I feel like this could be a reality show, Onyx's guide to dating with the SIMP- sons. A dating reality show dedicated to bachelors of questionable self-respect. They could compete for the SIMP title and a lass's heart, IDK
When she said "do you wish to simp for thee." That is the wrong use of the word "thee" it actually means you. It doesn't mean me. She isn't worth simping for if she can't use Olde English correctly.
Gat damn, my dude is on that grind! Put in the work and reap the rewards, my friend! I have full confidence you're gonna be making one kickass movie this year!
how come this dude can always get a huge busted girl to make a vid with him....I can only get them to smother me with their bosom and I wonder what I am doing wrong....
She wouldn't go for him anyways, not because of how he looks, acts or is but if I didn't know any better, I'd say she was a straight up hardcore lesbian. I don't think he's exactly the demographic she's into. Maybe I'm wrong though and am just too quick to judge, who knows. The video was funny though, his reactions were crazy :)
So what are you needing all the money for for this movie? It seems like you can do a lot right now. Is it guest stars that are famous, explosions and special locations, etc?
The ending was hilarious! Anyway I was thinking in the beginning of the third question, realistically Sephora is expensive and the dog bowl would be too depending on if you get non BPA and antibacterial, than I realized, I’m not a simp and then Realized it’s a SIMPle answer and to pay the rest.
It's time for onyx to get his own show on Netflix, anyone with me?
My girlfriend came in the room while you were making out with the puppet. Update: I'm single now 😅
She saw that action and was like...I gotta see what this Onyx guy is up to? ;)
More time to simp.
I feel like this could be a reality show, Onyx's guide to dating with the SIMP- sons.
A dating reality show dedicated to bachelors of questionable self-respect.
They could compete for the SIMP title and a lass's heart, IDK
Na
Internet is too woke for this sort of thing.
I can see Twitter exploding about how sexist it is, all these objectified women and such
That tongue at the end had me 😆
Helelelelelelelelee mmmmmm helelelelelelelel
No way out but through my guy
When she said "do you wish to simp for thee." That is the wrong use of the word "thee" it actually means you. It doesn't mean me. She isn't worth simping for if she can't use Olde English correctly.
Oh, how I wish onyx would kiss me like that!!!
Feeling like there's a good "notice me simpai" joke to be made but I'll just leave it like this
I don't care about astrology but I've been told I'm a Gemini. I think when I'm feeling down I'm going to play 1:51
This seems more S&M, or something like Femdom to me to be honest. Don't girls who have simps usually praise and act like they like/love them?
Gat damn, my dude is on that grind! Put in the work and reap the rewards, my friend! I have full confidence you're gonna be making one kickass movie this year!
Great video as always👌
Should have set your goal at 666,000!
*Tiny Boi, Toiny Wines!*
how come this dude can always get a huge busted girl to make a vid with him....I can only get them to smother me with their bosom and I wonder what I am doing wrong....
its times like this that i am happy Bowser never gave up on this character
IM FIRST
I really hope you do reach your goal man! I'm giving what I can at the moment but hopefully more do as well!
WTF did I just watch 🤣
Dat sexy simpin' soundtrack!
Astrology is such a load of hooey. Of course, as a Scorpio, I'm predisposed to being skeptical.
That's makeout is easily the most disturbing thing I've ever seen, and I worked in a funeral home.
She wouldn't go for him anyways, not because of how he looks, acts or is but if I didn't know any better, I'd say she was a straight up hardcore lesbian. I don't think he's exactly the demographic she's into. Maybe I'm wrong though and am just too quick to judge, who knows. The video was funny though, his reactions were crazy :)
Tom Cruise's weird brother looks something like hiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmm
Oh...
👀
😍
Weird Arby's Guy for President. 🇺🇸
How is hollywood not all over this character... Onyx the Fortuitous is legendary.
You are too hilarious bro and creative
Oh Jesus the Muppet make out! I can't! I just can't!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
the whole puppet thing was sooo painfully cringey
When is Onyx going to win @ one of these dates.
The amount of commenters who don't know this is satire just makes it that much funnier.
So we should simp for him so he can simp for her?... . So what do You call a double simp?....
It’s a simpception
Yup... I'm here for the puppet.. where can I cashapp that puppet
Asks for free money on UA-cam and has the balls to make a video like this yeah here's 50 bucks I already sent it
And to think... this was once satire.
And we can pay you NOT to french your puppet
Someone should tell her they invented color.
Damn he date some bad ass girls
This was hard to watch but your answer to the mirror question was pretty unique
Yeeeah, I really wanted to look away from that last bit, but wasn't able to. All I could think about was Oedipus stabbing his own eyes out...
He simps for her as we simp for him
That men like this actually exist.
Christ she's stacked
Mmmmm
She looks like emo Brittany Spears.
She was fine tho
What the hell did I just watch.
This makes me cringe haha
pa fuckin thetic
The reality of this "sketch" is saddening lol
Damn dude
Tiny boy
So what are you needing all the money for for this movie? It seems like you can do a lot right now. Is it guest stars that are famous, explosions and special locations, etc?
wow
Khazar milkers
She's got Irish blood for sure....Damnit Onyx don't make me simp too...
How she got Irish blood my guy?
@@ThorTheGiant Trust me I know Irish, I can smell her blood type aswell.
@@koffinkat666 Clearly you don't. I'm Irish born and bred and she is nothing but 100% American my guy
@@ThorTheGiant Man that comment was BEYOND dumb.....Read it a few times and think real hard maybe you'll get it.
@@koffinkat666 How so?
*boioioioioing
"Thee" means "You" so the beginning makes no sense, especially as where I'm from Thee is a commonly used word.
That was so uncomfortable. Funny. But wrong.
It says $20 you get the screener link only (no other rewards) but if I put higher than that (e.g $25) do I get the screener link?
The ending was hilarious! Anyway I was thinking in the beginning of the third question, realistically Sephora is expensive and the dog bowl would be too depending on if you get non BPA and antibacterial, than I realized, I’m not a simp and then Realized it’s a SIMPle answer and to pay the rest.
Hey Meow
Keep chipping at that stone. In eight years she’ll have two kids, work at a salon, and drive a crappy Toyota. Then she will be yours.
No wonder u need a kick starter bro stop simping all these chicks and blowing ya own money lol 😂
Some tongue playing... You made that puppet happy for while.
i always though the ultimate way to simp was to donate all tje money you & youre fammly ownes ?😅
Cant wait to buy your movie
Wtf did I just watch Especially at the end
You will be a Hollywood star sir. Huge fan. I dont know
That is dedication, my dude
"may i simp?" 😂 Fuck me that was comedy
Onyx dishing out yet another good message. Feel like you are helping guide me along my dewd.
she has a beautiful pair of big Blue eyes !!
I shall not simp!
So envious of that puppet 😓💞
A fine beard, chap.
Oh yeah! Puppet pashing!
For the algorithm!
This just hurts to watch.
Dude needs his own show.... kinda like Svengolie
That make out scene, priceless!
Wow 🤩 shiny!!!
Puppets are pretty cool
I've always been curious, are the Date videos canon?
Yup.
Onyx the king simp
The date videos are awesome
Dude the gloves T.T
Hahahaha
I donated
Horrifying
😂🤣
Awesome !!
Lmaooo
😂😂😂 Great video
Funny AF
Siiiiick.🤣
idunno
As a sandbox simp, I fully enjoyed this.
Top 5 All Time.
Thumbs down for the makeout