyond repair, I think.
I think this is very over-generalized. I mean, obviously, you are entitled to your opinion. But I have seen women run to MORE men, dysfunctional relationship patterns, addiction issues, and destructive behavior when they need healing just as much as I have seen men do it. If relationships are not for you, you should live truthfully and enjoy your life. But I personally don't think it's helpful or even fair to ascribe all the issues in modern dating to men OR women. It's just individual people need better relationship skills.
Of course it go both ways and there are many unhealed women for many reasons in dysfunctional patterns. I think there is a bigger and growing problem with how we are socializing boys. Between p*rn, video games, weed and sports we have disabled a generation of leaders that can't or won't lead. It's bigger than women versus men. We are in trouble.
Oh absolutely! I totally agree. I just think that we have this kinda Pollyanna perspective on women’s role in this because we see ourselves as simultaneously oppressed by AND superior to men. I understand (tho do not agree with) why men are retreating this way. They are exhibiting learned helplessness. And it’s why talk about things the way that I do…I just wanna interject some balance and nuance because like you said…it’s not looking good.
Anytime things get too luxurious all societies crumble. This is no different than any other civilization. History literally repeating itself.
I've worked on and off my entire marriage. I've never been financially stable though. Before my husband, my parents always helped me. I had 3 kids by myself. Now my husband is definitely the bread winner, but I do work.
I love this video so much! You’re like the smart, big sister with a super balanced view on life that every young girl needs right now. I worry for the younger generations who have grown up even more so online then the millennials did. Social media is too much in the mix of relationships now and people aren’t even thinking about what they want in real life anymore
Absolutely. I do not envy young people trying to figure things out now. There are TOO many voices in their heads...most of which are making lots of money by getting you to think in the narrowest way possible, who probably don't practice what they preach, and who DEFINITELY don't care about you or your life.
Never heard of a trad-wife so will see who/what that is. IF my hubby & I divorced or heaven forbid he passed on, I'd NEVER consider dating anywhere or anyone!! I have a near perfect [if only he danced!!] & no one could ever take his place! He is only on messenger & has to use for ANY social media nor will he ever... He is a "wish I'd been born in 1880 Cowboy" & will toss his cell phone when he retires & get a call only, maybe text cell instead [but that's only because he loves me enough to]
I love this for you :) If my husband and I didn't stay together, it would be super hard for any man to measure up to him. I feel fortunate and blessed. Makes life a little sweeter every day to have him in it :)
I also have a husband just like the two of you and we have been married for 45 years ( high school sweethearts). I could never ever replace him nor would I ever try, he is my lifetime soulmate. The three of us are very lucky as these men are truly one in a million.
Thanks for sharing ❤ Shera changed my life
Whitney, I realise life gets in the way, but I am waiting in great anticipation for your next video. I have had to resort to playing all the High Maintenance videos again 💖
So cool to see you back in a steady grove of creating content that is realitive to what you're seeing/doing. Prays to you and family. Hope you're feeling wonderful & positive ✨️ Love yourself, challenge yourself and keep living the dream Doll 💖 You're really great at what ya do here with content creation. Hope you bring back some more of the high maintenance mindset and the planning and scheduling themes😊. Either way 💯 God bless you
Absolutely love Shera Seven, am commenting at the start of the video so I haven't heard the scoop yet. 🙂
She's a trip!
❤❤❤ You’ve been on a roll and I’m here for it❤❤❤ Great content as usual.
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE 💗 This message!. The 🪳infested hotel room analogy is a gem! Thank you for sharing common sense. 🌟
Thanks for watching :) :)
If being a trad wife is authentic to you and your life plans, go for it. If you're a lady who feels that not being a momma is a better suit (because let's face it, not everyone in this world was meant to be a parent) and maybe you value career and financial stability, that's okay too. No way is better than the other. The best suit for me is somewhere in the middle; having a partner who makes a really good income who takes care of most financial decisions while I'm working part-time, making my own money while doing my womanly duties (currently manifesting this).
The answers for the most part are always in the middle. And since the algorithm of it all does NOT celebrate or prop up moderation in any way...That's why it concerns me when people make huge life decisions based on these online trends and subcultures.
Uh, excuse you with your intro disclaimers … 🙄… the Whitney is Whitneying! ✨❤
hahaha! I was not feeling my look that day.but fuck it...gotta get the video up regardless 🤣
As long as the same mistakes keep happening with the hopes things will change its good. Learning and changing what doesn't work has to happen or life is meh.
Loved the disclaimer at beginning 😂
Whitney, how do I get your eyebrows because eyebrows are eyebrowing 😍
Really?! I was not having a good makeup day here so that’s nice to hear :)
We need more videos like this. Where do you think that taking care of your husband crosses the line and Vice Vera? I mean I do enjoy taking care of my husband, but I know I can start to get resentful if I’m doing too much and don’t feel appreciated. We worked through that now that we’ve been together for 12 years. I was trying to do too much that he hadn’t even expected of me.
I would ask him what he wants. For example, my husband literally doesn't like it when I fix his plate. Let the podcast bros tell it-that's what ALL men want and what ALL women should be expected to do. We think men have secret feelings and wish they want us to figure out because sometimes, as women, we do that. But they are usually really simple, up front, and easy to make happy-assuming they aren't disordered in some way, of course. Marriage got way easier for me when I understood that. And of course, he knows massages, glowy stuff, compliments, and jewelry are what make me happy so that's what he does for me :)
My husband and I work reha4d to maintain our relationship. It isn't always easy. For the most part though, we have a really great relationship. We respect and love each other. We prioritize one another. We have both decided that divorce is not an option, so we have to work through problems. I think if divorce is an option, it's a lot easier than going through the uncomfortable parts of marriages.
You are so wise. I agree with your theory’s.
Thank you so much!
If my family could afford it, I would not work outside of the home. I could and should probably get on disability, but for some reason I've been made to feel like that's giving up. Maybe it's not though, maybe it's knowing my own limitations and not constantly disappointing employers and myself.
Only you can know that, but at the end of the day, your choices should be based on YOUR values and what you want or need. You can't let other people cloud the issue...they don't live with the consequences of your actions. You do.
I went through a phase of I'm going to do what boys do. I had gotten my heart broken twice and was like absolutely devastated. I went out, slept around, didn't call men back, so on and so forth. The only person I hurt was myself. None of the guys I slept around with gaf. I felt so gross and disgusted with myself. I spiraled further and further away from who I wanted to be. I ended up in a mental hospital because of the self loathing afterwards. It's kinda funny though because once I calmed down I ended up having 3 kids with 3 different dad's. It was a lesson for sure. Even just sleeping around a little isn't the way. Plus I still wanted the men to chase me and want me, but they had already gotten what it was that they wanted.
There is a lot of universal truth to be found in your experience. I don't recommend trying to be like a boy in the "fight fire with fire" sense.
I wanted to be a beauty UA-cam gal for a bit. My husband was completely supportive. I wasn't uploading anything though and kept thinking i needed so much stuff before i could start. Then i realized I do not have thick enough skin for that.
Girl fuck it. People on the internet who talk shit are raggedy. It's an ODD behavior when you break it down. Can't let nameless, faceless, nothing burgers run the show for you. Get your bag.
@@whitneyhedrick- Yeah... NO. If someone can't cope with the pressure then unsocial media creation is not for this person.
Because creators deal with nobody else than nameless, faceless nothing burgers. That is who all of your subscribers are. And they are many creators' bread and butter.
You're really smart 🤓💕
Thanks! ;)
What's a trad wife? I didn't work for 5 years ish bc i had a serious mental health crisis. Afterwards it took quite a long time to have confidence in myself that i even could work.
My family thinks if someone does not work they aren't a productive member of society and that you can not have self worth.
Tradwife has a more negative connotation because there is this insinuation that you submit to your husband and that he is the head of the household and his word is law. I don’t think you fall into the tradewife category because of that. It’s far less of an equality thing!
Yeah, that's why I re-framed it to "kept wife," but I mean the people that push back against the traditional wife thing..push against stay-at-home girl friends, and kept women of any kind. I think the specifics that go into the archetypical "traditional wife" still don't bother me. I can't stand this idea that "women are strong and smart and perfect!" yet they cannot decide to live a submissive life to their husbands. It feels infantilizing that we can't ACTUALLY let women make their own choices...they must still be policed. At the end of the day, everyone has to live with their choices....and I don't believe we can safeguard ourselves from abusive relationships by trying to put lifestyles into categories. In other words, dudes with no jobs paying for not one thing have just as much a chance of being abusive. So, I think it's the idea that these online terms and trends will protect us from anything. It's just not a thing.
I feel like nothing is enough as a woman. If you work outside the home and have children, you get, "why did you have kids for others to raise!" If you stay home you get, "you're just a stay at home mom. It's lazy." If you can't afford to live with your kids on your own you get, "you never should have had kids. You're codependent on a man. You need to make money to add any value to your family." These are all things I've heard in these situations. Idk what it is like for women that do not have children, but I assume they it is just as bad. My friend Gab, gets so much shit for not wanting to have children. It's okay to not want that in your life. People can have a full, happy life without children, without a spouse, without a job, and so on. We need to stop being judgemental bc absolutely no one knows what it is like to be someone else.
what is the brush your using to put your foundation on?!?
Its the Morphe V102. Their vegan pro line is AWESOME
such great content!
Thank you! :)
Ok so my 2 cents....
Whit I adore you n love the advice point of view type videos like this. I agree there needs to be a balance n you nedd to have a supportive partner regardless. In that same rhelm can you do your pov of the balanced partner n what that relationship really should entail? Im 43 n am questioning my entire life n have been for awhile, idk where i stand in my current relationship let alone how i want to move forward. Ive got so many questions that idk the answers too. Ive cut ties with so many people n dont trust the ones in my life enough to get their opinions. Anyway id greatly appreciate your input n views on everything relationship wise. Thank you miss ma'am ❤😊
When you say balanced do you mean how do me and my husband balance our relationship? Can you be more specific? :)
@whitneyhedrick Part of me says yes but logical me says no, that's way to personal to share online. Let me see if I can word things a bit better. So in my 14 year relationship with my current girlfriend the longer we are together the more strained and completely out of sync we are becoming. Idk if we've both just given up or if there's anything left to save. The first maybe 7ish years were good. Very much the 50 50 give n take like very few issues we couldn't talk through. Her parents had to move in with us and from that point we started to fall apart, not supporting the other nearly as much in literally anything at all, fighting constantly over everything n I mean everything. We use to be each other's cheerleaders for everything, celebrated every accomplishment no matter how small. That all ended slowly. We'd talk bout every purchase before doing it, that doesn't happen now. Is that "normal" for things to fizzle out that badly? Can things be saved, how do you know if it's worth it to even try to save? Does that make sense or do I sound crazy? 🤔
@BrookeVarner717 if I may: all relationships wax and wane. you said as soon as their parents moved in, it all went downhill. could it be caregiver strain? role dynamics have changed bc the child is now the caretaker. are either of you wanting to salvage things or are you staying together bc it's comfortable?
Sprinkle sprinkle ..lol
I know fresh and fit be going to far with their beliefs but I find it hilarious the way some of the women behave to. I watch it to laugh probably too much. And I could never date a male influencer 😂 my husband doesn’t get on social media a lot. It would be creepy. He better be helping around the house more of he’s got time to scroll
I know thats right! hahaha
Lol my ex would legit get mad if I would look at him on Instagram. It was creepy. Like what cha hiding? Guys don't realize it is normal for couples to look at each others feeds and stuff. Share and enjoy together.
I would want to be a trad wife to a certain extent. Just hard. I can't find a man in my area that wants that. I keep running into men that ask 50/50 because they are wasting their money on OF or other odd things like that.
So I stopped dating. 😞
@AllUserNamesAreUsedI've tried that. I don't think it works. I think most men are not ready to actually date. So they don't know what they really want. So many men tell me they don't know or love themselves. Then they can't love or know me...
Men make it clear what they are and what they want. UNLESS they are super disordered...and don't get me wrong, they are out there. The problem is a lot of women cannot face it. They will fight, fuss, beg, plead, bargain and argue, believing they can change him or that he will see the error of his ways. If a man isn't doing what he needs to do to keep you...and you are HONESTLY being reasonable and healthy, then he isn't for you. Drop him. Let him go. They do know what they want...just like you do. But if you don't want the same things...it will never work. Unless kids are in the picture... the first time you see some bull shit, LEAVE. Otherwise, they learn how to play you. I'm sure there are exceptions to this in the macro...but I have NEVER seen a woman with relationship problems that were not easily solvable if she would listen to what he says and watch what he does. NEVER seen it.
I would have dipped the minute social media became an issue in my relationship. It's why I said I would never date a male influencer. I'm not putting up with it, period.
Just some unsolicited advice be careful depending on a man. Even it you do its good to have a financial plane for the future and present.
@lagoonagoon5490 oh no I'm not. I have my own and I've worked hard to have a nice life. Just would be nice to have a family. Pushing 34. Lol
The study you’re referring to was not even done on humans. It was done on prairie voles, who have mostly monogamous relationships just like humans. That’s why the study is garbage imo. I was an S worker at one point in my life, before becoming a Christian, and I’m married now. I’ve had no issue bonding to my husband at all. The main reason I despise those podcasts is because the majority of men on there with the exception of a few good Christian men I’ve seen, have no validity in their arguments against promiscuity since they themselves are promiscuous. If men want to be respected as the leaders that they naturally are, then they need to UPHOLD the standards by which they wish the world to be. You can’t go around using people like a psychopath (which some psychologists have actually equated the behavior to) and then claim it’s “different” because you’re a male. Sure, men ARE more visual and usually have a higher S drive but that is NOT an excuse to make the world a more corrupt place then claim you deserve a good woman when you’re not a great man. It’s very hypocritical and I don’t buy it.
Btw, I used to watch you years ago. Glad to see you again ❤
Glad to be seen by you! Xoxo
I don't think you know what a tradwife is, maybe starting with a definition would help to start a real conversation about the topic.
I do go on to clarify what I mean……but either way…I said what I said xo