Elephants and Hens | Black Books | Season 3 Episode 2 | Absolute Jokes
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- Опубліковано 18 вер 2024
- It's International Children's Book Week. Bernard and Manny reckon they can do better than the trash children are offered these days, so they decide to write a kids' classic and retire, Rowling-rich.
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I actually really want to read Bernard's russian novel.
everbody does man... everybody does 😔
I hope someone will write this eventually
There's a DVD extra where Bernard reads a rejection letter from a literary agent and writes a very Bernard response. I can't remember if it was stated what novel he'd sent in, but it's a fun bit nonetheless
In my mind it was actually a masterpiece and the world lost it because Bernard and Manny are idiots.
Hahaha same!
While you're waiting, you might enjoy some short stories by Tolstoy.
Really, they're quite entertaining and informative.
Not kidding, he really could pound out an engaging yarn.
Dammit, I'm *not* being sarcastic, Tolstoy is worth a read!
I agree with Bernard: a panda is an awful choice for the mouse's best friend.
Yeah but it could have helped him play his trombone
An elephant would have been better
"But I'm not doing anything, I'm just strolling up the beach with my discreetly pregnant Brazilian girlfriend"
"She's just an ordinary lingerie model"
Bernard's Russian novel actual sounds interesting. And so does his children's book.
Well, that is the joke
If I had kids, I’d read them the hell out of those two books.
Hope they didn't burn it.
It was Mannny's children's book.
Bernard's children's book was to amazing for this world. His novel makes Dostoievsky seem like Nicholas Sparks
"You've gonna have to get a job" made me laugh HARD!!!!
Binge watching Black Books these days. "A lens grinder in Omsk" bribed me into liking it even more, as I originally come from Omsk : D That was a fun and unexpected reference!
Its almost pretty this show. Weird and pretty- I like its unknown.
Bernard's Russian novel: how my story ideas seem in my head
The Elephant and the Balloon: how my stories turn out to be when I write them
when they start talking about the pressures of fame is the best part..lol where have I left my designer trousers? oh no, there in my kong hung house"
Hahaha😂😂😂 I know right? SUCH a great rant on why they shouldn’t be famous, the slurs & mistakes like you mentioned just kill me everytime😅
Designer underpants
black books - spaced- peep show- the office (uk) - it crowd: masterpieces
Forgot The Mighty Boosh and That Mitchell and Webb look.
Give me more shows
Limmy’s show
and garth marengi's Dark Place
Father Ted
The Funny fact that unlike other shows were the characters Accidentally burn or destroy something
Bernard and Manny HAD to burn the Book cause it's too good and it needed to be destroyed 😂😅😃
It's Just Comedic Genius 😂😂😂😂😂😂
This episode is comedic genius. I discovered the show years ago (I was a teenager fascinated with all things english) and it introduced me to many other british comedy series which I wouldn't have known otherwise. This episode is legendary and brings me back to so many fun memories. Thanks Black Books.
What all British you liked ?
Have you watched Green Wing? If not, do!
I've seen this a few times over and first time I've noticed the smoke from the typewriters at 12:05 as Bernard is typing. CLassic.
This preformance got Olivia Colman her Oscar
She got Oscar in 2018, what are you smoking? Anyway, her best role by far was in Peep Show. She played annoying bitch so good I wanted to choke her character Sophie.
Who the hell is that
@@Quicksilver_Cookie I smoked from the same juices: Skillful says _preformance_ aka performance before the performance. Without this performance, no hilarious Oscar speech and no queen and not necessarily in that order I might be a bit late and a bit up and a bit smoked and salmon and not necessarily in that order. Anyway, I think you sound nice and I harm no mean nor any nice :)
@@rasmusn.e.m1064 wut
@@veggiemetal7812 I honestly have no idea. This was two years ago and the comment I replied to is gone xD I think I referenced Olivia Colman's acceptance speech at the Oscars in 2019 and the OC "skillful" wrote "preformance" instead of "performance", which made sense to me since the claim was that it was this performance that Olivia Colman the Oscar, which is obviously untrue. But I thought the argument made more sense if "preformance" was a deliberate spelling to indicate that this performance lead up to the one that would eventually get Oliva Colman an Oscar.
I hope this makes sense.
God this episode is comedy gold.
PERFECTION 🤣
I agree, God.
3:53 In a couple of months that woman will be up for an Oscar.
And she got it :D :D :D
“You haven’t 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥, Worm! What happened to the rabbit?”
“He-starved to death. The End.”
Defend Auntie Millicent and her two freaks in the book shop. To the end.
Poor Manny can play piano and draw pictures but still lives in squalid conditions with Bernard..
And Bernard who can write great Russian novels in one night
He's a masochist
Manny falling over in the worm costume is still one of the funniest sight gags I have ever seen / will ever see.
Best episode of Black Books (in my opinion). 👏🏻
Quite a few are joined in 2nd place (like when Manny and Bernard create their own wine, or the one where they open up their own restaurant or where Manny plays the piano or... damn, I could keep going haha)
^_^
I completely agree
those r now my favourite too!!
Such a great show. One of the few that I love to re-watch. 😊
Yes! Yes! Yes!
I thought for a minute that Bernard would give the kid 50 pounds and he'd run of with it but they had a better punchline
It's Seinfeld writing. No hugs, no lessons. Hilarious
I wasn't fooled. Bernard would NEVER do anything remotely altruistic or compassionate. Haha
Whew....The last bit with the kid was a cliffhanger. Almost lost the Bernard we love there......😂
This is one of the best episodes in this series 😁, so funny
It’s weird how many of these people ended up in Shaun of the dead
Pretty much all of the English actors in Black Books were in a Cornetto trilogy movie lmao
@@maximillianford9301 isn’t Dylan Moran Irish?
@@theinsufferablebutthole8923 yea he is. Obviously he was in the trilogy too, I was just categorising all the English actors who appeared in black books and the trilogy cos there are so fucking many of them
Like Simon Pegg 😊
"It’s brilliant. I just have 2 teeny weeny suggestions for changes. Instead of the academic & the journalist & daughter, perhaps it could be about…an…elephant. And instead of the Stalin's purges and all that...it could be about...well...losing a balloon."
Here in Australia you couldn't play with an old breeze block because there was already a nasty spider living in it.
8:26 Bamanarahmra! Oscar-winning drunk acting.
Games! Cake! BOOZE! *TRUTH!*
I'm going to confess that my Games folder on my phone is called Games! Cake! Booze! :)
Dylan Moran needs to write that novel about the lens grinder in Omsk and publish it under the name Bernard Black.
I'm 23, I started watching this show when I was like 11 I still binge the whole series every few days with a nice glass of wine...... There's more here somewhere
This isn't the AA, bud.
BACK IN THE WORM
Strange how the ladies believe Fran is destined to be a spinster, while she is easily the most attractive and interesting out of these 4 characters.
As all good spinsters ought to be
Nah Lucy Davis is way more attractive. Fran does have more personality tho
Fran can fucken get it tho
She is NOT the most attractive lmao.
I think the dark-haired skinny one is pretty hot. Fran does have the personality though.
i want a copy of manny and bernards book
You can find it on internet
"I very much doubt that since your night begins with the word 'hen', the prefix of doom."
Or this; weirdrussia.com/2015/08/20/dont-try-to-leave-the-city-of-omsk/
Ron Pogue I swear it doesn’t make sense. I thought that years ago and still today I can’t make sense of it. Hen being a prefix would only mean it’s the beginning title of the word ‘doom’. Hen Doom.
@@123raggett1 I think what Bernard means here is that 'hen' denotes 'doom' when used as a prefix, as opposed to literally being its prefix. Ergo Fran's night is doomed due to her using 'hen' to describe it. In the end that in fact is the case as she and her friends all leave alone.
this episode is gold
Love Lucy Davis in this. She was brilliant in The Office too.
i still want to read the novel.
British comedy is the best
They all drink lemonadeeee
I always forget Olivia Colman is in this one
"I've never said this to anyone before....you're going to have to get a job."
Excellent episode. BTW, this is the 2nd time on this tv show that a woman ate a chocolate cake from the side...picking up a chunk of the cake. Is this a woman's thing or a British woman's thing? I have 4 sisters and several female cousins, I have never seen ANYONE eat cake this way.
It's because chocolate cake is typically seen as forbidden fruit for a lot of British women, who feel they should be 'watching their figure' or whatever. Thus, the biting into it with wild abandon.
Lens grinder in Omsk
It's hot in the worm.
Is that Olivia Colman??
You'll notice that the lollipop stand behind Bernard's desk disappears between the scene ending at 7:35 and the scene beginning at 8:41.
That's because there was a deleted scene in which a demonic schoolgirl steals it!
She is such a witch. Lol. Priceless.
Auntie Millicent…….😆
Who cares what our disgusting public think.
*B A L A N A R A M A L A*
Back in the worm!
one of my favorite episodes. the other one being mu-ma and mu-pa
It sounds like Jimmy Carr laughing in the background at 17:55
Thank you Anja for telling me that this exists- its the only thing that lets me forget the Corona insanity at the moment.
Olivia Colman: 'Banamamarnamra'... Best line of the episode
NO GIGGLIN
G
17:41 this part always has me in stitches 😂
i have just realized that i am Bernard Black... LOL
Hello Bernard Black 😊
i just want to live in my normal mansion, with my normal helicopter, and my normal yacht
I had chatGPT generate a children based on their prompts. here's the mouse:
Once upon a time, in a small town not far away, there lived a mouse named Milo. Milo was not like any other mouse in his town. He lived in a bottle bank, and he loved to play the trombone.
Milo was very passionate about his music, and he would practice all day long. Sometimes the sound was so loud that the bottles in the bank would shake and rattle. But Milo didn't mind, he was in his own world, playing his trombone.
Milo was also very picky about his food. He only ate one thing - licorice. His friends would offer him cheese, bread, and other treats, but he would always turn them down. "No thanks," he would say, "I only eat licorice."
One day, Milo's town was having a big parade. All the kids were going to be in it, and they wanted Milo to play his trombone. Milo was nervous, but he knew he couldn't say no. He practiced and practiced, making sure he would be ready.
The day of the parade came, and Milo was ready. He stood on the back of a small truck and started playing his trombone. The sound was beautiful, and everyone in the town stopped to listen.
As Milo played, he saw his friends in the crowd. They were holding signs that said "Go Milo!" and "You're the best, Milo!" Milo felt proud, and he knew he was doing something he loved.
After the parade, Milo's friends came to see him. "Wow, Milo, you were amazing!" they said. "We didn't know you were such a great musician."
Milo smiled and thanked his friends. "I love playing my trombone," he said. "And I'm glad I could share it with all of you today."
And from that day on, Milo continued to play his trombone and eat his licorice, knowing that he was doing what he loved, and that his friends would always support him.
05:21 looks like my students when I give them a writing prompt.
This is the greatest episode of any tv show anywhere in the universe
"I'm so happy and any more would be bad!"
Why do the ladies look like they're camping out for a week😂 I mean all those suitcases they'd taken .
If Bernard was German he could have called his shop: Bernd Black Books.
Couldn't he call it that anyway?
Bernhards schwarze Bücher
Or Bernds' Black Burnt Books
Who else came here while procrastinating on a book writing 🙋🏻♀️
Evan really foretold Manny being the worm that he is
As a girl, girl nights suck cause you end up hating each other lol
Omg how many todays big stars were in this show.
Becky is Aunt Hilda on the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.
first thing, m happy Fran had other plans n friends then Manny n Bernard,
અને બાળસાહિત્ય રચવું ગાઠીયા ખાવાના ખેલ નથી, એ ખૂબ સરસ રીતે ચિત્રણ કર્યું,
અને ફ્રેન ની પાર્ટી ના હાલ એકદમ વાસ્તવિક હતા,
i loved the final drafting of elephant's story.
Bernard was real him at the end.
Bernand and manny wrote the elephant man
Games, cake, booze, TRUTH!
Timeless comedy.
Get a job kid, get a job. 😂😂😂
8:27 Bloody hell! I just realized that it's Olivia Colman! Before she became Queen, that is. 😁😄
Great funny show!
bingo. the best thing that you kept was self respect. the abusive dynamic works at undermining that. you had a lucky escape girl. 👍👍👍
It's amazing that there is a future Oscar winner in this episode. Olivia Colman has had quite the career, always present in British television and films, tons of stuff! I liked it every time she popped up in something.
HE DOESNT HAVE IT!
Bernard is the best villain in the History of TV.
Oh, go on!
And another character from Shaun of the Dead!
Bernard & Manny are my writing my thesis
best episode.
"...makes me cringe"
Ahead of its time.
4:45
The elephant story is actually better:
Once upon a time, in a big, green forest, there was a happy elephant named Ellie. Ellie loved playing with his balloon. He would bounce it up and down, and sometimes he would toss it into the air and catch it with his trunk. It was his favorite toy.
One day, Ellie was playing with his balloon, when he accidentally let go of it. The balloon flew up into the sky, and Ellie watched it disappear into the clouds. He felt sad and lost without his balloon, and he didn't know what to do.
Ellie searched the entire forest for his balloon, but he couldn't find it. He asked his friends, the monkeys, the birds, and even the ants, but no one had seen it. Ellie felt like he would never find his balloon again.
But then, Ellie remembered something his mom had told him. "If you lose something, you should never give up on finding it," she had said. Ellie knew he had to keep searching.
Days turned into weeks, and Ellie searched high and low for his balloon. He was tired and his feet were sore, but he refused to give up. He even asked the other animals in the forest to help him search.
One day, Ellie was walking along a narrow path when he heard a strange noise. He followed the sound, and to his surprise, he saw his balloon tangled up in a tree. The wind had blown it there.
Ellie was overjoyed! He reached up with his trunk and gently pulled the balloon down. He hugged it tightly, and he felt like he had found his best friend again. He couldn't wait to show his friends that he had found his beloved balloon.
I thought the first series was the best and the second series the second best
Great !
Olivia Coleman and that woman from The Office! Forgot.
This is where I 1st saw & fell in L❤VE with Olivia Coleman 😍🥰😘
This is why I don’t do reunions. Actually, I find them pointless.
"This" what?
Love Olivia Colman
The set-up.
If they ever get around to doing the film of God Emperor of Dune I want Bill in that suit as Leto II
So sadly that season 3 was the last one
Kids go for any old rubbish.
Good night for now guys... 😃
(2:45) "you and me" the English disjunctive pronoun.
"paparizzi"
The Bet