Ep. 21 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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  • Опубліковано 2 лют 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,4 тис.

  • @sirachasugar
    @sirachasugar 4 роки тому +2417

    I can’t believe Bert’s special is just him reading Mein Kampf

    • @aroff595
      @aroff595 4 роки тому +105

      Obviously not true. Burnt can't read out loud.

    • @MonstaTimDubstep
      @MonstaTimDubstep 4 роки тому +25

      Super racist tho

    • @tical0187
      @tical0187 4 роки тому +7

      Siracha Sugar Well played :-) , Pröst! Berts Burnt variation destroys the Andy Kaufman read!

    • @patrickb1439
      @patrickb1439 4 роки тому +8

      And I cant believe Tom has MAKEUP on in his

    • @sirforsa
      @sirforsa 4 роки тому +24

      @Ryan Sherlin Well I can only answer for myself, and partly for the KKK, but Burnt Crystal is just one step too far for the white supremacist community. It was always supposed to be an inclusive environment for us melatonin defficient, a force for the future if you will, and Berks behaviour is not acceptable on any level.

  • @shermangraves6715
    @shermangraves6715 4 роки тому +817

    Jesus, I was shocked when Bert said "The Trail of Tears was necessary."

    • @familiarsting4108
      @familiarsting4108 4 роки тому +42

      Sherman Graves I wasn’t.

    • @Noone-jn3jp
      @Noone-jn3jp 4 роки тому +33

      My issue was the statement “ ...too bad we’re not Russia, that country is way wider”
      Christ man

    • @calvini2860
      @calvini2860 4 роки тому +15

      @@nikolashoag942 which is why we should have left them where they were and not came and poisoned this land.

    • @xxxpyrosxxx
      @xxxpyrosxxx 4 роки тому +6

      @@Noone-jn3jp damn this is so mean, I kind of dig it.

    • @slados1
      @slados1 4 роки тому +10

      Yeah, that was pretty bad... I agree with him on the gas chambers though!

  • @sfreimark1
    @sfreimark1 4 роки тому +232

    Bert's hat looks like he's the sound engineer for U2.

    • @nedaskcor7206
      @nedaskcor7206 4 роки тому

      If he shaves and throws on some glasses you’ll find him in u2 the sweetest thing video

  • @slasher6547
    @slasher6547 4 роки тому +584

    Good timing for this special to come out, everyone’s trapped at home

    • @iv6789
      @iv6789 4 роки тому +7

      Mine says it won't come put till tues

    • @edgar6368
      @edgar6368 4 роки тому +2

      I’ll watch repeat specials before I watch his

    • @Mr.Potato420
      @Mr.Potato420 4 роки тому +1

      I have to work but lucky for me I don't have to be around people when working but I need money!

    • @biguprochester
      @biguprochester 4 роки тому

      Perfect time for a cawk tease

    • @GK-qc5ry
      @GK-qc5ry 4 роки тому

      Schulz said that he wanted to do this but the taping was next month.

  • @simongammelgaard9930
    @simongammelgaard9930 4 роки тому +819

    That is actually a sombrero Bert is wearing. He is just a little bloated...

    • @kevinl3254
      @kevinl3254 4 роки тому +4

      Bertford and Buns amirite?

    • @kevindube7096
      @kevindube7096 4 роки тому +7

      It’s the sodium

    • @DekkarJr
      @DekkarJr 4 роки тому +2

      @@kevindube7096 and the alcohol bloat

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 4 роки тому +3

      @@DekkarJr Yeah ... in this episode, he seems to be right up there at the point in the past where Joey Diaz commented that he didn't recognise Bert he was so fat -- Joey thought he was a really fat Asian guy due to how Bert's eyes were down to tiny slits through a layer of face fat.

    • @kjcorder
      @kjcorder 4 роки тому +1

      smoked meats and booze for weeks on a tour bus will do that

  • @bridgerarnold6412
    @bridgerarnold6412 4 роки тому +221

    I love how Berts solution to profusely sweating during his special was, not to lose weight and get in shape....but to instead get half naked for the rest of his career 😂

    • @neverlistentome
      @neverlistentome 4 роки тому +14

      The man is an innovator if nothing else.

    • @hay7501
      @hay7501 4 роки тому +9

      He’s a jeenieus

    • @craigkoehler4363
      @craigkoehler4363 4 роки тому +2

      He'll be dead within ten years.

    • @mrs.riche3939
      @mrs.riche3939 4 роки тому +1

      #solutions #problemsolver the CDC needs to hire him to spin COVID19

    • @HENSONnOZ
      @HENSONnOZ 4 роки тому

      Oh man 😂😂😂

  • @Cyxz666
    @Cyxz666 4 роки тому +108

    These two bears ain't hibernating during the end of the world, Bert's out here with a torch and hood leading the way

  • @jpSmyC
    @jpSmyC 4 роки тому +797

    Bert looks like Smokey the bear shaved and put on weight.

    • @Born2BDown1981
      @Born2BDown1981 4 роки тому +3

      That was my first thought too!

    • @KitchenerLeslie2
      @KitchenerLeslie2 4 роки тому +8

      And developed a drinking problem, and racism.

    • @Kbwintyy
      @Kbwintyy 4 роки тому +4

      j p they don’t call it two bears one cave for nothin

    • @devinlauwerier404
      @devinlauwerier404 4 роки тому +2

      *good comment sir.

    • @mrs.riche3939
      @mrs.riche3939 4 роки тому

      No he looks like Smokey with mage! Get that bear a vest and a badge!!!

  • @calebtainter5088
    @calebtainter5088 4 роки тому +631

    Tom is so naturally pretty, I wish he didn't think he needed all that makeup

  • @JonVG
    @JonVG 4 роки тому +248

    Manscaped: Everybody knows Bert hates a Knicker.

    • @jessestumpf190
      @jessestumpf190 4 роки тому +13

      Jesus, that’s perfect

    • @spencermanyet5336
      @spencermanyet5336 4 роки тому +14

      Now THIS is why I read the comments!

    • @sirachasugar
      @sirachasugar 4 роки тому +7

      Bro, I don’t even deserve the likes I got on my comment, this is top tier

    • @JonVG
      @JonVG 4 роки тому +1

      @@sirachasugar yours was great too, btw how is Berts german?

    • @sirachasugar
      @sirachasugar 4 роки тому +3

      jonathan wallmark high and tight!

  • @notthatkindofdoctormatt1036
    @notthatkindofdoctormatt1036 4 роки тому +389

    Tom didn't even have to try to make Bert look like an alcoholic.

    • @shawnmcvey7789
      @shawnmcvey7789 4 роки тому +3

      Bert did enough on his recent LOS appearance

    • @patrickb1439
      @patrickb1439 4 роки тому +9

      ....CUZ HE IS

    • @ethanking4954
      @ethanking4954 4 роки тому +4

      He ran through those beers

    • @josef2012
      @josef2012 4 роки тому +5

      Straight out da gate.

    • @devinlauwerier404
      @devinlauwerier404 4 роки тому

      I'm literally reading this listening to him do that cheap no-name knife ad.

  • @sbordi
    @sbordi 4 роки тому +124

    Underrated joke: Bert saying he almost named his dick Ernie

    • @laurav19
      @laurav19 4 роки тому +6

      HA I laughed when he said it but it only just clicked how clever it was lol

    • @mastergwaha
      @mastergwaha 2 роки тому

      i didnt even get it until i read your comment... amazing

  • @NFMorley
    @NFMorley 4 роки тому +350

    Tom looks different without makeup - i was hoping his transition into a geisha for his special was going to be a permanent one.

    • @willcollins3885
      @willcollins3885 4 роки тому +2

      Hahahahahhahahaha

    • @NFMorley
      @NFMorley 4 роки тому +6

      Also here's the 'old' trailer before Netflix decided to edit it! ua-cam.com/video/A8Ph0JtOnns/v-deo.html

    • @EternalResonance
      @EternalResonance 4 роки тому +3

      now all you non proto following chomos know why he doesn't wear a shirt.

    • @EternalResonance
      @EternalResonance 4 роки тому

      dont treat your kid like a god tom. your own fault for making a narcissistic kid

    • @cbm3
      @cbm3 4 роки тому

      Wait he isnt wearing the makeup as a joke? Like that one Instagram cool dude who looks exactly like this? You guys know who Im talking about, but I cant remember his name now...

  • @garrettrubin6496
    @garrettrubin6496 4 роки тому +46

    This podcast: Tom facilitating Bert talking about himself.

  • @mitchellkruszewski2616
    @mitchellkruszewski2616 4 роки тому +237

    My tongue got caught in my teeth and I couldn’t hear this entire episode!

  • @vandelayindustriesreal
    @vandelayindustriesreal 4 роки тому +1

    The best part about this podcast is watching Tom set up audio clips with the way he reacts to things. Every glance at the camera is gold.

  • @Kris_Toffer
    @Kris_Toffer 4 роки тому +179

    2:43 for intro, 3:21 for actual episode.
    edit: 30:30 for ad break
    edit2: 58:50 for second

    • @TyLockton
      @TyLockton 4 роки тому +1

      thanks, thought I missed the sound bite setup.

    • @freddymeisner
      @freddymeisner 4 роки тому +5

      I thought the ad breaks were pretty short this time thank the lord. Still wild they have 6 sponsors for each podcast lol

    • @metalfuk1
      @metalfuk1 4 роки тому +3

      There’s always one of you in the comments. You’re true gentlemen.

    • @kraidur8693
      @kraidur8693 4 роки тому +1

      ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

    • @maxsilbert
      @maxsilbert 4 роки тому +1

      Hero

  • @chessboxtv
    @chessboxtv 4 роки тому +1

    12:15 Bro. Can we talk about how much there is to unpack here? Bert's a damn wildman. Tom can basically relate to bert, but it's no secret that there's still quite a lot of distance there. Tom sits there, watching Bert's story turn so suddenly personal and vulnerable, and has no idea what to do. He just has to watch Bert work through these emotions that are coming through in this super Bert-ass way, and it clearly makes him uncomfy as shit. But he rolls. He lets Bert lead, and doesn't judge the man. The sigh at 12:19 is one of the most beautiful encapsulations of that facet of friendship I've ever witnessed. You gotta let your crazy friends have room dawg, like a wild horse or some shit. inspiring.

  • @duck_poppa
    @duck_poppa 4 роки тому +113

    Bert is slowly starting to look like the "MuhSHEEN" from Toms dance video. Dude is working out but doubling in size

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 4 роки тому +2

      Bert's "Working Out" vision is exactly how working out is portrayed in old Bugs Bunny cartoons. He reckons he can shovel a ton of booze and shitty food into himself from Thursday to Sunday, then he goes for a run and hot spin and lifts a few weights on Monday, and he thinks he's whipped off that 65 pounds of gut fat, bloat, and artery hardening, and simultaneously, gotten pumped up, ripped, and "skinny". [Bert: "Skinny" is not a fitness goal. That's what happens when you're in a 3rd world country and can't find food to eat].

    • @duck_poppa
      @duck_poppa 4 роки тому +1

      @@SteveCossaboom After this Podcast he went and Worked out and I can tell you that someone like him with high blood pressure going and working out after drinking 4 to 5 beers his blood pressure was probably in the one nineties to 1 tueni range absolutely terrible even on medication.

    • @el.blanco552
      @el.blanco552 4 роки тому +1

      You people are the reason he's so annoyingly concerned about his weight.

    • @duck_poppa
      @duck_poppa 4 роки тому

      @@orrytownes2766 that's the realest shit I have heard lol.

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 4 роки тому

      @@el.blanco552 The fact that he's a fat bastard, and almost everyone he knows or works with isn't, might also be a source of his concern!

  • @chrismagovern
    @chrismagovern 4 роки тому +70

    36:26 Bert: "Coronavi-- or I mean, not coronavirus. Rocco Siffredi ...."

  • @smelly1444
    @smelly1444 4 роки тому +42

    "WHY DO I HAVE TO BUY PANTS" -Burnt Kristen

  • @JohnnyDee8008
    @JohnnyDee8008 4 роки тому +5

    The Rocco Suffretti story had me laughing to tears..... HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

  • @92ireland92
    @92ireland92 4 роки тому +98

    Bert rented a storage unit to hold all the titos he has been hoarding for the coronavirus shut in

    • @whydochair9552
      @whydochair9552 4 роки тому +4

      Ireland I’m in you rn

    • @gator4458
      @gator4458 4 роки тому +1

      If he is shut in how will he get to his storage unit?

  • @SunG0D936
    @SunG0D936 4 роки тому +1

    That opening banter between them perfectly summarizes why Tom and Bert make good podcast cohosts. That was objectively funny

  • @jopo7996
    @jopo7996 4 роки тому +261

    I hope Tom hasn't contracted Covid 19. His lips are usually a nice bright red when he's healthy.

    • @leathery420
      @leathery420 4 роки тому +2

      I don't think Burnt Crystals and healthy belong in the same sentence.

    • @jobbysandwich1797
      @jobbysandwich1797 4 роки тому

      Covid-19 is the disease, SARS-CoV-2 is the virus

    • @patrickb1439
      @patrickb1439 4 роки тому +4

      I heard cov-19 gives you "makeup face" 💄🐷

    • @well_as_an_expert_id_say
      @well_as_an_expert_id_say 4 роки тому +4

      Weird observation, but okay

    • @jonanderson5137
      @jonanderson5137 4 роки тому +1

      Jopo not holding back on porcelain princess T-bunz

  • @ish474
    @ish474 4 роки тому +30

    The same reason you like realistic porn is why people love podcasts like this. Just two actual friends talking the way they actually talk

  • @cjhansen5715
    @cjhansen5715 4 роки тому +25

    Bart drinking that beer reminded me of how my hamster drank after I forgot to fill his water bottle for a few days

    • @Emerald_Knight45
      @Emerald_Knight45 4 роки тому

      Bart?

    • @cjhansen5715
      @cjhansen5715 4 роки тому +1

      @@Emerald_Knight45 You know Bart Cryssler? The worlds fattest most racist comedian?

  • @shehryar221
    @shehryar221 4 роки тому +4

    I will never forget the phrase "you want this cooter? its gettin' hot n sticky"

  • @ouyoungbae
    @ouyoungbae 4 роки тому +9

    Bert will definitely be the first comic to start touring again lmao

    • @VideoNozoki
      @VideoNozoki 4 роки тому

      Bert's current tour title: "patient zero"

  • @marcushillerstrom25
    @marcushillerstrom25 4 роки тому +43

    Take a shot every time Bert finish a sentence. You'll stay stone sober.

    • @schuylerb3963
      @schuylerb3963 4 роки тому +1

      Marcus Hillerström he’s everywhere today lol

    • @burnzygg
      @burnzygg 4 роки тому +1

      Cold

    • @tobymcgroby8967
      @tobymcgroby8967 4 роки тому

      Hah, or how about when he interrupts people. You'll be in the hospital with alcohol poisoning before podcast ends

  • @RICHhomieFRY95
    @RICHhomieFRY95 4 роки тому +8

    Glad you guys are still posting cause I don’t have shit to do but watch your videos now so here I am

  • @watchesandcaps2566
    @watchesandcaps2566 4 роки тому +5

    Tom's Rocco Siffredi impression cracks me up everytime

  • @bekahviolet
    @bekahviolet 4 роки тому +6

    I just love nadavs laughter. Truly my favorite part,

  • @jennacryan
    @jennacryan 4 роки тому +14

    at least their new netflix specials are coming out just in time for quarantine

  • @chriswitry6976
    @chriswitry6976 4 роки тому +95

    At least we never have to worry about Bert catching Corona. He’s been training his whole life for immunity. Fine tuning your lungs at immeasurable laugh frequencies and using pool chlorine instead of shower soap is the only way

    • @RJ-ew7vj
      @RJ-ew7vj 4 роки тому

      Lol ;)

    • @andrewfisher7146
      @andrewfisher7146 4 роки тому +2

      Let’s not forget the Mickey Mantle gene. Caronavirus ain’t getting through that shit!

    • @shawnmcvey7789
      @shawnmcvey7789 4 роки тому +1

      Bert could have a 4 octave voice based off the dog whistle noises he makes while laughing.
      What a waste🤣

  • @iain4802
    @iain4802 4 роки тому +6

    Big fan of the seamless cut at around 49:00, when a bottle of Heineken just appears on the table! I would not have noticed it without it.

  • @hhharvey208
    @hhharvey208 4 роки тому +127

    Ted seems alright, but Brent needs to lose some weight, and stop with all the hate speech.

    • @monehget
      @monehget 4 роки тому +5

      I was surprised when Brad said that he STILL supports Japanese internment camps in the U.S.

    • @hhharvey208
      @hhharvey208 4 роки тому +1

      @Theo Salmon Is your friend Brent a fat racist as well?

    • @anthonymeccia4768
      @anthonymeccia4768 4 роки тому +1

      You’re completely right. I think I even caught Brent throwing up the white power sign under the table a couple times this episode.

  • @claydever7144
    @claydever7144 4 роки тому +2

    51:45 "almost called it Ernie". This line got me rolling.

  • @CurleyMR
    @CurleyMR 4 роки тому +16

    Bert, telling Flying Dildo's on Hot One's raises that episode to perhaps, my favorite of all time. I understand not being in control of your content can be scary and disappointing but to put in such a top notch performance on a platform that exposes you to folks outside your fan base is GOLD. That episode brought me to you. You just gotta papa seahorse it, birth your material, and hope it flourishes. If you have the bomb seed it will thrive, trust.

  • @Awizzo4shizzo
    @Awizzo4shizzo 4 роки тому +6

    Even my trained service dog freaks out when Bart laughs.

    • @ariehill5631
      @ariehill5631 2 роки тому

      The seagul laughing in a movie theater gag from family guy lol

  • @jonnyincomox
    @jonnyincomox 4 роки тому +30

    I feel like I've heard the stripper story on every pod Bert's been on recently.

  • @morqr8527
    @morqr8527 4 роки тому +1

    Their friendship is so pure. Very high, super tight.

  • @rylinmurphy2538
    @rylinmurphy2538 4 роки тому +7

    Every tour Bert does should be called "body shots world tour!"

  • @SussBus
    @SussBus 4 роки тому +2

    "And that's where I come in"
    Was just watching old episodes of 10 Minute Podcast, and that unintentional callback had me in fucking tears

  • @oldyoungone
    @oldyoungone 4 роки тому +35

    with everyone off work and binge watching netflix, Berts special is gonna kill when released, too bad Netflix dont give numbers to hear him bragging next JRE

    • @mrs.riche3939
      @mrs.riche3939 4 роки тому +1

      Thought the same thing brother!! Keep featherin!!!

    • @johnsondanny_
      @johnsondanny_ 4 роки тому +2

      They have it listed at #7 in America right now

  • @BenmacBlog
    @BenmacBlog 4 роки тому +2

    I honestly love that im seeing bert doing the runs on all his friends podcasts for promo of the special and i hope tom and chris do to for theirs. This is way better than watching some awkward encounter on a tonight show/ jimmy fallon or a morning show

  • @jmiscstuff8704
    @jmiscstuff8704 4 роки тому +9

    40:07 The Machine got some squeaky gears.

  • @mornelinell5955
    @mornelinell5955 4 роки тому

    I paused the podcast to watch the special...thank you Bert, it is the funniest thing I have seen in ages....brilliant...

  • @oscara9852
    @oscara9852 4 роки тому +64

    Hey man, Bert should be taking showers in hand sanitizer.

    • @frankbautista4475
      @frankbautista4475 4 роки тому +4

      He would probably drink to see how drunk he gets

    • @jesse7157
      @jesse7157 4 роки тому +1

      He should be taking showers in rubbing alcohol and boiling water

    • @jesperhjensen1978
      @jesperhjensen1978 4 роки тому +2

      Pool and lake counts as shower😂😂😂

    • @TyLockton
      @TyLockton 4 роки тому +1

      What are you all talking about? He sweats alcohol, you could squeegee shots off ranger Berts back.

    • @RubbelisPro
      @RubbelisPro 4 роки тому +1

      Bert is practically 70% alcohol at this point, he might be the only asymptomatic adult male to face the coronavirus

  • @crazybob94
    @crazybob94 4 роки тому +1

    Tom: hey I have a story.
    Bert: hey I'm happy for you and ima let you finish, but I have the greatest stories of all time 😂

  • @EsliMedrano
    @EsliMedrano 4 роки тому +6

    I love when Bret gets Tom in trouble for being on his phone like a jealous gf!

    • @VideoNozoki
      @VideoNozoki 4 роки тому +2

      I'm glad he calls him out on it. You're doing a 1 hour podcast, turn off your phone for 1 hour.
      I know Bert's boring, but you just have to push through it.

  • @danbrown9
    @danbrown9 4 роки тому +1

    I love how Bert’s brain works and he’s so open about it

  • @nicksurfs1
    @nicksurfs1 4 роки тому +6

    It’s fascinating that Bert has ever hired a publicist. Listening to him talk about marketing, he clearly knows more than them and hasn’t fallen into any of the traps that keep them lagging behind. If you’re a trailblazer in marketing, do your own marketing man.

  • @Southpaw_canvass
    @Southpaw_canvass 4 роки тому

    This podcast is the best one to watch every morning to put you in a good mood the rest of the day. Watching these two together and laughing just makes me so happy

  • @nighttime.canoe.installer
    @nighttime.canoe.installer 4 роки тому +6

    Bert's hat makes him look like the lead singer of a ska band.

  • @davidm998
    @davidm998 4 роки тому +1

    I love how every episode starts off with Tom trashing Bert 😂😂😂😂

  • @toewel
    @toewel 4 роки тому +34

    Following proto by clicking this in 2 strokes instead of 3.

  • @ElemenoP95
    @ElemenoP95 4 роки тому +1

    Hey, someone tell Bert I just got done watching "Hey Big Boy"
    I was laughing so hard it made me cough because I couldn't breathe and my sides are hurting and my fiance is hanging off the bed laughing.
    It was the funniest thing I've seen today

  • @RustyRamen
    @RustyRamen 4 роки тому +5

    "That's a whole white baby bruh"
    - The Legend

    • @lukecravey2038
      @lukecravey2038 4 роки тому +2

      Lmfao I’m from the town the whole white baby is from and I can assure you, he’s a local legend😂

  • @N-G89
    @N-G89 4 роки тому

    Who dislikes this honestly especially now what the hell is wrong with people? This is a distraction and entertainment that we all need. Keep em coming guys

  • @emergencyexit3967
    @emergencyexit3967 4 роки тому +11

    laughing this much IS GIVING ME CHEST PAINS!

    • @metalfuk1
      @metalfuk1 4 роки тому

      Emergency Exit calm down

  • @rochella_xo
    @rochella_xo 4 роки тому +1

    Def the best episode ! Love how bert has 6 beers in front of him toms just chillen

  • @anothermike4825
    @anothermike4825 4 роки тому +4

    Holy Balls, this is what I needed. Hope this is good.

  • @earthpigc
    @earthpigc 4 роки тому

    You know it is really nice being able to see Bert working on his reading skills. He almost can get through an ENTIRE PAGE by himself now!

  • @DaveStarr100.3
    @DaveStarr100.3 4 роки тому +21

    "the most fun I've ever had at a strip club, was in Fort Wayne, Indiana..."
    Don't ship the fun down to Muncie where it doesn't belong. Just meth down there.

    • @AnonymousFREEZEpOp1
      @AnonymousFREEZEpOp1 4 роки тому +4

      Absolutely 100%. I am from Fort Wayne and went to Ball State in Muncie, once you take a step off campus it's meth city USA.

    • @DaveStarr100.3
      @DaveStarr100.3 4 роки тому

      @@AnonymousFREEZEpOp1 lol indeed! I'm from Chicago but moves down to the Fort for the price, about six years ago lol ended up loving it. I've discovered the further away from I-69 you get, East or West, the skinnier your teeth start to feel lol

    • @codyburgess7034
      @codyburgess7034 4 роки тому +1

      Show Girls 3

    • @DaveStarr100.3
      @DaveStarr100.3 4 роки тому

      @@codyburgess7034 Bridget the Midget drops in a lot. 👍

    • @codyburgess7034
      @codyburgess7034 4 роки тому +1

      David Ploss never been but I do remember seeing a sign that said “ The Midget is Back!”

  • @ashez9686
    @ashez9686 4 роки тому

    33:19 -33:31 that laughing is absolutely fucking fantastic... could ride that chuckle to the clouds

  • @DisasterpiecesGB
    @DisasterpiecesGB 4 роки тому +78

    This is becoming like real housewives for men that like comedy.

    • @carlosmarte428
      @carlosmarte428 4 роки тому +20

      Owen Goetemann Joe Rogan is basically Oprah for men.

    • @spacemancam
      @spacemancam 4 роки тому +1

      Carlos Marte 😂😂😂

    • @Prometheushighaf
      @Prometheushighaf 4 роки тому +1

      @@carlosmarte428 I always thought Joe's inner spirit was fat old black women

    • @carlosmarte428
      @carlosmarte428 4 роки тому

      James Ireland Well idk about that lol. Political views aside, his show covers what men are “supposed to” be interested in pretty well.

    • @Prometheushighaf
      @Prometheushighaf 4 роки тому

      @@carlosmarte428 yeh, it's good thing

  • @xrmighty
    @xrmighty 4 роки тому +1

    Tom's sip and Bert's first sip
    Lol cute little sip vs entire beer

  • @emergencyexit3967
    @emergencyexit3967 4 роки тому +27

    the intros are always perfect,
    Tom: why you so racist bert?
    Bert: I really hope we're not rolling
    Nadav:* Laughs in jew in background*

    • @TyLockton
      @TyLockton 4 роки тому +3

      The guys in the booth killing themselves is the best part.

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 4 роки тому

      @@TyLockton The guys in the booth must now be constantly in the mode to "video bookmark" everything Bert goes to say, because 95% of the time it's a lie, some bullshit that makes no sense, or, something that is eminently clippable for a video meme re: racism. Ha ha. Bert's like a human video clip machine for lies, stupidity, and self-incrimination.

  • @edhernandez8523
    @edhernandez8523 4 роки тому +1

    “If Leeann can do it, You can do it” fuck man that man me crying

  • @littlefrog9553
    @littlefrog9553 4 роки тому +4

    I feel like if anyone is at risk of getting corona in that circle, it's Bert.

    • @Noone-jn3jp
      @Noone-jn3jp 4 роки тому +1

      Holy shit. In all seriousness I cannot believe his family is healthy. I refer you to Bert Cast with Nick Thune. Look at the rats and they (berts family) track chicken shit in the house. That’s is berts words said with seriousness more than once. Then using the pool to shower. Fuck man, I’m surprised the virus DIDNT come from him.

    • @ethanking4954
      @ethanking4954 4 роки тому +1

      Joey Diaz

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 4 роки тому +1

      IF Bert has to stay home and self-quarantine, he's gonna go nuts. And/or his wife AND children will kill him. Imagine him on lockdown in their house 24/7? He'd lose his shit. He'd NEVER shut up. He'd come up with totally insane ideas to film, and force them to participate. He'd be online constantly shopping for crazy shit, burning through the money he's NOT making at the moment.
      That WOULD make for a hilarious documentary, but, it'd be Bert's last one, as Leeann and the kids would ultimately shiv him full of kitchen knives just to shut him the fuck up.

  • @Thisismydesign92
    @Thisismydesign92 4 роки тому

    My 2 year old playing with playsand in front of TV she spotted the bears and can't stop laughing 😂🐻😂😂

  • @Justin-lg1qb
    @Justin-lg1qb 4 роки тому +108

    I’ll buy for hims when all the balding people start getting hair again.

    • @nashvilleantiques8691
      @nashvilleantiques8691 4 роки тому

      Hahaha good luck

    • @kdog5471
      @kdog5471 4 роки тому +2

      I think Hims isn’t supposed to regrow hair, but stop the process of further balding

    • @MNewsTime
      @MNewsTime 3 роки тому

      Hims is suppose to be used early not late
      From what I’ve understood

  • @davidoconnor2133
    @davidoconnor2133 4 роки тому

    Burnt Chrysler - Let me just throw in a little ad lib so Tommybuns doesn't get mad at my ad reading skills. "Michelin 5 Star Chef.." Nailed it.

  • @GrandPoggers
    @GrandPoggers 4 роки тому +4

    I was sipping water when Thom said "she called hers the n word" and that didn't end very, dry for everything on my table

    • @VideoNozoki
      @VideoNozoki 4 роки тому

      "...and we both agreed, that's the only time it's acceptable to say it."

  • @michaelbland2924
    @michaelbland2924 4 роки тому +1

    I'm a huge fan of schulz I'm glad you guys fuck with him

  • @JohnBelley86
    @JohnBelley86 4 роки тому +5

    Every time Tom gets interrupted he should cough.

  • @badboy4412
    @badboy4412 4 роки тому

    The guy laughing in the background makes it that much better lmfao

  • @AnonymousFREEZEpOp1
    @AnonymousFREEZEpOp1 4 роки тому +40

    I love this podcast but when Bert constantly wants to talk shop about being a comedian and the "process" it gets exhausting. Like we've heard this same conversation a million times on Rogan, Bertcast, and YMH. Bert asks every comedian these same questions.

    • @Quickstrikeable
      @Quickstrikeable 4 роки тому +3

      His special is releasing. Just let him talk about what he wants.

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 4 роки тому +2

      Tom starts off several ideas by saying someone they know is amazing, and Bert cuts him off every time by shouting "HE'S AMAZING! NO, NO, he's AWESOME!"

    • @kjcorder
      @kjcorder 4 роки тому

      secret time???..this is real inside baseball...
      you know what.. nevermind..

    • @mackcsound
      @mackcsound 4 роки тому +3

      God thank you.... I can’t stand the constant social media marketing talk. If they knew what was best for their career Schulz and Bert should try to be funny not lecture people on the process of comedy

  • @Itsreallymarcus
    @Itsreallymarcus 3 роки тому

    1:25 when Burt says and I regret one day I’ll have to shoot both of them in the back had me literally dying of laughter😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @Beunibster
    @Beunibster 4 роки тому +24

    Bert is worries his special got spoiled by trailers, talk shows and memes. I haven't seen ANY of EITHER.

    • @edgar6368
      @edgar6368 4 роки тому +1

      Seriously 🤣 he thinks he’s the greatest comic alive. His special is the only one I skipped.

    • @onkesotywambe6503
      @onkesotywambe6503 4 роки тому

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @Popothechinchilla
      @Popothechinchilla 4 роки тому +2

      I got through the big boy special. Half cringe half decent. But I could never imagine Tom going "you know it's a good joke if it got memed". Tom is chillin and one of the greats of our time. While Bert constantly seeks validation. He even has a bit in the special about proving he's funny to a black dude... Rough.

  • @jayjason2517
    @jayjason2517 4 роки тому +1

    "This cooter's getting hot and sticky." LOL.

  • @B-Free619
    @B-Free619 4 роки тому +3

    Aye Desus and Mero shout out, the Brand is strong

    • @VideoNozoki
      @VideoNozoki 4 роки тому

      The Brand is infectious (with laughter)

  • @FluffyMatzahBalls
    @FluffyMatzahBalls 4 роки тому

    Bad Friends AND Two Bears One Cave on the same day? I'm loving Monday mornings these days

  • @danielpenrodii2389
    @danielpenrodii2389 4 роки тому +21

    I still can’t believe Bert tried to act like he didn’t know the KKK was still around.

  • @alexrush4140
    @alexrush4140 4 роки тому +1

    Lol I love how Bert keeps it so real. It's like podcasts are his therapy

  • @NerdGeof
    @NerdGeof 4 роки тому +9

    I wonder when this was filmed, they are behind a little, any counts on how often Tom will go to his phone?

    • @TheBlackMambaa248
      @TheBlackMambaa248 4 роки тому +3

      I also was confused as to when this was filmed. They clearly knew it was coming out today because Bert said “tomorrow” when referencing when his special was coming out. But there’s no way bert is performing at the comedy store tomorrow. That shit is closed. Probably filmed last week.

    • @Prometheushighaf
      @Prometheushighaf 4 роки тому +3

      @@TheBlackMambaa248 yeh I noticed following the groups of comedians some podcasts can be weeks behind and when I realise this I just loose half the interest most times

    • @TheBlackMambaa248
      @TheBlackMambaa248 4 роки тому +1

      @James Ireland Usually I don’t care but considering the times we’re currently living in, it became more relevant to me lol

    • @Prometheushighaf
      @Prometheushighaf 4 роки тому +2

      @@TheBlackMambaa248 all the podcasters occasionally over lap so watching outdated stuff has lower novelty for me

  • @darcys9597
    @darcys9597 4 роки тому

    With that hat and just a collar and tie Bert is Yogi Bear! If your picnic has any alcohol, he's stealing that basket.

  • @Ihavethebeard
    @Ihavethebeard 4 роки тому +4

    Bert could give Pat McAfee a run for his money in chugging.

  • @antgreen1000
    @antgreen1000 4 роки тому +1

    Bert drank that beer like a true savage

  • @royeaston6067
    @royeaston6067 4 роки тому +17

    If you'd of told me when I was kid I'd spend hours even days listening to millionaires talk this wouldn't be the sort ofvconversations I'd imagine that's for sure.

  • @Justin-lg1qb
    @Justin-lg1qb 4 роки тому

    That blind guy story is GOLD

  • @casecase6
    @casecase6 4 роки тому +17

    Bert: She's sooo hot in that movie, she has an accent
    Tom: Sure She's talented, she's a good actor

    • @IloveGorgeousGeorge
      @IloveGorgeousGeorge 4 роки тому

      Lol I can't believe Leann is still fucking married to him, between that and all the shit he talks about her on podcasts.

  • @eli1214
    @eli1214 3 роки тому

    You guys had me at Rocco Sifreddi. 😍

  • @kbizzle8223
    @kbizzle8223 4 роки тому +14

    I just want this to get to Bert.
    If you were a bad dad, your daughter wouldn't make you an awesome breakfast sandwich 👍

  • @ThePooler43
    @ThePooler43 4 роки тому

    I was so drunk sweating watching comfortably dumb enjoying the ocean of perspiration on that shirt😂😂😂

  • @XenoTravis
    @XenoTravis 4 роки тому +5

    Steve hofstetter definitely did the viral UA-cam thing way before Andrew did. Even Joe gave him credit when Steve was on jre.

    • @caseyyordy6188
      @caseyyordy6188 4 роки тому

      Travis Hunt UA-cam PhD except Steve isn’t funny

    • @paulcarmi8130
      @paulcarmi8130 4 роки тому +1

      Steve is.... Hard to watch. Way too social justice for me. Remember kids, if you have to add a modifier to justice, it's never going to be true justice. Real justice needs no modifiers.

  • @GDPplease
    @GDPplease 4 роки тому

    you know it really was a great episode when bert says "this has been a really great episode" and you realize you've been watching for an hour without noticing

  • @damienmorrow912
    @damienmorrow912 4 роки тому +5

    This show is like my dad didn't leave, and he and my uncle that doesn't exist drink beers and talk about porn while I just sit and listen

    • @laurav19
      @laurav19 4 роки тому

      Ooh maybe I should play these for my young kids

  • @jm7533
    @jm7533 4 роки тому

    Not even 5mins in and Tom is deeply inhaling Bert’s burp. True love.