Ive only ever got my hair dyed once after years of asking and it was blond highlights that were hardly noticable. I wanted to go full blonde but the people at super cuts said they couldnt do it since my hair is brown
sometimes for a month or two at a time i’ll only be attracted to one gender and be like “oh i guess i’m a lesbian? internalised homophobia?” but then the next week i’m like BOYS
Yeah, I've been constantly romantically attracted to men for the past few months, but I think that's probably because most of the new people I've been meeting are men. Sometimes it feels like female friends are hard to find.
I didn't know I was Bi until one day I realized I was in love with a colleague of mine. Imagine my surprise when my brain started saying: HOLD HER HAND HOLD HER HAND HOLD HER HAND. I just went: hehe sounds gay ... wAit a MInuTe
I convinced myself that when I was checking out girls in my highschool I was just "admiring" how nice they look and now 3 years later I'm having a bisexual epiphany. So that's fun.
As a raging bisexual who has been dating her first ever boyfriend for four years, I know I could very happily date someone who isn’t a man. I just haven’t. This video is so so so amazing and interesting. Thank you so much :)
I feel so validated with the point you said about having different kinds of attraction with different genders. I felt like I needed to be completely equally romantically and sexually attracted to all genders for my bi/pan sexuality to be valid. My attraction to different genders always feels different because I'm more drawn to the person and not just their gender. Great video! I still need to work on some internalized homophobia but thank you for making people feel less alone :-)
i do think the "i'm bi which means i'm attracted to every woman on the planet and three male celebrities" makes it kinda hard for people to work out of they're bi or gay because im a lesbian but there are some male celebs/characters who i love and am kinda attracted to?? idk but i recognise that its cause theyre unrealistic crushes and therefore i don't feel the sense of dread that i have every time a man enters my personal space like its fine to think harry styles is a top tier human aesthetically and personality wise without wanting to be with him
that is so true !!! some babes are like "the only men i'm attracted to are fictional/celebrities and i couldn't picture myself dating a real-life one, haha bisexual stereotype" NO 😭 i don't blame them ofc but we need to stop
i totally agree it muddies the waters!! in my personal experience as someone who had/has a preference for men it made me feel like i was not bi, like i was supposed to have a preference for women or i wouldn‘t be bi otherwise.
This made me remember that one time I came out to a friend, and she asked me if I was joking about being bisexual at least five times...and then I had to explain I didn't feel attracted to her...or sexualize her in any way (truly, not my type.)...and how it works for me... Good times. I hate that I felt predatory just by coming out back then. And later on when I got a crush on another friend but genuinely didn't want to have her as anything but a friend, but felt like I was being pushy by just being honest. So, tiny PSA for the kids ;) - Internalized homophobia is a pain - Coming out before being ready because thinking if you don't you're being homophobic (I don't get it either.) is not something I recommend - And you might need to explain how being Bi works for you, sometimes, although you don't owe anyone your preference to anyone. - And hey! Tell your crush (if you think it's safe to do so) that you like them. If it doesn't land, you might get an awesome friend.
Your second point hit me, hard. I watch bi Tiktoks too and when I see how, ultimately, in those clips, bi women seem to always prefer women to men, my internalised homophobia gives me so much anxiety. My first (and only, thank god) panic attack happened because I thought I would eventually leave my boyfriend for a girl, that I was faking loving him since women were "better" to date, cuter, whilst men are trash and blablabla... I get regular anxiety crying sessions because I'm afraid of realising this fake attraction to my boyfriend - which, of course, is a very real attraction and very loving relationship. Lol, I'm afraid to befriend girls because I think I'll fall in love with them eventually - that's how deep it goes. Anyway, awesome video Gemma!
This has made me feel so so so much better about questioning right now. I have identified as bisexual since I was 12 or 13 and I started to question that during quarantine because I have such a preference for women and I exhibited a good few of the symptoms of comphet described in the “Am I a Lesbian?” masterdoc. It’s all just been so so confusing and stressful and I was scared of lying (which is stupid but ya know). And yeah, TikTok putting way more emphasis on gay attraction, my lesbian friends hating on men all the time (which is fair but still), and acting like being attracted to men is something to be pitied, has all made me question my sexuality. But this made me feel so so so much better. I think I am bisexual, and it’s okay to fall into stereotypes. It’s okay to like women more. It’s okay to like men. There are good ones out there and it’s actually okay to like them. So yeah. Thank you so much. This seriously made me feel so much better about everything. And yeah!! It’s all TikTok’s fault!!!
honestly I get where your friends are coming from, but I feel like we really need to move past the whole hating on men thing.. it does so much damage, especially to transmasc people and bi people who have to deal with so much external and internalised shit anyway.. I used to say that I've always felt ashamed of liking women and thanks to the whole twitter/tumblr/tiktok crowd I now feel ashamed for liking men as well and honestly doesn't that just fucking suck? I'm so over it tbh. men can be amazing and beautiful and lovely and no one should feel ashamed of being attracted to them (or being one). saying that doesn't mean we can't still recognise patriarchy and mysoginy and privilege
The whole percentage argument is why I usually define sexuality in general as "potential" attraction rather than some absolute thing. Even "monosexual" people are not attracted to EVERY person of the gender they are attracted to. As a pan/bi-sexual, I have the POTENTIAL to be attracted to multiple/all genders. There are women I am not attracted to and there are men I am not attracted to, but I still have the potential to be attracted to both.
I had internalized biphobia for so long. I called myself a lesbian and refused to be attracted to men. Literally any time I saw a cute guy I stopped myself and was like, "yeah he's cute but puppies are also cute so no". I guess that I was just afraid that one day I would find a man instead of a woman and that that would somehow erase my sexuality or something. And then...the moment that I decided that I was 100% done and fed up with my biphobic self arrived. There I was re watching my favorite TV show, "Lucifer", when Lucifer and another character (no spoilers) walk into a bar. They approach a woman sitting at a table and attempt to get something from her when she calls her bodyguard over to remove Lucifer and the woman. Lucifer, of course, is not at all phased when he sees that the bodyguard is about to remove him and his female friend forcefully. And then it happens. Lucifer calmly approaches the guard and as he does his eyes blaze red and his metaphorical hackles rise. The guard's face quickly changes from confident to fearful as he put his hands up and backs away. Not only does HE back away from Lucifer, but so does every other man in the area. I see this scene and immediately begin to feel the drool welling up in my mouth when I suddenly feel good old miss. biphobia give me a slap. I decided that I had had enough. So I squashed the bitch down, stared at the television screen as Lucifer began beating the absolute heck out of anyone who dared attack him, and let the drool pool. The other character that Lucifer had entered that bar with also watches Lucifer fight and as she does she begins to bite her lip in obvious arousal to which I proudly proclaimed, "SAME!". I now proudly call myself bisexual and no longer punish myself for my attraction to men (even tho a lot of them are stupid). Sorry for the dramatics btw. I am simply a very dramatic bitch and I cannot help it lol.
I really hate when people want you to put your sexuality on a scale or in percentages. Like do I have to remember every crush I've ever had and calculate how many of them were this and that so I can get an estimate? or do I have to convince people that I've felt very strongly about all of the people I've fallen in love with? if yes to the second alternative that would mean that I'm in the middle of the two standard sexuality alternatives people want all of us to choose between :) It really should not matter if you're more attracted to men or women, you can't even measure sexuality in that way it'll just get too complicated.
......I really needed this. I am still discovering my self as a 17 year old, from butterflies in my stomach when a guy is a little too nice towards me to just checking out women as I walk down anywhere. I felt that me being attracted to men sexually and women romantically meant that I was supposedly faking my attraction to either gender. I live in a society where LGBT+ community is being ashamed and looked down upon as a disgrace to one's family. That being part of it means that you are just acting out and rebelling out your teens years. Not to mention the causal homophobia of making LGBT+ characters in Bollywood as a running joke. I have encountered numerous times where my peers would openly discuss that being bisexual meaning you are confused or an excuse for being unfaithful to your partner. Or that you are just catering to the male gaze. When you talked about these issues, it honestly felt the fog of doubt in my mind just got more clearer. That it is okay to be confused. I never got that advice from someone as I had no one to look up to. Glad to know now I do. :)
so sad you had to go through all that shit.I hope that it gets better. ua-cam.com/video/r6r8UYU7Zcs/v-deo.html 2.Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga(2019) trailer-> ua-cam.com/video/pKcamCgBvMo/v-deo.html&vl=en They both are really wholesome films and i suggest that you check them out if you havent already.The 1st one is about a gay couple , it has great acting ,nice story, i love its sondtrack and it's easily my favourite rom-com of all time. The second one is about a lesbian girl and her journey towards acceptance. It was a really sweet movie and i really related to the protagonist. Also both films have happy endings so you dont have to worry about characters getting killed of or anything like that(as it is often the case with many hollywood lgbtq+ films)
@@thesorcererwiththepointyhat ........thank you, thank you so much. I needed this so badly. I am literally crying tears of happiness when I saw these trailers, and not to mention, these films have actors who so easily well known and recognizable and so well done that I just can't. I going to watch them tonight. I have had years of seeing actors and actresses who play LGBT+ characters shamed, humiliated, treated as a joke or plain killed off from the narrative. (A good example of these is the film "Student Of the Year", I felt so angry when I saw it in theatre, that everyone was laughing at the character who clearly fallen in love with another character but it was unrequited, they mocked him and played a joke out of him. The worst part of the film was the scene were they openly mocked him in front of everyone and told him that he would die alone. It made me so angry that I was crying so hard and had a panic attack right then and there. I was around around 9 back then. But it really impacted on how I thought I will be treated when I will come out.) This is really really important for me. I can't just express it in words how much it makes a difference to me. I feel seen. Thank you.
I'm so sorry for being late to this thread (moving house is a bitch) but I'm so glad the two of you found each other and you could get some good film recs that could help!! honestly this is the most wholesome best thing. I'm so happy.
I'm so sorry for being late to this thread (moving house is a bitch) but I'm so glad the two of you found each other and you could get some good film recs that could help!! honestly this is the most wholesome best thing. I'm so happy.
I’m just over here simping over one guy after the next (and this one particular one for a year now) and basically building my identity around being attracted to other men. And I enjoy those moments so much when I can confuse people by telling them I like women, cause they’ve never heard of bisexual men. Yes I’m hella gay, but I mean.. WOMEN
I seriously appreciate this video so much. I'm bi so I'm just going to share some other things I've struggled with in relation to my identity because why not? I have never been in a relationship. People have just never really shown interest in me. In fact only one person ever asked me on a date and she was a good friend of mine who I didn't feel attracted towards whatsoever so I politely turned her down in order to not ruin our friendship. On top of this my father has ignored my coming out and my mother took it as me saying that I'm confused about my sexuality because she doesn't think bisexuality is a thing. When I affirmed my attraction to women she agreed so she basically thinks I'm a lesbian now. This has basically put me in some type of limbo where if I eventually take a man home my mum is going to be disappointed in me and if I take a woman home my father is going to be quite confused. Just bisexual things. On top of that, I'm more attracted to women I feel like but it's kind of confusing to me. Because I never really questioned my attraction to men until I realised I felt attracted to women at which point the age old question of "is this compulsory heterosexuality or just bisexuality" started plaguing me. I just tend to go back and forth, feeling more attracted to women on the regular and then questioning if I'm actually a lesbian only to then have my attraction to men confirmed in some way to then go omg am I actually just straight. Like, no, honey, you're bisexual, you like both and more and that's fine. I'm just waiting for my lizard brain to actually grasp that though. There's also this fun thing where even though I feel more attracted to women I'm also kind of scared to get into a relationship with a woman because of the biphobia in sapphic communities. But then at the same time I'm also really scared to end up with a guy because then people will take away my voice as a queer woman because I don't fit into their box of "queer enough" when I'm in a straight-passing relationship.
Love the video! My bi awakening was more of a random 3am thought. It started when I was questioning my gender (what if i was a boy? would I still like boys??) And then i started to question my sexuality (would I like girls??) And a few months later I was trying to sleep when my brain just went "oh my goodness we're bi" (I expected more homophobia but I have been lucky enough to be accepted)
Thank you so much for making this video! I hope every bisexual person who needs to hear this is able to find your video. For me personally, I have a lot of insecurities and guilt about being bisexual in that I present as very straight-passing, I've never been bullied or harmed because of my sexuality, I'm only out to a few people, and (at least at the moment) I'm more attracted to men than other genders. Rationally, I know that none of these things make me less bisexual but I still constantly question myself and my sexuality lol
Yeah, I’ve noticed that whole trend with bi women but I almost assumed it had something to do with resentment of hetero-patriarchy. As a bisexual man, I sometimes wonder if me specifically wanting a boyfriend is me not wanting to deal with cultural differences between the sexes/genders, but I don’t think that’s just it. You mentioned the differences in attractions, and I really think that as much as I enjoy talking with women, and as sexy as all genders are, I just get that pull to run my fingers through a man’s hair and cuddle in bed with him more. And for bi guys that feel more pulled toward women and/or enbies, or equally attracted across the board, that’s just as valid and the fact you can “pass” would only mean you have to hide an inherent part of yourself from others, which isn’t right. Thank you so much for talking about these subjects, and sorry for posting the 70th comment, thereby destroying the perfect number of comments 💖💜💙💖💜💙💖💜💙💖💜💙
I really feel being outed by the LGBT since I'm asexual and apparently because of my lack of sexual attraction diminishes my attraction romantically to the same gender.
@@novariverstone8973 yea but I mean what about people that has grown older proportionality have a rapidly decreasinglibido, wouldn't they be heading towards asexuality?
@@runningoutoftime7065 asexual means lack of sexual attraction. And asexual can have No libido, low libido or a high libido and has nothing to sexual attraction. Sexual attraction; WHO feel lust for ,who like to have sex with, libido= when and how often you are horny. So, older People which libido decreases doesnt becoming asexual.
omg thank u so much for this!!!! im came out as 12 for... some reason and now am 16 and thinking like am i bi ??? im pretty sure i am but i still have moments where im like nah just making it up for attention. anyway so thanku for this !!
omg yes yes! Real people don't have to be 'good bi rep', because real people literally can't be representation. We simply are bisexual, thank you so much for this video!
As a bisexual woman, the group who has shown me the most intolerance are lesbians who appointed themselves LGBTQ gatekeepers and assigned themselves as experts of identifying other women’s “real” sexuality. Straight, CIS gendered people who I have come out to have all been accepting and if they judge me have been good enough to lock judgements in their inner monologue. I don’t see “passing privilege” as much of a privilege at all, it just means the group who works the hardest to discriminate against me is different and comes from within the LGBTQ community itself. Yes we have unfair judgements across all of society, and it’s all so toxic, but the lesbian gatekeepers are the group I have found to be most aggressively antagonistic toward bisexual women. When I was younger my best friend for years was a lesbian who relentlessly touted the idea that if a woman was attracted to a man on any level she is straight and *maybe* bicurious, any other people they find attractive equate to a curiosity, and not a genuine attraction. That went on for so many years I *did* internalize that for a while and the confusion I had on my own identity lasted far longer than it should have. I wish I could say that she was the only lesbian who attacked my identity because they felt they were better equipped to judge who I am than I am myself. They have made sure that the LGBTQ spaces I have sought were extremely unwelcoming to women they deemed “straight but bicurious” women as they identify us for the sin of enjoying any and all kinds of human sexual equipment and not just the parts attached to only half the population. For this reason I don’t feel like I have a community. I’m not forcing myself into groups that obviously don’t want me around. I have been left with a great deal of anger about this that simmers in me through the years now that I’m sure enough in my own identity to reject this bs, but wtf can I do other than be angry and keep a distance? I will say at this point if anyone tries to insist they can define me or actually bring up the “bicurious” label, I may slap them in their smug faces because I’m sick to death of the entitlement they feel to tell me and who I am despite me telling them straight up they are wrong. I don’t entangle myself with pride month and I don’t attempt to connect to the LGBTQ community anymore. They should really drop the “B” from LGBTQ since us Bs are largely unwelcome. The irony of a group (lesbians) who know what it’s like to live in communities where your identity is demonized and discredited then turning around to other queer folks and discrediting their experiences is astounding and they cannot begin to grasp the irony with their heads planted so far up their own asses. They do it again and again without the slightest realization they appointed themselves as a group above another and punishes that group for who they are. They can all feel free to fuck off as I fuck who I want. Sorry for the lack of bi-affirming moments, but I haven’t had many moments that could be considered bi-affirming. The closest thing I can say about my experiences that are bi-affirming is that my sexual partners have welcomed it, but as far as coming out and finding acceptance in the LGBTQ community, nope, crap experience, they seem to go out of their way to ensure I did not have bi-affirming stories to give.
I literally have fit into ZERO of the bisexual stereotypes (because a lot of them are just.. personal style? and that isn't dependent on sexuality? Didn't we address this already in the lesbian and gay communities?) and it hurts honestly. I feel like if I don't fit in with the bisexuals .. where do I fit in?
Me too... I wear leggings and sweatshirts and long undyed hair, I hate plaid and don't like jeans much less cuffed ones because they're restrictive to me. I also don't do finger guns or peace signs or awkward thumbs up, and my friends who are bi or queer don't believe me when I say I am, because I present as straight apparently. They try to be supportive but I feel that they don't believe me and just think I'm trying to fit in with my friend group. It's all very confusing and demoralizing to me because I know that I am emotionally and physically attracted to some men, women, and transgender people, even though I am 15 and have never even kissed. They see me as either desperate or attention seeking instead, because I don't fit the stereotypes and rather shyly admit I'm bi when asked. I don't really feel accepted by any community and yea it hurts. Anyways sorry for the rant just you're not the only one, keep on being who you are 💜
Imagine being confused not knowing if you're straight or bisexual HAHAHA... That's the story of my life ;-; also I just cuff my jeans but because I've always done it lol
I was just thinking about what you said about ‘straight passing privilege’. I actually don’t think that’s a privilege, because isn’t it just bisexual erasure? As a bisexual man, I don’t feel privileged when I have my identity erased, ya know? But I get that there’s some discrimination that we also escape, but for me, and I think for a lot of other bi men, I don’t usually pass as straight anyway? Like the default assumption is that I’m gay, just like the default assumption of people about bi women is that they’re straight. So I have white and male privilege but I don’t have ‘straight passing privilege’
Yup Bisexual people end up facing a lot of different discrimination and a lot also comes from the LGBTQ+ community. We actually are more at risk of domestic abuse rape and all yikes. In a lot of countries, we can't even get asylum like gay people. If we say we are bi we totally get half a death sentence yay /s People think we are disgusting and that we spread aids to straight people from gay people, they think we are promiscuous, they think we want to cheat on them for the other genders, etc. They think we have the privilege of being able to lie about our sexuality and hide in the wardrobe forever and escape any sort of discrimination lol Some people don't want to date us cuz of all of the above (I've dealt with lesbians thinking bi women were disgusting and would cheat on them the moment they saw a hot guy) or some people that only wants to date us cuz they think we aren't monogamous and into "kinky threesomes uwu"
all of those tiktoks about liking a million women and like two men actually make me question whether i'm bisexual or just gay like i originally thought
i came out as a lesbian very recently after considering myself bi a very long time and i totally relate to the "i need to pretend i'm 100% sure and always have been and always will be" when coming out... and im not ! and maybe I won't for a long time because of how hard it is to not like men in our society because I'm a woman and liking men is just... what I'm supposed to do. what everyone assumes I do. ANYWAY NOT THE POINT your video was amazing, I found your thoughts so interesting, especially about the "bi women like all women and one particular fictional man" stereotypes. I find it so interesting to see how bi women and lesbians face different struggles although we obviously have some in common... lot of support, loved your work
I had STRONG bisexual denial for many years and didn't fully come to terms with it until after I got out of college. I would call myself "straight with a bent tip" (yes really, but only in my head) because for a long time, I was sexually attracted to women presenting, but didn't imagine myself in a relationship. On the other hand I was having all kinds of fantasies about men presenting, including relationships and marriage. So because it wasn't equal on "both" sides for me, I didn't think I could call myself bisexual. Once I learned how fluid sexuality can be, it was far easier to accept myself and the label. That is probably one of the biggest tropes that harm us, the idea that you have to be attracted to all genders equally or you aren't valid in BOTH straight and LGBT communities is a thing. It makes it hard to fit in anywhere.
Honestly, Im also confused because i do not feel sexual attraction to women but i want to be physically and emotionally intimate with them but cannot see myself with one, But with men i can see myself with them+ am sexually attracted to them +want to be physically intimate w them, But i do feel attracted to enbies, Im probably straight but i wish i just had an answer.
@@erinys2 I don't want to assume, but that sounds a bit similar to me. So you may be bi after all, but it depends on what feels most comfortable to you. It doesn't have to be men and women, you could just be attracted to men and enbies, and that would still fall under the umbrella.
Thank you so much. I'm binge watching videos about topics like this because in a way I still need to feel validated as a bisexual woman. I also noticed these tiktoks where bi people kept saying "men are sooo trash and I hate that I'm not a lesbian but at least I'm attracted to women" etc. I think you're right about why people might feel like they need to say this. I'm also in a long term relationship with a man but I still don't want to feel like I'm not bi. I don't want to erase all the emotions and rejection I went through by saying I'm straight because I'm with a man. I don't want to invalidate the feelings I've had in the past and the way I'm currently attracted to different people.
Well I'm glad I found this video. I realised I was bi in my teens, which was pretty much a non-event. Had a couple of homophobic moments, but generally my family and friends were all chill (despite all of this happening in Russia; a country which is pretty damn homophobic overall), and I didn't have any identity issues that grew out of my sexuality. AND THEN I MARRIED A MAN. Now I am thirty and... sort of back in the closet. Although recently had this lovely simple exchange with a friend. "That is what we are. Two straight women." "Oh. Uh. I'm actually bi." "Apologies! Should not have made the assumption." THIS IS HOW ADULTS IN YOUR LIFE SHOULD REACT TO YOUR SEXUALITY IN 2020.
People forget I'm bi most of the time . Even people I know talk about me dating men and forget I like women too. I'm more attracted to men so when I found myself attracted to some women it was like, "oh okay". The bi cycle is so real
omg thank you sooooo much for this, I kind of thought I was bi and because of bi-tiktok, I felt really bad for even questioning if I was bi because of my "ratio" of men. I´m still figuring out myself but this feels so reassuring that it´s ok to feel different ways towards different genders. I´m always watching videos on yt about being bi and most of the ones I´ve seen say "I always knew" and felt ashamed for questioning so much THANK YOU !!!!!
Hello! I have recently discovered my bisexuality at the ripe age of 32. I’m so happy I found your video and you have informed and confirmed a lot for me. Thank you. This journey is something I’m going to be dealing with.
As a bisexual (?) that is still very unsure of my sexuality I think this video was so great, it addressed some things that had been bothering me because I didn’t know how to deal with them. As a person who though I was straight until a few months ago this was very helpful in relaxing some of my anxieties about bisexuality and how to define myself. Thank you
I'm 25 and only just realised a few months ago that I'm bi. I look like the stereotype for a straight woman and I've always seen myself that way and I just figured that all women thought other women were beautiful, loved the curves of their bodies, the way they smell, got all nervous and flustered when a pretty woman literally takes away their ability to speak... HOW did I not realise before
I so wish I had seen this video like three years ago. It's really taken me that long to work out everything you said in this video 😅 And even now I often get stuck in the circle of thinking I am straight because I looked at a man, and then thinking I am gay because I looked at a woman (rinse and repeat). Honestly though, Tiktok has helped me immensely in becoming more comfortable in my bisexuality. It helping me work out what exactly I am attracted to in men and women both, because unfortunately I am not horny for everyone 😢
Also, what you find attractive about men, women, and non-binary people can be different. You don't have to be feel bad because what you find attractive in one gender isn't what you find attractive in another
I've often felt pushed out by the LGBT+ community because I'm pan. It's awful when a community that prides (pun absolutely intended) itself on being open and accepting and safe makes members of that community feel like they don't belong or that they need to 'prove' something to be a part of it. All we can really do is accept and love ourselves and hope that things continue to get better.
I feel like I tend to be attracted to more women and non binary people than men. But also, I can't even come up with a ratio of my attraction, its just too complex
I’ve kind of known for a while, but I’m in a very conservative small town so I’ve never really talked about it. And lately some of my friends have come out, And now I’m trying to figure out if I actually am. And I’ve kind of talked myself into pretending I’m not enough that it feels kind of true. But then I’ll just really want to kiss a girl I think is pretty. I’m struggling.
hey! I'm 22 and only now able to say that I'm bi (or pan?) out loud lol. I'm also from a small town and moved away for uni a few years ago. I feel like I sorta always knew I was bi but never really wanted to admit it. I just wanted to tell you that you have time and it's okay if you don't come out to people "officially" if you don't want to. For me personally moving out and to a city was really helpful but obviously not everyone is able to do that. Also you do sound pretty bi ;)
LOVE thank you for posting this!! As a a 31 year-old bisexual cis woman who (mostly) quit social media, I went on bi-tok and both felt validated and also like oh my gosh some of these kids are creating some harmful content! I feel the exact same way that these stereotypes can help us feel a part of a community but also like the whole point is that your sexuality has nothing to do your clothes or mannerisms (unless you want it to of course). I love that this world exists because I would have loved to have it throughout my childhood (or early twenties for that matter!) but also I don't want to see a stereotype created that has nothing to do with bisexuality or ostracizes bisexual people from the rest of the world. After all, it's a label meant to be helpful it's not a bucket we were actually created in.
Your third point helped me so much, thank you! I'm 13 and though our school does teach some basic info about the lgbtq community, they kinda just assume everyone in the room is straight and they talk about the community like a disconnected thing from the class. It's annoying. I also don't really learn much past: "bisexual people like men and women.' and that's about it. I've had to research so much and your video made me feel so informed but not in such a clinical way? I don't really know what I'm trying to say here lmao.
Wow... I didn't know I needed this, but I totally did. I can't even describe how seen I feel right now with your talk about different kinds of attraction to different genders and how they feel different because for me, they sure as hell do. (I used different too many times in that sentence, hope you understand anyway xx)
Just before the pandemic, I had a crush on a boy and was all *MEN!* Now I have a crush on a non-binary/female person (they are figuring it out at the moment) and now I'm all like *ENBY/WOMEN!* and I think that is beautiful.
I just came out to some of my closest friends and realized I’m not sure what I got into. This video was everything I needed ♥️ thank you so much for making this 🥰
wow thank you for this. as someone who just came out it is very informative and makes me feel like i'm not alone in feeling uncertain. sometimes i feel like i'm being pressured into dressing differently just so that girls may get the message that I am bi. And i also feel like my internalized homophobia has caused me to question whether I am really into girls or that is just what social media has convinced me to think. Do I envy how they look, or am I attracted to them? It's all very confusing for me. I've only come out recently and I haven't had any experiences with girls or guys so there is no way for me to experience or try to figure out how i feel...
I really feel the thing about being ashamed or ignoring the attraction to men. I feel like men are always talked about as these disgusting people of which we (collectively as people attracted to men) have the misfortune of being afflicted with an attraction to them, but I do like men and I don't think there's an issue with that. I'm super inexperienced with dating though so sometimes it feels like I'm just too inexperienced to be critising other people for that. I definitely struggle with bi tiktok culture only saying that they're only attracted a small percent to men. Though there's issues with talking in percentages when it comes to sexuality any way. It was interesting I was watching a video of Kat Blaques the other day about her experiences with pansexuals and bisexuals and I thought that actually made a lot of sense with how complex and individual a bi persons sexuality can be.
I realized around high school when I started reading gay fanfics and using tumblr that I might be bi (which I find kinda hilarious in hindsight but it's true, and I'm still readings fics + using tumblr 7 years later 😂). Fanfics and tumblr were my first exposure to lgbt as a whole since I grew up in Catholic settings (silly elementary school me was really thinking things like 'girls are super pretty, but I'm straight!!! :DD' a LOT I kid you not). Eventually after consuming a bunch of gay media I was like 'wait what if I'M some kind of gay 🤔' and thought 'huh, maybe!' and thought on it for a good while. Eventually I realized I was falling for a same gender friend of mine and I realized I was really-probably-not straight. I tried on different lgbt labels in my mind to see how well they fit (looking back, I leaned mostly towards bi even then). Then one day I did this thing where I looked myself in the eye through the mirror and out loud said "I'm *insert sexuality here*" with multiple sexuality labels. I started with "I'm straight", looked myself dead in the eye and burst out laughing lol (but my honest laughter did let me know that perhaps my little improvised Deduce Sexuality Experiment 🧐 could yield some honest feelings from myself. To anyone debating their own sexuality, I'd recommend giving it a try). I said other sexualities, and felt kinda 'meh' about them. But looking myself in the eye and saying "I'm bi" felt right, or at least way more right than saying other sexualities so I shrugged, internally went 'yeah sure, I'm bi!' and I went about my day a little happier with myself. It took about 2-3 years and didn't feel like a big world changing revelation when I realized my label, but I just felt more proud and happy living with my bi label (and it helped to explain to myself why I never paid as much attention to Disney Princes than I did to Disney Princesses lol) and multiple years later I'm still proud to say that I'm bi :) I don't match many bi "stereotypes" I think lol. But I've been heavily thinking about dying my hair exactly like yours but with light pink so does that count? 😆 I've been wondering if that style could look good and you are PROOF your hair looks so good you make me wanna get my own hair dyed!!!!!!!! And random thought but there came a point in my life that I realized like 'wait what do you MEAN not all girls find other girls attractive' bc bisexuality has clearly been internally truth for me for my whole life whether I had realized it or not. This is a long comment, but this video is so relevant to me and thank you so much!!! I'm happy we live in an era where lgbt knowledge is more easily accessible and you're doing ultimate work in sharing your own knowledge (Also, I got a tiktok ad on this video 😂)
Thank you so so much with being vulnerable with despite appearances not everybody is so certain being bisexual especially in the beginning of realizing you could be one it's very helpful. What is such things the information and entertainment is great and thank you so much.
Thank you. I actually tend to doubt myself seeing a lot of those stereotypes. Aside from coloured hair (which I don't have right now but I used to and I do want to get them again), I don't fit these stereotypes of how a bisexual should look like. I am a fairly fem girl in the way I dress (not behave though), I don't wear jeans or button-ups (at least not the bi type). I am in a relationship with a guy. I would like to be with a girl but I don't want to now because I do love my fiancé and I don't see myself changing the way our relationship works anytime soon. I have never been with a woman and chances are, I never will be. I only realised I wasn't straight after I'd been with my partner for three years. Being bi is still a part of me. I want to see representation, I think girls are pretty in a similar way to my SO which does influence certain conversations, certain parts of our lives... I don't get discriminated against in my day to day life - but there are still people who think I should burn in hell just for liking women. I also have not come out to anyone else than my partner and my mum but if I one day decide to be more open about it I might complicate some of my relationships. I also have a child and seeing how hard it was for me to realise I am bisexual even when growing up in a very open-minded family (my brother is gay and accepted) changed my perception of how prevalent internalised homophobia is and how much we have to shift our approach to bringing up children. Thank you for this.
thank you for your comment. I've spoken to so many people who talk about being bisexual whilst never having experiences with certain genders and it's such a tough thing.
In a similar situation - only came to the realization that I'm bi after marrying a guy. Fortunately, he and my parents and close friends are cool with it. But one of the things that delayed this realization is that there was so little bi representation when I was younger. Even though I knew that being bi was a thing since I was in my teens (I watched the Kinsey film with my parents, at their suggestion, FFS), the only women I knew who liked other women were pairs of relatively butch lesbians. So I think on some level I assumed that if I already knew liked guys, and I wasn't attracted to butch women, then I couldn't be bi, and those other unacknowledged feelings must just be aesthetic appreciation. But...nope. I DO think most women are aesthetically pleasing (whereas I would not make that blanket statement about men), but some are also attractive to me...and they do not look at all like the guys I think are attractive. In realizing this, it helped a lot to see bi female youtubers (eg. Trin Lovell, Melina Pendulum, Shaaba) as well as some lesbian youtubers (eg. Jessica Kellgren-Fozard) who embrace a more feminine aesthetic (It's mainly the hair. I don't really care about skirts vs. pants, but I like long hair, OK?!). Point is...wear what you like! And good luck with the parenting. You may not be able to cancel out cultural heteronormativity, but as long as your kid knows you love them and will accept them no matter who they figure themselves out to be, you did your job well.
This video is great and important 💖 Especially the reminder that our identities aren't rigid and can change over time 🥰 Being bisexual and nonbinary is indeed confusing, but mostly because of people needing you to be sure and prove you're not just gay, binary trans or hate the patriarchy lol Also I think as a bisexual dfab person it's hard being attracted to men because men are often terrible lol so it's easier to focus on your attraction to women or nonbinary people for example. P.S. I feel that fitting into stereotypes thing lmao I'm horny and have blue hair
I appreciate this so much❤️ I had to delete tiktok bc the sexuality tiktoks although sometimes made me laugh just started to make me feel so invalidated and even more confused ab my identity
11:37 ummmm REALTABLE AF😂😂😂 and also i'm hella confused because women and men are hot af but i think i only romantically love women and adding to that the sexual attraction feels different in itself too depending on the gender of the person.
this is a really important message! i think often times harmful ideas and messages can be spread within the community even if unintentional. great video!
Everytime I've crushed on a girl I dont realize it until I think back into it and it makes me frustrated because I could've enjoyed those moments better 😭😭
I may not be bi but as someone who is in a straight passing relationship I can wholeheartedly second the fact that your queer identity gets completely erased. I came out at 14 and recently, a decade later, had to remind my parents that it wasn't a phase, I wasn't confused, I wasn't doing it for attention. Humans are so complicated so it can be really frustrating when people insist that there must be a "simple" way for you to describe yourself and your sexuality!
wow that oversharing segment was the most relatable thing I've ever heard. also this whole video makes me feel very Valid™ and I think I really needed to hear this so thanks
My first experience with a guy was with a close friend at the time. We went to a party at his house and had a good time. At one point my drunk ass stumbled over and landed on him. He looked at me and smiled and we made out. Wasn’t til like a week later I realized „hold up that was kinda gay but I also like girls but what?“ That friend ended up meeting a girlfriend around that time and they have been together ever since but that moment at the party we kept between us. It was our nice little gay moment that we shared and thinking back on it makes me so happy. This video was gerat! I am really struggling with how to be a „proper bisexual“ and have experienced a lot of negative reactions from friends but also members of the lgbtq community. It’s nice to know others are as confused as me.
I'm so sorry some people have had a negative reaction to your sexuality, but I hope that you can surround yourself with people who are happy and supportive of you
Its interesting that after coming out as a trans masc person (who is still very visibly 'female') I changed my view of my attraction to men from being 'hetero' to 'gay' and my attraction to women from 'gay' to 'hetero'. But if I was with a man the world would see us as a straight couple even though we would be a gay couple and being with a woman as a gay couple even though itd be a heterosexual relationship. So id either be in a gay relationship or be in a relationship the world would think was gay.
Growing up in the Deep South of the United States, the normalized homophobia was an incredibly difficult thing to conquer. I was in my mid 20s when I finally accepted and identified and came out as bisexual, and it still took a few years for me to finally accept that I am also non binary. The journey is rough and the road map is different for everyone, but we are all still in this together.
I agree with your point completely. Being bisexual has nothing to do with what I look like, dress like or act like. I don’t wear my hair dyed with bisexual flag colors nor wear cuffed jeans. I am simply me and reminding myself of that is so better off. I also believe that they only show one side of being bi and they forget of the nuances and the intersectional parts of our lives. The Tik Tok bi community doesn’t represent those parts.
Came out yesterday as bi to a group of kids in my class so today one of the girls from the group proceeded to question me for 20 minutes (which as a polite person I stood there and answered all these questions) then she told me “you do you I support you but I just don’t get it you know it just doesn’t make sense I just don’t get this whole LQBT community shit”. I walked away and had a good old fashion panic attack for fuck knows what reason. Oh and she also said why don’t I just pick a side. God I love being bisexual.
When you said old, I was confused, because you're not looking that old. After you saying your age I feeled old too, because I'm in a similar age. 😂 To blame the fault on TikTik is in most cases the right thing 😂 Not every Bi-Person ist like... Tik-Tok-Bi. And I think thats kind a great, because it would be a bit boring, if everyone would be the same💜
Me, a bisexual who has never dyed their hair or cuffed their jeans: I’m clearly a f a k e
@@ameliasellers6396 other way around for me cuffed my jeans but am not dyeing my hair
Ive only ever got my hair dyed once after years of asking and it was blond highlights that were hardly noticable. I wanted to go full blonde but the people at super cuts said they couldnt do it since my hair is brown
Never cuffed my pants unless they were too long once in my life.
Me, having never dated the same gender :
I'm clearly a F A G
sometimes for a month or two at a time i’ll only be attracted to one gender and be like “oh i guess i’m a lesbian? internalised homophobia?” but then the next week i’m like BOYS
oof FEEL THIS
Not just me? That it reassuring XD
Same! The bi-cycle is a journey lol
Yeah, I've been constantly romantically attracted to men for the past few months, but I think that's probably because most of the new people I've been meeting are men.
Sometimes it feels like female friends are hard to find.
omg, exactlyyyyy
I didn't know I was Bi until one day I realized I was in love with a colleague of mine. Imagine my surprise when my brain started saying: HOLD HER HAND HOLD HER HAND HOLD HER HAND.
I just went: hehe sounds gay
...
wAit a MInuTe
WaIT a mINuTE I love this ahahah
I convinced myself that when I was checking out girls in my highschool I was just "admiring" how nice they look and now 3 years later I'm having a bisexual epiphany. So that's fun.
My bisexual soul has been blessed🌸
As a raging bisexual who has been dating her first ever boyfriend for four years, I know I could very happily date someone who isn’t a man. I just haven’t.
This video is so so so amazing and interesting. Thank you so much :)
I feel so validated with the point you said about having different kinds of attraction with different genders. I felt like I needed to be completely equally romantically and sexually attracted to all genders for my bi/pan sexuality to be valid. My attraction to different genders always feels different because I'm more drawn to the person and not just their gender. Great video! I still need to work on some internalized homophobia but thank you for making people feel less alone :-)
Ok but I have to pause to tell you that your Old Bisexual impression is UNCANNILY Old Merlin lmao
OH GOD IT IS
lmao
me crying watching this because i needed it? more likely than you think
I HOPE IT WAS GOOD TEARS
@@AMillionMadMusings YES AND THANK YOU
i do think the "i'm bi which means i'm attracted to every woman on the planet and three male celebrities" makes it kinda hard for people to work out of they're bi or gay
because im a lesbian but there are some male celebs/characters who i love and am kinda attracted to?? idk but i recognise that its cause theyre unrealistic crushes and therefore i don't feel the sense of dread that i have every time a man enters my personal space
like its fine to think harry styles is a top tier human aesthetically and personality wise without wanting to be with him
ugh ur harry styles crush is so valid same omg
that is so true !!! some babes are like "the only men i'm attracted to are fictional/celebrities and i couldn't picture myself dating a real-life one, haha bisexual stereotype" NO 😭 i don't blame them ofc but we need to stop
i totally agree it muddies the waters!! in my personal experience as someone who had/has a preference for men it made me feel like i was not bi, like i was supposed to have a preference for women or i wouldn‘t be bi otherwise.
This made me remember that one time I came out to a friend, and she asked me if I was joking about being bisexual at least five times...and then I had to explain I didn't feel attracted to her...or sexualize her in any way (truly, not my type.)...and how it works for me...
Good times.
I hate that I felt predatory just by coming out back then. And later on when I got a crush on another friend but genuinely didn't want to have her as anything but a friend, but felt like I was being pushy by just being honest.
So, tiny PSA for the kids ;)
- Internalized homophobia is a pain
- Coming out before being ready because thinking if you don't you're being homophobic (I don't get it either.) is not something I recommend
- And you might need to explain how being Bi works for you, sometimes, although you don't owe anyone your preference to anyone.
- And hey! Tell your crush (if you think it's safe to do so) that you like them. If it doesn't land, you might get an awesome friend.
this is such good advice!! and i'm so sorry your friend reacted in that way.
Your second point hit me, hard. I watch bi Tiktoks too and when I see how, ultimately, in those clips, bi women seem to always prefer women to men, my internalised homophobia gives me so much anxiety. My first (and only, thank god) panic attack happened because I thought I would eventually leave my boyfriend for a girl, that I was faking loving him since women were "better" to date, cuter, whilst men are trash and blablabla... I get regular anxiety crying sessions because I'm afraid of realising this fake attraction to my boyfriend - which, of course, is a very real attraction and very loving relationship. Lol, I'm afraid to befriend girls because I think I'll fall in love with them eventually - that's how deep it goes. Anyway, awesome video Gemma!
This has made me feel so so so much better about questioning right now. I have identified as bisexual since I was 12 or 13 and I started to question that during quarantine because I have such a preference for women and I exhibited a good few of the symptoms of comphet described in the “Am I a Lesbian?” masterdoc. It’s all just been so so confusing and stressful and I was scared of lying (which is stupid but ya know). And yeah, TikTok putting way more emphasis on gay attraction, my lesbian friends hating on men all the time (which is fair but still), and acting like being attracted to men is something to be pitied, has all made me question my sexuality. But this made me feel so so so much better. I think I am bisexual, and it’s okay to fall into stereotypes. It’s okay to like women more. It’s okay to like men. There are good ones out there and it’s actually okay to like them. So yeah. Thank you so much. This seriously made me feel so much better about everything. And yeah!! It’s all TikTok’s fault!!!
Im so glad this helped and believe me I have BEEN THERE
honestly I get where your friends are coming from, but I feel like we really need to move past the whole hating on men thing.. it does so much damage, especially to transmasc people and bi people who have to deal with so much external and internalised shit anyway.. I used to say that I've always felt ashamed of liking women and thanks to the whole twitter/tumblr/tiktok crowd I now feel ashamed for liking men as well and honestly doesn't that just fucking suck? I'm so over it tbh. men can be amazing and beautiful and lovely and no one should feel ashamed of being attracted to them (or being one). saying that doesn't mean we can't still recognise patriarchy and mysoginy and privilege
Verilybitchie did an analysis of the lesbian masterdoc & how it clashes a lot with bisexuality if youre interested
The whole percentage argument is why I usually define sexuality in general as "potential" attraction rather than some absolute thing. Even "monosexual" people are not attracted to EVERY person of the gender they are attracted to. As a pan/bi-sexual, I have the POTENTIAL to be attracted to multiple/all genders. There are women I am not attracted to and there are men I am not attracted to, but I still have the potential to be attracted to both.
I had internalized biphobia for so long. I called myself a lesbian and refused to be attracted to men. Literally any time I saw a cute guy I stopped myself and was like, "yeah he's cute but puppies are also cute so no". I guess that I was just afraid that one day I would find a man instead of a woman and that that would somehow erase my sexuality or something. And then...the moment that I decided that I was 100% done and fed up with my biphobic self arrived. There I was re watching my favorite TV show, "Lucifer", when Lucifer and another character (no spoilers) walk into a bar. They approach a woman sitting at a table and attempt to get something from her when she calls her bodyguard over to remove Lucifer and the woman. Lucifer, of course, is not at all phased when he sees that the bodyguard is about to remove him and his female friend forcefully. And then it happens. Lucifer calmly approaches the guard and as he does his eyes blaze red and his metaphorical hackles rise. The guard's face quickly changes from confident to fearful as he put his hands up and backs away. Not only does HE back away from Lucifer, but so does every other man in the area. I see this scene and immediately begin to feel the drool welling up in my mouth when I suddenly feel good old miss. biphobia give me a slap. I decided that I had had enough. So I squashed the bitch down, stared at the television screen as Lucifer began beating the absolute heck out of anyone who dared attack him, and let the drool pool. The other character that Lucifer had entered that bar with also watches Lucifer fight and as she does she begins to bite her lip in obvious arousal to which I proudly proclaimed, "SAME!". I now proudly call myself bisexual and no longer punish myself for my attraction to men (even tho a lot of them are stupid). Sorry for the dramatics btw. I am simply a very dramatic bitch and I cannot help it lol.
I appreciate this so much, it's very validating to have all of these fears said out loud in a vid like this! Thank you omg
I’m so glad it helped!!
I really hate when people want you to put your sexuality on a scale or in percentages. Like do I have to remember every crush I've ever had and calculate how many of them were this and that so I can get an estimate? or do I have to convince people that I've felt very strongly about all of the people I've fallen in love with? if yes to the second alternative that would mean that I'm in the middle of the two standard sexuality alternatives people want all of us to choose between :) It really should not matter if you're more attracted to men or women, you can't even measure sexuality in that way it'll just get too complicated.
......I really needed this. I am still discovering my self as a 17 year old, from butterflies in my stomach when a guy is a little too nice towards me to just checking out women as I walk down anywhere. I felt that me being attracted to men sexually and women romantically meant that I was supposedly faking my attraction to either gender. I live in a society where LGBT+ community is being ashamed and looked down upon as a disgrace to one's family. That being part of it means that you are just acting out and rebelling out your teens years. Not to mention the causal homophobia of making LGBT+ characters in Bollywood as a running joke. I have encountered numerous times where my peers would openly discuss that being bisexual meaning you are confused or an excuse for being unfaithful to your partner. Or that you are just catering to the male gaze.
When you talked about these issues, it honestly felt the fog of doubt in my mind just got more clearer. That it is okay to be confused. I never got that advice from someone as I had no one to look up to. Glad to know now I do. :)
so sad you had to go through all that shit.I hope that it gets better. ua-cam.com/video/r6r8UYU7Zcs/v-deo.html
2.Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga(2019)
trailer-> ua-cam.com/video/pKcamCgBvMo/v-deo.html&vl=en
They both are really wholesome films and i suggest that you check them out if you havent already.The 1st one is about a gay couple , it has great acting ,nice story, i love its sondtrack and it's easily my favourite rom-com of all time. The second one is about a lesbian girl and her journey towards acceptance. It was a really sweet movie and i really related to the protagonist.
Also both films have happy endings so you dont have to worry about characters getting killed of or anything like that(as it is often the case with many hollywood lgbtq+ films)
@@thesorcererwiththepointyhat ........thank you, thank you so much. I needed this so badly. I am literally crying tears of happiness when I saw these trailers, and not to mention, these films have actors who so easily well known and recognizable and so well done that I just can't.
I going to watch them tonight. I have had years of seeing actors and actresses who play LGBT+ characters shamed, humiliated, treated as a joke or plain killed off from the narrative.
(A good example of these is the film "Student Of the Year", I felt so angry when I saw it in theatre, that everyone was laughing at the character who clearly fallen in love with another character but it was unrequited, they mocked him and played a joke out of him. The worst part of the film was the scene were they openly mocked him in front of everyone and told him that he would die alone. It made me so angry that I was crying so hard and had a panic attack right then and there. I was around around 9 back then. But it really impacted on how I thought I will be treated when I will come out.)
This is really really important for me. I can't just express it in words how much it makes a difference to me. I feel seen. Thank you.
@@aastha7350
I am so so sooo glad that I was able to help
I'm so sorry for being late to this thread (moving house is a bitch) but I'm so glad the two of you found each other and you could get some good film recs that could help!! honestly this is the most wholesome best thing. I'm so happy.
I'm so sorry for being late to this thread (moving house is a bitch) but I'm so glad the two of you found each other and you could get some good film recs that could help!! honestly this is the most wholesome best thing. I'm so happy.
I’m just over here simping over one guy after the next (and this one particular one for a year now) and basically building my identity around being attracted to other men. And I enjoy those moments so much when I can confuse people by telling them I like women, cause they’ve never heard of bisexual men. Yes I’m hella gay, but I mean.. WOMEN
How did you find out about my inner fears gemma damn
You’re normal I promise!!
Shrita, cause Gemma is a mind reader.
Me who was cuffing her jeans and sporting dyed hair before realizing I was bi and claiming I was extremely straight...
a thing I've also come across is people representing only bisexuals with a wlw preference
I seriously appreciate this video so much. I'm bi so I'm just going to share some other things I've struggled with in relation to my identity because why not?
I have never been in a relationship. People have just never really shown interest in me. In fact only one person ever asked me on a date and she was a good friend of mine who I didn't feel attracted towards whatsoever so I politely turned her down in order to not ruin our friendship. On top of this my father has ignored my coming out and my mother took it as me saying that I'm confused about my sexuality because she doesn't think bisexuality is a thing. When I affirmed my attraction to women she agreed so she basically thinks I'm a lesbian now. This has basically put me in some type of limbo where if I eventually take a man home my mum is going to be disappointed in me and if I take a woman home my father is going to be quite confused. Just bisexual things.
On top of that, I'm more attracted to women I feel like but it's kind of confusing to me. Because I never really questioned my attraction to men until I realised I felt attracted to women at which point the age old question of "is this compulsory heterosexuality or just bisexuality" started plaguing me. I just tend to go back and forth, feeling more attracted to women on the regular and then questioning if I'm actually a lesbian only to then have my attraction to men confirmed in some way to then go omg am I actually just straight. Like, no, honey, you're bisexual, you like both and more and that's fine. I'm just waiting for my lizard brain to actually grasp that though.
There's also this fun thing where even though I feel more attracted to women I'm also kind of scared to get into a relationship with a woman because of the biphobia in sapphic communities. But then at the same time I'm also really scared to end up with a guy because then people will take away my voice as a queer woman because I don't fit into their box of "queer enough" when I'm in a straight-passing relationship.
Love the video!
My bi awakening was more of a random 3am thought. It started when I was questioning my gender (what if i was a boy? would I still like boys??) And then i started to question my sexuality (would I like girls??) And a few months later I was trying to sleep when my brain just went "oh my goodness we're bi"
(I expected more homophobia but I have been lucky enough to be accepted)
Thank you so much for making this video! I hope every bisexual person who needs to hear this is able to find your video. For me personally, I have a lot of insecurities and guilt about being bisexual in that I present as very straight-passing, I've never been bullied or harmed because of my sexuality, I'm only out to a few people, and (at least at the moment) I'm more attracted to men than other genders. Rationally, I know that none of these things make me less bisexual but I still constantly question myself and my sexuality lol
that certainly doesn't make you any less valid or bisexual!!!
Yeah, I’ve noticed that whole trend with bi women but I almost assumed it had something to do with resentment of hetero-patriarchy. As a bisexual man, I sometimes wonder if me specifically wanting a boyfriend is me not wanting to deal with cultural differences between the sexes/genders, but I don’t think that’s just it.
You mentioned the differences in attractions, and I really think that as much as I enjoy talking with women, and as sexy as all genders are, I just get that pull to run my fingers through a man’s hair and cuddle in bed with him more. And for bi guys that feel more pulled toward women and/or enbies, or equally attracted across the board, that’s just as valid and the fact you can “pass” would only mean you have to hide an inherent part of yourself from others, which isn’t right.
Thank you so much for talking about these subjects, and sorry for posting the 70th comment, thereby destroying the perfect number of comments
💖💜💙💖💜💙💖💜💙💖💜💙
What is an enbie?
@@runningoutoftime7065 Non-Binary = NB = “Enby”. Sorry for any confusion~
This helps me feel so valid 🥺
I really feel being outed by the LGBT since I'm asexual and apparently because of my lack of sexual attraction diminishes my attraction romantically to the same gender.
Can you become an asexual as an adult?
@@runningoutoftime7065 I wouldn't say you become asexual just like you don't become any other sexuality but you can identify as asexual at any age
@@novariverstone8973 yea but I mean what about people that has grown older proportionality have a rapidly decreasinglibido, wouldn't they be heading towards asexuality?
@@runningoutoftime7065 I guess I'm 22 and I've never had a libedo so I really don't know I'm not an expert and can't talk for the whole Ace community
@@runningoutoftime7065 asexual means lack of sexual attraction. And asexual can have No libido, low libido or a high libido and has nothing to sexual attraction. Sexual attraction; WHO feel lust for ,who like to have sex with, libido= when and how often you are horny. So, older People which libido decreases doesnt becoming asexual.
omg thank u so much for this!!!! im came out as 12 for... some reason and now am 16 and thinking like am i bi ??? im pretty sure i am but i still have moments where im like nah just making it up for attention. anyway so thanku for this !!
Whatever u are it’s all good it’s all okay!!! You’ll figure it out and I’m proud of you!!!
Not bi, but definitely know y'all are all so friggin' valid and I love and support y'all! ✨💜✨💗
How is it that every one of your videos is exactly what I need in my life and why do your make-up looks keep getting better in every video???
omg yes yes! Real people don't have to be 'good bi rep', because real people literally can't be representation. We simply are bisexual, thank you so much for this video!
As a bisexual woman, the group who has shown me the most intolerance are lesbians who appointed themselves LGBTQ gatekeepers and assigned themselves as experts of identifying other women’s “real” sexuality. Straight, CIS gendered people who I have come out to have all been accepting and if they judge me have been good enough to lock judgements in their inner monologue. I don’t see “passing privilege” as much of a privilege at all, it just means the group who works the hardest to discriminate against me is different and comes from within the LGBTQ community itself. Yes we have unfair judgements across all of society, and it’s all so toxic, but the lesbian gatekeepers are the group I have found to be most aggressively antagonistic toward bisexual women.
When I was younger my best friend for years was a lesbian who relentlessly touted the idea that if a woman was attracted to a man on any level she is straight and *maybe* bicurious, any other people they find attractive equate to a curiosity, and not a genuine attraction.
That went on for so many years I *did* internalize that for a while and the confusion I had on my own identity lasted far longer than it should have. I wish I could say that she was the only lesbian who attacked my identity because they felt they were better equipped to judge who I am than I am myself. They have made sure that the LGBTQ spaces I have sought were extremely unwelcoming to women they deemed “straight but bicurious” women as they identify us for the sin of enjoying any and all kinds of human sexual equipment and not just the parts attached to only half the population.
For this reason I don’t feel like I have a community. I’m not forcing myself into groups that obviously don’t want me around. I have been left with a great deal of anger about this that simmers in me through the years now that I’m sure enough in my own identity to reject this bs, but wtf can I do other than be angry and keep a distance? I will say at this point if anyone tries to insist they can define me or actually bring up the “bicurious” label, I may slap them in their smug faces because I’m sick to death of the entitlement they feel to tell me and who I am despite me telling them straight up they are wrong.
I don’t entangle myself with pride month and I don’t attempt to connect to the LGBTQ community anymore. They should really drop the “B” from LGBTQ since us Bs are largely unwelcome. The irony of a group (lesbians) who know what it’s like to live in communities where your identity is demonized and discredited then turning around to other queer folks and discrediting their experiences is astounding and they cannot begin to grasp the irony with their heads planted so far up their own asses. They do it again and again without the slightest realization they appointed themselves as a group above another and punishes that group for who they are.
They can all feel free to fuck off as I fuck who I want.
Sorry for the lack of bi-affirming moments, but I haven’t had many moments that could be considered bi-affirming. The closest thing I can say about my experiences that are bi-affirming is that my sexual partners have welcomed it, but as far as coming out and finding acceptance in the LGBTQ community, nope, crap experience, they seem to go out of their way to ensure I did not have bi-affirming stories to give.
Is there a type of bisexuality that's turned on by your fandom videos? Cuz I'm a woman and your enthusiasm gives me feelings
I literally have fit into ZERO of the bisexual stereotypes (because a lot of them are just.. personal style? and that isn't dependent on sexuality? Didn't we address this already in the lesbian and gay communities?) and it hurts honestly. I feel like if I don't fit in with the bisexuals .. where do I fit in?
Me too... I wear leggings and sweatshirts and long undyed hair, I hate plaid and don't like jeans much less cuffed ones because they're restrictive to me. I also don't do finger guns or peace signs or awkward thumbs up, and my friends who are bi or queer don't believe me when I say I am, because I present as straight apparently. They try to be supportive but I feel that they don't believe me and just think I'm trying to fit in with my friend group. It's all very confusing and demoralizing to me because I know that I am emotionally and physically attracted to some men, women, and transgender people, even though I am 15 and have never even kissed. They see me as either desperate or attention seeking instead, because I don't fit the stereotypes and rather shyly admit I'm bi when asked. I don't really feel accepted by any community and yea it hurts. Anyways sorry for the rant just you're not the only one, keep on being who you are 💜
You're my comfort youtuber
at last! somebody talked about the internalised biphobia of many of these tikotoks/posts/memes! thank you ❤️💜💙
Imagine being confused not knowing if you're straight or bisexual HAHAHA...
That's the story of my life ;-;
also I just cuff my jeans but because I've always done it lol
I was just thinking about what you said about ‘straight passing privilege’. I actually don’t think that’s a privilege, because isn’t it just bisexual erasure? As a bisexual man, I don’t feel privileged when I have my identity erased, ya know? But I get that there’s some discrimination that we also escape, but for me, and I think for a lot of other bi men, I don’t usually pass as straight anyway? Like the default assumption is that I’m gay, just like the default assumption of people about bi women is that they’re straight. So I have white and male privilege but I don’t have ‘straight passing privilege’
i totally see how different this could be for bi men and gahhhh yes i can see how frustrating that is
Yup Bisexual people end up facing a lot of different discrimination and a lot also comes from the LGBTQ+ community. We actually are more at risk of domestic abuse rape and all yikes.
In a lot of countries, we can't even get asylum like gay people. If we say we are bi we totally get half a death sentence yay /s
People think we are disgusting and that we spread aids to straight people from gay people, they think we are promiscuous, they think we want to cheat on them for the other genders, etc. They think we have the privilege of being able to lie about our sexuality and hide in the wardrobe forever and escape any sort of discrimination lol
Some people don't want to date us cuz of all of the above (I've dealt with lesbians thinking bi women were disgusting and would cheat on them the moment they saw a hot guy) or some people that only wants to date us cuz they think we aren't monogamous and into "kinky threesomes uwu"
all of those tiktoks about liking a million women and like two men actually make me question whether i'm bisexual or just gay like i originally thought
i came out as a lesbian very recently after considering myself bi a very long time and i totally relate to the "i need to pretend i'm 100% sure and always have been and always will be" when coming out... and im not ! and maybe I won't for a long time because of how hard it is to not like men in our society because I'm a woman and liking men is just... what I'm supposed to do. what everyone assumes I do. ANYWAY NOT THE POINT your video was amazing, I found your thoughts so interesting, especially about the "bi women like all women and one particular fictional man" stereotypes. I find it so interesting to see how bi women and lesbians face different struggles although we obviously have some in common... lot of support, loved your work
I had STRONG bisexual denial for many years and didn't fully come to terms with it until after I got out of college. I would call myself "straight with a bent tip" (yes really, but only in my head) because for a long time, I was sexually attracted to women presenting, but didn't imagine myself in a relationship. On the other hand I was having all kinds of fantasies about men presenting, including relationships and marriage. So because it wasn't equal on "both" sides for me, I didn't think I could call myself bisexual. Once I learned how fluid sexuality can be, it was far easier to accept myself and the label. That is probably one of the biggest tropes that harm us, the idea that you have to be attracted to all genders equally or you aren't valid in BOTH straight and LGBT communities is a thing. It makes it hard to fit in anywhere.
Honestly, Im also confused because i do not feel sexual attraction to women but i want to be physically and emotionally intimate with them but cannot see myself with one, But with men i can see myself with them+ am sexually attracted to them +want to be physically intimate w them, But i do feel attracted to enbies, Im probably straight but i wish i just had an answer.
@@erinys2 I don't want to assume, but that sounds a bit similar to me. So you may be bi after all, but it depends on what feels most comfortable to you. It doesn't have to be men and women, you could just be attracted to men and enbies, and that would still fall under the umbrella.
Thank you so much. I'm binge watching videos about topics like this because in a way I still need to feel validated as a bisexual woman. I also noticed these tiktoks where bi people kept saying "men are sooo trash and I hate that I'm not a lesbian but at least I'm attracted to women" etc. I think you're right about why people might feel like they need to say this. I'm also in a long term relationship with a man but I still don't want to feel like I'm not bi. I don't want to erase all the emotions and rejection I went through by saying I'm straight because I'm with a man. I don't want to invalidate the feelings I've had in the past and the way I'm currently attracted to different people.
Well I'm glad I found this video. I realised I was bi in my teens, which was pretty much a non-event. Had a couple of homophobic moments, but generally my family and friends were all chill (despite all of this happening in Russia; a country which is pretty damn homophobic overall), and I didn't have any identity issues that grew out of my sexuality. AND THEN I MARRIED A MAN. Now I am thirty and... sort of back in the closet.
Although recently had this lovely simple exchange with a friend.
"That is what we are. Two straight women."
"Oh. Uh. I'm actually bi."
"Apologies! Should not have made the assumption."
THIS IS HOW ADULTS IN YOUR LIFE SHOULD REACT TO YOUR SEXUALITY IN 2020.
"I was on bisexual Tiktok the other day" Me, all the days.
😂Sameee. I don't even have tik tok. I just watch UA-cam compilations
This makes me very happy
this. this is good.
People forget I'm bi most of the time . Even people I know talk about me dating men and forget I like women too.
I'm more attracted to men so when I found myself attracted to some women it was like, "oh okay".
The bi cycle is so real
omg thank you sooooo much for this, I kind of thought I was bi and because of bi-tiktok, I felt really bad for even questioning if I was bi because of my "ratio" of men. I´m still figuring out myself but this feels so reassuring that it´s ok to feel different ways towards different genders. I´m always watching videos on yt about being bi and most of the ones I´ve seen say "I always knew" and felt ashamed for questioning so much
THANK YOU !!!!!
I think it's SUPER normal to be questioning and confused when it comes to your sexuality! Whatever you are I promise it's all good and all okay
Hello! I have recently discovered my bisexuality at the ripe age of 32. I’m so happy I found your video and you have informed and confirmed a lot for me. Thank you. This journey is something I’m going to be dealing with.
37 and same!
@@BurqueCycle You’re a beautiful Bi!
As a bisexual (?) that is still very unsure of my sexuality I think this video was so great, it addressed some things that had been bothering me because I didn’t know how to deal with them. As a person who though I was straight until a few months ago this was very helpful in relaxing some of my anxieties about bisexuality and how to define myself. Thank you
I'm 25 and only just realised a few months ago that I'm bi. I look like the stereotype for a straight woman and I've always seen myself that way and I just figured that all women thought other women were beautiful, loved the curves of their bodies, the way they smell, got all nervous and flustered when a pretty woman literally takes away their ability to speak... HOW did I not realise before
I so wish I had seen this video like three years ago. It's really taken me that long to work out everything you said in this video 😅 And even now I often get stuck in the circle of thinking I am straight because I looked at a man, and then thinking I am gay because I looked at a woman (rinse and repeat). Honestly though, Tiktok has helped me immensely in becoming more comfortable in my bisexuality. It helping me work out what exactly I am attracted to in men and women both, because unfortunately I am not horny for everyone 😢
Oh boy I have BEEN THERE MYSELF ! I’m glad tiktok could help you though!
i feel seen and confident for the first time in SO LONG thank you for this video.
Also, what you find attractive about men, women, and non-binary people can be different. You don't have to be feel bad because what you find attractive in one gender isn't what you find attractive in another
I've often felt pushed out by the LGBT+ community because I'm pan. It's awful when a community that prides (pun absolutely intended) itself on being open and accepting and safe makes members of that community feel like they don't belong or that they need to 'prove' something to be a part of it. All we can really do is accept and love ourselves and hope that things continue to get better.
lol, I was feeling kinda ashamed about the whole liking threesomes thing until I saw this video's ending
hon we gonna like what we gonna like lol
I really needed to hear this, especially from another bisexual. Thank you.
I feel like I tend to be attracted to more women and non binary people than men. But also, I can't even come up with a ratio of my attraction, its just too complex
I’ve kind of known for a while, but I’m in a very conservative small town so I’ve never really talked about it. And lately some of my friends have come out, And now I’m trying to figure out if I actually am. And I’ve kind of talked myself into pretending I’m not enough that it feels kind of true. But then I’ll just really want to kiss a girl I think is pretty. I’m struggling.
hey! I'm 22 and only now able to say that I'm bi (or pan?) out loud lol. I'm also from a small town and moved away for uni a few years ago. I feel like I sorta always knew I was bi but never really wanted to admit it. I just wanted to tell you that you have time and it's okay if you don't come out to people "officially" if you don't want to. For me personally moving out and to a city was really helpful but obviously not everyone is able to do that. Also you do sound pretty bi ;)
All these things will come in time! Explore if you want to when you feel save and confident doing so, but you will get there I promise
LOVE thank you for posting this!! As a a 31 year-old bisexual cis woman who (mostly) quit social media, I went on bi-tok and both felt validated and also like oh my gosh some of these kids are creating some harmful content! I feel the exact same way that these stereotypes can help us feel a part of a community but also like the whole point is that your sexuality has nothing to do your clothes or mannerisms (unless you want it to of course). I love that this world exists because I would have loved to have it throughout my childhood (or early twenties for that matter!) but also I don't want to see a stereotype created that has nothing to do with bisexuality or ostracizes bisexual people from the rest of the world. After all, it's a label meant to be helpful it's not a bucket we were actually created in.
Your third point helped me so much, thank you! I'm 13 and though our school does teach some basic info about the lgbtq community, they kinda just assume everyone in the room is straight and they talk about the community like a disconnected thing from the class. It's annoying. I also don't really learn much past: "bisexual people like men and women.' and that's about it. I've had to research so much and your video made me feel so informed but not in such a clinical way? I don't really know what I'm trying to say here lmao.
Wow... I didn't know I needed this, but I totally did.
I can't even describe how seen I feel right now with your talk about different kinds of attraction to different genders and how they feel different because for me, they sure as hell do. (I used different too many times in that sentence, hope you understand anyway xx)
Just before the pandemic, I had a crush on a boy and was all *MEN!*
Now I have a crush on a non-binary/female person (they are figuring it out at the moment) and now I'm all like *ENBY/WOMEN!* and I think that is beautiful.
As a twenty something year old bisexual this is everything I want to say too
I just came out to some of my closest friends and realized I’m not sure what I got into. This video was everything I needed ♥️ thank you so much for making this 🥰
wow thank you for this. as someone who just came out it is very informative and makes me feel like i'm not alone in feeling uncertain. sometimes i feel like i'm being pressured into dressing differently just so that girls may get the message that I am bi. And i also feel like my internalized homophobia has caused me to question whether I am really into girls or that is just what social media has convinced me to think. Do I envy how they look, or am I attracted to them? It's all very confusing for me. I've only come out recently and I haven't had any experiences with girls or guys so there is no way for me to experience or try to figure out how i feel...
I really feel the thing about being ashamed or ignoring the attraction to men. I feel like men are always talked about as these disgusting people of which we (collectively as people attracted to men) have the misfortune of being afflicted with an attraction to them, but I do like men and I don't think there's an issue with that. I'm super inexperienced with dating though so sometimes it feels like I'm just too inexperienced to be critising other people for that. I definitely struggle with bi tiktok culture only saying that they're only attracted a small percent to men. Though there's issues with talking in percentages when it comes to sexuality any way.
It was interesting I was watching a video of Kat Blaques the other day about her experiences with pansexuals and bisexuals and I thought that actually made a lot of sense with how complex and individual a bi persons sexuality can be.
I realized around high school when I started reading gay fanfics and using tumblr that I might be bi (which I find kinda hilarious in hindsight but it's true, and I'm still readings fics + using tumblr 7 years later 😂). Fanfics and tumblr were my first exposure to lgbt as a whole since I grew up in Catholic settings (silly elementary school me was really thinking things like 'girls are super pretty, but I'm straight!!! :DD' a LOT I kid you not). Eventually after consuming a bunch of gay media I was like 'wait what if I'M some kind of gay 🤔' and thought 'huh, maybe!' and thought on it for a good while. Eventually I realized I was falling for a same gender friend of mine and I realized I was really-probably-not straight. I tried on different lgbt labels in my mind to see how well they fit (looking back, I leaned mostly towards bi even then). Then one day I did this thing where I looked myself in the eye through the mirror and out loud said "I'm *insert sexuality here*" with multiple sexuality labels. I started with "I'm straight", looked myself dead in the eye and burst out laughing lol (but my honest laughter did let me know that perhaps my little improvised Deduce Sexuality Experiment 🧐 could yield some honest feelings from myself. To anyone debating their own sexuality, I'd recommend giving it a try). I said other sexualities, and felt kinda 'meh' about them. But looking myself in the eye and saying "I'm bi" felt right, or at least way more right than saying other sexualities so I shrugged, internally went 'yeah sure, I'm bi!' and I went about my day a little happier with myself. It took about 2-3 years and didn't feel like a big world changing revelation when I realized my label, but I just felt more proud and happy living with my bi label (and it helped to explain to myself why I never paid as much attention to Disney Princes than I did to Disney Princesses lol) and multiple years later I'm still proud to say that I'm bi :)
I don't match many bi "stereotypes" I think lol. But I've been heavily thinking about dying my hair exactly like yours but with light pink so does that count? 😆 I've been wondering if that style could look good and you are PROOF your hair looks so good you make me wanna get my own hair dyed!!!!!!!!
And random thought but there came a point in my life that I realized like 'wait what do you MEAN not all girls find other girls attractive' bc bisexuality has clearly been internally truth for me for my whole life whether I had realized it or not.
This is a long comment, but this video is so relevant to me and thank you so much!!! I'm happy we live in an era where lgbt knowledge is more easily accessible and you're doing ultimate work in sharing your own knowledge
(Also, I got a tiktok ad on this video 😂)
Thank you for this video, I'm recently very confused if i'm bi or just imagining it, it helped a lot
Thank you so so much with being vulnerable with despite appearances not everybody is so certain being bisexual especially in the beginning of realizing you could be one it's very helpful. What is such things the information and entertainment is great and thank you so much.
Thank you so much, genuinely this helped me so much.
Living for your Castiel profile pic
Thank you. I actually tend to doubt myself seeing a lot of those stereotypes. Aside from coloured hair (which I don't have right now but I used to and I do want to get them again), I don't fit these stereotypes of how a bisexual should look like. I am a fairly fem girl in the way I dress (not behave though), I don't wear jeans or button-ups (at least not the bi type). I am in a relationship with a guy. I would like to be with a girl but I don't want to now because I do love my fiancé and I don't see myself changing the way our relationship works anytime soon. I have never been with a woman and chances are, I never will be. I only realised I wasn't straight after I'd been with my partner for three years. Being bi is still a part of me. I want to see representation, I think girls are pretty in a similar way to my SO which does influence certain conversations, certain parts of our lives... I don't get discriminated against in my day to day life - but there are still people who think I should burn in hell just for liking women. I also have not come out to anyone else than my partner and my mum but if I one day decide to be more open about it I might complicate some of my relationships. I also have a child and seeing how hard it was for me to realise I am bisexual even when growing up in a very open-minded family (my brother is gay and accepted) changed my perception of how prevalent internalised homophobia is and how much we have to shift our approach to bringing up children. Thank you for this.
thank you for your comment. I've spoken to so many people who talk about being bisexual whilst never having experiences with certain genders and it's such a tough thing.
In a similar situation - only came to the realization that I'm bi after marrying a guy. Fortunately, he and my parents and close friends are cool with it. But one of the things that delayed this realization is that there was so little bi representation when I was younger. Even though I knew that being bi was a thing since I was in my teens (I watched the Kinsey film with my parents, at their suggestion, FFS), the only women I knew who liked other women were pairs of relatively butch lesbians. So I think on some level I assumed that if I already knew liked guys, and I wasn't attracted to butch women, then I couldn't be bi, and those other unacknowledged feelings must just be aesthetic appreciation. But...nope. I DO think most women are aesthetically pleasing (whereas I would not make that blanket statement about men), but some are also attractive to me...and they do not look at all like the guys I think are attractive.
In realizing this, it helped a lot to see bi female youtubers (eg. Trin Lovell, Melina Pendulum, Shaaba) as well as some lesbian youtubers (eg. Jessica Kellgren-Fozard) who embrace a more feminine aesthetic (It's mainly the hair. I don't really care about skirts vs. pants, but I like long hair, OK?!).
Point is...wear what you like! And good luck with the parenting. You may not be able to cancel out cultural heteronormativity, but as long as your kid knows you love them and will accept them no matter who they figure themselves out to be, you did your job well.
This video is great and important 💖 Especially the reminder that our identities aren't rigid and can change over time 🥰 Being bisexual and nonbinary is indeed confusing, but mostly because of people needing you to be sure and prove you're not just gay, binary trans or hate the patriarchy lol
Also I think as a bisexual dfab person it's hard being attracted to men because men are often terrible lol so it's easier to focus on your attraction to women or nonbinary people for example.
P.S. I feel that fitting into stereotypes thing lmao I'm horny and have blue hair
I appreciate this so much❤️ I had to delete tiktok bc the sexuality tiktoks although sometimes made me laugh just started to make me feel so invalidated and even more confused ab my identity
More people need to see this video! I love it! Thank you!
Oh my god, you have no idea how happy and grateful I am that I've finally found BiTube 🙏 You are an absolute gem. This shit gives me strength! 😤
11:37 ummmm REALTABLE AF😂😂😂 and also i'm hella confused because women and men are hot af but i think i only romantically love women and adding to that the sexual attraction feels different in itself too depending on the gender of the person.
this is a really important message! i think often times harmful ideas and messages can be spread within the community even if unintentional. great video!
I'm really happy I found your channel
i thought i knew all that but it feels so validating to hear this things from someone else 🥺
Okay. This video is so so important. I'm so glad I found this. I am also dating a bi man, and totally needed to hear this
Everytime I've crushed on a girl I dont realize it until I think back into it and it makes me frustrated because I could've enjoyed those moments better 😭😭
Loving your hair and eyeshadow! Great video as usual :)
I may not be bi but as someone who is in a straight passing relationship I can wholeheartedly second the fact that your queer identity gets completely erased. I came out at 14 and recently, a decade later, had to remind my parents that it wasn't a phase, I wasn't confused, I wasn't doing it for attention. Humans are so complicated so it can be really frustrating when people insist that there must be a "simple" way for you to describe yourself and your sexuality!
wow that oversharing segment was the most relatable thing I've ever heard. also this whole video makes me feel very Valid™ and I think I really needed to hear this so thanks
My first experience with a guy was with a close friend at the time. We went to a party at his house and had a good time. At one point my drunk ass stumbled over and landed on him. He looked at me and smiled and we made out. Wasn’t til like a week later I realized „hold up that was kinda gay but I also like girls but what?“ That friend ended up meeting a girlfriend around that time and they have been together ever since but that moment at the party we kept between us. It was our nice little gay moment that we shared and thinking back on it makes me so happy.
This video was gerat! I am really struggling with how to be a „proper bisexual“ and have experienced a lot of negative reactions from friends but also members of the lgbtq community. It’s nice to know others are as confused as me.
I'm so sorry some people have had a negative reaction to your sexuality, but I hope that you can surround yourself with people who are happy and supportive of you
intence oversharing is like an instant like!
thank you so much!
Its interesting that after coming out as a trans masc person (who is still very visibly 'female') I changed my view of my attraction to men from being 'hetero' to 'gay' and my attraction to women from 'gay' to 'hetero'. But if I was with a man the world would see us as a straight couple even though we would be a gay couple and being with a woman as a gay couple even though itd be a heterosexual relationship. So id either be in a gay relationship or be in a relationship the world would think was gay.
This video is literally everything I wanted, thank you so much.
Its confusing and sometimes annoying . ever since i found out about the lgbtq community ive been so fn confused.
Love the video, very relatable. 💜
Also, I really like your colour coordinated bookshelf. ☺️
Growing up in the Deep South of the United States, the normalized homophobia was an incredibly difficult thing to conquer. I was in my mid 20s when I finally accepted and identified and came out as bisexual, and it still took a few years for me to finally accept that I am also non binary. The journey is rough and the road map is different for everyone, but we are all still in this together.
gemma this makes me want to come out more 😯 this was such a helpful video
I'm so glad!
I agree with your point completely. Being bisexual has nothing to do with what I look like, dress like or act like. I don’t wear my hair dyed with bisexual flag colors nor wear cuffed jeans. I am simply me and reminding myself of that is so better off. I also believe that they only show one side of being bi and they forget of the nuances and the intersectional parts of our lives. The Tik Tok bi community doesn’t represent those parts.
i feel like you looked into my head and put all my thoughts into this video
I thank you for this video :)
Came out yesterday as bi to a group of kids in my class so today one of the girls from the group proceeded to question me for 20 minutes (which as a polite person I stood there and answered all these questions) then she told me “you do you I support you but I just don’t get it you know it just doesn’t make sense I just don’t get this whole LQBT community shit”. I walked away and had a good old fashion panic attack for fuck knows what reason. Oh and she also said why don’t I just pick a side. God I love being bisexual.
God I would have a panic attack if that happened to me!!! I’m so sorry you had to go through that
Ooof this hit the nail 😭😭😭😭❤️
Beautiful, subtle point made
When you said old, I was confused, because you're not looking that old. After you saying your age I feeled old too, because I'm in a similar age. 😂
To blame the fault on TikTik is in most cases the right thing 😂
Not every Bi-Person ist like... Tik-Tok-Bi. And I think thats kind a great, because it would be a bit boring, if everyone would be the same💜