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@bigmike obama I think he would of stopped to do it, it was just that he had big thick mittens on was why he opened the bottle and stuck them down his neck..
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A divine self authorship so glorious hadn't been seen since the days of Christ in his ministry. Godspeed Aimo. And I mean Godspeed in the most literal sense.
They gave it to my grandpa in a little tin can like a breathmint style one. He said he'd never felt better in his entire life than when he was killing people high on meth. That was interesting to hear as a 12 year old.
to be fair, thats kind of meth and amphetamines in general for you. Youll feel great doing just about anything, with enough of it, even something a sober you would never even consider
Meth forces such an intense amount of dopamine into your brain that there is literally no experience available in physical reality that will make you feel as good as meth will.
If I was slightly more of an asshole I'd get that with a pic of me and my bro the day he walked into a detox centre. He'd find it funny I reckon but yeah it'd be in poor taste I think, he's worked really hard to get it together.
Fun Fact about Aimo getting into the camp, he got so close he sailed right through the Soviets as they sat at the fire, one of them had their legs up and politely set them down to let Aimo ski by.
I was somewhere around Murmansk, on the edge of the Soviet border, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember my brain saying to my body something like; "I feel a bit light headed, maybe you should drive". Suddenly there was a terrible roar all around me, and the forest was full of what looked like huge wolverines. All swooping and screeching and jumping around my skis, and a voice was screaming "holy PERKELE what are these goddamn animals?!". The Russian campers asked "You say something?" and I answered "Never mind!"... No point of mentioning these wolverines, I thought, poor bastards will see them soon enough. -Aimo Hunter S. Koivunen
the fact that aimo didnt have an immediate heart attack is the most impressive part of the whole story. you'd think slamming that much meth would make your heart just explode.
Thats the interesting and surprising thing about amphetamines if it was a different derivative of it such as Molly then yea he would of died but just regular methamphetamine doesnt necessarily do that
It was probably beating a bit funky tho Like every part of heart beating rapidly out of order like a broken piano that some blew up with a German stick grenade
Not just that he survived it, it was most likely the thing that kept him alive. He had to slam enough meth to keep his heart going at 200bpm+ for two weeks with basically no food, because you need your body to produce some serious heat to survive a week long lay down in a -20c forest, among the rest of that ordeal. Which leads me to conclude that when it comes to meth, the right amount is always all of it.
As an austrian my grandpa was on the eastern front, as "oberfeldwebel" , so he had some guys below him he could commandeer around. Anyway there was a guy who wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed and one night he went missing. They thought since he was a complete idiot that he didn't survive, but the next day he returned. When my grandpa asked where he went he said: well i lost contact with you guys, so i waited for the next group of soldiers and "walked" with them. That next group of soldiers were soviets LOL, but because everyone's uniform was dirty as hell they couldn't tell, took him to soviet base of operations, and he drank like hell with them, and the next day he simply walked back. Another observation my grandpa made was that the italians aren't picky when it came to women. He died in 1994.
@Jeroen Given they were either all exhausted and/or blasted on stimulants with alcohol mixed in somewhere after a long time on the frontline, I'm pretty sure none of them were able to speak Russian that night either.
The fact that he didn't realize how much pills he took actually helped him. that way he couldn't get into a panic attack. according to him he was "normal ".
there is no sense of normal at doses that extreme. he did handle it extremely well though. i think the oxy also in the pills helped keep him from going completely loony, at least until that part wore off and he was left with nothing but meth-induced psychosis. probably not long before he fought the wolverine
Coming down off like 20mg of adderall is enough to make me panicky. I couldn't fuckin imagine what that amount of stimulants would feel like to suffer through.
I think the one thing that kept Aimo alive more than anything, was that the subzero temps kept his body from overheating while overdosing on meth. The arctic weather acted as a radiator to cool the engine of this absolute unit, as he blazed his flaming trail of hundreds of miles tripping his balls off.
@@RexZShadowMr. Burns from the Simpsons when his doctor tells him that everything in his body is trying to kill him but they got stuck because too many things try to kill him at once. Kinda like too many ppl going through a doorway at once.
@@StrawberieAmelie They still do this sometimes. The treatment for antifreeze poisoning is ludicrous amounts of alcohol, enough to give you alcohol poisoning usually.
@@BlackStar2161 you’re absolutely correct about that I didn’t mean to say it only happened in the past but the phrase was used in the past. I don’t hear it much anymore.
There's a story about a Russian unit who had captured alot of Pervitin after a battle with the Germans. Because of this, they all took a ton of it, ended up hallucinating a German ambush during the night, and expended all of their ammo. The next morning, an actual German unit, who had been listening to them shoot wildly all night long, rolled up and captured the entire unit.
It makes sense because meth can easily make you hallucinate if you stay awake longer than 1 night. I have experience and I'm not proud of it. You see shadow people in the corners of your vision
"...where he passed away at the ripe old age of 71" Of the meth overdose finally catching up with him, presumably. Dude gave running shoes to the Grim Reaper.
Reminds me of a war story my great grandfather told at a christmas dinner, involving him and his unit beating a german tank division. Looting the subsequent division for useful shit when they stumbled upon a couple crates of chocolate. They thought they just won the lottery and proceeded to chow down on some yummy german chocolate.... According to my great grandpa he and his unit couldn't sleep for a week
@@randomkriegsman8444 apparently the radio operator was so high he thought his dental fillings were receiving fuckin German radio broadcasts.... Apparently it also made them jumpy as shit, not heard directly from Grandpa but another WW2 German front veteran said something similar a couple years ago at the local VFW, the same guy said night fighting looked a lot like fucking Star Wars with all the red and green tracers.... The only difference was the inverted colors the Americans used red tracers and Germans used green tracers
Not to ruin the fun but no, panzerchocolate does not contain meth. Meth tablets (pervitin was the most notorious) were served separately. Panzerchocolate or shocacola countained "only" a fuckton of caffeine. You can still buy it and i've tryied it, it's good... But you can't sleep after that.
For those of you who are wondering what kind of a story the winner of the writing contest had, while Aimo's story is both impressive and kind of hilarious, the winner of the competition wrote about his harrowing personal experiences in the battle of Valkeasaari during the Soviet mass offensive in Karelia in 1944. He recalled the deaths of hundreds of his fellow soldiers within less than a couple of days, being bombarded by airstrikes and getting crushed under their collapsed dugout, then dragging himself through a swamp and across a river to a road where he was rescued. He returned home alive but impaired. The story isn't as legendary or even unique, but the contest wasn't about finding the most epic adventure, the point was to share and record the experiences that the veterans had endured but hadn't necessarily communicated, while also highlighting the literary merits of the written stories.
@LostGeburah Did you read it? Was the winning story just better writing? Because that's the only other reason I can see for it losing out. You may have a great story, but if your writing isn't very skilful and compelling, it makes sense that it would place lower.
Simo Häyhä, Lauri Allan Törni, and Aimo Koivunen walked into a Soviet-owned bar. The whole night was a blur, and the three awoke to find all the communists slaughtered. According to Simo, the bartender knew his face and pulled a gun. According to Lauri, he saw the hammer and sickle and pulled his gun. According to Aimo, the wolverine came back. Edit: Holy shit, thanks for the 1k likes guys!
@@jabloko992 All of them, I find it difficult to believe any of them would see any reason to fight the others and would instead embark on the most legendary pub crawl in history.
German Historian from Munich here, glad you covered this guy, it's incredible he survived all of that. When i did Research on Pervitin (Methamphetamine) in Axis Forces and their Allies i spent about a Year reading through countless of Frontline Medic & Doctor Reports regarding Soldiers who went off of the deep end, usually by stealing Pervitin because they liked it so much, the small amount of mg that was allowed during early WW2 (after that it was only Black Market and for Pilots) wasn't enough for them. And like all People on high Doses of Meth do, they started to steal and thought "Hey leaving my Post and risking Court Martial is a great idea!". I could write a whole Book in here but long story short: The Axis Forces stopped giving Pervitin out to Soldiers as early as late 1940 because there were too many Deaths, Addiction Issues, Friendly Fire Incidents and of course Soldiers just leaving their Post. After that only the Luftwaffe Pilots who had to fly for very long hours without being able to take a break were given it. Same is true for Allied Soldiers who instead of Methamphetamine took Amphetamines, earlier also to normal Soldiers but later and even after WW2 only to long flight Pilots as well Prost & Cheers from Berchtesgaden in the Bavarian Alps
I doubt an historian from Munich would Capitalize Every other Word in a Sentence and speak ON Shit they Don't know... But im just A Methead Who disserted his Post...
This contradicts what the book Blitzed by Norman Ohler reports about the Axis abuse of Pervitin, which seemed to indicate that Pervitin was distributed throughout the duration of WWII, though in reduced distribution after its negative effects became apparent in the soldiers of the Blitzkrieg. In particular, it claimed that German midget submarine pilots, who were recruited under much the same circumstances as the Volkssturm in the late stages of the war, were distributed the drug in order to manage their extremely long shifts as well. (Also Hitler himself eventually received the drug, perhaps without knowing it, after Theodor Morell eventually added it to his daily injections.)
@@TonyMichaels166 There are three facts that make growing it locally easy. Finland is a big country, there are strains specifically bred for the nordic countries' climate and there's a grey market for relevant equipment. For a stat, in 2019 at least half of 15-24 year olds had tried weed. I'm a finn btw.
Dank: "Drugs are bad. Don't do them. Now, here's a story about an absolute chad of a Finn who took on the Soviets with nothing but an empty rifle, an empty meth bottle, and a pair of skis." Holy shit! It's a miracle he didn't die from that amount of meth.
His own recollection explains that he didn't take it all in a single dose. He kept redosing occasionally throughout the experience. He took a massive dose of methamphetamine, but he did so over the course of multiple days.
Oh my God. I'm amazed this man SOMEHOW survived. I'm even more amazed he wasn't found on top of a pile of Russian bodies building a throne out of their skulls.
some accounts of the story do cite that he actually went back to the soviet camp, freed his comrades, and led the soviets on a 2-3 day long chase while they escaped, and he skiid over a random finnish landmine by accident, after which he was found by a finnish patrol. The poetry is Aimo, who was meth'd up enough to kill a whole platoon of men, is the most accurate account because there were never any official field reports about his actions on either side. Its all rumours and retellings from soldiers who claimed they were there for one part of it
@@TheLordNovo amphetamines where pretty standard issue at the time for many nations at the time i would be shocked if simo, whos job required staying alert, aware and focused for days on end in sub freezing temperatures, was not given ample supply
henceforth my response to "what would you do if you had a time machine" will be changed from "supply the romans with Monster Energy Zero Ultra" to "supply the viking berserkers with pervatin"
I have a friend who was going through his grandfathers stuff which he left behind after dying, there was a small paper pouch. It was labeled Pervitin, he has ADHD so he has legal amphetamines and we were young so he decided to try it. I got a message at 4am in the night from him which read: "Holy shit this IS pure". I didn't believe that it was still potent but it was surprisingly. Needless to say, he had a good couple of days!
@@rogantoad2571 the road to redemption is to say you're right I was unnecessarily hostile and there was no reason for what I said or you could say I felt that way it doesn't mean things are that way sorry I was rude there's many ways you could have handled it other than to just be an a****** but when the tables are turned on you all of a sudden are a good guy who respects opinions and others views lmao
I wonder if the increased core body temp kept him from freezing to death or the cold weather kept him from overheating to death. Either way, absolute unit.
You’re probably right, I’d wager that it’s the latter. I think that in cases of meth overdose, one of the supportive therapies used in a hospital setting is ice to decrease body temperature.
Count, I gotta say. I just LOVE the script in this video. I've rewatched just the damn intro before you introduce Aimo so many times. Please keep up this wit and humor. I'm absolutely dying over here from the US.
dankula is that weird uncle you have that has either lived long enough/ read enough about history to tell you all these weird war stories. it's amazing. love his work. mad lads never disappoints.
Him riding into the Soviet camp would be perfect in a movie. Him smiling skiing into the camp and around a fire there's 4 Soviet soldiers and they all stop eating and drinking and they all just look at him and he's looking at them for a solid 5 seconds before they start realizing what is happening.
@@CorundumDevil that whole thing being an almost black comedy of errors where you have aimo just causing shenanigans while high as a kite. the whole film told with aimo trying to recall details of what exactly he could recall of his experiences, but of course with more shenanigans added in that aimo does not choose to recall... or is not even sure was real. because of the fact aimo is high as a kite, so many things could happen while aimo is hallucinating and on effectively autopilot.
When he awoken in a Berlin hospital, 3 days later, he asked “how did I get here”. Standing over him, the nurse says “you don’t want to know, we’re still trying to figure that out”.
Pervitin came in 3mg tablets. He didn't even take as much as an average meth-head takes in one day - 200 mg or more. His story of survival is impressive - but meth had very little to do with it.
The story of Aimo is legendary! You can almost see this one finnish soldier high on meth going around punching trees, skiing through enemy camps, burning cabins and stepping on mines. As a russian soldier meeting this individual in a dark winter forest i would be scared shitless!
thinking about aimo's poor unit not being able to keep up reminds me of my old boss's son. we would start work at 630 every morning and during the busy summer he'd often keep us out on jobs til midnight or later. he had effectively become the boss so his dad wouldnt dare say anything about this hed just suffer with us. i often teasingly asked him if he was on meth or what cause i know damn well the red bulls he drank weren't giving him that energy. he always said that was all he needed,just an occasional redbull. all well and good until the day i went into his truck to look for a manual and found 4 empty adderall bottles in his center console compartment. dude was popping adderall like skittles keeping us out all hours of the night exhausted. the next day i called him out in front of the whole crew and said from now on i wasnt going to work ridiculous hours unless he gave me an addy. dude was embarassed and enraged and went off the fucking handle. that was the beginning of the end of my employment there as i made up my mind to quit as soon as i secured another job,which i did around 5 months later.
Props dude, that shit is such a problem for working people. My boss is on what we can only assume are addys (might also be coke, he's too rich for it to be meth) and the amount he expects from us is stupid. Most of us just shine him on and get the job done right like we used to before he got fucked up, but it's tiring to deal with all the time. Honestly, the only reason most of us are still working there is that if a couple of us quit, the business will go under and then everyone else loses their job. It's not all bad though, I've milked it for multiple raises by abusing his short attention span and inability to hire new blood. That's also why I can't find another job that will pay what I'm getting, so it's a double edged sword, but I'm riding this horse into the ground lol. The company *will* fail eventually, but I have something lined up for when that happens and imma suck this well dry before I make that switch. Don't get me wrong, I would love it if we don't go under. I'm not the one at the reins though. We all tried to talk to the boss before shit got bad, we've all seen the signs before. Nothing changed so we started planning for the worst. I'd give it about two more years before it collapses at this rate, less if something unexpected like Covid or a Russian war happens.
That's what happens when rich kids take over the family business. They have no sympathy for the plight of the working class. Expecting you to act like you should be as excited as he is to slave away to make him and his dad richer. I'm a small business owner myself and I would never do that. I also take adderall. But you can't expect people not on adderall to keep up... that's naive. Plus, it sounds like he was taking so much of the stuff, his heart might start having issues soon.
@@TFrills Rich kids can suffer with it. Poor men who become rich can disappointingly fall into the exact same pitfall of zero sympathy - the "I've got mine!" mindset. I've met plenty of self-made moneymen who grew up poor and are only moneymen because they unlearned a degree of empathy in order to do continually steady business without breaking stride.
Good on you, Logan. I was addicted to adderall for 7 years and that shit kills your soul. It's not fair of him to expect his the other workers to keep up with him.
It is almost disturbing how common it was to completely misidentify enemy soldiers as your own. My great uncle spent half the war in a German POW camp because his unit paratrooped behind enemy lines, were waiting for a resupply unit, then waved down a German Panzer division thinking that must be the supply unit. It was a funny story, but I guess cockneys weren't the sharpest tools in the shed.
@@seand.g423 Actually there are many. The trading room in London was full of them, making an absolute fortune before the internet stopped the trading room from being necessary. And they were also some of the first to get out of their area when they saw it being invaded by other ethnicities. You won't find cockneys in S/E London anymore, they all moved.
I work in the NZ film industry, and I’ve made no less than 7 American medical commercials. I’ve never seen productions burn through budgets so amicably.
I did a little research on this and apparently 150 war stories were entered into the competition, out of these, Aimo's story got second place, which isnt bad at all out of 150. The winning story was perhaps more compelling to the judges because it wasnt a funny tale of drug abuse, but a story of one of the greatest - or harshest - battles in the Continuation war. According to a soviet historian Frolov they used 5 500 cannons and 900 rocket artillery, along with bomber planes, to bombard the Finns, accommodated by a tank rush as usual in soviet russian tactics. The story's name in Finnish is "Keskellä Valkeasaaren tulihelvettiä" It's quite the lengthy story, at least compared to Aimo's, but I've gathered up some of the key details here. After spending years in war, the author got buried alive in sand and earth during soviet bombardment in this horrible bloodshed of a battle I described above. Miraculously, he survided the ordeal due to being in whatever air pocket, unlike his fellow comrades, whose praying voices had been silenced by death hours before he was dug up. Reminds me of that one World Trade Center movie where the firefighters get buried by rubble as the towers collapse. However, rescue wasnt the end of that man's ordeal either, as the comrades escorting him out of the frontline had either deserted or simply abandoned him due to the soviet offense and bombardments heating up. He was injured, his leg was thoroughly fucked, he wasnt going anywhere. However, after crawling a mile or two while listening to soviet megaphones telling him about how nice the soviets are in finnish, he was found by other comrades escorting a wounded lieutenant in a civilian car and rescued for good this time. My poorly told summary of his story certainly doesnt do it justice, as there is more to it and the original Finnish story is way better told, but at the very least whoever interested now knows what the winning story was roughly about.
Giving soldiers drugs that they can't get elsewhere is a pretty good strategy from a command POV. You can get people to do some crazy stuff they wouldn't have done otherwise if you are the only source for the drugs they need.
The problem with that theory is people will do **anything** to get their fix, and if the drug's hold is strong enough, this includes doing heinous shit to the commanding officers in charge of the supply so they can get their fix
I still remember that time Dankula got the police involved at his old call center job because he told his co-worker he was going to drop a bomb in the bathroom on his 5 minute break. Of course he didn't clarify WHAT type of bomb
You are kidding me........ The term "Dropping a bomb in the bathroom" has ALWAYS meant taking a dump....... What kind of moronic person would call the police from that
No one will ever beat telling the story better than tales from The bottle.... Only for one reason... When he was talking about the guy going through the Russian camp he had that animation of the soldier and The voice "waaaaahhhh" lol I'm sorry but that was just pure gold
I saw the thumbnail and was confused for a second. I knew I saw a video about this, I just forgot Qxir was the one who did it. I thought of that animation when it came up
Hearing about Aimo getting target-lock on the North Star, I had sudden nightmarish visions of him trekking A LOT further North, and then slaughtering Santa's workshop.
@ButcherBird Scho-ka-kola just has caffeine, Panzerschokolade was the nickname for Pervitin. By the way, Scho-ka-kola still exists, I've got a tin sitting around and it's got about the same amount of caffeine in 8 pieces as a cup of coffee.
Bear went so high, he didn't bother returning to earth after a 100 meter dash (after eating the coke from a dufflebag dropped by a smugglers airplane), he died running. Aimo on the other hand....is immortal. Has seen sh1t no living person or bear has seen. And endured
What blows my mind is that "Aimo annos" = "to take an Aimo helping/serving/dose" is a very common expression in Finnish, and people from old ladies to little children use that expression in a totally innocent way when they mean taking a lot of something (usually something like having a massive serving of food, but also often is used regarding medication)! The saying is so commonplace that I actually thought that "Aimo" was some old synonym for "very big" and it just happened to be the same as the name! 🤣🤣 I only learned of this story a few years ago and its connection to the common saying "Aimo annos"!! I, like most people I know had no idea we've been innocently using an expression containing the name of an absolute madlad, and one about taking massive amounts of meth for years!! I've shared the story since with very many Finns and _none_ of them had known about the origins of that saying before! 🤣🤣🤣
I have to say this though. Aimo is a male name in Finland that can be traced back to 1500s. And as a word it has always meant plentiful or good. My great grandparents used it before this story even came out. But I don't know, it's likely that a double meaning was at least invented relating to the story
Me being a Former Meth addict for 16 years (Clean 15 Years Now), i cant even imagine how Jacked on Meth he must have been. What an Insane But Incredible Story.
@@bbd468 I've been there too.. Major amphetamine user for 10 years. Moved and quit from one day to the next. Not one relapse and I got my life back on track ✌ anything is possible if you put your mind to it ✌ I wish you we'll ✌
I've heard of this story before but can't wait to watch you talk about it as its always great to have the Count Dankular spin on this, lol..keep up the great work mate and you are the ultimate MadLad..
@@Anon1gh3 I'd have to rewatch it, I know it was after he mentioned unreliable narrators during the end half of the video after the story. He used the gandalf varg meme
@@claytonhilliard925 The short story is he is a Black Metal musician that killed another Black Metal musician and he implies it was self-defense, but there were 23 stab wounds on the guy while he himself had none.
But not surprising. The military gets the short stick in every respect of most societies. I know America and Britain run experiments on their soldiers and do little to nothing to help vets. So subjecting them to drugs that might lead to addictions that might lead to jail time is absolutely something the government would do
Well they were supposed to be taken as pills - but as it happen, the weather conditions had caused humidity get in the jar a bit so what Aimo got out of his bottle was the whole content in one adjoined lump stuck together. Bit hart to start pulling pills apart while skiing at the same time some Russians one ones tail - never mind having his fingers suffering a bit of cold.
I listened to this one the only way you should listen to this one, fading in and out of the story only to come back in occassionally to hear snippets like "but he was really just fighting a tree" and "maybe his shelter was on fire, but at least it could keep him warm". Pretty solid story.
I ve seen a German documentary about pervitin and they did many interviews to collect first hand user experiences. This u boat crew had fear and loathing like trip while submerged and the captain was just smiling brightly all along he told the story. They clearly loved it
Your stories of real life madlads are some of the best historical readings, I've heard in many a while. As always, they, as you, are appreciated.. brother.
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Give me your meth
holy crap, dank posted a comment from the future D:
I know this story, even his portrait shot looks like he's wired 😳
@bigmike obama I think he would of stopped to do it, it was just that he had big thick mittens on was why he opened the bottle and stuck them down his neck..
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The man, the meth, the legend
Every meth he takes is one step closer to victory...
Glorious
🤣
You should be ashamed of yourself... for not posting it earlier! Wonderful wordplay
A star sir! 😂🤣😂
He respected the meth. He wasn't a junkie. He alchemically aligned with the higher will of meth.
He reached methvana(nirvana+ meth)
@@kristiankepley5944so CHIM?
It's a miracle that he even lived a few days after he took his entire squad supply of meth. The fuckin mad lad
A divine self authorship so glorious hadn't been seen since the days of Christ in his ministry.
Godspeed Aimo.
And I mean Godspeed in the most literal sense.
Man became the supervillain Snowflame
They gave it to my grandpa in a little tin can like a breathmint style one. He said he'd never felt better in his entire life than when he was killing people high on meth.
That was interesting to hear as a 12 year old.
to be fair, thats kind of meth and amphetamines in general for you.
Youll feel great doing just about anything, with enough of it, even something a sober you would never even consider
💀💀💀
Meth forces such an intense amount of dopamine into your brain that there is literally no experience available in physical reality that will make you feel as good as meth will.
I'm starting to see why the higher ups would be interested in keeping the soldiers on this stuff
Altoids- Say uncle!
"He snapped out of his hallucination and realized he was beating up a tree!"
- Count Dankula, 2022
Minecraft be like
Well? Did he win?
@@1973Washu 🤣🤣
Quote of the decade. Let’s see what else the 2020’s can throw at us.
@@Reed5016 Can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not 🤔🤔
Everyone thinks he was blacked out, but I assure you, that man’s hindsight was CRYSTAL clear
It's just going to take some METHodical analysis to make sense of i.
Jesse! Jesse! Wake up
GODDAMMIT JESSE
Have you ever done a lot of meth
Booo
"He was more meth than man." That is something worth putting on a t-shirt
If I was slightly more of an asshole I'd get that with a pic of me and my bro the day he walked into a detox centre. He'd find it funny I reckon but yeah it'd be in poor taste I think, he's worked really hard to get it together.
Describes my housemate to a "T".
Florida Man’s eulogy
@@SurvivalSpec 🤣🤣
With his picture lol
Fun Fact about Aimo getting into the camp, he got so close he sailed right through the Soviets as they sat at the fire, one of them had their legs up and politely set them down to let Aimo ski by.
High Speed Meth-Induced Zoolander Moment
"just passing by"
The dude who moved his legs had Survival Instinct 100.
my man became the first "Meth Elemental"
This implies the existence of an Elemental Plane of Meth and I'm 100% okay with that new-found information.
A Meth Bender?
YOU DID IT!! THE FINNISH MAD LAD TRIFECTA IS COMPLETED!!!!!!
LONG LIVE SUOMI!!!!
🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮
SUOMI PERKELE!!!
Torille
@@Flechette__ missing Mannerheim
Had the same thought
God bless fingolia
I was somewhere around Murmansk, on the edge of the Soviet border, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember my brain saying to my body something like; "I feel a bit light headed, maybe you should drive". Suddenly there was a terrible roar all around me, and the forest was full of what looked like huge wolverines. All swooping and screeching and jumping around my skis, and a voice was screaming "holy PERKELE what are these goddamn animals?!". The Russian campers asked "You say something?" and I answered "Never mind!"... No point of mentioning these wolverines, I thought, poor bastards will see them soon enough.
-Aimo Hunter S. Koivunen
That is the funniest shat if I ever read
Fear and Loathing in Murmansk
Of course he kept skiing like a maniac. You can't stop in the wolverine country.
That does in fact read like a bad trip in the 1930’s
Hilarious! 😂
I really appreciate how a Supreme Court Justice is willing to take time out of his day to educate & entertain us all.
The Honorable Judge Giant Penis presiding.
Truly the greatest thing that happened in 2022
It is his day off.
Very busy other days.
Very methodical worker.
Hows the federal case on the itty bitty titty committee coming u think!? Is the leader dead yet?!
the fact that aimo didnt have an immediate heart attack is the most impressive part of the whole story. you'd think slamming that much meth would make your heart just explode.
Not in your 20s
Thats the interesting and surprising thing about amphetamines if it was a different derivative of it such as Molly then yea he would of died but just regular methamphetamine doesnt necessarily do that
It was probably beating a bit funky tho
Like every part of heart beating rapidly out of order like a broken piano that some blew up with a German stick grenade
Not just that he survived it, it was most likely the thing that kept him alive. He had to slam enough meth to keep his heart going at 200bpm+ for two weeks with basically no food, because you need your body to produce some serious heat to survive a week long lay down in a -20c forest, among the rest of that ordeal.
Which leads me to conclude that when it comes to meth, the right amount is always all of it.
@@theradicalginger3060 it put me to sleep, good shit, too. but a large dose can put you to sleep. it's easier than panicking for 2 days straight.
As an austrian my grandpa was on the eastern front, as "oberfeldwebel" , so he had some guys below him he could commandeer around. Anyway there was a guy who wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed and one night he went missing. They thought since he was a complete idiot that he didn't survive, but the next day he returned. When my grandpa asked where he went he said: well i lost contact with you guys, so i waited for the next group of soldiers and "walked" with them. That next group of soldiers were soviets LOL, but because everyone's uniform was dirty as hell they couldn't tell, took him to soviet base of operations, and he drank like hell with them, and the next day he simply walked back. Another observation my grandpa made was that the italians aren't picky when it came to women. He died in 1994.
That was awesome! Thanks for sharing.
War can in fact be hilarious. Gott habe ihn selig 😂
I wouldn’t be too picky with women during wartime either honestly 😂
Please tell me this particular German soldier under your Grandpa has a name you can give us
@Jeroen Given they were either all exhausted and/or blasted on stimulants with alcohol mixed in somewhere after a long time on the frontline, I'm pretty sure none of them were able to speak Russian that night either.
The fact that he didn't realize how much pills he took actually helped him. that way he couldn't get into a panic attack. according to him he was "normal ".
there is no sense of normal at doses that extreme. he did handle it extremely well though. i think the oxy also in the pills helped keep him from going completely loony, at least until that part wore off and he was left with nothing but meth-induced psychosis. probably not long before he fought the wolverine
Coming down off like 20mg of adderall is enough to make me panicky. I couldn't fuckin imagine what that amount of stimulants would feel like to suffer through.
@@vaelxn source on oxycodon in pervitin?
@@kmit9191 There isn't one. That dude is confused
@@vaelxn did you just make up that oxy was in pervitin?
Dank's serious face cracks me up more than anything else he does or says.
Haha so true
Did yall watch his roast?
@@a.N..... unironically better than every comedy central roast combined
I think the one thing that kept Aimo alive more than anything, was that the subzero temps kept his body from overheating while overdosing on meth. The arctic weather acted as a radiator to cool the engine of this absolute unit, as he blazed his flaming trail of hundreds of miles tripping his balls off.
The irony that the 2 thing that would have killed him alone kept him alive together.
@@RexZShadowMr. Burns from the Simpsons when his doctor tells him that everything in his body is trying to kill him but they got stuck because too many things try to kill him at once. Kinda like too many ppl going through a doorway at once.
It’s like how in old medicine they would treat poison with another poison.
@@StrawberieAmelie They still do this sometimes. The treatment for antifreeze poisoning is ludicrous amounts of alcohol, enough to give you alcohol poisoning usually.
@@BlackStar2161 you’re absolutely correct about that I didn’t mean to say it only happened in the past but the phrase was used in the past. I don’t hear it much anymore.
There's a story about a Russian unit who had captured alot of Pervitin after a battle with the Germans. Because of this, they all took a ton of it, ended up hallucinating a German ambush during the night, and expended all of their ammo. The next morning, an actual German unit, who had been listening to them shoot wildly all night long, rolled up and captured the entire unit.
A German unit did exactly the same thing. Strange
It makes sense because meth can easily make you hallucinate if you stay awake longer than 1 night. I have experience and I'm not proud of it. You see shadow people in the corners of your vision
"...where he passed away at the ripe old age of 71"
Of the meth overdose finally catching up with him, presumably. Dude gave running shoes to the Grim Reaper.
This story just screams, "Your injuries are not service related."
Yeah, the experience really really fucked him up. It was extremely terrifying and incredibly traumatizing. PTSD? What's that?
Reminds me of a war story my great grandfather told at a christmas dinner, involving him and his unit beating a german tank division. Looting the subsequent division for useful shit when they stumbled upon a couple crates of chocolate. They thought they just won the lottery and proceeded to chow down on some yummy german chocolate.... According to my great grandpa he and his unit couldn't sleep for a week
Oooh panzerchocolate, I heard about that, I bet he had an...interesting week
@@comradesam3382i need lore on panzerchocolate
Grandpa just wanted some yummy German Chocolate but ended up high as a kite for a week.
@@randomkriegsman8444 apparently the radio operator was so high he thought his dental fillings were receiving fuckin German radio broadcasts.... Apparently it also made them jumpy as shit, not heard directly from Grandpa but another WW2 German front veteran said something similar a couple years ago at the local VFW, the same guy said night fighting looked a lot like fucking Star Wars with all the red and green tracers.... The only difference was the inverted colors the Americans used red tracers and Germans used green tracers
Not to ruin the fun but no, panzerchocolate does not contain meth. Meth tablets (pervitin was the most notorious) were served separately. Panzerchocolate or shocacola countained "only" a fuckton of caffeine. You can still buy it and i've tryied it, it's good... But you can't sleep after that.
"I got baked and never let the dog in. It's winter he's deed" in a glaswegian accent is the best sentence I've heard all day
Indeed 😊!
It used to help soldiers, now it helps me get radios out of cars. 🥰
lol
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Hahaha my fucking sides hurt hahaha
For those of you who are wondering what kind of a story the winner of the writing contest had, while Aimo's story is both impressive and kind of hilarious, the winner of the competition wrote about his harrowing personal experiences in the battle of Valkeasaari during the Soviet mass offensive in Karelia in 1944. He recalled the deaths of hundreds of his fellow soldiers within less than a couple of days, being bombarded by airstrikes and getting crushed under their collapsed dugout, then dragging himself through a swamp and across a river to a road where he was rescued. He returned home alive but impaired. The story isn't as legendary or even unique, but the contest wasn't about finding the most epic adventure, the point was to share and record the experiences that the veterans had endured but hadn't necessarily communicated, while also highlighting the literary merits of the written stories.
Can you tell us the name of the book or the author?
@@krel3358 It's an old Finnish magazine called Kansa Taisteli
appreciate it
the meth story is by far much better. the other is a dime a dozen basically.
@LostGeburah Did you read it? Was the winning story just better writing? Because that's the only other reason I can see for it losing out. You may have a great story, but if your writing isn't very skilful and compelling, it makes sense that it would place lower.
That dude really did unlock a unique hidden achievement in life.
Maybe he’s born with it.
Maybe it’s Methamphetamines.
Simo Häyhä, Lauri Allan Törni, and Aimo Koivunen walked into a Soviet-owned bar.
The whole night was a blur, and the three awoke to find all the communists slaughtered.
According to Simo, the bartender knew his face and pulled a gun.
According to Lauri, he saw the hammer and sickle and pulled his gun.
According to Aimo, the wolverine came back.
Edit: Holy shit, thanks for the 1k likes guys!
Best comment
Who would win? The Finns, the Spartans, the Highlanders, the Gurkhas or the Ukrainians?
(๑ॢ˃̶͈̀ ꇴ ˂̶͈́๑ॢ) л̵ʱªʱªʱª
@@jabloko992 All of them, I find it difficult to believe any of them would see any reason to fight the others and would instead embark on the most legendary pub crawl in history.
THE WOLVERINE AAAAAAAAA
German Historian from Munich here, glad you covered this guy, it's incredible he survived all of that.
When i did Research on Pervitin (Methamphetamine) in Axis Forces and their Allies i spent about a Year reading through countless of Frontline Medic & Doctor Reports regarding Soldiers who went off of the deep end, usually by stealing Pervitin because they liked it so much, the small amount of mg that was allowed during early WW2 (after that it was only Black Market and for Pilots) wasn't enough for them. And like all People on high Doses of Meth do, they started to steal and thought "Hey leaving my Post and risking Court Martial is a great idea!".
I could write a whole Book in here but long story short: The Axis Forces stopped giving Pervitin out to Soldiers as early as late 1940 because there were too many Deaths, Addiction Issues, Friendly Fire Incidents and of course Soldiers just leaving their Post.
After that only the Luftwaffe Pilots who had to fly for very long hours without being able to take a break were given it.
Same is true for Allied Soldiers who instead of Methamphetamine took Amphetamines, earlier also to normal Soldiers but later and even after WW2 only to long flight Pilots as well
Prost & Cheers from Berchtesgaden in the Bavarian Alps
I doubt an historian from Munich would Capitalize Every other Word in a Sentence and speak ON Shit they Don't know... But im just A Methead Who disserted his Post...
This contradicts what the book Blitzed by Norman Ohler reports about the Axis abuse of Pervitin, which seemed to indicate that Pervitin was distributed throughout the duration of WWII, though in reduced distribution after its negative effects became apparent in the soldiers of the Blitzkrieg. In particular, it claimed that German midget submarine pilots, who were recruited under much the same circumstances as the Volkssturm in the late stages of the war, were distributed the drug in order to manage their extremely long shifts as well. (Also Hitler himself eventually received the drug, perhaps without knowing it, after Theodor Morell eventually added it to his daily injections.)
@@krispiracy6846 He's German. That's why. It's not every other word. Germans capitalize every noun. Better lay off that meth.
Merry Christmas and Happy New year.
@@krispiracy6846 You're wrong. German grammar capitalizes all nouns.
Never underestimate a Finns ability to binge... be it coffee, vodka, hundred packs of beer... or in my case the devils cabbage lol. Sisu is very real.
It's not the devil's. It's grown on god's green earth
How is the market over there? With it not being legal and all. Just curious.
@@TonyMichaels166I'd imagine similar to the UK. Can find it anywhere, at any time.
@@TonyMichaels166 There are three facts that make growing it locally easy. Finland is a big country, there are strains specifically bred for the nordic countries' climate and there's a grey market for relevant equipment. For a stat, in 2019 at least half of 15-24 year olds had tried weed. I'm a finn btw.
"He was stuck in a forest with an empty rifle-"
This implies Aimo was shooting something or someone while blacked out. 🤣
Legend has it there was no catalytic converters on any cars and trucks in a 200km radius from where he first taken the meth
Those wolverines were f*cking everywhere man...
He fired them at Napoleon in the Battle of Aspern-Essling.
If I remember correctly he went catatonic for a while initially, his comrade just took his bullets away.
During a brief rest stop his teammates noticed he was acting a bit erratic, so they took away his ammo
[This comment contained many errors. The People's Republic of China corrected this mistake.]
动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Winnie the Pooh 劉曉波动态网自由门
@@dongatello6969 Yes, very much yes.
*John Cena Walks in*
Bing?
Chilling?
- 900000 social credit 😱
Dank: "Drugs are bad. Don't do them. Now, here's a story about an absolute chad of a Finn who took on the Soviets with nothing but an empty rifle, an empty meth bottle, and a pair of skis."
Holy shit! It's a miracle he didn't die from that amount of meth.
Hit up the handle👆. The plug for Psychedelics and more.....
Nah, he just got "bottle drunk."
His own recollection explains that he didn't take it all in a single dose. He kept redosing occasionally throughout the experience. He took a massive dose of methamphetamine, but he did so over the course of multiple days.
I think this is mostly true because I have read it from 3 other sources
@@dark2023-1lovesoni I figured, methamphetamine doesn't last weeks
SteveMRE is a national treasure. Those videos are hypnotic.
Let's get this out on a tray. Nice.
Yeah, love that guy.
Oh my God. I'm amazed this man SOMEHOW survived. I'm even more amazed he wasn't found on top of a pile of Russian bodies building a throne out of their skulls.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD SKULLS FOR THE SKULL Throne
If he'd run into Simo Hayha during his tweak-long trip, that 100% would have happened.
some accounts of the story do cite that he actually went back to the soviet camp, freed his comrades, and led the soviets on a 2-3 day long chase while they escaped, and he skiid over a random finnish landmine by accident, after which he was found by a finnish patrol.
The poetry is Aimo, who was meth'd up enough to kill a whole platoon of men, is the most accurate account because there were never any official field reports about his actions on either side. Its all rumours and retellings from soldiers who claimed they were there for one part of it
@@1krani in an alternate timeline, it was Simo who took the meth, as well as served as a Sniper. His kill count is in the thousands I bet
@@TheLordNovo amphetamines where pretty standard issue at the time for many nations at the time
i would be shocked if simo, whos job required staying alert, aware and focused for days on end in sub freezing temperatures, was not given ample supply
This man was a modern-day berserker. He made Odin proud😂
henceforth my response to "what would you do if you had a time machine" will be changed from "supply the romans with Monster Energy Zero Ultra" to "supply the viking berserkers with pervatin"
Prototype Eversore.
Odin is that Scandinavian stuff to the west behind the sea. If you want to learn about Finnish mythology, there's Kalevala you can read.
@@LadZeroUltra Mine would be to load the Aztecs up with vaccines and tell them to expect the Spanish Inquisition, lol.
Finns aren’t Scandinavian, nor Germanic. They have their own culture and folk religion
I have a friend who was going through his grandfathers stuff which he left behind after dying, there was a small paper pouch. It was labeled Pervitin, he has ADHD so he has legal amphetamines and we were young so he decided to try it. I got a message at 4am in the night from him which read: "Holy shit this IS pure". I didn't believe that it was still potent but it was surprisingly. Needless to say, he had a good couple of days!
Who leaves their stuff behind after dying? Cringe. You're supposed bring it all with you
@@rogantoad2571 you're right. I better take it with me when I die
@@rogantoad2571 brother, please shush you're the only cringe one here
@@GraniteGolem bro that’s your respected opinion if you feel that then I respect it.
@@rogantoad2571 the road to redemption is to say you're right I was unnecessarily hostile and there was no reason for what I said or you could say I felt that way it doesn't mean things are that way sorry I was rude there's many ways you could have handled it other than to just be an a****** but when the tables are turned on you all of a sudden are a good guy who respects opinions and others views lmao
This man lived a life probably no one could ever live to tell.
I wonder if the increased core body temp kept him from freezing to death or the cold weather kept him from overheating to death.
Either way, absolute unit.
Wouldn’t vasoconstriction from the meth decrease his body temperature?
@@MnemonicHeadTrip 200 bpm might change that
@@MnemonicHeadTrip
Good point.
@@ucker542 I’m not really sure it would on an entire bottle of pervitin
You’re probably right, I’d wager that it’s the latter. I think that in cases of meth overdose, one of the supportive therapies used in a hospital setting is ice to decrease body temperature.
Count,
I gotta say. I just LOVE the script in this video. I've rewatched just the damn intro before you introduce Aimo so many times. Please keep up this wit and humor. I'm absolutely dying over here from the US.
How has no one made a movie out of this???
Well they're making a movie about a bear high on concaine, so it could be a possibility.
@@cloudkracker9664 stfu, when is this movie coming out and what is it called?
@@user-is3dy7rp2e Search up cocaine bear trailer on youtube. trust me, your gonna like it.
There aren't enough queer POCs in the story
90 minutes of a wired Finn skiing and punching trees haha
dankula is that weird uncle you have that has either lived long enough/ read enough about history to tell you all these weird war stories. it's amazing. love his work. mad lads never disappoints.
The truth: when you run out of jokes you turn too history just to have something to fucking talk about when that’s your job
As many times as I've heard it, this story never gets old.
"went toe to toe with ted kraczynsky's stand" is an underrated line
I'm not sure what he meant by "stand" (I'm assuming he didn't mean something like a stage or altar). Could someone explain for me?
@@JohnGardnerAlhadisIt's a Jo Jo's Bizarre Adventure reference.
@@absolutechaos13 Thank you!
You've heard of devil's lettuce, now get ready for Satan's Stalagmite
Him riding into the Soviet camp would be perfect in a movie. Him smiling skiing into the camp and around a fire there's 4 Soviet soldiers and they all stop eating and drinking and they all just look at him and he's looking at them for a solid 5 seconds before they start realizing what is happening.
Aimo: :D
Soviets: :T ... >:T
Aimo: :D ..... D8
@@CorundumDevil that whole thing being an almost black comedy of errors where you have aimo just causing shenanigans while high as a kite. the whole film told with aimo trying to recall details of what exactly he could recall of his experiences, but of course with more shenanigans added in that aimo does not choose to recall... or is not even sure was real. because of the fact aimo is high as a kite, so many things could happen while aimo is hallucinating and on effectively autopilot.
First cocaine bear
Next meth aimo
@@CorundumDevilyou keep that damned emoji slander out of this!
Aimo was a Finn, there has to be a Spurdo style "Fug mai benis XD" in there somewhere.
He started punching trees before most of us were even born, actual minecraft pro right here.
Out of all the Mad Lads episodes, I laughed the hardest and most often at this one 🤣
"But, a wolverine wasn't a land mine" What a line.
The next mad lad should be the guy who won the war story contest, if this guy was second place the first place story must be even better.
The guy who won the contest saved up all his unit's Pervitin and gave it to the judges.
When he awoken in a Berlin hospital, 3 days later, he asked “how did I get here”. Standing over him, the nurse says “you don’t want to know, we’re still trying to figure that out”.
Literally gods highest meth head. Took it with a purpose and god gave it to him. Absolute legend lmao
Aimo: *takes all the meth*
God: Oh no another overdos- wait a minute... this is going to be fun
Pervitin came in 3mg tablets. He didn't even take as much as an average meth-head takes in one day - 200 mg or more. His story of survival is impressive - but meth had very little to do with it.
The story of Aimo is legendary! You can almost see this one finnish soldier high on meth going around punching trees, skiing through enemy camps, burning cabins and stepping on mines. As a russian soldier meeting this individual in a dark winter forest i would be scared shitless!
But not for long.....
"i fucking hate it here." - Soviets in the Finnish Winter forest.
thinking about aimo's poor unit not being able to keep up reminds me of my old boss's son. we would start work at 630 every morning and during the busy summer he'd often keep us out on jobs til midnight or later. he had effectively become the boss so his dad wouldnt dare say anything about this hed just suffer with us. i often teasingly asked him if he was on meth or what cause i know damn well the red bulls he drank weren't giving him that energy. he always said that was all he needed,just an occasional redbull. all well and good until the day i went into his truck to look for a manual and found 4 empty adderall bottles in his center console compartment. dude was popping adderall like skittles keeping us out all hours of the night exhausted. the next day i called him out in front of the whole crew and said from now on i wasnt going to work ridiculous hours unless he gave me an addy. dude was embarassed and enraged and went off the fucking handle. that was the beginning of the end of my employment there as i made up my mind to quit as soon as i secured another job,which i did around 5 months later.
Props dude, that shit is such a problem for working people. My boss is on what we can only assume are addys (might also be coke, he's too rich for it to be meth) and the amount he expects from us is stupid. Most of us just shine him on and get the job done right like we used to before he got fucked up, but it's tiring to deal with all the time. Honestly, the only reason most of us are still working there is that if a couple of us quit, the business will go under and then everyone else loses their job. It's not all bad though, I've milked it for multiple raises by abusing his short attention span and inability to hire new blood. That's also why I can't find another job that will pay what I'm getting, so it's a double edged sword, but I'm riding this horse into the ground lol. The company *will* fail eventually, but I have something lined up for when that happens and imma suck this well dry before I make that switch.
Don't get me wrong, I would love it if we don't go under. I'm not the one at the reins though. We all tried to talk to the boss before shit got bad, we've all seen the signs before. Nothing changed so we started planning for the worst. I'd give it about two more years before it collapses at this rate, less if something unexpected like Covid or a Russian war happens.
That's what happens when rich kids take over the family business. They have no sympathy for the plight of the working class. Expecting you to act like you should be as excited as he is to slave away to make him and his dad richer.
I'm a small business owner myself and I would never do that. I also take adderall. But you can't expect people not on adderall to keep up... that's naive.
Plus, it sounds like he was taking so much of the stuff, his heart might start having issues soon.
@@TFrills Rich kids can suffer with it. Poor men who become rich can disappointingly fall into the exact same pitfall of zero sympathy - the "I've got mine!" mindset.
I've met plenty of self-made moneymen who grew up poor and are only moneymen because they unlearned a degree of empathy in order to do continually steady business without breaking stride.
@@shaness112233 hard times make hard men, easy times turn men soft, soft men make hard times
Good on you, Logan. I was addicted to adderall for 7 years and that shit kills your soul. It's not fair of him to expect his the other workers to keep up with him.
It is almost disturbing how common it was to completely misidentify enemy soldiers as your own.
My great uncle spent half the war in a German POW camp because his unit paratrooped behind enemy lines, were waiting for a resupply unit, then waved down a German Panzer division thinking that must be the supply unit.
It was a funny story, but I guess cockneys weren't the sharpest tools in the shed.
You mean there were _sharp_ ones? 🤯
@@seand.g423 Actually there are many. The trading room in London was full of them, making an absolute fortune before the internet stopped the trading room from being necessary.
And they were also some of the first to get out of their area when they saw it being invaded by other ethnicities.
You won't find cockneys in S/E London anymore, they all moved.
You're great storyteller, Dank.
I tell some of your stories to my kids in an ultra short version. Great fun.
Thanks
I work in the NZ film industry, and I’ve made no less than 7 American medical commercials. I’ve never seen productions burn through budgets so amicably.
I did a little research on this and apparently 150 war stories were entered into the competition, out of these, Aimo's story got second place, which isnt bad at all out of 150.
The winning story was perhaps more compelling to the judges because it wasnt a funny tale of drug abuse, but a story of one of the greatest - or harshest - battles in the Continuation war. According to a soviet historian Frolov they used 5 500 cannons and 900 rocket artillery, along with bomber planes, to bombard the Finns, accommodated by a tank rush as usual in soviet russian tactics.
The story's name in Finnish is "Keskellä Valkeasaaren tulihelvettiä" It's quite the lengthy story, at least compared to Aimo's, but I've gathered up some of the key details here. After spending years in war, the author got buried alive in sand and earth during soviet bombardment in this horrible bloodshed of a battle I described above. Miraculously, he survided the ordeal due to being in whatever air pocket, unlike his fellow comrades, whose praying voices had been silenced by death hours before he was dug up. Reminds me of that one World Trade Center movie where the firefighters get buried by rubble as the towers collapse.
However, rescue wasnt the end of that man's ordeal either, as the comrades escorting him out of the frontline had either deserted or simply abandoned him due to the soviet offense and bombardments heating up. He was injured, his leg was thoroughly fucked, he wasnt going anywhere. However, after crawling a mile or two while listening to soviet megaphones telling him about how nice the soviets are in finnish, he was found by other comrades escorting a wounded lieutenant in a civilian car and rescued for good this time.
My poorly told summary of his story certainly doesnt do it justice, as there is more to it and the original Finnish story is way better told, but at the very least whoever interested now knows what the winning story was roughly about.
It's actually a lot harder than you'd think to OD on meth. Don't ask me how I know that lmao
How do u know that 🤓
I believe you. This man took a ridiculous amount of it and still survived an OD
@@markuss4133 Wasn't a joke.
@@markuss4133 but it is true though! I would know :)
I've gone 7 days straight on it, not worth it but no sign of OD
The smile on your face when you said the soldier's name! I knew it would be amazing! awesome content.
Just imagine the story's told by the people who experienced this mad man's presence
That's absolutely nothing put them in the same room
That reminds me of the tourettes comedian that talks about the heath camp wen to
If everyone who experienced this was in room with him
Being that they are Finnish, they probably under sold it, and then asked if the conversation could be cut short
imagine you drive behind a guy who has also has to clear the way for the rest and he still manages to out run you.
@@thanquolrattenherz9665 I do alot of stuff like this
I'm excited to see this. Thank you for giving us quality videos on many events from human history.
Giving soldiers drugs that they can't get elsewhere is a pretty good strategy from a command POV. You can get people to do some crazy stuff they wouldn't have done otherwise if you are the only source for the drugs they need.
The problem with that theory is people will do **anything** to get their fix, and if the drug's hold is strong enough, this includes doing heinous shit to the commanding officers in charge of the supply so they can get their fix
*The way you explain how he just skied into the enemies camp... PRICELESS! Watched this ep like 5x and I'm still laughing*
So many Finnish mad lads Im proud of.
"went toe-to-toe with Ted Kaczynski's stand" slayed me
I still remember that time Dankula got the police involved at his old call center job because he told his co-worker he was going to drop a bomb in the bathroom on his 5 minute break. Of course he didn't clarify WHAT type of bomb
You are kidding me........ The term "Dropping a bomb in the bathroom" has ALWAYS meant taking a dump....... What kind of moronic person would call the police from that
Where did he talk about this?
@@dontshootmex5588 reddit stories…🤷♂️
@@pranc236 no lmao but he did get fired for taking a shit longer than 5 minutes. Call center jobs suck ass
Even the bomb-squad couldn't do anything against that shit.
You could say that they were 'shit out of luck'. :)
Man this is the craziest story I've have ever heard I think every country that fought in the second world war should give this poor guy a medal 🥇🏅
No one will ever beat telling the story better than tales from The bottle.... Only for one reason... When he was talking about the guy going through the Russian camp he had that animation of the soldier and The voice "waaaaahhhh" lol I'm sorry but that was just pure gold
That's how I first heard about this story. Quixr is the best!
I saw the thumbnail and was confused for a second. I knew I saw a video about this, I just forgot Qxir was the one who did it. I thought of that animation when it came up
@@thegreatestfallout1794 same here, that animation just makes me chuckle everytime.
Qxir be the best!
Wee mad ploppy wans anaw.
Koivunen's picture tells me this man has seen the meaning if the universe and it left him mentally scarred.
Stimlants dont show people anything. But his mind is scarred.
WW2 ration sales went up 420% after this video.
The subconscious "Gandalf" flash was hilarious btw!😆😆😆
Took me ages on my mobile to see what it was. Got it eventually lol.
You don't recognize the guy? That is the other "Count" Varg Vikernes.
they'd only be in rations of 1939 and early 1940
By far my favorite history channel.
Keep up the good work Ser Dankula!
We need a Madlad episode on Lemmy Kilmister!
Hell yeah! Dude was a machine!
YES!
Was Lemmys body eventually donated to science-fiction?
@@sevenproxies4255 his body is still on the road, they just aren't together anymore.
This would be fascinating.
Genuinely lovely guy too.
R.I.P champ
Hearing about Aimo getting target-lock on the North Star, I had sudden nightmarish visions of him trekking A LOT further North, and then slaughtering Santa's workshop.
So pumped about the SteveMRE shoutout! You can pretty much pinpoint when the "special" chocolate starts to kick in during his video lol
Which video was this?
It‘s now been privated or deleted, but it was a German WW2 pilot emergency ration.
You may find it when searching for Steve1989 Scho-Ka-Kola
@ButcherBird Scho-ka-kola just has caffeine, Panzerschokolade was the nickname for Pervitin.
By the way, Scho-ka-kola still exists, I've got a tin sitting around and it's got about the same amount of caffeine in 8 pieces as a cup of coffee.
@@lonelystrategos the red or the blue one?
@@butcherbird5148 Blue is milk chocolade, red is darker, otherwise they are same.
"Toe to toe with Ted Kazinski's Stand..." Dropped me to the floor our of my chair like Tyler1 having a seizure.
Aimo has selected to be long range scout because of his skiing and survival skills. Apparently he was a real specialist.
Now I wanna know who was more high, this guy or the bear who ate 34 kilos of cocaine
I smell a death march on n tge comments
The bear
The cocaine just made the bear really annoying to talk to
Didn't the bear get a job selling dodgy investment schemes? Heard he was amazing at it.
Bear went so high, he didn't bother returning to earth after a 100 meter dash (after eating the coke from a dufflebag dropped by a smugglers airplane), he died running. Aimo on the other hand....is immortal. Has seen sh1t no living person or bear has seen. And endured
What blows my mind is that "Aimo annos" = "to take an Aimo helping/serving/dose" is a very common expression in Finnish, and people from old ladies to little children use that expression in a totally innocent way when they mean taking a lot of something (usually something like having a massive serving of food, but also often is used regarding medication)!
The saying is so commonplace that I actually thought that "Aimo" was some old synonym for "very big" and it just happened to be the same as the name! 🤣🤣
I only learned of this story a few years ago and its connection to the common saying "Aimo annos"!!
I, like most people I know had no idea we've been innocently using an expression containing the name of an absolute madlad, and one about taking massive amounts of meth for years!! I've shared the story since with very many Finns and _none_ of them had known about the origins of that saying before! 🤣🤣🤣
Wait what? I've always thought "aimo" is an adjective that means "a whole lot". Does it actually come from him?
Taking the Aimo dose :D
@@AnnaMarianne That's what I learned!! "Aimo annos" comes from Aimo taking _all the m3th_ !!
You are telling me that he took so much meth that an entire country started to use his name as a benchmark? lol
I have to say this though. Aimo is a male name in Finland that can be traced back to 1500s. And as a word it has always meant plentiful or good. My great grandparents used it before this story even came out. But I don't know, it's likely that a double meaning was at least invented relating to the story
Me being a Former Meth addict for 16 years (Clean 15 Years Now), i cant even imagine how Jacked on Meth he must have been. What an Insane But Incredible Story.
Congratulations of being clean
Congrats on staying clean ✌ one day at a time bro ✌
@@hilpi75 Hey Daniel, Thanks so much Fella, you don't know how much i appreciate that. God Bless, Sir!
@@bbd468 I've been there too.. Major amphetamine user for 10 years. Moved and quit from one day to the next. Not one relapse and I got my life back on track ✌ anything is possible if you put your mind to it ✌ I wish you we'll ✌
You should get on it again. You know the fun you're missing out on. 😮💨
I've heard of this story before but can't wait to watch you talk about it as its always great to have the Count Dankular spin on this, lol..keep up the great work mate and you are the ultimate MadLad..
I been having a rough couple months. But this made me laugh really well. Thanks. I always love watching your videos
The quick flash of Varg after the un-reliable narrator bit SLAYED me oh my fek! I didn't even know Dankula knew about that 🤣🤘🤘
TIMESTAMP PLEASE!
@@Anon1gh3 I'd have to rewatch it, I know it was after he mentioned unreliable narrators during the end half of the video after the story. He used the gandalf varg meme
Who's Varg?
@@claytonhilliard925 The short story is he is a Black Metal musician that killed another Black Metal musician and he implies it was self-defense, but there were 23 stab wounds on the guy while he himself had none.
@@Anon1gh3 29:45
This title sold me immediately 🤣
Thank you for all the effort and laughs Count Dankula 🤘
Holy crap they were giving their soldiers essentially giant speedballs that's insane
But not surprising. The military gets the short stick in every respect of most societies. I know America and Britain run experiments on their soldiers and do little to nothing to help vets. So subjecting them to drugs that might lead to addictions that might lead to jail time is absolutely something the government would do
Japan did this as well and I think Vietnam
actually fairly small speedballs,
the german tablets where 5mg, in the theraputic range for a child.
@@therideneverends1697 it's 5mg of pure meth, equivalent of around 0.1 grams of street meth.
Yeah, it's more or less a one dose.
Well they were supposed to be taken as pills - but as it happen, the weather conditions had caused humidity get in the jar a bit so what Aimo got out of his bottle was the whole content in one adjoined lump stuck together. Bit hart to start pulling pills apart while skiing at the same time some Russians one ones tail - never mind having his fingers suffering a bit of cold.
How is this not a movie?! Or at least an episode of NCIS or something! EPIC.
You are an amazing story teller!
I desperately want Dank to start a movie studio and produce Mad Lads as feature films. My god, how glorious would that be?
Get this to top comment, this one would've been hilarious too
@@No-One-of-Consequence kek
Mate is truly built different, man just decided not to die
I love historical videos about all sorts of things, including war, but yours was definitely the most entertaining 😂. Very well done!
Boy words cannot express how hyped I am for this one
I listened to this one the only way you should listen to this one, fading in and out of the story only to come back in occassionally to hear snippets like "but he was really just fighting a tree" and "maybe his shelter was on fire, but at least it could keep him warm". Pretty solid story.
Aimo where have you been?
“ah you will never believe me”
Like seeing your mates again at a festival
"Fuck if I know"
The moment you recounted when Aimo beat the life out of a tree in a hallucination is the moment I decided this is one of my favorite Madlads.
Xmas came early this year; this is one of my favourite stories!! Thanks Count!
I ve seen a German documentary about pervitin and they did many interviews to collect first hand user experiences. This u boat crew had fear and loathing like trip while submerged and the captain was just smiling brightly all along he told the story. They clearly loved it
Do you perchance have the title of the documentary?
''for legal reasons that's a joke''
-count dankula
Technically he was quoting PewDiePie
''sounds like you have a dic in your mouth''
- some black lady in a movie technically
250 miles... in snow... Skiing... On Meth... Jusus Christ. That really is a Miracle and sounds unbelievable.
Your stories of real life madlads are some of the best historical readings, I've heard in many a while.
As always, they, as you, are appreciated.. brother.
Hit up the handle👆. The plug for Psychedelics and more.....
God. The phrase madlads is so annoying and cringe. Who cares? How about an original thought??
Guy is a Champ, dealt with a lot of ODs and I can only imagine the super human speed he got from it.
"lay off the cabbage" as I pack my bong with my dogs I forgot about sitting beside me
aww, dont let your dogs inhale that
How did you fit them in the bowl?
@@anticom6099 I thought I was the only one that read it that way
4:30.
He smokin that DAWG 🥶🥶🥶