Yay for twins! Congratulations! We currently have 3mo twins and another little one who’s turning 2 in February, so things are wild over here lmao. While we don’t want more at the moment, we’re definitely hoping for more in the future! We’ve always said our ideal number is 6. But as Christians we believe God is going to give us the number He thinks is best, whether that’s 6 or some other number!
We had twins on pregnancy number 2. Our eldest was 16 months when they were born. It was a wild ride! We're almost out of the nap stage with the twins and I am so looking forward to having more freedom around day trips and travelling when we don't have to stick with the nap schedule. Sleep is our no. 1 priority, especially with twins! Good luck on your twins journey.
Exactly the same as me! Ummed and ahhed about a 3rd (always wanted 3 but pregnancy is a bitch!) then went fuck it we will go for a 3rd and got twins. They just turned one of Sunday and it has been the most amazing curve ball ever thrown at me. I got so much negativity when I was pregnant with them but it has ended up being amazing. We’ve worked through feeding issues and my eldest starting school and new cars. Honestly just trust that you can do it and find your groove. We don’t have a lot of help but I’ve managed and they are the funniest little fellas ever. You don’t need two of everything, but two bouncers and two bath seats for sure!
I have a 5, 3, and nearly 1 year old and am really wanting another!!!! Three was definitely a discussion for my husband and me, and he wasn't sure for a bit. Once we decided to have 3, he told me he would get a vasectomy after. I don't know if it's because our littlest is such a sweet little snuggle bug, or if it's the way our three all love each other so much, or even that our two big kids BEG for more siblings, but he cancelled his vasectomy appointment, and told me that he's open to another....maybe...in a year or so lol 😆🤷🏼♀️ either way, counting my blessings to have three, healthy happy kids
We have 2 and are done. The decision ultimately comes down to what we value. Quality over quantity was the theme in our decision/our values. Our age, not wanting to be spread too thin emotionally, being able to have the time and energy for some kind of self care and our own interests (overtime). I’m one of 4 myself so a larger family I saw how stretched and disruptive emotionally, physically and financially a larger family can bring. Quality over quantity for us feels right.
I love this - quality over quantity. I would rather have super close, intentional relationships with both my kids than have a bunch and hope for the best. Unless you’re super wealthy, having a ton of kids means that sacrifices will inevitably have to be made whether it’s time, attention, monetary resources, or all 3.
I have 2 kids - 4 and 2 and now in my torment of a first trimester with my third. I know after this I am done. I could not go through another first trimester. All of mine have been absolutely brutal. And with 2 young kids this time it’s sooooo hard. I’m excited to experience this all one last time, just like you. Then I will be 36 with 3 kiddos and excited for the next phase of parenthood and life.❤
I am the same! Pregnant with our 3rd in the first trimester with a 4 & 2 year old! I am also 36. We are not sure yet about feeling complete but thinking this is the last time I can get through the first trimester.
Sending you strength to get through this trimester!!!! I feel like I’ve stepped off a rollercoaster all the time (unless I’m sleeping) and I have so much saliva it’s disturbing 😂
We are fiercely one and done. We have little little group in my town 5 of us that all had their babies a couple weeks apart, and two of them both just said they're pregnant again and they're going to be due in the same month again which is super cool! I'm excited for them but know there's nothing in me that feels like I'm missing out
I have an almost 2 year old (birthday in February) and that's it. Both my husband and I are like 90% NO on another but never say never! I do get the occasional mom guilt about not giving my kid a sibling but at the same time I feel perhaps its just the societal pressure I feel that's been pressed upon me and other mothers rather than anything else I'm doubting myself on. I thought we would definitely have been locked in for 2 but our hearts are so full with just 1 and she is our world and we are happy with our little family of 3. For context I know having siblings is different for everyone, I have 3 other siblings but we aren't super close yet I know other people who couldn't fathom going through life without their siblings and its all circumstantial.
For me, I was always leaning toward 2-3 kids as well. My husband wanted to have a boy and a girl, and thankfully we had a boy first and are about to have a girl, because my pregnancies have been rough and I don't want to go through this anymore. Sometimes I get wistful and think about having a third, but then I sleep really terribly, get hip pain, have to take an insulin shot, or get more news from the doctor, and I snap out of it. I'll be 35 next year, and I think having two kids is plenty for me.
Loved hearing your perspective on this! Just had my first a month ago, and still feeling like I want to have 2-3! This newborn phase is tough, but also so rewarding. Financial implications seem to be the biggest factor influencing whether we’ll eventually decide to go for the third. I’m one of two kids, so even just a third seems like a fun “big family” vibe. 😄
I've just had my second, my first is almost five. I was worried about the age gap but it took me a while to feel ready for another and then I had a loss. I thought for sure after this baby I'd be done, we've had a boy and a girl, and I do not enjoy being pregnant. But actually I'm not sure and wouldn't rule out a third in the future. I try to remember that ultimately whatever our family ends up looking like will be wonderful and right and not to overthink what is the 'right' decision. Always interesting hearing other people's perspectives on this! I don't like the 'you only regret the kid you didn't have' thing because as you've pointed out there are so many factors that go into the decision and while yes you won't regret any of your children it's foolish to just keep on going without considering your capacity.
We have 2 and are hoping for 1-2 more. I think you do reach a place of understanding and “knowing” (“contentment” might be the better word) that you’re done. I hope I get there. I wanted 6 (I’m the oldest of 6 & loved it); my husband wanted 10 (he’s the oldest of 2, so take that with the grain of salt); but I am 40, so I’m not sure what we’ll end up being blessed with. We’d be so happy to have at least one more. Also, you said “serial” in place of “serious” and I thought, “Where have I heard that?… oh-Bluey!” 😂
Thank you for talking about this! I’ve just had my first at 35! She’s two months old and I’m 95% sure she’s my one-and-only. I was thinking that before ever getting pregnant. Plus, it was a very rough pregnancy with a traumatic labor story, and I just don’t care to experience that again - even if I miss my pregnant belly and feeling her hiccups in my tummy…. Everyone thinks I’ll change my mind, but right now I’m the most fulfilled and content I’ve ever been in my life. I honestly feel whole when it comes to my family.
Also, so glad we waited until our 30s as well because we got to hustle in our 20s, create stability and security, built a really strong marriage foundation all before having a child, and we have a lot more patience now, which is helpful. She’s getting wayyyy better parents compared to if we had her 10 years ago! 😂
Currently 35 weeks pregnant with baby #3 and I knew 2 didn’t feel complete. My boy turned 4 last month and my girl is 1 and a half .. .. can’t wait to see what the feeling would be after this one but I think my heart longs for a big family ❤ like 4-8 type of family. I come from 2 (1 older brother) and I always begged my parents to have more. They didn’t obviously 😅. I married my husband who comes from a family of 5 and love the ambiance SO much! To comment of the support remark: Yes my in laws ( from mother to sister to cousin in law) are EXTRA supportive, we moved to be closer to them and they make having and wanting a big family fun and realistic.
Can't wait for your 13 month video when you get all the baby feels!! Hehe Glad you made your decision - agree, let's support everyone where they are at and with what they have! You rock!
I am currently pregnant with our 2nd and it took us a long time to conceive both the first and second, so I will be 39 when this one is born, so this will be it for us. I had hoped it would have happened sooner so we could have at least had that conversation of "do we want a 3rd or no?" but time and life just decided for us and I'm excited for 2. Just hoping all goes well with this one.
Happy Birthday. I have one boy, we agree on at least one more. I think I would love three, but I'm not sure about the reality of that. I don't want to let finances decide about my luck, I know we could figure something out, but it feels wise to let finances be a biiig factor to consider. Right now my boy is 18 months old and I can't wait to be pregnant again. I'm still breastfeeding and am currently trying to get the hormones back on track for conception #2. I have PCOS so who knows how that is gonna go, but the first time around we tried for a month and boom.
I had 2 kids 18 months apart. I swore I was done when my girls were little. Once they were both in school I felt the desire for another baby. We now have a 2 month old, and I feel like maybe we are not done. For myself it was more about the age gap between my children. This baby I have been able to focus so much more on time with baby while the girls are in school and while baby is napping I can spend quality time doing more big kid things with my other 2.
My second is 5 weeks old and I am so done! I couldn’t imagine having another and going through the newborn/fourth trimester again because I am struggling right now! Plus due to complications with my delivery my dr said I shouldn’t get pregnant again for at least 2 years and I think by that point my kids will be 4 and 2 and we will (hopefully) be in a good place with sleep and routine etc so I don’t want to disrupt that. My husband and I both have 1 siblings so 2 kids feels like the norm for us too.
We have 4 and I think we are done! They are 11, 10, 4 and 2 months old. I always wanted a big family and wanted five kids, but I’ve had a lot of miscarriages and this past pregnancy was really difficult health-wise during recovery. So I think that’s it! I say go with your gut instinct; It always felt like I was missing/had forgotten a child!🤪 Now that feeling is gone. We are all here now!☺️
I want to add the age of your kids makes a big difference! When you have slightly older kids that can help out it’s so much easier than when you have little ones.
I have 2: 3yo and 1 yo. When I was young, naive and without kids, I thought 5 kids would be great😂 my first is a very gentle but emotional child, his first year was hell for me. So after him I thought 5 - no. But may be eventually 4… After I had my second, even though he is easy in every way and my husband is trying really hard to help, I think 3 is our maximum. I am with you on trying to do it all: cosleeping, breastfeeding, activities, almost zero screen time…, but I can barely keep up with two. So we both want another one, but with no help that s in the far future, when these two are more independent
My husband and I both came from large families (7 and 8 siblings). We want a large family. Both of our families were able to have really incredible experiences as a family. My husband's family were foreign missionaries for a few years. Idk how my MIL did it being away from family and in a country that they were trying to learn the language. My family did a lot of traveling domestically at least 20 states. We lived in an RV for a little over a month with all 10 of us! A friend once asked me "How did that not end in murder? "😂 We were homeschooled and very social and learned to work in the family business that my parents started. To this day all us siblings are really good with customer relations. All that to say it's possible to have a large family and not be near immediate family. You earn your stripes with the first few years of babies and toddlers and as they become more independent give them household responsibilities. My 2½ y/o helps load and unload the dishwasher and set the table for supper. A 2½ y/o and a 7m/o are a handful to say the least so I think we're going to put a little bit more of a gap before the next one, Lord willing.
This is so cool! It sounds like you grew up in the family I dream of creating! I have one sibling, but I want house full of kids and grandkids someday 😊
We want more but we're also struggling with two right now. And I'm already 35 so that's nerve wracking. I'm a full time stay at home mom and want to homeschoo. It all sounds like so much but I also want a big family! Also when you said armpit instead of arm I laughed out loud. It was so funny to me for some reason. How's your sister, Bennett, and her newest little one doing?!
Snap! I got married in my 30s and now have 2 children 3yr old and 3 month old and 37 but we always wanted 4 / 5 kids. I also stay at home fill time and will homeschool !! Just they way my life planned out I met my hubby at 30 got married at 33 and have 1st baby 34 and second 37. So will be laye 30s and early 40s which is nerve wrecking. But I love my children and always wnated a bug family!
I just had my third one and hoped this would feel complete to me because my partner does not want more children and had his vasectomy already when I was pregnant. But to be honest, it is not easy for me to say goodbye to this wish for another one, even if I got the same feeling that it might be time to put the baby cloths away and enjoy that the two first ones are getting older ;) it just feels right to give the third one also a sibling which is close to her, like the two older ones… Well, we still have a newborn, thus I guess I need time to progress it. Anyway I really enjoy every moment with the baby as well ;)
I’m done with 4. It’s been very hard to meet the emotional and physical needs of my older children while pregnant and post partum. I want to be able to be a good mom for the kids I have, and having more would make that nearly impossible at this point.
I have a 3 year old and 5 month old and I'm done. Like you said I just want to be able to enjoy my kids, not be constantly exhausted from another baby! And not having to worry about nap times etc! Also I think with more kids I wouldn't get the alone time I need to be a good mum!
Down time/ alone time is such an important factor for us as well! I have a 2.5 year old and were considering a second. I'm leaning no, and partner really wants one
I would say also that your and your partner's health plays a big role in this decision. My partner is only 36 but he has some minor but troublesome health issues, which make me want to take a break, possibly indefinitely.
I come from a family of 13 kids, i was the 10th on bottom. Currently im 32 with a 3 year old and 1 year old. I feel very much complete. They’re both intense on every level. Both my husband and i are on the same page on this. We’re worn out. Lol i have very rough pregnancies and recoveries. And only if God decides to surprise us with more, sure but overall we’re good with a boy and a girl.
Literally in the hospital l, just had my second! I am sad this is our last for all the reasons you listed. But also I don’t think I could go through all this again! We have no family around which is so freaking hard!!! So many emotions at this moment
Thanks for always being so open! I feel like I know we're going to be a two and done family. I am curious, maybe you can discuss what factors you are considering for homeschooling? I find it interesting that I hear people doing daycare very young, but then opting for homeschooling. Again, interested in what is leading to those decisions! When you spoke about their personalities, I feel like that is a super important factor. My boy is so social, he knows everyone, like EVERYONE at preschool, so unless we were doing lots of other activities, it seems like homeschooling is not the way for us. He needs to be out in the world (as scary as that can be, haa!).
I think this is totally a factor two. I could see homeschooling one and sending the other out if that’s what they wanted. In the early years I think kindergarten is too rigorous right now so I want to extend their childhood. And then decide where we’re at each year
My husband has 1, together we have 3, and I’m pregnant with the 5th. This is definitely our final baby! All 4 of ours have been planned and we’ve taken great care in building our family. My husband plans to choose a permanent solution next year. I’m a stay at home mom. My husband is an amazing, hard working, warehouse guy. We’ve decided financially, emotionally, physically, and considering things like our energy, size of home, and the amount of time we have with the kids we already have that this baby is going to be the end of our family.
I would like 3 kids , but I might have to be done at 2. Currently I have a child turning 2 in a few weeks and the idea of having another has become more frequent lately. I think a 3-3.5 year gap would be ideal but I’m turning 35 next year, so I don’t have a ton of time. My husband also doesn’t seem that keen on having another right now; times are tough financially…Sometimes, I wish I hadn’t waited so long to have children. But after having one, I realize why I waited.
I would love one more as I only have one child but I will be 38 soon and my age scares me a bit. I wish I had started sooner so if you’re a young married woman and want children I say go for it as soon as possible because age is a factor in all of it!❤
I’m 9 months postpartum with my first. Before and during pregnancy, I wanted two. Weeks after giving birth, I wanted five! 6 months postpartum, I was down to four. Now, I’m back at two kids total 😂
I feel seen! I had 2u2, I’m an intense parent as well & we don’t have any help so as much as I would loveee more kids I had to be realistic about it. Do I get baby fever all the time, but I also remember those early Newborn days with my second and just how much of a blur it was. Now my youngest is 3.5 years old, no more naps, we are at a new milestone and yes there are days and moments where parenting is still so hard that I can’t imagine having another. Hubby went and got snipped so we don’t have to have any stress there! ❤
I’m pregnant with my second and I think I’m done. I always said 3 but my husband and I feel pretty confident 2 is good. I just feel like we have the resources for 2, the mental bandwidth, and I can envision more travel with 2. It’s just crazy to me to think I’m almost done with the pregnancy phase of life, but I need to be realistic with what our family is going to thrive with
I’m pregnant with my second. I strongly don't think this will be my last kid, but I also don’t think I have the mental capacity to have as many kids as I wanted in the first place. I might have to stop at 4 when I initially wanted 6.
Has my third in July, first girl have two boys 6&2. I’m 37 hubby 42 we’re done I’m excited to see how they grow and be out of the newborn/breastfeeding era 🤪😆
We always talked about having 4-6. We are 35 and our second is almost 5 months old. Both births and postpartum have been rough for me and I have had some other health issues this time around too. We stopped talking numbers and started focusing on my health and waiting to see how my body recovers before making the decision to have more, but we both would feel sad if we don't have more.
I'm a Christian, so prayer is a big piece of this decision for me! Right now my kids are almost three, 18 months and 6 months. I'm definitely not done. We talk as if we're only having one more, but I wouldn't be surprised if we turn around after that and have more! 😂
I wish felt that way. I feel bad for my two sons. I can't help but think how will I find a way to save money for them. I want to be able to help them make a big purchase when they're older on a house
I'm one of 13 children. And let me tell you God shows up and provides!! So far 4 of us are married all managed to buy houses and have happy families. And I know God will provide for the other 9 left at home. And no my parents are not super rich business people.
I have the exact same feeling was you but with my two. I had a slight yearning for a second and knew I would always be a little sad we didn’t have a second. And I have never once felt that about a third. I’ve always known I would be two maximum though. It’s my max capacity 😂
I have an autistic son that will be 4 soon. I definitely understand that feeling of not feeling complete yet, but I know I will feel that after 2! So one more and we will feel like that is good! I'm still gonna wait a couple of years though to have another haha, I'm in no rush. The baby phase was so hard for me!
I have a 3yo and were are ttc at the beginning of the year …some days I want 4, sometimes I’m wondering if we should just call it done HHAHAHA I want at least another because I did not have enough newborn sniffs, since I didn’t plan for only one, I pray we are blessed with another. BUT ALSO…whoa kids
Loved this video bc my husband and I agree on all of your points about having 3, we currently have 2 but we know we will be done with 3, I know I’d regret not having a third!
I have 1 and that’s a lot for me lol but I’m also going through a lot of medical issues. Definitely want one more but not now maybe next year! Love you Shayla! Happy belated birthday! ❤
Thanks for sharing! I just found out a couple weeks ago that I am pregnant again, we will have a 4yo and 2yo when our third arrives next summer. We are pretty certain we are done at three as well. ❤
Laying here watching this with my first who is 2 weeks old. The newborn phase has been brutal so far. I used to think I wanted 4, but I don't know if I can handle that many newborn phases. I definitely want her to at least have one sibling though. I'm just a little overwhelmed at the moment. I don't know how all you moms do it!
The newborn phase is HARD. I don’t feel like I really started feeling like “I’ve got this” regularly until my first was about 11 months old. Not to discourage you at all, but just to normalize that none of us have it figured out 2 weeks or 2 months into it! Now I’m 2 months away from having my 3rd baby, and I just know the transition will be only a phase and it’s much less overwhelming. Some helpful mindsets I heard that really helped me as we’ve grown our family: -the difference between a 2 week old and a 4 week old is double their lifetime. A lot can change for the better! -you have to do the first kid, first. Everyone is a rookie with the first one, no one starts as an experienced mom, and you’ll gain so many skills with your first that will make future babies easier. The learning curve is steep, but you never have to do the first baby transition again. -You’ve been a parent only as long as your child has been alive. You’re doing AMAZING for only being a 2 week old mom! Whatever grace and compassion you’d give your baby for only being on the planet for 2 weeks, you also have to give yourself for only being a parent for 2 weeks. As they grow, you will, but you don’t have to (and can’t) have more life experience than you’ve lived.
The first two weeks are so so hard, it’s so consuming and exhausting and your hormones are doing massive shifts. It’s the hardest part I promise! You’re just in survival mode right now. It will gradually get easier. For me after 6 weeks it felt manageable, after 6 months things got easier, and after 1 year I started to feel like myself again. And at 18 months I could start to envision having another cause I was sleeping through the night and didn’t feel like a zombie anymore. Hang in there! 💕
We are pregnant with #2 and hope that we will get one more. I always said I wanted 3-4. I had a very traumatic physical birth last time that resulted in me being in Physical Therapy pretty much ever since and it kind of depends how my healing goes.😂😅
We just had our 6th and I was not sure that I was ready to add another, but I did not feel done either. This was my hardest pregnancy and the labor and delivery was rough. I really thought I would feel done after this, but I'm already not sure again. I dont have a ton of support, but our families did step up big time with this pregnancy, labor and delivery and gave us several dates and took the 5 kids for 2 nights so we could deliver baby #6 eventhough it was a home birth. I also dont want to be an old mom and I constantly wonder if I'm meeting all the needs of everyone, but each time we add another person to the family I just cant imagine not having them.
Mine are 3 1/2, 20 months, and I just entered my second trimester (thank goodness) with baby #3. This will be our last, I’ll be 40 when this babe arrives.
I had 3 in 37 months. We always talked about 4 being too many and didn’t know if we would have a third. Got pregnant and that decided for us. Now I think I want a fourth and I think my husband is done. But I think I’ll always regret not having another. I’m also almost 40 so that plays a factor.
One thing you mentioned that I've always been curious to know about mother's with more than two is how the mom feels like they can fully support all of their children's needs. I have 2 girls with thoughts of probably one more but we have bouts when both girls are sick and I'm just like how can mom's do this with more kids or feel like they can give sufficient support and love. Not meaning this condescending in anyway but as advice seeking as a mom who's wanting more than 2.
We have 1 and plan on conceiving when she is 4.5 (I’m 35, so we understand it could take a little longer once we start trying again.) We have always said a 5 year difference so that I can work from home and be with the child at that stage of development from 0-5. I would not be able to work from home, homeschool and take care of infant. Oh and I’m saying 2 kids but used to say 6. 😅
This makes me feel more confident about sticking with 2 kids. I’m 32 weeks pregnant with my 2nd, we have 1 boy already who is 5. I’ve already been feeling the excitement about enjoying the last baby phase and permanently moving into the rest of our lives together Plus to be completely frank, we cannot afford more. Life is so expensive. So even if I wanted a 3rd, I’m not sure it even would be up to me 🥴
We have an (almost) 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a nine week old. I really want one more and my husband says he's done 😬 we agreed to discuss again in about a year and I'm hoping I can change his mind lol we already have room in our cars so why not?! 😂
I'm at 1, with a lovely almost 2yo who has a demanding personality (lots of touch, attention, which I love - but it's exhausting). I always thought about having 2, and I'm thinking on how to go about it now - but it's been tough with zero unpaid support but also a traumatic scheduled c-section. I LOVED the pregnancy, but baby was breech at 41 weeks... I always wanted a natural birth, and was (am) terrified of needles and surgeries (I had panic attacks as the weeks advanced and it was clear that this would be the case). I really want the second - I don't feel complete, and part of me would love to get the chance to experience labor. But I have to accept the possibility of having to go through that again, and that anxienty is very hard for me... Crazy thing is that while watching your video the crazy idea of 3 came to my mind for the first time. It was a funny feeling, almost like vizualizing a family photo with three kids in it. It felt good - but I know this would be crazy, and now I still have to muster the courage for 2.
Appreciate this video. We're at two and I'm also an intense parenter and have intense kids- neurodiversity, allergies, reflux, tongue ties etc. I def want more than 2 but waiting until the youngest turns 3 to see if we can handle it. I'll be 38 by then though and I've also had 4 miscarriages in the past but hoping it's fine!
Am I weird for just wanting the one? My LO is 10 weeks and I’m so in love with him I can’t imagine sharing my attention with anyone else. 😅 I want to give him the world.
I have a 20 month old and am pregnant with our second. I always thought I wanted 4 or 5, but the first trimester and the newborn stage is SO BRUTAL maybe we'll stop at 3 🤷🏻♀️
I have two - a 3 year old and 8 month old. Almost as SOON as my youngest was born I knew we were going to have another. Even through the thick of the first four months that was incredibly hard (colic, reflux, not sleeping AT ALL), my desire to have another didn't waver. I think we will probably be done after #3, but I also could see us having 4 - though my husband might have a heart attack lol.
I have 2. After my 1st i said one and done and here we are i overcame a lot of fear around pregnancy, birth and newborn phase again. My experience was night and day different and i have so enjoyed 2nd bub i now say maybe #3 but the same time i think i dont want to take my time/attention/finances away from my already 2kids and as time goes on i also think my body is going to be taking alot to do it a 3rd time. Add finances for 3 in school/daycare. So i dont know and maybe i never will know the answer 🙃
I pushed out baby #2 and thought “yeah, I can’t do this again.” Of course, it was twins, so I still had to push out baby #3. 😂 But we always said 3, and I’m very okay with that. I wasn’t sure I would be, but. Yeah. I’m good. 😅
I have an almost 3 year old son and almost 4 month old daughter. We want more but i think finances and logistics are deciding for us to be done. It's heartbreaking in ways. Both decisions kinda dont feel 100% right. But I think with time and working on mindset we can find peace with the decision. Obviosuly were so happy with our two. I wish they could have a third sibling but we will have to help these two be the bestest friends ever and choose positive mindset
I'm watching this in bed with no sound and subtitles on and every time you say "mother" my pregnancy brain reads "monster" 😂 makes for a completely different experience watching this video 😂 + I love you Shayla, thanks for sharing your thoughts!! Almost 39 weeks with our 3rd child and super torn on the question of whether we are done or not (I'm 36 years old)
As a teenager I wanted 5, but as I have gotten older I realised that I would be happy with 3. Currently I have two (had my second only 3 months ago) but I know deep down I want a third the main issue is money and can we realistically afford a third.
I have 1 girl who is 3 years old. But now I want to Surrogate, I have wanted to be a Surrogate before I wanted my own kido. But, I kind of want one more of my own. I am torn between during the surrogacy first or having another, also I am 34 so I feel rushed to make decisions! To top it off I did have a hard time getting pregnant the first time and needed to be on clomid for several months.
I think I am literally where you (Shayla) were a year ago. I have a 3 yr and a 1 yr old. My husband travels for weeks on end for work, BUT despite the absolute chaos I deal with by myself, I don’t feel complete. We just need to wait til my husband is not traveling so much for work.
FYI the company LMNT has been in some hot water for their claims on the chemicals and sugar in their products. Its actually waaay higher than they claim, just thought people might want to know. It was a huge drama in the keto community a couple weeks ago.
I’ve been looking into this as well. I can see where ppl doing keto would be upset! But for me (not keto) it feels pretty minute still? I’m going to keep watching/looking into it
We are done at 2 (4 and 1.5). I definitely wanted my kids to have a sibling, but I don't think I could be as good of a mom if I had any more. We feel complete. Also, my body hates pregnancy and my 2nd birth was pretty traumatic. The thought of doing it again is too much.
Im pregnant with number two and I can already tell I'll want a number three 😂 I think 3 might be our golden number but I guess I'll know when I get there lol.
I have 2, a 5yo & nearly 3yo, I want more kids but I'm not sure when because I still feel like I'm struggling and in survival mode.. once I get my stuff together, I think I'll be ready for another baby. God willing.
Our 2nd just turned one and I’m ready to get #3 started anytime 😂 but I don’t really want a baby during the hottest part of the year and my husband isn’t for sure yet he wants a third because I made it very clear, as a middle child myself, that if we have three we will be having four!
I have a 12 month old. When I gave birth I was like I’m glad you’re here because I don’t want to do that again lol. The first few months I also felt it’d be impossible to share my love well without taking away from my first born. Buuut around 4 months I was like wellll labor and postpartum healing wasn’t thaaat bad, we could have another eventually. Everyone says the not having enough love for multiple isn’t how it actually is. Around 8 months my husband decided he wants a second eventually. Now for the last few months I’ve been feeling I’d definitely love to have another and maybe get pregnant in the next like 6-12 months ish. Some days I think maybe 2 will be as far as we go and other days I’m like 4, 5, 6+ could be good. I could handle it. 😂 Now these have just been my biological feelings. I’m trying to just pray on it and leave it in God’s hands.
Hubs and I are 30. Our kids are 5 & 1/2, 3, and newborn (so 3 kids). We’re christians so prayer is part of our decision. I’ve had a miscarriage before every baby. We do all natural birth. I’m homeschooling my 5 year old. We live on a tight budget. We’ve always talked about 4 but with this 3rd one we’re considering being done. Our first 2 were girls and baby is a boy. We’re undecided right now. :)
I have 2 (3yr girl and 5mth boy). I want a third even though I find 2 very difficult 😵 my partner kind of disagrees and finances are a consideration.. but I don't feel like 2 is complete for me. Hopefully... 😊
I have 2 (3 year old girl and 19 month old boy). I definitely want more just not now. We originally wanted 4 super close in age because we both came from big families and are super close in age with our siblings. Now we’re pressing pause until the older two gain a little more independence.
I am currently pregnant with my second and my husband and I are both aligned with having 3 kids. I will say that as I get closer to birth I am noticing more fear in myself with how my relationship with my first will change. I don’t want my daughter to feel replaced by her new sibling.
I have a 2 year old son and just had my daughter 5 weeks ago. I want another kid but I have brutal pregnancies and it broke my heart not being as present as I would’ve liked to have been with my son. Now that I’m not pregnant anymore I can see how much of a haze I was in. Idk if I can handle that again. But… maybe in 3-4 years. We always forget, don’t we? 😂
Every time you mention LMNT chocolate I try to click the link to get it, and it redirects to their other drinks which I honestly just don’t want. It’s super annoying because you make the chocolate options sound so good, but I just end up giving up on their site because I can’t figure out how to get the drink you’re talking about lol… I swear I’m good at technology too, so idk what’s going on!😂
I always wanted 3 kids, but now I am pregnant for the third time - but it's twins. So that's going to be fun :D
Omg!!!
Yay for twins! Congratulations! We currently have 3mo twins and another little one who’s turning 2 in February, so things are wild over here lmao. While we don’t want more at the moment, we’re definitely hoping for more in the future! We’ve always said our ideal number is 6. But as Christians we believe God is going to give us the number He thinks is best, whether that’s 6 or some other number!
Pregnant with twins as well! With a 9 month old as my first, so things are going to get crazy in a few months.
We had twins on pregnancy number 2. Our eldest was 16 months when they were born. It was a wild ride! We're almost out of the nap stage with the twins and I am so looking forward to having more freedom around day trips and travelling when we don't have to stick with the nap schedule. Sleep is our no. 1 priority, especially with twins! Good luck on your twins journey.
Exactly the same as me! Ummed and ahhed about a 3rd (always wanted 3 but pregnancy is a bitch!) then went fuck it we will go for a 3rd and got twins. They just turned one of Sunday and it has been the most amazing curve ball ever thrown at me. I got so much negativity when I was pregnant with them but it has ended up being amazing. We’ve worked through feeding issues and my eldest starting school and new cars. Honestly just trust that you can do it and find your groove. We don’t have a lot of help but I’ve managed and they are the funniest little fellas ever. You don’t need two of everything, but two bouncers and two bath seats for sure!
I have a 5, 3, and nearly 1 year old and am really wanting another!!!! Three was definitely a discussion for my husband and me, and he wasn't sure for a bit. Once we decided to have 3, he told me he would get a vasectomy after. I don't know if it's because our littlest is such a sweet little snuggle bug, or if it's the way our three all love each other so much, or even that our two big kids BEG for more siblings, but he cancelled his vasectomy appointment, and told me that he's open to another....maybe...in a year or so lol 😆🤷🏼♀️ either way, counting my blessings to have three, healthy happy kids
We have 2 and are done. The decision ultimately comes down to what we value. Quality over quantity was the theme in our decision/our values. Our age, not wanting to be spread too thin emotionally, being able to have the time and energy for some kind of self care and our own interests (overtime). I’m one of 4 myself so a larger family I saw how stretched and disruptive emotionally, physically and financially a larger family can bring. Quality over quantity for us feels right.
*what we value as individuals, as a family and what we want for our kids for an emotionally happy fulfilling life
I love this - quality over quantity. I would rather have super close, intentional relationships with both my kids than have a bunch and hope for the best. Unless you’re super wealthy, having a ton of kids means that sacrifices will inevitably have to be made whether it’s time, attention, monetary resources, or all 3.
This is so helpful - I’m so torn!!!
I have 2 kids - 4 and 2 and now in my torment of a first trimester with my third. I know after this I am done. I could not go through another first trimester. All of mine have been absolutely brutal. And with 2 young kids this time it’s sooooo hard. I’m excited to experience this all one last time, just like you. Then I will be 36 with 3 kiddos and excited for the next phase of parenthood and life.❤
I am the same! Pregnant with our 3rd in the first trimester with a 4 & 2 year old! I am also 36. We are not sure yet about feeling complete but thinking this is the last time I can get through the first trimester.
Sending you strength to get through this trimester!!!! I feel like I’ve stepped off a rollercoaster all the time (unless I’m sleeping) and I have so much saliva it’s disturbing 😂
We are fiercely one and done.
We have little little group in my town 5 of us that all had their babies a couple weeks apart, and two of them both just said they're pregnant again and they're going to be due in the same month again which is super cool! I'm excited for them but know there's nothing in me that feels like I'm missing out
😂🙌👏 this is how I feel with a 4th it’s honestly a comforting feeling 🙌
I have an almost 2 year old (birthday in February) and that's it. Both my husband and I are like 90% NO on another but never say never! I do get the occasional mom guilt about not giving my kid a sibling but at the same time I feel perhaps its just the societal pressure I feel that's been pressed upon me and other mothers rather than anything else I'm doubting myself on. I thought we would definitely have been locked in for 2 but our hearts are so full with just 1 and she is our world and we are happy with our little family of 3. For context I know having siblings is different for everyone, I have 3 other siblings but we aren't super close yet I know other people who couldn't fathom going through life without their siblings and its all circumstantial.
For me, I was always leaning toward 2-3 kids as well. My husband wanted to have a boy and a girl, and thankfully we had a boy first and are about to have a girl, because my pregnancies have been rough and I don't want to go through this anymore. Sometimes I get wistful and think about having a third, but then I sleep really terribly, get hip pain, have to take an insulin shot, or get more news from the doctor, and I snap out of it. I'll be 35 next year, and I think having two kids is plenty for me.
Loved hearing your perspective on this! Just had my first a month ago, and still feeling like I want to have 2-3! This newborn phase is tough, but also so rewarding. Financial implications seem to be the biggest factor influencing whether we’ll eventually decide to go for the third. I’m one of two kids, so even just a third seems like a fun “big family” vibe. 😄
Totally relate!
I've just had my second, my first is almost five. I was worried about the age gap but it took me a while to feel ready for another and then I had a loss. I thought for sure after this baby I'd be done, we've had a boy and a girl, and I do not enjoy being pregnant. But actually I'm not sure and wouldn't rule out a third in the future. I try to remember that ultimately whatever our family ends up looking like will be wonderful and right and not to overthink what is the 'right' decision. Always interesting hearing other people's perspectives on this! I don't like the 'you only regret the kid you didn't have' thing because as you've pointed out there are so many factors that go into the decision and while yes you won't regret any of your children it's foolish to just keep on going without considering your capacity.
We have 2 and are hoping for 1-2 more. I think you do reach a place of understanding and “knowing” (“contentment” might be the better word) that you’re done. I hope I get there. I wanted 6 (I’m the oldest of 6 & loved it); my husband wanted 10 (he’s the oldest of 2, so take that with the grain of salt); but I am 40, so I’m not sure what we’ll end up being blessed with. We’d be so happy to have at least one more.
Also, you said “serial” in place of “serious” and I thought, “Where have I heard that?… oh-Bluey!” 😂
We are done at 2. I'm also an older mom would have never guessed your age. Love all your content I relate to it so much!
Thank you for talking about this! I’ve just had my first at 35! She’s two months old and I’m 95% sure she’s my one-and-only. I was thinking that before ever getting pregnant. Plus, it was a very rough pregnancy with a traumatic labor story, and I just don’t care to experience that again - even if I miss my pregnant belly and feeling her hiccups in my tummy…. Everyone thinks I’ll change my mind, but right now I’m the most fulfilled and content I’ve ever been in my life. I honestly feel whole when it comes to my family.
Also, so glad we waited until our 30s as well because we got to hustle in our 20s, create stability and security, built a really strong marriage foundation all before having a child, and we have a lot more patience now, which is helpful. She’s getting wayyyy better parents compared to if we had her 10 years ago! 😂
Currently 35 weeks pregnant with baby #3 and I knew 2 didn’t feel complete. My boy turned 4 last month and my girl is 1 and a half .. .. can’t wait to see what the feeling would be after this one but I think my heart longs for a big family ❤ like 4-8 type of family. I come from 2 (1 older brother) and I always begged my parents to have more. They didn’t obviously 😅. I married my husband who comes from a family of 5 and love the ambiance SO much!
To comment of the support remark: Yes my in laws ( from mother to sister to cousin in law) are EXTRA supportive, we moved to be closer to them and they make having and wanting a big family fun and realistic.
Can't wait for your 13 month video when you get all the baby feels!! Hehe
Glad you made your decision - agree, let's support everyone where they are at and with what they have! You rock!
Hahahaha I’m laughing at the validity
I am currently pregnant with our 2nd and it took us a long time to conceive both the first and second, so I will be 39 when this one is born, so this will be it for us. I had hoped it would have happened sooner so we could have at least had that conversation of "do we want a 3rd or no?" but time and life just decided for us and I'm excited for 2. Just hoping all goes well with this one.
In the same boat! I’m pregnant with our second and I’m 38. I’d love to have a 3rd kid but having a newborn after 40 isn’t ideal.
@jasminegenovesi yes exactly! It feels a bit much so I'm just enjoying the moment right now and feeling grateful
Happy Birthday. I have one boy, we agree on at least one more. I think I would love three, but I'm not sure about the reality of that. I don't want to let finances decide about my luck, I know we could figure something out, but it feels wise to let finances be a biiig factor to consider. Right now my boy is 18 months old and I can't wait to be pregnant again. I'm still breastfeeding and am currently trying to get the hormones back on track for conception #2. I have PCOS so who knows how that is gonna go, but the first time around we tried for a month and boom.
I have a 3.5, 2, and 4 month old. One more max. Originally I wanted 6 but 4 is just so much more realistic and comfortable
I had 2 kids 18 months apart. I swore I was done when my girls were little. Once they were both in school I felt the desire for another baby. We now have a 2 month old, and I feel like maybe we are not done. For myself it was more about the age gap between my children. This baby I have been able to focus so much more on time with baby while the girls are in school and while baby is napping I can spend quality time doing more big kid things with my other 2.
My second is 5 weeks old and I am so done! I couldn’t imagine having another and going through the newborn/fourth trimester again because I am struggling right now! Plus due to complications with my delivery my dr said I shouldn’t get pregnant again for at least 2 years and I think by that point my kids will be 4 and 2 and we will (hopefully) be in a good place with sleep and routine etc so I don’t want to disrupt that. My husband and I both have 1 siblings so 2 kids feels like the norm for us too.
We have 4 and I think we are done! They are 11, 10, 4 and 2 months old. I always wanted a big family and wanted five kids, but I’ve had a lot of miscarriages and this past pregnancy was really difficult health-wise during recovery. So I think that’s it! I say go with your gut instinct; It always felt like I was missing/had forgotten a child!🤪 Now that feeling is gone. We are all here now!☺️
I want to add the age of your kids makes a big difference! When you have slightly older kids that can help out it’s so much easier than when you have little ones.
I have 2: 3yo and 1 yo. When I was young, naive and without kids, I thought 5 kids would be great😂 my first is a very gentle but emotional child, his first year was hell for me. So after him I thought 5 - no. But may be eventually 4…
After I had my second, even though he is easy in every way and my husband is trying really hard to help, I think 3 is our maximum. I am with you on trying to do it all: cosleeping, breastfeeding, activities, almost zero screen time…, but I can barely keep up with two. So we both want another one, but with no help that s in the far future, when these two are more independent
My husband and I both came from large families (7 and 8 siblings). We want a large family. Both of our families were able to have really incredible experiences as a family. My husband's family were foreign missionaries for a few years. Idk how my MIL did it being away from family and in a country that they were trying to learn the language. My family did a lot of traveling domestically at least 20 states. We lived in an RV for a little over a month with all 10 of us! A friend once asked me "How did that not end in murder? "😂 We were homeschooled and very social and learned to work in the family business that my parents started. To this day all us siblings are really good with customer relations.
All that to say it's possible to have a large family and not be near immediate family. You earn your stripes with the first few years of babies and toddlers and as they become more independent give them household responsibilities. My 2½ y/o helps load and unload the dishwasher and set the table for supper. A 2½ y/o and a 7m/o are a handful to say the least so I think we're going to put a little bit more of a gap before the next one, Lord willing.
This is so cool! It sounds like you grew up in the family I dream of creating! I have one sibling, but I want house full of kids and grandkids someday 😊
We want more but we're also struggling with two right now. And I'm already 35 so that's nerve wracking. I'm a full time stay at home mom and want to homeschoo. It all sounds like so much but I also want a big family!
Also when you said armpit instead of arm I laughed out loud. It was so funny to me for some reason.
How's your sister, Bennett, and her newest little one doing?!
Snap! I got married in my 30s and now have 2 children 3yr old and 3 month old and 37 but we always wanted 4 / 5 kids.
I also stay at home fill time and will homeschool !!
Just they way my life planned out I met my hubby at 30 got married at 33 and have 1st baby 34 and second 37. So will be laye 30s and early 40s which is nerve wrecking. But I love my children and always wnated a bug family!
So good! He loves that baby so much🥹🥹
I just had my third one and hoped this would feel complete to me because my partner does not want more children and had his vasectomy already when I was pregnant. But to be honest, it is not easy for me to say goodbye to this wish for another one, even if I got the same feeling that it might be time to put the baby cloths away and enjoy that the two first ones are getting older ;) it just feels right to give the third one also a sibling which is close to her, like the two older ones… Well, we still have a newborn, thus I guess I need time to progress it. Anyway I really enjoy every moment with the baby as well ;)
I’m done with 4. It’s been very hard to meet the emotional and physical needs of my older children while pregnant and post partum. I want to be able to be a good mom for the kids I have, and having more would make that nearly impossible at this point.
I have a 3 year old and 5 month old and I'm done. Like you said I just want to be able to enjoy my kids, not be constantly exhausted from another baby! And not having to worry about nap times etc!
Also I think with more kids I wouldn't get the alone time I need to be a good mum!
Down time/ alone time is such an important factor for us as well!
I have a 2.5 year old and were considering a second. I'm leaning no, and partner really wants one
This is EXACTLY how I felt after my having my second in May! (Especially the getting rid of junk 😂) crazy how you really do just know!
I can barely bounce back in a year after the first one and the whole thing was pretty traumatic
A year postpartum is still very intense for many people!
I agree the first year is gnarly
I would say also that your and your partner's health plays a big role in this decision. My partner is only 36 but he has some minor but troublesome health issues, which make me want to take a break, possibly indefinitely.
I come from a family of 13 kids, i was the 10th on bottom. Currently im 32 with a 3 year old and 1 year old. I feel very much complete. They’re both intense on every level. Both my husband and i are on the same page on this. We’re worn out. Lol i have very rough pregnancies and recoveries. And only if God decides to surprise us with more, sure but overall we’re good with a boy and a girl.
Literally in the hospital l, just had my second! I am sad this is our last for all the reasons you listed. But also I don’t think I could go through all this again! We have no family around which is so freaking hard!!! So many emotions at this moment
Watching this due early January with #6 stay at home homeschool family 😂 definitely God willing we will have more I’m 33
Thanks for always being so open! I feel like I know we're going to be a two and done family. I am curious, maybe you can discuss what factors you are considering for homeschooling? I find it interesting that I hear people doing daycare very young, but then opting for homeschooling. Again, interested in what is leading to those decisions! When you spoke about their personalities, I feel like that is a super important factor. My boy is so social, he knows everyone, like EVERYONE at preschool, so unless we were doing lots of other activities, it seems like homeschooling is not the way for us. He needs to be out in the world (as scary as that can be, haa!).
I think this is totally a factor two. I could see homeschooling one and sending the other out if that’s what they wanted.
In the early years I think kindergarten is too rigorous right now so I want to extend their childhood. And then decide where we’re at each year
We both want more!
Sending hugs. I have a 3 year old, and a new baby on the way for February. I love this channel!
Always wanted 3, but logistically 2 makes so much more sense that we'll most likely stop at 2
My husband has 1, together we have 3, and I’m pregnant with the 5th. This is definitely our final baby! All 4 of ours have been planned and we’ve taken great care in building our family. My husband plans to choose a permanent solution next year. I’m a stay at home mom. My husband is an amazing, hard working, warehouse guy. We’ve decided financially, emotionally, physically, and considering things like our energy, size of home, and the amount of time we have with the kids we already have that this baby is going to be the end of our family.
I would like 3 kids , but I might have to be done at 2. Currently I have a child turning 2 in a few weeks and the idea of having another has become more frequent lately. I think a 3-3.5 year gap would be ideal but I’m turning 35 next year, so I don’t have a ton of time. My husband also doesn’t seem that keen on having another right now; times are tough financially…Sometimes, I wish I hadn’t waited so long to have children. But after having one, I realize why I waited.
I would love one more as I only have one child but I will be 38 soon and my age scares me a bit. I wish I had started sooner so if you’re a young married woman and want children I say go for it as soon as possible because age is a factor in all of it!❤
I’m 9 months postpartum with my first. Before and during pregnancy, I wanted two. Weeks after giving birth, I wanted five! 6 months postpartum, I was down to four. Now, I’m back at two kids total 😂
Considering how we parent (you mention "intensely") and whether we have capacity for more is great advice
I feel seen! I had 2u2, I’m an intense parent as well & we don’t have any help so as much as I would loveee more kids I had to be realistic about it. Do I get baby fever all the time, but I also remember those early Newborn days with my second and just how much of a blur it was. Now my youngest is 3.5 years old, no more naps, we are at a new milestone and yes there are days and moments where parenting is still so hard that I can’t imagine having another. Hubby went and got snipped so we don’t have to have any stress there! ❤
Thank you for your personal perspective. It was honest and authentic!
I’m pregnant with my second and I think I’m done. I always said 3 but my husband and I feel pretty confident 2 is good. I just feel like we have the resources for 2, the mental bandwidth, and I can envision more travel with 2. It’s just crazy to me to think I’m almost done with the pregnancy phase of life, but I need to be realistic with what our family is going to thrive with
I’m pregnant with my second. I strongly don't think this will be my last kid, but I also don’t think I have the mental capacity to have as many kids as I wanted in the first place. I might have to stop at 4 when I initially wanted 6.
Has my third in July, first girl have two boys 6&2. I’m 37 hubby 42 we’re done I’m excited to see how they grow and be out of the newborn/breastfeeding era 🤪😆
We always talked about having 4-6. We are 35 and our second is almost 5 months old. Both births and postpartum have been rough for me and I have had some other health issues this time around too. We stopped talking numbers and started focusing on my health and waiting to see how my body recovers before making the decision to have more, but we both would feel sad if we don't have more.
I'm a Christian, so prayer is a big piece of this decision for me! Right now my kids are almost three, 18 months and 6 months. I'm definitely not done. We talk as if we're only having one more, but I wouldn't be surprised if we turn around after that and have more! 😂
I’m a Christian also… God Bless your family ❤
Christian here also. Prayer definitely is an important part of making decisions. Important for everything in that matter
I wish felt that way. I feel bad for my two sons. I can't help but think how will I find a way to save money for them. I want to be able to help them make a big purchase when they're older on a house
I'm one of 13 children. And let me tell you God shows up and provides!! So far 4 of us are married all managed to buy houses and have happy families. And I know God will provide for the other 9 left at home. And no my parents are not super rich business people.
I have the exact same feeling was you but with my two. I had a slight yearning for a second and knew I would always be a little sad we didn’t have a second. And I have never once felt that about a third. I’ve always known I would be two maximum though. It’s my max capacity 😂
I have an autistic son that will be 4 soon. I definitely understand that feeling of not feeling complete yet, but I know I will feel that after 2! So one more and we will feel like that is good! I'm still gonna wait a couple of years though to have another haha, I'm in no rush. The baby phase was so hard for me!
I have a 3yo and were are ttc at the beginning of the year …some days I want 4, sometimes I’m wondering if we should just call it done HHAHAHA I want at least another because I did not have enough newborn sniffs, since I didn’t plan for only one, I pray we are blessed with another. BUT ALSO…whoa kids
Loved this video bc my husband and I agree on all of your points about having 3, we currently have 2 but we know we will be done with 3, I know I’d regret not having a third!
I have 1 and that’s a lot for me lol but I’m also going through a lot of medical issues. Definitely want one more but not now maybe next year! Love you Shayla! Happy belated birthday! ❤
Thank you! 🫶
I just had my 3rd all boys. Husband hoped for a girl but told me he was done. Now I’m sad about it. But as I do all this mom work… I agree 😆
Thanks for sharing! I just found out a couple weeks ago that I am pregnant again, we will have a 4yo and 2yo when our third arrives next summer. We are pretty certain we are done at three as well. ❤
Laying here watching this with my first who is 2 weeks old. The newborn phase has been brutal so far. I used to think I wanted 4, but I don't know if I can handle that many newborn phases. I definitely want her to at least have one sibling though. I'm just a little overwhelmed at the moment. I don't know how all you moms do it!
That's normal so soon after birth. Hang in there, you will find your groove!
The newborn phase is HARD. I don’t feel like I really started feeling like “I’ve got this” regularly until my first was about 11 months old. Not to discourage you at all, but just to normalize that none of us have it figured out 2 weeks or 2 months into it! Now I’m 2 months away from having my 3rd baby, and I just know the transition will be only a phase and it’s much less overwhelming. Some helpful mindsets I heard that really helped me as we’ve grown our family:
-the difference between a 2 week old and a 4 week old is double their lifetime. A lot can change for the better!
-you have to do the first kid, first. Everyone is a rookie with the first one, no one starts as an experienced mom, and you’ll gain so many skills with your first that will make future babies easier. The learning curve is steep, but you never have to do the first baby transition again.
-You’ve been a parent only as long as your child has been alive. You’re doing AMAZING for only being a 2 week old mom! Whatever grace and compassion you’d give your baby for only being on the planet for 2 weeks, you also have to give yourself for only being a parent for 2 weeks. As they grow, you will, but you don’t have to (and can’t) have more life experience than you’ve lived.
When she’s older you may feel more ready! And you’ll be more prepared for the newborn phase. Sending love!
The first two weeks are so so hard, it’s so consuming and exhausting and your hormones are doing massive shifts. It’s the hardest part I promise! You’re just in survival mode right now. It will gradually get easier. For me after 6 weeks it felt manageable, after 6 months things got easier, and after 1 year I started to feel like myself again. And at 18 months I could start to envision having another cause I was sleeping through the night and didn’t feel like a zombie anymore. Hang in there! 💕
I just had my first baby last year and I'm 35. I regret not starting sooner and now I want as many kids as God will bless me with.
We are pregnant with #2 and hope that we will get one more. I always said I wanted 3-4. I had a very traumatic physical birth last time that resulted in me being in Physical Therapy pretty much ever since and it kind of depends how my healing goes.😂😅
We just had our 6th and I was not sure that I was ready to add another, but I did not feel done either. This was my hardest pregnancy and the labor and delivery was rough. I really thought I would feel done after this, but I'm already not sure again. I dont have a ton of support, but our families did step up big time with this pregnancy, labor and delivery and gave us several dates and took the 5 kids for 2 nights so we could deliver baby #6 eventhough it was a home birth. I also dont want to be an old mom and I constantly wonder if I'm meeting all the needs of everyone, but each time we add another person to the family I just cant imagine not having them.
This is such an interesting perspective!! Thank you!
Mine are 3 1/2, 20 months, and I just entered my second trimester (thank goodness) with baby #3. This will be our last, I’ll be 40 when this babe arrives.
I am dying at "the deductible is met if you're cereal now is the time" 😂😂😂😂
I had 3 in 37 months. We always talked about 4 being too many and didn’t know if we would have a third. Got pregnant and that decided for us. Now I think I want a fourth and I think my husband is done. But I think I’ll always regret not having another. I’m also almost 40 so that plays a factor.
One thing you mentioned that I've always been curious to know about mother's with more than two is how the mom feels like they can fully support all of their children's needs. I have 2 girls with thoughts of probably one more but we have bouts when both girls are sick and I'm just like how can mom's do this with more kids or feel like they can give sufficient support and love. Not meaning this condescending in anyway but as advice seeking as a mom who's wanting more than 2.
We have 1 and plan on conceiving when she is 4.5 (I’m 35, so we understand it could take a little longer once we start trying again.) We have always said a 5 year difference so that I can work from home and be with the child at that stage of development from 0-5. I would not be able to work from home, homeschool and take care of infant.
Oh and I’m saying 2 kids but used to say 6. 😅
This makes me feel more confident about sticking with 2 kids. I’m 32 weeks pregnant with my 2nd, we have 1 boy already who is 5. I’ve already been feeling the excitement about enjoying the last baby phase and permanently moving into the rest of our lives together
Plus to be completely frank, we cannot afford more. Life is so expensive. So even if I wanted a 3rd, I’m not sure it even would be up to me 🥴
We have an (almost) 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a nine week old. I really want one more and my husband says he's done 😬 we agreed to discuss again in about a year and I'm hoping I can change his mind lol we already have room in our cars so why not?! 😂
I just had my 1st; she's 2 months old, and I'm ready for my 2nd one! 2 or 3 has been my number, so we'll see 🤞
I'm at 1, with a lovely almost 2yo who has a demanding personality (lots of touch, attention, which I love - but it's exhausting). I always thought about having 2, and I'm thinking on how to go about it now - but it's been tough with zero unpaid support but also a traumatic scheduled c-section. I LOVED the pregnancy, but baby was breech at 41 weeks... I always wanted a natural birth, and was (am) terrified of needles and surgeries (I had panic attacks as the weeks advanced and it was clear that this would be the case). I really want the second - I don't feel complete, and part of me would love to get the chance to experience labor. But I have to accept the possibility of having to go through that again, and that anxienty is very hard for me...
Crazy thing is that while watching your video the crazy idea of 3 came to my mind for the first time. It was a funny feeling, almost like vizualizing a family photo with three kids in it. It felt good - but I know this would be crazy, and now I still have to muster the courage for 2.
Appreciate this video. We're at two and I'm also an intense parenter and have intense kids- neurodiversity, allergies, reflux, tongue ties etc. I def want more than 2 but waiting until the youngest turns 3 to see if we can handle it. I'll be 38 by then though and I've also had 4 miscarriages in the past but hoping it's fine!
Am I weird for just wanting the one? My LO is 10 weeks and I’m so in love with him I can’t imagine sharing my attention with anyone else. 😅 I want to give him the world.
We’ve got ZERO support so I think the most I could do is 3 even though I always said I wanted a big family, but I’m honestly content with that.
We have 2 (a 4 yo and 6 mo) and we definitely want more. Id love 3 more and my husband is down but we are going to just take it one kid at a time 😊
I have a 20 month old and am pregnant with our second. I always thought I wanted 4 or 5, but the first trimester and the newborn stage is SO BRUTAL maybe we'll stop at 3 🤷🏻♀️
I have two - a 3 year old and 8 month old. Almost as SOON as my youngest was born I knew we were going to have another. Even through the thick of the first four months that was incredibly hard (colic, reflux, not sleeping AT ALL), my desire to have another didn't waver. I think we will probably be done after #3, but I also could see us having 4 - though my husband might have a heart attack lol.
Just had my second a month ago. I cant imagine being done. But i do know that i want my 2nd baby to be at least 2.5 before i have another.
I have 2. After my 1st i said one and done and here we are i overcame a lot of fear around pregnancy, birth and newborn phase again. My experience was night and day different and i have so enjoyed 2nd bub i now say maybe #3 but the same time i think i dont want to take my time/attention/finances away from my already 2kids and as time goes on i also think my body is going to be taking alot to do it a 3rd time. Add finances for 3 in school/daycare. So i dont know and maybe i never will know the answer 🙃
I pushed out baby #2 and thought “yeah, I can’t do this again.”
Of course, it was twins, so I still had to push out baby #3. 😂 But we always said 3, and I’m very okay with that. I wasn’t sure I would be, but. Yeah. I’m good. 😅
I have an almost 3 year old son and almost 4 month old daughter. We want more but i think finances and logistics are deciding for us to be done. It's heartbreaking in ways. Both decisions kinda dont feel 100% right. But I think with time and working on mindset we can find peace with the decision. Obviosuly were so happy with our two. I wish they could have a third sibling but we will have to help these two be the bestest friends ever and choose positive mindset
I'm watching this in bed with no sound and subtitles on and every time you say "mother" my pregnancy brain reads "monster" 😂 makes for a completely different experience watching this video 😂
+ I love you Shayla, thanks for sharing your thoughts!! Almost 39 weeks with our 3rd child and super torn on the question of whether we are done or not (I'm 36 years old)
Best advice I have is just wait and see. You can’t get pregnant right more anyway ;)
As a teenager I wanted 5, but as I have gotten older I realised that I would be happy with 3. Currently I have two (had my second only 3 months ago) but I know deep down I want a third the main issue is money and can we realistically afford a third.
I have 1 girl who is 3 years old. But now I want to Surrogate, I have wanted to be a Surrogate before I wanted my own kido. But, I kind of want one more of my own. I am torn between during the surrogacy first or having another, also I am 34 so I feel rushed to make decisions! To top it off I did have a hard time getting pregnant the first time and needed to be on clomid for several months.
I think I am literally where you (Shayla) were a year ago. I have a 3 yr and a 1 yr old. My husband travels for weeks on end for work, BUT despite the absolute chaos I deal with by myself, I don’t feel complete. We just need to wait til my husband is not traveling so much for work.
FYI the company LMNT has been in some hot water for their claims on the chemicals and sugar in their products. Its actually waaay higher than they claim, just thought people might want to know. It was a huge drama in the keto community a couple weeks ago.
I’ve been looking into this as well. I can see where ppl doing keto would be upset! But for me (not keto) it feels pretty minute still? I’m going to keep watching/looking into it
@heyshayla 👍 yeah, not worth the worry if you're not like a super strict keto person, but I get why it's important to some people.
We are done at 2 (4 and 1.5). I definitely wanted my kids to have a sibling, but I don't think I could be as good of a mom if I had any more. We feel complete. Also, my body hates pregnancy and my 2nd birth was pretty traumatic. The thought of doing it again is too much.
Im pregnant with number two and I can already tell I'll want a number three 😂 I think 3 might be our golden number but I guess I'll know when I get there lol.
We have a 3 year old and I'm 23 weeks pregnant and that's us done.
I have 2, a 5yo & nearly 3yo, I want more kids but I'm not sure when because I still feel like I'm struggling and in survival mode.. once I get my stuff together, I think I'll be ready for another baby. God willing.
I think that’s genius. Having a little independence before adding another is so important. We’re currently working on independence over here 😅
Happy belated birthday!
Thank you! 🥰
Our 2nd just turned one and I’m ready to get #3 started anytime 😂 but I don’t really want a baby during the hottest part of the year and my husband isn’t for sure yet he wants a third because I made it very clear, as a middle child myself, that if we have three we will be having four!
I have a 12 month old. When I gave birth I was like I’m glad you’re here because I don’t want to do that again lol. The first few months I also felt it’d be impossible to share my love well without taking away from my first born. Buuut around 4 months I was like wellll labor and postpartum healing wasn’t thaaat bad, we could have another eventually. Everyone says the not having enough love for multiple isn’t how it actually is. Around 8 months my husband decided he wants a second eventually. Now for the last few months I’ve been feeling I’d definitely love to have another and maybe get pregnant in the next like 6-12 months ish. Some days I think maybe 2 will be as far as we go and other days I’m like 4, 5, 6+ could be good. I could handle it. 😂 Now these have just been my biological feelings. I’m trying to just pray on it and leave it in God’s hands.
Hubs and I are 30. Our kids are 5 & 1/2, 3, and newborn (so 3 kids). We’re christians so prayer is part of our decision. I’ve had a miscarriage before every baby. We do all natural birth. I’m homeschooling my 5 year old. We live on a tight budget. We’ve always talked about 4 but with this 3rd one we’re considering being done. Our first 2 were girls and baby is a boy. We’re undecided right now. :)
I have 2 (3yr girl and 5mth boy). I want a third even though I find 2 very difficult 😵 my partner kind of disagrees and finances are a consideration.. but I don't feel like 2 is complete for me. Hopefully... 😊
Happy Birthday 🎉🥳🎂
Such great thoughts!! Love your positive energy
Happy Birthday!!
I have 2 (3 year old girl and 19 month old boy). I definitely want more just not now. We originally wanted 4 super close in age because we both came from big families and are super close in age with our siblings. Now we’re pressing pause until the older two gain a little more independence.
Genius
I am currently pregnant with my second and my husband and I are both aligned with having 3 kids. I will say that as I get closer to birth I am noticing more fear in myself with how my relationship with my first will change. I don’t want my daughter to feel replaced by her new sibling.
I have a 2 year old son and just had my daughter 5 weeks ago. I want another kid but I have brutal pregnancies and it broke my heart not being as present as I would’ve liked to have been with my son. Now that I’m not pregnant anymore I can see how much of a haze I was in. Idk if I can handle that again. But… maybe in 3-4 years. We always forget, don’t we? 😂
I have a 3 and 1 year old although I don’t feel complete I don’t think emotionally I can handle another one so it’s very sad
Every time you mention LMNT chocolate I try to click the link to get it, and it redirects to their other drinks which I honestly just don’t want. It’s super annoying because you make the chocolate options sound so good, but I just end up giving up on their site because I can’t figure out how to get the drink you’re talking about lol… I swear I’m good at technology too, so idk what’s going on!😂
Send me a dm on ig and I’ll get your a direct link. That’s super annoying