SPACE STATION 13: don't eat the monkeys

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  • Опубліковано 27 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 115

  • @NurseVO
    @NurseVO 4 роки тому +104

    "Something inside of you suddenly expands"
    Oh god.

  • @jadefox6167
    @jadefox6167 4 роки тому +14

    22:17 "why did you have a dead cat in this locker?"
    "And can I have it for a rage cage prop?"

  • @PotatoMcWhiskey
    @PotatoMcWhiskey 4 роки тому +58

    I think you'll find that the monkeys are a useful source of nutrition

    • @fatcoyote2
      @fatcoyote2 4 роки тому +2

      BUSH MEAT BURRITOS IN THE DFAC!

    • @CM-NightDK
      @CM-NightDK 4 роки тому +2

      i like evolved monkeys better (humans)

    • @S71xx
      @S71xx 4 роки тому

      And rabies.

    • @fatcoyote2
      @fatcoyote2 4 роки тому

      @They Live! Again. The only long pork is long pork. Monkey meat is bush pork, especially if it comes in a can you're heating over a torch while you're squatting in a trench waiting for the Huns to attack.

  • @crimsonshade7931
    @crimsonshade7931 4 роки тому +39

    First: HAIL CARGONIA, LAND OF STOLEN THINGS.
    Second: Tex talks BattleTech is amazing. Keep the amazing work up.
    Thirdly: Praise be to the Black Pants Legion! May your content always be top shelf and long lasting!

  • @Misterunnamed
    @Misterunnamed 4 роки тому +56

    Oh my god, why have I never tried feeding someone a monkey cube? That's probably the most horrific way to kill someone. Plus, imagine the autopsy!

    • @draeath
      @draeath 4 роки тому +2

      Subject appears to have.... er.... have an entire chimpanzee lodged in their chest cavity.

    • @ineednochannelyoutube5384
      @ineednochannelyoutube5384 3 роки тому

      @@draeath Poor chimpanzee

    • @csmead209
      @csmead209 3 роки тому +5

      That ability of the cube was shortly removed. After people thought of it more as a feature of the monkey cube instead of a danger.

  • @AGTheOSHAViolationsCounter
    @AGTheOSHAViolationsCounter 4 роки тому +12

    "In the nonsensical wackiness of the far future there is only...........Cargonian Monkey Cages"

  • @Nanolis
    @Nanolis 4 роки тому +5

    "Fat and clothed you smile wide, just as a bomb detonates inside" Yeah, seems pretty right for this run.

  • @corwinhyatt519
    @corwinhyatt519 4 роки тому +7

    "One monkey cube... Ya know? I wonder what happens when you eat one." LOL !!!

  • @villainus957
    @villainus957 4 роки тому +12

    Congratulations Tex, you got chestbursted in a round with no xenos.

  • @COsArchive
    @COsArchive 4 роки тому +21

    “Don’t eat monki”
    You can’t tell me what to do.

  • @GaldirEonai
    @GaldirEonai 4 роки тому +4

    "How is engineering itself out of power now?"
    Nanotrasen. It Just Works.

  • @iSirLincoln
    @iSirLincoln 4 роки тому +42

    Still love the content, I actually started watching some of the other creators on the channel as well. You're all great people.

    • @theblackpantslegion
      @theblackpantslegion  4 роки тому +13

      Much appreciated!

    • @300lbsNick
      @300lbsNick 4 роки тому +1

      Me too. Discount Tukyid is looking good (I'm on table 2 mission 2) and Courtesy Flush has been something to listen to while painting miniatures

  • @docghast6501
    @docghast6501 4 роки тому +5

    That intern with the chair was about the best thing I've seen in SS13 in a long time.

    • @300lbsNick
      @300lbsNick 4 роки тому +1

      HE TOLD THEM TO BRING CHAIRS

    • @C4Hertz
      @C4Hertz 4 роки тому

      actually it seems he was trying to fulfill a bounty

  • @khmnc
    @khmnc 4 роки тому +6

    i would have switched around the contents of the pizza create and the blood bag box
    just the thought of tom opening his box and getting blood bags while medical opening their and getting pizza tickles me

  • @Banlish
    @Banlish 4 роки тому +4

    HAHAHAHA, what the hell, everything was so chill and suddenly 'I wonder what happens if you eat one' *terrible bursting noise with scream* .......oh.

  • @runei355
    @runei355 4 роки тому +14

    oh god... I'm so F'ed up from lack of sleep and sinus infection that I thought this was a Food Theory thumbnail.

    • @theblackpantslegion
      @theblackpantslegion  4 роки тому +9

      WTF is food theory

    • @vonKobra
      @vonKobra 4 роки тому +5

      @@theblackpantslegion game theory made ANOTHER channel. I would say they were sliding downhill, but it's much closer to rocketing towards the ground.

    • @runei355
      @runei355 4 роки тому +4

      @@theblackpantslegion It's a channel run by Mat Patt, the guy behind Game Theory. Basically he researches a random topic for something and presents his arguments and evidence and leaves it open for the viewer to form an opinion. All I know is my groggy sinus infection affected brain was like "The heck? Food theory doesn't post video's at this time" Then the intro played. Was a fun morning of watching cargo instead I think. If nothing else I learned not to eat dehydrated monkey.

    • @runei355
      @runei355 4 роки тому

      @They Live! Again. I do what I want, I watch what entertains me. I don't always agree with what's said, but it has lead me to some interesting reading here and there.

  • @juliomontega2868
    @juliomontega2868 3 роки тому +5

    Now i remember someone advertising the "Pneumatic Cannon" in SS13 as a "ranged forcefeeding mechanism". What happens when you load it with monkey cubes and aim for the mouth? :D

  • @splattermarktn
    @splattermarktn 4 роки тому +4

    With a title like that, the Domino's ad before the video started seems apt. Well done, algorithm.

  • @GhostOfSnuffles
    @GhostOfSnuffles 2 роки тому +1

    Now you must start sneaking monkey cubes into peoples food.

  • @BigTArmada
    @BigTArmada 3 роки тому +1

    -Boss, I just had a son!
    ~How long 'til he can move freight?

  • @vali6717
    @vali6717 4 роки тому +2

    I think one thing that would be a fantastic addition to a rage cage would be a gibber. Beat someone unconscious and just chuck them in Mortal Kombat style.

  • @Whipster-Old
    @Whipster-Old 4 роки тому +6

    Good lord, tis the legion

  • @treelobster6137
    @treelobster6137 4 роки тому +4

    Last night I decided to fuck around with Mining on GoonRP. Was a spy, and my left arm was one of the bounties, so I went to Robotics to get it replaced and keep it as a souvenir. Cue 15 minutes of botched arm surgeries, with every configuration of arm *but* left arm robot right arm human. This includes multiple left arms in right sockets and the other way around. When all was said and done, they managed to lose my arm anyways.
    So I demand compensation from Robotics. That arm and I went through a lot, after all! I plot my revenge using things I've never once diddled with before. This includes fabricating tools from mined materials. Materials I had little to no knowledge of beforehand. Knowledge that probably would have told me an erebite hammerhead was not the best idea. See, I knew it was radioactive, and wanted to boop the guy on the nose with it once. So I take it and go through maintenance, where I spot the janitor's closet has been broken into. I hop on his cleaner scooter thing, grab a few cleaner grenades, and return to Robotics. I spray cleaning fluid all over the floor, totally maliciously, demand compensation, get rebuffed, and throw two cleaner grenades at the Roboticist.
    I then run over and tap his noggin with the erebite hammer.
    Now I know Erebite is extremely unstable.
    But hey! Everyone survived the explosion! And I even managed to avoid capture and escape on the shuttle after giving some greyshirts plasmastone tools outside the medbay! It was good fun for everyone! I got to start recording these games now that I'm playing again. This really is a game that's hard to portray in words.

    • @KopperNeoman
      @KopperNeoman 2 роки тому +1

      SS13 really needs replays.
      Proper, full replays - files you can run and just see the whole match unfold from anyone's perspective.

  • @DrTarte
    @DrTarte 4 роки тому +4

    I pledge aligence to my pants!

  • @Ultrawup
    @Ultrawup 4 роки тому +3

    Another glorious SS13 video, love the old skool Cargonia vibes of Checkers the /vg/ Quartermaster

  • @ahmataevo
    @ahmataevo 4 роки тому +1

    Funny thing is, assistants can do this with the public garden, make enough matter for monkey cubes, get some water and boom.

  • @aidenpons9584
    @aidenpons9584 3 роки тому

    "BAD INTERN. BAD"
    Too relatable

  • @leadbadger9543
    @leadbadger9543 4 роки тому +2

    Can't decide between:
    Still a better love story than Twilight.
    or Still a better ending than GoT.
    I may have to try getting a cube or two and just setting it on the caf bar for anyone who just walks up and stuffs it in there gob.

  • @a.gravemistake3061
    @a.gravemistake3061 10 місяців тому

    Mess with the doge and the AI goes rogue

  • @300lbsNick
    @300lbsNick 4 роки тому

    When you said "fill it with moneys and hit them with the fire extinguisher", I suddenly had a new goal for my Traveller game...

  • @WilltehGreat
    @WilltehGreat 4 роки тому +1

    I can't believe I never thought to try eating monkey cubes.

  • @csmead209
    @csmead209 4 роки тому +6

    That's it, I'm sharing this to the subreddit.

  • @thecursedgalleon7096
    @thecursedgalleon7096 4 роки тому

    You can never stop us from consuming their flesh! Its either us or the *slimes*

  • @Maddiemoo246
    @Maddiemoo246 4 роки тому +2

    The build up to find out what the title meant til the end of the video though.

  • @ahmataevo
    @ahmataevo 4 роки тому +1

    Obese head of security ordering 5 pizzas? Sound more like real life, not SS13.

  • @Spoidah
    @Spoidah 4 роки тому

    Lesson learned, turn on notifications and hit 'all'. Stupid fucking UA-cam algorithm would rather suggest your content from 4 years ago than new videos.

  • @squatchhammer7215
    @squatchhammer7215 3 роки тому +1

    You know, they should put magnets all over Tom and have him giggle inside an armature to make power. His fat alone is defying the laws of thermal dynamics.

  • @DrKriegsgrave
    @DrKriegsgrave 4 роки тому +1

    REJECT MONKE! EMBRACE CRAB!

    • @tranz2deep
      @tranz2deep 3 роки тому

      Just watch out for the pincers!

  • @TotemSP2
    @TotemSP2 4 роки тому

    Capsule Corp tech is not for the snacking on.

  • @Verse_Jumper
    @Verse_Jumper 4 роки тому

    And if 2020 has taught me anything. Dont eat the bats either.

  • @C4Hertz
    @C4Hertz 4 роки тому +1

    I thought monkies were a staple SS13 food

  • @snrkybrd
    @snrkybrd 4 роки тому

    evening, tex. nothin like a little chaos to put me to sleep.

  • @DIEGhostfish
    @DIEGhostfish 4 роки тому +1

    Would there have been a way to send things to the other engineers to mess with the CE by distracting his peons?

  • @yarronj6117
    @yarronj6117 4 роки тому

    Yes.

  • @TheBlueraid
    @TheBlueraid 4 роки тому

    Return to monke

  • @BeavisSaves
    @BeavisSaves 4 роки тому

    Doing stupid shit is the entire point of Spessmans

  • @Treepuncher1211
    @Treepuncher1211 4 роки тому

    Monkeys are people too

  • @CanuckWolfman
    @CanuckWolfman 4 роки тому +1

    If not the monkeys, then can we at least eat the Monkees?

    • @Whipster-Old
      @Whipster-Old 4 роки тому +1

      They're probably a bit.... Chewy... By now?

  • @GretchenDawntreader
    @GretchenDawntreader Рік тому

    so a monkey cube is like a pokeball except with corners and it would be like swallowing a pokeball and saying monkey, I choose you? Wouldn't there be a label saying "contains compressed monkey, do not ingest??"

  • @raltor40
    @raltor40 4 роки тому +2

    Hay Tex did you hear that someone uploaded abunch of the Old Filk songs in a higher quality?

  • @EzekialRagel
    @EzekialRagel 4 роки тому

    Always wondered what would happen if you ate one.

  • @bigearl3867
    @bigearl3867 4 роки тому +1

    You'd make more money if you put the P-1 Gluger into production #TrademarkCargonia.
    Each P-1 Gluger is lovingly tested by corn feed Kamikaze Cross Dressing Monkeys in ass-less black leather chaps who have diarrhea. (They like to listen to "Flesh for Fantasy" during testing).

  • @Kisamaism
    @Kisamaism 4 роки тому +2

    Christianity somehow always makes its way into SS13 lexicons. Why not instead of exclaiming JESUS! or w/e, exclaim, "Great Eyes of Zuluuska, Seventh of the Lower Breasts of Nephasaphales, Tyrant of the Coral Galaxies!"?

  • @Diarmuhnd
    @Diarmuhnd 4 роки тому

    *ALL HAIL CARGONIA!*

  • @mikecampos1193
    @mikecampos1193 4 роки тому

    God help us if they eat us not bananas.

  • @Dave96939
    @Dave96939 4 роки тому

    heeeeey just in time

  • @godzillagamer6942
    @godzillagamer6942 4 роки тому

    Know it was vg the second I hear krunk

  • @videogames1407
    @videogames1407 4 роки тому +1

    When will you take up doing voice work for audiobooks
    please daddy tex i need my bedtime stories

    • @theblackpantslegion
      @theblackpantslegion  4 роки тому +4

      It doesn't pay much. Also I think I'd get tired of it

    • @videogames1407
      @videogames1407 4 роки тому

      @They Live! Again. I will begin saving my wealth to purchase Tex and Duncan's services to record The Neverending Story so I can at last sleep well at night.

  • @Yarkoonian
    @Yarkoonian 3 роки тому

    What are the kommando jobs on this? Is this vg?

  • @magenta4926
    @magenta4926 4 роки тому

    Isn't that weegee station? I'm surprised. I thought monkey business was Goon exclusive.

    • @csmead209
      @csmead209 4 роки тому +1

      Lot of servers have monkeys, just that goon has really aggressive AI to control monkeys in combat situations.
      Personally, before the rebase, I found it possible slap down a whole troop of 25 monkeys if you had the right protection. Now that we are TG based, I don't know how the fuck anyone could ever manage to grow enough biomass to make that many monkeys.
      Also no one wants to play cook or botanist anymore because the weight of the whole station is on their shoulders and no one ever manages to upgrade their things.
      Same with cargo, recent PR on GitHub for TG suggest that maintainers are planing to remove mining and cargo from the game entirely.

    • @Whipster-Old
      @Whipster-Old 4 роки тому +1

      @@csmead209 Tex will be devastated.

    • @Whipster-Old
      @Whipster-Old 4 роки тому

      @@csmead209 incidentally, thanks for pointing the pulls out, some of this is hilarious.

    • @jimnpen8451
      @jimnpen8451 4 роки тому

      @@csmead209 what!

    • @jimnpen8451
      @jimnpen8451 4 роки тому

      @@csmead209 man I just started playing and thenone role I play is going bye bye, great..

  • @Whipster-Old
    @Whipster-Old 4 роки тому

    Can we weaponise this?

    • @corwinhyatt519
      @corwinhyatt519 4 роки тому +1

      Everything can be weaponized. Just takes some ingenuity. Or desperation. Desperation works too.

    • @Whipster-Old
      @Whipster-Old 4 роки тому

      @@corwinhyatt519 that's what the copper said when I got stopped at Heathrow

    • @corwinhyatt519
      @corwinhyatt519 4 роки тому

      @@Whipster-Old They don't like it when you reply by pointing out that it basically makes their job pointless.

    • @corwinhyatt519
      @corwinhyatt519 4 роки тому

      @They Live! Again. LOLOL!!! TOOO TRUE!!!

  • @Thyrork
    @Thyrork 4 роки тому

    What's that video title? Eat the monkies?

  • @jeremyreed7515
    @jeremyreed7515 4 роки тому

    Hmmm seems a claner saw this video I see that one dislike

  • @bthsr7113
    @bthsr7113 4 роки тому

    36:23 I see someone's a bit racist. Also that the chat needs a filter patch.

  • @joaoprudente3704
    @joaoprudente3704 4 роки тому

    volume too low...please.i want to see the video

  • @wargriffin5
    @wargriffin5 4 роки тому +2

    "Don't eat the monkeys."
    China:

  • @rindisomanly4092
    @rindisomanly4092 2 роки тому

    This digestion process produces gases, such as methane as a byproduct, which are then released as flatulence.[41][42]