Burrito Rant

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  • Опубліковано 27 лис 2024

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  • @NewgirlNola
    @NewgirlNola 2 роки тому +10715

    I love how throughout the entire rant he implies that despite how horrible it was he still ate the whole thing.

    • @nehpets216
      @nehpets216 2 роки тому +621

      He was hungry. It's one of those bad days where you get your food, come back to work finding that you have no real good choice for fixing your food, and you have no time...
      I realize it's a joke but it resonates with people because there are those days

    • @reddeath707
      @reddeath707 2 роки тому +178

      I can understand, I've spent my last few bucks before a check on takeout, if they mess it up still beats going hungry.

    • @funnyvalentinedidnothingwrong
      @funnyvalentinedidnothingwrong 2 роки тому +64

      I mean, it certainly would be a unique experience, albeit for all the wrong reasons. I'd probably eat a burrito made like that just to understand the specifics of the suffering.

    • @pold111
      @pold111 2 роки тому +15

      i mean how else would you know the ingredients?

    • @Kevin80237
      @Kevin80237 2 роки тому +7

      Why would you not eat the entire thing

  • @ZnotQ633
    @ZnotQ633 2 роки тому +4697

    Anyone who makes and defends that kind of “burrito” deserves an eternity in the Phantom Zone.

    • @brandonhawker6597
      @brandonhawker6597 2 роки тому +97

      You seen how often people are getting out of that place? The Phantom Zone is literally like the second most broken out of containment area, next to Arkham.

    • @untitled-gv3qp
      @untitled-gv3qp 2 роки тому +30

      I'm guessing it was like a practical joke someone was playing on the customers, or at least the rude ones. It would take more effort to do that and still fold it back up. Like, "this guy's being a Karen so I'm gonna make his food in a weird way to get back at him while keeping my job". I wouldn't blame them if that's why they made it like that.

    • @Awerewolf101
      @Awerewolf101 2 роки тому

      They should be put in the shadow realm because they obviously already lost their fucking minds

    • @dragonmasterlance123
      @dragonmasterlance123 2 роки тому +9

      @@untitled-gv3qp It also may not even be a true story at all.

    • @veloction6130
      @veloction6130 2 роки тому

      yes, correction, correct, correctly, yeah, yea, ye, mhm, ikr.

  • @thecarrotsarecoming4711
    @thecarrotsarecoming4711 2 роки тому +292

    I love how he builds anger, releases it, then recalibrates each time he has a new point lol

  • @loganeasley4343
    @loganeasley4343 2 роки тому +787

    I’m impressed he was able to make zones. Whenever I roll up burritos all the ingredients get mixed together anyways

    • @swarler
      @swarler 2 роки тому

      do you mean to tell me you've attempted to commit this sort of degenerate act before

    • @fbiguy5269
      @fbiguy5269 2 роки тому +24

      That's some talent by itself.

    • @RP-mp4ow
      @RP-mp4ow 2 роки тому +14

      He does it for a living

    • @redrasegarden
      @redrasegarden Місяць тому

      Still a dumb way to do it

  • @reddisdead
    @reddisdead 2 роки тому +4721

    8 years later and I still feel bad for this guy.

  • @TheLastBlenderBender
    @TheLastBlenderBender 5 років тому +1999

    The rage is beautiful, makes me shed a tear every time.

    • @OmegaXMaster
      @OmegaXMaster 4 роки тому +18

      In laughter yes. I still feel sorry for this guy because you know there has to be at least one of these kinds of people out there.

    • @LunaP1
      @LunaP1 11 місяців тому

      ​@@OmegaXMastersame 💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @James2005.
    @James2005. 3 роки тому +13191

    This has the same energy as Sam O’ nella academy’s “an open letter to Swiss miss” and I love it.

  • @zionmcdonagh5063
    @zionmcdonagh5063 2 роки тому +87

    “I’m not a pelican”
    That’s exactly what a pelican would say

  • @miamesa8652
    @miamesa8652 2 роки тому +46

    "Humans can't usually dislocate their jaws" bold of him to assume that

  • @eatacheese7589
    @eatacheese7589 8 років тому +1351

    "IS THIS JAMBA JUICE?!"

    • @kristinakepler4234
      @kristinakepler4234 7 років тому +8

      The people that work.at that place are horrible and i herd its a employment opportunities of hell

    • @palerider2143
      @palerider2143 3 роки тому +4

      Junky Jelly

    • @sketchycat6223
      @sketchycat6223 2 роки тому

      This sentence genuinely made me cackle omg 3:55

  • @galaxythefox7432
    @galaxythefox7432 Рік тому +19

    “Who’s brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and pop rocks that yours has” is an underrated line

  • @keiranharroun5192
    @keiranharroun5192 5 років тому +409

    OH BOY NOW I'M IN THE F***ING CHEESOPHERE

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 4 роки тому +4

      I need the script... I GOT AN IDEA
      " Now I am in the SPORKING CHEESOSPHERE!!"
      XD

    • @reesespuffs8998
      @reesespuffs8998 2 роки тому +1

      @@Ramsey276one I don't get it.

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 2 роки тому +1

      @@reesespuffs8998 Spork
      I heard that somewhere
      And I will work on that script...
      XD

    • @staciecarrel4492
      @staciecarrel4492 5 місяців тому

      @@reesespuffs8998 The Good Place, one of the characters swears a lot, but in the afterlife swears come out as euphemisms. So “f*ck” becomes “spork”, “f*cking” is “sporking”, “shit” is “spit”, etc.

  • @SpArKz6101
    @SpArKz6101 11 місяців тому +38

    "People eat burritos....with forks?"
    Wait till this guy hears about burrito bowls.

    • @SolluxDivide
      @SolluxDivide 4 місяці тому +7

      He didn't order a burrito bowl, He ordered a Burrito.

    • @redrasegarden
      @redrasegarden Місяць тому

      But…sometimes ya gotta eat a burrito with a fork.
      This was not one of those times but they do happen.

  • @NonRandomUser
    @NonRandomUser 2 роки тому +230

    The fact that such burrito-construction-segregationists even exist is mindblowing.

  • @hithere-lr2iv
    @hithere-lr2iv 4 роки тому +2506

    at my school (public) there are bean burritos, and they are pretty good, but if you eat them normally, it is as hot as if you poured boiling hot water in a sauna and opened it as a swimming pool, and the only way you could eat it without burning your entire body catching on fire is eating it sideways

    • @Normaldude444
      @Normaldude444 3 роки тому +39

      Bruh.... just let it cool down. Your not supposed to eat things while there scolding hot.... use your common sense bud.

    • @AuxTOC
      @AuxTOC 2 роки тому +248

      @@Normaldude444 You realize they probably have like... Around 30 minutes for lunch?

    • @nightshadow2794
      @nightshadow2794 2 роки тому +33

      @@AuxTOC they prolly dont take mf hour to cool down, they take at most 6-7 minutes

    • @Techischannel
      @Techischannel 2 роки тому +152

      @@nightshadow2794 Have you ever tested how long it takes for burritos to cool tf down, cuz its like curry: It takes HOURS.

    • @nightshadow2794
      @nightshadow2794 2 роки тому +126

      @@Techischannel I swear if you put a pot of curry into the middle of Antartica it will melt Antarctica

  • @nopressure6986
    @nopressure6986 2 роки тому +5940

    The more I think about this Burrito, the more I realize how hard it would be to make one like this. This has to be intentionally malicious. Whoever made this knew what they were doing and still decided to be a menace from guacamole to lettuce.

    • @sentsnedd6723
      @sentsnedd6723 2 роки тому +522

      Depending on how it was I made, I have a theory as to how this Burrito came to be, the fillings were laid out in strips meant to be rolled with them being horizontal, while when this burrito was rolled they were vertical, essentially just making circles
      ings of filling instead of a passable burrito.

    • @PhantomationTV
      @PhantomationTV 2 роки тому +308

      "A menace from guacamole to lettuce." Is a quote and a half.

    • @Jray608
      @Jray608 2 роки тому +7

      @Guido Mista
      5-1=?

    • @anonopossum
      @anonopossum 2 роки тому +137

      @@sentsnedd6723 my theory is that it was rolled up first and then the person stood the shell up and poured in the ingredients in order from a checklist on the wall or something

    • @katiecrowley980
      @katiecrowley980 2 роки тому +46

      Once you've gone down the path of the horizontal burrito, there is no return.

  • @coolkidyay123
    @coolkidyay123 5 років тому +8397

    there was a guy in the comment section who wrote,
    "Great story that I enjoyed very much, Jack, you are very talented, but the unnecessary f bombs ruined it for me. If you stop cursing, I’ll follow you. Until then, not so much."
    jack dire responded with,
    "You have to be a very specific kind of person to think someone who writes jokes on the internet gives a fuck about how you want the jokes to be written."

    • @2boysyou2be
      @2boysyou2be 3 роки тому +367

      r/murderedbywords

    • @elshaddollconstructor2019
      @elshaddollconstructor2019 2 роки тому

      Burn baby, BURN

    • @setsers1
      @setsers1 2 роки тому +201

      🤣JESUS FUCK, They're just F bombs. Sounds like something my mother would maybe do, lol

    • @setsers1
      @setsers1 2 роки тому +15

      @@2boysyou2be of course lol

    • @coolkidyay123
      @coolkidyay123 2 роки тому

      @setsers1 this is a 3 year old comment, why the fuck re you responding

  • @ninabobina8730
    @ninabobina8730 2 роки тому +2426

    I have discovered this 7 years into the future during the 3 third consecutive year of the pandemic and this is more accurate to the time we live in today than i have every felt anything could ever be.
    This mans words are my new life outlook. Thank you, strange offended burrito man. My life is now complete.

    • @EvanBremer
      @EvanBremer  2 роки тому +275

      And I am happy to give voice to these angry words for you!

    • @whoisanarnb
      @whoisanarnb 2 роки тому +25

      @@EvanBremer hello Sir, I am dumbfounded that there are people who still comments on their old videos. How are you able to do it?

    • @Devilspade
      @Devilspade 2 роки тому +11

      The first and last time I went to a Chipotle they folded my burrito into a ball and gave me spicy peppers when I asked for not spicy peppers.....wtf went through their brains

    • @v4n1ty92
      @v4n1ty92 2 роки тому +4

      ​@@whoisanarnb he gets blessed by the algorithm 🤷‍♂️

    • @BNWOCHUD
      @BNWOCHUD 2 роки тому +2

      @@EvanBremer I didn't even have to watch the video the thumbnail already described the entire manuscript of the video but after seeing tis video was 8 fucking years old I decided to add to the collective of people who had seen this in the hopes that the original creator of the post would be reminded of this experience again and remember all the pain it caused him and to know so many people are laughing not with him, but at him. I have a chlamydia.

  • @lanalvi5850
    @lanalvi5850 2 роки тому +32

    3 simple solutions:
    Smash it like a soda can so it is even
    Eat it vertically (IDK how you would do that)
    Re-assemble it from scratch

    • @ericgolightly8450
      @ericgolightly8450 2 роки тому +1

      He would probably do the first one

    • @Harmonia_37
      @Harmonia_37 8 місяців тому +7

      Didnt he explicitly day he didnt want to do the last 2?

    • @ChubbiestThread
      @ChubbiestThread 7 місяців тому

      How's he gonna reassemble it when he's already bitten a hole out of it, you fucking moron?

    • @skibble2628
      @skibble2628 7 місяців тому

      Basically- diy smoothie, Corn on the cob style, or do the job you paid someone to do.
      Burrito puzzle :)

    • @sowhat...
      @sowhat... 6 місяців тому

      How will the first method make it even? That doesn't make sense. It's too long

  • @Phenom284
    @Phenom284 2 роки тому +12

    POV: Riddler goes to Chipotle

  • @IONATVS
    @IONATVS 2 роки тому +1212

    While most burritos are meant to be eaten with your hands, I will point out that “wet” burritos (burritos smothered in salsa and/or cheese on the outside, generally served at sit-down restaurants) are normally eaten with fork and knife-but you still eat a wet burrito FROM ONE END as God intended, you don’t disassemble it and scoop the fillings out like some kind of floppy pot pie!

    • @cyanidenightshade
      @cyanidenightshade 2 роки тому +79

      After working at chipotle for 7 months, we didn't have wet burritos on the menu, but by God are chipotle customers determined to make burritos wetter than actual wet burritos. Absolute Fucking nightmare to roll too

    • @bellebonebag8096
      @bellebonebag8096 2 роки тому +1

      @@cyanidenightshade Stfu and give me the five salsa pours and extra pound of guacamole I paid for /s

    • @myth0572
      @myth0572 2 роки тому +26

      “As God intended” 💀

    • @Sue_Me_Too
      @Sue_Me_Too 2 роки тому +8

      Maybe not, but now I want to make a burrito with chicken pot pie ingredients.

    • @Sue_Me_Too
      @Sue_Me_Too 2 роки тому +1

      @@cyanidenightshade Qdoba gang

  • @howardtheunclean339
    @howardtheunclean339 5 років тому +481

    I can feel the pain and suffering within this

  • @russelljackson8153
    @russelljackson8153 2 роки тому +2606

    How do you even do that? I'm impressed that whomever made it managed to make it look like a core sample.

    • @JS-rv3et
      @JS-rv3et 2 роки тому +118

      get a can.
      place tortilla.
      then insert ingredients. tada layered stuff

    • @vicenteisaaclopezvaldez2450
      @vicenteisaaclopezvaldez2450 2 роки тому +10

      @@JS-rv3et
      I'll do you one better: Skip the can.

    • @JS-rv3et
      @JS-rv3et 2 роки тому +7

      @@vicenteisaaclopezvaldez2450 r/woosh?
      you need the can to get the burrito to come out "properly".
      ie in the way that has been described.

    • @DDub04
      @DDub04 2 роки тому +39

      It’s quite easy, though this illustration is definitely not totally accurate. You basically start on one side with one ingredient and put each ingredient next to eachother instead of on top of eachother.

    • @aquafighter10
      @aquafighter10 2 роки тому +8

      the molten sour cream core😂😂

  • @saturnalia3335
    @saturnalia3335 2 роки тому +36

    GOD I remember this post, never fails to be hilarious and this voice acting version really pulls through with how I read it in my head

  • @pineapplehead8964
    @pineapplehead8964 2 роки тому +147

    I love how the swearing slowly starts up and gets more intense as it continues.
    I’ll personally pay like 20 bucks to get this guy a new burrito they deserve it.

  • @bertenheimer
    @bertenheimer 2 роки тому +228

    Imagine taking one big bite of burrito and it’s nothing but sour cream 😭 💀

    • @sunkeeper8009
      @sunkeeper8009 2 роки тому +14

      not as bad as nothing but cilantro

    • @Gandhi_Physique
      @Gandhi_Physique 2 роки тому +10

      @@sunkeeper8009 Nah, cilantro is gooooood. Sour cream is horrible alone.

    • @0x1EGEN
      @0x1EGEN 2 роки тому

      @@Gandhi_Physique Cilantro tastes like the chemicals used for dislodging rusted sewer pipes. Apparently the perceived taste is genetic but last time I had it the taste lingered in my mouth for days on end even after brushing my tongue numerous times. Absolutely horrible plant.

    • @Gandhi_Physique
      @Gandhi_Physique 2 роки тому +7

      @@0x1EGEN Yeah it is genetic. Tastes like soap or something to people like you. Really sucks though because cilantro is one of my favorite things put on foods so I wish y'all could taste it. I may be overselling it but I like it a lot personally.

    • @FatheredPuma81
      @FatheredPuma81 2 роки тому +4

      I've yet to bite into a Burrito and get a mouth full of Guacamole but thinking about it makes me gag... At least Sour Cream is edible...-ish

  • @unfinishedzizzy7582
    @unfinishedzizzy7582 3 роки тому +471

    The Papa's Burritoria customer after 7 year old me serves them

    • @AwesomeYena
      @AwesomeYena 2 роки тому +5

      Do you mean "Tacoria"?

    • @YourNormalProgram
      @YourNormalProgram 2 роки тому +2

      @@AwesomeYena …It’s an burrito rant

    • @AwesomeYena
      @AwesomeYena 2 роки тому +3

      @@YourNormalProgram I'm pretty sure they have burritos in that game

    • @Termina_
      @Termina_ 2 роки тому +11

      The taco game has burritos in it, and there isn’t a Papa’s game where you just make burritos.

    • @yeetyfreety6938
      @yeetyfreety6938 2 роки тому

      @@Termina_ Cry about it

  • @c00lac0la
    @c00lac0la 2 роки тому +251

    I literally just got recommended this. This man’s love for burritos is very passionate.

  • @salembendeck
    @salembendeck 2 роки тому +46

    You have to deliberately do this, the guy that made that "burrito" did it on purpose.

  • @ProGremlinPlayer
    @ProGremlinPlayer 2 роки тому +51

    gotta give credit, the dude was really passionate about his distaste for getting a bad burrito.

  • @amarionm5675
    @amarionm5675 5 років тому +368

    ( bites into burrito) Goes back in and slaps worker with said burrito

  • @ccggenius
    @ccggenius 2 роки тому +165

    The burrito gets eaten with a fork only when it's wet or smothered. Even then you don't want your ingredients to live in their own "separate but equal" tortilla zones.

  • @jonesbaxterdam
    @jonesbaxterdam 3 роки тому +310

    Cilantro Cavern
    Empire of Sour Cream
    Lettuce Country
    Bean Swamp
    Rice Mines
    Cheesosphere
    Salsa Pocket
    So, where we droppin boys?

    • @palerider2143
      @palerider2143 3 роки тому +58

      lets drop at Meat Malefic

    • @jonesbaxterdam
      @jonesbaxterdam 3 роки тому +26

      @@palerider2143 wish I could heart replies in my own comment

    • @palerider2143
      @palerider2143 3 роки тому +39

      @@jonesbaxterdam How about Tortilla Fortilla

    • @jonesbaxterdam
      @jonesbaxterdam 3 роки тому +16

      @@palerider2143 it just keeps getting better!!

    • @palerider2143
      @palerider2143 3 роки тому

      How about we drop on the fucking stain who made this, we drop a fucking uppercut

  • @skywantsanacc
    @skywantsanacc 2 роки тому +27

    I imagine devouring this burrito is the closest one can communicate the taste of the nine circles of hell.

    • @tekaname4188
      @tekaname4188 Рік тому

      Cilantro alone would be the worse, don’t get me wrong, I like Cilantro as much as the next guy, but there's a reason why it's used as a garnish.

    • @prometheus9732
      @prometheus9732 10 місяців тому

      Each zone you see in the burrito is a layer of hell itself. A list can be made from best to worst tasting.
      I’ll make one soon.

  • @broisyougobbling
    @broisyougobbling 2 роки тому +14

    This is a hidden gem. RIP burrito maker, he couldn’t have recovered from this.

  • @hastenedsloth2126
    @hastenedsloth2126 2 роки тому +443

    Y'know, now that I am thinking about this whole burrito situation a bit more, I feel like the person that would be making the burrito would be doing it on purpose. It seems objectively easier to just make a burrito even by fucking accident then it is to put the ingredients in such a way that when the tortilla is folded they form layers.

    • @cake_9510
      @cake_9510 2 роки тому +33

      That's what I was thinking up until the Jamba juice line, at which point I could only focus on trying to breathe

  • @azelfdaboi5265
    @azelfdaboi5265 5 років тому +173

    I like this version, it's not censored

    • @JS-rv3et
      @JS-rv3et 2 роки тому +7

      i don't like how he yells things when i read it i read it in a more angered yet disappointed and disapproving
      like superior voice not FULL SEND

  • @andhispalmugman6314
    @andhispalmugman6314 5 років тому +143

    This is one of the best things I’ve ever heard.

    • @bobrock6438
      @bobrock6438 4 роки тому

      Your not mugman! *pulls out finger gun* what did yiu do with mugman imposter?!

    • @andhispalmugman6314
      @andhispalmugman6314 4 роки тому +2

      *pulls out two finger guns. Wouldn’t you like to know?

    • @bobrock6438
      @bobrock6438 4 роки тому

      @@andhispalmugman6314 *pulls out 2 more finger guns* so were going to play that game huh?

    • @MintyMoron64
      @MintyMoron64 2 роки тому

      @@bobrock6438 wait, what

    • @bobrock6438
      @bobrock6438 2 роки тому

      @@MintyMoron64 did i studder?

  • @dopeynut
    @dopeynut 2 роки тому +27

    A whole layer of cilantro would taste like burnt plastic to me

  • @rubberbandman8950
    @rubberbandman8950 2 роки тому +2

    Absolutely do not regret stumbling onto this gem

  • @wyattspencer8570
    @wyattspencer8570 3 роки тому +990

    Can we petition Ryan Reynolds to recite this please?

    • @ZnotQ633
      @ZnotQ633 2 роки тому +87

      Come to think of it, that rant kinda-sorta sounds like something Deadpool would say.

    • @snepderg
      @snepderg 2 роки тому +23

      You might be able to get him to do it on Cameo

    • @snepderg
      @snepderg 2 роки тому +19

      Update, I checked, he does not appear to be on there.

    • @TheAweman49
      @TheAweman49 2 роки тому +3

      Bot comment

    • @snepderg
      @snepderg 2 роки тому +4

      @@TheAweman49 Dammit. Really?

  • @hengedraws
    @hengedraws 2 роки тому +218

    Fast food workers deserve to be paid more, however this one specific person who made this burrito, deserves to be banned from earth

    • @etherealgamer6479
      @etherealgamer6479 2 роки тому +9

      What if he did it intentionally because the customer was actually being an @$$

    • @hengedraws
      @hengedraws 2 роки тому +7

      @@etherealgamer6479 then the worker is funny

  • @funguscake_owo4582
    @funguscake_owo4582 2 роки тому +44

    this was a whole emotional journey and i loved every second of it

  • @raspberrysig3114
    @raspberrysig3114 2 роки тому +3

    This video popped up randomly, never heard of or seen this uploader.
    But I’m so happy you appeared in my newsfeed 😭😭🤣🤣

  • @jamdimsum2114
    @jamdimsum2114 2 роки тому +5

    He sounds like riddler from Batman Arkham knight💀

  • @MrPhoenixQuill
    @MrPhoenixQuill 2 роки тому +29

    15 years ago, I shared this on Tumblr, and now all these years later it still makes me laugh until I cry

  • @viki3840
    @viki3840 6 років тому +184

    That's why we all hope McDonald's dont make MEXICAN burritos

    • @2boysyou2be
      @2boysyou2be 3 роки тому +2

      Was this burrito made in McDonald's

    • @swedish_brick_enjoyer
      @swedish_brick_enjoyer 3 роки тому +10

      @@2boysyou2be Probably Chipotle

    • @ericktellez7632
      @ericktellez7632 3 роки тому +17

      Whats with the emphasis on Mexican? As opposed to what? Japanese burrito? Burritos are mexican dude.

    • @sparemint2194
      @sparemint2194 2 роки тому +8

      @@ericktellez7632 burritos originated from California

    • @ericktellez7632
      @ericktellez7632 2 роки тому

      @@sparemint2194 mission burritos are californian, burritos as a thing are from the north of mexico, do you think mexicans wouldnt have the common sense of just folding food in a tortilla or something? idiot

  • @marywillis23
    @marywillis23 5 років тому +39

    He sounds like pm seymour...
    AND I LOVE IT.

  • @Mr-Moop
    @Mr-Moop 2 роки тому +3

    Man rolls “worst burrito ever,” asked to leave Chipotle

  • @SepticShockAKAVin
    @SepticShockAKAVin 9 місяців тому +1

    Eating a burrito and this masterpiece came to mind like a wonderful repressed memory.

  • @lazarusrat6159
    @lazarusrat6159 3 роки тому +67

    That's why you gotta go to Panchero's, man. They mix it all up before wrapping.

  • @gogeta5303
    @gogeta5303 5 років тому +66

    Why does he sound like the 'Toss Me My Keys' guy when he yells...

  • @nightfeathery1591
    @nightfeathery1591 5 років тому +104

    If someone handed me a burrito with fork THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION 10 SECONDS LATER!

  • @no_one01-5
    @no_one01-5 2 роки тому +4

    I see the algorithm fairies have struck again and found an old classic.

  • @muff1nat0r
    @muff1nat0r 7 місяців тому +1

    love how everyone's wringing out however much poetic talent they have to its fullest potential just to diss this burrito.

  • @thegamingknight642
    @thegamingknight642 3 роки тому +47

    The pettiness in this rant is beautiful

    • @bungiecrimes7247
      @bungiecrimes7247 2 роки тому +3

      I bet this man is a whole demon in his shower arguments, but when auguring with someone irl he'll curl up into a pitiful ball of dispair.

  • @reb7537
    @reb7537 2 роки тому +10

    I'm so glad this was recommended to me. Every single aspect of this is original and perfect

  • @kristinakepler4234
    @kristinakepler4234 7 років тому +62

    Yes best rant this happens to me every time so i just dont go there anymore and they look at you like you the bad guy ahh and how much did they charge you BC THEY ALLWAYS OVER CHARGE AND FOR WHAT GIVING ME ALL RICE

    • @asnailwithpizza9724
      @asnailwithpizza9724 4 роки тому +1

      @NLE CHOPPA I hope you mean they didn't serve you a burrito in a fucking bowl.

    • @wafflefaction
      @wafflefaction 4 роки тому

      @@asnailwithpizza9724 naw you just buy burrito guts in a bowl

  • @playerchef
    @playerchef 2 роки тому +2

    Truly one of the most valuable videos and future capsule

  • @Scouter308
    @Scouter308 Рік тому +1

    “Willing myself through an EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM, just to END UP IN F***ING LETTUCE COUNTRY”
    Was not expecting that, genuinely made me do a spit take

  • @BadDecisionTheBold
    @BadDecisionTheBold 2 роки тому +17

    What sociopath makes a burrito like that? That right there is a crime against food.

  • @alexkempken8113
    @alexkempken8113 2 роки тому +57

    In the case of the forks, I’ve eaten a lot of burritos with a fork, but that was purely because the burrito I had was simply too messy to pick up with my hands or had sauce covering it.

    • @samual_not_samuel
      @samual_not_samuel 2 роки тому +6

      Bruh that might have been an enchilada.

    • @user-lq1tp4yw3e
      @user-lq1tp4yw3e 2 роки тому +1

      @@samual_not_samuel what fucking enchilada is as big as a burrito???

    • @samual_not_samuel
      @samual_not_samuel 2 роки тому +1

      ​@@user-lq1tp4yw3e Why the fuck would they be different sizes? The tortilla is what determines the size, so unless you always buy smaller tortilla when you make enchiladas, and bigger tortilla when you make burritos, they should both be the same size.

    • @alexkempken8113
      @alexkempken8113 2 роки тому +1

      Alright, just so this doesn’t escalate out of control I’d like to clarify that it was indeed a burrito that I am talking about. Enchiladas generally use a rolled up tortilla to hold its contents. What I was eating was completely wrapped up on both ends making it a burrito. Hope that clears things up.

    • @J4red498
      @J4red498 2 роки тому +1

      you know that burritos and enchiladas use different tortillas right?

  • @zebraburst4743
    @zebraburst4743 2 роки тому +18

    Whenever I feel sad I come back and watch this, I love it.

  • @TheUnbornNobodyX
    @TheUnbornNobodyX 2 роки тому +1

    I just got recommended this for the first time and this is peak UA-cam. This is what I needed this week! 😂🤣😂🤣

  • @Nebbyuni
    @Nebbyuni 8 місяців тому +2

    this is how i feel right now.
    all of the sour cream was on one side

  • @lilalo777
    @lilalo777 2 роки тому +19

    I am watching this on August 17th, 2022, and I couldn't feel more complete. This video very much gives off storytime animator vibes and I love it. I hope you're doing well man, you deserve so many more subscribers

  • @RandomInternetStranger
    @RandomInternetStranger 2 роки тому +38

    I like the idea that you have to literally unhinge your jaw and slowly eat the food with the accuracy and method of a hydraulic press in order to get a bite with every flavor without eating the entire thing instantly
    Also, imagine you take a bite of your burrito and it's either entirely guacamole or lettuce and cheese.

  • @tookiwolfpaint5142
    @tookiwolfpaint5142 2 роки тому +8

    I still feel a deep and unyielding rage on behalf of this man when I think of the burrito injustice he suffered.

  • @FireyDeath4
    @FireyDeath4 4 місяці тому +1

    Nearly 10 years later and Bettina Levy optimised this by about 40 seconds lol

  • @tumultoustortellini
    @tumultoustortellini 2 роки тому +2

    I'm writing a college essay on this video. This was my first thought when they said I could use any speech. I'm glad you exist

  • @HezrouDhiaga
    @HezrouDhiaga 2 роки тому +72

    This man's rage is so intense that I don't think a video like this is going to accurately cover just how fucking mad he really is xD

  • @keddethan
    @keddethan 5 років тому +36

    I want to see someone make this burrito, but also I don’t as well

  • @silverflight01
    @silverflight01 2 роки тому +17

    Funniest part for me is that a burrito like the one shown is impossible to make on accident. You'd have to really put in the effort to make each part layered and not have them mixed when rolling it all up.

  • @DolphinaLF
    @DolphinaLF 2 роки тому +1

    that sour cream middle must've been traumatizing

  • @LadyMistborn
    @LadyMistborn 2 роки тому +1

    I love how this just shows up 8 years after it's uploaded lmao

  • @boneappletea3858
    @boneappletea3858 4 роки тому +61

    If he talked to me this way before I made him a burrito, I'd have made it that way on purpose.

  • @mushroomlad6233
    @mushroomlad6233 6 років тому +36

    The original is by Jack Dire and the picture is aswell.

  • @dhararry7929
    @dhararry7929 3 роки тому +9

    Watch this in x2 speed. He sounds like the riddler from Batman: Arkham Knight.

    • @slightlyuncomfortable
      @slightlyuncomfortable 2 роки тому +1

      Okay so i'm not the only one who thinks this sounds like an unhinged riddlerant.

  • @princessbeaniewiggle
    @princessbeaniewiggle Рік тому +1

    This post never gets old lol

  • @eloquenthillbilly
    @eloquenthillbilly 2 роки тому +1

    4:51 Hey used car dealers in the American Southeast and Midwest, the budget Maverick 88 was a neat gimmick at first, but I already own baby's first bird gun. At this point a set of tools that I wouldn't be too upset about if they're stolen would be a nice alternative.

  • @suetan
    @suetan 2 роки тому +6

    imagine getting to the sour cream section 😭

  • @underpigeon7465
    @underpigeon7465 2 роки тому +6

    I can't even fathom how someone could make a burrito like that

  • @willku9000
    @willku9000 2 роки тому +50

    I found this 8 years after it was posted and it’s timelessly Relatable. Also this reminds me, Speaking of Burritos, i Have my own mini Rant. What knuckle dragging Chucklef$&k at the taco bell corporate office thought it was a good idea to discontinue the 7 layer burrito?! That was one of their like Basic menu items that I essentially treated as a Side Salad to the Smaller Beefy 5 Layer burrito. I know that sounds gluttonous but to be fair, those 2 together is around the same amount of food as a Burrito from Chipotle Or Moe’s Southwest.
    Them together felt like a complete meal and was what I ordered every time I went to Taco Bell, individually the 7 layer is kinda bland and the 5 layer is too greasy, the 2 complemented eachother perfectly like Fast Food Burrito Yin and Yang, and by Discontinuing one the Entire menu is thrown out of wack because from what I can Tell the 7 Layer was one of the Healthiest thing they had (By Default). From now On I’m sticking with Chipotle.

    • @potatoperson1860
      @potatoperson1860 2 роки тому +3

      also i was always told that the little cinnamon things are only served at breakfast... LIKE DO THEY WANT MY MONEY OR NOT?

    • @willku9000
      @willku9000 2 роки тому

      @@potatoperson1860 Wait WHAT?!
      Do you mean the Cinnabon balls or the old cinnamon twist things?

    • @potatoperson1860
      @potatoperson1860 2 роки тому

      @@willku9000 the balls

    • @willku9000
      @willku9000 2 роки тому

      @@potatoperson1860 oh. That’s still Flaming BS but a little more Understandable… then again I don’t even know if they still sell the Cinnamon Twisty things

    • @reddeath707
      @reddeath707 2 роки тому

      The beefy cheese and rice was my go to on the dollar menu. Some still have it, but it's nearly 3 bucks now.

  • @the_homie_me
    @the_homie_me 2 роки тому +2

    UA-cam: recommends this to me 8 years later

  • @NatashaReeder
    @NatashaReeder 2 роки тому +2

    The biggest crime here is all that FUCKING sour cream 🤣🤣

  • @russdoesmusic5088
    @russdoesmusic5088 2 роки тому +4

    I've watched this so many times and it never EVER gets old

  • @mooneatsworms
    @mooneatsworms 2 роки тому +5

    this is a piece of history

  • @mikethegoo
    @mikethegoo 2 роки тому +27

    "People eat burritos with forks!?"
    My man. My grandma is an example of these people. I love her, but she is an example of the fact that there are people who eat everything with cutlery. Yes, even fries, yes, even pizza, yes, even sushi, yes, even her slice of bread with something on it, yes, even her grilled cheese. Everything. She eats everything with cutlery, no exceptions...
    Wait never mind. I think the one exception is if it's not a proper meal. If there's like... A party with some crackers that have stuff on them, of there's a bowl of chips or she's having a cookie with her coffee. She eats those with her hands. I think that is because there is no cutlery at the moment, but yeah... Assuming it's a meal, she eats everything with cutlery, no exceptions.

    • @Bixen_Bings
      @Bixen_Bings 2 роки тому

      Sushi with a fork and knife...
      I'm sorry but your grandma has to die, that way nobody has to ever see the 1880's all over again

    • @mikethegoo
      @mikethegoo 2 роки тому +1

      @@Bixen_Bings what do you mean? Also, she's very sweet

    • @Bixen_Bings
      @Bixen_Bings 2 роки тому +1

      @@mikethegoo I mean that sometimes it's best to leave the past in the past

    • @mikethegoo
      @mikethegoo 2 роки тому +1

      @@Bixen_Bings I know, but I'm not ready to lose her yet

  • @panchoarmariorodriguez6975
    @panchoarmariorodriguez6975 Рік тому +2

    I just ate my first burrito while having this in the background, made the experience magical.

  • @KellyRyan-l3d
    @KellyRyan-l3d Місяць тому +2

    What must have happened was the guy laid all the ingredients out on the tortilla, but rolled the burrito the wrong way so all the ingredients sat next to eachother rather than being rolled on top of eachother.

  • @jmd9402
    @jmd9402 2 роки тому +7

    how is it even physically possible to structure a burrito like this?

    • @DiamondDude-so6dz
      @DiamondDude-so6dz 2 роки тому

      💎spite💎

    • @goldenpig6453
      @goldenpig6453 7 місяців тому

      I'm guessing the employee, for some reason, added the ingredients in their own little sections for each one, and then, somehow, rolled the burrito the wrong way.

  • @Adamlol642
    @Adamlol642 2 роки тому +4

    Why did this get recommended 8 years later

    • @EvanBremer
      @EvanBremer  2 роки тому +2

      That is honestly a very good question.

  • @Meowie171
    @Meowie171 2 роки тому +85

    Today I was eating a burrito for dinner in the entire time I had a line “ a burrito that had been shot in the gut it was bleeding your ineptitude” stuck in my head and I just want to say thanks for that truly eye opening experience my life will never be the same I have been forever changed
    Edit: as a bean and cheese supremest I don’t have to deal with this problem lol

  • @gabr1elawesome
    @gabr1elawesome 2 роки тому +2

    this video is still so fantastic

  • @ReaverTheSurvivalist
    @ReaverTheSurvivalist 2 роки тому +1

    I don’t even like burritos but looking at that sour cream layer makes me want to wretch and it makes me feel bad for people who have had a proper burrito had to bite into TH A T

  • @GhostySweep
    @GhostySweep 2 роки тому +6

    I don't even know how you would make a burrito like this, this is kinda impressive tbh.

  • @Gemarald
    @Gemarald 2 роки тому +73

    I barely ever make burritos, and when i do it's 100% length wise, i even agree with everything he says, but i STILL feel insulted either ways.

  • @Gabe_Wx
    @Gabe_Wx 11 місяців тому +3

    I know the worker messed up, but dude, after you realized it was like this from a few bites you could’ve unfolded it, mixed it up, and eaten it normally

    • @goldenpig6453
      @goldenpig6453 7 місяців тому +3

      He explicitly established and debunked this point in the video

  • @Cyanide_Mallika
    @Cyanide_Mallika 2 роки тому +1

    This has the same energy as the woman who wrote that amazon review for Haribo sugar free gummies, minus the trolling. This guy is genuinely angry 🤣

  • @OTDinosaurScrubs
    @OTDinosaurScrubs 2 роки тому +2

    Why is there so much sour cream though? Like imagine biting into that and getting an entire ocean of cream in your mouth