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Comment: How to Talk to Black People

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  • Опубліковано 3 гру 2014
  • Even in 2014 talking to "diverse" (codeword for Black) people can be a challenge for some.
    When in doubt:
    -Treat the other person as if you actually believe they are a human being.
    -Find the lowest common denominator to talk about - "Wow it's a hot/cold/ rainy/ sunny day"
    -Feel comfortable feeling in an inferior position. Compliment the other person about something and accept the advice they give. (aka. Get off your high horse)
    Conversation is based on inertia as much as anything else. Once you get it going it becomes easier and can end up being much more valuable than you would first think.
    To Ask Questions Email: Question@EliTheComputerGuy.com
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 609

  • @A2Kaid
    @A2Kaid 9 років тому +274

    Eli you're wrong about human communication. Every IT professional knows there are 7 layers of communication.

    • @chasesmith6400
      @chasesmith6400 9 років тому +6

      +A2Kaid YES! Hahaha. I can't be the only one who got this joke after five days! C'mon!

    • @psychotheo
      @psychotheo 9 років тому

      +A2Kaid lol

    • @ndnd1671
      @ndnd1671 8 років тому

      +A2Kaid 4 if tcp/ip model

    • @dpool7416
      @dpool7416 8 років тому

      +A2Kaid *sigh* *thumbs up*

    • @SokiHime
      @SokiHime 8 років тому

      +A2Kaid and then there's this guy

  • @boxer12350
    @boxer12350 8 років тому +94

    As a fellow person with Aspergers, I am sure you can appreciate and chuckle at the irony of one of us aspies giving people tips on how to talk to people.

    • @AzgarSilverforge
      @AzgarSilverforge 7 років тому +3

      It's not as ironic as it seems at first. Unlike neuro typs, we HAVE to think about how interpersonal communication works to do it. Most NTs don't ever give it much thought.

    • @Arghore
      @Arghore 7 років тому +1

      As with everything there are probably also gradations of a condition.

    • @bikerboy9010
      @bikerboy9010 2 роки тому

      @@AzgarSilverforge I agree with you. Asperger's Syndrome affects people differently. No two people with Asperger's Syndrome are exactly alike. Some people with Asperger's Syndrome are better at socializing with others than others.
      People with Asperger's Syndrome are capable of socializing with people very well, getting along with people well, making lots of friends, being accepted by their peers at school, being well liked in school, etc, but people with Asperger's Syndrome often have to be taught social skills in an intellectual way instead of an intuitive way. People with Asperger's Syndrome often aren't able to learn social skills in an intuitive way. People with Asperger's Syndrome typically learn social skills by learning intellectually about social skills, what is socially appropriate, what is not socially appropriate, how to start a conversation, how to end a conversation, how to tell if someone is not interested in what they're talking about, how staying on topic is what's socially appropriate when having a conversation, eye contact, etc.

    • @whhehejjwhwhwh4794
      @whhehejjwhwhwh4794 2 роки тому

      I also have Aspergers.

  • @TheEbonyEngineer
    @TheEbonyEngineer 9 років тому +299

    #AsaBlackMan this was the most uncomfortable video of yours to click on. This could have gone in so many directions. Yes. White people. You can walk right up to us and talk to us like "normal" people.
    Eli is correct. We are in fact humans.

    • @SovereignStatesman
      @SovereignStatesman 9 років тому +3

      Nerd Seed "You can walk right up to us and talk to us like "normal" people."
      Sure, no matter how uncomfortable. Right.

    • @samandrew8158
      @samandrew8158 9 років тому +5

      videoeditor Right?! I thought maybe the video title was some kind of pun for black-hat hackers, but then I quickly realized it wasn't and was like "Ohhh nooooes!" haha

    • @SamAndrew27
      @SamAndrew27 9 років тому +14

      Not saying I'm some cultural guru or anything...but if someone can't just speak to people of other races without being uncomfortable...yeah, I dunno. Maybe a city isn't the place for that person to live?? Likewise, I don't think it's coincidence that "country" people are often (but not always) the most racist: they don't interact with people of other races and cultures nearly as much. If they did, they'd see it's not a big deal.

    • @TheEbonyEngineer
      @TheEbonyEngineer 9 років тому +6

      TheEndTrend
      Well said.

    • @jaywenden1939
      @jaywenden1939 8 років тому

      +nwalmaer dagalur best said

  • @aggbak1
    @aggbak1 8 років тому +145

    How to talk to us: Speak like you do with anyone else.

    • @gummipalle
      @gummipalle 8 років тому +5

      +Abu Gbak Yeah right... over 50% of muslims want to kill cartoonists, or agree that someone should... How are you going to be open with people like that? Best to limit the conversation to people of a "western" persuasion....
      ...Dont want to step on sensitive toes and get your head cut off!

    • @PeteS_1994
      @PeteS_1994 6 років тому +2

      Exactly, as a Black person with bad social anxiety I find that people that treat me like anyone else are the easiest to get on with.

    • @PeteS_1994
      @PeteS_1994 6 років тому

      Frabbledabble
      You need to go out and live in the real world if that is what you think.

    • @deleatur
      @deleatur 6 років тому

      mandingosjunglegym
      Really? Statistics? A "number" will prove you right or wrong about life? Don't be naive.

    • @deleatur
      @deleatur 6 років тому

      Pete S.
      Great! Now, are you "the easiest (people) to get on with" (bad social anxiety included)? EXACTLY. That's why one can't talk to everybody plainly and freely. Sadly, stupid people feels offended quickly with no reason, regardless skin color.

  • @GuitarGodgt
    @GuitarGodgt 8 років тому +180

    How you talk to black people:
    In English.

    • @kelvinnana205
      @kelvinnana205 7 років тому +2

      GuitarGodgt u must be a wizard

    • @GuitarGodgt
      @GuitarGodgt 7 років тому +1

      Naw just went and asked my sister. She laughed.

    • @kelvinnana205
      @kelvinnana205 7 років тому +1

      GuitarGodgt I'm just really baffled by the fact that people ask such questions... makes me reconsider studying there

    • @mortvald
      @mortvald 7 років тому +2

      What if they are from africa though?

    • @kelvinnana205
      @kelvinnana205 7 років тому +6

      Sousuke Aizen I'm from Ghana ... our first language is English... schools across West Africa teach in English

  • @360WaveProcess
    @360WaveProcess 9 років тому +76

    This guys is pretty cool. At first I got a weird vibe from his title and how he began the video, but as I listened to him I noticed that he is smart. He is just addressing a (White, or non-black) audience that he understands hasn't really interacted with African American people enough to understand that media and negative stereotypes are one thing, and reality is another.
    I can tell he understands both sides, but he's just talking to those who haven't been in real life situations and are probably still scared of black people because of the stuff they read, hear, and see on TV. Don't know Eli's life but just judging by him being a (white) tech guy, he probably had to learn that his previous perceptions about, "black people" that he learned from the media and other non-black people weren't a necessary reality.
    at the same time i could be wrong and he could have grew up around a lot of black people or whatever. My main point is that he understands that other non-black people have a perception of about black people which makes them think they can't talk to them like a normal human being. Like black people are not rational humans. My point is that he is an alright guy and I hope that some of you guys/ladies understand the point he was trying to get across.

    • @1DJLNR
      @1DJLNR 8 років тому +2

      Eli is totally cool, most of us computer heads could never be racists as tech is so so multi..

    • @psgwilliams
      @psgwilliams 6 років тому

      What up rashad. We keep it wavy in IT too.

    • @unheardterror6665
      @unheardterror6665 5 років тому

      This guy's funny and smart

    • @BobTheBuilder-zs6xw
      @BobTheBuilder-zs6xw 3 роки тому

      shut

  • @GreenLighterStudios
    @GreenLighterStudios 8 років тому +98

    On behalf of all black people. Fucking Thank you!

    • @1DJLNR
      @1DJLNR 8 років тому +6

      :) At least you understood what Eli was saying..

    • @tsjr63
      @tsjr63 8 років тому +1

      +Jacob Bass AMEN!!!

    • @Ophelia11
      @Ophelia11 8 років тому +3

      +Jacob Bass Isn't it crazy?!?

    • @GreenLighterStudios
      @GreenLighterStudios 8 років тому +1

      +Aida Fari indeed

    • @GiorgiMcd
      @GiorgiMcd 7 років тому

      hallo

  • @CoachTony
    @CoachTony 9 років тому +7

    Eli, All I can say is that it is all on the individual. For those of us BEINGS that act HUMANE, are the ones who will travel thru life and get the best out of it. No one regardless of Skin color or Social status will take anything from this world but their deeds. Point here, live the best life you can and respect all beings as we ourselves wish to be. Great Video, Brah.

    • @rustie115
      @rustie115 9 років тому

      Bcode B Haha! I shouldn't be laughing at this. This isn't funny stop it

    • @rustie115
      @rustie115 9 років тому

      Bcode B Haha! I shouldn't be laughing at this. This isn't funny stop it

    • @bcodeb5614
      @bcodeb5614 9 років тому

      rustiee sorry

    • @toosinbeymen6304
      @toosinbeymen6304 9 років тому

      Nailed it, Tony. Couldn't agree more. But I'm getting ahead of myself. BTW, how's the weather? Lol

  • @tainoroyal6585
    @tainoroyal6585 9 років тому +16

    This video epitomises why I love Eli's social commentary as much as his tech stuff.

  • @nachomuchacho1640
    @nachomuchacho1640 9 років тому +74

    How should we talk to corgis?

    • @EliComputerGuyLive
      @EliComputerGuyLive  9 років тому +110

      Bestest Tardo In bacon sign language...

    • @GarrySkipPerkins
      @GarrySkipPerkins 8 років тому +2

      +Bestest Tardo meat, corgis like meat

    • @graciep.6984
      @graciep.6984 6 років тому

      (Adopts pretentiously posh voice) As the favored dogs of the Queen of England, they do have a claim to Royal status. The Queen herself is addressed as Your Majesty at first, and as Ma'am (rhymes with ham, not palm) for the rest of the exchange. It would probably be safe to go with sir or madam at least, as corgis are very protective of their royal association.
      Bacon, however, is also acceptable, as the gentleman posting the other comment suggests. The item, that is, not the word, unless the dog in question has been given the moniker Bacon (a cruel thing to do, as every time the dog is called, they will be expecting the treat). Thus ends today's lesson in canine protocol.

  • @mgtowluau5651
    @mgtowluau5651 8 років тому +16

    Eli, this has got to be the best of all your talks. You're more social than a lot of people lacking Aspergers. I'd rather have a "dude" like you around than a lot of "normal" people.

  • @Michaelmayhem32
    @Michaelmayhem32 9 років тому +4

    You right!!! I'm black and I agreed, treat people like a human beings and everything will be find.

  • @lucrtrvl
    @lucrtrvl 9 років тому +15

    How I dream about the times when nobody would give a damn about your eyes, skin, hair color, accent, your adoration for cats/dogs/hamsters/particular places to visit, your favorite foods, songs, OS, apps, your choice of friends/significant others/your personal invisible friends. Basically times when ppl will stop judging each other and will let each other just be.

    • @plowed4weeks
      @plowed4weeks 7 років тому +1

      I donno, if i was talking to some invisible friends id like to at least know if they're invisible

  • @cassie4824
    @cassie4824 9 років тому +62

    Is it wrong that I find this hilarious 😂 lol 

    • @RickSanchez1000
      @RickSanchez1000 9 років тому +2

      Bus driver?? LOL racist subliminal ....but still Eli's ok

    • @joeycarr1398
      @joeycarr1398 9 років тому +1

      hi Luna! It is raining today in my part of the world! :))

    • @Mx6D
      @Mx6D 9 років тому

      joe carr haha lmao. Nice start XD

    • @raincade
      @raincade 9 років тому +1

      Ricardo Sanchez
      haha yeah... it's funny that he realized he was probably being racist as soon as he said it

    • @Mx6D
      @Mx6D 9 років тому

      by the likes of the smily face i think thats highly unlikely.

  • @JeffryLandry
    @JeffryLandry 9 років тому +5

    after watching this, I have the sudden urge to say (in my best Eli imitation voice) “EEEELLLLLLLIIIIII, WHAT YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND IS....” LOL, sorry, couldn’t resist, because I know you love that statement

    • @jamesmawdsley7306
      @jamesmawdsley7306 9 років тому +1

      While doing Jazz hands. It's all in the hands.

  • @AsaGayle
    @AsaGayle 9 років тому +37

    I really don't understand why this is even an issue. Thanks for trying to clear it up for those who are confused though

    • @TheEbonyEngineer
      @TheEbonyEngineer 8 років тому +6

      +Asa Gayle Because it's an issue in the world we all live in. Even in the IT world.

    • @AsaGayle
      @AsaGayle 8 років тому +1

      The Nerdy Negro™ I know but it's not like I'm not a human being or something. The stigma that we're all just naturally aggressive or exhibit behaviors usually found in those constantly exposed to poverty or whatever other *insert black stereotype here* type of trait really makes no sense to me. I think I give people the benefit of the doubt a bit too much when I expect them to think for themselves rather than allow someone or something else (parents, media, etc) to dictate their way of thinking. Idk

    • @chadkunde9093
      @chadkunde9093 8 років тому

      +Asa Gayle In many ways, this has nothing to do with specific stereotypes of any group of people. That was a more common issue in the past. Many kids grow up with a preconception of "different" being scary and confusing, causing them to overthink something as simple as conversation. Add on any personal anxiety about offending someone and a perfectly good person ends up asking idiotic questions like "How do I talk to [black/white/brown/green/yellow/stone/invisible] people?"
      Eli lives in an area with a lot of black people, so it's not surprising that he got this specific question. Someone in San Diego, San Antonio, or Miami would get a different version of the same "How do I talk to brown people?" question. Hell, I heard it growing up when Bosnian refugees settled down in the Midwest and we're seeing it all over the country as Syrian refugees escape their hell to settle on our shores. People too often assume that different means completely different.
      As a white guy serving in the military, I'm more forgiving to somebody asking such a question due to inexperience and anxiety than somebody making an asinine racist comment based on prejudice. The former I can casually explain to them that they're being stupid, the latter is aggressively advertising it to the world.

    • @DarknEssMGs
      @DarknEssMGs 8 років тому

      +Asa Gayle As much as i'd like to say that whites and blacks are the same i can't. There are systematic differences between both, not on the superiority side imo, but there are without a doubt differences on how both groups are raised and how they interact with their own or opposite groups. I believe it's not something detrimental that makes both groups incompatible conversation wise, but the differences are there.
      What if the question "How do i talk to black people" is not "How do i talk to this chicken/cool aid addicted criminal thug", but "Besides not making completely racist jokes and remarks, what kind of conversation may lead to negativity with a black person that wouldn't cause negativity with a white person?".
      Like, If i was having a conversation on art with a jewish person and said Hitler had some interesting paintings, the conversation would get a lot more negative/derailed than having the same conversation with a non-jewish guy. Yes, it's a stupid thing to say to a jewish person that could've been withheld and wouldn't damage the conversation, but maybe that's what "how do i talk to black people" entails.

    • @AsaGayle
      @AsaGayle 8 років тому

      +DarknEssMGs I mean you said "Besides not making completely racist jokes and remarks" and gave an example of something that'd hit that same topic. When I talk to a white person my thought isn't "Boy, how do I talk to this white person without saying something that'd cause a negative reaction" because I just don't try to say or talk about offensive stuff, personally. I just say "Hey, what's up my name is Asa" or bring up something they're doing or into that's relevant to my interests or that I'd like to know more about, even if it's small. Conversation builds from there. I use the same approach with literally any other person. I can't just walk up to a random black person I don't know and instantly click with them just because they're black. In fact I had the exact opposite experience when I first came to college because I came from a poorer background than most of my black peers so I had little in common with most of them besides "Hey, you're black? I'm black too!". The world isn't so binary

  • @tonybailey89
    @tonybailey89 8 років тому +5

    WOW this was a much more positive video than I expected when I looked at the title as a Black man....it was initially insulting to see a video tutorial on how to walk up to me and say hello...but your honesty and opinion are very realistic and make the person who submitted this question look very stupid...and they should feel as such...we don't need a, "yo homie" no "wassup my G"...just a simple, universal, hello.

  • @rossmanngroup
    @rossmanngroup 9 років тому +6

    Jim Camp has a chapter in his book Start With No on how many negotiations can be tipped in your favor when you allow the other party to feel "more ok." No one wants to deal with someone who is always the most professional, prepared person in the room. He mentions how someone simply dropping their purse and allowing everything to fall out actually closed a deal.

  • @burgersquid
    @burgersquid 9 років тому +7

    I think it says a lot about the IT industry in the US that even in one of the cities with the highest populations of black people (DC), people involved in IT still ask questions like this.

    • @umcpdiva
      @umcpdiva 9 років тому +1

      DC is no longer majority black population. Bmore more black than DC is...

  • @TheEgg185
    @TheEgg185 7 років тому +26

    "Hey. What do you think about Abortion?"

    • @FranciscoMartinez-wj8pq
      @FranciscoMartinez-wj8pq 7 років тому +1

      TheEgg185 Here are other great openers. What about "Howdy how is your wife?", "Salutations, do you think this need to be check out" *pulls down pants* and (while in bathroom) *Crawl into stall nextdoor* "Hi, wannah talk about the plight of the proletariat?" Trust us you'll charisma will be unparalleled!?(jk)

    • @themindflayer5952
      @themindflayer5952 7 років тому

      @Francisco Martinez
      LMAO! XD

    • @poloska9471
      @poloska9471 5 років тому

      Francisco Martinez I like the how is your wife one the best. It’s a classic. Inherently not a bad question because maybe you’re just so nice to be concerned for the welfare of the persons family you’re talking to but if that person is all insecure or something they will just be poop inside at you.

  • @earnestredwood4694
    @earnestredwood4694 9 років тому +2

    Elie you got my friend. What you talking about it something that is taught in all the success book that I readed. In order to get a head in life, you have to treat people the way you want to be treated. It's one of the golden rules, again my friend you are on point, keep doing what you do.

  • @xGettinxMoneyx
    @xGettinxMoneyx 9 років тому +3

    Holy fuck im from Baltimore and live there, what county are you in Eli??

  • @Ophelia11
    @Ophelia11 8 років тому +52

    What kind of maladjusted person submitted this question? They're essentially asking how to speak to another human being. Still, great video, Eli.

    • @gummipalle
      @gummipalle 8 років тому +2

      +Aida Fari In many areas, black or brown people come directly from areas without plumbing or education, or they are 2nd or 3rd generation descendants of such individuals..
      ...
      They have a limited vocabulary, and a limited understanding of everything, and are often tainted by faith-based cultural norms ... -They tend to be more aggressive and bad tempered than what we are used to, with less regard for safety standards, debate, and even basic human rights...
      Just look at the countries they come from... You think you just take them to white nations and "poof" they are just like us? They believe in their values, just like we believe in ours....
      The cultural difference is REAL, and failure to recognize that, is disrespectful... Just because people come from primitive cultures, doesn't give you the right to dismiss their heritage...

    • @Ophelia11
      @Ophelia11 8 років тому +8

      This video isn't about black and brown people from what you call "primitive" countries. He said right in the video that he's talking about Americans who, *gasp*, happen to be black.
      And no matter who this extends to, you can still talk to someone like normal human being and still respect their cultural differences. The two are not mutually exclusive, nor is it difficult for anyone who has an iota of social competence.
      Sincerely,
      Ever-Elusive, Ever-Mystifying Black Person

    • @Ophelia11
      @Ophelia11 8 років тому +4

      TELLING black people sort of like you're TELLING me right now, instead of being open to hearing an opinion different from yours? Yeah...
      I never said we're all the same. We're not. People DO need to recognize and respect other cultures. But again, treating someone like a person and respecting their culture are NOT mutually exclusive. If you came up to me and said "Hello, how are you? How can I help you?" like you would a white person, how is that disrespecting my culture?
      What I find do find to be disrespectful is you preaching to me about respecting different viewpoints and cultures, all while calling me "regressive" and presuming you know better than I do, when all I'm doing is giving my opinion on this topic from a black person's perspective. There are other black people in this comments section who mirror my sentiments, but I guess no one wants to hear our take on the matter. How's that for respecting differing cultural viewpoints?
      But hey, you see it your way and I see it mine. If there are white people out there who have been sheltered from diversity and find it too intimidating to speak with people who aren't a carbon copy of them, then I hope this video helps them with that. Have a good day.

    • @chrisrawls668
      @chrisrawls668 8 років тому +6

      +Frabbledabble Do you know how idiotic you sound?....I mean really. You literally just said most Black & Brown people "have a limited understanding of everything". What you're essentially saying is that "white" culture is somehow more advanced or intellectual than any other culture. You're ignorant of your own racism. It's almost mind boggling. I don't blame you though, it's apart of your culture. Who am I to take that away from you? It's disrespectful to think you wouldn't be prejudice and/or racist. That's my mistake.

    • @roofusonna1846
      @roofusonna1846 8 років тому +2

      Someone on the Autistic Spectrum may not have the social skills to deal with something that many times is so poorly handled by neurotypicals.

  • @dmitri8117
    @dmitri8117 8 років тому +3

    It's kind of ridiculous how questions like this need to be asked because of how our society has been built. Talking to people with a different skin color is just talking to other people. Eli is right, talk to people the way you'd want to be talked to. You don't have to be conscious about it, because skin color should not affect how YOU want to be talked to, right? So how you talk to others shouldn't be affected either., and it's as simple as that. We're all people, really.

  • @ImGoingToMakeShowsWithOprah
    @ImGoingToMakeShowsWithOprah 2 роки тому +1

    I feel like you don’t get the question. It isn’t a disrespectful question or will they be able to comprehend what I’m saying or some belief that black people aren’t people, it’s about the vibe.
    Example: I work with mostly black people and there is most definitely more expression, smoother more expressive conversations and a vibe that I have a hard time matching. I feel it makes things weird for everyone that I’m not able to mesh better and able to be truly in the conversation. I’m not sure how to improve when it comes to that. I’m more straightforward with speech and blunt and have a hard time being as connected as I’d like to be. I frequently wish I could match frequencies but I don’t know how or if it just is what it is. If anyone reading this has advice I’m open to anything. I just don’t want to feel like I’m other than and I don’t want it to be less comfortable because I’m in the conversation or in the room.

  • @corriedebeer799
    @corriedebeer799 8 років тому +11

    The answer is talk them just like you would anyone else.

  • @AtikkamMedia
    @AtikkamMedia 9 років тому

    I thought this would be a satirical piece when I read the title. Gradually realised that there really seems to be an inter-racial communication issue that people are struggling with over there. Seems strange to me (the UK, where I'm from, is pretty multi-cultural, and I used to live in South Africa) but I'm pleased that your message on this topic is helpful to those who need it.
    You did a good job of embracing a difficult subject.

  • @landos6567
    @landos6567 9 років тому +1

    When I seen the title of this video I had to watch it and must say was very interesting. I myself live in an area where the table is turned and just as Eli stated I just talk to everyone as a normal human. I travel a lot with IT repairs either residential or business so never know whom may come to the door. I usually have a nervous feeling upon arrival which quickly dies down. It's true that if there is nothing else to talk about then weather is the best choice. Recently I had a repair and started out talking about the service call then the customers wife mentioned returning from a trip from my home town and that set the conversation for most of the remaining on site time. I finished the job and at least another 1/2hr was spent talking. I like to treat people as I like to be treated and don't see a difference based on race, I would be broke if I did.

  • @starlighter3
    @starlighter3 9 років тому +1

    I like your style!
    Basically you're comfortable in your own skin and that, combined with the "humble posture of learning" that seems to be a built in feature of your intelligent, curious and laid back nature, translates seamlessly into your being a cool guy = at ease with others. People (in this case the white audience you're addressing), might just need to be cool with themselves and relax into the cultural adventure that is life, instead of keeping things narrow and familiar so they can keep up. Then interfacing with whomever is less an ordeal and more an experience to be had.
    By the way, Eli. I like your helicopter hands!

  • @RomanCatholicVegan
    @RomanCatholicVegan 9 років тому +2

    Great job Eli. I am a 60 year old black woman and this video has my seal of approval. BTW here in Texas we you speak of diversity, you are usually referring to Hispanics. But your video still applies with minor tweaking. Just walk up and say "Hola".

  • @kimbonice
    @kimbonice 8 років тому +25

    I made a friend while working as a contractor. Guy was white, he was so awkward speaking to me, stuttering, clearly scared about what to say. I finally just told him out of frustration "just say whatever the hell you want to say without worrying about offending me!!!!" After that we became friends and got to know each other a lot more, he even offered for me to be a partner in his hobbies.
    I might be abrasive at times myself, but I have a lot of people that would fight for me in a heartbeat because I walk into a room and treat everyone like a human being, including CEOs of multi-billion dollar companies.

    • @lapamful
      @lapamful 6 років тому

      Kimbo Nice
      Well said, and that's the way to be with silly people. Far from healing race relations, the constant focusing on race makes everyone more aware of race which is wrong. It places barriers between people and stops them communicating naturally, as your example illustrated perfectly well.

  • @thedriftlessverse7121
    @thedriftlessverse7121 8 років тому

    While watching this video I kept thinking to myself that his description sounds like the initial communication between devices in networking. There's a handshake and hello and with the hello there's a negotiation of which protocol to speak and a passing of name information.
    BTW I totally should patent Human to Human Protocol.

  • @jimmygunnz5651
    @jimmygunnz5651 Рік тому

    This video is why I subscribed so many years ago. This and all the other information you provide is so valuable. Im a black man not that it matters but the key here is that I appreciate you just knowing that we need to be treated as humans because it should be common sense but it isn't.

  • @yvonnewhite9006
    @yvonnewhite9006 9 років тому

    Eli - This was just too funny! It never occurred to me that anyone would need a tutorial for how to speak to "other" people. I must say, though, that I appreciate you referring to us as "black" as opposed to the repulsively politically correct (IMHO) - "African American". Bronx/Brooklyn girl here - Charlize Theron may be "African American" but, I'm a black girl from NY.

    • @graciep.6984
      @graciep.6984 6 років тому

      Using the term "African American" can lead to some hilariously absurd statements. A news article about Naomi Campbell referred to her as a British African American model. My ex found one even better, when a newscaster referred to someone as an American African American. I really thought he was kidding about that one. He was not.

  • @25BDominique2021
    @25BDominique2021 6 років тому

    When I was in the military I had similar conversations with people from the Midwest and States like a Montana who never even seen a black person before.
    Eli is right at the end of the day just stay humble and treat people the way you want to be treated, it seems pretty simple.

  • @a.lawrence4969
    @a.lawrence4969 9 років тому +2

    Remember most Black people speak Ebonics and love grape soda. We can all dance and most can sing. Many of us enjoy fried chicken. So my best advice is to start with hello.

  • @civic626
    @civic626 7 років тому

    I'm mixed. Black, hispanic and asian and I was in the military. For all the races that are in the US, the bad part about it is in parts of the united states is for all the types of nationalities we have, we don't mingle. It's literally pick a section the room make it yours, only your race is welcomed there, the other sections are other nationalities/races/etc. If you go there there may be issues etc. That's one factor
    Another factor is stereotypes/slang/cultures/mannerisms etc. Not everyone is going to be equally accepting of someone from another race due to things they were taught in one form or another. They may not be used to talking to black people, because the black etc people they're around... give them shit for anything or they're not used to the culture. Then you have people from other cultures... weaponize their communication. Some people in this country legit don't know how to speak english and there are others that will use a foreign language, slang or other tactics to keep others from understanding. The bad part is it becomes automatic.
    There's certain mannerisms, cultural blah blah and other things that different races have. It even goes generational. And there's certain BS that they go through too. I've actually became friends with a cool dude who straight up hated black people. We talked about it and it turns out that the neighborhood he grew up in etc. Blacks there weren't the nicest to him and his family. Keep in mind people pass this shit on to other people. I know a family of blacks who dislike whites, will kind of tolerate being around them, but after that point, it's ridiculous. And they're the same way with mexicans and asians. My ex best friend hates black people... Scared to fucking death. Yeah I know... I'm part black. I realized it more and more... Was part of his wedding etc. I realized it was because of some of the people he grew up with and their culture.
    The major issue is no one wants to figure out the cause and fix it. It's easier for them to stick to the bullshit.

  • @closingtheloop2593
    @closingtheloop2593 6 років тому +2

    Man, I hate small talk, but I get your point.

  • @rwbazillion
    @rwbazillion 8 років тому +1

    LMAO, this was a good video. In Afghanistan as an ETT (Embedded Training Team) member, I used the same techniques to talk with people from Afghanistan, through an interpreter of course. But something as funny as trying to learn their language goes a long way.

  • @LUISTARWIND
    @LUISTARWIND 9 років тому

    LOL, this is just too good man, I'm in NYC and here you can pretty much interact with every race known to mankind, from the Mongolians, from Tibet, to the Somalians and Moroccans and everything in between, Eli for instance will be immediately stereotyped as the Jewish geek guy from bensonhurst Brooklyn.

  • @robertward3955
    @robertward3955 8 років тому

    thank you so much for this video. As an African American Pro this should be a given but I appreciate you dropping knowledge on those who don't know this.

  • @garrybrowne9724
    @garrybrowne9724 8 років тому

    Man you are so so right! Mankind, humankind should hear your message! You hit the nail on the head my brother LOL.

  • @umaodihirin5879
    @umaodihirin5879 9 років тому

    I love the fact that you talk about things other than computers. I have seen a few of your videos and as an entry level IT professional, you seem like the ideal boss/ manager. You are cool af.

  • @sealteamtech6781
    @sealteamtech6781 7 років тому

    Very honest view points on race and communication Eli. People are all HUMAN BEINGS. For the person who posed the original question...it says a lot about them....and their lack of communication skills. How would they talk to an Asian, Indian, Egyptian or Russian person? Its the same...you break the ice and dont assume you are superior to ANYONE. Treat and speak to people the way you want to be treated and spoken to. Duhhhhh!

  • @przmatic_
    @przmatic_ 8 років тому

    Salute man this was good. This is all people need to hear

  • @seyiojewale7907
    @seyiojewale7907 7 років тому

    So I lived in Dubai almost 9 years. I'm 'black' by the way, and in Dubai, there are many different people of different nationalities. I never once thought to myself, how do I talk to Indian, Chinese, Arab, Pakistani, Filipino etc people. And my spoken English is better than that of most people there, so communication actually tended to be a bit challenging some of the time. So I really don't get how one can be wondering how to talk to people you pretty much speak the language as. However, if I have to walk on eggshells while speaking to them, I don't care what race they are, unless they are gonna deal good business with me, I won't bother engaging with them. Life is too short.

  • @doibing9856
    @doibing9856 7 років тому

    As somebody with diagnosed aspergers aswell, i was wondering which exercises you did to become better with vocal tonality. Assuming of course you did / needed any at all.

  • @denisela3403
    @denisela3403 6 років тому +2

    I'm so tickled. I came for the comments. 🤣🤣

  • @allenwilliams9622
    @allenwilliams9622 8 років тому +2

    It's weird reading an article on how to talk to Black people. Maybe because I happen to be Black. I guess this article wasn't meant for me. But it's cool. I read articles written by white people every day and never gave a thought that there is a target audience except for advertisements and housing and politics and................

  • @MIKETAYLOR3
    @MIKETAYLOR3 9 років тому

    THE RADIO SHACK ARMATRON! I loved that thing when I was a kid!

  • @gadillies
    @gadillies 8 років тому +3

    Treat everyone you come across, no matter what age, sex, race, religion or whatever as equally valid human beings. Be aware that they are unique individuals with personal experiences, histories, emotions, opinions - just as you have yourself - and see how it goes.

  • @westin1985
    @westin1985 9 років тому +1

    Where are the black geeks at? Any of them on youtube? Let see way back when in the Terminator 2 movie there was Miles Dyson that was working on the CPU for the skynet. That was a movie, though. So there are these clubs for robotics and computers in the baltimore schools. Are these white kid clubs or do black kid geeks come there too.

  • @BrewskaySA
    @BrewskaySA 9 років тому

    Aside from my other comment I will speak seriously. This is the first time I have ever commented on a youtube video but I never realized how a normal conversation is effected by the dynamics of racism and prejudice. As Eli said, its 2014 and we still have to deal with these types of questions. I am African-American so I don't want to be misinterpreted. But Kudos to Eli and how he handled this video because a lot of angry people could have chosen to read the title and attempt to make the video worse then Eli implied. But still I have to wonder how can a person live in a civilized world such as America and not know how to talk to another human being. Racism is a problem America cannot continually deny.

  • @anthonyphan1922
    @anthonyphan1922 9 років тому

    i love listening to this Guy talking, you are a great communicator. i've learned a lot from you

  • @RobSummers
    @RobSummers 8 років тому

    Hi Eli the Computer Guy Live, Comment: How to Talk to Black People was great I'm looking forward to seeing your next one. Thanks again Rob Summers

  • @AudioPhreak
    @AudioPhreak 9 років тому +1

    I'm white. I live with black people (college house) There's no secret - Treat them as you want to be treated , i.e., the same way you should treat anyone else. This is called the golden rule. Follow it and your life will go a lot smoother.

  • @MosquitoBite82
    @MosquitoBite82 9 років тому

    Hi Eli!
    Thank you for a great comment! Here in Sweden it's just "as big an issue" with ethnic backgrounds.
    Having a neuro psychiatric diploma myself (ADHD), I can really recognize your "Maybe i'm crazy, but... - reaction".
    There's a swedish song that says "It takes a fool to remain sane".

  • @jaigi9716
    @jaigi9716 3 роки тому

    People are more worried about following what’s socially acceptable instead of just being themselves and respectful. Like you said focus on the things we have in common, not our differences

  • @Arghore
    @Arghore 7 років тому

    Did you know this actually works on nearly 'all' living beings... btw. did you ever do a video on your asperge? because you sound like me when it comes to some of these things. :S

  • @1DJLNR
    @1DJLNR 8 років тому +2

    Great video Eli. ignore the judgmental people and comments.. keep up the good work..

  • @JohnIsett
    @JohnIsett 9 років тому

    In the opening for this vid you sounded exactly like Jim Gaffigan. I think you could do something with that. Wishing you the best "Hot Pockets" New Year, Eli!

  • @livesimplyandhumbly
    @livesimplyandhumbly 9 років тому +1

    As someone who is obviously far more experienced talking to "blacks".
    It is recommended one be far more careful when talking to blacks and avoid high level tops.
    Imagine one is holding a match and there is a barrel of gasoline near by.
    Do NOT be too nonchalant.
    Mistakes or misunderstandings can easily lead to a punch in the face.

  • @alkeryn1700
    @alkeryn1700 7 років тому

    I'm myself an asperger
    i had a lot of trouble in my youger age concerning social skills, now i'm doing better than most people
    but i find it fun how someone who is suposed to have difficulties with social skills
    explain how to be social to normal people xD

  • @MonteroMarcel
    @MonteroMarcel 9 років тому +24

    I can't believe that this video is necessary in 2014

    • @christominded4726
      @christominded4726 7 років тому +1

      Society is still very diverse and ever changing but human relations are still the same. Each era has its dominant group and reasons. We must treat people with respect and honesty. Trust me there is an Anglo-Saxon Culture in the USA and it is just as different as the "other" cultures like Black, Chinese, Hispanics (not all are the same), Europeans (not all are the same), etc.Some cultures are very rigid and uptight while others are more easy going and flexible.As always be aware of your language and others culture to be treated with respect.Then again you cant make everyone happy or like you so take everything with a grain of salt and chug on.BTW, Marcel, I don't see humanity changing any time soon, it hasn't for thousands of years, people will be people.Smile and nod your head and be aware of your environment and connect at least on common ground.

    • @eknowsgamenews1013
      @eknowsgamenews1013 7 років тому +1

      Marcel Montero apparently it's even more necessary in 2017

  • @SkaNarrator
    @SkaNarrator 9 років тому

    God bless you Eli, thanks for bring real life topics to light.

  • @rcabanas10
    @rcabanas10 5 років тому

    Elis just keepin it real!!!

  • @BaSs_HaXoR
    @BaSs_HaXoR 9 років тому +3

    Hey eli, love your channel and have been subscribed on your main channel for awhile. Have you ever thought of collaborating or networking with other people?
    I would be interested, I think we'd get along pretty well.
    If not, I think it'd be cool just to talk with you if that's possible. :)

    • @rustie115
      @rustie115 9 років тому +3

      You think you guys would get along when your name is almost straight out of CoD? Lol.

    • @konnerdroid
      @konnerdroid 9 років тому +1

      I have to agree with the other guy... your name makes you seem like a 12 yr old script kiddie... change your screen name if you want to be taken seriously...
      Remember that the internet IS NOT a playground (although it could be)... it is a real thing that can affect your life... not sure if you've heard the commercial but for those who have: "don't be like unemployed shawn"

    • @BaSs_HaXoR
      @BaSs_HaXoR 9 років тому +1

      konnerdroid​ well, an online alias is one thing, my IRL name is another. I work full-time I.T., security installations; such as burglary alarms, home and large business networking, etc; while, following NFPA-70 Wiring standards. Also, I do car audio installations from wiring through the firewall, molding, etc.
      Regardless of what my online alias is- never underestimate someone's abilities based off of it. That's a bad trait to have.

    • @Evol1HipHop
      @Evol1HipHop 9 років тому +1

      BaSs HaXoR Responded like a boss. Haha.

    • @DBLCreations
      @DBLCreations 9 років тому

      BaSs HaXoR The problem is that no one can know this out of your name, yes we know it now because you told us, but if you want to be taken seriously in this kind of things it's true that you should change your name (alias). The thing is, (if you love Eli and his channel so much, you should have seen this video), but Eli talks about this in one of his video's...

  • @A2Kaid
    @A2Kaid 9 років тому

    Eli do you live in the Canton area? I'm also from Baltimore.

  • @KompressMogul
    @KompressMogul 9 років тому

    When I saw the title, I said to myself Wt! After viewing the video I can relate to what Eli by saying you are not alone. I too am black and Senior IT Analyst. Lol. My solution is reverse psychology, when talking to all cappuccino (no sweetener please) and ethnicity in general. The communication gets a lot easier!

  • @jollyleprechaun5436
    @jollyleprechaun5436 7 років тому +7

    This title made me laugh.

  • @chibha96
    @chibha96 9 років тому

    Your videos are amazing.I have subscribed your channel.

  • @MichaelSanAngelo
    @MichaelSanAngelo 7 років тому

    As one with aspergers, I suck at physical interactions. I'd end up giving point blank responses and totally missing any social cues and whatnot. :| I understand the basics... sometimes. ._.

  • @FayselAli
    @FayselAli 9 років тому

    I can't believe someone would ask questions like that!

  • @49684
    @49684 5 років тому +1

    How do you talk to little people? I always feel like I’m talking down to them.

  • @jaysouthphil7505
    @jaysouthphil7505 7 років тому

    I really appreciate you Eli!

  • @davidcollinhannah5606
    @davidcollinhannah5606 9 років тому

    I find you to be inspiring not just as a professional but as a human being as well. I never would of guessed that you have Asperger's syndrome. But then again, most people don't guess that I'm gay, and have OCD, depression, and ADHD. Never judge a book by its cover!!

  • @blablabla2847
    @blablabla2847 7 років тому

    It is amazing how perception changes according to culture and education. Since I am a "cappuccino" back in the days my Italian flatmate in London asked me "how does it feel to have a black grandma?" I was like... " ask yourself how it feels like to have a nose"

  • @Sultan-e
    @Sultan-e 9 років тому

    I am also a tech guy with 15 years experience. But if someone ask me the same question, I would use this time use the Quran to answer this question.
    It says "O Mankind, We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other. Verily the most honored of you in the sight of God is he who is the most righteous of you" (Quran 49:13). You tell the questioner that we are born from the same grand+ parents. This should solve the race issue with many. thanks, love you brother Eli.

  • @dominigai4717
    @dominigai4717 7 років тому

    Im a new subscriber, when I read the title I did a triple take.
    I watch to find out this man is even more genius than I originally thought.

  • @kaybee8950
    @kaybee8950 5 років тому

    Good Vid! I don't agree with everything you post but this one is great!

  • @texuztweety
    @texuztweety 5 років тому +1

    Blacks and whites got along pretty well from the years 1970 to 2005 or so. Then things got weird when Obama came along, and then the Millennials came along, and race relations declined about 95%, true story

  • @securityguru4071
    @securityguru4071 7 років тому

    Very sad, that this still goes on. I don't know if you have to make your self feel inferior, I consider people to all be equals with different gifts and talents. No reason to put yourself down, or anyone else. Some of the most inspiration people I know are not caucasian. It's just skin color. Just talk to them as if you were blind, then you wouldn't know what color there skin was. If you can't figure it out, then maybe it is time to take a class in it or something, as you missed something growing up.

  • @blazekdb1
    @blazekdb1 9 років тому

    You're the man! Great advice, keep up the great work!

  • @InformaticageNJP
    @InformaticageNJP 9 років тому

    What if when talking about the weather they talk about clouds as chemtrails and i dont have a gun?

  • @stricklydtrader4life50
    @stricklydtrader4life50 9 років тому

    interesting because being afro-american and spending over 15 yrs going in and out people homes as a service tech and salesman in my different careers. I have learn that most people are just that average normal humans being, but with that being said their is technique's to conversations and find common topics that all of us share usually gets it done have fun life is about change lol !!!!

  • @bigsoul
    @bigsoul 9 років тому

    F*ckin' HILARIOUS...!
    It's too bad you even had to have a video on this.
    Your vids are the best, by the way. Keep teaching!

  • @Saunatomorrow
    @Saunatomorrow 9 років тому

    Amen teach, rapport is built on the likeness of citizens and not the common difference. People always look at the differences as prominent, instead of just accepting different personalities, could you imagine if everyone acted and thought the same way??

  • @VinDcator
    @VinDcator 9 років тому +1

    If I were black for a day, maybe I'd feel persecuted, too. But I'm not black, and I treat everybody decently the first time around. An asshole is still an asshole, no matter what they are.

  • @MulattoRedd
    @MulattoRedd 8 років тому +8

    omg... this is sad but necessary! learn to treat people like people 101! great job!

    • @Siel-bm7gx
      @Siel-bm7gx 7 років тому

      Anthony Carson yes simple fact.

  • @utp216
    @utp216 7 років тому

    Dude! You're a Baltimore native? All this damn time I never knew that! You know I think one time long ago I saw you somewhere and said to myself, "That's Eli!" And my brain said no it isn't!! Come to think it probably was you!

  • @sxtxux
    @sxtxux 6 років тому +2

    The same way you talk to white,yellow,brown,grey people.

  • @rodneyford2573
    @rodneyford2573 9 років тому

    This is a very good video. It made me laugh. He was very knowledgeable yet, still very aware that he doesn't know everything. Eli, I've been in IT for a while and interact with many people of many different ethnicity's. I love being a sysadmin. I've been privileged enough to meet people that treat me like IT instead of a black guy that happens to be in IT. You made me think back to a couple of instances where I was certainly made very aware that I was black. Lol.

  • @dominik13579
    @dominik13579 4 роки тому

    I tried this today.
    I walked up to the group and said "heey what about the local sports team"
    but they pretty much ignored me... :/

  • @iimmannii
    @iimmannii 7 років тому

  • @SwahiliSpicE
    @SwahiliSpicE 6 років тому

    boy you must have some British in you, lol
    cause we always talk about the weather 😂
    I love your videos man. just discovered your channel. new subscriber

  • @Lamassu112
    @Lamassu112 9 років тому +2

    That video though me to not judge a video by it's title !!

  • @TheEbonyEngineer
    @TheEbonyEngineer 8 років тому +5

    With the ignorant comments here Eli knows even more so how toxic our country is. Good job everyone.

  • @Northcalifornia12345
    @Northcalifornia12345 9 років тому

    hey i have been practicing html and Java in a notebook, because I can't afford a decent laptop. I live in the bay area as a cook and after rent I don't have much money. Can you give me a recommendation on the cheapest laptop that will get me through a dev boot camp?

    • @stonent
      @stonent 8 років тому

      +Tacocat Get a refurbished Dell Latitude E6420 whatever money you can afford to spend on it will still be better than what you can get for the same money new. www.microcenter.com/product/444702/Latitude_E6420_Windows_7_Professional_14_Laptop_Computer_Refurbished_-_Black . Whatever you end up with, go older if you have to but don't go near celerons, probably stay away from the modern "pentium" and probably avoid anything AMD or i3. If you can manage to get around $600, the Toshiba Satellite S55-B5289 with the i7-4710HQ has a great processor and you probably can't get a better overall value for the money. If you can find a Dell Precision series laptop with an i5 or i7 on ebay for a good deal, buy it! You can get really good high resolution screens on those, great for programming.

  • @rrichardson920
    @rrichardson920 9 років тому +2

    Lol! This was great! You really get "it"!

  • @OhGee703
    @OhGee703 9 років тому

    Great video... The weather will always be my talking point now lol.